ThePrettiestOne

baawri:

Every Sexist Commercial You’ve Ever Seen [x]

gaytofugaming:

daecay:

legalizing pot is 100% worthless if we as white people aren’t going to 1. release and forgive the sentences of those thrown in jail for pot, 2. actually allow black people into the legal pot industry w the same ease white people enter it and the same ability to get rich off it, and 3. stop fucking arresting black youth, not allow it to go up by 58 fucking % 

Marijuana arrests have gone up in colorado for black and latino people http://www.vibe.com/2016/05/marijuana-arrests-colorado-skyrocket-black-latino/

bemusedlybespectacled:

theactualcluegirl:

copperbadge:

hyvetyrant:

idiopathicsmile:

pfdiva:

vulgarweed:

adramofpoison:

idiopathicsmile:

“oh hey,” she said, “it’s a really touristy area, but since you’re gonna be passing through anyway, you might as well stop by pier 29, see the dragons. also, there’s a—”

“hold on,” i said. “i knew your city had mountains, but. dragons? uh, actual living dragons?”

“dude, it’s not a big deal. they’re there all the time. of course they’re majestic and everything, but they’re loud and cranky and mostly they lie around eating garbage. now and then the city council will talk about trying to make them roost somewhere else, but—”

“dragons,” i repeated. i knew it was making me sound like a rube, but it was a lot to take in. “you live in a city that has dragons.”

“no, it’s cool, we used to go see them when i was a little kid. it’s worth doing. but that whole area is mostly dragon-themed gift shops, and the commercialization is kind of a bummer. also, sometimes a dragon will melt somebody’s car and it’s a whole problem.”

“fairytale-style, giant scaly fire-breathing dragons.”

“honestly, i forget other cities don’t have them?” she said. “there’s a few other sites on the west coast where they gather. portland calls them wyverns, but that’s a portland thing.”

“chicago’s got, like, bunnies and songbirds,” i told her, “but otherwise it’s just your typical vermin. pigeons, rats, sphinxes—”

“sphinxes? what the hell.”

“oh, yeah, they nest in the el tunnels. sometimes a fucking sphinx will flap down out of nowhere, bring the whole train to a halt until the front car answers a riddle.”

“that sounds exciting,” she said.

“it’s the worst. your train winds up being twenty minutes late, and you just have to hang out hoping somebody up there read their mythology. there’s supposed to be a program where the conductors get trained in riddling, but i don’t know. rahm emmanuel keeps saying it’s not a budget priority.”

“huh,” she said. “guess the grass is always greener and all that. but on some level, it’s nice to remember that even with all these big box stores, the country still has some variety left in it.”

“yeah, did you know that in rhode island they call water fountains ‘bubblers’?” i said.

“whoa, seriously?”

“i read it somewhere. crazy, right?”

“crazy.”

i am here for urbanized mythological creatures

Switzerland has a lot of dragons, but dragons have long since moved on from collecting gold. There’s a purply-scaley one that roosts behind the Mad Mex that refuses to stop hoarding signposts. The city uses banners for the main roads and sells a lot of maps.

Golems love cities–with their stone buildings and sidewalks. There are strict laws about what one is allowed to say to them, because golems tend to be rather literal and very obedient. There’s always one kid who thinks he knows better. He doesn’t. 

OH MY GOD THE CHICAGO SPHINXES, DON’T GET ME STARTED. Here’s the thing. When you buy your Ventra card at the machine - which is another one of Rahm’s scams, leasing that out to a private company, wtf was he thinking - it’s supposed to have the answer to the riddle on it, right? The sphinx is supposed to scan the bar code and let the train through.

that never fucking happens. Especially on the Blue Line which is down for maintenance all the time and constantly switching tracks and running shuttles, which means half the time you’ve got a sphinx that came over from the fucking Orange Line or some shit and is full of riddles that only the Irish mooks from Bridgeport understand. Or it’s in Polish only. Or it’s got a glitch that makes it stutter and if you interrupt it, it’ll get snippy and bite your head off. LITERALLY. They hush it up but it happens. Businesses lose millions from sphinx-related tardiness every year.

And then there’s a case back in ‘96 when it was proven after the fact that the “wrong” answer the Red Line Sphinx got was actually A PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE REGIONAL VARIATION but by then, the Sphinx had already eaten half a car full of drunken Cubs fans. I know, not much of value was lost there, BUT STILL.

You think SPHINXES are bad?  Detroit has imps, thousands of them, and you know what they love?  Buses.  You know the major form of public transit in Detroit is?  BUSES.  So the drivers have to literally shoo away imps at every fucking stop, making them 30 minutes late, an HOUR late, and it’s not like there’s anything you can DO, because they’re all leftover from when the car companies were big, and ALL OF THOSE FUCKERS CLOSED.

So of course there were hundreds of orphaned imps, and they kept SAYING they were going to reopen the factories, or at least get some good junkyards, but nooooooooo, they never did, so the imps just bred and bred, and now they’re all over every bus and it’s not like you can ever count on getting anywhere on time and long story short, I’d take a sphinx over imps ANY day.

yeah as someone who did high school and college in michigan and now lives in chicago, i have to say that as far as the age-old sphinxes vs imps debate goes, they’re both terrible in different ways. the imps are way more common and they probably have a wider total reach, and oh my god nothing like trying to board a bus already covered in those little suckers when said bus is already forty minutes late—

(sidenote: ugh people from bloomfield hills saying stuff like “well if i lived in detroit, i’d have the sense to carry around a nice heavy club or walking stick—” yeah dude good luck with your walking stick against two dozen imps)

but the sphinxes. let’s not, uh, sugar coat this: the sphinxes don’t just slow commuters, they kill people. and yes, if you know the riddle, you’re fine. but what if someone else offers their answer first? what if you get some overly cocky freshman philosophy major who takes it upon himself to answer for the whole car?

i think in the back of our minds, all chicagoans know that rahm emmanuel’s administration isn’t gonna lift a finger until one of the sphinxes goes after a wealthy tourist and it makes national news. and even then, we’ll get, like, flashy riddle-solving software installed in all the red line trains, and maybe the brown line, but no way is it gonna cover the whole infrastructure.

basically if you ever need to take the green line or the pink line, you wanna start studying your classical mythology and folklore fucking yesterday.

@copperbadge do puns work on Sphinxes as well as riddles?

You bet your sphinxter they do. 

(Sphinxes hate that one but they’re obliged to honor it.)

I heard they sometimes get bad Selkie problems in Monterey Bay…

It was so weird moving to the South and then to the Midwest after growing up in New England because apparently everywhere else unicorns are a big joke to people? I get it, New Hampshire has the lowest teenage pregnancy rate because we’re all a bunch of virgins, ha ha like I’ve never heard THAT one before, but seriously, you try growing perennials when every year the goddamn unicorn herd comes through and eats all your bulbs. MY BACK YARD IS NOT YOUR PERSONAL TULIP BUFFET, LIGHTFOOT.

pagerunner:

howllor:

villiljos:

futurejournalismproject:

Netflix Uses Piracy Data to Select Its Programs

Netflix chooses its programming based on what shows and movies are popular on piracy sites, Netflix’s Vice President of Content Acquisition, Kelly Merryman, told Tweakers. Netflix looks at what people are downloading and then buys the rights to the titles in highest demand.

According to TorrentFreak, Netflix CEO, Reed Hastings, suggests that offering people what they want will sway them to use Netflix instead of BitTorrent as their source of entertainment. The idea may not be far-fetched, since BitTorrent traffic in Canada dropped 50% after Netflix appeared three years ago. 

Via TorrentFreak:

“Netflix is so much easier than torrenting. You don’t have to deal with files, you don’t have to download them and move them around. You just click and watch,” Hastings says.

Image: BoingBoing

THIS. THIS IS HOW YOU BATTLE PIRACY, MEDIA MOGULS TAKE NOTE.

good work!

You mean providing content people want to watch in a cheap and easily accessible format reduces stealing??? (Personally, this is entirely accurate - i check netflix, hulu, and amazon prime before i stream something)

There are a ton of rules and exceptions in the English language that make it incredibly difficult for people learn. Here are just a few examples… [via buzzfeed]  

The post Definitive Proof That the English Language is Unnecessarily Difficult (17 Pics) appeared first on Pleated-Jeans.com.

alxbngala:

THIC FAT BABY FRENCHIES MASTER POST [X/X]

(via MartinPilgrim1)

Capitalists: Capitalism is the best system because it works by the laws of nature. Darwin! Natural selection! Only the strong survive!

Kropotkin: Actually, Darwin pointed out that in numberless animal societies, the struggle between separate individuals for the means of existence disappears, that struggle is replaced by co-operation and how that substitution results in the development of intellectual and moral faculties which secure to the species the best conditions for survival.

Capitalists: No

Darwin: Yes

salesonfilm:

themercuryjones:

Katharine Hepburn as Eleanor of Aquitaine in The Lion in Winter.

iconic

Every day I get the same anonymous message that is more or less a list of accusations leveled at Hillary Clinton phrased as a question. I think Hillary Clinton is a complicated person who has spent a great deal of time in the federal government and possibly understands it better than anyone who is not currently Barack Obama. Her opinions are well informed and similar though not-identical to mine. 

My first election was George W Bush against Al Gore in 2000. That was an election that happened after eight years of a popular democratic president and the rhetoric of that election was full of “These people are identical…just two different masks on the same corrupt face.” 

And then I watched as Al Gore lost an election he would have won were it not for Ralph Nader, and then George W Bush spent eight years getting us involved in wars that made no sense, destroying our international reputation, championing viciously anti-science perspectives, delaying the expansion of basic rights to the LGBT community, and leading our economy into the worst depression in modern history. 

So I am very sensitive to the narrative that there is only one right Democratic candidate. I don’t know who it will be and frankly I don’t care that much. I can see costs and benefits to both Bernie and Hillary, but I know I would be proud to have either of them be my president. So, basically, to the person who says nasty things about Secretary Clinton in my inbox every day I say: My only concern is that FUCKING DONALD TRUMP DOES NOT BECOME MY FUCKING PRESIDENT. That would hurt my country and my world in ways that could be irreparable. 

We’re talking about a great tipping point in history here. I understand the wish that we could all be coming together to vote /for/ something great (which is, by the way, how I will feel come November, but I understand that not all people are like me.) But nonetheless, we will all have to consider the greatness of voting against something this year. This is not Mitt Romney we’re talking about, not a successful, level-headed person with different views, we have a monumental chance to show the world what we’re made of.

Do we allow a racist, misogynist, fascist who actively derides free speech and believes that insults are the highest form of international relations to lead this country? Or do we elect one of two experienced, intelligent, leaders who believe that the United States does not need to be made great again, but that we can and must continue to make it greater.

Fuck your talking points daily asker…do you think this is a god damned game?

highway62:

philsandifer:

dazeddigital:

Bowie understood Basilisks.

He wasn’t wrong.

elodieunderglass:

medievalpoc:

I’m glad to see I’m not alone fighting the good fight on Twitter

oh are we talking about Margaret of Anjou? 

Oh I love talking about Margaret of Anjou

she was born in Lorraine, France. here’s where that is

As everyone knows, as a kid she was educated in Provence and in Italy.

History is quite clear on the fact that she married Henry in Hampshire, UK when she was a young teen

Obviously she spent a good deal of her queenship in London

things were fine in london for a bit but then

BUT OH THEN SHIT
SHIT WENT DOWN

MARGARET RODE OUT TO ATTACK SANDAL

Then shit went down EVEN HARDER, she had to flee to Scotland

dang Margaret that’s a long walk from London, hope you had a horse for some of it

anyway at the end of a long and productive life, Margaret retired to Anjou

At a very conservative estimate, she had traveled well over 6,000 km from the barest details of her biography (the castle in Capua to “Scotland” being nearly 3000 of those km, and we know for a fact that she did a lot of back and forth trips)

so the Very Accurate History of Margaret shows that over 6,000 km in a lifetime was not too much of a sweat for a Frenchwoman in the 1400s

I mean it’s nothing compared to Ibn Battuta

This is the Strait of Gibraltar, which is where you can see Spain kissing Morocco in most of these pics of Europe

at its narrowest, the separation between Europe and Africa is 14 km (9 miles) wide

But I guess for some people that is a jump too far

the perceived separation between these continents 

and cultures and people and trade

and imagination and art and history 

and creativity and trade routes

and the Chinese silks on the English queens

and the African amber on Viking lords

and the European cartographers mapping the African empires

and the African cartographers mapping Europe

is just too much

too far for history to stretch

this impassable jump 

of exactly

nine miles

kingjaffejoffer:

bitterbitchclubpresident:

fifteenfathomscounted:

I get that native Americans are upset, I get it. That being said, this country would NOT be what it is today if the actions of our past were not taken

What do you mean by that

They mean Native Americans should feel grateful that 90% of their population was exterminated because the remaining 10% get to live in poverty on reservations while everyone else gets to enjoy Starbucks and Amazon Prime and pretend our military isn’t terrorizing the rest of the world so we can live in a protective bubble of ignorance. 

heyitsharding:

laurentvonvere:

shout out to the kids that are compulsive liars because that was the only way to stay safe at home

shout out to the kids that have trouble expressing themselves because they were punished every time they were upset

shout out to the kids that question everyone’s intentions with them because they associate everything with their past abuse

shout out to the kids that can’t get rid of all the Unhealthy and Bad™ coping mechanisms they picked up at home

shout out to the kids that still feel love and affection for their abuser(s)

shout out to the kids that will never be well-adjusted and are okay with that

shout out to those of us that don’t fit the Good Abuse Survivor model; our experiences are real and no one has the right to tell us how to react to abuse. i love you all a lot and know that you are never alone 💜

Massively this. And as a final note:

As a loving and loved adult, you can be all of the above and still wind up whole, and good. Just as you are. All of these things, and more.

sourcedumal:

fettyhurts:

lavendersucculents:

kimreesesdaughter:

GO OFF SIS 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾Read it and then read it again.

“The Most Disrespected Person in America is the Black woman.“👊🏾✊🏿

And yall wonder why black women are angry.

This is why respectability politics, mean nothing. Michelle followed the respectability politics yall laid out for us to a Tee (be educated, be a “good” mother, be a supportive wife, dress modestly, always have your hair done, set a good example, respect yourself first), and the world STILL shames and disrespects her like this.

But keep telling us how the problem is that we wear weave. Keep telling us how the problem is that we act like hoes. Keep telling us that the problem is we don’t “respect” ourselves. Keep telling us that the problem is we’re too strong, we don’t know how to follow behind our man. Keep telling us that the problem is how we carry ourselves instead of just admiting that this world hates black women regardless of what we do.

This so much.

karaehl:

karaehl:

40+ year old men who seriously believe the young girls working at stores and restaurants are actually flirting with them just because the girls smile and are friendly are the most disgusting and terrifying things on this planet.

i keep getting messages from men over the age of 40 who were upset by this post and i’d like to sincerely thank them for proving my point so effortlessly. 

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

brookietf:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

fuckingflorida:

rnaiden:

they could be a gator

i can confirm that everyone i’ve met in florida is a gator

“HOW DARE U

WOULD A GATOR WEAR SUCH A FANCY SWEATER”

Moss sweaters are all the rage in Florida.

Very fashionable sweaters!

vaspider:

painandcats:

- Acting like marijuana literally cures every malady on this planet.  It’s a wonderful resource, but it’s not a miracle plant.  It’s ONE therapy that helps people.

- Acting like there’s some binary between “patients who use mmj” and “IGNORANT OLD PILL POPPING ADDICTS LOL.”  Like…go fuck yourself: mmj proponents fought SO HARD to not be seen as “addicts,” “stoners,” “losers,” so to see this same bullshit being thrown at patients who use other therapies besides mmj is totally unacceptable.  I’ve seen DISPENSARIES post these shitty little comics with a teenager using mmj, and, OF COURSE, an old cranky woman in a chair surrounded by empty pill bottles.  Oh see lol it’s because people who take pills are addicts and ignorant, right??  Weed’s the best lol!  Basically if you subscribe to this line of thinking 1) go fuck yourself; 2) unfollow me.

- Stop treating every body the same.  Some bodies don’t respond to mmj well.  What does that mean?  It means their bodies don’t respond to mmj well: it doesn’t mean “they haven’t found a good strain,” it doesn’t mean “they’re doing it wrong,” and it doesn’t mean you know more about their body than they do.

- Telling people in prohibition states to “just move to OR/CO/MI/AZ/etc.!”  People did this to me during the DOMA days when I wanted to get married, and I hear it for all sorts of other state-regulation issues.  Most people can’t just up-and-leave their home because their legislators in that state make bad decisions.

- Basically I’m just gonna reiterate to stop shitting on chronic pain patients and the chronically ill by treating us like addicts for our non-mmj drug therapies.

Please add more.

- Stop talking down to people who want mmj to use as a combination therapy with other medications. News flash: I am still going to have to take my opioids after MMJ is available in my state (it is technically legal now but there are no dispensaries yet). I want mmj as an option in an arsenal to keep me working and moving. It is not, as above, the cure-all. I still need the other options; mmj just adds another option. 

- Stop dismissing the legit concerns of people who have things like celiac over whether or not edibles are 100% gluten-free. No, I’m not a trendy hipster and who fucking cares if I was? I deserve to know what I’m putting in my body. If you think it’s okay for a prep space to be potentially contaminated with allergens, the problem is not me, it’s you.

suddenlycomics:

fallingivy:

Okay, I want a superhero story in which the superhero is one of those ‘normal kid gets superpowers through freak accident’ and goes out and fights crime, and of course runs into the supervillain at some point and tries to take them down. And the villain, a couple minutes into the fight, realizes they’re fighting a literal child and just has an internal freak-out about this new development. Because, fine, I’ve got plans to steal all of the world’s largest gems and I’m generally not a nice person, but holy fuck there’s a kid coming at me. This is a kid. I can’t with this.

So the supervillain instead of trying to kill/hurt their nemesis goes through all these complicated plans to trap them or put them to sleep or stick them in a large tank or something so they can go ahead with it. Sometimes it works and the supervillain spends a harried half hour lecturing the superhero about maybe going to school and being safe instead of doing this, that would be nice. 

The supervillain staying up at night occasionally wondering if the tiny superhero is out there trying to get themselves killed right this moment. The supervillain sending supervillain henchmen ninjas out to tail the superhero and help out if it ever looks like the superhero is going to get killed. The supervillain takes to pacing around and muttering to themselves occasionally about PARENTING and RESPONSIBILITY and how they never signed up for this shit. Actually petitioning their version of the Justice League to have someone step in and do something about this, that kid has to be like twelve and what is everyone thinking???? Bonus points if the kid has no parents and the villain finds this out and spends a night internally screaming about it.

Basically I want a supervillain unwittingly becomes the super worried parent of the kid who is actively trying to foil their every plan and topple their evil regime.

@editoress

cumaeansibyl:

people talking about “forced diversity” like characters being PoC or LGBT or disabled “for no reason” like

are people in real life PoC or LGBT or disabled for a reason

do these critics run up to people on the street like WHY ARE YOU BLACK

Also:

Shonda Rhimes: We Need a New Word for ‘Diversity’

Shonda Rhimes Says She Isn’t ‘Diversifying’ Television, She’s ‘Normalizing’ It – There’s A Difference

Shonda Rhimes Says She’s Done Discussing Diversity on TV: ‘THIS IS NOT THE JIM CROW SOUTH’

drxgonfly:

GET IT? HE’S EXPERIMENT 626

this video doesn’t have subtitles and the lowest volume on my speakers is still too loud

Rachel Lears' new documentary The New Fight for Voting Rights opens with a montage of election lawn signs, the "I Voted" stickers passed out at polling locations, and the voice of the Rev. Dr. William J. Barber II, the president of the North Carolina NAACP, saying, "The right to vote is a right dipped in blood, paid for by the death and the sacrifices."

Barber is part of a chorus of civil rights leaders, politicians, community organizers, and regular citizens speaking out about voting rights in North Carolina in the wake of a 2013 law that imposed sweeping restrictions on voting. The law, passed by the state's Republican legislature after the Supreme Court gutted a key portion of the Voting Rights Act, created a voter ID requirement, reduced early voting from 17 days to 10, eliminated same-day registration, and killed a program that preregistered 16- and 17-year-olds to vote. It also prevented ballots from being counted if they were cast in the wrong precinct.

In late April, a federal judge upheld most of those restrictions, putting North Carolina on the front lines of the national battle for voting rights. Although a group of civil rights groups has appealed the decision, the rules could stay in place for the November elections.

Lears hopes her five-minute film can help raise awareness about what's happening not only in North Carolina, but across the country, where 17 states will have new voting restrictions in place for the November general election. "The fight for access to the ballot is not a new thing in this country," says Lears, a Brooklyn-based filmmaker who brings an anthropological background to her work. "Most of us assume that the battle was won decades ago."

Lears and her husband, Robin Blotnick, co-directed The Hand That Feeds, an award-winning, full-length documentary in 2014 that showcased the efforts of low-wage workers trying to secure basic employment rights. For Lears, the voting rights project is significant because it highlights an issue that touches every facet of American politics and society.

"There isn't any other issue nationally that isn't affected by the right to vote and choose elected officials from the local to the national level," Lears says. "If what you care about is police accountability, health care, economic inequality, foreign policy—expanding access to the ballot will make the country more democratic."

The New Fight for Voting Rights is part of the Take 5: Justice in America series, a collection of five short films commissioned by AMC Networks' SundanceNow Doc Club, the network's curated documentary on-demand service that will stream for free online. The pieces are all live at TAKE5.docclub.com.

The network commissioned the pieces to focus on a "significant and widely debated social justice issue," according to a statement released by AMC, and it hopes the short films that focus on gentrification, the criminal justice system, the working poor, and easy access to guns will be more sharable than longer works.

yeahdollface:

scarymerry:

to my friends and family who deal with self-harm

EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ THIS

editorincreeps:

witch-of-the-diaspora:

damned-to-be:

meltdraw:

geostatonary:

sixpenceee:

“A house I pass on the way to work has this sculpture in its yard. Its about 8 feet tall.”

(Source)

“HELLO NEIGHBOR STEVE, I WOULD LIKE TO INVITE YOU TO BARBEQUE ON THE EVE OF THE BLOOD MOON.  I FEEL WE GOT OFF TO A BAD START.”

“NEIGHBOR STEVE, DO YOU NOT WISH TO PARTAKE OF THE UNCLEAN FLESH-MEATS OF PIGS AND THE POLLUTED ESSENCES OF TOMATO?  PERHAPS YOU ARE A CAROLINA STYLE MAN, NEIGHBOR STEVE?”

“PUT THE GUN AWAY NEIGHBOR STEVE, YOU KNOW I SHALL ONLY RISE AGAIN WITH THE DAWNING OF THE MOON.  WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS MANY TIMES.”

“LOOK AT THIS PICTURE MY SON DREW OF YOU AND CHILD TIMMY, YOUR SON.  ARE THEY NOT THE PICTURE OF PACT-MATES?  THIS COULD BE YOU AND ME, NEIGHBOR STEVE.”

“YOU MISSED THE UNHOLY NEXUS OF POWER THAT IS THE KEY TO MY CORPOREAL FORM, NEIGHBOR STEVE.  YOU WILL NEED TO RELOAD NOW, SO I WILL GO INSIDE TO MY HELL-WIFE AND PUT YOU DOWN AS A SOLID ‘MAYBE’.“

Drew a comic thing of the neighbors.

I can’t believe this has finally happened. Someone actually managed to make this post better

@editorincreeps isn’t this one of your distant relations?

Ol’ Luke is misunderstood and terrifying. But It is good people.

medievalpoc:

I’m glad to see I’m not alone fighting the good fight on Twitter