Hpecker

We got a request from a regular client (a large marketing firm) for some major work that needed to be done in two days. The work required staff overtime, multiple disrupted schedules, and a lot of favors from some freelancers we work with, but the client was willing to pay a premium for us to meet their schedule.

We received numerous phone calls from the client during this time, each one a request for updates and reassurances because “if the project is delayed by even a day it will cause all sorts of problems.”

We uploaded the final project to our secure downloads site. All the projects here are available for three months. Afterwards, they are moved to an offline archive

The client thanked us for working so hard to meet their deadline, and they confirmed receipt of the download details.

Six months later, my supervisor got a frantic call from the client asking where the download is. My supervisor explained that it was online for three months, but it has been archived. She reassured the client that we can restore it from our archives.

While this is happening, a get a phone call from someone in another division at the client’s workplace, asking the same question, demanding that the link work within five minutes, and wanting to know if we treat all of our clients this poorly.  

After we reposted the files, I decided to check the download logs for the original posting. The client never visited the original download link.

Needless to say, any further rush jobs from this client were taken with a grain of salt. 

I’m going to promise you that this won’t go well.

I also like how libertarian assholes in particular always like to front like they’re the model of independence and responsibility, and refuse to admit that they fucking benefit and leech off the shit that we all got together to protect, clean, regulate or whatever. It’s like, hey dipshits, if you’re so fucking independent, stop breathing this clean air we fought for.

fromseveralroomsaway:

leannewoodfull:

lutefisktacoandbeer:

kittymudface:

It gets better—the guy is deaf, and he taught his cat the sign for “food.” So the cat’s not just saying “put that in my mouth,” it’s actually signing

Not only that, but if you notice at the beginning, the cat *gets the man’s attention* as any person who wanted to talk to a deaf/hoh individual would (well, and vice versa IME). I’ve done sign since I was 5, and generally, w/o eye contact initially, you wave a hand or lightly touch the arm (if that’s ok with the person you’re trying to converse with, of course). 
Generally, adult cats meow mostly to humans, but this cat has figured out that’s not going to work and has adapted. Animal companions! They are INCREDIBLE.

Amazing.

EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND LOOK AT THIS CAT.

The magic of cats

For Alan

milokerrigan:

how-do-i-spell-your-url:

ilovecoffeeandcats:

if you think you are unattractive just remember you look like your ancestors and hey all of them got laid

but what if you were adopted

I’m not up on the whole genetics thing

but

if you’re adopted you still have to have biological ancestors right

tbotgojctsodtsoaabiaibjajbjbahba:

emilyslade91:

Beautifully Shameless 

These make me feel uncomfortable

thebacksideofthewall:

I swear the fuckin producers of the simpsons knew shit was an issue before anyone opened their eyes.

We don’t usually take submissions like this one, but it’s such a glimpse into madness, it couldn’t go ignored.

bombing:

assassinboygregory:

bombing:

hey what’s up

It’s a movie about a old man turning his house into a hot air balloon

thanks

japhers:

buffdaddyjohn:

ybee:

ive been laughing for the last half an hour because sun bears exist

help

#ITS LIKE SOMEONE #TRIED TO DRAW A BEAR #AND CO uLDN T

IT’S THE SUN-SUN TO THE MOON-MOON

Yeah, that’s some real assistant principal vibes.

siderealscion:

mALEFISHIENT, MARK

ive been meaning to make work-related comics forever, so enjoy some choice movie title bastardizations.

(these all actually, seriously, happened, with no humor or awareness on the part of the customer at the time as far as I could tell. so, yes, someone actually asked for a ticket to “Detergent” with a straight face.)

Cloudy Meat Chance.

roachpatrol:

kalamboart:

So i was speaking to my sister and she told me to draw a reverse centaur and this is what i pictured but i don’t think she pictured this

hot

sashayed:

sashayed:

everyone has that one text post that you suddenly remember and weirdly bark-laugh in the shower

pomethedoge:

deadlydinos:

youarenotyou:

lnfamy:

i never knew friendzoning boys was as easy as saying thanks im gonna use my manners more

further evidence that straight boys think compliments are magic words that are supposed to make women immediately strip naked 

What’s the appropriate, non-friendzoning response?

"You look pretty today."

"Okay, fine, I’ll suck your dick."

when will  straight boys stop

For real, damn.

Don’t come here fronting on that Lord Of The Rings bullshit dogg.

G-Unit is the one with zero Academy Awards.

I don’t beleaf you.

I think maybe public defender?

Uh, or donated that shit to Michael Browns family, but yeah, I feel your basic idea.

Why, is it tough being a racial minority?