Earlier this week, Paul Ryan's super-PAC, the Congressional Leadership Fund, used information from former CIA agent Abigail Spanberger's private security clearance form to paint her as some kind of raving terrorist enabler. You see, Spanberger is a Democrat running for Congress, and smearing the opposition is what America is all about. Turns out the Congressional Leadership Fund is really good at smearing people! It almost makes us wonder whether Paul Ryan, that great intellectual force in the Republican Party, is maybe not the paragon of concern for the poor and justice for all that he makes himself out to be. (This is one of those subtle rhetorical moves where the proper response is, "No shit, Sherlock.")
Oh, but it's not just the sleazy attacks on Abigail Spanberger in Virginia. Ryan's super-PAC is smearing Democrats all over the country with a well-funded attack machine that churns out ad after ad accusing Dems of all sorts of perfidy. That almost always includes being a mindless vassal of the dreaded Nancy Pelosi, who looms over most of the ads like a gorgon. The group dropped $10 million on a fresh round of ads starting in mid-August.
Go skim through CLF's YouTube collection and you'll see the same tropes over and over. All grim narration, scary black-and-white images with digitally faked "distressed film" effects," and apocalyptic intimations of doom if the evil Dems have their way. And along the way, a few cheerful assertions that Democrats running for Congress are literally supporting terrorism, giving all your hard-earned tax money to the undeserving poor, and of course letting illegal immigrants run wild across an open border, bringing drugs and crime and taco trucks.
The worst of the lot is this smear job on Ohio's Aftab Pureval, who was born and raised in Ohio but has that scary foreign name. He's of Indian and Tibetan heritage, but how about suggesting he's some kind of terrorist sympathizer, nudge-nudge? After all, he worked at a lobbying firm that once represented Libya. Obviously, Pureval is therefore connected with the 1988 bombing of Pan Am Flight 103 over Lockerbie, and CAN'T BE TRUSTED! Quite a feat, seeing as how he was 6 years old at the time.
That was a hell of a reach, getting from Pureval's saying special interests and lobbyists shouldn't make all the rules to implicating him in terrorism. And even worse, standing next to Hillary Clinton.
Scary Democrat Ladies are a real theme for this outfit. Another ad, this one aimed against Amy McGrath, who's hoping to unseat Republican Andy Barr in Kentucky's 6th District, is all about how those awful harridans Pelosi, Hillary Clinton, and Elizabeth Warren are liberal elitists who think they're better than decent hardworking Kentuckians. It's pure resentment politics:
Fear their Vagendae of Manocide! We do like the idea that Amy McGrath is in cahoots with liberal elites who call Kentucky "flyover country" and "look down on us," what with her being a Navy fighter pilot. SEE? LITERALLY TRUE.
Then there's this fun slam at Tom Malinowski, the incumbent Dem in New Jersey's 7th District. Malinowski is another one who clearly hates America and wants you dead, because, you see, not only did he "vote for higher taxes" (by opposing the Big Fat Tax Cuts for Rich Fuckwads), he was even a "lobbyist for terrorist rights"!!!
We did not even know terrorists had a lobby, besides Michael Flynn and Paul Manafort! Malinowski himself was apparently unaware of (or covering up!!) his own terror lobbying, since he thought the ad was condemning his vote on the House version of John McCain's bill banning torture -- which Paul Ryan voted for, too. But thankfully, the Washington Free Beacon has the real scoop: The ad was actually condemning Malinowski's work for notorious terrorist group Human Rights Watch, which was fighting for the rights of Guantanamo detainees to have access to US courts and at least a semblance of due process. See? Terrorist Rights! Worse, he
also "advocated against restrictions on court access for immigrants, criminal defendants, prisoners, and enemy combatant detainees," disclosures from 2006 to 2008 show.
Horrifying. Since when do bad people like "immigrants," and "criminal defendants," and even "prisoners" have rights, huh? Rights are for Republican presidents and their money-laundering aides. The CLF even issued an angry statement saying Malinowski "owes New Jersey families an explanation" for having "lobbied in support of terrorists at Guantanamo Bay." For, you know, Human Rights Watch.
Paul Ryan also loves poor people and understands their struggles, which is why he wants them to lose healthcare and other pernicious government assistance that makes them weak. Another CLF ad against McGrath explains why she should never be allowed in Congress: She'll steal YOUR money and give it to the undeserving takers, while the giant head of Nancy Pelosi whispers, "Yes...yesssss...and make them have babies out of wedlock, too!"
We'll close with this delightful attack ad against Sharice Davids, the awesome lesbian Native American lady who has a pretty good shot at defeating Republican Congressman Kevin Yoder in Kansas. CLF spent $1.7 million to plaster this thing all over the district she's running in, exclaiming Davids wants an open border and the complete elimination of any law enforcement against murderous rapey illegal aliens!
As the Washington Postexplains, though, that audio snippet of Davids saying "I do, I would, I would" actually came in the middle of a longer answer in which she explained she wants to see ICE and immigration laws reformed so we can "get away from thinking that everyone coming to the United States is a threat." Davids said CLF had taken a momentary stammer in an answer about how to achieve that (by defunding ICE if necessary) was taken out of context:
"Let me clear, I do not support abolishing ICE," Davids told The Washington Post in an emailed statement. "I do support comprehensive immigration reform to fix our broken system. What I also believe — and what I was addressing — is that the practice of ripping families apart at the border is inconsistent with our core values as Americans and an ineffective deterrent to illegal immigration."
In other words, she wants an open border so she and Nancy Pelosi can stand by and watch with contempt for YOU while all the criminals come flooding in, don't ya know.
In conclusion, Paul Ryan and his super PAC sure are principled in their pursuit of decent American values, like calling people friends of terrorists and crimers and also terrorist crimers, the end.
Our location is a few blocks west of the Kimball terminal of the Ravenswood (Brown Line) ‘L’ route. That fact made this one of the city’s most densely-settled inland neighborhoods. The streetcar line on Lawrence also produced the customary ribbon commercial strip. In the 1949 photo, the vertical sign for the Admiral Theatre is visible […]
by Gwen Ihnat on The Takeout, shared by Laura M. Browning to The A.V. Club
Lay’s, it seems, is always looking for a new flavor for its line of potato chips. Previously, the chip-maker as hosted a “Do Us A Flavor” contest, resulting in customer suggestions like the Crispy Taco and Chicken & Waffle potato chips. But the company’s latest effort appears to be even more ambitious: Lay’s “Tastes…
Using a 360° GoPro camera, Jeb Corliss films his ride on a roller coaster and, with some help from image stabilization in the editing phase, turns the footage into a trippy Wonka-esque thrill ride.
Give it a sec to get going and watch the whole thing…the really mind-bending stuff starts happening after about 20 seconds. (via digg)
by Clayton Purdom on News, shared by Clayton Purdom to The A.V. Club
We are getting close to the 10-year anniversary of Avatar, still the highest-grossing film ever made by a long shot. (It’s at almost $2.8 billion, and the next highest is Titanic at just under $2.2 billion.) James Cameron has been working on its sequels—which have varied in quantity from two to four—steadily ever…
by Sam Barsanti on News, shared by Sam Barsanti to The A.V. Club
Showtime is being very quiet and mysterious when it comes to Who Is America?, the new interview show thing from Sacha Baron Cohen, but it turns out that the network doesn’t really have to do anything when the participants are so embarrassed that they end up promoting it themselves. That’s what Sarah Palin seems to be…
We must do away with the absolutely specious notion that everybody has to earn a living. It is a fact today that one in ten thousand of us can make a technological breakthrough capable of supporting all the rest. The youth of today are absolutely right in recognizing this nonsense of earning a living. We keep inventing jobs because of this false idea that everybody has to be employed at some kind of drudgery because, according to Malthusian-Darwinian theory, he must justify his right to exist. So we have inspectors of inspectors and people making instruments for inspectors to inspect inspectors. The true business of people should be to go back to school and think about whatever it was they were thinking about before somebody came along and told them they had to earn a living.
That was written almost 50 years ago…the capability of technology to generate wealth has increased greatly since then.
by Gita Jackson on Kotaku, shared by Laura M. Browning to The A.V. Club
From the outside, Tumblr looks like a mess. As a platform that has become the main hub for people who like fanart, fanfiction and talking about ships, Tumblr has gained a reputation for creators being driven away because of rampant harassment and abuse. From the inside, its users agree, but they don’t know where else…
Nobody makes the little things in baseball more exciting than Cubs infielder Javy Baez, and he did it again today against the Tigers. A steal of home is, of course, alright pretty thrilling. But watch the subtle yet significant way Baez contorts his body for the swim-move slide to avoid a seemingly easy tag from…
It’s weird days recently for one of TV’s already-weirdest reality franchises, as Big Brother—the human zoo in which people are kept drunk, bored, and on-camera until they either get voted out of the house, or reveal their most racist and sexist inner selves—lumbers forward through its 20th season on CBS. Desperate to…
by William Hughes on News, shared by William Hughes to The A.V. Club
Shane Black’s The Monster Squad fell through the cracks upon release in 1987, overshadowed by The Lost Boys and its far sexier take on “teens fight monsters” action. But the film’s blend of Little Rascals “kids and their dog get into scrapes” comedy with the classic Universal monsters—and a surprising willingness to…
Last night, the state of Illinois finally voted to approve the Equal Rights Amendment. Given that I live here, I was very excited — though disappointed that I could not be festive, as my “ERA NOW!” T-shirt is back home with my parents and the rest of my baby clothes.
The House voted 72-45 to approve the measure, only one vote more than was needed to pass it. Which means that 45 freaking elected representatives thought this text — originally written in 1921 by Alice Paul and Crystal Eastman — was just a little too radical for their liking.
Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.
They just weren’t READY! Why can’t we give them more time? Like another 97 years?
Here is what one idiot had to say about that, per the Chicago Tribune:
State Rep. Peter Breen of Lombard, an abortion rights opponent, called the measure “an alleged constitutional amendment” and warned it would be adopting an “illegal act.” But Breen also contended supporters “have no other thing they want to do” than expand abortion rights.
“It will expand taxpayer funding of abortions, very well might roll back our parental notice (for minors to have an abortion) law and have other negative impacts on various abortion regulations,” Breen said.
Well, yes. We absolutely do want those things. The Hyde Amendment is fucked and so is the 1995 Illinois Parental Notice of Abortion Act — particularly the latter since it puts lives in danger, exposing teenagers to possible abuse, being kicked out of their homes, or being forced to go through with a pregnancy they don’t want. Why anyone would possibly think it is a good idea is absolutely astounding. Are they stupid? Do they not know there are bad parents out there?
But if Rep. Peter Breen does feel that these things will be under threat if the ERA is passed, then does that mean that he is admitting that these laws do, in fact, deny women equality of rights under the law? And that this is a good thing? Nice!
In voting to approve the Act, Illinois became the 37th state to do so — one short of the necessary 38 to put it into the Constitution. Unfortunately, the deadline to ratify the amendment was way back in 1982.
A Quick and Dirty on ERA History
As I mentioned, the amendment was first written by Alice Paul and Crystal Eastman back in 1921, but not without controversy among feminists themselves. (Jazz Age Feminists! They’re just like us!) Basically, the middle class feminists wanted it, and the working class feminists did not because they felt it would lead to them losing labor protections they’d fought for. That, for a long time, was the crux of the whole debate, and also why Eleanor Roosevelt and groups like the ACLU and the AFL-CIO initially opposed it. But, by the late ’60s and early ’70s, pretty much everyone was on board, largely because unionization and labor laws had led to those protections being more secure. It was approved by Congress and assumed that it was just going to pass. But then an evil monster named Phyllis Schlafly came along and ruined it for everybody, by traveling around the country telling other women to stay home.
Schlafly’s bullshit led not only to the Republican Party rescinding its support for the amendment (which they had done since 1940), leading them on the path to becoming the anti-woman party they have become today, but also to the amendment not passing in 1972. Then, feminists fought for and got an extension to get it passed by 1982, but were three states shy of getting it done (seven, if you count the states that rescinded their approval post-Schlafly).
Which brings us to the present day! Last year, Nevada voted to ratify, and with Illinois also voting to ratify today, that brings us to 37 states, one state short of what is needed to make it a constitutional amendment. Sort of! As long as the states that rescinded their ratifications — Idaho, Nebraska, Kentucky and Tennessee — aren’t actually allowed to do that, and South Dakota’s 1979 expiration date on their ratification doesn’t count, none of which is very clear in our Constitution.
Whether or not it can still be passed despite not meeting the deadline is kind of up in the air, legally, and there has been a recent push in Congress to remove the deadline altogether.
One thing is clear though — if we are able to get one more state (our best bets probably being either Florida or Virginia) to ratify, we at least have an argument. And if we were to win that argument, Donald Trump would be forced to sign it into law. Which, by god, would at least be very entertaining.
Get out your smelling salts — for I am about to tell you some things that will blow your very mind, and you are going to want to be prepared for this.
There are people out there, in this very country — and, in fact, all over the world — who have opinions that not everyone else agrees with.
Now, you may be thinking “Uh, everyone has opinions? What is so shocking about that?”
Well, what is shocking is that these opinion-havers are mostly white people, and mostly white men, who consider themselves intellectuals. And no matter how many times they shout into the ether that their opinions are very reasonable, there are still people out there who disagree with them. And that, my friends, is censorship.
Here are some things that you will hear when you sit down to dinner with the vanguard of the Intellectual Dark Web: There are fundamental biological differences between men and women. Free speech is under siege. Identity politics is a toxic ideology that is tearing American society apart. And we’re in a dangerous place if these ideas are considered “dark.”
These are also probably things you will hear if you sit down to dinner with pretty much any Republican on the planet. They are things you will hear on pro-Trump message boards, and throughout the manosphere. They are things you will hear on Fox News, and in the New York Times — in columns written by the continually “censored” Bari Weiss herself. They are things that you will hear, every day, probably if you are a woman on the internet. In fact, despite free speech being under siege, I have had at least five men in the span of this morning yelling all of these things to me on Twitter.
The “dissidents” Weiss profiles include Sam “Atheism is for boys ONLY” Harris, Michael Shermer, Ben Shapiro, Eric Weinstein (a mathematician and managing director of Thiel Capital — Peter Thiel being a notorious friend of free speech) and some of his relatives, Jordan Peterson, Christina Hoff Sommers (who Weiss, once again, insists is a “feminist”), and Islam critics Maajid Nawaz and Ayaan Hirsi Ali.
Weiss explains that although they don’t necessarily agree politically, they have more important things in common.
First, they are willing to disagree ferociously, but talk civilly, about nearly every meaningful subject: religion, abortion, immigration, the nature of consciousness. Second, in an age in which popular feelings about the way things ought to be often override facts about the way things actually are, each is determined to resist parroting what’s politically convenient. And third, some have paid for this commitment by being purged from institutions that have become increasingly hostile to unorthodox thought — and have found receptive audiences elsewhere.
Oh?
Imagine thinking you are so special that you are the only group of people out there having civil discussions on meaningful subjects! That must be nice. Imagine being a very famous and wealthy person, who often gets paid for their opinions, and feeling silenced and “purged.” Imagine actually believing that “popular feelings about the way things ought to be often override facts about the way things actually are.”
This last one — this “facts over feelings” nonsense — has become an incredibly popular saying these last few years among white men who believe their opinions and beliefs are facts and that no one is allowed to question them. They refer, generally, to one of the the following beliefs:
1. Men and women are inherently different, Mars and Venus, blah blah blah.
2. Black people are not as smart as white people.
3. Things are better in a society when people are all the same race or religion.
4. Muslim people are objectively bad in a variety of ways.
5. Trans people do not exist. This is really the foundational belief upon which the entire “facts not feelings” thing is based. The whole purpose of it was, initially, to invalidate the existence of trans people, and all the other bullshit extended from that.
That is what it comes down to, every time. Now, these things, objectively, are not facts. Facts are things like “sea cucumbers eat with their feet” or “Hillary Clinton won the popular vote” or “the guy who sang the theme song from ‘The Gummi Bears’ is now the lead singer of Toto.” They are verifiable.
These beliefs on the other hand, are just that — beliefs. My belief is that these are all ridiculous and stupid beliefs to hold. I also believe that none of the people holding these beliefs are psychic, which means that they could not possibly know any of these things “for a fact” to begin with.
This is not me putting feelings before facts, it is me understanding the difference between fact and opinion.
In Weiss’s article, she notes that the members of the Intellectual Dark Web say that a decade ago “none of these observations would have been considered taboo.” They’re not entirely wrong, but also this may explain why no one is that interested in hearing them. We know what they are, we know what we think about them, and no one wants to be having the same conversations they were having a decade ago. We have all moved on.
Declaring yourself a rebel who will never ever be any good because you want to talk about whether or not we can trust trans people to tell us who they are, or about how ladies are just naturally submissive and no one else wants to talk to you about that, is like getting surprised that no one will sign up for your Keith Partridge v. Leif Garrett: Who Is The Dreamiest? debate.
So now we must move on to the next issue — how are these “intellectuals” being silenced if they never shut up? If they have larger platforms than 99.9999999999% of the people in this very country? The answer is simple. They are not being silenced. They are not being agreed with, which is basically the same thing if you are the kind of person who believes they ought to be in charge of what other people think.
There is no amount of platforms they can be given, no amount of books sold, no amount of television appearances that can possibly sate them. None of this will make them feel unsilenced or uncensored. Shit, Donald Trump probably still feels like he’s being silenced. The only thing that will make them feel the way they think they ought to feel is by eliminating one of the things that they claim to stand for so bravely — free speech.
To them, free speech is not the right to disagree with them. It is not the right to protest things one opposes. It is not the right to boycott things for the reason of one’s choosing. Free speech is when they get to say what they want, and — more importantly — the person listening listening responds “Oh wow, I never thought of it THAT way. Are you like a genius or something? Teehee!” in a Marilyn Monroe voice. And it has to be the right people that respond that way. It can’t just be their Reddit fanboys. It has to be feminists and trans people and people of color and all the people they have their little issues with.
Ultimately, this is not about them saying “dissident” things, it is not about them being censored, it is not even about what they believe or say or do. It is about their fear that they are losing social power, dominance and authority, and the fact that their egos tell them that the world will be the worse for it. They imagine hordes of social justice warriors saying, “Well, this black trans woman says that fairies are real, and since you are a heterosexual white man, I’m going to take her word over yours!” and then imagine themselves cowering in a corner going, “I was only trying to tell the truth!” That is, of course, not at all what is happening, but it is absolutely what they think is happening.
Until they accept equality, they are always going to feel oppressed, they are always going to feel censored, they are always going to feel silenced. There is nothing we can do for them, short of agreeing with everything they do and say and telling them they are wonderful, special, and have the shiniest, bounciest hair we’ve ever seen. I don’t see that happening any time … ever, so they’re probably just going to have to get the fuck over it.
by Dan Neilan on News, shared by Dan Neilan to The A.V. Club
Following a stellar performance as both host and musical guest on Saturday Night Live, Donald Glover capped off the weekend by dropping a surprise Childish Gambino track that pretty much guaranteed he’d be dominating the trending topics on Twitter. The Hiro Murai-directed video for “This Is America” is a…
Donald Trump has been very mad at Amazon lo this past … what-seems-like-forever. His current gripe is that the company is somehow costing the post office tons of money by taking advantage of bulk shipping deals:
Now, it’s true Amazon gets a deal on shipping its products. So do other companies that ship lots of products through the USPS. But the rather than costing the post office money, these deals actually brought in $7 billion in 2017, which is pretty good, given that it’s not like people are regularly mailing letters anymore.
One would think someone who went to business school would understand this. Much like the unofficial motto of real estate agents is “location, location, location!” the unofficial motto of retailers is “volume, volume, volume!”
This deal makes the most amount of economic sense for USPS. First of all, it’s guaranteed income. Second, Amazon drops their products off themselves at the post office in large quantities, meaning there’s less work for postal workers than if they had to come and pick up just one package from a store or a person’s house.
Part of the reason we know they’re turning a profit is because there is a law that essentially requires them to do so. In 2006, a lame-duck Republican Congress passed the Postal Accountability and Enhancement Act, which gave USPS 10 years to fund worker pensions and benefits for the next 75 years — which costs them $5.5 billion a year — and also prohibited them from raising postage rates. This, as you might imagine, was not due to any great love for workers and their pensions, but because Republicans wanted the post office eliminated and replaced entirely by private companies. So actually it’s deals like the one with Amazon that are saving the post office. They don’t give Amazon this deal out of the kindness of their hearts, but because it is a good deal for them.
Could the USPS charge Amazon and other bulk shippers more? Sure! But they would then run the risk of losing Amazon to competitors who offer bulk shipping. As any smart shopper knows, it is cheaper to buy in bulk than it is to pay retail. The reason for this is simple — a guaranteed sale of lots of a product at a slightly lower price is a better deal for the company than selling one product at retail price. It’s why Costco exists — or Sam’s Club, if Costco is too much of a socialist paradise for right-wingers to relate to. It’s why I spent two years of my life ringing up 10-for-$10 earrings at Afterthoughts in the mall, and why Amazon gives me a deal on my “subscribe and save” bulk purchasing of Medaglia D’Oro instant espresso. It’s also why when you buy something on sale, you’re usually not allowed to return it. There’s a give and a get that goes along with all of this. The post office is giving, but they are also getting.
I used to think everyone knew how this works. Then again, I was raised in the church of Marshall’s and Costco and “Guess how much?” If we had a family crest, it would read That’s How They Get You and it would be fashioned from repurposed thrift store ties and duct tape.
However, this appears to not be the case! Perhaps conservatives, like Donald Trump, simply have no idea how buying in bulk works. So much for fiscal responsibility!
This would explain why they don’t understand why national health care would be cheaper overall, and also, frankly, why they don’t understand that collective bargaining (unions) leads to better wages and benefits for workers. Other countries get cheaper prescription drugs because they are, like Amazon, like Costco customers, buying them in bulk. This gives them more leverage to negotiate drug prices. This is also the purpose of insurance companies, but because insurance groups are a lot smaller than entire countries, they don’t have that same leverage. If all of America were one big insurance group (and were not legally forbidden from negotiating drug prices as we are with Medicare), we would also be able to demand lower prices.
What this comes down to, I suspect, is a general lack of understanding that an individual bargaining for one thing does not have as much leverage as a person or a group bargaining for multiple things. They’re the ones standing at the cash register arguing that it’s unfair that they have to buy one thing in order to get another thing half-off.
It would also somewhat explain this confounding question I came across on Reddit about boycotts. Maybe. It is also very possible that this person is just extremely stupid:
I’m not saying this explains everything. It certainly doesn’t. But I will tell you that there is a reason why my number one “arguing for national healthcare” tactic for the last decade or so has been “Explain Costco.” It’s simple, it’s effective, and it appeals to bargain shoppers. If people can understand how Costco works, they can then understand why national healthcare makes the most economic sense for everyone, they can understand why Amazon gets a deal on bulk shipping, and they can understand why collective bargaining yields better results than people pushing for raises as individuals.
We are all that bunny. Unless that bunny is Sean Spicer, in which case we are not that bunny.
Um, happy Easter, America. On Monday, the White House had its annual Easter Egg Roll, because that’s what happens on Easter Monday. And the children frolicked and played and had books joyfully read in their general directions by Sarah Huckabee Sanders, and of course, the president of the United States, who is totally normal and cuddly and is also 100% sentient and knows where he is at all times, spoke to the children. And oh, the things he told them!
I want to thank the White House Historical Association and all the people who work so hard to keep this incredible house, or building or whatever you want to call it. Because there really is no name for it.
Indeed, there is not. It’s a pity we don’t have a name for the building the White House Historical Association takes care of. Because after all:
It’s special and we keep it in tip-top shape.
They keep the lawn very nice and do all necessary fixer-upper repairs at 1600 Pennsvylania Avenue, AKA the Building With No Name.
We call it sometimes “tippy-top shape.”
Wait, is he saying sometimes he calls the building with no name “Tippy-Top Shape”? Does the president’s calendar say sometimes he is at Mar-a-Lago and sometimes he is at TIPPY-TOP SHAPE? Maybe that is what Dr. Ronny said about the president’s very good body after his medical examination, which obviously didn’t include a full neurological check-up.
And it’s a great, great place.
Well, it will be great again after the 2020 election, at least. Glad they’re keeping it in “tippy-top shape” for the next time we have a real president.
Trump then shifted into talking to kids, in their own language, about things kids care about:
You look at the economy, you look at what’s happening, nothing’s ever easy, but we have never had an economy like we have right now …
Not that the children were paying attention, BECAUSE THEY WERE THERE FOR A CHILDREN’S EASTER BUNNY PARTY, but the stock market spent Monday afternoon nose-diving, partially because President Tippy-Top Shape is having a one-sided Twitter war with the CEO of Amazon. But aside from that.
Anything else?
Our military is now at a level, will soon be at a level that it’s never been before, it’s, uh, you see what’s happening, and you see what’s happening with funding, the funding of our military, was so important . […] Just think of $700 billion dollars, because that’s all going into our military this year.
We would spend more time analyzing this truly historical presidential address to the nation’s children, but unfortunately our senile fuckwit of a president has done and said many more crazy ass things since this happened, therefore we must move on.
Besides, that bunny’s face says everything already.
Let’s not beat around the bush here. Donald Trump is FUCKING CRAZY. If your dad said half the loony shit he does, you’d have taken him to a neurologist months ago. Republican sycophants are going to swear on a stack of bibles that he’s just a little rough around the edges, and he’s not familiar with the ways of DC. And the MAGAhadists will say they like him because, “He tells it how it is!” Which is utter nonsense, and we shouldn’t put up with it. DONALD TRUMP TELLS IT HOW IT ISN’T! And we need to point it out, because the president’s mental faculties are clearly in decline.
Let’s just talk about what happened yesterday.
Executive Time Twitter Ranting
Put aside the content of this tweet for a second and let’s just talk about the weirdass syntax.
The Fake News Networks, those that knowingly have a sick and biased AGENDA, are worried about the competition and quality of Sinclair Broadcast. The “Fakers” at CNN, NBC, ABC & CBS have done so much dishonest reporting that they should only be allowed to get awards for fiction!
I know we’re all getting used to it, but why does the president use random quotes and capitalization? You know who typed like that? The fucking Unabomber! Only that guy could actually spell.
Here he is conditioning foreign aid on other countries policing our “Weak Laws” border, which is NOT HOW IT WORKS.
The big Caravan of People from Honduras, now coming across Mexico and heading to our “Weak Laws” Border, had better be stopped before it gets there. Cash cow NAFTA is in play, as is foreign aid to Honduras and the countries that allow this to happen. Congress MUST ACT NOW!
More misspelled arglebargle about the network which employed Corey Lewandowski, Jason Miller and Kayleigh McEnany.
Check out the fact that you can’t get a job at ratings challenged @CNN unless you state that you are totally anti-Trump? Little Jeff Zuker, whose job is in jeopardy, is not having much fun lately. They should clean up and strengthen CNN and get back to honest reporting!
Then he closed out the morning by telling some outright lies about Amazon and accusing the “P.O. leaders” of complicity in a scheme to defraud US taxpayers.
I am right about Amazon costing the United States Post Office massive amounts of money for being their Delivery Boy. Amazon should pay these costs (plus) and not have them bourne by the American Taxpayer. Many billions of dollars. P.O. leaders don’t have a clue (or do they?)!
Does he even know that all seven of the slots that he’s entitled to fill on the USPS Board of Governors are currently vacant? No, of course he doesn’t. Because he’s fucking demented! He’s an old man hollering at the teevee that back in his day, stamps cost a nickel. Why is Grandpa Simpson running the country?
How Do You Say ‘National Fucking Humiliation’ in Latvian?
After the McDonald’s wrappers had been cleared away, an aide helped him into his pants — why do his pants look like that? — and Trump shuffled downstairs to meet with the leaders of Latvia, Lithuania, and Estonia, three former Soviet states trying to maintain their independence with Vladimir Putin breathing down their necks.
Trump got the ball rolling by congratulating the Baltic states on the 100th anniversary of their independence. Does he get that there’s a giant, 51-year Russian asterisk on that anniversary? Probably not, since he went on to say that it would be so awesome if he and Putin could become BFFs.
But getting along with Russia would be a good thing, not a bad thing. And just about everybody agrees to that, except very stupid people. Okay.
Yeah, okay, Poppy.
Later at the joint press conference Trump insisted that he’s really BRINGIN’ IT to Russia by ratcheting up military spending and drilling for oil in the Arctic.
Nobody’s been tougher on Russia than I have. And you can — and I know you’re nodding yes, because everyone agrees when they think about it — strong energy, the United States.
My opponent was into other forms of energy, like windmills. We’re — we’re very strong on energy. We’re essentially, now, energy-independent. We’re an exporter of energy. That is not a positive for Russia. But it’s certainly a positive for the United States.
We’re sure the Estonians feel totally reassured that you’re axing subsidies for renewables. That’ll really help them next time Russian hackers try to take out their digital infrastructure.
Luckily the Russian awkwardness was cut short because Trump veered off into his usual crazytalk tangents. There was CARAVAN and WALL and CROOKED HILLARY and lamentation that we didn’t steal Iraq’s oil after the war. Plus he was on again with that nonsense about NATO “dues”:
And again, NATO has taken in billions of dollars more because of me, because I said, “You’re delinquent, you’re not paying,” to many of the countries. Is that right? Many of the countries weren’t paying. And even now, Germany is paying 1 percent and they’re not even paying the full 1 percent. […]
With all of that being said, because of me — and you can speak to the head of NATO, Mr. Stoltenberg; he said that because of what I’ve said to the countries, they’ve taken in general, I think you’ll confirm this too — many billions of dollars more than they would have had if you had crooked Hillary Clinton as President. Okay? That I can tell you. Many billions of dollars more.
Angela Merkel splained him already in small words that NATO requires each country to spend 2% of their GDP on military, that the targets have been extended to 2024, and that these are NOT DUES. But Trump doesn’t get it, because he’s a demented old fool who believes what he believes, and it doesn’t matter what facts you shout at him.
Our trade deficit with China is $375 billion, and yet he repeats over and over that it’s $500 billion. Where did he get that number? Dunno! Did it jump from the pile of scrambled eggs between his ears to Fox News, or vice versa?
Look, we get that you’re not supposed to diagnose psychiatric problems from afar — and anyway we are not a mental health professional. But something is VERY WRONG here. Republicans are standing behind a raving lunatic pretending he’s a stable genius. And we need to stop going, “Oh, that’s just Trump being Trump.” The man is out of his fucking gourd, and we need to start saying so!
Are you a fairly regular Wonkette reader and have had a nagging little voice for some time saying “you should throw Wonkette a buck every month”? That is called your conscience. Listen to it! It feels good!
VEY IZ MIR! Donald Trump and his lawyers are breaking legal Twitter again. Saturday night, Michael Cohen joined the president for dinner at Mar-a-Lago, and by sheer coincidence Cohen’s own lawyer David Schwartz unveiled a new theory of the case on CNN last night.
Here is Michael Cohen’s lawyer and spokesman saying categorically that Cohen negotiated agreement w/o ever telling his client DJT anything abt it and made him a party to the agreement w/o any intention of telling him abt it or having him sign it. @MichaelAvenatti@renato_mariottipic.twitter.com/xqNLvcx1uX
The president was not aware of the agreement. At least Michael Cohen never told him about the agreement, I can tell you that. […] He wasn’t told about it. Michael Cohen left the option open, that’s why he left that signature line, the option open to go to him. He chose not to. He chose to bind the LLC, EC, LLC, and Stormy Daniels into the contract.
Live shot of every lawyer in America last night.
OKAY, THEN. Let’s break it down here.
A lawyer has a duty to keep his client informed of all developments in his case, so Cohen may have violated ethics laws and faces possible professional sanction in New York.
Cohen signed away Trump’s right to sue Stormy Daniels for disclosures she made prior to the NDA, which he couldn’t do without explicit authorization from Trump himself. So the contract is probably invalid — she traded her silence for $130,000 and indemnification, which she didn’t get because Cohen couldn’t give it to her.
And because this guy couldn’t draft a grocery list ALLEGEDLY, Cohen ensured that only Donald Trump could enforce the contract. Except Donald Trump isn’t even a party to the contract, since he neither signed nor authorized it according to David Schwartz, and thus no one has the power enforce it.
But wait, there’s more! Because if there’s something missing here, it’s mansplaining.
There’s also this luscious mansplain moment. Trump Cheese Lawyer to Erin Burnett: “If you do understand, **and you do somewhat **, you understand the Trump structure, and Michael Cohen it was much more than attorney and client.” pic.twitter.com/sdldx0kfKQ
Donald Trump in this agreement, he’s a third party beneficiary. I know, you’re smiling at me, but these are legal concepts. […] He didn’t have an obligation, and if you understand, and you do somewhat, you understand the structure of the Trump Org and Michael Cohen’s role in there. It was much more than attorney and client.
Stop talking, Boychik! For the love of God!
Yeah, us too, girl!
SCHWARTZ: Because he’s that close to him, he had great latitude to handle these matters.
BURNETT: So they happened with such frequency that you wouldn’t need to tell him about a $130,000 payment?
SCHWARTZ: No, no. Matters in general. Michael was the fixer. We all know Michael was the fixer.
Aaaaaand, he’s still out there disgracing the legal profession this morning.
“Of course he didn’t order it.” Michael Cohen's attorney, David Schwartz, says in response to question asking if Cohen ordered alleged threat against Stormy Daniels in a Las Vegas parking lot in 2011 pic.twitter.com/KkkuLvD6OW
Contemporary faith-based films are usually content to sequester themselves with an audience of true believers, never making much of an attempt to integrate into mainstream movie genres. I Can Only Imagine is not exactly an exception, but it does attempt to engage with less churchy music biographies in one way. In…
This past Martin Luther King Day, students in the predominantly white Oconomowoc Area School District in suburban Milwaukee attended a school assembly in which white privilege and other social privileges were discussed. And boy, were their parents unhappy about it!So unhappy that the principal of the school ended up resigning, and the district officially “imposed limits” on any discussions of social privileges that are not related to a specific course and necessary for the context of the lesson.
The controversial assembly included an exercise in which students were asked to fill out the following “Privilege Aptitude Test,” created by the National Civil Rights Museum, and a discussion of what unearned social privileges are and how they work.
Clearly, the concerned parents did not read the actual test.
“This is a classic example of the school bullying the community,” one concerned parent told News/Talk 1130 WISN “They’re imposing their views about privilege on our kids and we have no say in it whatsoever.”
What are the odds that these are the same people who say that rape victims who want trigger warnings on texts describing explicit rape scenes are “snowflakes”? That they are the same people who say “political correctness” prevents them from openly discussing issues they consider to be important? That they are the same people who get mad about college students protesting racist speakers? Or get mad about people getting “offended” by things? I’d say they are pretty good.
School Board President Donald Wiemer explained to the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel why the board had decided to put the kibosh on discussions of privilege, a concept he still does not quite seem to understand:
“Our board is fine with discussions about diversity … but white privilege is a lightning rod for some parents,” said Wiemer, the board president who also serves as village manager and chief of police for the Village of Oconomowoc Lake, a small, affluent enclave on the southeast side of the district.
“We have poor people in Oconomowoc who are saying they’re not privileged … and people that say, ‘Don, we worked our butts off to have what we have,'” Wiemer said.
Yes, Don, surely they have. But while they were working their butts off, they weren’t all being followed around retail stores by workers who believed they were going to shoplift due to the color of their skin, and they weren’t all doing it on one leg, and they weren’t all doing it while being taken less seriously because of their gender.
If certain things put people at a disadvantage then, logically, it follows that people who don’t have to deal with those things are at an advantage. It is easier to not experience racism or sexism than to experience it. This is not that hard. How are you going to have “discussions about diversity” without going that extra step?
The curious thing about this situation is that these people do not seem to be mad about what we actually mean when we talk about white privilege or male privilege or other forms of unearned privileges. They are mad about what they have decided those things mean. They have decided that what we mean by “white privilege” is that all white people are born with a silver spoon in their mouths, waited on hand and foot by butlers, driven around in limousines by chauffeurs, never have to work a day in their lives — and are all irredeemably BAD. And they are furious that anyone would dare to suggest such a thing, despite the fact that absolutely no one is saying that.
It’s a strawman argument, and a common one. They do the same thing with Black Lives Matter, insisting that it means “And white lives DON’T!” They do the same thing with “toxic masculinity,” deciding to interpret it as “liberals think all men are bad and toxic” rather than a term that refers to the ways in which certain societal expectations of masculinity are detrimental not only to women, but also to men themselves. They do it with the “pussy hats” some chose to wear at the Women’s March, going on and on about how crass hats with cat ears are, while refusing to acknowledge that the very reason for those hats was because the country had just elected a man who went around bragging about grabbing women by the pussy. They do it with Marina Abramovic’s “Spirit Cooking” — digging their heels in and refusing to understand that sometimes performance art is just weird, a concept liberals have understood since at least the mid-’80s. They do it with pretty much everything.
Is this all willful misinterpretation? Is it that they are unable to formulate an argument against these things, and thus resort to changing their meaning in order to have something that seems more reasonable to attack? Or are they just really stupid and genuinely convinced that their interpretation of these things is correct? Is it that many of these terms and ideas trigger such an emotional reaction in them that they rendered are unable to Google and must define them for themselves? It is honestly pretty hard to tell.
It’s unfortunate, really, that the children in this school will no longer be learning about these concepts. It is, perhaps, even more unfortunate that their parents won’t either.
