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This was lying on the bed this morning and I thought it deserved to be scanned. Because of reasons it is probably the least Smaug-like Smaug ever to be perpetrated on the human race. (It doesn’t help either that Bilbo looks like a deranged leprechaun, but let’s leave that alone for the moment.)

The image is the cover for the first of these editions of Der kleine hobbit, which Peter picked up either in Zurich, at the big bookstore on Bahnhofstrasse down by Paradeplatz, or in Munich somewhere. (He uses Tolkien’s work in translation as a tool for learning other languages, as he says, [tapping his head] “I have the complete crib inside here.” And so he does.)

But seriously. Look at that thing. Just look.

„In der Tat, Lieder und Sagen kommen überhapt nicht an die Wirklichkeit heran, O Smaug, du* grösstes und schrecklichstes aller Unglücke,“ erwiderte Bilbo.

In this case: I DON’T THINK SO. …Butterfly wings. Gack.

(Just so that everyone’s clear: I know this isn’t the artist’s fault. The artist painted what the art director told him to. That’s how these things go. But if I ever find myself in the same room as the art director, we’re going to have words. And “schrecklich" will be just one of them.)

*BTW, WTF, Bilbo is using “du” with Smaug already? That escalated real fast…

ABC News

Door-to-Door Shooter Embroiled in Difficult Divorce: Police ABC News It might have appeared that Ben Freeman was trying to right some wrongs in his life in the months before police say he killed three people and himself. In June, he agreed to pay his ex-wife Jeanne (ZHANNE) Gouaux (GO) $22,560 in overdue child support ... Louisiana man in custody battle goes on shooting rampage, kills 4 and injures 3 ...Fox News Four dead, including gunman, in Louisiana rampageLos Angeles Times Four killed, three wounded in Louisiana crime spreeReuters USA TODAY -New York Times all 420 news articles »

Not a single vessel was hijacked was hijacked this year off the Horn of Africa, where piracy waged by Somalis was once rampant, according to the US Office of Naval Intelligence.

It’s the fourth annual decline in Indian Ocean piracy, following a peak of 52 vessels in 2009—the year Richard Phillip’s ship, the Maersk Alabama, was commandeered by Somalis. That hijacking was the subject of a major motion picture this year.

As we noted in May, the disappearance of Somali piracy follows

• an increased presence of international navies in and around the Indian Ocean;
• Kenyan military intervention against al-Shabab strongholds in Somalia;
• and vigilance among vessel owners, who have rerouted and fortified ships to combat piracy threats.

In all of 2013, only nine vessels were attacked by pirates off the Horn of Africa, 4 in the final 2 months of the year. None were successfully hijacked.

Ships on the west coast of Africa were less fortunate in 2013. Pirates there fired on 31 vessels and seized 9 this year in the Gulf of Guinea.

dont ask me, i just work here

Out of all the coaches on our hot seat watch, Jason Garrett is the only one who is really fighting for something in Week 17. If the Cowboys make the playoffs, he could save his job.

Before Week 16, we took a look at three NFL head coaches who needed the playoffs to secure their jobs. Those three were Jim Schwartz of the Detroit Lions, Jason Garrett of the Dallas Cowboys and Rex Ryan of the New York Jets.

Well, the Jets were already eliminated at that point, and Ryan could soon be out of a job because of it. Both the Lions and the Cowboys needed to win in Week 16 to keep their hopes alive and ... one of them did. The other failed, and was eliminated from the playoffs accordingly.

Let's take a quick look at those two coaches below:

Jason Garrett, Dallas Cowboys

Garrett and the Cowboys control their own destiny at this point. They controlled it in Week 16, despite having an unremarkable record. What Dallas needed to do was go out and beat the Washington Redskins. Tony Romo may have done what he usually does -- throwing a poor interception at the worst of times -- but he also rebounded and did something he has always been perfectly capable of doing in throwing a late, game-winning touchdown pass.

The Cowboys beat the Redskins, 24-23, and now have the opportunity to play in a win-and-in scenario. Unfortunately, the Cowboys have been in this same situation over the past two seasons; playing an NFC East rival in Week 17 for the division. Dallas fell to the Redskins in this situation last season, and to the New York Giants the season before.

This time, it's the Philadelphia Eagles, who boast a better record currently but would lose the tiebreak if Dallas were to even it up with a victory in Week 17. Will they make it? Garrett's job certainly depends on it. Some thought he was going to be fired before this season even started.

Jim Schwartz, Detroit Lions

Schwartz and the Lions didn't control their own destiny, but they still had hope heading into Week 16. That hope was dashed when they fell to the Giants on Sunday. New York has been bad all season, and losing to the Giants is pretty easy confirmation that the Lions probably would have likely been eliminated in the first round regardless.

At this point, the Lions are impatient. Schwartz took his team to the playoffs once since taking over in 2009, but he's been ineffective in many aspects of his coaching. Losing his temper and yelling at fans didn't help his cause. His team also seems to be incredibly undisciplined, which has been a common complaint for the Lions for years.

The one thing that can save Schwartz at this point would be blaming someone else. The offense struggled and was lethargic, which may not be his fault. Quarterback Matthew Stafford has had a late-season meltdown and has been the opposite of clutch. Maybe Schwartz gets another year on the virtue of those things alone -- or maybe the $12 million still owed to him -- but for now, I'm sticking to my opinion that he needed the playoffs to save his job.

But that doesn't mean he's most in danger of getting fired. There's still Greg Schiano, who should have been gone some time ago and Leslie Frazier, who is now doing his best to quell talk of potentially losing his job. Our full list of coaches on the hot seat is below:

Dennis Allen (Oakland Raiders), Jason Garrett (Dallas Cowboys), Rex Ryan (New York Jets), Leslie Frazier (Minnesota Vikings), Mike Munchak (Tennessee Titans), Greg Schiano (Tampa Bay Buccaneers),Gary Kubiak (Houston Texans), Jim Schwartz (Detroit Lions) and Mike Shanahan (Washington Redskins)

After Week 16

Victorious: Ryan, Garrett, Munchack

Ryan and the Jets managed to best the ... Cleveland Browns. The Jets are winning too little, too late at this point. They're already out of the playoffs, and an 11-point victory over the Browns isn't likely to save Ryan's job.

Losers: Frazier, Schiano, Shanahan, Schwartz, Allen

Frazier and Schiano both lost their games and didn't look very competitive. The Vikings were dominated by the Cincinnati Bengals to the tune of 42-14. Tampa Bay lost to the Rams, 23-13. Allen and the Raiders continued to roll over for their opponents with a 26-13 loss to AFC West rival the San Diego Chargers. Allen may get another year, but that's all.

We've already talked about Shanahan and Schwartz's failures.

Looking Ahead

Obviously, the biggest matchup here will be the game between the Cowboys and the Eagles. Garrett needs the game to keep his job, and it will be the Sunday Night Football matchup. Schwartz and the Lions will take on Frazier and the Vikings, which is significant because getting to 8-8 might help Schwartz's chances at keeping his job while Frazier getting absolutely blown out again might lead to his immediate firing.

Shanahan and the Redskins will take on the Giants in a game that is essentially meaningless. Win or lose, the decision to keep or fire Shanahan has probably already been made. The Buccaneers are in much the same situation with Schiano. How badly the Raiders lose to the Denver Broncos could impact a potential snap decision by the Raiders ownership, but at this point, Allen might be safe for another season.

Status

Most In Danger: Schiano (4-11)
In Danger: Allen (4-11), Schwartz (7-8), Shanahan (3-12), Ryan (7-8), Frazier (4-10-1), Munchack (6-9)
Least Danger: Garrett (8-7)
Fired: Kubiak

More from SB Nation NFL

• NFL Week 17 picks for every game | Watchability Index

• NFL Power Rankings: 49ers, Seahawks steady at the top

• PFT Commenter's awards: Rex Ryan's big week

• NFL Mock Draft: The silver lining to your team's misery

• Death of a football player: Helmet-to-helmet hit killed Derek Sheely

Hugh Pickens DOT Com writes "USA Today reports that Ford's next F-150 pickup truck will be made mostly of aluminum, instead of steel, in a bid to save weight. It will likely either be hailed as a breakthrough product to buyers who've made F-150 the bedrock of its business or one that draws comparisons to a 'rolling beer can.' The automaker has asked Alcoa, which makes aluminum blast shields for battlefield-bound vehicles, to lend some of its military-grade metal for the automaker's display, according to people familiar with Ford's plans. Ford's sales job will be considerable: The company is eager to demonstrate the toughness of aluminum, which is lighter than steel, to pickup buyers at next month's Detroit auto show. 'This is already the most significant debut at the auto show,' says Joe Langley. 'Everybody's going to be dissecting that thing for a long time, especially since Ford will be taking such a big gamble.' As a transformative product with a potentially troublesome introduction, the new F-150 has drawn comparisons with Boeing Co.'s 787 Dreamliner — an aircraft developed under the company's commercial airplane chief at the time, Alan Mulally, who in 2006 became Ford's chief executive officer. Because of the complicated switch to aluminum from steel in the F-150's body, IHS Automotive estimates Ford will need to take about six weeks of downtime at each of its two U.S. truck plants to retool and swap out robots and machinery. Ford is apparently trying to squeeze more than 700 pounds out of its next generation of pickup trucks. Using aluminum to cut weight would help meet rising fuel economy standards in the United States, which is requiring a fleetwide average of 54.5 miles per gallon by 2025."

Read more of this story at Slashdot.

A love of computers and programming – rather than a specific interest in rat hair and dinosaur skin – helped Sanjay Bakshi get his role at Pixar.

Questlove and Padma go there with the Ls and Rs



[UPDATE: Questlove has apologized for his comments. See below.]

At this point in the year, my brain is shutting down, I'm stuffing my face and settling into a state of personal reflection and Twilight Zone reruns. So when something like this comes across my desk, I'm feeling more annoyed than anything else. We couldn't close out the year without some more ignorant social media s%*t?

Questlove and Padma Lakshmi Under Fire for 'Racist' Asian Jokes

From personalities I kind of like, no less. Musician Aamir "Questlove" Thompson of The Roots and model/Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi have recently got into some trouble for comments exchanged on Twitter regarding Quest's travels through Japan, where The Roots are currently on tour. Somewhere along the way, he snapped a photo and just had to throw in the joke about the stereotypical, mixed-up mispronunciation of Ls and Rs.

Eye roll. But then his manager Dawn Englehart (who is of Asian descent) and Padma joined in:




According to Mediaite, Questlove also posted a video of a woman speaking Japanese, offering his own commentary, "Ladies and gentlemen, they are talking in tongues." Naw, dude. That's called Japanese.



The posts have since been deleted, but gossip blog Oh No They Didn't! also noted a Vine in which Questlove shows a sleeping Japanese man aboard a bullet train, simply captioned: "McSnoleArot." Not getting old, it seems.



As a big fan of The Roots -- I own every album and even bought Questlove's book -- this is disappointing... mostly because it's such a tired joke. Enjoy the rest of your travels, Quest. Try to keep the cultural mocking to a minimum? And come on, Padma. Don't encourage that shit.

More here: Questlove and Padma Lakshmi being racist. Blergh.

UPDATE: Questlove has posted an apology for his comments on Facebook:

ok. addressing the elephant in the room on christmas

unfortunately, i've offended my asian brothers & sisters with an IG post which i made during my recent tour of japan. in that post, i likened a japanese department store employee's vocal intonation to that of a (church) deacon speaking in tongues. clearly, i didn't intend to offend anyone (asian or otherwise), clearly, i *thought* that comparison was funny-cute

... and clearly i thought wrong.

in hindsight, it's easy to see how my post was yet another example of the ugly, american flipping yet another ugly/racially/culturally insensitive script. so, let me make this abundantly clear....

THE ISH THAT I SAID WAS DUMB (PERIOD).

And no, it wasn't Duck Dynasty/Phil Robertson mean spirited-xenophobic dumb (but the last time i checked, sleep was still the cousin of death)

---look. i'm a human being and dumber yet, i'm a public figure. if you're lucky enough to be either of the aforementioned, then not only should one stay clear of saying or writing hurtful things, one should actively work against feeling comfortable, thinking hurtful thoughts. given that black culture consistently finds itself at the butt end of so many offensive "outsider" jokes, I should be way, way more sensitive (after all, who's zooming who). I for one, should never allow my cultural bias to take precedence over my "examined life" (clunkers be damned). i know the whole kinder and gentler thing reeks of a self serving political correctness, but eff it, it's "all me".

so, here i am once again, publicly coming to terms with some more of my stupid "say, say, say" ish. allow me to ask for forgiveness and understanding from anyone that i've offended. I will be better in 2014 (i promise)

-thank you.

-akt

It doesn't really address the L/R thing that jokesters always want to beat to death. But he seems to get where the criticism is coming from.

Original Source

porkrub:

I walk this lonely road
The only road that I have ever known

KentuckyFC writes "A curious thing about video games is that computers have never been very good at playing them like humans by simply looking at a monitor and judging actions accordingly. Sure, they're pretty good if they have direct access to the program itself, but 'hand-to-eye-co-ordination' has never been their thing. Now our superiority in this area is coming to an end. A team of AI specialists in London have created a neural network that learns to play games simply by looking at the RGB output from the console. They've tested it successfully on a number of games from the legendary Atari 2600 system from the 1980s. The method is relatively straightforward. To simplify the visual part of the problem, the system down-samples the Atari's 128-colour, 210x160 pixel image to create an 84x84 grayscale version. Then it simply practices repeatedly to learn what to do. That's time-consuming, but fairly simple since at any instant in time during a game, a player can choose from a finite set actions that the game allows: move to the left, move to the right, fire and so on. So the task for any player — human or otherwise — is to choose an action at each point in the game that maximizes the eventual score. The researchers say that after learning Atari classics such as Breakout and Pong, the neural net can then thrash expert human players. However, the neural net still struggles to match average human performance in games such as Seaquest, Q*bert and, most importantly, Space Invaders. So there's hope for us yet... just not for very much longer."

Read more of this story at Slashdot.

Imagine a version of Google Earth that uses real-time imagery instead of years-old satellite data. This is the premise behind UrtheCast – a camera that Russian astronauts Oleg Kotov and Sergey Ryazanskiy will be mounting today outside of the International Space Station. Watch the installation-spacewalk live, here on io9!

Read more...

Nearly every NFL game in Week 17 could have playoff implications. Here's your rundown to what could be one of the crazier finishes to the regular season in recent memory.

Well more than half of the 32 teams in the NFL remain in playoff contention heading into Week 17. The 18 teams vying for a Super Bowl are the fourth-most in NFL history, and the most since 2008 when 18 teams were also in contention. Out of 16 games this weekend, 13 could have playoff implications. Suffice it to say, Week 17 should be a lot of fun.

NFC Playoff Picture

(X) - clinched playoff berth (Y) - clinched division

Standings

No. 1 - (X) Seattle 12-3

No. 2 - (X) Carolina 11-4

No. 3 - Philadelphia 9-6

No. 4 - Chicago 8-7

No. 5 - (X) San Francisco 11-4

No. 6 - New Orleans 10-5

In the hunt: Arizona 10-5, Green Bay 7-7-1, Dallas 8-7

The No. 3 and No. 4 seeds will be decided Sunday during winner-take-division games between the Philadelphia Eagles and Dallas Cowboys, and Chicago Bears and Green Bay Packers. The teams book-ending the NFC standings could take several permutations, however.

The Seattle Seahawks are currently the No. 1 seed, but could potentially fall to No. 2 with a loss to the St. Louis Rams. The Carolina Panthers would take over the No. 1 seed if they win, the Seahawks lose and the San Francisco 49ers win to create a three-way toe at the top, and force the NFL to resort to tiebreakers. The 49ers could rise all the way to No. 1 from the 5-seed with a win, a Seahawks loss and a Panthers loss.

The New Orleans Saints currently hold the most tenuous playoff spot. They can relieve a lot of pressure by winning. They can climb as high as the No. 5 seed if they beat the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the 49ers lose to the Arizona Cardinals. If the Saints lose and the Cards beat the Niners, the Saints will miss the playoffs and the Cardinals will compete for a championship as the conference's No. 6 seed.

Games to watch

Packers at Bears -- 4:25 p.m. ET, Fox

Winner takes the NFC North and a playoff bid. Loser goes home to stew in their misery. Aaron Rodgers will play for the Packers after missing seven games, and Green Bay is a slight favorite as a result, according to oddsmakers. The Bears have a lot of offensive firepower, however, and have the big benefit of playing at home.

49ers at Cardinals -- 4:25 p.m., Fox

The Cardinals are a big win and a timely Saints loss away from making the playoffs. Of course, there is a chance that this game is ultimately irrelevant to the standings, but with the Saints and Buccaneers playing concurrently, the Cardinals will have to fight for their lives. Don't expect the 49ers to roll over with home-field advantage potentially on the line.

Eagles at Cowboys -- 8:30 p.m., NBC

The Eagles are healthy favorites to win at 9-6 overall and Tony Romo's status still uncertain. The environment favors the Cowboys, however, and late-season NFC East games have a tendency to be wildly unpredictable. If the Eagles win, they will take the No. 3 seed. The Cowboys will take the No. 4 seed if they win and the Bears beat the Packers, and the No. 3 seed if the Packers beat the Bears.

AFC playoff picture

(X) - clinched playoff berth (Y) - clinched division

Standings

No. 1 - (Y) Denver 12-3

No. 2 - (Y) New England 11-4

No. 3 - (Y) Cincinnati 10-5

No. 4 - (Y) Indianapolis 10-5

No. 5 - (X) Kansas City 11-4

No. 6 - Miami 8-7

In the hunt: Baltimore 8-7, San Diego 8-7, Pittsburgh 7-8

The AFC playoff picture is a little more set than in the NFC. The Kansas City Chiefs are the only playoff team in the NFL that cannot change its position in the standings. They will be the AFC's No. 5 seed win or lose, and regardless of results around the league. The rest of the conference's playoff contenders will more or less be rearranging themselves.

The Denver Broncos sew up the No. 1 seed with a win over the Oakland Raiders. If they lose, the New England Patriots can snatch home-field advantage with a win over the Buffalo Bills. If the Pats lose, they could drop as low as the No. 4 seed if the Cincinnati Bengals and Indianapolis Colts win, forcing a tiebreaker between three 11-5 teams.

The battle for the No. 2 seed and a first-round bye could be heated. The Patriots need to lose to make the race meaningful, but the Bengals can take the spot with a win over the Baltimore Ravens. The Colts need to beat Jacksonville Jaguars and have the Patriots and Bengals lose to earn a first-round bye.

Four teams are still vying for the AFC's last wild card spot. The Miami Dolphins are currently penciled in as the No. 6 seed based on odds, but they don't control their own destiny. They need to win and have the Ravens fall to the Bengals to ensure a playoff spot. The Ravens also need a win, and one of the Dolphins or the San Diego Chargers to lose to take the No. 6 seed. The Chargers need a win, while both the Ravens and the Dolphins lose.

If all three contenders win, collectively, the Dolphins will take the final spot in the AFC playoffs on tiebreakers. If all three lose, the Ravens take the last spot.

Got all that? Now ponder this: the Steelers, at 7-8, still have a chance to compete for a Super Bowl. They will need to beat the Cleveland Browns while the Dolphins, Ravens and Chargers all lose, but the door is still slightly open for Mike Tomlin's crew.

Games to watch

Ravens at Bengals -- 1 p.m. ET, CBS

This game is the AFC's equivalent of 49ers-Cardinals. The Ravens need a win to make the playoffs, or else a lot of luck. The Bengals can potentially earn a first-round bye. Both teams will be at their absolute best as a result. Unfortunately for the Ravens, they'll be playing in Cincinnati where the Bengals are 7-0 this season.

Jets at Dolphins -- 1 p.m., CBS

The Dolphins are desperate, and are stumbling into Week 17 off an embarrassing shutout loss to the Bills. The Jets, meanwhile, showed some life last week in a 24-13 win over the Browns. Sunday's game could be Rex Ryan's last hurrah as head coach of the Jets, and you can bet he will have his players whipped into frenzy with a chance to ruin another team's playoff chances.

Broncos at Raiders -- 4:25 p.m., CBS

Not a particularly weighty matchup in terms of playoff implications, but the Broncos still need to lock up the 1-seed and there are a few notable NFL records on the line. With 18 points, the Broncos will become the highest scoring team in NFL history. One week after setting the all-time season passing touchdowns record, Peyton Manning can set the NFL's yardage record with 265 yards passing.

More from SB Nation NFL

• NFL Week 17 picks for every game | Watchability Index

• NFL Power Rankings: 49ers, Seahawks steady at the top

• PFT Commenter's awards: Rex Ryan's big week

• NFL Mock Draft: The silver lining to your team's misery

• Death of a football player: Helmet-to-helmet hit killed Derek Sheely

Classic video games from the 1970s and 1980s have been put online by the Internet Archive and can be played within a web browser.

These boxes should all be standard issue.

Why stop at The Wheel? Let's use all the nerd might of NBA land to create the ultimate tabletop drafting experience.

Basketball nerds got an awesome Festivus gift from Grantland's Zach Lowe and his source this week: The Wheel. The Wheel is not just a medieval torture device; it's an idea to replace the current, maligned draft lottery system, and it's gaining traction in league circles.

Right now, the 14 teams who miss the playoffs all have a chance to win a top-3 pick. In a practical sense, the seven worst teams land those most of the time. The worse you are, the better your chance. The current draft lottery system is two parts being awful (or trading with awful teams) and one part hopper luck. The problem with it is that the two parts awful encourages teams to rebuild by (surprise!) being awful for multiple seasons.

The Wheel, devised by an unknown team official, would get rid of most of the uncertainty surrounding draft positioning. It's basically a two-column spreadsheet. Each team would be assigned a draft position for each of the next 30 years, with an assurance that they'd have a top-5 pick every six years and the No. 1 overall pick once every 30 years. Instead of the Nos. 1, 2 and 3 picks being decided by which horrible team gets lucky, it'd be determined by a chart drawn up in an office. It would strip the incentive (err, sole reason) to field a losing team. Every team would probably fight for the playoffs every season, though you'd still have years in which clubs would be waiting out the expiration of bad contracts and hoping to preserve cap space for a major move. (See: the 2009-10 Knicks.)

My reaction to The Wheel is that it's not complicated enough. As I said, once you determine the order used in The Wheel, it becomes a two-column spreadsheet. That's too simple a system to be used by a complicated, mature league! That's like taking a high school RPG club and forcing them to play Candyland every year.

What we need is something new. We need The Cones of Silvershire.

Already confused? Here's our inspiration.

(Still confused? Maybe skip this Hook.)

***

The Cones of Silvershire is a brand new drafting experience. Thirty GMs participate, and the rules can be altered to accommodate 29 GMs in the case of penalties (Joe Smith'd) or up to 32 in the case of expansion. The game is administered by The Scepter Master, which will be the current NBA commissioner. During play, he must wear a mitre featuring the logos of all participating teams. Think the Pope's hat mixed with one of those amazing 30-patch bomber jackets. Here's a rough prototype.

(Note that the official Silvershire mitre would be created by an experienced milliner.)

Each team patch will be attached with Velcro. The object of the game is to have your patch removed from the Silvershire mitre as quickly as possible. The official NBA logo patch is also attached with Velcro. Only one player can remove it during play: the Usurper. This will be a secret entrant in the game, usually a high-ranking NBA team executive or the D-League commissioner, but it can be any NBA personality. No one knows the identity of the Usurper until he/she reveals him/herself, but there is a 50 percent chance in any given year that it is Derek Fisher. The Scepter Master can use armed guards to protect the patch. Of course, as the Scepter Master, he can also adjust rules to nerf the Usurper's powers and attack his/her weaknesses. But this power is useless until he knows the identity of the Usurper.

If the Usurper successfully removes the NBA logo patch from the Silvershire mitre, he/she immediately becomes the commissioner of the league. Yeah, I know. The stakes are high.

To remove his team's patch from the mitre, a GM must collect four cones. Cones are won by landing in a HotSpot. HotSpots are 12 spaces apart. Here is a rough prototype of the game board.

Turn order is determined by The Wheel. Initial Wheel orientation is determined by lottery. Lottery odds are determined by reverse standings.

On each turn, the GM will choose one of four advancement methods: Tests of Mind, Tests of Luck, Tests of Cunning or Tests of Might.

TESTS OF MIND

The player draws a Tests of Mind card. This card will contain a trivia question relating to basketball stats and a point value. Here's a rough prototype.

There is a 24-second timer and no electronic devices are allowed. The Adjudication Assembly, a group of high-profile Twitter users chosen by the Scepter Master, determine if the answer is correct using Basketball-Reference.com's Play Index. Questions must be answered to three decimal places, if applicable. If the answer given is incorrect, GMs from the same division can blow a whistle to be given a chance to give the correct answer. If successful, they steal the points. If no one answers a Test of Mind correctly, the Lakers are automatically given the points.

If the GM is found cheating using secret communication, he will be disqualified from the game and placed in the lowest available slot in the draft order. If he represents a team based in New York, Los Angeles or Chicago, the Scepter Master may at his discretion roll 1d6 to determine if disqualification is avoided. If the die turns up even, disqualification is avoided and the team advances immediately to the next HotSpot on the board, receiving a cone. If disqualification is not avoided, the team is placed in the lowest available draft slot and the GM is forced to give a public apology to his team's fans.

TESTS OF LUCK

The team's Tank Factor is calculated: [82 - (team losses last season) + (games started by players with a rating of less than 60 in the latest 2K game) * (team's youngest point guard's turnovers per game average) / (number of permanent head coaches fired in the last five calendar years)]. Round to the nearest integer. The team receives the least of that number or 50. One hundred numbered ping pong balls are entered into a hopper. The Scepter Master extracts balls from the hopper one at a time until a ball less than the team's Tank Factor is drawn. The number of spaces the team can move forward is equal to five minus the number of balls drawn. If five balls are drawn without a winner, the team must give its draft pick to the Knicks and consign its best player to the Shooting Stars competition at the next All-Star Weekend.

TESTS OF CUNNING

The GM draws a Test of Cunning card. This card will contain one of the 30 team logos. The GM has five minutes to execute a legal trade with this team. He may need to make an unbalanced trade in order to receive approval; other teams will not necessarily be inclined to help rivals advance in The Cones of Silvershire. If unsuccessful in completing a trade, both teams move backwards two spaces. If successful, the drawing team moves forward a number of spaces equivalent to the absolute value of the projected wins change as ascertained by ESPN's NBA Trade Machine. The team whose card is drawn does not move forward.

For example, if the Heat drew a Test of Cunning card and completed this trade:

... then the Heat would move forward 15 spaces. This would guarantee capture of at least one Cone, but at a serious price.

If the GM draws the card with his team's own logo on it, he must immediate waive one player from his roster with a career PER of at least 15 and a guaranteed contract for the next season. If he has no players under contract with a career PER of at least 15 his owner must sell the team to Chris Hansen and Steve Ballmer, who will immediately relocate the franchise to Seattle. If Seattle has already been awarded a franchise via normal league machinations or through The Cones of Silvershire, the team is relocated to Juneau and becomes the FrostDonkeys.

TESTS OF MIGHT

The GM can choose to draw a Test of Might card. The card will name a former or current Indiana Pacer and a point value. The GM, one of his front office employees or one of the team's coaches must compete with the named Pacer in one of the two contests listed on the card. The contest will be chosen by Twitter users via poll. Here is a rough prototype of the card.

If the named Pacer is a current employee of the drawing team, he must be fired immediately and a Test of Cunning card must be drawn by the GM. The Pacers cannot select a Test of Might card. But once per Cones of Silvershire game, the Pacers may during their turn submit one player of the Scepter Master's choice to an 8-lap go-kart race against a referee of the team's choice. Indiana advances a number of spaces equal to the number of times its player laps or concusses the referee, whichever is greater.

WINNING THE GAME

When a team reaches the fourth HotSpot -- called the Oval of Triumph and signified on the game board by a scepter -- that team's logo patch is removed from the Silvershire mitre and is placed in the highest available slot in the draft order. Therefore, the first team to reach the Oval of Triumph receives the No. 1 pick in the draft, and so on. If a team is disqualified for any reason, it takes the lowest empty slot in the draft order. The game is complete when all draft slots are filled.

CHALLENGE PLAYS

Doc Rivers will hide one 30-sided dice and one marked Sacagawea coin in different NBA arenas during the course of a season. These are in play for all future games of The Cones of Silvershire until used.

A team that finds the 30-sided dice rolls it once under the supervision of the Scepter Master. The GM can then assign any team (including his own) which has not already been placed in the draft order through victory or disqualification into that draft slot. For example, if the dice rolls results in No. 3 and the rolling team has not already won, the GM can choose to place his team there. If he rolls a No. 29, he can place another team there. If a spot is already occupied, that team is booted immediately to the starting point on the game board and its logo patch is returned to the mitre. There is a 15-minute window after the dice roll in which teams can bargain to be placed or not placed. Trades can be completed during this period.

A team that finds the marked Sacagawea coin can flip it thrice in the presence of the Scepter Master. If the coin lands on heads all three times, the flipping team advances immediately to the Oval of Triumph. If the coin lands on heads twice and tails once, the last team to reach the Oval of Triumph is removed from the draft order and placed back at the second HotSpot. If the coin lands on tails twice and heads once, the team does not pay luxury tax for three seasons. If the coin lands on tails all three teams, the game board is reversed and the draft order is cleared, and all teams that have already reached the Oval of Triumph or otherwise found themselves in the draft order are placed back in the Oval and need to reach the starting space to get back into the draft order.

The team that employs Doc Rivers may not complete the quests for the Challenge Plays. Instead, once per game its starting center may throw a dart at the Silvershire mitre from 15 feet. If a team logo patch is hit, that team is placed in the lowest available draft slot and its oldest player must participate in Vegas Summer League, averaging no fewer than 38 minutes per game. If no patch is hit, the team that employs Doc Rivers must convey a second-round pick to the Minnesota Timberwolves and hire David Kahn as a consultant at the NBA average player salary. The Scepter Master can choose to wear the Silvershire mitre during the dart toss or to assign an active All-NBA player to wear it. The latter choice leaves the Scepter Master vulnerable to the Usurper, however.

***

I don't foresee any issues with this, and look forward to the NBA Board of Governors considering this proposal soon. If you have any proposed improvements to the game, let us know in the comments.

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Gal Gadot responds directly to criticism that she's not fit enough to play the iconic superheroine in director Zack Snyder's "Man of Steel" sequel.

U.S. judge finds all pre-1923 Sherlock Holmes stories have lapsed into public domain! Interviews with Vaughan and Staples, Zdarsky, and Graham! Plus more!

Tony Romo has been placed on injured reserve, ruling him out for Week 17 and the postseason if the Cowboys beat the Eagles on Sunday.

Tony Romo will miss Sunday's game between the Dallas Cowboys and the Philadelphia Eagles, and will be placed on injured reserve, according to Mike Fisher of 105.3 The Fan in Dallas. Romo's status for Week 17 was uncertain due to a herniated disk in his back, but now it appears he will undergo surgery instead of trying to gut out an appearance against the Eagles in what is, effectively, the NFC East title game.

Kyle Orton will start in Romo's place, with the recently signed Jon Kitna acting as backup. Orton has not started an NFL game since 2011. Romo's placement on IR means that he will not be available if the Cowboys earn a playoff spot with a win in Philadelphia.

According to Fisher, Romo's slated surgery indicates that the quarterback may be dealing with nerve damage. Romo may have to undergo a partial discectomy, which could extend his recovery time. Thankfully for him, he will have a long offseason to mend.

According to one study, 74 percent of NFL players who underwent lumbar discectomy were able to return to competitive play, and did not show a significant difference in play upon return. Per ESPN's Tim MacMahon, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones said on the radio Friday that Romo is expected to be ready for OTAs this spring.

The Cowboys had hopes that Romo could play this Sunday, and gave him an epidural earlier in the week in hopes of providing a quick fix to the problem. The injection apparently did not result in suitable improvement in Romo's condition, however.

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by jitterypaulson

An anonymous reader notes that Apple has renewed its patent attack against Samsung, asking U.S. District Court Judge Lucy Koh to prohibit Samsung from selling over 20 different phones and tablets. Apple made a similar request after it won a $1 billion judgment in 2012, but Koh did not allow it. An Appeals court later ruled that Apple could resubmit its request if it focused on the specific features at the center of the 2012 verdict, and that's what we're seeing today. Apple's filing said, "Samsung’s claim that it has discontinued selling the particular models found to infringe or design around Apple's patents in no way diminishes Apple’s need for injunctive relief. ... Because Samsung frequently brings new products to market, an injunction is important to providing Apple the relief it needs to combat any future infringement by Samsung through products not more than colorably different from those already found to infringe."

Read more of this story at Slashdot.

An Irvine woman responds to neighbors objecting to her flying a pride flag by lighting her whole home.

Which is awesome.

Story at Shewired.

Australian Asher Wolf's taken to the Guardian to explain why her family is spending Christmas petitioning for humane refugee treatment from the Australian government. Wolf enumerates the conditions under which Australia keeps refugees in its off-shore camps -- conditions that Amenesty considers to be torture, conditions where basic sanitation and health-care are denied to families fleeing war, torture and death threats. Deprived of the shoes, hearing aids, and medicine they managed to smuggle out of their own countries, these refugees, including children, are denied sufficient water, exposed to malaria and TB, and are brutalized into suicide attempts. Gay detainees are sent to camps in PNG, where homosexuality is illegal. Orphans get it even worse -- though the immigration minister Scott Morrison is their legal guardian, these children are left with no one to advocate for them.

According to the UN High Commission on Refugees, the Australian government is spending 1000% more torturing and detaining migrants than it would spend on "community processing" on the mainland. But wasting money on cruelty curries favour with racist voters, so it is the preferred option. For now. But, perhaps, not if Australians in great number write to the minister to explain that his cynical games with innocent human lives will cost him more votes than they win.

When these people arrive at Australian detention centres, they are left with severe sunburn and skin rashes, sitting in clothing drenched with faeces and urine while they await interrogation. Their shoes, glasses and hearing aids are taken away. Any medication they are carrying when they arrive is also confiscated – and often it is months before it is replaced.

Refugees at offshore detention centres sleep in cots on dirt floor, in 50 degree heat, with limited numbers of fans. Drinking water in some camps is being rationed to dangerously low levels – only 500ml per day. The US Centre for Disease Control states that it is possible to get typhoid in Nauru’s water. The detainees are constantly at risk of malaria – yet doctors recommend that children younger than five and pregnant women not take anti-malaria medicine, which is unsuitable for them.

Amnesty found that detainees on Manus Island “have fainted from heat stroke because they are forced to queue for hours in the sun for food.” When the Manus camp flooded, detainees found snakes in their rooms. The toilets are routinely broken or lacking in number, and the conditions in one dormitory were so bad that Amnesty International "considers the accommodation of asylum seekers there a violation of the prohibition on torture and other ill-treatment.”

Why I'm writing to Scott Morrison this Christmas – and why you should too

(Image: asacm3, a Creative Commons Attribution Share-Alike (2.0) image from kareneliot's photostream)

As 2013 comes to an end, we asked you to share Your Best Shot 2013. We loved seeing your interesting, beautiful and thought-provoking photos!

In this edition of The Weekly Flickr, we put together some of our favorites, and we hope they inspire you to get out there and take more photos.

We can’t wait to see what’s behind your lenses in 2014!

After you watched the video, be sure to check out the photos in the Your Best Shot 2013 group and the Your Best Shot 2013 galleries curated by Yahoo Editorial.

Photos from rcrhee, whooosh., philippe julien, ~andre, Stephen Walford Photography, rafimmedia Photography, Rainer Hamburg, and New Dan. Also check out Yahoo’s 2013 Year in Review for more of this year’s highlights.

Do you want to be featured on The Weekly Flickr? We are looking for your photos that amaze, excite, delight and inspire. Share them with us in the The Weekly Flickr Group, or tweet us at @TheWeeklyFlickr.

(click the image for larger version, or click here for even larger)

Tools and tricks: Official HD texture patch, antialiasing (injected FXAA w/ texture pre-sharpening), free camera, time stop, time and weather control, custom FOV.