The director, during the director’s commentary, makes a point of informing the audience that the female blacksmith character is historically accurate, and that widows of blacksmiths did in fact take over their late husbands’ blacksmithing businesses in medieval Europe and it was one of the relatively rare circumstances wherein women were permitted to legally run their own businesses in medieval Europe.
This is literally the only historically accurate detail in the entire movie.
I don’t even know. It’s from a book about languages my friend’s been reading. (it’s creepy that I can understand it …)
It was actually invented with that purpose: anyone who spoke any European language should be able to understand esperanto. It was meant to be a lingua franca.
STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING Y’ALL AND TELL ME IF YOU UNDERSTAND THIS
I’ve gotten so used to reading science in other languages that this seemed perfectly fine to me, for far too long :<
I laughed at loud at BSE (since we are now 20 years out from 1997, BSE = “mad cow disease" - in 2017 tumblr people say “am I having a stroke” for the same purpose)
I don't think I'd be able to erase that. I'd probably do something drastic like get a second chalkboard that I wheel into the classroom every day.
Chalkboard art has an interesting textural quality that makes it look quite different than other mediums, and while other mediums are prized for being colorfast and long lasting a chalk drawing can be erased in an instant.
This ephemeral beauty is part of what makes chalk drawings so special, and no matter how much time an artist puts in to creating their chalk drawing they know the board will be wiped clean in the end, their masterpiece strictly temporary.
A group of high school students from the Heep Yunn School in Hong Kong who call their art group Illusdreamer spend hours creating these massive and amazing chalk art tableaus knowing they'll be wiped away whenever their teacher needs to use the board again.
i like how when people say “i love couples with size difference” they mean tiny girls with waists so thin the large men they are dating can put their entire hand around them and by love i mean where the FUCK are my tiny vain princes and their huge muscular knight women who don’t put up with any of their shit and hoist them over their shoulders and walk off when they’re having a princely temper tantrum you’re all WEAK
The rest of the tales are not very interesting but I love that the book was "On Various Angles" instead of "On Various Angels". That's pretty inspired and now I have to figure out how to work that into my game.
The newest member of my student pathfinder group just rolled his first critical failure today. He was looking for a book about celestial beings, so I had him roll a Knowledge Religion check. I told him he found a decent looking book entitled “On Various Angels”. As soon as he got out of town, I informed him that the book he bought was actually called “On Various Angles” and was all about geometry.
He was pretty upset, so I explained to him that failure is occasionally a part of the game and that everyone has to deal with it. Then I had the other players tell him about their most memorable crit fails, and this is what they each said:
Barbarian: I once failed an Intimidate Check. Instead of shouting “I AM THE BADDEST BARBARIAN” I shouted “I AM THE BIGGEST BABY!”
Druid: I failed a Perception check so badly that I accidentally walked face first into the barbarian’s armpit and passed out from the smell.
Fighter: I once shot myself in the foot. With a poisoned arrow.
Rogue: I once fell in love with an illusion that was made by an Aboleth.
Sorcerer: I was on guard duty and got so distracted I accidentally burned myself. And then we were attacked by wolves. (Important Context: The sorcerer is naturally fire resistant, so this one was almost impressive).
Wizard: There’s a reason I just got a new familiar.
I managed to dramatically leap into a knot of enemies and thoroughly miss with all three of my attacks that turn, only to have every other non-melee character take out everyone around me. I spent the rest of the fight running up to enemies and reaching them just in time to watch them die at the hands of another party member. #fighterfail
Me: *makes a small irrelevant mistake*
My Brain, banging pots and pans together: YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUC
Me: *makes huge mistake that will directly affect my future horribly*
My Brain, lounging on a lawn chair with shades on: ....acknowledged
whats the best way to trim the crest+beard of a silkie? this lady can barely see with all that floof!
apparently some people use little headbands to keep the fluff out of their eyes
80s chickens
yo im late but when i first got my polish frizzle bantams years ago from their breeder their crests were up to keep them out of the mud (because they’re show birds) and the result was amazing
evidence that ancient paleolithic venus statues were made by women who were examining their own bodies and sculpting them from their own point of view, not, as previously assumed, exaggerated features from an outside perspective
It gets even better, because he was doing all of this on a pitch black night. This dude swam towards a lure, slapped at it with his glove, and when it got caught; he let himself float and tugged on the line so the fisherman thought he had hooked a 100+ pound salmon. Once he was finally up to the shore, he turned a flashlight on in the guy’s face and walked out of the water, saying “good morning, gentlemen. State fish and game warden, you’re under arrest.“
At this point, the guy who had reeled him in had literally fallen over in shock, and the other people with him were scared shitless. The warden whipped some citations out of a plastic bag in his wetsuit, made the trespassers sign them, asked if they had any questions, and then gathered all of their fishing gear. And he just. Walked back into the river. And quietly swam away, without another word.
Taiwanese artist Yen Jui-Lin hand-carves adorable wooden characters that are so full of personality, they look like they could spring to life at any second. Each of Jui-Lin’s playful “little characters” is co-designed with his two children. Together they share ideas, and then Jui-Lin brings them to tangible reality by carving the quirky cast of characters out of wood. (Naturally, he gifts a number of them exclusively to his children.)
Jui-Lin uses a selection of different woods, stains, and varnishes to achieve such variety in his creations. Ranging from animalistic creatures, to siamese twins joined at the head, these objects are all one-of-a-kind, with each seeming to have their own mischievous personality. Their characters are often conveyed with subtle engravings, forming little mouths and expressions. Some also function as vases, with grass or flowers as sprouting tufts of hair, while others are simply unique toys for kids and lighthearted adults.
Follow Yen Jui-Lin on Facebook and Instagram to keep up to date on his work.
Taiwanese artist Yen Jui-Lin hand-carves adorable little characters out of wood.
Each character is developed from the imagination of his own children, who together sketch their ideas.
tumblr user, drinking a bottle of uncontaminated water in post apocalyptic america: i love this?? this is so pure omg
tumblr user, finding a miraculously untouched packet of frozen pastries in post-apocalyptic america: beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure
tumblr user, succumbing to dehydration in the wilderness of post-apocalyptic america: my hands are literally shaking as I type this
tumblr edgelord, to a booby-trap in post-apocalyptic america, an arrow embedded deep in their chest: i’m sorry, are you triggered?
tumblr user, attempting to reestablish a pony express mail service across the shattered remnants of post-apocalyptic america: this post is important
tumblr user, standing behind thousands of other refugees from post-apocalyptic america, straining to hear the instructions of the volunteer who is giving them their floor space assignments: say it louder for the people in the back
tumblr user, handing out vials —filled with a cure for the plague which has devastated the world— to the remaining people of post-apocalyptic america: spread this like wildfire
tumblr user, checking the post-apocalyptic town’s notice board for information important to rebuilding: why doesn’t this have more notes??
tumblr user, about to venture out into a dangerous part of the post-apocalyptic world with a small group of volunteers for whom they care for dearly and are concerned about the mental wellbeing of and the impact the adventure could have on them: if you don’t like this unfollow me right now
tumblr user, watching a boy be dragged into the stocks of a post-apocalyptic settlement for the crime of stealing a crust of bread: FREE HIM
Post post modernism
tumblr user, trekking on foot across the burned out plains of post-apocalyptic america in search of refuge for what seems like forever: Is Canada even real?
tumblr user, being offered bark tea to fend off against scurvy in post-apocalyptic america: This tea is HOT!
tumblr user, alone and searching for the warmth and comfort of other humans and being jumped by a group of post-apocalyptic american vigilantes: I came out to have a good time and i’m honestly feeling so attacked right now
tumblr user, caring for a nursery of small children, the last children born into this broken, dying world, gently feeding them watery broth: take a fuckin’ sip babes
tumblr user, watching a suspicious figure approach the gates of their ramshackle settlement in post-apocalyptic america: who is she
tumblr user, looking helplessly at their shattered pole weapon before perishing in the battle circle of post-apocalyptic america: wtf staff
character concept: two people who have been reincarnated for thousands of years and have always found eachother but instead of being in love they just fucking hate eachother
Look at this beautiful cat! On her left side, she is a black cat with a blue eye, and on her right side, she's a ginger. If you look at the rest of Quimera, you see that her pied look wraps around the other side of her body.
I'm not sure if it works out to be any cheaper than actual RIT dye but I love the color chart and the fact that it works so well. Because koolaid is scary.
Apparently concentrated Kool-Aid can be used as a pretty effective leather dye.
I was making a drink while cutting the snaps off some new straps for my pauldrons and I got curious, so I tried it, thinking, “ok even if this works, it will just wash out.”
Nope.
It took the “dye” (undiluted) in about 3 seconds. After drying for about an hour and a half, it would not wash off in the hottest tap-water. It would not wash out after soaking for 30 minutes. It did not wash out until I BOILED it, and even then, only by a tiny bit and it gave it a weathered look that was kind of cool. Add some waterproofing and I’d wager it would survive even that.
That rich red is only one application too. Plus it smells great, lol.
So there you go, cheap, fruity smelling leather dye in all the colors Kool-Aid has to offer.
WELL THEN!
this may be important to some of my followers *and certainly not just getting reblogged because of my costuming and my boyfriends desire for leather armor*
When I was in middle school we used to use it to dye our hair. Potent stuff.
If you’re dying anything with kool-aid it’s best to use SUGAR-FREE ones otherwise the thing you’re dying might get all sticky
the flavor only packets where you are supposed add sugar are the best. they will dye any natural fiber: leather, wool, cotton, hair, flax, jute, silk and so forth. heat the dye water so it is more potent. let dry then rinse excess out in cold water. there’s a whole system to this.
Oh my god
This will prove very useful for any future cosplays I wanna do.
"I shoot him three times, because he is a heavy for one of the rival mobs in town, and the last time I shot him, I only shot him twice and he was out of the hospital in three weeks."
You have nothing in your apartment but a yellow davenport, a small fold-out table, and fourteen bottles of Scotch.
You only carry a .32 caliber gun with a white-bone grip because you are a lady and that is a gun for ladies.
You are a blonde who is neither icy nor languid, which makes you unclassifiable.
You are always many steps ahead of the cops, whom you do not respect.
i want all four of these applied to a single character and she will be my favorite
whoops my hand slipped:
My boss always tells me that a thirty-two caliber pistol is no gun for a lady, because it is no gun for anyone. I tell him that it is absolutely a gun for a lady such as myself, because it has polished white bone grips that fit my hand just so. He tells me that he was shot once with a thirty-two, and it did not even slow him down. I tell him that not everyone is lucky enough to be shot in the ear, especially not when I am doing the shooting, and that if the person who shot him had done the job properly, he would not be complaining. We have this conversation at least once a week. If I ever have to shoot my boss, I will not shoot him in the ear, because that is a part of his body he does not use and will not miss if I do shoot him there.
Today we are having this conversation in my apartment. We are at my apartment because the cops are at my boss’s apartment, and they wish very urgently to speak with him. My boss is not at his apartment, because he wishes very urgently to not speak with the cops there, or indeed any cops whatsoever. If the cops knew anything at all about my boss, they would look for him here, but the only things the cops know how to do in this town are take bribes and run protection rackets. At this they are almost as good as my boss.
I am sitting on my davenport, which is a brighter yellow than my hair, but not nearly so pretty. My boss is not sitting on the davenport. He is standing, because even my boss can be a gentleman at times, such as when a lady does not wish to share her davenport, at least if she explains this to him with small words and many gestures, some of which involve a thirty-two caliber pistol. He is also not sitting on my fold-out table, because he would break it, and also because there would be no room for the fourteen bottles of Scotch whisky. My boss is something in the line of an importer of Scotch whisky, which is a very important job in these times, now that the Volstead Act has made it very illegal to make Scotch whisky or indeed any other kind of whisky here. There were sixteen bottles when my boss arrived, but we have been putting this Scotch whisky to the use for which it was intended, namely drinking. There is no other furniture in my apartment, because only a sucker spends the night at her own apartment when she can be spending it in more interesting places, like nightclubs and dance halls and other peoples’ apartments.
As we are having this conversation, a man comes through the door with a gun. I shoot him three times, because he is a heavy for one of the rival mobs in town, and the last time I shot him, I only shot him twice and he was out of the hospital in three weeks. This time by my reckoning he will be in the hospital for at least four weeks and a half, or possibly the morgue. It is a very great nuisance to have our conversation interrupted like this, but it does at least go to show that even the rival mobs here, who are so dumb they think they can compete directly with my boss, are still smarter than the cops.
holy shit lory
you need to write more like this, it’s amazing
“A part of his body he does not use and will not miss”! I’m cackling, this is great.
as a procrastinating overachiever i feel like i don’t necessarily “half-ass” things, it’s more like a “3/4 ass”. like overall did i do pretty well? yeah. did i reach my maximum potential though? i think the fuck Not.
(Image credit: gataquimera) 
