Episode #798 - February 8, 2022 by The Stranger

Ah, Valentine’s Day. This year, Dan will finally teach you how to keep it spicy…very, very spicy. Let’s tuck in.

Inevitable divorce: A man with a history of divorce in his family was chatting with a friend about how he would consider marriage when he could afford to get divorced. But his boyfriend of three years overheard and now there’s hell to pay.

A lesbian bought a delightful dildo to use on her girlfriend. But guess what. They broke up! Does our caller have to throw away the sex toy, still in its box? And does she always have to be the one to buy them?

On the Magnum version of the show, have your Dear John letter written by a pro. Dan talks to Justine Ang Fonte, a ghostwriter who will happily write the texts you dread to send.

And, a lesbian is in that unenviable position of being the piece on the side. The woman she’s in love with already has a girlfriend and despite the great sex with the caller, won’t break up with anyone.

Love hurts. Oooooh oooooh, love hurts.

Listen here:

This post, my team demands aggressive positivity … and I have a medical condition that leaves me exhausted , was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes:

I’m having a hard time matching my team’s energy at work. I’m not missing deadlines or turning in or sub-par work, more like a culture thing. I have a rare autoimmune disorder that leaves me drained and exhausted most days. I have a great medical team, so I have all the medical get good rest, lifestyle, and nutritional advice I need.

I worry my low energy is going to box me in professionally. My coworkers are very high energy and expect me to meet their level of enthusiasm and energy daily. It’s not the workload, it’s the attitude that is draining me. I physically can’t meet this level of enthusiasm and energy without violating our company’s drug policy.

My office culture has evolved over the last few years where everyone is WILDLY, almost manically energetic, and positive about everything. The littlest task or statement is met with unbridled enthusiasm and toxic positivity. It’s a holdover from someone in leadership who is no longer with the company. During a team meeting, I mentioned I couldn’t hand something in until my computer got a piece of hardware replaced. It’s an expensive piece and needed budget approval that my boss was fast-tracking. A team member said, “Don’t let that stop you! You can do anything, you beautiful bitch! It’s all about mindset!” It’s not a mindset issue, I’m literally waiting on a broken and expensive piece of technology to be replaced. I get a lot of “where’s your sparkle today?” or “gotta get excited, NAME” or “you can’t have a case of the Mondays today! We need to be rockstars for our clients!” I know they’re just trying to hype themselves up for the day, but I hate being spoken to like that and offer that it also feels ableist. I hope I don’t come across like the angry rolls lady, but this environment is impossible to function in.

An example of another interaction would be “NAME, do you have that out-of-this-world story board for me?” And I’ll respond in a totally normal tone, “Sure, Jim. I emailed it this morning. Let me know if you need anything or have any questions. It came out great.” Jim will pull back and do a “Woah, where’s the pep today? Why so negative?” 

I didn’t say “I hope you fall down the stairs, Jim” or “Eat dirt, Jim.” A friend of mine from another department witnessed some of these exchanges and stood up for me, saying I wasn’t being negative and Jim was being weird. Everyone laughed it off and that was it. Other departments have complained about the toxic positivity and toddler-on-espresso-like responses. My department has been told to dial it back but it doesn’t stick.

I get wonderful feedback from my clients and I’m one of the most sought-after consultants in our company. I have a waiting list, many of them are willing to wait for me despite my “rockstar” colleagues having an open calendar. Even so, I get comments from some coworkers and management that I’m not as enthusiastic and upbeat as my colleagues. My performance reviews are stellar, so my low energy hasn’t come up but I’m worried it will.

I don’t discuss my disorder with my colleagues and coworkers. In the past, it became an armchair diagnostic free-for-all with almost everyone yelling over me with advice that has no medical bearing on my condition. I know how it sounds, but I actually really love my job, have great relationships with most of my coworkers, my clients are wonderful, and I feel like I’m really making a difference. I think I should address this but I don’t know how to go about doing it. My boss is aware I have a medical condition but I opt not to share specifics. I don’t know where to start. How do I address this and is this an HR conversation or a manager conversation?

OMG, this environment. You do not sound like the angry rolls person; you sound understandably frustrated with an environment that would be a bad fit for a ton of people without a medical condition in play. Most people, I’d bet — and in fact I wonder if there’s an “Emperor’s New Clothes” thing going on here where other people are aggravated by it too but don’t feel they can speak up about it.

It’s very hard for one person to change an entire team culture, but ideally what would happen is that your manager would clearly tell your team members that they need to stop demanding pep, pointing out that it can demoralize other people, which seems to be the opposite of what they’re going for, and shut down any comments from your peers or higher-ups about you not being as upbeat as others. It sounds like a lot of people there are overdue for a talk about how different people are different and aggressively performed enthusiasm is not a necessary element of obtaining outstanding results, as your superlative work demonstrates.

So. What do you know of your boss? Is she someone who you think could pull that off with a reasonable amount of skill? If so, it’s worth talking to her and laying out what’s going on, and asking for that specifically unless she can think of better solutions.

If you can’t imagine that going well, then choose HR instead. With HR, your goal would be, at a minimum, to get something official ensuring that you’re not assessed based on upbeat energy when it clearly has no bearing on the results you get in your work … and to explore with them whether they see other solutions as well. For example, they’re probably not going to attempt to change an entire team culture from outside of it, but they could coach your manager about how and why to tone it down and could raise awareness throughout your company about the ways that this kind of belligerent positivity is non-inclusive. It’s possible that framing it in terms of inclusivity might get through where previous attempts haven’t stuck.

In fact, you might approach both HR and your manager — and if so, I’d probably start with HR to get some of the groundwork laid and get their advice on talking to your manager first.

With both HR and your manager, you’re in an excellent position because of your high performance. There may also be people in your company whose work is more average but who have similar objections to the culture, possibly for similar reasons, and who might not be as well-positioned to address it — something for anyone working in a culture like this to think about.

The Houston Texans were again determined to make fools of themselves. Only this time, bless their hearts, they were stopped cold. That they did the right thing for the wrong reason can be sorted out later.What matters—or at least what the team hopes is all anyone will remember—is that Lovie Smith, a 63-year-old born and raised in East Texas, will be the new head coach. His hiring made Monday a good day for a franchise that hasn’t had one in a long time.Is Smith a great coach? Maybe that’s a stretch, although sorting through the nuances in NFL head coach evaluation can be a dizzying task. Can Smith do a good job in Houston? Absolutely.In addition, Smith will join the Pittsburgh Steelers’ Mike Tomlin as…

The post Do the Texans Even Deserve New Head Coach Lovie Smith? appeared first on Texas Monthly.

There is perhaps no symbol more evocative of Texas than its shape, the most recognizable state outline in the union. The right corners of the Panhandle, the irregular swoop of the coast, the exaggerated bend of the Rio Grande: the figure isn’t so much representative of Texas as it is synonymous with it. So we put it on everything: our trucks, our bodies, our walls, and our signage. But if we love the shape of the state so much, why do we keep butchering it?    That’s the question posed by @UglyTexases, an Instagram account that curates images of misshapen or otherwise imperfect Texases, from tattoos, food, and home decor to murals, advertisements, and maps. There are Ugly Texas necklaces, coasters, puzzle pieces, and pies (pecan, berry, and…

The post Just How Hard Is It to Draw the Shape of Texas? Pretty Hard, According to the “Ugly Texas” Instagram. appeared first on Texas Monthly.

And the best part? The annual passes are free.

(Image credit: Patrick T. Fallon/AFP via Getty Images)

From web archives to television news to digitized books & periodicals, dozens of projects rely on the collections available at archive.org for computational & bibliographic research across a large digital corpus. This series will feature six sessions highlighting the innovative scholars that are using Internet Archive collections, services and APIs to support data-driven projects in the humanities and beyond.

Want to participate? Register below! Do you have a research project that uses materials from the Internet Archive? We’re offering a Lightning Talks session at the end of our series to give more people an opportunity to share your research with the world. Simply complete our online form to be considered. Submission guidelines.

Many thanks to the program advisory group:

• Dan Cohen, Vice Provost for Information Collaboration and Dean, University Library and Professor of History, Northeastern University
• Makiba Foster, Library Regional Manager for the African American Research Library and Cultural Center, Broward County Library
• Mike Furlough, Executive Director, HathiTrust
• Harriett Green, Associate University Librarian for Digital Scholarship and Technology Services, Washington University Libraries

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Session Details & Registration:

March 2 @ 11am PT / 2pm ET

Supporting Computational Use of Web Collections
Jefferson Bailey, Internet Archive
Helge Holzmann, Internet Archive

What can you do with billions of archived web pages? In our kickoff session, Jefferson Bailey, Internet Archive’s Director of Web Archiving & Data Services, and Helge Holzmann, Web Data Engineer, will take attendees on a tour of the methods and techniques available for analyzing web archives at scale. 

Read the session recap & watch the video:

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March 16  @ 11am PT / 2pm ET

Applications of Web Archive Research with the Archives Unleashed Cohort Program

Launched in 2020, the Cohort program is engaging with researchers in a year-long collaboration and mentorship with the Archives Unleashed Project and the Internet Archive, to support web archival research. 

 Web archives provide a rich resource for exploration and discovery! As such, this session will feature the program’s inaugural research teams, who will discuss the innovative ways they are exploring web archival collections to tackle interdisciplinary topics and methodologies. Projects from the Cohort program include:

• AWAC2 — Analysing Web Archives of the COVID Crisis through the IIPC Novel Coronavirus dataset—Valérie Schafer (University of Luxembourg)
• Everything Old is New Again: A Comparative Analysis of Feminist Media Tactics between the 2nd- to 4th Waves—Shana MacDonald (University of Waterloo)
• Mapping and tracking the development of online commenting systems on news websites between 1996–2021—Robert Jansma (University of Siegen)
• Crisis Communication in the Niagara Region during the COVID-19 Pandemic—Tim Ribaric (Brock University)
• Viral health misinformation from Geocities to COVID-19—Shawn Walker (Arizona State University)

UPDATE: Quinn Dombrowski from Saving Ukrainian Cultural Heritage Online (SUCHO) will give an introductory presentation about the team of volunteers racing to archive Ukrainian digital cultural heritage.

Register now

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March 30  @ 11am PT / 2pm ET

Hundreds of Books, Thousands of Stories: A Guide to the Internet Archive’s African Folktales
Laura Gibbs, Educator, writer & bibliographer
Helen Nde, Historian & writer

Join educator & bibliographer Laura Gibbs and researcher, writer & artist Helen Nde as they give attendees a guided tour of the African folktales in the Internet Archive’s collection. Laura will share her favorite search tips for exploring the treasure trove of books at the Internet Archive, and how to share the treasures you find with colleagues, students, and fellow readers in the form of a digital bibliography guide. Helen will share how she uses the Internet Archive’s collections to tell the stories of individuals and cultures that aren’t often represented online through her work at Mythological Africans (@MythicAfricans). Helen will explore how she uses technology to continue the African storytelling tradition in spoken form, and she will discuss the impacts on the online communities that she is able to reach.

Register now

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April 13  @ 11am PT / 2pm ET

Television as Data: Opening TV News for Deep Analysis and New Forms of Interactive Search
Roger MacDonald, Founder, TV News Archive
Kalev Leetaru, Data Scientist, GDELT

How can treating television news as data create fundamentally new kinds of opportunities for both computational analysis of influential societal narratives and the creation of new kinds of interactive search tools? How could derived (non-consumptive) metadata be open-access and respectful of content creator concerns? How might specific segments be contextualized by linking them to related analysis, like professional journalist fact checking? How can tools like OCR, AI language analysis and knowledge graphs generate terabytes of annotations making it possible to search television news in powerful new ways?

For nearly a decade, the Internet Archive’s TV News Archive has enabled closed captioning keyword search of a growing archive that today spans nearly three million hours of U.S. local and national TV news (2,239,000+ individual shows) from mid-2009 to the present. This public interest library is dedicated to facilitating journalists, scholars, and the public to compare, contrast, cite, and borrow specific portions of the collection.  Using a range of algorithmic approaches, users are moving beyond simple captioning search towards rich analysis of the visual side of television news. 
In this session, Roger Macdonald, founder of the TV News Archive, and Kalev Leetaru, collaborating data scientist and  GDELT Project founder, will report on experiments applying full-screen OCR, machine vision, speech-to-text and natural language processing to assist exploration, analyses and data-visualization of this vast television repository. They will ​​survey the resulting open metadata datasets and demonstrate the public search tools and APIs they’ve created that enable powerful new forms of interactive search of television news and what it looks like to ask questions of more than a decade of television news.

Register now

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April 27  @ 11am PT / 2pm ET

Analyzing Biodiversity Literature at Scale
Martin R. Kalfatovic, Smithsonian Library & Archives
JJ Dearborn, Biodiversity Heritage Library Data Manager

Imagine the great library of life, the library that Charles Darwin said was necessary for the “cultivation of natural science” (1847). And imagine that this library is not just hundreds of thousands of books printed from 1500 to the present, but also the data contained in those books that represents all that we know about life on our planet. That library is the Biodiversity Heritage Library (BHL) The Internet Archive has provided an invaluable platform for the BHL to liberate taxonomic names, species descriptions, habitat description and much more. Connecting and harnessing  the disparate data from over five-centuries is now BHL’s grand challenge. The unstructured textual data generated at the point of digitization holds immense untapped potential. Tim Berners-Lee provided the world with a semantic roadmap to address this global deluge of dark data and Wikidata is now executing on his vision. As we speak, BHL’s data is undergoing rapid transformation from legacy formats into linked open data, fulfilling the promise to evaporate data silos and foster bioliteracy for all humankind.

Martin R. Kalfatovic (BHL Program Director and Associate Director, Smithsonian Library and Archives) and JJ Dearborn (BHL Data Manager) will explore how books in BHL become data for the larger biodiversity community.

Register now

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May 11  @ 11am PT / 2pm ET

Lightning Talks
You!

Do you have a quick project briefing you’d like to share in two minutes or less? Fresh research, cool collections and wild ideas welcome! Submit a proposal now to give a live or pre-recorded lightning talk at our closing session. Submission guidelines.

Register now

The post Library as Laboratory: A New Series Exploring the Computational Use of Internet Archive Collections appeared first on Internet Archive Blogs.

Our 14th most-read article of the 2022.

Originally published February 8, 2022.

Downstairs to Downstairs

HOUSEHOLD SERVANT: I’m worried about Rich Lady.

OTHER HOUSEHOLD SERVANT: Don’t be. She’s rich, ain’t she?

HOUSEHOLD SERVANT: Being rich doesn’t mean her horse can’t die/ her husband can’t die/ she can’t die/ she can wear a hat well.

BUTLER: Stop arguing, you two! Someone needs to take this duck liver blancmange up to the dining room on the double!

OTHER HOUSEHOLD SERVANT: Humph! (Exits to the kitchen)

HOUSEHOLD SERVANT: Sigh! (Takes platter and exits up the stairs)

BUTLER: In my day, people were happy to even get to smell a duck liver blancmange! (Exits down hallway)

Downstairs to Upstairs

RICH LADY: Oh, I am distraught over the shambles of my life.

HOUSEHOLD SERVANT: Even though my problems are punishingly more severe than yours, I will kindly listen to your tale of pampered woe.

RICH LADY: Woe!

HOUSEHOLD SERVANT: Poor you. Let me fix your hair in some particular way.

RICH LADY’S HUSBAND: (bursts in) I am angry over the same issue that made you distraught. (sees Household Servant, very politely) Excuse us, please, if you do not mind, awfully kind of you, thanks, thanks.

HOUSEHOLD SERVANT: Of course, of course, on my honor, I am sorry, sir. (exits)

RICH LADY: There’s no need to take that tone with my servant.

RICH LADY’S HUSBAND: I’m so irate. I shall now make the same point about the issue I made earlier.

RICH LADY: I will re-summarize my view as well.

(Cut to: Household Servant standing outside RL’s door, shaking her head sadly.)

Upstairs to Downstairs

YOUNGER RICH LADY: (enters the kitchen)

ALL SERVANTS: GREAT DAY IN THE MORNING, M’LADY. WHAT BRINGS YOU DOWN HERE TO OUR HOVEL?!?

BUTLER: Madame, may I please escort you quickly back to your proper household area before you get any working class on you?

YOUNGER RICH LADY: Oh, but I wanted to thank you / learn to make potatoes / ask for your help / see how the boy who burnt his head while building my fire this morning is.

ALL SERVANTS: WHAT UNRESTRAINED KINDNESS. WE ARE AGOG

YOUNGER RICH LADY: All right, then, thank you. (exits)

BUTLER: Back in my day, when one of the masters chose to talk to us, we slaughtered a fowl in thanks! How lucky we are!

ALL SERVANTS: Huzzah!

Upstairs to Upstairs

RICH LADY: (enters Young Rich Lady’s room) Such news! Young Hot Rich Guy writes to tell us that he will soon visit!

YOUNG RICH LADY: Why should I care? Times have changed, Mother!

RICH LADY: But Young Hot Rich Guy will make a hillion billion pounds/dollars next year, thanks to his inheritance / horses / ethically dicey business in South America.

YOUNG RICH LADY: What do I care about his hillion billions? Tell my sister!

SLIGHTLY LESS ATTRACTIVE BUT STILL PRETTY ENOUGH FOR ALL NORMAL PURPOSES YOUNGER SISTER: Tell me what? I’m just back from riding in a car / showing off my ankles / letting the milliner talk me into putting three feathers on my hat instead of the more acceptable two / beginning an addiction to laudanum.

RICH LADY: Young Hot Rich Guy is going to visit! And now I’m going to make a comment about women that will land poorly with our twenty-first-century viewing audience.

SLIGHTLY LESS ATTRACTIVE BUT STILL PRETTY ENOUGH FOR ALL NORMAL PURPOSES YOUNGER SISTER: And I’ll counter that with a viewpoint that there is no conceivable way I would have held unless I was a time traveler, but will show me to be in alignment with the viewing audience’s core beliefs.

RICH LADY’S HUSBAND: (popping in) I’m just popping in to make a blanket statement about race. So I can learn a lesson later in this episode. See you at dinner! (leaves, almost bumping into Household Servant, entering)

HOUSEHOLD SERVANT: Pardon, madame, but I’m here to apply literally $10,000 worth of jewels to your head, if I may?

YOUNG RICH LADY: All of you leave, for I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever marry Young Hot Rich Guy. Household Servant, you can stay and listen to my woes.

HOUSEHOLD SERVANT: What bliss!

Downstairs to Downstairs II

HOUSEHOLD SERVANT: I’m still worried about Rich Lady.

OTHER HOUSEHOLD SERVANT: Don’t be! She’s rich, ain’t she?

BUTLER: Didn’t you two talk about this earlier this episode?

OTHER HOUSEHOLD SERVANT: That was last episode.

BUTLER: It blurs together for me. I wish we had some subtext. Instead, we just keep saying the same plot points until whatever it is resolves at the end of the season. Oh, well, would one of you take this turtle soup with shellacked truffles up to the dining room? Do not make eye contact with anyone, including the turtle!

OTHER HOUSEHOLD SERVANT: Humph! (exits to the kitchen)

HOUSEHOLD SERVANT: Sigh! (exits to the stairs, carrying soup tureen, eyes closed)

A Day Out—Downstairs

HOUSEHOLD SERVANT: Fancy us out on the town buying stick candy, like actual human beings with free will! What will I tell me mum / my pa / the priest / the Black person I condescend to?

EMBITTERED MALE SERVANT: I’m closeted / suffering from PTSD / embezzling from our employer / in love with a goose, but I can’t say it aloud. I’ll just walk three paces behind everyone else and appear gloomy.

HOUSEHOLD SERVANT: Oh, I think I see Young Rich Lady.

OTHER HOUSEHOLD SERVANT: Well, go on. Say hello!

HOUSEHOLD SERVANT: I could never. But after she leaves that shop, I’ll go in and ask them if I might sweep up a bit of dirt from where she trod to keep in a sachet under my pillow.

BUTLER: (nods once, approvingly)

ALL SERVANTS: HUZZAH, THERE IS A PARADE OR THE WAR IS OVER, OR A FARM SHOW OR SOMETHING. LET’S GATHER!

(All servants rush off screen, followed by Embittered Male Servant, glowering.)

A Day Out—Upstairs

YOUNGER RICH LADY: I can shoot as well as any man.

YOUNG HOT RICH GUY: Oh?

YOUNGER RICH LADY: Who are YOU?

YOUNG HOT RICH GUY: I’m Young Hot Rich Guy.

YOUNGER RICH LADY: Well!

YOUNG HOT RICH GUY: (shoots something)

YOUNGER RICH LADY: (also shoots something)

YOUNG HOT RICH GUY: Well!

RICH LADY’S HUSBAND: (rides up) I’m just riding up to tell you both that I learned something about race this episode.

YOUNGER RICH LADY: Well done, Father!

RICH LADY’S HUSBAND: Come along, you two. Cook’s made goose!

YOUNG HOT RICH GUY: Huzzah!

(Cut to close-up of Embittered Male Servant, one tear sliding down his cheek while he stands beside the carving station.)

Read an interview with Shannon Reed about writing this piece.

Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
If you have the right bacterial culture you can also shovel rotten milk into them in all sorts of forms.

Today's News:

“Design is all about desire…”–Hal Foster, Design & Crime

On first glance at Patty Carroll’s exhibition at PDNB Gallery, I immediately thought of Hal Foster’s 2011 book Design and Crime (and Other Diatribes). In it, Foster states that design encourages narcissism, promoting surface superficiality with a lack of substance. In Carroll’s worlds, the ornately designed scenes subsume the protagonists. She says that the anonymous woman “is both a victim of her obsessions…, as well as the creator” of her circumstances, further explaining that her scenes are loosely inspired by the game of Clue, where players guess the perpetrator, motive and weapon. These anonymous women have succumbed to their own desires, but the perpetrator is not easily identified. Who can we blame? Surely not design, as Foster implies, so maybe society as a whole?

The brightly colored photographs are full of delicious subversive humor. Cooking the Goose features a 1950s era kitchen in disarray with a woman’s smartly dressed legs replete with pink pumps sticking out of the oven. One arm protrudes through the stove burner, clutching a phone, while the other arm holds a ladle. The cooked goose idiom refers to “game over,” failure with consequences to follow. What are the consequences to domestic failure? In the 1950s and beyond, domestic prowess defined self-worth for many women. My mind also travels to the dark place of suicide by sticking one’s head in an oven, a fate suffered by poet Sylvia Plath, whose poems spoke about suffering, alienation and personal demise. 

I’ve been watching the Hulu miniseries Mrs. America, featuring Cate Blanchett as Phyllis Schlafly, a conservative activist who organized housewives in the state of Illinois to protest against the ERA and the feminist movement. I can imagine some of these characters as Carroll’s anonymous women. It’s interesting that all of the women’s faces are hidden in her photographs. It wasn’t until I saw the photos in person that I realized her subjects are mannequins — they are merely props in their own scenes of downfall. 

Jello Mellow? is one of my favorite images. With a subtle nod to Sandy Skoglund’s color palette, a woman is slumped over a dining room table littered with red food — strawberries, apples, cherries and jello. The molded jello dishes remind me of my grandmother; later, when I would try to recreate her complex jello creations, mine always turned into a big jello mess. The question mark in the title perhaps alludes to a pharmaceutical-induced mellow with valium, aka “mother’s little helper,” which was so frequently prescribed in the day. 

The exhibit is only up for one more week. It’s worth seeing the photographs in person to consume all of their lush details. 

 

Patty Carroll: Anonymous Women: Domestic Demise is on view through February 12, 2022 at Photographs Do Not Bend Gallery in Dallas.

The post Patty Carroll: Anonymous Women: Domestic Demise at PDNB Gallery, Dallas appeared first on Glasstire.

This is the last week to see Sarah Ayala’s site-specific installation at the SoMa micro-park located in the South Main District of Fort Worth. Curated by Art Tooth, a North Texas nonprofit that supports local artists through opportunities and resources, Ayala was invited to kick-off the 2022 SoMa installations with a work she proposed last year. 

What comes off as a fun and lavish installation with pink iridescent streamers, fluffy stuffing (lit by purple LEDs) filling the floor, and brightly painted cakes set at a long rectangular table, broaches more serious topics than what meets the eye.

In Cuntrol: A Lavish Socioeconomic Ecosystem Controlling the Underfunded, Ayala builds off of a series of cake sculptures that she created in 2020 in response to the Economic Impact Payments. These payments, or stimulus funds, initially provided eligible adults $1,200, and later paid an additional $600. The colorful cakes include the hand-lettered words “Let Them Eat…” as a reference to the phrase often attributed to Marie-Antoinette, the queen of France during the French Revolution. Ayala pointedly uses this phrase to indicate that the payments made by the U.S. government weren’t nearly enough to ease the hardships faced by lower income individuals, but served merely as a political optic. 

For this installation, Ayala and her collaborator Deryk Poynor expand on the idea of these cakes and point to other issues related to compensation (like the struggle to garner wide support for the $15/hour minimum wage), and also to reproductive rights. 

If you’re in Fort Worth, stop by to see the installation before it closes on Friday, February 11, 2022.

The post Who’s in Cuntrol? appeared first on Glasstire.

Glasstire is seeking an Editor-in-Chief to lead our editorial team. The Editor-in-Chief oversees all content published on Glasstire, the online publication for art in Texas. They are responsible for determining the overall editorial vision and tone of our publication. We hope to have an Editor-in-Chief who is interested in developing new ideas and taking Glasstire in new directions. In this position, the Editor-in-Chief will gain comprehensive knowledge of art in Texas, and will get to travel to the state’s far-flung regions to meet artists, curators, and most importantly, to look at art.

We are seeking an Editor-in-Chief who is excited about writing and publishing fearless, opinionated art and cultural criticism.

Applications for this position will be accepted through 11:59 PM on March 27, 2022. See below for the full job listing.

Position Summary
The Editor-in-Chief is responsible for overseeing all of the content published by Glasstire. They will work with our publication’s statewide network of writers to field pitches, commission articles, and edit the writing that appears on our site. The ideal candidate will have experience both managing an editorial calendar, and editing and publishing writing. The Editor-in-Chief will also be expected to produce regular content for Glasstire, including but not limited to reviews, essays, op-eds, interviews, and other types of feature stories.

This is an opportunity for you to guide the editorial direction of Glasstire, a Texas-based publication that reaches one of the largest art audiences in the country.

The Editor-in-Chief will be responsible for overseeing Glasstire’s editorial staff, including the publication’s News Editor and Assistant Editor. The Editor-in-Chief is expected to manage, collaborate with, and help develop these staffers. As such, the Editor-in-Chief is responsible for editing Glasstire’s regularly published news content.

The Editor-in-Chief must possess outstanding writing, editing, and communication skills. This is a public role, and the Editor-in-Chief represents Glasstire in the Texas art community. Regular travel across Texas by the Editor-in-Chief is required and encouraged. The ideal candidate is an adaptable team player who understands that, as Glasstire is a small nonprofit organization, all hands are typically on deck.

It is expected that the Editor-in-Chief either be based in the Greater Houston area or regularly visit Houston. Preference will be given to Houston-area candidates. This position reports to the Publisher.

In this job, the Editor-in-Chief will enhance existing skills relating to:
— Writing, editing, copy editing, researching, reporting, and fact-checking
— Overseeing a content calendar
— Managing writers and an editorial team

Responsibilities
—Supervise and develop all Glasstire contributors, including other editors, contract writers, photographers, translators, and videographers
—Edit, fact-check, and copy edit all feature content (5-7 articles per week) and news articles (7-12 articles per week) on Glasstire
—Contribute, twice a month, feature content to Glasstire
—Recruit and cultivate new writers and other editorial staff as necessary
—Foster a collaborative culture, managing a weekly editorial conference and other staff meetings to develop ideas for new content and ways to grow Glasstire’s brand
—Utilize Google Analytics and other web traffic software to analyze performance of Glasstire’s content and inform new approaches to producing stories
—Check and send Glasstire’s weekly newsletters, in collaboration with the News Editor
—Appear in Glasstire videos and co-host the biweekly Art Dirt podcast
—Assist the Publisher with revenue-generating activity: provide content information for grant writing purposes, attend and assist with fundraising events, and support donor cultivation
—Develop relationships with organizations, arts professionals, artists, and others across Texas

Qualifications
—Outstanding written and verbal communication skills, editing skills, and knowledge of grammar
—Familiarity with contemporary art and art writing
—Strong track record of leadership and ability to take initiative and work with efficiency, flexibility, and good humor
—Minimum of 3 years’ prior writing and editorial experience, preferably in publishing, with working knowledge of the best journalism and SEO practices
—Must be detail-oriented, highly organized, a self-starter, and able to work efficiently both in a team and independently
—Must be comfortable with Microsoft Office, Google Drive, and Adobe Photoshop
—Media editing skills: familiarity with audio and video editing software
—Familiarity with WordPress, the Texas art community, and/or written and spoken Spanish a plus

This is a full-time position. Salary is commensurate with experience. Glasstire offers a flexible work schedule with opportunities for remote work.

To apply, email your CV, three references, a writing sample of no more than 500 words, and a cover letter specifying your requested salary to brandon@glasstire.com. Please use the subject line “Editor-in-Chief Job Application.” Please specify where you saw the posting. The application deadline is March 27, 2022 at 11:59 PM.

The post Job Alert: Glasstire Seeks an Editor-in-Chief appeared first on Glasstire.

This post, my coworker says I bullied her … should I tell her boss she needs more of a backbone? , was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes:

I recently received feedback at work and need to know how to respond. I think my boss is very wrong, but I am unsure of the best way to make her see that.

I started my job last year. My role is highly technical, in a niche industry. Not a lot of people do what I do, so these positions are hard to hire for.

One of my colleagues, Sally, accused me of bullying her recently and asked to stop having to train me as a result. The reality is that her training is not very good and it seems when I express that, I am “bullying” her. Her role is tangential to mine and she was filling in for a couple months before they hired me. She does not know how to do everything in my role, although our titles are the same. A lot of my training has been her guiding me rather than providing step-by-step instructions (i.e., actual training).

The examples of bullying that my boss gave me include telling Sally that her “procedures are not good” and also a time when I “dismissed” her. The reality is that her procedures weren’t that great and need to be strengthened. When I made the comment, my colleague responded with “you are welcome to make any updates to any procedures” and even said the procedures get better every time someone new comes aboard. She didn’t seem upset. When I “dismissed” her, it was actually a misunderstanding: She was trying to tell me something that I was sure was inaccurate. From my years of experience, I did not think what she was saying could be possible and so I told her, “That cannot be right.” I admit my tone wasn’t completely snark-free, because she went on to explain why she wasn’t wrong and I doubled down that she “must have been mistaken.” She just walked away. I found out from another colleague a couple weeks later that Sally was right and our company is just a rare exception to the rule, but it is certainly rare enough to warrant my pushback. There were a couple other examples, but I hate to bore you with details.

These hardly seem like bullying to me rather than misunderstandings. I think Sally is being very sensitive and immature. She is much younger than most people on the team and is further along in her career than most people her age. I think this is a self confidence issue on her part, to know that I was trying to help her see ways to improve her procedures and explaining why she was wrong. I want to tell my boss that Sally would benefit from a backbone and will certainly need one to further her career. It seems my boss wants me to blindly accept everything Sally says as true and not ask questions.

How can I convince my boss I was not bullying my colleague but actually trying to help her?

Noooooo. Do not do that.

I don’t think I’d call what happened here “bullying,” but it does sound like you’ve been being — forgive me for being blunt — a bit of a jerk!

Look at what’s in your letter:

* You insisted something Sally told you was wrong, in a tone that you acknowledge was snarky — and you pushed back on her competence to the point that she chose to walk away rather than continuing to engage with you. You later learned she was right and you were wrong, but it doesn’t seem to have changed your assessment of that interaction, and it doesn’t sound like you went back and apologized to her.

* You note that Sally was only filling in for a few months doing your job and it’s not her normal role, but for some reason you want to tell her that her procedures “are not good.” Maybe they’re not — this isn’t her job! It’s now your job, so that’s something you can fix if needed (as she suggested to you) — but Sally doesn’t need to be berated about not doing a job perfectly that was never her position to begin with. And given that you were wrong at least one other time when you dug your heels in, I’m curious about why you wouldn’t bring some humility and tact to these interactions rather than approaching her in a way that sounds pretty aggressive.

* You’re speaking about Sally’s training skills in a disrespectful and distorted way, claiming she’s not giving you “actual training” because she’s guiding you rather than providing step-by-step instructions, when plenty of good training is more about guiding than step-by-step direction.

* You note there have been other examples too, so these aren’t isolated incidents but instead are illustrative of a broader trend.

* Your interactions have left Sally feeling so put off that she’s asked to stop training you. Rather than considering she might have valid reasons for feeling that way, you’re assuming she’s overly sensitive, immature, and lacking in confidence. It’s easy to see why she might find you dismissive!

It’s possible, of course, that Sally is overly sensitive — but given the blind spots that jump out in how you’ve narrated your letter and the flippant way you’ve dismissed your own missteps, it’s more likely that that’s not the case, and that most people in her shoes would be fed up at this point.

And to be clear, maybe Sally’s training isn’t good! That wouldn’t necessarily be surprising, since this isn’t her job. If you’re not getting adequate training, you should either tell her specifically what you need help with (without implying she’s incompetent) or talk with your boss about the additional support you need (again, without implying Sally is incompetent). But just negatively critiquing her work and being snarky to her isn’t constructive and is going to make you come across as a jerk.

To answer the question you’re asking: No, do not tell your boss that Sally needs a backbone. Doing that would be wildly out of line. (At a new job, no less! Think about the impression you’ll be making on people who don’t know you well yet.) If you proceed with that, you’re likely to give your boss grave concerns about your people skills. You said you feel like your boss wants you to just accept everything Sally says as true and not ask questions — which sounds like your boss has already looked at the situation and concluded Sally is not the problem but you might be. Don’t further that impression.

The right move here is to apologize to Sally for coming across as if you were dismissing her experience and skills, acknowledge the things you got wrong, thank her for training you, and figure out how to take a lighter touch with peers going forward.

Country Crafts and Food
Better Homes and Gardens
1983

This is one of those craft books around a theme. It’s less about craft instruction and more about style. The pictures are carefully composed to create a look as opposed to focusing on a particular item. This runs the gamut from decor to clothing to cooking. This probably runs closer to design or home decor rather than straight up crafting. Soooo what Dewey number do we give this item? Most were in the 745 range but a significant percentage went with 641. This kind book really bugs me, because I do want to stick it in both 745 and 641. I did a lot of buying of craft books a few years ago and whenever the books mixed and matched topics like this, it made me a bit twitchy. To be totally honest, I really avoided this type of book since it really didn’t do either topic justice. But I digress.

Aside from my catalog anxieties, this is really just a pretty little set piece and in my special world this would probably in the 700s and I would learn to live with a twitch for the recipes. I mean, who wouldn’t want to sit around in ridiculous clothing eating a cucumber ring supreme?

Mary

 

 

The post A Little Bit Country appeared first on Awful Library Books.

Garnishing
A Feast for Your Eyes
Lynch
1987

I know there is a whole bunch of people that like artistic looking food. I also know that food can be just another medium for the artist inside you. I am just one of those people who wants food to look like food. I shouldn’t have to guess what the food actually is.

This book has a few lovely decorations. See the first image after the break. The raspberry tart thing looks pretty. However, as we go through the book, it becomes more outrageous. A carrot curl or a sprig of parsley is actually a nice touch. But I am going to stop at the shaped potato salad. But wait there is more!

See the eggplant penguin. Evidently you are to use it as a comical decoration. Just no.  Other “tasty” looking choices: pickle fans, the squash chicken, and the pear quail. Just when you think that you have seen it all, I present the “cauliflower lamb” (final image below). Perhaps this would work at a vegetarian Easter when the leg of lamb just won’t do.

Bon Appetit!

Mary

 

The post A real feast for your eyes! appeared first on Awful Library Books.

 

See our new movie and live show EIT KIDZ KLUB to the Sie Film Center in Denver, tonight 2/8/22! Two shows!

GET TICKETS HERE

Buy our new movie EIT KIDZ KLUB!

On DVD!

On VHS!

EIT KIDZ KLUB TOUR REMAINING SHOWS:

2/8 - Denver CO

2/10 - Kansas City MO

2/11 - Fayetteville AR

2/12 - Dallas TX

2/13 - Austin TX

2/14 - San Antonio TX

2/15 - Houston TX

2/16 - New Orleans LA

2/17 - Birmingham AL

2/18 - Jacksonville FL

2/19 - Orlando FL

2/20 - Atlanta GA

2/21 - Nashville TN

2/22 - Durham NC

2/23 - Richmond VA

2/24 - Washington DC

2/25 - Philadelphia PA

2/26 - Brooklyn NY

2/27 - Portsmouth NH

2/28 - Boston MA

3/1 - Portland ME

3/2 - Montreal QC

3/3 - Toronto ON

3/4 - Pittsburgh PA

3/5 - Detroit MI

3/6 - Cleveland OH

3/8 - Columbus OH

3/9 - Bloomington IN

3/10 - Louisville KY

3/11 - St Louis MO

3/12 - Iowa City IA

3/13 - Chicago IL

3/14 - Milwaukee WI

3/15 - St Paul MN

3/16 - Fargo ND

3/18 - Missoula MT

3/19 - Spokane WA

3/20 - Vancouver BC

3/21 - Seattle WA

3/22 - Portland OR

3/23 - Eugene, OR

3/24 - Sacramento CA

3/25 - Reno NV

3/26 - Oakland CA

Now that society is collapsing, Everything Is Terrible! is reborn with their new and fantastical expedition into found footage... but this time the adults can stay home! EIT! has unearthed thousands of forgotten DVD & VHS tapes aimed at yesterday’s youth to bring you their most mind-melting movie to date. Watch in awe as all colors of the rainbow join forces to destroy the tyranny of adult civilization once and for all! All of your oldest friends will be there; skateboarding web-surfers, rapping math equations, gigantic baby ducks, and maybe even a wizard or two! And what EIT! show would be complete without a live experience that makes the Ice Capades look like a stupid piece of trash! Finally, an all-encompassing extravaganza created for kidz... by kidz!

Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
Thought I'd cheer people up during a rough time.

Today's News:

The European Union's data privacy law, the GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation), has caused all sorts of problems since its debut. Its debut was itself a mess, something that immediately resulted in a whole lot of websites simply refusing to allow European users to connect with them.

Since it was unclear how to avoid running afoul of the law, it was easier to avoid potential fines by simply cutting European users out of the equation. For everyone else, it was being greeted with a new warning about cookies at nearly every website they visited -- a small hassle to be sure, but a hassle nonetheless.

Then there were the truly unexpected consequences of the new law that imposed data-gathering and data-sharing restrictions on any business, whether they were internet-based or not. In some areas, GDPR was read as requiring retailers to notify purchasers of items when the items were returned -- something that would make the exchange of unwanted Christmas gifts extremely awkward.

In another weird case, post offices in Ireland removed waste bins from their facilities because customers were throwing out unwanted mail and receipts, resulting the offices' unintentional collection of personal data. When the waste bins went missing, customers resorted to throwing their trash on post office counters and floors, leaving it even more unregulated than it was when the waste bins were still in place.

Yet another side effect no one saw coming: the use of Google's Font API was enough to get a website fined by a German court. (via Slashdot)

Earlier this month, a German court fined an unidentified website €100 ($110, £84) for violating EU privacy law by importing a Google-hosted web font.

The decision, by Landgericht München's third civil chamber in Munich, found that the website, by including Google-Fonts-hosted font on its pages, passed the unidentified plaintiff's IP address to Google without authorization and without a legitimate reason for doing so. And that violates Europe's General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR).

The court says whether or not Google did anything with the forwarded IP address is beside the point. The fact is the website engaged in the unauthorized transmission of this IP address to Google by using its font API to access a font to render the text on the site. The court's decision points out this can be avoided by self-hosting the font and notes that the website operator has chosen to do this going forward. That being said, the court still feels a fine is the only way to ensure future compliance with GDPR.

Risk of repetition is to be affirmed. It is undisputed that the plaintiff's IP address was forwarded to Google when the plaintiff visited the defendant's website. Previous unlawful impairments justify an actual assumption of the risk of repetition, which was not refuted by the defendant. The risk of repetition is not eliminated by the fact that the defendant now uses Google Fonts in such a way that the IP address of the website visitor is no longer disclosed to Google. The risk of repetition can only be eliminated by a declaration of discontinuance with a penalty.

The fine here may have been minimal, but the law allows a penalty of €250,000 ($286,000) per violation, which the court warns the website operator is not only possible, but probable, if the problem doesn't go away. There's also the (very slim) chance the improper use of Google Fonts could result in prison time, because that's also a potential GDPR violation penalty.

While the solution here appears to be simple enough -- self-host fonts -- the reality of the situation is that this decision will lead to yet another pop-up asking for consent that will stand between site users and the content they're trying to access, and that no one will read before clicking "accept." It won't make the web a better place and it won't do much to limit the sharing of personal data with off-site entities. It will just make everything a little more annoying.

Read 3 remaining paragraphs | Comments

Over a decade ago, we wrote about how Google had to edit out the Australian Aboriginal flag from a logo because of copyright concerns. An 11-year-old girl had won a contest to design a Google logo for Australia Day, and her logo included a simple drawing of the popular Aboriginal flag. Harold Thomas created a (fairly simple) flag design "as a symbol of unity and national identity" for the Aboriginal people in Australia. The flag became quite popular... and then Thomas basically became a copyright landlord, demanding payment for pretty much any usage.

In 2019, Thomas did a big licensing deal with a clothing company and proceeded to send out a bunch of cease-and-desist letters to others. It got so bad that the Australian Senate sought to have the government figure out a way to make sure the public could use the flag.

Apparently it took over two years, but the "deal" has been worked out -- and it involves the Australian government paying over $20 million to basically buy out the copyright and the former licensing deals, but that still doesn't mean the flag is truly in the public domain:

Mr Thomas will retain moral rights over the flag, but has agreed to give up copyright in return for all future royalties the Commonwealth receives from commercial flag sales to be put towards the ongoing work of NAIDOC.

A commercial company will keep its exclusive licence to be able to manufacture Aboriginal flags for commercial use, but the government said the company would not stop people from making their own flags for personal use.

So, given that he retains the moral rights, that suggests he will still have the power to stop anyone from using the flag in a way that he, personally, disapproves of. And the fact that there's still a license for commercial use, means that the government is still effectively enforcing the copyright.

So, in the end this was $20 million of taxpayer money... to basically pledge not to go after people for personal use.

Prime Minister Scott Morrison said the flag would be managed in a similar manner to the Australian national flag, where its use is free, but must be presented in a "respectful and dignified way".

"All Australians can now put the Aboriginal Flag on apparel such as sports jerseys and shirts, it can be painted on sports grounds, included on websites, in paintings and other artworks, used digitally and in any other medium without having to ask for permission or pay a fee," Mr Morrison said.

"We’ve freed the Aboriginal Flag for Australians."

With a whole bunch of caveats. If it's used in a manner that someone disapproves of, you better believe that it won't be seen as "free" for use. Hell, even the Google example from a decade ago probably wouldn't work, because I would bet the Australian government would argue that was a "commercial" use.

Mr Thomas said the flag's design was his dreaming story.

"The Flag represents the timeless history of our land and our people’s time on it. It is an introspection and appreciation of who we are," he said.

"It draws from the history of our ancestors, our land, and our identity and will honour these well into the future."

Seems just slightly ironic for a landlord who claimed ownership of a concept and then locked people out would call that a representative sample of "the timeless history of our land."

A French / US research team, who analysed the outcomes of more than 4 million court cases, found that, if you’re a defendant :

Having a decision on one’s birthday reduces the sentence by 4 days out of an average total sentence length of 127 days

If you’re wondering why a defendant may get more favorably treated if it’s their birthday :

The effect seems at least partly driven by the fact that the birthday defendants are convicted of a less severe crime, a proxy for partial acquittal or re-qualification in court, effectively amounting to a shorter maximum sentence length of 27 days out of 1,283 (a 2% reduction)

See : Clash of Norms: Judicial Leniency on Defendant Birthdays

 

 

 

 

 

In late 2020, Massachusetts lawmakers (with overwhelming public support) passed an expansion of the state's "right to repair" law. The original law was the first in the nation to be passed in 2013. The update dramatically improved it, requiring that, as of this year, all new telematics-equipped vehicles be accessible via a standardized, transparent platform that allows owners and third-party repair shops to access vehicle data via a mobile device. The goal: reduce repair monopolies, and make it cheaper and easier to get your vehicle repaired.

Of course major auto manufacturers didn't like this, so they set about trying to demonize the law with false claims and a $26 million ad campaign, including one ad falsely claiming the expansion would only really help sexual predators. Once the law passed (again, with the overwhelming support of voters) automakers sued to stop it, which has delayed its implementation. Simultaneously, they're pushing legislation that would delay the bill's launch date until 2025, giving them more time to kill it.

In the interim, companies like Kia and Subaru have started disabling useful features (like remote start), and blaming the law:

"Subaru disabled the telematics system and associated features on new cars registered in Massachusetts last year as part of a spat over a right-to-repair ballot measure approved, overwhelmingly, by the state’s voters in 2020. The measure, which has been held up in the courts, required automakers to give car owners and independent mechanics more access to data about the car’s internal systems.

But the “open data platform” envisioned by the law doesn’t exist yet, and automakers have filed suit to prevent the initiative from taking effect. So first Subaru and then Kia turned off their telematics systems on their newest cars in Massachusetts, irking drivers like the Ferrellis. “This was not to comply with the law—compliance with the law at this time is impossible—but rather to avoid violating it,” Dominick Infante, a spokesperson for Subaru, wrote in a statement. Kia did not respond to a request for comment."

Recall that the Massachusetts law needed to be expanded in the first place because automakers were behaving in predatory ways as they attempted to monopolize repair. That law is now on hold... and may never actually be implemented...because of the industry lawsuit. While complying with it may prove difficult given the archaic nature of many car systems (Wired finds an engineer willing to argue as much), completely disabling all telematics system seems performative. You're to assume that the same industry that falsely claimed the law would only be of benefit to sex pests, is genuinely worried about compliance and not, say, interested in finding creative ways to vilify the new law or gain leverage in the ongoing lawsuit aimed at killing it entirely.

Given the industry's track record of honesty so far on this subject, trusting that this truly was a purely technical consideration feels like a big ask.

In the interim this is only one of countless battles no going on around the country as consumers, farmers, medical professionals, and others fight back against obnoxious DRM, repair monopolies, and draconian crackdowns on independent repair. Three different federal right to repair legislative proposals were introduced this week alone, in addition to more than a dozen state proposals already introduced. At this point, for repair monopolists, the right to repair movement is a sort of finger trap puzzle in that the more they wriggle and clamp down on independent, affordable repair options, the bigger the movement gets.

This post, naked saunas with colleagues, avoiding eating lunch with a boss, and more , was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Naked saunas with colleagues

I work in the international affairs arena, although based in the U.S. Some of my Finnish colleagues have invited me to a private sauna event, with the invitees limited but not provided to other invitees. The FAQ notes that sauna events are single sex but expected to be naked, although remaining in swimsuit/robe is acceptable. I know naked sauna is normal in Finland, but I have a hard time imagining being comfortable naked even among other us and Finnish female colleagues I need to work with in other contexts. If I refuse to go, I am concerned about cultural faux pas or missing out on networking opportunities that would be beneficial professionally. I was out of town for the first invite but expect future invites as long as I have this role. How should I address this issue? My boss is male and unlikely to give me direction one way or another due to gender awkwardness and general non-confrontation.

It’s 100% up to what you’re comfortable with, and if you’re uneasy being naked around colleagues (an entirely understandable way to feel!) it’s fully reasonable to bow out. It’s not a cultural faux pas to be from a country with different norms; just as you know that Finnish culture is more relaxed about nudity, your Finnish colleagues will be aware that many other cultures are less so. (And from Nordic readers’ responses when this has come up here before, they won’t want you doing something that makes you uncomfortable.) A cheerful “the sauna isn’t for me, but have a great time” is all you should need to say.

2. How can I get out of eating lunch with my boss?

My boss asks me to eat lunch with her every day. I understand that she is trying to include me, but the truth is I like to eat my lunch alone and read my book or call my sister. She tends to talk nonstop and we don’t have anything in common besides work. Notably, the job is not in my first language, and having to speak my non-native language during lunch doesn’t allow me to recharge. Having lunch with her essentially requires me to be double-“on.”

I had avoided lunch with her before, but she noticed me pivot when headed to an outdoor area where she and a coworker were sitting, and somehow took it as an indication that I felt left out. What should I do? My lunch break is only 30 minutes, so I can’t really use appointments as an excuse.

Assuming you can’t just take lunch at a different time than her, be straightforward! “Thanks for inviting me, but I’ve got a book I’ve got to get through / it’s the only time I can call my sister today.” Or, if you want an answer that will serve you longer-term: “Thanks for inviting me. I usually try to read or call my family during lunch but I appreciate the invitation!”

That said, if you’re up for doing lunch with her occasionally (meaning like once every month or two), it could be a useful investment in the relationship.

3. How should I disclose at my new job that I have kids?

Today I accepted an offer for a fantastic job with a wonderful organization. (I’m so excited!) For various reasons, the hiring process was unusually long and involved multiple interviews with largely the same group of people.

During the entire process, I never disclosed that I have two children. Discrimination against single moms is real—even if subconscious—and I simply didn’t want that to be a factor in my candidacy. I never had to lie … but there were three or four moments that would have been obvious times to share (such as when they asked how I like to spend my free time outside of work).

Now that I’ve gotten the job, how should I reveal the fact that I have kids? Believe me when I say they will be *very* surprised. It’s a small staff made up of lovely, supportive people; I won’t be able to hide my family’s details, nor do I want to. But I also don’t want any of them, especially my new manager, to feel like we started off with a lie. How should I spill the beans?

They might be less shocked than you’re fearing! Not mentioning your kids in response to questions about how you like to spend your time isn’t that weird, especially in an interview (where lots of people have been trained not to mention kids at all). And frankly, they may not even have clear memories of those sorts of small-talk questions and answers. But even if they’re surprised when they hear you have kids, that’s okay!

Let it come up organically — mention your kids the same way you would at any other job, like in response to a question about your plans for the weekend or needing to leave on time to get to your daughter’s piano recital or however else it comes up. Even if they’re momentarily surprised, it won’t be a big deal and — unless you literally said the words “I do not have children” — no one is likely to feel you started off with a lie since it’s not info that you were ever obligated to share. It’ll just be new information about you that they’ll process quickly.

4. My boss won’t talk to me about raises or promotions

My boss and I discussed letting them know if I was interested in any internal postings/promotion opportunities when we had discussed my desire to grow and if the org could be a space for it. When we discuss it in theory, it goes well. However, when I have sent them internal postings I get literally no response, and attempts to discuss them are deflected or ignored. Do I apply anyhow (even though my supervisor would be notified as a part of the process), do I look elsewhere though I don’t want to have to leave the org to grow, or something else? When asking about role growth or raises, I get similar non-responses or comments that it isn’t in their “area” or they don’t have the authority to discuss raises, etc.

From your boss’s actions, I would assume they aren’t likely to take any action to help you grow in the company. I don’t know if that’s because they’re lazy, have concerns about your work that they haven’t been up-front about, are subject to internal pressures you don’t know about, or something else, but their actions say pretty clearly not to look to them for help. If you want, you could try asking why that is — as in, “You encouraged me to talk to you about promotion opportunities that I’m interested in, but when I’ve suggested specific roles, you haven’t been responsive. Is it something about the roles I’m interested in, or is there a different way I should approach this?” If they tell you a raise or promotion is outside of their authority, you could say, “Who should I speak with about it? It’s increasingly important to me to address.”

But yeah, I’d assume you’re going to have to look outside the organization if you want to move up. You can definitely keep applying to internal openings and don’t need your boss’s sign-off to do that, but based on your boss’s action/non-action so far, make sure those aren’t the only options you’re giving yourself.

5. Employer requests four weeks of notice

I am in the process of job hunting and have had a lot of great responses to my resume and cover letters (thanks to all your advice – I hope I’ll be writing in with some Friday Good News soon!). One of my colleagues gave her notice recently and when I was talking to her about her new position, she mentioned that our employee handbook stipulates that exempt employees should give four weeks notice. I live in an at-will state. I’ll give as much notice as I can, but I also want to take some time between positions and I don’t think it’s fair to ask a new employer to wait five weeks! Do they have any way to enforce this or would it just leave a negative impression? Looking at the handbook, it also specifically references that employment can be terminated at any time and is at-will. Seems like they’re trying to get the best of both worlds!

They can’t legally bind you into giving any notice at all (unless you have a contract, which most U.S. workers don’t). Giving notice is a professional courtesy but not a legal requirement.

That said, sometimes employers have policies that they won’t pay out accrued vacation unless you give X amount of notice, so you’d want to be aware of that. (That’s legal in states that leave vacation pay-out policies up to employers; some states do and some don’t.) Beyond that, though, it’s just about the relationship and reputation you want to preserve with them. Giving no notice is likely to be a big deal (unless it’s because of a health emergency or so forth), but even companies that ask for four weeks often don’t react badly to two weeks. I’d simply say your last day will be (date) and then if you’re pushed to give more say, “I’m sorry, because of the start date at the new job, I need to give a standard two weeks.” Make sure you slip the word “standard” in there to underscore that it is, in fact, standard.

New comic!
Today's News:

Hello and welcome to probably the fewest mouths I've ever had to draw in a comic!

I liked the internet better when it was websites.

Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
Fortunately, if you're huddled in the darkness of an apartment under a pile of blankets you won't see it.

Today's News:

MP3s! In the late 90s few things were more exciting in the world of music, computers, the internet, and general gadgetry. And the original 1998 Diamond Rio was one of the trailblazers that kicked off the whole portable digital audio player craze. It may not have been the very first, but it came close! If nothing else, its impact was noteworthy from being the first to be commercially successful in North America, and the legal pushback it endured from the RIAA set a lasting precedent for all other MP3 players to come.

● LGR links:
https://www.patreon.com/LazyGameReviews
https://www.twitter.com/LazyGameReviews
https://www.facebook.com/LazyGameReviews

● All background music licensed from:
http://www.epidemicsound.com

#LGR #Retro #Technology

Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
Because if you did, hand it over.

Today's News: