I want support for ugly girls and lazy girls and girls that can’t ever get their eyeliner right. I want feminism that includes girls who are too big or too black to be on body positive blogs.
I want girls with acne scars and girls who don’t “pass” and girls with facial hair. I want girls who are, in fact, man hating lesbians. I want poor girls.
I need the girls who never took a course in gender studies but who still know the way that society treats them is bullshit.
It doesn’t feel like a revolution when we’re only showing more of the same, when we only raise up the voices of some women.
It’s almost that time of the month again — Patreon time! Please consider chipping in a buck to help keep the comics coming. You fine people are the reason I get to do this, and I thank you deeply for the opportunity.
1. Respect their need for independence and autonomy.
2. Praise and compliment them in front of others.
3. Affirm their passion and enthusiasm.
4. Encourage them to talk things through as a way of processing problems and challenges.
5. Encourage and affirm their spontaneity. Surprise them from time to time.
6. Recognise that they’re likely to be super busy and, possibly, over committed, too.
7. Allow them to try new things right away, while their enthusiasm is high.
8. Give them lots of choices and options.
9. Demonstrate your love and affection. Tell them and show them how much they mean to you.
10. Give them the opportunity to shine.
All men benefit from women’s reinforced fear of being hurt for saying no.
read it again and again
Understand that this applies even to non-sexual situations. Women are more likely to be asked for favors from coworkers. Regular “can you file this for me” / “can you cover my shift” / “can you finish up this paperwork” workplace favors. Men are less likely to return those favors. Women are more likely to be seen as “difficult to work with” if they refuse to do favors when requested. Being viewed as ungenerous has negative social and professional consequences.
So yes, even gay men benefit. All men benefit from women’s reinforced fear of being hurt, not just physically, but also socially and professionally, for saying no to anything at all.
Re: above; just in case it looks like I’m just pulling facts out of my ass, here are my sources:
Here’s an example of sexism in the media. It’s very subtle, but it’s insidious, and it’s everywhere.
Men’s washroom and women’s washroom, each with an ad in the mirror. Both ads are for the same car. However, the text is slightly changed - in the men’s, it tells you that you look a million bucks but would look even better in that car. In the women’s, it gives you concern that you’re having a bad hair day but that’d be okay if you had that car.
The men’s ad assumes you’re confident and powerful and tries to optimize that image. The women’s ad undermines your opinion of yourself and tells you how to fix it.
Black women in Pittsburgh have the lowest life expectancy rate in the United States, comparable to the life expectancy of women in developing countries
Black women are evicted at rates mirroring the incarceration of Black men; to name a few violently disproportionate statistics.
Research conducted by New Voices Pittsburgh. Statistics taken from Navigating a ‘Crooked Room’: Reflections From Black Women on Their Experiences in Progressive Spaces by Jasmine Burnett, National Black Network for Reproductive Justice
“Maybe….maybe if every man who has ever hired a trans escort, if every boy who has ever beat off to trans porn, if all the guys I and thousands of others have hooked up with via Craig’s List, if the millions who fetishize our bodies, who enjoy us on our knees in bathrooms, who press us against hotel windows, who lay with us in our beds, if the men who adore me and my sisters, but only behind closed doors, would STAND THE FUCK UP AND SPEAK OUT…maybe 21 year old women just enjoying an evening out with friends wouldn’t be beat to death.
Maybe if all of you who read this, our allies and friends and colleagues and family, would call out when others make jokes at our expense, even when we’re not around, if you’d tell advertisers and producers and journalists and writers and comics that you’re not okay with them making trans women nothing but the punchline of jokes or tragic tossaways, that you know us, that we’re not disposable….maybe groups of people would stop feeling so free to harass me and my sisters, maybe crowds wouldn’t just laugh when a man spits at me, or just watch when two young men chase me down the street yelling “shemale”…maybe if you ALL stood up and said enough, maybe a young woman just being herself wouldn’t be beat to death in the streets of the supposedly best place on earth to just be yourself.
Maybe if all the gay men who act as if equality means marriage, if all the white feminists who only serve those that look like them, if all the queers who drop “TWOC” like a shibboleth but don’t know or talk to or walk beside any actual trans women of color…maybe if all of you saw what was happening here and how your actions allow it, how every moment of silence, of waiting for people of color to start the conversation about race …maybe this child could have enjoyed a few more years of being beautiful among us.
A 21 year old was beat to death in our streets. It happened because she is a woman, and of color, and transgender. It happened because our men won’t admit they love us, because our friends aren’t speaking out against the thousand little dehumanizing actions of others, because our own “LGBT” community isn’t comfortable talking about race and class.
This has to change. Now. http://www.dnainfo.com/new-york/20130822/central-harlem/transgender-woman-dies-after-savage-beating-cops-say#video_modal_13772731841756”
Your professor will not be happy with you if he says the Stanford Prison Experiment shows human nature and you say it shows the nature of white middle class college-aged boys.
Like he will not be happy at all.
For real though. That experiment. Scary shit.
someone brought that up once and my teacher (can’t remember which one) was like
no
nonono
This reminds me of a discussion that I read once which said Lord of the Flies would have turned out a hell of a lot differently if it was a private school of young girls (who are expected to be responsible and selfless instead), or a public school where the children weren’t all from an inherently entitled, emotionally stunted social class (studies have shown that people in lower socioeconomic classes show more compassion for others).
Or that the same premise with children raised in a different culture than the toxic and opressive British Empire and it’s emphasis on social hierarchy and personal wealth and status.
And that what we perceive as the unchangable truth deep inside humanity because of things like Lord of the Flies and the Stanford Prison Experiment, is just the base truths about what happens when you remove any accountabilty controlling one social group with an overwhelming sense of entitlement and an inability to feel compassion.
^could never have put it better. bolded for emphasis.
Manslation: Despite viewing all women as vending machines where I earn sex by treating them with the most basic modicum of human decency, I will persist in thinking of myself as a “nice guy.” It does not occur to me that women who will let you purchase consent do actually exist but that sex workers require significantly more compensation from their clients than “be polite to me so that I owe you sex.” It’s inconceivable that women have sexual or romantic desires of their own or could possibly understand what it’s like to have someone they’re attracted to not be interested in them. The only reason your life has meaning is if you use it to sex me up.
Alternate manslation: I would’ve gladly let my good friend die had I known I wouldn’t get to fuck her later.
If you think that the latest video of a police officer using unnessary and deadly force on an unarrmed black person is the perfect opportunity to talk about “black on black crime”, “black fatherlessness”, blacks having abortions, or any other topic that is an attempt to blame “the black community” for what that officer did, then PLEASE BE SILENT.
If you think that the latest video of a black person being killed by police is a good prompt for a round of victim-blaming the person who is DEAD, negating the racialized context of how these stories impact all of us, or demaning “black responsibility” while simultaniously ignoring the ongoing dynamics of white supremacy, then I also request of you: PLEASE BE SILENT.
On the other hand, if you are moved by the indignity and lack of humanity displayed in these videos and don’t understand what’s going on, please ask a question. If you aren’t familiar with the history of what oppression has looked like for people of color in the US and how it continues to this day, then please ask a question. If your private relational world has a fractional number of black and brown people in it and as such, you don’t understand the DAILY experiences that we have with these issues, please ask a question.
To those that are utterly fed up with this statusquo of injustice SAY IT LOUD. If you see people around who seem to be totally uninformed about these tragedies SHARE THE NEWS. If you know of organizations and demonstrations that are aimed at putting and end to this and other forms of abuse culture INVITE SOMEONE TO ACTION. If you witness oppression DO SOMETHING. If in doing all this, you make a misstep and offend someone APPOLGIZE AND GET BACK TO WORK.
EVERYONE has a role in making our society a better place for all people - especially paying attention to those who are currently marginalized. I’d love to see some of us effectively be quiet and stop echoing the oppresive things that have been shared by media, institutions, and systems of power. I’d love to see others MAKE YOUR VOICES heard on these issues and if nothing else, influence those closest around you.
Darren can’t fix everyone; nor can your pastor, the president, a police officer, an activist, a news commentator, or that diversity training coach you really enjoyed that one time - none of them have all the answers or all the power. But YOU can impact those around you. YOU can be a peace maker. YOU can stand up where there is injustice. YOU CAN DO SOMETHING.
I think many of us who care about people are weary, but we can make a difference together if everyone does their part.
Society becomes silent when reminded that many generations ago, African Americans were barred from buying private homes and private property, even when they had enough saved up. You can’t force a people into poverty and then make fun of and blame them for being In those perdicements.
Almost five years ago, I saw some beautiful townhouses being built. I went to inquire and was not given much attention by one of the realtors present. I am Latina with dark skin and what bothered me the most was that the realtor at the time was the same. I went home and called my fiance who lived and worked about 200 miles away at the time. He wanted us to return to view the property. My fiance (now husband) is Caucasian, when we returned, the realtor was happy to speak with him and wanted to show us the model homes. My fiance refused to work with him and asked for his boss and solely communicated with him. We never had to deal with that darn realtor again and got the town-home. What was so ironic was that I had and have multiple degrees and make much more money than my husband, but when ever we are out, people (regardless of race or culture) always assume the opposite.
People don’t want to hear that though.
This is yet another instance when respectability politics is shown not to work, btw.
Not to mention the red lining that still occurs today. They specifically keep businesses out of the hoods to keep the prison pipeline going.
See the huge push in Chicago to put the presidential library anywhere but on the South Side.
all Bucky wanted to do was get some more tea and now this. Thanks a lot, Sam. You had to fuckin’ tell him, you ass.
Aggressively Progressive Steve Rogers is so what I’m here for.
STeve would unleash and be all “DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WHOOPING COUGH SUCKS?! DO YOU?! DO YOU REALLY?! ARE YOU FUCKIN’ STUPID?! BUCKY, TELL THEM HOW I BROKE TWO RIBS! TELL THEM!”
Omg, new headcanon, Beleaguered Bucky Barnes being grabbed by the shoulders and practically lifted into camera view by Steve shouting about how Bucky needs to confirm some terrible illness because no one else is alive form that time to corroborate any of Steve’s claims. Bucky shyly telling the reporters that yes, Steve did indeed have that thing adn yeah it is dangerous and Steve jumping back into frame like “I told you! I TOLD YOU IT SUCKED SHUT UP JENNY MCCARTHY!”
“AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?! POLIO!”
“Steve you never had fucking polio-”
“YEA BUT IT STILL SUCKED! KNOW WHAT STOPPED IT?! VACCINES!”
“Oh my God, Steve.”
“I DIDN’T EVNENKNOW WHAT THAT SHOT WOULD DO TO ME BUT I TOOK IT!”
“Steve, that’s… That’s not really a good argument.”
“I DON’T CARE FOX NEWS NEEDS TO STOP USING MY IMAGE!”
![kaGh5_patreon_name_and_message[1]](http://amultiverse.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/kaGh5_patreon_name_and_message1-450x198.png)
