Hpecker

Brian Kemp, Asshole of the Day for September 23, 2014

by TeaPartyCat (Follow @TeaPartyCat)

Today is National Voter Registration Day. And as I’ve said before, if you don’t think all citizens should be able to vote, then you are un-American:

If you believe in democracy, then you believe that every vote counts the same and that the more people who participate the better.

If you would rather try to keep people from voting than try to convince them of your platform, well, you really don’t care about democracy or voting.

And if you’re trying to keep people from voting, then please stop quoting the Declaration of Independence, since the high crime of taxation without representation would necessarily apply to all the people you are trying to prevent from voting, while still expecting them to pay sales tax, income tax, property tax, and the rest. Because without voting, there is no representation.

So I don’t have much patience for people who worry about too many minorities voting, as Georgia Secretary of State Brian Kemp does:

You know the Democrats are working hard, and all these stories about them, you know, registering all these minority voters that are out there and others that are sitting on the sidelines, if they can do that, they can win these elections in November,” Kemp said in his speech. “But we’ve got to do the exact same thing.”

"Everybody remembers ACORN right? When ACORN was out registering people to vote they were filling out applications, they were sending out stuff and you don’t know who those people are, where they’re from, the people they’re registering, and the people that are filling those out," Kemp said earlier in the speech. Kemp went on to tout online voter registration which, he said, reduces a number of voter fraud loopholes.

When I hear him worry about Democrats registering minorities, I keep asking— why are people like him so worried about minority voters? Why do they assume minorities won’t vote for them? Why do they assume minority voters should scare the audience they are addressing?

It’s hard not to think it’s racism. He’s racist, or he’s playing to racial fears of his audience. And let’s be honest— does it matter whether you are a racist in your heart of hearts if you play to the racial fears of others to advance your own career and agenda? Probably not. You enabled racism and you fanned it in others.

Guys like Brian Kemp are afraid of minority voters, not because they dispute that they are entitled to vote, but because they are sure they won’t vote for them. And why wouldn’t minorities vote for guys like Brian Kemp? Is it because their policies harm minorities? Because Georgia is one of those states that refuses to expand Medicaid, and Medicaid will help a lot of minorities get health insurance?

And as Secretary of State, Brian Kemp oversees voting in his state. And he’s dragging his feet about accepting all these people Democrats registered:

At a hearing in front of the Georgia Elections Board, the Secretary of State’s office revealed their reasoning for their voter fraud-claiming media deluge last week. It was 25 voter registration applications out of 85,000 submitted that were giving it pause. These applications had already been flagged by Stacey Abrams’s group, The New Georgia Project, but they were required to submit them anyway. Also revealed in this meeting was that 51,000 of the 85,000 hadn’t been processed even though most were submitted months ago.

Yep. He’s trying to stop 51,000 people from voting because 25 look suspicious, even though the people who submitted them flagged them as suspicious. So he could investigate those 25, and move on the rest. But he’d rather not. He’s worried that those people might not vote with him, even though they are legally entitled to. And for that, he is the Asshole of the Day.

It is Brian Kemps’s first time as Asshole of the Day, but one of several from Georgia featured in the last 2 weeks:

• Sen. Fran Miller would prefer fewer black voters
• candidate Jody Hice claims violence increased since school prayer ended, even though violence is at 40-year low
• Gov. Nathan Deal blames high unemployment numbers on shifty statisticians

Full story: Talking Points Memo.

flyartproductions:

Soundtrack 2 the furies

Orestes pursued by the Furies (c. 1862), William-Adolphe Bouguereau / Soundtrack 2 My Life, KiD CuDi

I was once put on the naughty step by an agency I freelanced for. Everyone in the building was working like Roman galley slaves, constantly under pressure, literally seven days a week, putting in stupid hours every day. It was great for my bank balance but family life took a major hit.

Anyway, the boss recognised that things were getting out of hand (especially freelance costs – who’d have thought it?) so he sent round a memo entitled “Work/life balance.” It basically thanked everyone for putting in so much effort and time to help the business, and said that he realised things were going too far and that something had to be done (the first thing would have been to stop telling clients they could have the moon on a stick by 6pm).

That was sort of ok. But then the email said:

“Most importantly, we need to find a way to solve the problem of our work/life balance. So if you could all have a think about it over the weekend and get back to me with some ideas on Monday, that will be a great start.”

They never forgave me for how loud I laughed when I read it.

Nah, those people are just oversensitive.

via pohutukaryl

iloveoldmagazines:

Scouting

1982 Vol. 70, No. 3

Just came over to lend a hand.

Based on what I’ve learned from my time in Hollywood, the following titles are my best guess as to what may soon be coming to a theatre near you:  

“Bananagrams 3D”     

“Apples to Apples 4D” (The audience is pummelled with apples at the end of the movie.)   

“Crest Whitestrips”  

“Sharks vs. Volcanoes”

“King Tut vs. King Kong”   

“Streptococcus vs. Candidiasis” (Strep Throat vs. Yeast Infection) 

“The Do-Over” 

“The Switcheroo”

“Street Smart”

 “Street Stupid” (“Street Smart” sequel)

  “Fat Astronaut”

“The Untitled Liam Neeson Vendetta Project”

In 2011, Mindy Kaling accurately predicted both “A Walk Among the Tombstones” and “Taken 3.”

When you contact me via my website, a few drop-down menus offer some options for the services you might be interested in. It helps me sort jobs and gives me some more initial info on what the client wants.

I received an email from a client telling me they’re after a single half-hour profile shoot, which is offered for people that need a couple of headshots for business or LinkedIn profiles, etc.

This being such a small service, there’s no need for a face-to-face, so we correspond by email. She asks me to meet her at a particular time and place. She wants the natural light offered by the location, and doesn’t need external lighting. I bring my basic kit: tripod, monopod, DSLR, a couple of lenses, and a flash for fill light if needed.

I get to the location. The client is wearing a wedding dress and is surrounded by six other women in matching bridesmaid dresses. She stands up and thanks me for coming. I’m assuming the worst, but I ask anyway:

Me: What’s with the wedding getup? Is it a fitting or a dress rehearsal and I just happen to be getting some profile shots at the same location?

Nope. It’s actually her wedding day, and she’s hired me as the photographer. She starts telling me all about how she wants shots of the people mingling outside, her and her bridesmaids, the groom and groomsmen, and how I ‘should be able to work out the usual stuff on my own.’

I asked her why she told me it was a profile shoot when it was actually a wedding, saying I was dangerously unprepared for a wedding shoot. She tells me - proud of being so cunning - that she figured I’d charge her wedding rates, so she’d get a better deal if she told me it was just a cheaper shoot. I told her that’s not how it works, and gave her my usual price for a wedding. She just shook her head and said:

Client: I’ll give you the price we agreed to and I signed a contract for. Besides, you said you were unprepared - a real pro would be ready for anything!

I chose to leave.

micdotcom:

America’s best states for raising black children have virtually no black children

In April, the Annie E. Casey Foundation published a study measuring the best and worst U.S. states for raising black kids. The researchers took 12 statistical metrics, from “babies born at normal birth weight” to “young adults ages 19 to 26 who are in school or working,” and made an index showing the educational, financial and career prospects for the typical black child in that state.

The results aren’t pretty | Follow micdotcom

flyartproductions:

King David dreams of Versace

King David playing the harp (1622), Gerard van Honthorst / Versace, Migos ft. Drake, Meek Mill, Tyga, & Los

Thanks to @megalops for this submission!

Well, for some people.

Sleep Is For The Rich

Be careful what you wish for! It just might come true… but not on its own, only if you put a lot of work into it.

But, then again be careful what you wish for if you plan to put a lot of work into it, because it just might not come true!

Basically, if wishes are involved, be really, really careful. In fact, it’s probably a good idea to just stop wishing entirely. That’s why, instead of wishing, I state my “Preference of Outcome.” It’s a totally non-cumbersome way of expressing what I want to happen!

My friend Armando will say, “Hey, look! It’s famous billionaire Ted Turner!” at which point I robotically raise my arms and shout, “PREFERENCE OF OUTCOME: Me having a lot of money!” See, this way I have avoided setting my expectations too high for something that will never happen, and I also am avoiding implying that I’m ready and willing to do the work to get to that place. The best of both worlds! And no one is weirded out by me shouting like a broken robot with unrealistic hopes!

PREFERENCE OF OUTCOME: You trying this sometime! You just might like it

T

by TeaPartyCat (Follow @TeaPartyCat)

Last night I joked on Twitter that I didn’t care about whether Scotland voted for independence since no one had explained how to blame it on Obama:

Sorry, I just can’t make myself care whether Scotland secedes from England until someone explains how it’s all Obama’s fault.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) September 17, 2014

And then only minutes later I got this reply:

@TeaPartyCat Read the end of this @davidfrum piece…he explains how Scottish secession will be Obama’s fault http://t.co/FuntgDxC1a

— Clay C. (@ClayC1969) September 17, 2014

So I checked it out, and sure enough, if Scotland votes for independence, Frum wants to blame Obama:

In February 1995, Bill Clinton traveled to Ottawa to speak in favor of Canadian unity. “In a world darkened by ethnic conflicts that tear nations apart, Canada stands as a model of how people of different cultures can live and work together in peace, prosperity, and mutual respect,” Clinton told the Canadian Parliament. The U.S. president was a more popular figure in Quebec than that province’s own politicians, and his words likely contributed to the narrow margin of victory of the ‘No’ side in Quebec’s second and final secession referendum later that year. President Obama has played no equivalent role in the debate over the survival of America’s close ally, the United Kingdom. If the ‘Yes’ vote prevails on September 18, Obama’s omission should be remembered in the postmortem assignment of blame for a potential disaster for the peoples of Britain, Europe, and the Western alliance.

You see, Obama is now responsible for the outcomes of votes in other countries because he didn’t use his magic speech-making abilities to hypnotize them into serving the interests of the United States.

Look, if you believe in democracy, shouldn’t people in other countries be allowed to vote for their own interests and not be browbeat into voting for America’s interests?

It’s all yet more proof how hard it is to write satire when these assholes find a way to do things that were previously thought to be jokes.

grofjardanhazy:

Evolution of the Desk (1980-2014)

gif: grofjardanhazy, original video via Best Reviews

Fruit Seasonality Chart