why do genies care about this rule? let’s say i’m only allowed three wishes. i only need one to wish for the destruction of all things, the end of the universe. what the hell worse could i do with four wishes instead of three?
look at what humanity is already capable of doing with zero wishes
have a great weekend
Crooooowwhat a weird but great idea
Strap on some skates, grab a boozy slushy and a fried chicken wing and skate the night away this winter at Parson's Chicken & Fish. [ more › ]
Crooooowbest press conference ever
This is so good. At his weekly meeting with the press, Seahawks corner Richard Sherman, a cardboard cutout of Doug Baldwin, and the disembodied voice of actual Doug Baldwin teamed up for a skit that took shots at the money-hungry NFL and stood up for teammate Marshawn Lynch, who was fined $100,000 for failing to talk to the press last week.
Crooooow"you so crean" http://youtu.be/m2zU6dUPVSQ?t=2m7s
CrooooowOlympic mascots are stupid
Today Rio de Janeiro organizers officially debuted the mascots for the 2016 Olympic and Paralympic Games. The Olympic athletes get a cat! The disabled athletes get a plant.
Crooooowwhoa this looks crazy
Whoa, how did I miss this? Steve Carell, check. Channing Tatum, check. Mark Ruffalo, check. Based on a true story, check. Positive reviews, check.
Currently on the to-do list: watch every single movie produced by Annapurna Pictures, a production and distribution company founded by Megan Ellison, who is Oracle founder Larry Ellison's daughter. Look at this list of directors they're working with: Kathryn Bigelow, Paul Thomas Anderson, Spike Jonze, David O. Russell, Richard Linklater.
Tags: Channing Tatum Foxcatcher Mark Ruffalo movies sports Steve Carell trailers wrestlingCrooooowso so very good
CrooooowThere was a time on the internet where THATS A FACIAL would become the hot new catchphrase.
I am not going to overdo the hyperbole and say that this dunk is a MUST SEE or watching it will BLOW YOUR MIND or Oakland University's Kahlil Felder got DESTROYED. No, this is just a pretty cool dunk with a very emphatic call, and you'll probably enjoy spending 30 seconds watching it.
CrooooowKind of want to see more basketball from this camera angle
CrooooowHaircut small talk is the worst
Crooooowgreat, now I have to go to Baskin Robbins
Chalk this one up there with the cronuts, waffle tacos, KFC Double Downs and all of the other Franken-foods that are all the rage these days.
Baskin Robbins has announced that its flavor of the month will be "First Class Camouflage" in honor of Veterans Day to pay tribute to the troops.
It might look a little strange, but it sounds pretty amazing - a combination of chocolate, salty caramel, and cake-flavored ice cream.
The company also says it will donate 10 cents from each ice cream scoop sold in its U.S. locations to the United Service Organizations (USO).
Submitted by: (via Baskin Robbins)
Every once in a while, some lucky American who is not the president gets to be The Most Important Human Being On Earth. For a while, it was Olympia Snowe! Sometimes, it was that schmuck from Nebraska, Ben something, fuck that guy. After tonight though, there is a 10 percent chance it will be our own true forever love, Old Handsome Joe Biden.
According to the goodly folk at Ghost Andrew Breitbart’s Internet Study Hall, mathgeek Nate Silver predicts a 10 percent chance of a tied Senate here. (It’s there in a graph somewhere.) This 10 percent chance of ol’ Joey becoming HISTORY’S GREATEST MONSTER TYRANT OF THE SENATE is less than the 26 percent chance Dems have of actually keeping their Senate (for what good that’s done them), but whatevs, it gives us a chance to love up on some Joe! Let’s get to it.
Here is Joe in a yarmulke. The yarmulke means he can tell Bibi Netanyahu to shut his clucker.
Here is Young Handsome Joe Biden. Stop touching yourselves, perverts!
Here is Joe with his Hot Bitch. Stop touching yourselves, lady perverts!
And here, of course, is your favorite Joe: the Joe who can whisper sweet fuckings in a biker chick’s ear right in front of her old man, impotent with rage. Sorry biker dudes. Your woman is Biden’s woman now. As are all women, young, old, big, small, biker, civilian, vegetable, mineral.
At the very least a 50-50 Senate would keep us tuned to the Span.
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October 2nd, 2014: Here is a song by Tigernaut called Jacques Esqueleto! I Thought I Made You Up. It is an instrumental song named after this comic and I rate it super rad! – Ryan | |||
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September 10th, 2014: Did you know that I have ITEMS for you? I will sell you one or more items. If you are interested in items, good news!! – Ryan | |||
Dj Rashad - She A Go
This is a hip-hop video made entirely from office stock footage. It is even doper than it sounds.
CrooooowDAMMIT DOUG
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September 3rd, 2014: Did you know that I have ITEMS for you? I will sell you one or more items. If you are interested in items, good news!! – Ryan | |||
Dan O'Sullivan, who wrote as "General Gandhi" at Mr. Destructo and writes under his real name at Jacobin (among other places), spent yesterday doing the lord's work: pairing off a dozen or so NFL owners with their Dick Tracy villain counterparts. Most Twitter is bad Twitter. This was very good Twitter:
Since his first onscreen appearance, Batman has inspired some terrific musical scores–so much so that even the ultra-’90s Batman Beyond theme is surprisingly rad. In this video, “Batman Evolution,” ThePianoGuys play through three distinct eras of The Bat, from Neal Hefti’s 1966 theme to Danny Elfman’s 1989 take and Hans Zimmer’s 2008 version, before culminating in an arrangement of all three. The video also brings together three sets (and Batmobiles) from each era and includes nice little touches like the aspect ratio changing to reflect the formats of each version of Batman.
Heard side-by-side, it’s notable that despite Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight Trilogy being the most critically lauded of the three Batman properties featured, Hans Zimmer’s piece of the action is the least memorable of the bunch. Maybe that’s simply because Zimmer’s score hasn’t had the time to sink ...
CrooooowI would really really love to see this same thing of Chicago
The neighborhood just south of Central Park that stays red unusually late is Midtown, home to Times Square, 30 Rock, and Grand Central Station, and intersected almost right down the middle by Broadway. With so many landmarks, it's a wonder that it doesn't stay red even later. The same goes for the southern tip of the island, home to Wall St., and the financial district. As they say, "money never sleeps."
Submitted by: (via Dark Horse Analytics)
CrooooowDream job
This year alone, 29,500 individually designed beer labels have been submitted for approval to the Trade Department's Tax and Trade Bureau. And every single one of those label designs was approved or denied by a single man: Kent "Battle" Martin, a man who is the bane of the beer industry for his power to reject labels for the flimsiest of reasons.
Battle has rejected a beer label for the King of Hearts, which had a playing card image on it, because the heart implied that the beer would have a health benefit.
He rejected a beer label featuring a painting called The Conversion of Paula By Saint Jerome because its name, St. Paula's Liquid Wisdom, contained a medical claim--that the beer would grant wisdom.
He rejected a beer called Pickled Santa because Santa's eyes were too "googly" on the label, and labels cannot advertise the physical effects of alcohol. (A less googly-eyed Santa was later approved.)
He rejected a beer called Bad Elf because it featured an "Elf Warning," suggesting that elves not operate toy-making machinery while drinking the ale. The label was not approved on the grounds that the warning was confusing to consumers.
Submitted by: (via Fast co design)
CrooooowFuck Mitch McConnell
Got 15 minutes handy? OH YES YOU DO. Because here is United States Senate candidate for Kentucky Alison Lundergan Grimes, at some sort of Real Murican smalltown Heartland hoedown Lottery, yelling at Mitch McConnell that he is a useless old fucktard, TO HIS FACE. And it’s on split screen, so you can see his face as her stiletto heel grinds down. Oh man. It is no Trump’s face while Bamz laughed in it, in person. Rather than snitty anger, he looks totally befuddled. And it is marvelous.
But back to Alison Lundergan Grimes. So pretty! And those cadences. Do you hear an echo of the sainted Ann Richards too?
Then McConnell comes on and makes jokes about the president golfing. Probably teleprompterz too, who can listen that long.
Send some money, fuckers. You know you want a hot bitch in the Senate.
