Matt.weiland

Lindsay: He had such perfect teeth. It was that Glisten.
G.O.B.: He swore by that Glisten.
Lindsay: I can still hear him now. “Who left the cap off my [bleep]ing Glisten?”

Good Grief - 2x04

submission by Claire Hummel

@thesimpsonstattoo

@thomsontattoos "as a matter of fact......" #thesimpsonstattoo #thesimpsons #simpsonstattoo #Simpsons #tattoo #moe #inked #tat #tattyslip #simpsonsfan #homer #bart #lisa #maggie #marge #mattgroening #futurama #cartoontattoo #cartoontats #epictattoo #simpsonstat

2541  254

#tat, #simpsonstat, #bart, #thesimpsons, #thesimpsonstattoo, #simpsons, #simpsonstattoo, #futurama, #cartoontattoo, #marge, #mattgroening, #moe, #homer, #tattoo, #simpsonsfan, #epictattoo, #inked, #tattyslip, #cartoontats, #maggie, #lisa,

»WEBSTA

A recent clip from Sesame Street parodies the popular online trend of unboxing videos by having Cookie Monster unbox his lunch and describe the process in detail.

New York City-based artist Dyna Moe (previously) has created wonderful illustrated scenes showcasing the first half of AMC‘s seventh season of Mad Men. The full series of Moe’s stylized artwork from season seven and earlier is available to view on her Mad Men Illustrated blog. The first of the final seven episodes of Mad Men airs April 5, 2015 on AMC.

images via Mad Men Illustrated

submitted via Laughing Squid Tips

Saeed Adyani for Netflix

Well, we finally have an answer to what Bob Odenkirk, David Cross, and the Mr. Show gang are up to! After teasing everyone with a Twitter group shot at the end of 2014, and Bob Odenkirk later confirming that while they weren’t resurrecting Mr. Show, it turns out they were working on some sort of new sketch-comedy project.

According to Variety, Netflix (it’s always Netflix!) has picked up four episodes of a half-hour sketch comedy series, With Bob and David, as well an an hour-long “making of” special. Here’s the plot description: “After being dishonorably discharged from the Navy Seals, Bob and David are back serving the U.S. in the way they do best: making sketch comedy.”

I wonder how they’ll format this. Will it be pseudo-reality with Odenkirk and Cross playing exaggerated versions of themselves with sketch comedy peppered in? Or will be some kind of mockumentary?

Either way, I’m sure whatever it is will be wonderful. The premiere date has not been announced yet, but you can expect With Bob and David sometime later this year.

Source: Variety

The Sixth Sense | 1999 | dir. M. Night Shyamalan

Getty Image

With more than a trillion or so insanely loyal fans on Facebook, Vin Diesel is easily one of the most beloved actors working in show business today. In fact, it’s strange that more actors aren’t openly gushing over how cool and calm he is at all times, begging to work with the star of the Fast and Furious franchise steamroller that is poised to earn just about every penny on Earth when it opens this weekend. Agents should be fired left and right when actors and actresses demand roles alongside Diesel and his crew of action car porn enthusiasts, and that theory should be on full display when it comes time to expand the cast of Fast and Furious 8.

Right at the front of the line is Dame Helen Mirren. That’s not a joke. The woman who has most recently honed her action skills with Bruce Willis in the RED franchise not only wants to play the villain in Fast and Furious 8, but she wants to do her own driving stunts, too.

My great ambition is to be in a Fast and Furious movie. I so want to be a mad driver in a Fast and Furious movie. My claim to fame is I always do my own driving — I was on Top Gear, and I did [my lap] in a very good time. I keep putting it out there, and they never ask me. I’ll be in Fast and Furious 8. I have to say Vin Diesel is brilliant. I love Vin Diesel. He’s a great guy, smart — I love him. It’s partly because of him I’d like to be in one, but also the driving. I’d also love to do another Red-type movie, because those are such fun to do. (Via Yahoo! Movies)

While I don’t have the first clue what happens in Furious 7, the easiest idea for Mirren would be playing Jason Statham’s mom. Forget the pissed off, badass brother coming out of the shadows to avenge his brother’s death. This time, mum is gonna make Dom and his crew pay for killing her sons. And, if there’s time, we can squeeze in a bikini scene. She doesn’t even need the body double.

Christopher Plummer’s Secret to Long Life: “Hard Drinking”

Getty Image

Remember back on Christmas last year when Dustin Diamond was arrested for carrying a concealed weapon, and we later discovered that he allegedly stabbed someone at a bar with that concealed weapon? Well! The fun didn’t start there, apparently, because according to new testimony that Diamond’s lawyer is trying to exclude from trial (for obvious reasons), Diamond and his fiance were patronizing yet another bar prior to the stabbing incident, and at this other bar, he allegedly threatened to — you guessed it — stab someone.

But that’s only half of the beauty of the story. The reason why he allegedly threatened to stab someone earlier that night was for refusing to drink a Smirnoff Ice. See, there is an actual thing called “icing” where you creatively prank someone by presenting them with a bottle of Smirnoff Ice and then tell them “you’ve been iced.” That person then has to drink the Smirnoff Ice. It’s unclear if the person normally gets stabbed for not drinking the Smirnoff Ice.

According to the Milwaukee Wisconsin Journal Sentinel, the whole thing went down like this:

According to [Ozaukee County District Attorney Adam] Gerol’s motion, Paul Rogers and his brothers were watching a basketball game at The Patio Bar & Grill on Dec. 25 when Diamond, 37, came up to one of the brothers with a bottle of Smirnoff Ice and announced, “You’ve been iced. Get on your knees and drink this.”

The man declined but Diamond persisted, until Rogers told him to back off.

A few minutes later, according to Rogers, Schutz approached his brother and said, “Just drink it.”

Again the man refused, allegedly prompting Diamond to walk to the middle of the bar and say words to the effect of, “Don’t make me stab someone on Christmas.” Rogers says he and his brothers thought Diamond had a knife, though they did not see one. They decided to leave the bar.

Chekhov’s gun, meet Screech’s switchblade. If Dustin Diamond says he’s going to stab someone in the first act, he’s definitely going to stab someone by the third act. Allegedly.

Last month we published several rumors about Spacey’s behavior toward men. We got an earful from his fans, whose general argument was: Everyone knows already, and Spacey likes his privacy—so why are you bringing that up? But it appears that the actor is not as circumspect, or genteel, as these reactions suggest. To the young men he encounters, in fact, Spacey may be one of the most aggressive and boundary-challenged players in Hollywood.

Read more...

A St. Patrick’s Day segment on WGN went completely sideways over the weekend when a woman, for some reason, took a grinder to her lady parts. The reporter on scene had no clue what was going on beforehand saying, “I’m not entirely sure what it is but it involves a power tool.”

Um sir, there’s a large piece of metal strapped around her nether regions. What did you think was going to happen?

If you listen closely in this Vine you can hear WGN’s anchor telling them to cut away. But nah, too late. She had already gone spread eagle in front of the kids.

Won’t someone please think of the children?

Look at little Timmy in the background you guys. Kid just learned a whole lot about life (and the birds and the bees) today.

YouTube

itscarororo:

shining-magically:

WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH BEAST’S LAUGH HERE AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO ALWAYS NOTICES THIS

maybe it’s just because it’s 2am but i have never laughed so hard

Warning: This video contains some minor Final Fantasy XV spoilers.

Final Fantasy XV certainly looks impressive, what with its huge, beautiful world, crazy creatures and slick-looking battle system, but what about magic? Magic has almost always been a major part of Final Fantasy, and we know it will be a party of Final Fantasy XV, but we haven’t seen much evidence of it so far.

Well, fans have been digging into the new Final Fantasy XV demo that just released today, and they found all sorts of things, including the game’s first summon. Of course, summons are the extra powerful spells that call on legendary creatures to help you in battle.

The Final Fantasy XV summon players have discovered can be activated once your main character is low on health, and it’s absolutely nuts. It basically calls on God himself (who looks to be around 1,000 feet tall) to rain down destruction upon your enemies. Yeah.

If you want to get in on the Final Fantasy XV action, a code for the demo comes with the purchase of Final Fantasy Type-0 HD.

via Kotaku

AMC released a new video series called Last Round With The Cast featuring Mad Men’s core cast members discussing the series in an intimate roundtable setting. Jon Hamm, Vincent Kartheiser, John Slattery, Christina Hendricks, and Elisabeth Moss are all featured in these clips as they reminisce about each of their characters’ journeys over the show’s 7 seasons. The above video shows Jon Hamm discussing Don Draper‘s downward spiral as the his life, family and world crumbles around him.

The rest of the videos are below:

Vincent Kartheiser talks about Pete Campbell’s character transformation after 10 years of the world kicking him in the face over and over:

John Slattery discusses Roger Sterling’s growth in the workplace as well as with the women in his life:

Christina Hendricks touches on Joan’s achievements in overcoming the obstacles she’s faced:

Elisabeth Moss discusses Peggy’s journey from being Don Draper’s awkward secretary to becoming Sterling Cooper & Partners’ copy chief:

AMC will begin airing the final 7 episodes of Mad Men on April 5th.

(H/t: Wall Street Journal / AMC)

If you ever watched 10 Things I Hate About You and thought, "Damn... Heath Ledger," followed by, "Huh, I wish that guy playing the high school villain would explain to me the healing powers of crystals," well today's your day: former teen heartthrob Andrew Keegan is an honest-to-goodness religious leader.

Read more...

Here at Walt Disney Parks & Resorts, we’re always making investments to exceed your expectations – whether it’s creating new attractions and entertainment or making existing experiences even better.

One of the things we’ve heard from our guests is that a visit to Walt Disney World Resort just isn’t complete without enjoying the spectacular views at Soarin’ in Epcot or a spin through Toy Story Mania! at Disney’s Hollywood Studios. Well, I’m excited to share that we are expanding both attractions by adding another theater at Soarin’ and more midway track at Toy Story Mania! We’ll also be updating the screens and projection system at Soarin,’ bringing a visually enhanced experience.

These expansions are expected to be complete by late 2016, offering even more opportunities for you to enjoy these beloved attractions during your Walt Disney World Resort vacation.

More Opportunities to Soar, Enjoy Toy Story Mania Coming to Walt Disney World Resort by Thomas Smith: Originally posted on the Disney Parks Blog

Sir Ian McKellen (previously) stars as Sherlock Holmes in Mr. Holmes, an upcoming film that portrays the legendary detective in his twilight years, battling dementia but still at work on his final case with the help of a young protégé to guide him along the way. The film was directed by Bill Condon (previously) and is based upon the excellent 2005 novel A Slight Trick of the Mind written by Mitch Cullin.

Mr. Holmes is set to premiere in the summer of 2015.

images via Mr. Holmes

via Sir Ian McKellen

Geico has launched new funny and creative ads designed specifically for YouTube that they are calling “unskippable.” The ads essentially put all the important information in the first five seconds, which YouTube forces viewers to watch before giving them the option to skip over the ad.

After the five-second mark, the ads turn into absurd freeze frames with the actors holding still and trying to keep that pose despite what happens around them. Viewers can skip through those parts of the ads, but they’re funny enough that people might want to stick around through the end.

One ad features a family at dinner, but when they freeze the family dog jumps into the scene and wreaks havoc. The other ad shows two friends who become trapped in a mid-air high five.

via Ad Week

Getty Image

No stranger to portraying a bushy mustached curmudgeon with strong political views who loathes most things about the modern world on TV, Nick Offerman will take on the role of literature’s most famous bushy mustached curmudgeon with strong political views who loathes most things about the modern world on stage in an upcoming theater production of A Confederacy of Dunces.

Reports the Boston Globe:

None other than Nick Offerman will star in the Huntington Theatre Company’s production of “A Confederacy of Dunces,” which has been adapted by Jeffrey Hatcher from the Pulitzer Prize-winning 1980 novel by John Kennedy Toole. The show, to be directed by David Esbjornson, will run Nov. 11-Dec. 13 at the Huntington’s mainstage, the BU Theatre.

As a long-time superfan of the book, I’m excited by this development. Rumors about a film adaptation of Dunces have circulated for years without anything coming of it, with people like John Belushi, Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis all reported to have been considered for the role of Ignatius J. Reilly, the book’s blustery protagonist, at various points. I don’t think it’s a stretch at all to say that those of us who treasure the book are almost unanimously pleased by these non-developments, as Hollywood would surely f*ck it up royally. It’s just not a book that translates easily to the screen.

But stage adaptations are another thing, and I’m personally not opposed to the idea. And when you stop and think about, Offerman seems to be a fantastic fit. He’s a classically trained theater actor and it’s easy to hear him perfectly delivering lines like, “I mingle with my peers or no one, and since I have no peers, I mingle with no one.” Hell, I could easily hear those words coming out of Ron Swanson’s mouth.

So I guess I’ll be going to Boston in November or December to see a play!

CBS

To put Two and a Half Men‘s longevity into context, Chuck Lorre’s most bitter and hateful sitcom premiered nearly two months before Arrested Development, which has only fit four seasons into Men‘s twelve. That is not fair. But our long, national Ashton Kutcher nightmare finally came to an end last night, not with a bang but with a piano falling on the head of “Charlie.” Not Charlie Sheen, mind you, but “Charlie,” played by an actor who kind of looks like him from behind.

CBS

The actual Charlie Sheen didn’t show, but Lorre did, appearing in a director’s chair in front of the smashed piano. He turns to the camera and says “winning,” before a piano crushes him, too. THE END. No, seriously, that’s the final scene, minus the title card.

CBS

Imagine if Two and a Half Men was your Parks and Rec, which is also coming to an end. I would be so pissed. Not about the finale, but that I’m a Two and a Half Men fan. That can’t be easy.

Sky TV enlisted a team of puppet makers to create a life-like eight-foot-long polar bear, which it then let loose on the streets of London, courtesy of a pair of puppeteers who previously worked on the stage show, War Horse. The bear was created to promote Sky Atlantic’s new Icelandic crime thriller, Fortitude.

images via Sky TV

via The Presurfer

Vince Mancini

As you might imagine, you meet some interesting characters at the AVN Awards and AEE Expo, the Comic-Con-style exhibition dedicated to all things porn. I was there last weekend, my second year in a row. It’s been something of an enduring fascination for me to see who some of these people are who pay to hang out in an airplane hangar full of porn stars. I’ve always wanted to find out more about them, what brings them here, what’s going on in their lives. At the same time, I’m a little shy, and frankly, most of them scare me. But I saw Flashman here standing outside the Pink Taco (of course) and he seemed like an open book.

FILMDRUNK: [Looking at name badge] So you’re Flashman? [Brilliant deduction, me]

FLASHMAN: Yes.

Is that a persona? How long have you been Flashman?

It’s my 20th year here and I booked 186 girls, and I made a lot of money, and the world is terrific. Flashman porn, I made 7.7 million and never got in trouble with IRS. If you go to Flashman Porn the first three pictures are me.

http://www.flashmanporn.com

And then when you say “booked”–

I booked them for movies and we do Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, all the parties. The world is terrific when you’re making money.com.

So, you book them for parties, or how does that work?

Yes. They pay me and porn stars all we can drink, all we want to eat, and they give us about $500 to $2,000 to show up at the parties, dress wild, the girls show their tits and we all get drunk and we walk up to people like Robert Leach and Howard Stern and Ringo Starr and we go, “What’s happening!?”

So how did you get into the business of dressing wild and going to parties?

I have no I idea. In 1995, I moved to Beverly Hills, I retired. I’m getting close to 70, and I hung out at the Rainbow Bar on Sunset Strip with Elton John and Bowie. I slept with Angela Bowie, he married Iman though so I was cool, and that was in the early 70s when I moved to Beverly Hills, Hollywood.

How does this year compare to past years as someone who’s been here for the last 20?

It was much better in the 90s and around the early 2000s, but it’s gotten a lot better this year than it was when it sagged a little bit. The economy’s come back.

Why has it gotten better, just because of the economy?

The economy, and the girls look younger to me.

What was the best year and why?

1995, my first year when I was… 18 years old, I am 38 now [winking at me], and it was at the Sahara Hotel and Jenna Jameson, Ron Jeremy looked young, and it was fantastic.

Doesn’t he still look young?

He is here tonight and he is doing it. We call him the Hedghog. He is a Jewish boy like me, surreal life from New Jersey. He was with Tammy Barker and Vanilla Ice Ice Baby. [Editor’s Note: Amazingly, I don’t believe he was making this part up.]

Who is your favorite pornstar of all time?

It might be Jenna Jameson. She went to Clark High School. I met her when she had ‘A’ cup, no tits, she was dancing at the Crazy Horse in Vegas. Then she got her boobs done, blond hair, she made $25 million in 2005, Club Jenna.

Awesome, thank you.

You are a great man, thank you.

—

Vince Mancini

Vince Mancini is a writer and comedian living in San Francisco. You can find more of his work on FilmDrunk, the Uproxx network, the Portland Mercury, the East Bay Express, and all over his mom’s refrigerator. Fan FilmDrunk on Facebook, find the latest movie reviews here.

HBO

UK book retailer Waterstones, courtesy of UK’s Harper Collins, posted George R.R. Martin’s original outline for his A Song of Ice and Fire series yesterday. The link seems to have since been pulled, but Variety managed to see it beforehand and revealed several key differences between what George R.R. Martin’s original plan for the book series was, and what actually happened.

Here’s a brief rundown of the key changes. Some of these are very different, and some potentially suggest plot turns that could, theoretically, still come. In other words, the differences reveal possible SPOILERS for both the book series and the television series, should either/or ultimately head in the direction of Martin’s original outline in the future.

1. The most surprising one was a love triangle between Arya Stark, Jon Snow, and Tyrion. In the original outline, Jon Snow fell in love with his half-sister, Arya, and that love was reciprocated. Their love was “tortured,” however, because of Snow’s celibacy pledge as a Night Watchmen (at least until Jon Snow’s true parentage was revealed in the final book).

2. In the original outline, Robb Stark is killed on the battlefield in a showdown with Joffrey, who is maimed in the battle, which was the powder keg in the war between the Houses. It is Joffrey’s uncles, Jamie and Tyrion, however, that ultimately killed Robb Stark. Tyrion then burned Winterfell to the ground.

3. So fed up with the antics of Joffrey, Tyrion has him “removed” from the crown. Jamie Lannister then kills everyone ahead of him who has a claim on the throne and takes it over, blaming all the murders on Tyrion, who is exiled.

4. In exile, Tyrion switches allegiances to the Starks and decides to help them defeat his brother, Jamie. However, in doing so, he falls in love with Arya. The Imp and Jon Snow end up in a rivalry for Arya’s affections (Arya does not reciprocate Tyrion’s affections, however.)

5. In Martin’s original vision, Daenerys kills Khal Drago in order to avenge the death of her brother, Viserys (instead of being grateful that Drago killer her brother). After killing Drago, she flees into the wilderness, and discovers the dragon eggs. In that version of events, Daenerys launched a war against Westeros in the second novel, while the final book in the series would’ve featured a war against the Others and a climactic final battle at the Wall.

6. Originally, Sansa was supposed to have sold out her family, married Joffrey and borne him an heir (she would later regret doing so).

7. While Ned Stark’s death happens just as he did in the actual novels, afterwards, Catelyn, Arya and Bran seek refuge at the Wall, but Jon Snow is forced to turn them away. They are later captured by Mance Rayder. Catelyn Stark is ultimately killed by an Other (there is no mention of a Red Wedding).

8. It had always been intended for Jon Snow to become Lord Commander.

9. Arya, Bran, Jon, Tyrion, and Daenerys are the five characters who were originally intended to survive the series

Source: Variety

Jurassic World

In the spirit of such pre-release marketing stunts such as The Blair Witch Project, Jurassic World has set up a new part of their site meant to look like “live” looks at daily life at the theme park that Richard Hammond hath wrought. The “Park Cam” is set up in various places throughout the park, like the Isla Nublar Ferry, the employee break room, the “Gryosphere Line,” pictured above, and the T. Rex Paddock, but much like the initial ride-through in the original movie, dinos are a no-show.

At least, I think they are.

Hey, after spending a few minutes clicking through these seemingly innocuous camera feeds, did something… happen?

Anyway, it’ll be cool to see if any of this footage plays out in Jurassic World when it’s released this summer. Cool if you like snuff films, at least.

Source: Badass Digest

Behind the scenes photographs capture a visit to the set of Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back by Jim Henson along with Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog of The Muppets. Henson’s frequent collaborator Frank Oz was the puppeteer and voice behind the character of Yoda in the film. Oz also voiced Miss Piggy and several other Muppet characters.

The worlds of Star Wars and The Muppets have crossed over several times. Cast members from Star Wars appeared on an episode of The Muppet Show and made several appearances on Sesame Street.

photos via Star Wars Archives

via Star Wars Archives, Imgur, SlashFilm

Things have taken an interesting turn in the saga of Randy Quaid and wife Evi. The couple are currently suing John Kerry over a United States passport issue which actually stems from the fact that they are fugitives from justice. However, the subject of the above video which has surfaced on YouTube under the account “E Quaid” is not John Kerry; but rather Village Roadshow Pictures CEO Bruce Berman, Warner Brothers Entertainment, the New York Post, and Rupert Murdoch.

Among the accusations made in Quaid’s two-minute video: that Berman “stole his house,” that the New York Post has a vendetta out to “smear [him] to high heaven with a pack of lies,” and that Warner Brothers had him falsely arrested six times by TMZ — which he states “hashtag” (while he makes air quotes) actually stands for “PMC,” or “police media corruption.”

Through this rant, Evi sits behind Randy on a bed wearing a bikini with sunglasses and thigh-high stockings — motionless without speaking — and you’re like, “Huh, that’s kind of unsettling.” But OH NO, IT GETS SO MUCH WORSE. At the end of the minute-and-a-half long rant Randy declares, “You wanna f*ck me, Rupert? Well, I’m gonna f*ck you.” He then makes Evi don a Rupert Murdoch mask and proceeds to simulate (?) doggy-style boinking with her on camera. Oh, and a dog barks at them throughout the “sex.”

The whole thing is a little disturbing, to say the least. And it should go without saying that the video is at least somewhat NSFW, so keep that in mind before viewing.

(Via Daily Mail)