Genesis 2:17
"But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, can u not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die."
Genesis 17:15
"And God said unto Abraham, As for Sarai thy wife, can u not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall her name be."
Genesis 22:12
"Can u not lay a hand on the boy," he said. "Can u not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."
Exodus 20:4
"Mmm can u not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth."
1. I'm reasonably busty and I work out semi-regularly, so I could probably carry a bronze shield or something.
2. I think I would do a very good job of judging men even after they are dead, no training necessary.
3. I have naturally red hair, and bronze and leather (which I am given to understand are the primary components of the Valkyrie uniform) really bring out the ruddy red-gold tones in it, which is a pretty good look for me.
I’ve spent the last few years of my life watching entirely too much youth basketball. As such, I can attest that it’s abundantly clear when a kid “gets it” on the court. LeBron James Jr. gets it.
LeBron Sr. might not be allowing football in the house but Bronny slips right into his dad’s shoes as a distributor, dishing out dime after dime to his AAU teammates* at a tournament in Houston this past weekend. Watch the clip of his performance above.
Donning number 0 in honor of “Russelmania” Westbrook, Jr. even throws in an and-one after a hard foul and a mean step-back jumper for good measure. The nine-year-old fourth grader is even nice with the left hand, and his team finished in first place in the tournament.
No wonder ‘Bron Sr. was losing his sh*t watching his son play over the summer.
* — How great must it be to randomly end up as one of the teammates of LeBron James’ son. If you didn’t notice the entire team is rocking LeBron 12s.
Oh, turns out, the St. Paul Pioneer Press was talking about this guy’s beard, not a penis. No guys, definitely not a huge, giant red penis.
[Jim Romenesko via Lana]
To the best of my knowledge the Indiana Pacers and Minnesota Timberwolves employ professional basketball players on their team. You’d never know that after watching this clip from last night’s action.
I’m told there was a winner in this basketball game. Big if true.
In Katie’s most recent video, she addresses the sexist comments from the YouTube cesspool. You know, the ones that refer to her as a piece of meat, the ones that talk about their 9″ penis, the ones that talk about masturbating to her videos.
Do you need background here or do you just want to enjoy the travel dance?
For the three of you interested in the actual details, that’s Andre Igoudala mocking Mike Conley after a crucial travel call in the fourth quarter of last night’s game. A game the Grizzlies went on to win 105-98. Unfortunately, the refs weren’t as amused with Iggy’s travel dance and slapped him with a technical foul. They hate fun, obviously.
Would you like to see an adorable dog born with deformed front legs start immediately running when fitted with some well-designed prosthetic paws? Oh, we’ll show you an adorable dog born with deformed front legs start immediately running when fitted with some well-designed prosthetic paws. The video is exactly what it says on the tin, and the tin just says, “You’re gonna cry, you little b*tch.“
So this is Derby, who was awaiting adoption at Peace and Paws Dog Rescue when he was spotted by Tara Anderson, a project manager at 3D Systems who could hook Derby up with some fancy 3D-printed legs from the company’s ProJet 5500 MultiJet 3D printer. The printer can work with dual materials, making objects rigid in some places and flexible in others, perfect for making custom prosthetics for dogs or I guess other uses but whatever let’s just make new legs for all the dogs instead. We know what’s really important:
AAAAAAA LOOK HOW HAPPY HE IS! We want to give him all the hugs.
Derby should totally hang out with Naki’o the bionic dog, Oscar the bionic kitty, Mitzi the bionic dog, and Elvis the robokitty and start a bionic pets gang, but a harmless one like in West Side Story. If they had thumbs they’d be snapping.
Let’s face it, there’s no way Serial, the popular and groundbreaking true crime podcast, can give us a satisfying ending to its first season, which centers around the 1999 murder of Baltimore high school student Hae Min Lee. With only one episode remaining, a definitive conclusion is a total impossibility — tying a neat bow on the narrative with a “What have we learned?” recap is probably host Sarah Koenig’s best bet to avoid getting Lindelof’d.
But as Funny or Die points out in the dead-on sketch above (too many references to list!), there is something Koenig (frantically and expertly portrayed by Michaela Watkins) can pull out of her hat to give us a satisfying, conclusive ending. I’m not saying I’m rooting for this outcome, but closure is never a bad thing.
This morning, two customers got into an argument over onions with an employee at a Saskatoon Tim Hortons, and one of the men immediately ended the argument by throwing a snake. Snake coming in hot!
Andrew Hawkins made headlines when he took the field with a shirt protesting the recent shooting of two unarmed Ohioans. The Browns made us proud when they refused a demand from Cleveland cops to apologize . And now that he's explained it, we realize that Hawkins isn't just some athlete who threw on a t-shirt because it's the trendy thing to do. He knows what he's talking about, and he has very good reasons to care.
Employers who require their sick employees to bring in medical notes to prove their illnesses — especially this time of year — are only making things worse. Sentencing a mildly sick person to a stint in a waiting room during flu season only stirs the viral stew while wasting the time and resources of patients and medical professionals alike.
And one doctor has had enough of it. According to Redditor GimPy2434, the Canadian doc has penned the following form letter, which he or she distributes to companies who send their employees to his office solely to retrieve a note. It is perfect, and everyone should show it to their note-hoarding bosses.
Nearly every December since 1986, Darlene Love has appeared on Late/Night Show with David Letterman to sing “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home),” one of the few holiday standards that doesn’t turn me into an out-of-shape grinch (it’s pretty much that, and Tom Waits’ “Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis”). Love promised that when Letterman retires (May 2015), she won’t perform the Christmas classic on another show, so CBS put together a montage of her belting out “Baby” over the years. So many terrible outfits.
Creed frontman Scott Stapp was placed on a 72-hour psychiatric hold at the end of last month after confessing in a Facebook video that he was broke and living in Holiday Inn. His estranged wife, Jaclyn, apparently tried to get him committed again after he told her he was a CIA agent tasked with assassinating Obama.
HA! "This one's for when you invite your bros over for tea."
As a child, I always wanted an Easy-Bake Oven to call my own. It was mostly so that I could whip up some secret late-night snacks without mother dearest knowing, but that’s besides the point…
These days, as a semi-adult in the working world, I haven’t really thought much about the miniature kitchen toy, because, um, I own a real oven. That changes today, though, thanks to Shaq and his favorite Easy-Bake Oven recipes. The fun little gadget is back in my life, along with a very harsh reality: It’s rather silly watching legit grown-ups use the Easy-Bake Oven, but it is straight-up absurd seeing a person of Shaq’s size (GIANT) tinker with the oven’s tiny parts trying to make bread pudding and tea cakes.
For what it’s worth, the desserts look edible and the former NBA star is ridiculously entertaining as a dorky chef who sings and dances to “La Bamba” while simultaneously poking fun at his own dreadful free-throw skills. It almost makes me forgive him for not knowing what a pierogi is and for participating in that crazy cookie challenge last month.
by Timothy Burke on The Concourse, shared by Timothy Burke to Deadspin
Staff from both the U.S. House and Senate, along with elected officials and the Senate chaplain, walked out today to show support for those protesting the deaths of Michael Brown and Eric Garner.
Established in 1973 by a recently immigrated father-son pair from the Yangzhou region of China with a single restaurant (then named Panda Inn) in Pasadena, CA, Panda Express is a quick service restaurant specializing in Chinese food. It now operates over 1,700 locations across the U.S. and Puerto Rico and is a staple of airport and shopping mall food courts. As Grits and Grids reports, Panda Express is a highly successful operation and has been on a steady incline over the years yet it still figures the need to keep improving and evolving. To coincide with the launch of a fast-casual concept restaurant in its home town, the Panda Express Innovation Kitchen, the company introduced an updated logo and materials that have spread to other locations.
No design credit is given, no press release issued, and no single source of images exists.
Update: The logo (not the materials) was designed by Minneapolis, MN-based Studio MPLS. A few extra images at their site.
Update #2: The newer exteriors of the restaurants were, like the one shown bottom-left in the collage below, were designed by Dayton, OH-based Interbrand Design Forum. They did NOT design the Innovation Kitchen.
A brief sampling of old/existing look and materials.
Although this is not a huge redesign, the restaurant has a significant presence and I thought it deserved some attention. Given how successful the fast food joint is, there is probably little urge to expend any energy on simply improving its logo and materials without it being a major redesign. Yet the changes seen in the logo and the images below show a commitment to better design.
Before and after logo comparison.
The logo remains the same in structure but everything about it has been improved. The default-ish typography has been replaced with something much nicer, although I have no idea what it is (and has probably been modified). Spaced more generously and with a lower height, the Panda Express name sits much more comfortably in the circle. I don't usually endorse gratuitous serifs but, here, the two that stick out of the "P" and "D" add a bit of flair. Not sure why the "P" in "Express" doesn't have it. "Gourmet Chinese Food" has been replaced simply with "Chinese Kitchen" and, again, helps decrease the crowded look of the old logo. The panda has also been smoothed out with more rounded shapes that make it look more adorable.
Box. (Source for this image and three below)Fortune cookie box.Cup.
From this brief sampling of materials, you can see a Starbucks-ization with only the logo on blank canvases, used in full- or single-color. Compared to the previous cups and boxes over-adorned with bamboo sticks and leaves this is down-right luxurious design.
New catering livery.And again. (Source)And again. (Source)
Even the livery looks so good.
Promos from their Twitter account.
Not sure what's going on with the promos but they are fairly consistent across their social media accounts. Nothing exciting but at least there is a certain consistency and graphic approach with a specific intention.
Exterior of the Panda Express Innovation Kitchen. (Source)Interiors of the Panda Express Innovation Kitchen. (Source)
I have never been into a stand-alone Panda Express restaurant and have only seen the fast food locations, which are your standard airport-looking fare where they all look the same. Judging from Google Images, the stand-alone restaurants are not bad at all, with decent exteriors and interiors, but the Innovation Kitchen clearly ups its game with a much more sophisticated approach meant to compete with the Chipotles and Paneras of the U.S.. Although it might be years — and not all elements of the Innovation Kitchen will make it to the fast food venues — before this new look is visible and adopted across the hundreds of locations, the images in this post show plenty of potential and demonstrate that just because it's a quick service restaurant the design doesn't have to be disposable.
Facebook is home to the rich pageant of human experience, which is a good thing when, say, people come together to congratulate their friends and family on an achievement or personal milestone, and a bad thing when it comes to literally any other topic. Facebook, in its eternal crusade to try to keep our horribleness off their pristine Internet, is now building an AI to keep at least some of your personal train wrecks off social media.
“a kind of digital assistant that will, say, recognize when you’re uploading an embarrassingly candid photo of your late-night antics. This assistant would tap you on the shoulder and say: “Uh, this is being posted publicly. Are you sure you want your boss and your mother to see this?”
It’s one of the ideas out of Facebook’s R&D arm, using a technology called “Deep Learning,” which is also a movie that starred John Holmes in 1973. Essentially, the algorithm would learn the difference between impaired users and sober users. So when a photo of tanked you shows up, the site can put the brakes on posting while you sober up and realize that, huh, you really do have genitalia drawn on your face.
They even imagine it going further. If, for example, you’re about to say something awful to a friend on a comments section, the site’s AI could step in and ask you if you really want to make fun of their speech impediment/failed business/dead relatives.
This does have a few benefits beyond just avoiding social self-immolation. For example, if Facebook can recognize you, it can also recognize when somebody is posting a photo of you that you may not be aware of, so you can keep embarrassing photos in general off the site. On the other hand, giving an AI a complete psychological profile of you would also be an incredibly handy marketing tool, so we have a few reservations. But at least it won’t be used by the machines to control our behavior and make us subservient to them without our ever noticing.
I. Ruby lost her virginity in July of this year, not long after she turned 28. Five days later, she knew, with deep certainty and not a little dread, that she was pregnant. Her nipples grew and darkened, she says; her abdomen tingled. The man she'd slept with refused to see her, and when he finally agreed to meet up, he insisted on buying the morning-after pill. She refused to take it, and they didn't talk much after that.
Shared 50% for amazing headline and lead, 50% for DAWWWWLOOKATTHESHEEP
Hey, drunk people: Did you decorate a sheep for Christmas this weekend? Did you then lose that sheep? If so, please report your drunken self to the Nebraska Humane Society and pick up your Christmas sheep.
I’m not going to ruin this photo with any words. It would be a disservice to you, to me, to Dikembe and Kate and to anyone who enjoys candid photography. I expect to see this in the Louvre by year’s end.
It's a difficult world out there, people. War, poverty, brutality, corruption, social and racial injustice … these are not civil times we live in. Which is why, more than ever, we NEED the comfort and warmth that only life inside the Williams-Sonoma catalog can provide. Follow me, America. Follow me inside these glossy pages, where there is no anger. No violence. No internet commenters explaining why YOUR SO STOOPID.
