firehose

WASHINGTON—Calling the busted cylinder a national hero, sources confirmed Wednesday that a sewer pipe in the U.S. Capitol building valiantly burst open

The NFL Players Association is not fighting on behalf of former New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez because they believe he is innocent. Instead, the NFLPA believes New England owes Hernandez money. The union is currently fighting the league to collection millions promised to Hernandez after he signed a five-year, $40 million contract extension last year.

NSA Director Alexander Admits He Lied about Phone Surveillance Stopping 54 Terror Plots

Just yesterday, A Tribe Called Quest announced it would be opening for Kanye West at two upcoming Yeezus shows in New York. While the match-up makes those shows sound extra awesome, it turns out that they might be monumental for more than just being a killer lineup. That's because, according to Q-Tip, those two shows could be the group’s final two shows ever. The band played an August date in California, and has now decided to end its 28-year run where it began: New York City.

A Tribe Called Quest formed in 1985 and quickly established itself as one of the most successful and critically respected hip-hop groups around. It disbanded in 1998, but reunited six years later for Rock The Bells. Since then, Tribe has been more or less together, playing shows and teasing a new record, but never really fully committing to being a functioning group ...

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Thanks to a power outage (and its longstanding “six days to air” policy of turning episodes around so quickly), South Park has missed its deadline for the first time in the show’s history. In a statement from Comedy Central, the network says, “On Tuesday night, South Park Studios lost power. From animation to rendering to editing and sound, all of their computers were down for hours and they were unable to finish episode 1704, ‘Goth Kids 3: Dawn Of The Posers’ in time for air tonight.” And rather than just replace any of the missing scenes with video of a pig wearing sunglasses, like we would do, Trey Parker and Matt Stone have decided to be professionals and move the episode to Oct. 23. “It sucks to miss an air date but after all these years of tempting fate by delivering the show last minute, I guess it was ...

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popular shared this story from FAIL Blog.

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"Well, I was onstage. I didn't see it," Thicke, a mere bystander(!), says. "To me, I'm walking out towards Miley, I'm not thinking fun. . . . But you have to remember, I'm singing my butt off. I'm looking up at the sky singing. I'm not really paying attention to all of that. That's on her. [Uncomfortable laughter.] People ask me, 'Do you twerk?' I go, 'I'm the twerkee. I'm twerked upon." Ironically, just as your blogger was watching this clip, one of the actresses who portrayed a bear during the aforementioned V.M.A. performance was taking part in a Reddit A.M.A. Potentially undermining Thicke's Oprah's Next Chapter claims, the actress reveals of the performance, "Most of it was pretty planned. [Miley and Robin] both knew in rehearsals exactly what they were going to be doing. Robin seemed very on board and even suggested some of the moves. That being said, his wife and son were there the entire time."

snowden-is-dead:

whitecourtkellyrhea:

Our local animal rehab center just posted pics of this owl who got rescued

And I really can’t with him

oh my god

What even

They tried to make me go to rehab

I said no, no, no

A much as people in Portland love their cocktails, Portland Cocktail Week doesn't exactly have the vibe of citywide inclusiveness—their motto, after all, is "for bartenders, by bartenders." And no harm, no foul; They have plenty to keep them busy without the prying eyes and dumb questions of tourists. If anything it's becoming more of a professionally-oriented convention—just check out the number of career-building courses that make up the new Portland Bartender Institute that anchors the series.

However, there are some classes that are open to the public. (They're listed as "Consumer Classes"—try not to be offended.) And, you can always apply for a festival pass as an enthusiast, if you plan to crash more than a couple of the "After School" parties.

For the more casual interest, a couple highlights include Sunday's opening night "Swig n Swine" at the Jupiter Hotel, a daytime pig BBQ with lots of punch and live music, and the closing party next Thursday (Oct 24), where representatives from across the nation will be pouring out their best signature cocktails—also at the Jupiter. Just prior to that is a unique event that acts as the "finals" for the Bartender Institute's students, in which they are tasked with creating a fully functioning bar in just 10 hours, with the public invited to come try out their handiwork. (That one's at Pure Space.)

On the educational side, this is a good week to brush up on your home bar tending know how: For $30 a pop, you can learn everything from the hands-on basics of craft cocktails to the finer points of single malt whisky, all about apéritifs and bitters, or—my pick—"Women & Whiskies" with Josh Meyer of the Imaginary Authors line of scents, exploring "the relationship between whisk(e)y, fragrance and aroma." Sorry dudes—that one's ladies only. Hit the site for all the details on PDXCW, of which there are many.

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DOGTV is a television channel made specifically for dogs to stimulate or soothe them while their owners are away from home. The channel is also available streaming online, and it can be purchased from the DOGTV website.

via The Presurfer

I just received an email from Nepal. Sakar is a member of Karkhana, a Kathmandu makerspace, and their Raspberry Pis have just experienced a day quite unlike that of any other Raspberry Pis in the world. It’s important to remember before you read Sakar’s mail that the religious and cultural experience in Kathmandu can be extraordinarily involved, and is much more central to daily life than it is in, say, Cambridge. I’m not sure we in Cambridge get the best end of the deal here. Sakar says:

Hi Liz,

This might tickle your fancy.

I’m writing from Karkhana, a makerspace in Kathmandu. We are just about getting done with our biggest festival, Dasai, which celebrates the story of one of the two big Hindu epics, Ramayana. It’s a 10 day festival that pretty much brings the country to a complete halt as attention shifts to home, family, playing cards and chowing down on goat.

On the 9th day of festival is a special puja called the “Astra” puja, i.e a worship of implements. The army worships their guns and helicopters. The taxi drivers worship their engines. And we got a Brahmin priest to conduct the ceremony for our 3d printer, our tables saws, our soldering irons, and, of course, our Raspberry Pi’s.

Some photos are attached. Enjoy!

Square today rolled out a potentially game-changing new service in the form of Square Cash, which allows anyone with a Visa or MasterCard debit card to send money to anyone else with a Visa or MasterCard debit card, via email. Square, Jack Dorsey’s San Francisco payments startup, charges no fee and the money will arrive sometime between instantaneously and one day later. Reviews of the service are very positive. You can transfer up to $2,500 a month via Square Cash, which means it could be useful for everything from settling up with friends to paying rent.

But is it safe?

But there is a giant caveat to Square Cash that the company is going to have to deal with in its communications to the public if it wants the service to take off: There is no limit to your liability for fraud from the use of Square Cash. So what happens if someone hacks into your email account? Sending cash with Square is as easy as emailing someone with a dollar amount in the subject line and CC-ing “cash@square.com”. Square replies to the email and sets the transaction in motion, transferring from one debit card to another, directly.

Square says it will reverse fraudulent transactions, but what if that money is already gone, because it’s been transferred elsewhere by the recipient or withdrawn? This is a question Square has yet to answer with sufficient clarity. The optimistic view is that Square will pursue money on your behalf no matter what their terms of service say, because a few high-profile cases of fraud would ruin the reputation of this nascent service. But the way Square makes it explicit, at least in its legalese, that it’s not liable for fraud, suggests the company is prepared to defend itself from unforeseen circumstances.

Square says that its service is super secure. And in order to transfer more than $250 a week via Square Cash, you have to give them information about yourself including your Facebook account, to verify you’re a real human. (Good luck to you if you’re a social media conscientious objector.)

I’ve reached out to Square for clarification on its security procedures and fraud protections, and will update this article once it responds. But right now it looks like using Square Cash at least opens people up to the possibility that a hacker could empty their checking account.

Female cosplayers at New York ComicCon share the creepiest thing that’s ever been said to them while they were in costume.

Legend Toys has created two new hyper-realistic action figures of Apple founder Steve Jobs, one from the 1970s and the other from the 1980s. The 70s version comes with a double-breasted suit, the 80s action figure wears Jobs’ iconic black turtleneck and jeans, and both versions come with a 1:6-scale laser-cut wood Apple I computer with a detailed motherboard and cabling. The Steve Jobs action figures are currently available to pre-order online at Legend Toys.

images via Legend Toys

via CNET

METRIC, BATTLEME
(Roseland, 8 NW 6th) Pound for pound, Metric is one of the finest popular music acts of our day. They really go the extra mile! Just listen to Emily Haines' hazy, ethereal vocals, spreading out over an endless, lush soundscape like an upturned pint of mead! Gorgeous stuff—by any serious music fan's yardstick. DENIS C. THERIAULT

PALMA VIOLETS, SKATERS
(Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside) London-based Palma Violets make the kind of down-to-earth garage-rock that is so well loved in Portland. Guitar anthems and booming drums set the stage for melody-laced vocals, all coming together in their boozy, sweaty, welcoming debut album, 180. Frontmen Samuel Fryer and Chilli Jesson complement each other's shredding, singing, and thrashing to create dynamic and fiery songs that take direct cues from the Clash and Iggy Pop. Their music is uproarious and rambunctious—and for a relatively new band, they own a combination of sounds that immediately sparks an energy inside that tells you to engage. RACHEL MILBAUER

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It seems like no con can go past these days without a big post on the giant jerks who went there not to have fun but to find women and make them uncomfortable for someone's entertainment. Expected? Yes. Disappointing? Yes. Disappointing that it's so expected? That too.

Proposed new German words for the human condition

A tumblr for you to follow, Medieval People of Color.  It updates quite often, and will take you to good places.  

These kids are amazing, they nailed iiitttt.  My science classes were never this cool (except when Ms. Hunt took us on field trips! I can still identify all that lichen, Ms. Hunt).

Some really great things come out around Ada Lovelace Day every year, no?  

Washington Post

Facebook Changes Privacy Policy for Teenagers New York Times San Francisco — Teenagers using Facebook will now be able to post items that can be seen by the public, making it easier for the social network to turn a teenager's post into an ad that can be shown widely. Facebook: Teens can now post publicly, but posts are friends-only by defaultWashington Post Facebook lifts restriction on teen users sharing with publicReuters Facebook Now Lets Teens Live Out Their Awkward Years in PublicTIME Bloomberg -Tri-Valley Herald all 20 news articles »

If you relish the sometimes-unwieldy experience of locking your bike to a book-shaped bike rack, maybe get your kicks while you can.

Powell's City of Books has unveiled a number of proposed upgrades to its storefront, including the removal of the large thematic art rack under the Powell's awning at W Burnside and 10th. The green rack is tough to park at, but, you know, shaped like books. It was a nice touch, if a bit impractical.

As first reported by the blog Bike Portland, the proposals don't mean the store's taking away net bike parking. Powell's hopes to do away with two parking spots on NW 10th, expand the sidewalk, and put in nine new city-provided bike staples. Check it out:

While there's apparently some nostalgia attached to the book rack, this change actually strikes me as a huge positive. It's another business embracing the notion that downtown's finite parking spaces aren't sacrosanct—that in fact commerce is better served by bike parking. Powell's of course, already has an on-street bike corral on its northwest corner.

Yes, the new parking won't be covered, but if you ride a bike in Portland you're more-than prepared for that. Or you should be.

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"GET OVER HER!" -Dr. Scorpion, Psychiatrist

— michael (@michaeljhudson) May 23, 2013

chrisdwoo:

I’ve discussed before how Dan Harmon (creator of Community, co-writer for Monster House) has distilled the Joseph Campbell’s Monomyth into a very basic tool for describing the arcs of a story. Harmon prefers to see his story structure as a circle, whereas I believe that it is in fact a Cosine Wave. Since I’ve posted the above gif I’ve gotten quite a few notes about it and I thought I’d expand on my idea of why Harmon’s circle best fits a Cosine.

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Perfect. 

[Reposted from swordfishtrombones via rollinsonowa]

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I am not hugely interested in inter-paper mudslinging, as a rule, but Willamette Week's coverage of this weekend's all-woman comedy festival All Jane No Dick is beyond problematic: They chose to cover a four-day festival that's bringing a lineup of genuinely exciting comics to town with a piece entitled "Laughing at Rape in a Crowded Theater: A Brief History of the Rape-Joke Debate." Because... ladies be talking about rape jokes all the time? I guess?

The piece is by Rebecca Jacobson, whose writing I happen to like. And I believe that she's committed to improving coverage of comedy at Willamette Week, as her recent efforts to get local comedy scenesters to vote in a "Best New Comic" poll demonstrate. But this piece is a painful misstep.

On its own, the article would be fine. The ground it covers is fairly well-traversed, but it's a decent timeline. I particularly appreciate that Jacobson links to Patricia Lockwood's staggering poem "Rape Jokes"; more eyeballs on that is a good thing. As their sole coverage of this festival, though, it's gobsmacking. It's not useful—it quotes Lindy West, for example, but fails to mention that she'll be appearing at the festival on Sunday; nor does it mention any of the festival's headliners by name. (The brilliant Cameron Esposito, who's headlining, even wrote a great piece about rape jokes! She didn't make the timeline, though.) And more crucially, it reduces a diverse group of female comics down to one issue. It marginalizes a group of performers who have historically already been marginalized. And it's illustrated with a photo of Daniel Tosh, for fucking fuck's sake. I understand why they didn't give the festival the level of coverage we did; determining what to cover every week in a busy, artsy city is a balancing act. But to cover it in this way was a profoundly wrongheaded and out-of-touch choice.

Our cover story about the festival will be online in an hour or so is online now. In the meantime, you can check out the schedule and purchase tickets at alljanenodick.com.

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Link (thanks, rubenluthman!)

Although a trench coat and a computer are hardly comparable products, Burberry and Apple’s retail journeys have been remarkably similar in recent years. This makes today’s appointment of Burberry’s CEO, Angela Ahrendts, as Apple’s new head of retail more understandable. It also offers some clues on what Ahrendts will do to steer Apple’s retail strategy.

Ahrendts has long looked to Apple for inspiration during her eight-year stint as head of the venerable luxury fashion house. She said as much in a 2010 interview with the Wall Street Journal:

If I look to any company as a model, it’s Apple. They’re a brilliant design company working to create a lifestyle, and that’s the way I see us.

Apple and Burberry share other similarities beyond their ambitions to be lofty “lifestyle” brands (as opposed to grubby product companies). Not so long ago, both spent time in the wilderness with debased brands that fell prey to resellers, license and franchise partners. Both companies took tighter control of their brands and emphasized direct retail channels, with Burberry buying back licenses after Ahrendts joined in 2006.

Apple opened its first retail store in 2001 and launched its online iTunes store in 2003. This gave the company much more control over its brand identity and cut out intermediaries between the company and its customers.

These strategies boosted sales and profits at both firms, paying off handsomely for shareholders.

On its face, Burberry has learned more from Apple in recent years than the other way around. Ahrendts’s embrace of technology has set her apart in the staid luxury industry. Burberry’s flagship London store, for instance, is stuffed with whizzy digital displays and iPad-toting assistants. So what will the Cupertino-based technology giant gain from the experience of Ahrendts?

Ahrendts made courting millennial consumers one of her key objectives by rendering Burberry’s heritage in a modern way—no small feat for a 157-year-old brand. Burberry’s shrewd, unified approach to brand identity—a skill cherished by luxury retailers—holds lessons for Apple. The technology firm’s cool design aesthetic and friendly, efficient stores stand in stark contrast to the cluttered, clunky iTunes and App Store experience. And although there are plenty of Apple superfans out there, the common Apple customer’s relationship with the company is much more transactional than the emotional bond Burberry buyers have with the brand.

Ahrendts will be the first executive at Apple to oversee both online and offline retail operations. To this end, here is a telling quote from another Ahrendts interview:

Digital is not an afterthought. Our design teams design for a landing page and the landing page dictates what the store windows will look like, not the other way round. In creative media, they’re shooting for digital, then we are turning it back to physical.

While a bit of Burberry magic may give Apple’s stores added elegance, her biggest contribution will be forging even stronger bonds between Apple and its customers, both in store and (especially) online. Burberry has more than 16 million Facebook fans and two million Twitter followers.

Ahrendts is not the first executive Apple has poached from the luxury industry—Paul Deneve of Yves Saint Laurent joined earlier this year, reportedly to help design a smart watch. Deneve was likely brought on to make Apple’s next-generation products look good. Ahrendts will use her considerable digital marketing savvy to make customers feel good, so much so that they won’t be able to resist a purchase—and the chance to tell all their friends.