Cowboy Who?

1. Just relax!

2. Go on a vacation.

3. Have you tried charting your cycle?

4. Offer a libation to the goddess of vegetation.

5. Get drunk. I can’t even think about a Señor Frog margarita without getting immediately knocked up after vomiting into a clogged sink.

6. Have your partner spill his seed on pure land where predators do not kill and men do not age. Are you with me so far? Okay, yeah, so you take all the semen and bury it. From there, eight plants will grow, and I know what you’re thinking… “Yum.” But seriously, DO NOT EAT THE PLANTS. Eventually, your partner will wander through, get curious, and eat the plants despite being explicitly told not to. That will make me fucking livid. At this point, I will curse him, you, and all of humanity before departing the Earth. Now you can win me over and bring me back, but only if you send a fox. In the meantime, go get your partner. He’s going to be really apologetic about eating those jizz plants, mostly because they made him crazy sick. Place his head next to your vagina and have him whisper a list of his physical ailments directly into it. You’ll start popping out baby deities with each complaint. Lower back pain! Deity. Eczema! Another deity. It sounds like a lot, but it’s cheaper and less effort than IVF.

7. Have you tried acupuncture?

8. If you want kids so bad, take mine! In particular, take the younger one with the vacant stare.

9. Stay on your back for 15 minutes after sex.

10. It’ll happen the second you stop trying.

11. Find yourself the hoe of creation. That’s a farming tool. Why? What were you imagining? So, you’ll hoe some land, preferably pristine land where eyeball diseases have been eradicated. If you’re lucky, you’ll uncover some severed human heads in the dirt. This is a good thing and means you’re on the right track. Take clay from the land and mix it with the flesh and blood of a slain minor deity. I should back up. You’ll need to slay a minor deity. Do this before the hoeing. Then you’ll have what you need to create a new human. You could make a man with weak hands. Or you could create a man with sparkling eyes just to turn around and blind him. Of course, you could just make yourself a baby, but where’s the sport in that?

12. Can’t you just adopt?

13. Have you tried a penis in your vagina?

Something that catches out everybody the first time they encounter it is that Windows device-independent bitmaps are upside down, in the sense that the first row of pixels corresponds to the bottom scan line of the image, and subsequent rows of pixels continue upward, with the final row of pixels corresponding to the topmost scan line.

Rather than calling these bitmaps upside down bitmaps, the less judgmental term is to call them bottom-up bitmaps.

Okay, so why are device-independent bitmaps bottom-up?

For compatibility with OS/2.

In OS/2 Presentation Manager, the origin of the graphics coordinate space is at the bottom left corner of the screen, with the y-coordinate increasing as you go toward the top of the screen. This is the mathematically correct coordinate system, which removes a lot of confusion when you start doing mathematics with your graphics.

It is my understanding that computer graphics involves a lot of mathematics.

If you align the graphics coordinate space with mathematical convention, then all the mathematical formulas carry over without having to introduce occasional negative signs to account for the reverse handedness. Rotation angles are always counter-clockwise. Transformation matrices operate in the way you learned in linear algebra class. Everything works out great.

Of course, if you aren’t one of those deeply mathematical people, then having the y-coordinate increase upward means that the order of reading is opposite the order of increasing coordinates.

Which is weird.

Windows 2.0 and OS/2 started out as good friends, and Windows 2.0 adopted OS/2’s bitmap format in order to foster interoperability between them. As we all know, that friendship soured over time, but the file format decision lingers on.

The post Why are device-independent bitmaps upside down? appeared first on The Old New Thing.

This post, a creepy customer complained my employees aren’t friendly enough , was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes:

I am a hospitality director for a winery. A valued guest — “ Bartholomew” — called, saying that he hated to do it because he loves our wines, but that he would like to quit his membership. He said that the last time he visited, one of the employees was quite rude to him and in prior visits he wasn’t treated that well, either. I was dubious because I have excellent staff who go above and beyond for all of our guests. Typically, staff in a tasting room are well educated and in the business because it’s a love, and certainly not to make the big bucks (wineries are notorious for low wages). It’s rare to get a legitimate complaint of this manner; in the two years I’ve managed this staff, we’ve had two complaints, in both of which the customers were way out of line, which often happens when alcohol is involved.

Bartholomew named a specific employee. She said that while standing at the counter, he moved his mask down because his glasses were fogging up and the employee shouted at him that he had to put the mask back on. He felt that there were nicer ways to say that. He was told where he could sit and then had to wait a long time for the wine tasting to be brought to the table, virtually nothing was said about the wines, and the employee never came back until he and his guest stood up to leave. He said that on prior visits he’s been treated indifferently and did not feel welcomed at all, and felt that he was more of a burden.

While not making excuses for the employee, I told him that I did want him to understand that mask wearing is a constant battle and that niceties left ages ago. However, the employee should not have shouted at him. And unfortunately, the specific hour he visited is the witching hour for our business and sometimes tastings go awry. Again, the employee should not have ignored him. I offered to personally do a private tasting for him the next time he visited (typically a high-value experience). The conversation was jovial and ended on a positive note.

An hour later, Bartholomew called back and said that he wanted to re-instate his membership, though he did not speak to me. Just as I was congratulating myself on my superior customer service skills, one of my employees says, “Just so you know, this guy is super creepy.” When asked why, the employee (young, cute, married) said that another employee (young, cute, unmarried) refuses to be alone with him. In an informal, impromptu meeting, I asked all of the women about him, without giving a reason why. One employee said she started wearing a (fake) engagement ring so he’d leave her alone. One time, an employee walked into the tasting room to find him with half his shirt off, showing off a scar to another unrelated female guest. Another employee (50+, attractive, married) said it wasn’t so much what he said, but that there were always tones of sexual overtures. As we’re having this meeting, a brand new employee (first day with us) walked in, heard a snippet and said, “Oh, are you talking about Creepy Bartholomew? We had problems with him at my last winery.”

What the hell do I do now? I absolutely cannot ask the staff to serve someone who makes them that uncomfortable; I’m not worried for myself because I know how to shut that behavior down pretty quickly. Given all this information from the staff, I now see why he didn’t feel welcomed when he visited, so I’m not sure how to discipline or even if I should. A male colleague, who I had previously respected, said, “They’re professionals. They need to put that aside and serve him” and that I should chat with the customer to let him know he needs to behave around these women. I inherently disagree with this assessment. We do not have any male employees who I could otherwise assign to the customer. We have a male owner, but he doesn’t really do tastings (although certainly can). The customer is 55-60, unmarried, and former military (hence the scar display).

How lovely that your male colleague — who almost certainly doesn’t deal with being sexually harassed on the reg or with the power dynamics that come from being a woman in the service industry serving older men who feel entitled to creep on them — is so certain that his female colleagues should “just deal with it.” And let’s take a moment to ponder what led him to think putting up with sexual harassment is part of being “a professional.”

Personally, I’d recommend calling Bartholomew back and saying you spoke with your employees about his complaints and in doing so learned that he has made multiple women on your staff uncomfortable and so unfortunately you cannot reinstate his membership.

If you don’t have the authority to do that, can you talk with your boss (the owner?) and work out what you can do in situations like this one (not just for Bartholomew but with any other customer it comes up with in the future)? Ideally you want the owner to give you the authority to ban customers like this. If he’s worried about bad word-of-mouth, point out that you’re risking bad word-of-mouth either way — you can risk it from the guy harassing the women on your staff or you can risk it from customers who see your staff subjected to that. Point out, too, that you have a legal responsibility to prevent employees from being sexually harassed by customers; now that you know about it, you can’t tell them to just deal with it.

(Speaking of which, it sounds like you need to educate that other male colleague — the “just deal with it” guy — about sexual harassment law too. Doubly so if he manages anyone.)

If your boss doesn’t want to authorize you to decline to serve creeps … well, push back. He probably wouldn’t be willing to say there’s nothing a customer could do that should get them banned (or at least refused service on that visit), so try to pin him down on where the line is. This doesn’t need to be a big, confrontational thing — you can approach it like any other work problem that you’re trying to solve collaboratively since you need to be clear on where those lines are to do your job well.

If your boss still won’t budge, one option is to make sure everyone knows that if this customer visits again, you will be the one assigned to his table (although you’ll need a separate plan for times when you’re off). This isn’t an ideal solution, but if it’s the only one you’ve got, it’s there.

You asked whether anyone needs to be disciplined for this guy for making this guy feel unwelcome in the past and the answer to that is an unequivocal no. You want to support your staff when they’re being harassed, not penalize them for keeping a distance from a harasser. But you do need to train them on what to do if this happens in the future. It sounds like they thought they just had to deal with it as best they could, while keeping a distance, which means you’ll need to create a better system for them to handle it if it comes up again (which could be anything from telling him they won’t be able to serve him if the behavior continues to alerting you to kicking him out, depending on what you decide).

This post, how to help coworkers who have been in the office all along , was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

If you’ve been working from home but will be returning to the office at some point in the future, have you thought about what you can do to make life easier for any colleagues who have been there all along and who have been shouldering a higher level of risk and burden?

In the comments on Monday’s post, readers offered these suggestions:

Advocate for them

• “If there’s a big scramble for holiday time in your office, suggest that the people who worked on site the whole time should choose first (goes double if they’ve had to work with the public in this time).”

• “Advocate to management to give thanks, gift cards, bonuses, an extra vacation day, or whatever to the individuals who worked in person and make it clear it’s for people who worked in office.”

• “When it comes to advocating for extra PTO (which is a wonderful idea!), keep in mind that when you are keeping wheels turning, it can be extra difficult to use even regularly accrued PTO. Consider things like cross-training on critical tasks or whether your office might be able to support temps….anything to make it easier for essential employees to actually step away for a minute.”

• “Help cover their duties so they can take a longer vacation, if that makes sense for your respective jobs.”

Even out the workload

• “If someone was working in the office and had to take on parts of your job so that you could WFH, thank them and take back those duties that were done for you. I can see how it sucks, but it sucked having to do others’ duties on top of ones normal job. Don’t gripe, don’t whine, don’t moan about how you don’t like having to do what seems like “more work” than you had to do from home. In office folks have carried that load long enough.”

• “Ask if there’s anything they’ve taken on since this all started that you can help with or take over. Especially if you’re a smaller company, there are a lot of responsibilities that don’t fit neatly with one person or group, so there might not be anyone who marches in and says, ‘Naturally, I’ll be taking back responsibility for the end-of-day shutdown procedure’ or ‘Give me back the mailbox key–that’s my job.’ Keep your eyes open for that kind of stuff even if no one says anything. They might not even be aware of how much morphed into their responsibility. And if you have more standing, raise things up the ladder. ‘Now that accounting is back in the building, seems like they should take back the scanning from the manufacturing team.’”

Expect things have changed

• “Follow any new procedures and don’t grumble about them, and encourage other returners to do the same – for instance, we have had some staff in the office throughout, we’ve got used to the arrangements such as no more than one person at a time in the kitchen area, waiting so we don’t pass each other in the corridor etc. – it’s a bit more time consuming but it gets pretty old when those who have been WFH / furloughed and are coming back complain about it.”

• “Don’t assume that everything will be exactly like it was last time you were in person or that everything should go back to the way it was. Be open to changes in processes which may have happened when you were out, including those which are not simply Covid-related measures or changes.”

• “There will be a new culture at work! Its like you have a new job and your job is to figure it out and not constantly comment how in ‘old job’ they did not do this! Your job is to figure it out with the least disruption to others and to do the job.”

• “Folks coming back, please don’t question or demand explanations for every little thing. These decisions were made in a context you didn’t have. By all means, ask for clarification when you need it, but ask yourself first (1) if the issue is important enough to have someone explain a year’s worth of background and (2) whether the answer is just going to be a pointless ‘because that’s how we made it work, given the circumstances.’”

• “On a related point, when it comes to specific tasks, keep in mind that (probably) your colleagues were doing the best they could and that might mean you need to do some clean up. Please be gracious when you can.”

Follow your office’s safety rules

• “Follow your local guidelines on mask wearing and social distancing (or your workplace’s guide if it’s more stringent) and don’t complain about it!”

• “Wear your mask when you come back, even when vaccinated. Nowadays, it’s difficult to tell those who are ‘anti-mask’ versus ‘vaccinated, therefore unmasked.’”

Recognize people’s work

• “Is there specific way people working on-site helped you out during the pandemic? If so, specifically acknowledge them for that! I love it when I get specific praise (especially from superiors) because it signals they’re paying attention to what I’m doing, whereas general praise such as ‘thanks for all your hard work’ feels hollow to me when said too often. “

• “If you’ve been WFH – try to thank the person or people who have picked up the extra work to enable that to happen, whether it’s been scanning physical mail to you, dealing with face-to-face enquiries or whatever. If you can, be explicit in recognizing their extra work both to them an to any manager.”

Don’t complain to them

• “As a frontline worker who worked terrible hours while pregnant and unvaccinated (resident doctor, saw Covid patients), I would love it if people would understand that…yes, your company isn’t managing the return to work well and yes, your problems are real and valid, but choose who you complain to! When people who’ve been in person the whole time say something to the effect of ‘I can’t stand listening to my wfh colleagues complain about being back in person,’ maybe don’t sputter say, ‘But my problems are valid, too!’ We know. It doesn’t invalidate your problems to understand that this colleague is not the person to complain to. Be sensitive! Your colleague may have also had serious issues with health, childcare, elderly parents, mental health, the state of the world, and was not able to stop commuting, wearing pants, and interacting with the (sometimes terrible) public.”

• “Don’t talk about the tragedy of wearing clothes.”

• “Speak up when you hear people making jokes or complaining (about having to come back) so that those who were in the office the whole time don’t have to. Something like, ‘Yeah, those perks are hard to give up, I’m sorry that x person did not get them’ or ‘I’m aware x did not get them and I’m thankful they were here so we got them, thanks x!’”

Other things

• “What I wish my coworkers didn’t do: Stand super close when talking, monopolize my time with their desire to catch up (just ask if I want to take a break and chat instead), go in for a hug, challenge every decision made during their absence all at once, foist their ego hits from being absent on me, be really loud. Many of us have gotten used to the noise level in your absence — it will take us time to truly readjust.”

• “Don’t barge into someone’s office (this is really weird, in the last 2 weeks I’ve had like 5 instances of this, all from people who were WFH, I assume you wouldn’t but in case you forgot not all rooms are yours, knock and wait.)”

• “Don’t assume your experience of WFH was universal.”

• “I am personally irked by the convos about how strange it is to be back at work … They sound like they just got rescued from a cave and want me to be interested and amazed at their experience being back at work. It sounds like this: ‘Hi, its been a whole year or 15 months since I’ve been here! Isn’t that amazing! It’s so different! They moved x … ‘ or anything indicating time seemed to move on without them. Followed by an expectation that we discuss and that I would be just as interested and engaged in their experience of coming back. I honestly cannot say why this irks me so much but it does.”

• “Do be patient if we walk around as if there’s no one else here, I can go my entire day and not see anyone else, I’m a little worried that I’ll keep walking around like that (head down, brain elsewhere, not paying attention to where I’m going), if I walk into you it’s because this is the path I walked for the last year-plus. Not because I’m trying to get you sick.”

• “Recognize that those who stayed will have got used to an emptier building, quieter atmosphere, possibly greater independence / less need to compromise when using resources / equipment – give them time to adjust and try not to get annoyed or antagonistic.”

Street Kids
Cole
1972

Submitter: This book is a time capsule and not in a good way. Being 50 years old, it is no longer helpful to the subject. Maybe in a research library it might have some worth. This book is a classic case of a white man going into the inner city to save the kids he believes need to be saved. He lets four kids give their first hand account of their lives and that’s about all that was interesting. Finally, the police passage could have been written today…

Holly: Public libraries: please do better for your patrons. This helps no one.

The post Street Kids appeared first on Awful Library Books.

Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
It was either whale through krill or a cormorant swallowing fish.

Today's News:

Companies and state governments — in what is perhaps a mix of commercial interest and civic-minded altruism — are offering prizes to encourage vaccination. United Airlines is the latest to do so.

(Image credit: Jeff Chiu/AP)

Remember the absolute shit fit that Donald Trump threw after Twitter placed warning labels on some of his tweets about mail-in ballots? That resulted in the ridiculous executive order to undermine Section 230, even though all Twitter had done at the time was add more speech to Trump's tweets and pointed out that they were presenting misleading information.

To some extent, however, we should be thankful that the power of the US President is at least somewhat limited, or we might have ended up with a situation like what happened in India this week. The story begins similarly to what happened with Twitter labeling some Trump tweets. In this case, there was something of a political spat in India, where the Indian National Congress (more or less the opposition political party, not a legislative body as the name might imply), complained to Twitter that the leading BJP party was spreading "forged documents" on Twitter. They asked Twitter to suspend the accounts of some BJP leaders who were supposedly spreading those documents.

The "forged documents" were basically misleading claims by the BJP that Congress was using a "toolkit" to undermine the Indian government's response to the raging pandemic.

After apparently reviewing this request to suspend those accounts, Twitter instead took what should be seen as a perfectly reasonable middle ground approach, and flagged the tweets of a BJP spokesperson noting that they were "manipulated media." The "manipulated media" flag is one of the first that Twitter started using in its attempt to flag misinformation and it has been used for well over a year now in a variety of contexts.

Now matter how you look at it, this is a "more speech" approach to dealing with potential misinformation. Twitter is adding its own speech to the tweets, noting that what they show appears to be manipulated. This hardly seems like a reason for law enforcement to get involved -- but get involved they did. Police first sent a notice to Twitter demanding an explanation over why it placed the "manipulated media" tag on that tweet, and then followed it up by raiding two separate Twitter offices in order to conduct a "search" for such information.

Of course, Twitter has all of its employees working from home these days (especially in India where there is still a massive COVID outbreak), so that wasn't particularly effective. But this is also against the backdrop of the Indian government just recently threatening to throw Twitter employees in jail if they didn't remove various criticisms of the Indian government, including over both protests and its handling of the pandemic.

This is all kind of terrifying when you look at it. It seems like a blatant intimidation technique from the ruling government trying to stifle not only criticism, but to suppress attempts to fact check some of its own disinformation.

Juneteenth celebrates the day slavery ended in Texas, June 19, 1865. Pulitzer Prize-winning historian Annette Gordon-Reed studies the early American republic and the legacy of slavery.

New Cyanide and Happiness Comic

“The Texas Senate voted along party lines to limit how public school teachers handle discussions of race and racism in the classroom. House Bill 3979 was spawned by Republican distrust of ‘critical race theory,’ which explores how racism shaped America… [As a result] teachers who discuss current events or controversial issues of public policy would be required to ‘explore that topic from diverse and contending perspectives without giving deference to any one perspective,’ according to the bill.” — Austin American-Statesman, 5/24/21

Overview

Our primary goal as educators is to ensure our students understand that Leatherface’s contributions to the fabric of this great nation are worthy of celebration without feeling any discomfort, guilt, or anguish on account of their status as descendants of Leatherface. While Leatherface is indeed a product of his time and circumstances, we must insist on rejecting the dangerously divisive notion that he is inherently violent.

Objective(s)

Students will be able to:

• Identify the abundant and unique strengths of Leatherface, like his cool apron or when he donated all of those meat pies to the Llano County Nursing and Rehabilitation Center
• Examine Leatherface as a human being separate from his cannibalism
• Debate the diverse and contending perspectives of wearing someone else’s skin as a mask

Essential Question

How do we investigate both sides of the issue when it comes to wearing someone else’s skin as a mask?

Bell-Ringer

In what way would you describe a person who spent years working hard at a slaughterhouse, consistently makes it a priority to put a home-cooked meal on the table for their family, and even finds the time and energy to serve as the primary caretaker for an elderly grandparent?

Teacher Notes: Have each student share their answer aloud with the class. The acceptable answers here are, “I would describe them as a good person,” OR “I would describe them as a good American person.”

If any students offer a more nuanced perspective based on their pre-existing knowledge of Leatherface from their “woke” parents, please scowl, roll your eyes, and deliver a response that includes the words, “our history,” “legacy,” and “heritage.”

Transition to the central activity of today’s lesson by displaying a photograph of Leatherface on the Promethean board. Ask students to write down what they see.

Acceptable answers include:

• A man
• An integral part of the Llano County community
• A man with someone else’s face on his face

Academic Debate: Is it ever ok to wear someone else’s skin as a mask?

Have students count off in twos. The ones will be in favor of wearing someone else’s skin as a mask, and the twos will be against wearing someone else’s skin as a mask.

Provide the following list of competing rationale to guide students in their preparation for the structured academic debate:

Yes, if:

• You’ve recently lost your job at a slaughterhouse due to technological advances and this is how you blow off steam
• Your family doesn’t seem to mind
• You are incredibly thoughtful in using every part of the body
• You think that the other person will be better off without their face

No, if:

• You think everyone should be allowed to keep their own face
• ???

Teacher Notes: Have two students at a time come up to the front of the classroom. These should go quickly.

Summative Assessment

Have students write a five-paragraph essay detailing the merits of Leatherface’s generous contributions to Llano County, the great state of Texas, and the United States of America.

Please note that, per House Bill 3979, at no time may you encourage any student to lobby for legislation, engage in political activism, or advocate for social change, especially not as it pertains to calling for the end to wearing other people’s faces as masks.

Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
I'm hoping our AI rulers in the future will occasionally give us a milkbone and pat our heads.

Today's News:

This post, someone keeps farting in important client meetings , was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes:

I work in upper-middle management at a large business and entertainment events company and recently we got back to regular face-to-face client meetings. Over the last few weeks, we’ve been having some intense and lengthy meetings in our office with a potential local client, which could really take our company to the next level if it works out. However, a rather awkward problem has arisen.

During these meetings, which tend to last all afternoon, someone breaks wind, silently, usually more than once. The odor is, frankly, overwhelming, yet there is not much in the way of any clear reaction from anyone in the room. I have noticed some people very, very discreetly eye each other suspiciously. But it’s quite a formal and stiff atmosphere, with several very serious and no-nonsense senior executives present from both sides, so it appears if people are just doing their best to ignore this rude interruption. During one of the wind-breaking incidents, a junior member of staff sat with her elbow on the table and put her hand over her hand and mouth trying to make it look like she was just resting her head, while another junior member looked uncomfortable but kept her head down and stared at her notepad. On another occasion I noticed one of the clients frowning and looking out of the corner of their eye, but frankly I dare not catch anyone’s eye, so I always quickly avert my gaze to avoid any awkwardness or, god forbid, suspicion.

Everything at our company is business-like and relations are generally good. I know everyone reasonably well on our side, so I had assumed the culprit was from the would-be client’s team. But imagine my horror when, after the clients had left our last meeting leaving our team to continue the discussion among ourselves, the silent boardroom farter struck again! I was incredulous — there were three senior male executives in the room and two junior female members of staff who were not always present at other meetings. So I am fairly certain the culprit is a senior management figure at our firm.

I’m completely at a loss as to how to deal with this. I’m quite ambitious and have invested a lot of energy into making this project happen. So I can’t believe that a senior company member is behaving in such a rude manner and potentially jeopardizing it by acting so unprofessionally towards potential partners. The potential clients cannot have possibly failed to notice the smell, and I can only assume they are simply being polite and professional by ignoring it. However, I am just afraid that there are limits to anyone’s tolerance and that sooner rather than later they will decided one way or another to end their interest in working with us.

This is just such a strange problem. How on earth can voice my concerns to my superiors?

The good news is, you really don’t need to do anything about this.

These meetings include executives who are senior to you. If one of them is concerned and wants to figure out a way to address this, they can attempt to do so.

But there’s a pretty good chance that nothing that can be done.

I am amused by the idea of someone constantly farting in an important business meeting just because they’re rude or anti-social or don’t care about being professional, but it’s more likely that if it’s happening this often it’s because they can’t control it.

A number of medical conditions can cause that to happen with some frequency. It’s not a particularly pleasant thing to be around, but if someone is dealing with a medical condition, you just have to carry on. I realize that having it happen in client meetings is not great, but you can’t order someone to stop being gassy if they can’t help it. (If it’s really out of control, there might be a conversation about having them call into the meeting instead … but again, there are people senior to you in these meetings, so you can happily leave this to them to navigate. There are times when “above my pay grade” is a comforting mantra.)

Meanwhile, though, you could put an air purifier in the room and see if that helps.

Become a Patron!

Die 6

Hard Seven

DH8

The Die and the Hard

Rain, Rain, Go Away, Die Hard Again Another Day

Die Hard in Hell

All McClanes Go to Heaven

John McClane

Holly Gennaro

Holly Gennaro 2: Holly Harder

Old Man McClane

Johnny Die Hard

Once Upon a Time We Lived Free and Died Hard, But Those Days Are Over and Now All We Have Are the Memories and They Don’t Even Feel Real Anymore

Mister Cowboy

Dr. Die Hard

You Only Die Twice

Live and Let Harden

Diefall

Dies Wide Hard

A Streethard Named Die

A Die Hard on Elm Street

Simon Says

Simon Says Get Hard

Good. Now Die

(Cackles) I Didn’t Say “Simon Says”

Simon Says Die with a Hard-On

D Nine

H10: H One Oh

D1H1

Ode to Joy

Die Hard into Irrelevance

Die Hard into Obscurity

Die Hard into Nothingness

Die Hard into Old Age and Then You Die

Sometimes I Wake Up and Have a Panic Attack Because I Remember That One Day I’m Going to Die Hard

It’s Really Fucking Hard When Someone You Love Dies

It’s a Good Day to Live Free Because You Can Always Die Hard with a Vengeance Later

Hard’s Just a State of Mind. Die Is Forever

All We Have Is Hard

Die Hard Faster

Die Hard Stronger

Okay, Bruce, I Know You’re Not Having a Great Day, But on This Next Take Could You Please Just Die Hard with, I Don’t Know, a Little More Enthusiasm? I Mean, You’re an Actor, Right? Do Me a Favor — Act Like You Want to Be Here. Act Like You Want to Be on This Set Right Now. Just Give Me Something We Can Use. Give Me Anything. This Is a Die Hard Flick. It’s a Die Hard Flick and You Are NOT Dying Your Hardest. Please… Die Harder

Goddamn It, Bruce!

D13 HARD

D1E H4RD

D1E HAR5

D1E 6ARD

Die Hard

Die/Hard

Die x Hard

John McClane vs. Die Hard

John Dies

Die vs. Hard

This Is It: The Ultimate Showdown — Die Locked in Battle with Hard for All of Eternity

The Scales Have Tipped in Die’s Favor

A Little More Hard and a Little Less Die to Balance It Out

But Not Too Much Hard

The Two Forces, Die and Hard, Must Always Be Equal

Die Kills Hard

Die Wins

Die Always Wins

SCHOOL DISTRICT: As this school year comes to a close, we would like to thank you for all the hard work you put in over the course of this truly unprecedented year. Your perseverance and willingness to go the extra mile for your students have not gone unnoticed. To that end, we would like to hear from you. Please let us know what we can do to improve your lives as the school year draws to a close!

TEACHERS: Thanks. It’s nice to get some positive feedback.

SCHOOL DISTRICT: You’re welcome!

TEACHERS: Yeah, well, this year has been completely exhausting. We’ve all pretty much had to make everything up from scratch, and—

SCHOOL DISTRICT: Great, got it, summer lesson-planning professional development is added to your calendar. We’ll make it four days, so you can really dig in and come into next school year ready to rock!

TEACHERS: No, no. That’s not what we mean. We’re tired. Really tired because we’ve been working beyond our normal hours even more than usual. Which, you know, we’ve all seen the studies about unpaid teacher overtime, even if some of us pretend they don’t exist.

SCHOOL DISTRICT: Got it, got it! We’ll also add a session about streamlining your workload and time management. That shouldn’t take more than two or three days. Have to be efficient with our time after all!

TEACHERS: No. GOD, NO. Will you… Can we just finish a sentence? We are tired, is what we’re trying to say. Exhausted. Many of us have had COVID. Some of us died. Many of us had friends and family members and colleagues who died. And we are tired. And we know, next year, that we’re going to come back to kids who are so far behind where they would have been and—

SCHOOL DISTRICT: Oh goodness, you are so right. Always thinking of the kids. You have such good hearts! We will schedule some summer sessions on how to accelerate learning and also draft some of you to teach additional catch-up sessions to any kids wishing to sign up.

TEACHERS: No. No. No. No. We know how to do our jobs. We know what we’re doing. Next year will be hard, but we can do it. We just need a chance to rest. That’s all we want.

SCHOOL DISTRICT: You are so right, again! So, so, so right. Let’s take a look… Yes, the summer calendar is pretty full with all these professional development sessions you’ve requested, but look at that, there’s a long weekend at the beginning of July. You should get out of town. Lesson-plan from a cabin in the woods!

TEACHERS: [Look up retirement paperwork. Consider going back to school. Consider moving back in with parents. Remember a friend with a landscaping business who’s always looking for extra help.]

A reader question:

I manage field sales reps. I flew in for a scheduled “field ride” with an employee and upon arrival she let me know that she had a “doctor’s appointment” and wouldn’t be available for the field ride.

I sat around the city all day long until meeting the employee for dinner at 6:00 that night, then I caught a flight that next morning. I never questioned the whereabouts or the all-day doctor appointment (maybe it is something serious, who knows?). Instincts tell me that the employee didn’t have a “doctor’s appointment” and is either working an additional job or has an interview with another company. Does that employee have to take an official day off?

To read my answer, click here: I Was Ditched for a Doctor’s Appointment

The post I Was Ditched for a Doctor’s Appointment appeared first on Evil HR Lady.

‣ Thank you, Bonnie Bees, for making this video possible: https://www.patreon.com/cgpgrey

‣ Discuss this video: https://www.reddit.com/r/cgpgrey

## Related Videos
More Grey Goes Outside: https://bit.ly/3fH2Ruy

## Special Thanks
Antepavilion
https://www.antepavilion.org/

Jim Stephenson (photo permission)
www.clickclickjim.com
https://www.youtube.com/c/StephensonAnd

PUP Architects (H-VAC design)
https://www.puparchitects.com/

## Crowdfunders
Steven Snow, Ben Delo, Bob Kunz, Nevin Spoljaric, Bobby, Donal Botkin, BN-12, Ben Schwab, Richard Jenkins, Phil Gardner, Steven Grimm, Chris Chapin, Martin, Andrew Bereza, Rebecca Wortham, Marco Arment, Colin Millions, سليمان العقل, emptymachine, Jason Lewandowski, Saki Comandao, George Lin, Henry Ng, rictic, David Tyler, Jordan Earls, Nick Fish, Nick Gibson, Tyler Bryant, Xueqi, Oliver Steele, iulus, Kermit Norlund, Alex Simonides, Julien Dubois, Christopher Mutchler, Derek Bonner, Mikko, Orbit_Junkie, Ron Bowes, Derek Jackson, Tómas Árni Jónasson, Nicholas Welna, Bear, chrysilis, David Palomares, Drago175, Emil, Esteban Santana Santana, Freddi Hørlyck, John Rogers, Peter Lomax, Rhys Parry, ShiroiYami, Tristan Watts-Willis, Veronica Peshterianu, Dag Viggo Lokøen, John Lee, Maxime Zielony, Elizabeth Keathley, Birdstryke, Rene Duedam

## Music

24 Caprices for Solo Violin, Op.1
- Capriccio n.16 Op.1 in G minor (presto)
- Capriccio n.2 Op.1 in B minor (moderato)
- Capriccio n.5 Op.1 in A minor (agitato)
- Capriccio n.7 Op.1 in E minor (posato)
- Capriccio n.17 Op.1 in Be (sostenuto-andante)
- Capriccio n.15 Op.1 in E minor (posato)
- Capriccio n.6 Op.1 in G minor (lento)
- Capriccio n.18 Op.1 in in C (corrente-allegro)

Composed by Niccolò Paganini
Performed by Jonathan Vered
https://musopen.org/

Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
Boy there's another philosophical problem toppled like an unbalanced bowling pin. You people need to work harder.

Today's News:

New Cyanide and Happiness Comic

Two stories from our Indicator team about the sometimes-unlikely people who shape what we buy and what we do. | Subscribe to our weekly newsletter here.

New Cyanide and Happiness Comic

New Cyanide and Happiness Comic

Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
I wonder how many times people have gotten a divorce that could've been avoided with a timely granola bar.

Today's News:

Go to http://upstart.com/cinemassacre to let them know we sent you! Thanks to Upstart for sponsoring!

Enjoy the finale of me playing my 3-year-old daughter's Mario Maker 2 stages!

Follow me and the crew:
James - https://twitter.com/cinemassacre
Justin - http://justysilverman.com/
Kieran - https://twitter.com/Kieeeeern

New AVGN Video Game:
http://avgngame.com

Shirts, DVDs, and Blu-rays:
https://store.screenwavemedia.com/collections/cinemassacre

#MarioMaker2 #JamesRolfe #Cinemassacre

An LGR Retrospective on the Cybiko: a neon PDA-like handheld device providing wireless mobile computing for tweens and teens! This episode's got it all, folks. Tech history, monochrome gaming, a road trip, unboxing, teardown/repair, dumb 2000s marketing, wireless chat rooms, Frankie Muniz, Windows 98 serial cable shenanigans and more. CYBIKO.

● Check out Luke's channel and related video here:
https://www.youtube.com/c/lukeisafinename
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6ewT_G04F8

● LGR links:
https://patreon.com/LazyGameReviews
https://twitter.com/LazyGameReviews
https://facebook.com/LazyGameReviews

● Here's that video collection of Cybiko news coverage:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhHn9ptfHgE

● Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound:
https://www.epidemicsound.com

#LGR #Retro #Handheld