Hpecker

Is that the sequel to Let’s Be Cops?

silohouettes:

My friend just made this status

giantmechanicalants:

theflyingdutchman:

why do people get so mad about puns? they’re literally the nicest kind of humor. they make nobody feel bad. it’s just clever. sometimes it’s original. learn to like puns. don’t let society run your life

Some may not admit it, but 99% of the anger people experience after a good pun comes from the fact that they didn’t think of it first.

dankotaxvx:

hey mom my friends are here, ill be back later

pleatedjeans:

Go follow @endhooS

From an animated YouTube series I was a voice actor on: 

Client: Hey, I just wanted to let you know that [a fellow cast member] killed himself last night.

Me: Oh my God! That’s terrible! 

Client: It’s okay, I’ve sent out emails to potential replacements, and we should be back on track with recording by the end of the week.

Me: Wait, what? I’m really not comfortable with that. Can we at least take a break before recasting him, since this is a not-for-profit series anyway?

Client: He would have wanted the show to go on. 

Me: What?

I got no response to this. That night:

Client: False alarm guys, [the cast member] is alive and well! I just assumed he’d killed himself because he was acting really depressed and he didn’t answer the IM I sent him a couple of hours earlier. Everything’s back to normal, so let’s move on to episode three!

I think we have to conclude that, fake and real, Alan Thicke might be incapable of not raising fucking bigots.

asylum-art:

Magical Paths Begging To Be Walked

Roads and paths pervade our literature, poetry, artwork, linguistic expressions and music. Even photographers can’t keep their eyes (and lenses) off of a beautiful road or path, which is why we collected this list of 28 amazing photos of paths.

Paths like these have a powerful grip on the human imagination – they can bring adventure, promise and change or solitude, peace and calm. There’s nothing like a walk down a beautiful path to clear your head – or to fill it with ideas!

I’ll leave you with an excellent quote from J. R. R. Tolkien’s works while you enjoy these images; “It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.“

1. Autumn In The White Carpathians
2. Rhododendron Laden Path, Mount Rogers, Virginia, USA
3. Spring In Hallerbos Forest, Belgium
4. Autumn Path In Kyoto, Japan 
5. Autumn Path
6. Bamboo Path In Kyoto, Japan
7. Hitachi Seaside Park Path In Japan
8. Dark Hedges In Ireland
9. Winter Forest Path, Czech Republic
10. Path Under Blooming Trees In Spring

original-plastic:

Homosexuality is unnatural! It says so in this book where snakes talk, people come back from the dead, a guy walks on water, and a virgin has a baby.

h3adphonez:

volatilevibes:

Okay so, where I live (Canada, Newfoundland) we have the smallest ponies.

And the biggest dogs

Here’s a size comparison for the Newfoundland dog 

and together

That is a full grown dog and pony together LOOK AT THAT!
Now if you don’t think that’s the greatest shit ever I don’t know what is!

I’m moving…BYE MOM

getinthefuckingjaeger:

nostopdasgay:

catslock:

condelimoncio:

 MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE

THAT’S CHEATING

This is a blatant violation of trust

YOU LYING FUCKS I SPENT MY WHOLE LIFE ADMIRING THE BRICK LAYERS THAT ALWAYS LAY THE BRICKS NEAT AND PERFECTLY LINED UP HOLY SHIT I LOOK UP TO YOU HOW COULD YOU

westernkanye:

An important purchase

herbgodess:

Why say no to drugs? they cant even hear you

malkiewicz:

Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest that just sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.

kurgs:

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails

cattailsandcattales:

urbies:

Great moments in tv history

The best part is how the hand giving the cigarette doesn’t belong to anyone in the room—no one is wearing that shirt.

jqsilver:

crimson-sun:

I remember you.

T-T

Ah man this song is so sad

gawfzilla:

the one TRUE secret to a great sex life

Did you know that if you ask a priest for forgiveness, he HAS to give it to you? Pretty screwed up, right? It’s through this loophole that a number of clever folks have really bamboozled the Big Guy Upstairs. I once heard that two priests teamed up to forgive each other, while one of them would mug people and the other would pour animal urine on their recently mugged victims! Where are those priests now? Heaven. Where are their victims? Covered in animal urine, and in Hell. Except for one of them who is still alive and kicking in West Covina, but if she doesn’t Accept The Lord she’s headed straight to hell with the rest of them!

If I had a million dollars, I’d hire a team of priests to follow me around, and forgive me for everything I do! It’s basically the Fear of Going to Hell that keeps me from being a total sociopath, and I’d really like to try pouring animal urine on people after mugging them! It sounds like so much fun. *Sigh*

T

thetidesinitsgrave:

wawaqueen:

Maybe I should do the Boo Radley Challenge where I stay in my house for 25 years and never leave

This is the greatest literary reference I’ve ever read.

reallyreallyreallytrying:

yo i ain’t saying she’s a gold-digger but she does carry a weird pan everywhere and keep mumbling stuff about “gold in them there hills” idk so yeah she is probably a gold digger

stannisbaratheon:

@WorstMuse is a relic of the human race

Damn, I didn’t even think about that.