Carl Knutson

In case you missed it, thanks to our patreon subscribers, old comics are now getting voteys! If we raise a bit more, I'll increase the rate to 2 a day!

This Safer Internet Day, we’re reminded how important online safety is and hope you’ll use this as an opportunity to take 2 minutes to complete a simple Security Checkup. While everything stored in Drive is always encrypted in transit and at rest in Google’s custom-built data centers, this checkup ensures you’re making the most of the 24/7 protection you already get from Google. As our way of saying thanks for completing the checkup by 17 February 2015, we’ll give you a permanent 2 gigabyte bump in your Google Drive storage plan.

It takes just a couple of minutes and, unlike other checkups, it won’t leave you feeling guilty about not flossing. Here’s what it does:

• Ensures your account recovery information is current
  If we detect suspicious activity in your account, we use your recovery info to get in touch and make sure no one but you gains access.
• Lets you review recent sign-in activity
  Reviewing this lets you validate the sign-ins are coming from you and not someone who shouldn't be using your credentials.
• Confirms the apps and devices that access some account information
  This step lets you monitor this list and remove apps and devices that don't need access to your account any more.

After you’ve gone through the checkup successfully, you’ll see three green checkboxes (see below) that confirm you’re eligible for the free storage and, more importantly, that you’ve taken steps to enhance your online safety. We’ll be granting the storage automatically to everyone around 28 February 2015 and we’ll send you an email when your adjustment is complete.
Ideally, you’ll revisit this checkup every so often or anytime your account changes, like when you get a new phone or replace an old laptop. While this is just one way to help you stay safe online, you can find even more tools and tips in the Google Safety Center.

UPDATE: Google Apps for Work and Google Apps for Education users are not eligible for the bonus storage but should still consider taking the Security Checkup.

Posted by Alex Vogenthaler, Group Product Manager, Google Drive

The entire internet decides to look at one famous butt at the same time. One man has to ensure that the website hosting Kardashian butt pictures doesn't crash. The sheer terror and joy of solving that problem. (Plus, a new Yes/Yes/No.) 

Lick Ice Creams will also set up shop at 6555 Burnet Road.

Bryce Gilmore's long-rumored Burnet Road project will help to usher in a complete revamp of a sleepy shopping center. The Statesman reports Gilmore will open a second location of his lauded restaurant Barley Swine, joined by the Neapolitan masters at Bufalina and beloved local ice cream shop Lick at 6555 Burnet Road. The transformation has been masterminded by Austin-based Endeavor Real Estate Group.

Bufalina's Steven Dilley tells Eater via email that Bufalina Due will be "relatively similar" to Bufalina, with their signature focus on Neapolitan pizza and wine. A larger space and traditional kitchen might also allow for menu expansion, though Dilley says it's "too early to say." He adds:

I wasn't necessarily looking to do another pizza project (I've turned down a few opportunities, as I theoretically wouldn't mind exploring other projects), but when this space came along with an opportunity to have Barley Swing and Lick as neighbors, it just made perfect sense. It's also a way to offer some of our folks more responsibility, and I think the idea fits the physical space really well.

Update! A rep for Barley Swine passes on the following statement from Bryce Gilmore. The second Barley Swine will be bigger, and they'll serve booze.

We will definitely be opening a Barley Swine at 6555 Burnet Road sometime later this year. It will be in the same spirit of the location on South Lamar with a few upgrades and changes that we're still working out. Most notably, we will be serving a full bar and have a larger dining room. We're excited to bring our fare to north Austin and looking forward to continuing to evolve Barley Swine at this location.

Tonight’s comic thinks you look good with a beard.

Tonight’s comic is about Cat Gravity.

Bloody Mary expert and Eater Austin editor emeritus Andrea Grimes shares her top picks for brunch's most essential cocktail.

Look, anyone can make a mimosa. It’s got two flipping ingredients. Don’t buy the shittiest possible kinds of the two flipping ingredients and bam, people like your mimosa. But a Bloody Mary is an adventure and an art; a brunch endeavor that requires finesse, depth and balance. It’s easy enough to make a passable Bloody—throw some Zing Zang and pepper vodka in a glass—but another feat altogether to make a truly remarkable tomato cocktail. I’m here to honor those who have gone above and beyond.

In 2014, I drank approximately 75 different Bloody Marys—including a handful of Micheladas, that other majestic tomato-based eye-opener—on my ongoing quest to find the most perfect Bloody Mary in Austin. For what is an eggs Benedict, a French toast, a beef tongue hash without a fine Bloody Mary with which to wash it down? That’s just plain old breakfast, and you deserve better than plain old breakfast. You, Eater reader, deserve brunch.

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Hi-Hat Public House

If once you had told me that a sake Bloody Mary would end up being my favorite in all the land, I would have told you to go stuff a pickled okra where the sun don’t shine. And that would have been very rude, because the best Bloody Mary in Austin is at the Hi-Hat Public House, a beer-and-wine only establishment that mixes a light tomato cocktail with a spoonful of garlic and herbs, heavy on the hint of cilantro. At $8 they’re not the cheapest Bloodies in town, but I always budget for two.

Blackbird and Henry

It’s not often that the first sip of a new Bloody Mary makes me say "wow," but Blackbird and Henry’s soft, sweet Bloody had me ready to reshape my top three local favorites within seconds. Garnished with pickled okra and lemon that add just the right amount of bite, the Blackbird Bloody is also available as a Michelada, and it’s just as good.

Frank

Downtown hot dog and Southern-cooking emporium Frank is, put simply, not fucking around when it comes to the spicy, meaty Red-Headed Stranger, their epic, bacon-garnished Bloody that comes in two sizes (get the big one, come on, who are you even kidding?) and with a Pearl chaser. Because Pearl is undrinkable on its own, I use it to extend the life of my Stranger by pouring it directly in the glass while I’m waiting on my second round.

Hoover’s Cooking

It’s fitting that an Austin Southern cooking institution like Hoover’s would feature one of the city’s finest Bloody Marys, a light but tomatoey beverage that complements Hoover Alexander’s extremely serious, fried-meats heavy breakfast menu. At $4.50 the Hoover’s ‘Mary is tasty and cheap enough that you’ll want two, because that garlic salt and black pepper rim will keep you coming back.

Komé

The best under-the-radar Japanese spot in Austin serves a phenomenal Bloody Mary. At Komé, their sake-based, Sriracha-tinged Bloody is a stand-out at their weekend lunch service. Rich without being overpowering and spicy without requiring a fire truck, it’s the perfect beverage to pair with a hangover-easing bowl of ramen.

Contigo

It would be a shame if one of Austin’s prettiest patio restaurants didn’t offer a better-than-average Bloody, but Contigo rarely disappoints, does it? Contigo’s Bloody Mary—which you can order with a variety of other liquors besides vodka, though I recommend sticking with the classic recipe—features a mild mix in a refined presentation (love their salted glasses), with the easy drinkability required for a lazy outdoor brunch.

Jack Allen’s Kitchen

Never let it be said that Jack Gilmore does anything halfway. Whether served with lunch, dinner or the brunch buffet, this extremely spicy, perfectly garnished Bloody Mary holds its own alongside the rest of the Jack Allen’s Kitchen menu, peppered (see what I did there?) with belt-buckle-busting culinary feats like the chicken-fried beef rib.

Mi Madre’s

A Michelada of some refinement, not content to drown itself in Clamato, the Mi Madre’s brunch beer cocktail is not going to please everyone in the crowd. It’s heavy on Worcestershire, limon, and spices and makes for a beautiful mahogany pour, notably different from its bright-red brothers and sisters at other Tex-Mex establishments.

Alamo Drafthouse

I’ve never managed to take a picture of the Ginger-Wasabi Bloody Mary at the Alamo Drafthouse, because I keep my damn phone silent and in my purse or pocket during films just like every other halfway decent human being on planet Earth. But the Alamo’s Bloody is a thing of delicious beauty, delicately dancing between the distinctly, and differently, spicy tones of its namesake ingredients. Take care to specifically order this drink—the Drafthouse does offer a traditional Bloody, and it’s not nearly as good.

La Condesa

Look, the La Condesa Bloody Mary itself isn’t going to set your taste buds on fire—though it is indeed an ideal mix of spice and tomato—but the price will have you under the table before you finish your first one. At $2, they’re amazingly cheap and perfectly balanced, served in a spicy lime, garlic, pepper and salt rimmed glass.

LaV

A great garnish can send a Bloody Mary into the stratosphere, and that’s precisely what’s happening with the delicate but flavorful LaV Bloody. Garnished with fiddleheads, radishes and other homemade pickles, LaV serves a Bloody that you’ll be as comfortable ordering for grandma as you will for the most finicky of food snobs.

Workhorse Bar

Like so many things at the best neighborhood bar in Austin (I’m biased, it’s my local, IDGAF), the Workhorse Bloody Mary is so much better than it needs to be. With a peppery jalapeno finish, the basic pour comes without Worcestershire in case there are any vegetarians in the crowd, but just ask for a dollop with yours and they’ll be happy to oblige if you’d like to meaten it up.

Hopfields

Attention to detail is one of the things that makes any trip to Hopfields enjoyable, but it ensures excellence in their sake-based Bloody Mary. Sake lightens up their thick, tomatoey mix, and the homemade pickled garnishes—again, with the garnishes!—make it an enduring winner.

give it another shot, tire king. you’ll connect with that valuable 13-18 tire purchasing demographic yet.

this comic is dedicated to my current favorite twitter account, @BrandsSayingBae. keep em honest, nephew

The city's most beloved staple had a banner year.

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Austin is a town built on Tex Mex, and it's a safe bet many Austinites eat tacos more often than any other meal out. The breakfast taco inspires a cultish devotion, and everywhere from high-end restaurants to late night trailers ply this taco-crazed city with an endless supply of meat and vegetables wrapped in tortillas.

2014 was a year of major changes: the big loss of Tamale House, a sorta-resurrection of Taco Flats, and significant expansions by both Torchy's and Tacodeli. Fusion was huge: East Side King, The Peached Tortilla, and Fork and Taco all rolled out Asian-inspired tacos. When Obama came to town, Fresa's created a taco especially for El Presidente. Here's the biggest stories in the 2014 taco world.

The Burnet Road Taco Boom

The abundance of restaurant and commercial space on Burnet, not to mention all the surrounding residential neighborhoods, has made the long, busy road into a booming dining strip. Many of the openings are designed to be affordable and family-friendly: in Austin, that means a whole lot of tacos.

The most hotly anticipated newcomer was Fork & Taco, a high-end fast casual concept from longtime Uchi chef Casey Fannin. Every taco is served on handmade tortillas, and the menu runs the gamut from green chili pork to crispy cauliflower. They also soft serve in funky flavors like soy maple.

Up the street, bar and restaurant Taco Flats opened, with an al pastor trompo as its centerpiece. Taking the name of a legendary hippie dive, the new Taco Flats instead offered craft beer, quality spirits, and traditional tacos on, yes, handmade tortillas. Owner Simon Madera hails from the Valley, and serves a menu of classics like carnitas, carne asada, and of course, al pastor. Right next door, longtime food truck empire The Peached Tortilla opened a full service restaurant featuring their Asian fusion tacos.

Local chain Tacodeli opened their fifth Austin location on Burnet this year as well, and Torchy's maintains a long-established beachhead. The restaurant fairy will bring many, many more restaurants to Burnet, though no new taco projects are on the horizon, yet.

Fork and Taco, The Peached Tortilla, and a fan on Tamale House's last day [Photos: Jeff Amador, Robert J. Lerma, Tamale House/Facebook]

Tamale House Mourned

Few families have done more to shape Austin's taco culture than the extended Vasquez-Valera clan. Austinites across the city mourned Robert "Bobby" Vasquez's death earlier this year, and the news that his iconic Tamale House #3 would shutter in the wake of his death was one of the year's biggest stories. The famously no frills taqueria had been a communal gathering place for Austinites for 36 years. The space is now slated to become a bakery and coffee shop, and the Tamale House legacy lives on at Tamale House East.

Home Grown Taco Chains Expand

Torchy's Tacos has grown at a rapid pace across the state. They entered new markets like Waco, San Antonio, College Station, and opened their long-anticipated Mueller location in Austin, a massive taco and margarita palace. In 2015, they will open a South Congress flagship in the former Fran's Hamburgers space.

Another local mini-chain also began testing the expansion waters. Tacodeli has grown slowly across Austin since 1999; in 2014 they opened an unprecedented two new locations. Co-owners Roberto Espinosa and Eric Wilkerson recently told Eater they plan to expand to Houston and Dallas.

Mexico City-Style Tacos

While the big news about new East 6th Licha's Cantina is their large variety of masa-based dishes (tlacoyos, huaraches, and more), their menu also features a large number of tacos. Served on handmade corn tortillas, options currently include a serious al pastor, lengua, and duck tacos. Owner Daniel Brooks is a Mexico City native, and the menu is built around classics from the metropolis.

Qui Notes

Paul Qui and Moto Utsunomiya opened the latest East Side King outpost on South Lamar in the last days of 2013. The location's focus? Tacos, of course. Originally served on moo shu wrappers, they're now on white corn tortillas, with options like butter-poached octopus. Over at flagship restaurant Qui, the pulutan patio menu also features several Filipino-inspired tacos.

Top: Torchy's Mueller, Taco Text, Veracruz's Original Trailer. [Photos: Official]

The Taco Emoji Lives

It's only fitting that an Austin-based company would develop the sorely-needed taco emoji. Taco Text, created by XOXCO, empowers Texans (and beyond) to send each other breakfast tacos, crispy tacos, and in the new expansion, bowls of queso.

Veracruz All Natural Blows Up

Momentum had been building for years behind the taco trailer co-owned by sisters Reyna and Maritza Vasquez, and this year their tacos became an undeniable Austin obsession. Waits at the original trailer have gotten so long they moved a second trailer closer on East 7th and extended hours. Their third location at newly opened Radio Coffee & Beer is a certified hit, too. The sisters announced plans to open a restaurant on E. Cesar Chavez, but after a year of battling the city over re-permitting an old house, they're now on the hunt for a new location.

Fresa's Serves The President

When Rene Ortiz and Laura Sawicki joined the Fresa's concept, they made two major improvements: ice cream and tacos. Ortiz's tacos at La Condesa raised the bar on higher end Mexican in Austin, and Fresa's tacos are equally accomplished.

The original menu included an El Rey taco, named in honor of new Fresa's partner, filmmaker Robert Rodriguez. When Rodriguez hosted President Obama for a private fundraiser, Ortiz and Sawicki were on hand to serve, yes, tacos. The chicken fajita El Presidente is now on the official menu, with the description, "He had two!"

National Media's Austin Taco Obsession

Throw a dart at a random South By Southwest guide, and you'll hit a recommendation to check out Torchy's Tacos. Nothing against their fried avocados, but thanks in part to the hard work of Taco Journalists Mando Rayo and Jarod Neece, media outside Austin is starting to tell a more complete story. Rayo helped guide Bon Appetit's Andrew Knowlton on an epic Austin taco crawl. The magazine's top ten Austin tacos include the barbacoa de chivo from La Fruita Feliz, al pastor at La Flor, and the most Texan of all brisket tacos from Valentina's. In 2015, Texas Monthly will rank tacos across the state, and their Austin list also runs a wide gamut of the city's robust taco culture.

More beer!

The area's oldest craft beer brewery Live Oak Brewing Company took the first steps towards their new facility today with a groundbreaking ceremony. The new space is on a riverfront complex north of the Austin Bergstrom International Airport. According to Austin American-Statesman‎ writer Arianna Auber, the brewery will be on two acres, with a 22,000 square foot building, complete with a "disc golf course, nature trails and eventually a boathouse on the Colorado River."

Here are a few tweets from attendees at the event:

#groundbreaking at the future @LiveOakBrewing brewery location. pic.twitter.com/angI0Xgg5V

— Austin Beer Guide (@AustinBeerGuide) December 3, 2014

Dr. Chip McElroy of @LiveOakBrewing holding court at the new LO brewery ground breaking #hefeincans2015 pic.twitter.com/PeSRIFy9zk

— Austin Beer Guide (@AustinBeerGuide) December 3, 2014

Tastes like breaking ground. @liveoakbrewing PILZ. http://t.co/EoLozWAciu

— BeerTownAustin (@BeerTownAustin) December 3, 2014

This December, @LiveOakBrewing will break ground on a new facility http://t.co/Nq1UhSl8Qh pic.twitter.com/wsdZ8R6kxW

— Brewbound (@Brewbound) December 3, 2014

Android/iOS: Google's new Inbox app lets you bundle messages for easy organization . It's great, but there's more you can do with those bundles. After creating one, you can control how often a bundle appears, like once a day or once a week, or even have it skip the inbox altogether.

Read more...

iOS/Android: Using the description of a bottle of beer or wine to see if you'll like it can be hit or miss. Next Glass is a new app that uses a huge database of drinks, your tastes, and your smartphone's camera to tell you—just by scanning the label—if you'll love or hate a drink before you buy it.

Read more...

Some sites aren't exactly easy to read, especially on mobile devices. Chrome for Android now has a hidden "reader" mode that will strip the page of annoying formatting so you can get to the good stuff.

Read more...

Android/iOS: Grabbing video clips from the internet is pretty easy . Getting it from live TV is harder. Clippit helps solve this by allowing you to create up to 30 second clips from live television.

Read more...

Thanksgiving means gearing up for a turkey feast, Thanksgiving Day parades, local Turkey Trots and annual football showdowns. It also means braving some of the worst holiday traffic conditions of the year.

You’ve got enough on your plate this Thanksgiving without having to worry about traffic, too. So, Google Maps looked at Thanksgiving traffic conditions over the last two years for 21 cities across the U.S.¹ to find the most useful information to make your holiday trip a little easier.

Whether you’re traveling near or far, Google Maps’ traffic tips will help you navigate the roads like a pro, so you’ll be feasting on Turkey Day delights with friends and family in no time. Here are seven tips in pictures to guide you through the holiday:

1. Avoid traveling on Wednesday:

2. But if you must leave on Wednesday:

3. Good news for local travelers—Thanksgiving Day traffic is a breeze:

4. Travel back home on Sunday, not Saturday:

5. Expect to spend more time in traffic than average if you live in these three cities: Philadelphia, Austin and Washington, D.C. saw the three biggest increases in traffic during Thanksgiving week.

6. Get these three items ahead of time: Last-minute runs to the corner store can be unavoidable as you prep for the big day, but not all last minute trips are created equal.

7. Leave extra time for Christmas shopping:
Your biggest worry this Thanksgiving should be whether to go for the cranberry sauce or gravy. And with these traffic tips in hand, plus real-time traffic info provided by Google Maps on Android or iOS, you’ll be spending less time in traffic and more time with the people you care about this Thanksgiving. Now that’s something to be thankful for!

Posted by Aaron Nelson, Google Maps Product Manager

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1 Google Maps looked at 21 cities across the U.S. from the Monday before Thanksgiving through the Sunday after Thanksgiving for both 2012 & 2013: Austin, Boston, Charlotte, Chicago, Dallas, Denver, Detroit, Honolulu, Houston, Los Angeles, Miami, New York, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Portland, Providence, San Francisco, Seattle, St. Louis, Tampa, Washington, D.C.

View

The popular bakery, beer, and sausage destination will join the Linc.

The transformation of the Highland Mall area to an ACC campus and restaurant destination gets a big boost today. Easy Tiger, the city's premiere bakery and beer garden combo, will open a second location in the rebranded Linc development. The space will be three times the size of their current outpost on Dirty Sixth, which will allow them to greatly expand their wholesale bakery program. The new location will also include drive-thru coffee, a dog park, and 250 outdoor seats. Expected opening: late 2015.

Easy Tiger is part of the ELM restaurant group headed by Chef Andrew Curren; sister restaurants include 24 Diner, Arro, and forthcoming Italian project Italic. Easy Tiger's head baker David Norman has built a bakery program that supplies many of Austin's best restaurants and cafes, so the bakery expansion means even more great gluten. The Linc is the schmancy rebrand of the former Lincoln Village shopping center, anchored by the Marchesa Theater, with a number of new restaurant spaces. Here's the full press release.

A New Tiger Den in the Works

Easy Tiger Bake Shop & Beer Garden to Expand to Second Location

AUSTIN - Nov. 12, 2014 - The folks from ELM Restaurant Group, the successful team behind 24 Diner, Arro and forthcoming Italian concept Italic, are expanding into new territory with thesecond location of Easy Tiger Bake Shop & Beer Garden in North Austin. The popular downtown destination will anchor The Linc (www.thelincaustin.com), the newly rebranded development adjacent to the Austin Community College campus at Highland Mall.

Since opening in early 2012, Easy Tiger has been named one of the best beer gardens in the nation byFood & Wine and in the world by USA Today, as well as one of America's best new bakeries by Details. The shop has been featured in Garden & Gun, Bon Appétit, Southern Living, Travel + Leisure, GQ, Condé Nast UK and more.

The new 11,500-sq.-foot space, nearly three times the size of the existing location, will include a full commercial bakery that will allow Easy Tiger to immediately meet the great demand for its artisan baked goods and pastries, as well as expand its offerings.

"The wholesale bakery sales at Easy Tiger have greatly exceeded our expectations, and we are producing twice what we estimated would be our overall capacity at the Sixth Street location," sayshead baker David Norman. "We currently deliver fresh-baked bread to more than 50 commercial customers, but we haven't been able to accommodate any additional account requests in almost eight months - and that includes three out of the five local Whole Foods locations."

The new space will have a similar look and feel to the existing shop, with interior design overseen once again by Veronica Koltuniak of VeroKolt. The site will also include a drive-through coffee bar, 250 outdoor seats, ping-pong tables, a dog park and an outdoor stage that will occasionally host live music - as well as tons of free parking.

"We are excited to include Easy Tiger among our latest tenants," says Allan Davidov, owner of The Linc. "Easy Tiger is exactly the kind of creative, local, best-in-class operator we are targeting for the re-envisioning of The Linc. ELM Restaurant Group's decision to expand a significant portion of their operations into this project is a testament to the transformation happening in the entire ACC Highland Campus area - which is about to include Rack Space as a major employer. I'm also pleased because it is my favorite restaurant in Austin!"

Anticipated opening date is late 2015.

Eater Video: How to Make Tortillas, Salsa and Guacamole with Alex Stupak | Subscribe to Eater on YouTube

Ok, ok.

Come on now.

Maybe you’ll find it difficult to believe, but there ARE people on our planet who haven’t seen “Too Many Cooks.” That’s right: Some of us have been too busy* to stop everything we were doing and watch a bunch of frivolous nonsense but now some of us HAVE TO WRITE A SERIES OF JOKES ABOUT A COUPLE OF T-SHIRTS BASED ON A VIRAL VIDEO.

You know what? No. It’s a MATTER OF PRINCIPLE now.

This is madness. People are writing serious analyses about the video. Essays. Terrifying fanfic. TIME AND DISPOSABLE INCOME are being used on this ridiculous thing.

Are you gonna buy one of these? LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR, JEREMY. The video games, the television shows, the movies … these make sense, they have some lasting relevance. This? This is gonna get packed away in a box in your mind's attic snuggled up next to The Rent is Too Damn High.

Look at all the awesome stuff ApeLad has created over the years. Genius. He took a stand against cauliflower when nobody else had the guts. That’s a sentiment that will always be popular, you know?

Maybe certain writers are gonna be branded as sticks-in-the-mud for this frantic but awesomely-crafted tirade. It’s probably true. But this mudstick has had enough. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THIS WORLD? I’m gonna take a ragenap.

*by “too busy” we mean “got distracted by beer and forgot until now”

Red and green light

3rd Place in Derby #380: Ugly Holiday Sweater, with 202 votes!

Coming soon from Woot studios!

Layover in the Springs: Sarah Stubbinsons, single actress and spoiled diva, has a layover at Colorado Springs Airport during her flight home for the holidays. Does she find love in the form of a boorish but handsome porter? Will we watch the unlikely couple’s courtship after they bump into each other outside of Chili's?? SPOILER: No. Sarah’s flight boards on time and without incident. They never see each other ever again. Sarah marries her co-star and divorces him six months later.

Bad Salmon (OR: A Fish-mas Carol): Greedy publishing tycoon Bradley Monocole eats some contaminated sushi on Christmas Eve. During the ensuing fever dream, he gives his entire fortune to an orphanage and learns the true reason for the season. He then awakens on Christmas morning, turns to his wife (20 years his junior) and says, “I had the worst dream last night. Say, let’s eat panda meat for dinner.”

Traffic Jam: It’s actually just two hours of CCTV footage, but we added a festive holly border around the screen.

The Voucher: Graham Vanderpan loses his job shortly before the holidays. Now he’s gotta be scrappy (and thrifty!) if he’s gonna give his girlfriend a truly special present! She unwraps his homemade "coupon" for a free massage and terminates the relationship immediately.

Cyber Monday: The pressure’s on when Debbly, frazzled mother of 2, embarks on the shopping trip of a lifetime. Debbly's got a pretty big gift list and not a lot of time to make those vital purchases! As our beleagured heroine attempts to browse a crowded department store, she makes a poignant discovery: Brick-and-mortar holiday shopping sucks butt. We follow Debbly on her empty-handed journey home from the mall, where she completes her Christmas list on time and under budget using Amazon Prime.

In my home, I am beset on all sides but fuzzy dumbasses. Tivo, the brown and grey one, is a miserable, whiny grump whose terrified of essentially all things. He also doesn’t like to be touched below the waste. He SPECIFICALLY doesn’t like to be touched at the base of the tail. Naturally, I find great amusement in poking that spot like a sort of “whine button” whenever he’s getting on my nerves. The first few pokes elicit a whimper, the second few get an angry whine and a “why aren’t you dead yet?” glare, and with the last couple of pokes you just get blood. Just an impossibly fast, brownish-greyish swipey blur and blood.

Tivo has injured me from time to time for no reason. Either because he is terrified of a shoe, or a box, or a shoe near a box or some other harmless juxtaposition of items he assumes I have arranged just so to cause him distress. Like I said: fuzzy dumbasses. These are the injuries I get angry about. But the tail poking injuries… I really can’t get upset with the cat for these. I am specifically provoking him and walking on the goddamn razors edge. GOD, I FEEL SO ALIVE! Wait, no. I mean foolish. So bloody and foolish.

 

When my Patreon reaches $2000/month I’m going to release a new podcast where upon I interview my 7 years old daughter as she reads through the Harry Potter series. It’s called Potter And Daughter! More details HERE.

Replay (the white and grey fuzzied dumbness depicted above) is less likely to cause a human, even a human provocateur, actual harm. He knows how to “play bite” where as Tivo only knows “do no stop until teeth touch bone.” Where as Tivo’s fight or flight response is set so far to “fight” that the knob is broken off, Replay’s is set to “find a happy place in your mind and go there. GO THERE AND NEVER LOOK BACK!” When he wanders around the house screaming at full volume, despite having a full bowl of food, a clean litter box, no desire to go outside and every possible comfort a fuzzy dumbass could ever desire, I find myself inclined to do the one thing he hates more than anything: turning him upside down and carrying him around like a baby. When I do this, he doesn’t actually attack me. His eyes sort of gloss over and he gets this look on his face that seems to say, “If I had a secret poison filled compartment in my tooth, I would be opening it right now.” But, he does stop screaming. So score one for the humans, I guess.

Google just announced that it's new Fit application is now available. The app aims to track your activity, steps, as well as plug in to your third-party apps. In our own tests with the service, however, sync seems to be delayed at best. Wear users who have been tracking their steps may also find that some of their history may not be present once they install Fit on their devices. Proceed with caution and read more here.

Read more...

Bluetooth earpieces have always stuck out. I mean they've literally stuck out of your ear. Perhaps they're not as much of a fashion faux pas as Google Glass, but there's definitely a stigma about them. To combat the cyborg look, some wearable manufacturers are building smartwatches, but Motorola also has a backup plan: a tiny, handsome earbud that can act like a personal assistant.

Read more...

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October 13th, 2014: Remember the other day when an ONGOING MONTHLY SERIES starring SQUIRREL GIRL, written by me and drawn by Erica Henderson with colours by Rico Renzi got announced? YES. Well now I can talk about it some more, and here are interviews with me and Erica talking about it some more! – Ryan

San Diego’s Green Flash Brewing today announced it will begin construction on its second location, a 58,000 sq. ft. brewing facility in Virginia Beach that will eventually be capable of producing 100,000 barrels of beer per year.

Officially scheduled to open in 2016, the $20 million brewery will be built on a 9-acre lot in the area’s Corporate Landing Business Park.

“We are breaking ground to enter the first phase of construction, focused on the layout and building orientation,” co-founder Mike Hinkley said in a statement. “We want to be sure we are mindful of our impact on the immediate surroundings, so we are planning to incorporate the pre-existing landscape and trees into our spacious beer garden and will develop routes for smart traffic flow, accessible walkways and ample parking for guests.”

At least 45 percent of the Green Flash’s overall production is expected to come from the new brewery, the statement said.  The company expects to make about 65,000 barrels in 2014.

The groundbreaking comes on the heels of an announcement from fellow San Diego-area craft brewer, Stone Brewing, which said it plans to build its own $74 million brewing facility in Richmond, Va. Stone’s facility is also expected to open as early as late 2015.

A full press release is below.

San Diego, CA — Today, Mike and Lisa Hinkley co-founders of Green Flash Brewing Co. along with Brewmaster Chuck Silva gathered with Virginia State Senator Jeffrey McWaters, Secretary of Commerce and Trade, Maurice Jones and Virginia Beach Mayor William D. Sessoms to officially break ground on the site of the San Diego-headquartered brewery’s new location in Virginia Beach, VA. The October 13th groundbreaking ceremony marks the official start of construction to build the 58,000-square-foot Green Flash brewery, tasting room and beer garden in Hampton Roads.

“I’m pleased to welcome Green Flash to Virginia Beach,” said Virginia Senator Jeff McWaters. “As a legislator, it is very rewarding when legislation you’ve worked on makes a visible and significant impact on industry and spurs job creation. With the passage of Senate Bill 604, Green Flash chose to take another look at Virginia and ultimately decided to make Virginia Beach their east coast home. I am grateful for the investment Green Flash is making in our community, and I look forward to the grand opening in 2016.”

Last year, Green Flash staked claim on the nine-acre lot located at the corner of General Booth Blvd and Corporate Landing in the Corporate Landing Business Park. After going public with the news that Virginia Beach was the choice for the brewery’s East Coast location, Green Flash teamed up with Hampton Roads-based developers, The Miller Group to proceed with land acquisition, design, permitting, and more.

“After announcing plans to build our facility in Virginia Beach, we have been moving forward step-by-step towards breaking ground,” states Mike Hinkley Co-founder and CEO of Green Flash Brewing Co. “We are breaking ground to enter the first phase of construction, focused on the layout and building orientation on the nine-acre lot.  We want to be sure we are mindful of our impact on the immediate surroundings, so we are planning to incorporate the pre-existing landscape and trees into our spacious beer garden and will develop routes for smart traffic flow, accessible walkways and ample parking for guests. We extend many thanks to everyone in the community for making us feel welcome and at home from day one, and look forward to celebrating our opening upon completion of construction in 2016.”

The steadily growing demand for Green Flash beers on the East Coast prompted the need for a second brewery, and Virginia Beach was chosen due to its ease of access from all mid-Atlantic corridors as well as for its coastal landscape and cultural similarities to San Diego, CA. Were Green Flash to open the Virginia Beach facility today, the East Coast brewery would produce and ship about 45% of its beer from Hampton Roads to the eastern half of the U.S.  hat number is expected to grow by 2016, and the Virginia brewery will allow Green Flash to cold-ship fresh beer via second-day freight. This means beer at its best, lower pricing at retail and a smaller carbon footprint.

“Most importantly,” says Green Flash Co-founder and Vice President of Marketing, Lisa Hinkley, “we will have the chance to further connect with our customers on the East Coast in the Virginia Beach tasting room and beer garden. Our most powerful brand building comes when we are face to face with our customers and they can see, hear, feel and taste our beer at the source. It is then that they are able to experience our passion for brewing innovation and explore our craft first-hand.”   

In addition to focusing on logistical planning for the 2016 opening, Green Flash has been busy making friends with neighbors in the area. On Sunday, October 12, Green Flash hosted their first Treasure Chest Fest fundraiser for the Tidewater chapter of Susan G Komen. Held on the site of the future brewery, the beer and food festival featured some rare Green Flash beer along with select brews from over a dozen area breweries, food from local craft eateries and live entertainment.

Green Flash brewing executives have also been getting to know local businesses, particularly their craft brewing comrades. Green Flash Brewmaster Chuck Silva has spent much of the past year traveling to the area, working on successful beer collaborations with Virginia-based craft breweries including Smartmouth and Devils Backbone.

“We already feel like part of this community of brewers because everyone has been open to the idea of friendly collaboration, says Brewmaster Chuck Silva. “I feel fortunate to have had the opportunity to meet and work with many talented brewers in Virginia, and we have produced some solid collaborative beers. We plan to team up with the great brewers of Virginia for years to come and look forward to hosting our neighbors to brew at our facility in 2016.”

From a production standpoint, the new brewery will replicate the state-of-the-art production capabilities of the Green Flash headquarters in San Diego. The brewery’s interior footprint will follow the same plan with most equipment installed prior to opening. The fermentation tanks will be delivered in three phases:  50% of capacity up front, with 25% added as needed until reaching the operation’s full capacity to meet demand. Upon opening, the Virginia Beach facility will employ 40-plus Virginians and represent $20 million of invested capital.

“We couldn’t be happier that Green Flash has chosen Virginia Beach as its East Coast location,” said Mayor William D. Sessoms of Virginia Beach. “When they reach capacity, Green Flash will be producing 100,000 barrels of beer every year from Virginia Beach, and that is certainly something to celebrate.”

Green Flash is expected to produce 65,000 barrels out of their San Diego brewery in 2014, and is expected to reach the California facility’s maximum 100,000 barrel capacity in 2016 – just in time for their official grand opening in Virginia Beach.

About Green Flash Brewing Co.

Green Flash Brewing Co., is headquartered in San Diego, California, and was founded in 2002 by Mike and Lisa Hinkley. Brewmaster, Chuck Silva, leads brewing operations. Green Flash is an award-winning brewer of fine, hand-crafted ales, and specializes in brewing assertive and distinctive beers, such as the nationally acclaimed West Coast I.P.A.: an award-winning beer whose wide acceptance has helped define a category.  Green Flash brews ten styles of beer regularly, on draft and in bottles as well as a growing lineup of seasonal and special offerings, including several barrel-aged beers, throughout the year. The brewery plans to open their 2nd full-scale brewing operation on the East Coast in Virginia Beach – scheduled to open in 2016. Please visit the Green Flash website www.greenflashbrew.com for more information.

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October 2nd, 2014: Here is a song by Tigernaut called Jacques Esqueleto! I Thought I Made You Up. It is an instrumental song named after this comic and I rate it super rad! – Ryan

The space previously slated to become Adam Bryan's Motel has been taken over by FBR Management, which runs Mean Eyed Cat, Gibson Street, Star Bar and many more.

The space slated to become booze whisperer Adam Bryan's cocktail lounge Motel will now have a very different identity. Austin-based bar and hospitality group FBR Management will open The Wheel, "a bicycle themed watering hole" at 1902 B East. MLK, at the intersection of Chicon. FBR operates large, high volume downtown bars like Mean Eyed Cat, Gibson, Star Bar, and Rattle Inn, so a tiny East Austin space outside an existing bar district is a departure. According to a press release, managing partner Max Moreland says, "The Wheel's intimate space will allow us to showcase some unique aspects to the bar that we haven't been able to conceptualize before." Apparently that means draft beer and sandwiches from Austin Daily Press.

Previously, former Congress bartender Adam Bryan intended to open a cocktail bar with a mid-century feel in the property. Bryan was able to nab a change of use for the property, paving the way for a bar to take over the space, only to suffered permit troubles, especially over parking. The location is also where The Wet Whistle unexpectedly shuttered earlier this week.

Texas craft brewing continues to build national momentum with an unprecedented 16 medals at the Great American Beer Festival, including a Gold Medal for Oasis Texas Brewing on Lake Travis. The lady beer mavens at Bitch Beer spoke with a number of the winners during the festivities and broke down the wins by the numbers.

The temple of duck pastrami finally makes plans to expand beyond breakfast and lunch hours.

Fans of the hyper-popular Noble Sandwich Co. often lament the shop isn't open for dinner, just breakfast and lunch. That looks to be changing: a hiring notice popped up on Poached looking for a large number of staff to work p.m. shifts for dinner service starting "this fall." The dinner menu will focus heavily on their in-house charcuterie, the quality of which has helped the tiny Cedar Park restaurant grow to three locations.

Noble previously polled their customers to see if dinner service would be a hit, and the online enthusiasm suggested a resounding yes. A rep for the restaurant says nothing is official yet, and a larger announcement is coming soon. Here's the all the details from Poached:

Noble is starting dinner service this fall and is looking for candidates that can work pm shifts.  . . . They will offer Noble Sandwiches signature sandwiches along with new menu items for dinner. There will be strong focus and charcuterie service, with new dinner sandwiches and shareable plates. They will be open seven days a week for breakfast, lunch, and early evening.