draw stick figures. sing off key. write bad poems. sew ugly clothes. run slowly. flirt clumisly. play video games on easy. you do not need to be good at something to enjoy the act. talent is overrated. do things you like doing. it’s ok to suck
jesus christ yall dont play video games on easy oh my god
You never play a video game on easy no matter how hard it is to get through.
my least favorite thing that happens on this post is people who support it- except when it comes to the thing they’re good at
gamers say “never play on easy”
artists say “sing off key but for the love of god no stick figures”
singers say “all this but if you can’t sing keep your mouth shut”
you know what? i know your type. you’re all jerks & you’re not fun to be around.
have fun jacking off to the concept of superiority at your wet blanket convention. i’ll be over here actually enjoying myself
Seriously though, the easiest way to piss off a rich person is to own something expensive as a poor person—they literally think that they’re the only people who deserve nice things and will argue that you deserve to starve and die for it.
Three times in my life, my mom has saved up for 6-13 months to make big purchases for me.
The first, once she heard about the ps3 coming out, she starting saving. By the time my birthday rolled around, almost a year after it came out, she had bought it for me. The second time, she bought me a flat screen 30" tv from a pawn shop as a graduation gift. She wanted me to be able to comfortably see the tv/play the game she got me while I was away for school instead of using our tiny tube tv. The third time is the most recent; she asked my brother to take her to the Air Force base and use her card to buy a ps4 for me so that they could use his military discount. It was my christmas present just after the system came out.
I’ve had people from high school til now tell me that if I wanted to live or have money I’d sell all of my belongings. To wealthy people, poor people should look poor at all times. They should have bare studio apartments with blankets for a bed and wear rags and walk everywhere they go. I’m sure they’d prefer it if we didn’t have shoes too. Goodness forbid we do anything nice for ourselves or someone gives us a gift that we don’t immediately go sell. It’s infuriating and depressing all at once.
Shout out to everyone who has ever had this problem. Seriously. This just in, poor people can have nice things, we just tend to have them more rarely and without disposing of them until we absolutely have to. That luxury car is a hand-me-down, the Calvin Klein shirt is from a bin sale at Sam’s Club, and that TV was something we could only get in a tiny window of sales after Christmas, with money that had been given to us for the purpose of selecting a gift.
This shit happens fucking constantly.
God this is important and it’s also worth pointing out that THINGS…. are often affordable. phones are affordable at a discount with various plans from providers, electronics are on sale all the time, a ONE TIME purchase is often affordable.
what isn’t affordable: the rising costs of rent, the rising costs of food, car payments and car-fixing expenses if you can only afford to buy a cheap used car in the first place, a wardrobe nice enough to wear to a job interview and to the office every day after that, medical procedures and medicine if you live in the states and don’t have amazing insurance.
THINGS are often affordable. LIVING is barely affordable.
and by the way, having a smartphone and a computer is not even a luxury these days. you pretty much HAVE to have those for work/school/communication these days. they are basic necessities for anyone trying to get out of poverty.
So, I just wrote that big thing on ‘progressive’ white America’s modern view of the chattel slavery of African Americans, and I have deiced, on behalf of all white people, we need to stop lying to each other. Teachers, tour guides, even just random people, when they get asked “Was Master X nice to his slaves” or “But most slaves were treated well, right?” Need to uniformly answer “No.”
No owner ever treated a slave well. Not George Washington, Not Thomas Jefferson, not your potential ancestors, not the nice family you heard about on vacation last year. To own another human being is to not treat them well.
We have to stop lying to kids (and each other) and saying that there is a humane way to strip another human being of there right to self, to take a person and create a marketable commodity .
White Americans still benefit from the legacy of slavery, and Black American’s still suffer from it. We need to stop teaching it as an ancient quirk that left few scars because everyone was more or less happy.
It wasn’t symbiotic, it was parasitic, and we need to stop saying otherwise.
To own another human being is to not treat them well.
The “I am a piece of shit and nobody will ever love me” factoid is actually a statistical error. You are actually are fantastic and infinitely worthy of people’s company. That person you used to care about, who taught you to hate yourself by abandoning you, is an outlier and should not have been counted
this is the greatest and most positive use of a meme that i have ever seen.
its like bff necklaces but instead of “bff” theyre “im going to Fucking Destroy you”
Okay so this is definitely an appropriate gift for that special nemesis, but given the particular role of antibodies in the immune system, “you are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand” is also an apt meaning and there has never been a better time to be alive
“Kids who were in any way off the extremely narrow line of the norm were persecuted ruthlessly, and I don’t know anyone who just got over it…
“We weren’t pandered to with the myriad of diagnosed anxiety disorders of today’s kids. Naw, we just had eating disorders and mental illnesses that we suffered in secret, silence, and shame.
“For example, one of my high school friends lived in terror that the devil was trying to grab him from underground, one among a number of his quirks that in retrospect point to at least a concern for adolescent onset schizophrenia. No one was concerned. He couldn’t be convinced to stop climbing onto the roof of the school to escape the devil so he was expelled. The boy didn’t end up surviving his twenty-first summer.”
Clients’ names and personal information have been omitted to retain their privacy.
I love this comic. I love it so much.
Excuse me while I also talk a bit about Family Guy here.
I used to enjoy Family Guy. Yeah, it was crude and crass but the writing was clever. Some of the jokes were extremely funny. But as time went on, the more they started to care less. Or at least that is how I feel. And the more feminist I became and the more I learned how harmful certain ‘jokes’ are, the more I began to hate. Especially when it comes to Meg.
Meg is not a terrible charecter. She isn’t evil, she’s not a villian. Yet she gets treated like complete and utter crap because….honestly, I don’t know why! The writers say they don’t know how to write teenaged girls but I call bullcrap on that. Meg has been abused by not just Peter but her mother and brother too. Her mother, who should be trying protect her daughter, demeans her in every possible way and that is suppose to be funny. That’s the joke. Meg in pain is the joke.
And isn’t funny.
People say, “It’s just a cartoon” but we know that media influences how people think and having Meg being hurt physically and emotionally is dangerous because there are going to be people who see that and think that is okay. And the way Chris is portrayed also shows how children learn from their parents and can end up being abusers.
This comic really is fantastic
I feel like this is the spiritual sequel to Boy’s Night that none of us knew we needed but we absolutely did
Also, I feel like this brings up a pretty interesting point: Even though Hank Hill is often confused and disappointed with Bobby, he is never physically abusive towards him or anyone in the family, and is willing to show his son he loves him. Bobby may be a constant source of confusion for him, but he’s not below learning to accept his son for who he is, and given that Hank takes a lot of pride in being a red-blooded american man, when american media is so obsessed with the ideal of “comically” abusive and negligent fathers, that’s pretty damn important.
the idea of people having to be ‘useful’ is just so gross, like people do not exist to be used
having to produce something and have a use is a capitalist ideal and not an intrinsic part of humanity
just by being alive you are human and you are worth something and you can never be useless
this applies to animals as well
“Having to like DO THINGS is SO OPPRESSIVE. No one had to like DO THINGS before evil capitalism. In ancient times food, water, and shelter just existed and everything was taken care of for me”
Guess what happened to people who didn’t do things before capitalism? They died. Cause if you weren’t hunting, gathering, or useful in some aspect of nature. You were killed, died or starvation, dehydration, or exposure.
Being useful is literally part of our biology. Fucking moron. You pull some idea out of your ass because you literally don’t want to get off your ass.
I’m not saying nobody should ever do things ever, I’m saying people don;t have to produce to an arbitrary standard in order to prove their right to live
And if you really think disabled people deserve to die if we can’t ‘contribute’ or be useful in a way you approve of then congrats youre a fucking monster
actually there’s significant evidence in terms of Neolithic burials that disabled people who would not have been able to hunt for themselves (the archaeological evidence mostly shows mobility disabilities because it’s visible in the bone record) were well fed and cared for by their communities
so the “people like you would have been left to die” argument isn’t just cruel and violently ableist, it’s extremely historically inaccurate and based off of projecting modern prejudice on prehistoric cultures
sources because I’m on my laptop now!
note: in the neolithic era, a person in their 40s or 50s would be considered elderly
Our society continually propagates the myth that our ancestors’ lives were miserable, but the truth is human beings figured out how to live cooperatively and humanely a long time ago. Really the agricultural revolution fucked everything up.
Cuz clearly people only died and starved before capitalism
“biological sex is a social construct” doesn’t mean “chromosomes, anatomy, hormones, and genitalia don’t exist”. it means “these exist, but assigning roles, labels, and expectations to certain combinations of these characteristics is a social construct, and an unnecessary and pointless (actually harmful) one at that”.
I had this girl in my class and she was considered to be like really dumb. She’d ask a ton of doubts and questions in class, which everybody would consider to be “stupid"and “silly” and even the teachers would often taunt her but she’d never stop asking. But the thing was that she’d almost always top the class examinations and everyone was like???? They all thought she was cheating and stuff and obviously even the teachers were very biased because she wasn’t so ‘smart’ in class, and she was regularly accused of cheating. But nobody could prove that she was actually cheating but the whole class and teachers totally believed that she did. I’m pretty socially awkward so I never really talked to her, but she was leaving school this year and I was genuinely curious about how she was so good during exams and how she didn’t let everyone’s remarks affect her. She always used to sit and hang out with only one girl, and she told me that that friend of hers was severely socially anxious and she’d lag in studies because she couldn’t bring herself to ask doubts in class or ask for help from others. So they had this system where during lectures her friend would write down any question she had, and she would ask them for her. And I was just so touched??? Idk but it really changed the way I looked at people?? This girl endured taunts and jeers and borderline bullying for being “stupid” when she was actually really smart and could easily have refused to ask such doubts for her friend but she did?? And brushed off everything others would throw at her for her friend?? I was just, idk it just really changed me in some way.
I want Bernie to be president. But more importantly, I want Bernie to be involved in our government, in a position to make a difference. I don't see how that can happen if he burns bridges now. Also, I do not want Trump to be president.
Original Photo by Alex Hanson and used on Creative Commons license. Click on photo for original.
Bernie Sanders is not going to be president, nor is he going to be the Democratic candidate for President of the United States. To date, he has won fewer electoral contests, pledged delegates and total votes than Hillary Clinton, and in each of these cases the margins aren’t close. While it is technically possible for Sanders to close the gap with Clinton in the nine contests remaining, from a practical point of view it’s impossible. In order to pull ahead in pledged delegates, Sanders would have to win something like 70% of all remaining delegates; given that he is substantially behind in polling in California and New Jersey, the two largest remaining contests, this is extremely unlikely.
Even when Sanders wins, he doesn’t win by enough — his win in Oregon, for example, netted him only nine pledged delegates over Clinton, which leaves her 272 delegates ahead. To be clear, and as I’ve said before, Hillary Clinton doesn’t have to win any more states to win the Democratic nomination for President of the United States; all she has to do is not lose too widely. If Sanders could win all nine remaining contests — which he won’t — Clinton would still end up with an overall larger number of pledged delegates and votes, so long as the contests were close enough, close enough in this case being a margin less than 68% – 32%.
Bernie Sanders is not going to going to be president, nor is he going to be the Democratic candidate for President of the United States. I know it. Clinton knows it. Most disinterested observers know it. Sanders himself almost certainly knows it, because he is not a stupid man. He’s being beaten, fair and square, in contests, pledged delegates and vote counts, even before things like superdelegates are added into the mix. The only people who don’t seem to know it are some of Sanders’ supporters.
Or, to be more accurate, a number of Sanders’ supporters are aware he’s losing, but are under the impression that the reason he’s losing is because of nefarious action and the game being “rigged,” rather than, simply, he’s won fewer contests, pledged delegates and overall votes than Hillary Clinton. Why? Because apparently these supporters just really really really want Sanders to win, and because he isn’t ahead there has to be something else at play than more Democratic primary voters preferring Hillary Clinton to their man.
This is not to say Clinton hasn’t been the preferred candidate of the Democratic establishment all along; she clearly has been. But then again, Jeb Bush was the preferred candidate of the Republican establishment this cycle, and look where that got him. You can be the preferred candidate and still have things go south. Heck, Clinton was the establishment candidate of 2008, too — she took her campaign into June, just like Sanders plans to, and still lost, to Barack Obama. Being the establishment candidate doesn’t mean much if at the end of the day someone else wins more contests, delegates and total votes than you do.
Sanders has won fewer contests, pledged delegates and overall votes than Clinton and has done so consistently since the start of the primary season; Clinton’s been ahead in all three since February 20 and the Nevada caucus, unless you think there was some skullduggery involved there (re: this nonsense), in which case she’s been ahead since February 27. It is pretty much impossible that Clinton won’t come into the Democratic convention in Philadelphia with more pledged delegates and total votes than Sanders. Sanders’ team and his supporters are floating the idea that at the convention they will try to dislodge the superdelegates currently declared for Clinton to bring them to their side and win the candidacy that way. But this would require the superdelegates to ignore the fact that Hillary Clinton was the clearly the preferred candidate of both the overall Democratic primary voters, and won more pledged delegates than Sanders. Why would they do that? Why should they do that?
The answer for a number of Sanders supporters seems to be, basically, well,because we really really really want it,and we should get what we want. And I guess it’s nice that you really really want something, but, look: Sanders has won fewer contests, pledged delegates and overall votes than Clinton, and we don’t always get what we really really want, and sometimes you just have to suck it up and be a goddamned grown up about that fact.
And then you start thinking, well, if I can’t have this thing I really, really want, what can I have? At this point, truculent Sanders supporters, either you can have someone in the White House who voted with your preferred candidate 93% of the time when they were both in the Senate, and who generally wants most of the same things your candidate wants (albeit in slightly more establishment ways), or you can have Donald Trump, who isn’t the buffoon you think he is (or, more accurately, isn’t just the buffoon you think he is), who just released a list of potential Supreme Court candidates that reads like a wish list for the reactionary right, and who will soon have the entire apparatus of the GOP chugging away for him because the GOP would rather be in the White House with an ignorant, racist buffoon than not be in the White House at all. And while I suppose a number of you would rather be “principled” and say, my guy or let it all burn, my friends, it will indeed all burn, and you will be trapped in the fire with the rest of us.
(Yes, you can also go third party, and vote for either Jill Stein of the Green Party or Gary Johnson in the Libertarian Party, etc. Have fun! But if it gets to October and the polls are depressingly close, let the specter of Ralph Nader remind you that third party votes offered primarily for protest have consequences in our political system. Yes, that sucks. Doesn’t change the fact.)
In 2008, right around this time in the election cycle, I wrote a piece about how Hillary Clinton, who was clearly not going to be the Democratic candidate that time around, but whose team and followers were thinking of certain parliamentary calisthenics which will sound familiar to Sanders supporters right about now, should let it go. She didn’t listen, of course; she slogged on through to June. Here in 2016, Bernie Sanders is not going to be the Democratic candidate, either. He, too, should let it go. I don’t expect him to listen, either. But this time the people I want to listen are his more fevered followers. Guys, you have to get ready for him not to win. He might win concessions in the platform, which would be groovy. But that’s as far as it’s going to go. He’s not going to be president, and he’s not going to be the Democratic candidate.
And when all is said and done, there will still be the general election. It’s going to be Clinton versus Trump. You’re going to have to decide what you really want for the next four years at least. It’s going to matter what you choose. Not just for yourself but for everyone else.
“Which author would you want to bring into 2015″ is such a hard question to answer I mean you could watch Arthur Conan Doyle despair over everything Sherlock Holmes within the last century or you could present Douglas Adams with an iPad
I would quite like to unleash Dickens on the Tories.
imagine William Shakespeare in the age of social media. 24/7 supreme dick jokes and the world celebrates.
Victor Hugo vs Twitter’s 140 character limit
Okay but Oscar Wilde on Instagram
Give Asimov an actual real robot
Show Lovecraft a mixed-race president and watch him shit himself in fear and anger
Introduce Mark Twain to Stephen Colbert, preferably in front of a live audience
James Joyce discovers cake farts.
Dorothy Parker learns she was right about everything.
Vita Sackville-West does, too, and Instagrams her garden 24/7, and cosplays every character Shakespeare ever wrote.
Virginia Wolfe gets anti-depressants and lives to be 101, with a big room of her own.
