Well, bagpipes have been declared a weapon of war. Seems reasonable.
If I were ever to have a daughter I'd want to name her Eleanor. Ellen for short. Beautiful name.
Ellen what the fuck happened in 1998
ellen degeneres came out in 1997
yeah but ellen what happened in 2014
ellen page came out in 2014
Ellen is just a lesbian name face it
I like how this one went.
I was a horrible child. I might even go so far as to say I was a horrible person until the age of ... oh, I dunno ... maybe 36?
Hell, I might still be horrible.
Hah! "Poop De Ville"
I'm 12 and poop jokes are hilarious.
My coffee is an addiction. My tea is a passion. Sweet, sweet passion.
A handy guide for daily life!
Also, thank you so much for the all of the wedding support and RSVPs! We’ve made it to 86% funding and we’re almost done with our invites, so don’t wait to fill out the RSVP form! We can’t wait to share this fun time with you all!
Aaaand in final big news: We’re arranging a ChaosLife Book Kickstarter! Holy bananas! Full color, 200+ pages, new comics, bonus content — it’s going to be awesome. We’re planning on launching soon and making a more official-like announcement very shortly, so stay tuned!
My clone and I would fight over who had to play guitar and who got to play bass.
Every princess needs a tiara. I'm still looking for the one that suits me best.
OMG! ALL THE TOE BEANS!
A polydactyl cat is a cat with a congenital physical anomaly called polydactyly (or polydactylism, also known as hyperdactyly), that causes the cat to be born with more than the usual number of toes on one or more of its paws. Regular cats have five toes on their front feet and four on their back, for a total of 18. But polydactyl [pronounced pol-ee-dak-til] cats boast more toes, usually on their front feet. Polydactyl cats are known by many names, including “Hemingway cats,” “mitten cats,” “big-foot cats” and “six-toed cats” — or even “cats with thumbs.”
circuitbird: Adam shot me the dirtiest look for listening to U2 but I feel no shame over The Joshua...
I will forgive Bono for pretty much anything. He's an idiot but he sang this: https://youtu.be/l2puvI4IfG0
That got me through many a dark night one summer back in college.
I am a creature of the night. Fear my wrath!
I'd watch the hell out of this movie.
The virus took the village in less than 48 hours and when, as zombies, they rushed the castle on that third night, it was a bloodbath – the happy, friendly, direction-giving guards providing no actual protection. Of the princesses at the state dinner, only five had seen actual combat and garnered some survival skills. Jasmine cleaned out the foyer; Pocahontas drove the undead from the terrace; Mulan carved a path to the scullery (securing their access to food and water); Tiana opened a can of wupass in the dining hall to serve as safe zone and lodging; Merida took point on the main staircase until the swarms were dispatched. “What’s our status?” Jasmine asked the group. “Snow White and Aurora both went to sleep and were immediately taken; Cinderella ran off alone (doomed and leaving a shoe behind); Ariel dove into the pool to hide (fate unknown),” Pocahontas shared. “Belle made it as far as the library, but only had a talking candlestick for protection; Rapunzel let her hair down by accident and the zombies climbed up,” Mulan added softly. “Well, let’s stay focused on the future,” Tiana said. “Does anybody feel like singing to the forest animals and having them relay our call for help?” Merida started giggling (she couldn’t help it) and, within seconds, they were all laughing.
Every so often I'll go a month without coffee just to make sure that I -can-. I go through a day of mild headaches and rediscover my love of tea. At the end of the 30 days I tend to start drinking coffee again because, strangely enough, I actually really like how coffee tastes. :)
Deep, penetrating wisdom.
Hovertext: PS: Make America Great Again
I bet Dax and Spock 'met' once. In fact I'm just gonna pretend that they did and it was AWESOME!
I did a thing.
Because I love you all and it's the season and all that …
I'm making my entire discography available on Bandcamp for FREE!
Today and tomorrow, to celebrate the darkest hours of the year I have my albums (on Bandcamp, that is) available as a "set your own price" download. If you already have my albums do please feel free to share this link with anyone you think might like it. You can even send it as a gift through Bandcamp.
I will be setting the prices back to normal at the end of the day on Tuesday (the 22nd) so act fast! Share widely! And I hope to see you at one of our many shows next year!
Take care, drive safe, and give someone you love a hug from me.
I'm with Dad on this one.
I will call it the Praying Mantis Divorce.
I don't wear a pink Mother Hubbard dress when I sit in my rocking chair. I have a snuggy with monkeys on it.
Hovertext: All old ladies wear pink Mother Hubbard dresses and sit in rocking chairs all the time.
I would spend all the quality time with Jane. I like the cut of her jib.
I hope you find your jam in 2016.
I hope you find love in 2016.
I hope you find financial stability, as well, in 2016
Also, I hope you get astonishing dick in 2016.
I hope you find peace in 2016.
I hope you find happiness within yourself in 2016.
I hope you find those bobby-pins in 2016
i hope you get closure in 2016
I hope you get those good grades you deserve in 2016
I hope you find yourself 2016
I hope you live the life you deserve in 2016
I hope you stop taking shit from people in 2016
I hope you make amazing memories in 2016
I hope you create something you find beautiful in 2016.
I don't know why but this hit me right between the eyes. Dang.
Maggie got ready very slowly, doing her hair and makeup with extra care. “Is today the day?” Robert said, too cheery for the room. “Yes,” she replied in a whisper. “O, Death, where is thy victory – right? RIGHT?” he laughed and turned, seeing tears roll down her face in the bathroom light. “Oh, hey, I’m … hey,” Robert said, feeling guilty. “I’m sorry.” “Every year,” she said, taking a deep breath, “all immortals must take a meal with the angel of death – typically on our birthdays. The angel is beautiful, you know … like … incredibly beautiful. And he radiates love, Robert – the most amazing kind of everything’s-going-to-be-all-right love; it’s the most horrible thing you’ve ever felt in your life.” “How is it horrible? I don’t understand,” he said, taking her in his arms. “Don’t you talk like old friends?” “Imagine that everyone you’ve ever loved is somewhere else – somewhere far from you, and there’s one person (and only one) who can take you to that place,” Maggie wiped her eyes. “But he can’t, you see. He wants to more than anything, but he can’t take you. You’re not allowed. You have to go and find other people to love … over and over again … and you’re never sure that you can. That’s the raw end of the deal.” He hugged her tightly, not saying anything else. “We don’t eat. We don’t even talk,” Maggie said, eventually pulling away. “We just sit there, looking at each other, and crying.”
My new favorite comic.
Stick-Gods of Egypt
(It looks precisely like the train wreck I was expecting back when they first announced the movie. Heck, I almost feel bad wasting a comic about it…but folks were asking, and of course Set would have fun with it for the sake of sowing chaos and ruffling Horus’ feathers. On a lighter note, if this looks familiar, it should!)
A++++ would buy from again.
Hovertext: You think this hair curls itself? Huh? You think pony shoes grow on a fucking tree? Jesus Christ, Todd. I thought you were smart. But, you're just like all the others.
Sleeping kittens. Upper East Side ASPCA