Crooooow

Before They Were Hits.../:

A play list of songs that were sampled into #1 hits.

Press play if that seems like the kind of thing you’re into

this was an ’80s twilight zone episode based on a richard matheson short story

tune in tomorrow for more topical references

:)

Jay Cutler showed up to Bears training camp today driving the vehicle you see above, what Jay calls a conversion van. Cutler made it very clear that this was not a mini-van, probably because he has spawned a whole brood of mini-Cutlers and a mini-van seems like a pretty sensible option for a dad. But it's a conversion van, not a dad-van.

Read more...

If you go to Thailand, please make sure to pick me up one of these sweet handwoven bracelets

MY WIFE

Look out, South Korea . Japan's challenging your history of odd first pitches at baseball games.

Read more...

jigglebologna:

pdlcomics:

The Case of the Package of the Bees

OutSTANDING.

If you haven't already seen the play, that pair of legs belongs to Cubs first baseman Anthony Rizzo, who flipped over the wall as he caught a foul popup in Sunday's game against the Diamondbacks.

Read more...

This Cardinals fan takes us on a very satisfying 10-second journey. Dressed in his road grays and holding a newly purchased and refreshing beer, he saunters back to his lady friend at the railing, rests his hand against the rail, drops his beer instantaneously, does a quick welp gesture, and looks to be heading back to replace his plunging beverage as we head to commercial.

Read more...

Just a quick reminder that no matter how incoherent you may be feeling on any given day, you’d have to travel pretty darn far to match this classic from candidate George Herbert Walker Bush, kicking off a 1992 campaign swing through New Hampshire with a speech to employees of an insurance company:

“You cannot be president of the United States if you don’t have faith. Remember Lincoln, going to his knees in times of trial and the Civil War and all that stuff. You can’t be. And we are blessed. So don’t feel sorry for — don’t cry for me, Argentina. Message: I care.”

And no, there really is no context that makes it make any more sense.

[New York Magazine]

Earlier this season, Bartolo Colon recorded his first hit since 2005. (He now has two on the season!) But in the fourth inning of today's Mets-Pirates game, he wasn't Bartolo the Slugger. He was Bartolo the Whiffer.

Read more...

Michelle Wie won the first major of her career on Sunday, shooting a final-round 70 to claim the U.S. Open title. Afterward, she got together with some friends to celebrate the victory, and oh man did they have they have a party.

Read more...

Let's forget about tonight's bummer of a draw and look to the future. These are the scenarios whereby the USMNT gets a spot in the Round of 16.

Read more...

The Trademark Trial and Appeal Board of the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office ruled today in Blackhorse v. Pro-Football Inc., a suit brought by a group of Native Americans seeking to have the Washington Redskins' trademarks canceled on the grounds that the name is disparaging. The plaintiffs achieved a major victory: the board ruled against the team.

Read more...

Raul Ibanez hit a foul ball in today's Angels-Indians game. That's not odd. The odd part is that no one found it.

Read more...

HENDERSON, NV—Aghast at the hulking, shapeless being that lurched toward the registers, cashiers at the local Green Valley Parkway’s Walgreens confirmed Thursday that the soulless mass shambling down the aisle was nothing but a lumbering golem...

In what looks like a pretty obvious pitch for an as-yet-unmade cable TV drama series, an Ohio police chief dated a heroin addict wanted on drug charges instead of arresting her. Police Chief Lucas Mace, of the village of Glouster, has been indicted on multiple charges after hiding Hillary Hooper — come on, says Showtime, we at least need realistic names for these characters! — as well as sleeping with her and trying to help her escape arrest:

An Athens County grand jury indicted Mace [May 27] on 12 charges — five of them felonies — and Athens County Prosecutor Keller Blackburn painted a much clearer picture of what he said was “a shameful pattern of wrongdoing” on the chief’s part.

“He was basically using his office as a dating service,” Blackburn said.

We’ll let you pervierts make your own jokes about spraying the suspect with Mace, because we are far too classy to say something like that.

Mace, who’s been suspended without pay by the village council, allegedly began the romance/coerced relationship/dumbfuckery (we don’t have any idea how consensual this could have been, considering) on March 28 when Hooper was in an auto crash; she had warrants out on her and was suspected of using heroin, but instead of arresting her, Mace decided he’d use her as an “undercover informant.” Cue the crappy 70′s synthesizer music here. Mayor Miles Wolf (look, just stop it!) said that he’d heard that Mace was dating Hooper, and so he informed Blackburn, who began an investigation in April.

Blackburn said that by May 22, Mace knew that Hooper was wanted in two counties, but instead of arresting her, he took her to dinner and then home with him, and then the next day helped her go on the run. But then Mace was arrested and Hooper turned herself in.

Just for a little extra “Ick,” we learn that

recorded radio traffic is evidence that Mace knew of the warrants out for Hooper. Mace called her “Softie” because he said “she had the softest skin he’d ever touched,” Blackburn said.

Seriously, sleazeball cops of America, please come up with better nicknames for your druggie girlfriends.

Also, too, Mace had a “hidden camera in his office,” which should just provide loads of entertaining evidence, and his police car has also been seized as part of the case, with this dainty note from the Columbus Dispatch:

Authorities also confiscated Mace’s cruiser; a preliminary investigation has uncovered evidence that the chief likely had sex in it, Blackburn said.

For god’s sake, man, use a towel. And turn off the dash cam.

Sadly, we must report that this story has no alligators in it. That’s really kind of a letdown.

[Columbus Dispatch]

Follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter. He thinks the cop’s name in the TV series should be Lance Hardcheese

Video game producers utilize music to keep you engaged, increase your achievement, and give you the energy to make it to the next level. So maybe you just found your ideal work soundtrack.

Karltorp has found that music from games he used to play as a kid, such as StarCraft, Street Fighter, and Final Fantasy, work best. Because the music is designed to foster achievement and help players get to the next level, it activates a similar "in it to win it" mentality while working, argues Karltorp. At the same time, it's not too disruptive to your concentration. "It's there in the background," said Karltorp. "It doesn't get too intrusive, it keeps you going, and usually stays on a positive tone, too, which I found is important."

Tags: music   video games   working

For some reason, Donald Sterling thought it would be a good idea to attend a black church service on Sunday. According to the Associated Press, he went to a service at the Praises of Zion Missionary Baptist Church in Los Angeles and received a "warm welcome" from the congregation. I think the guy on the right in this photo might disagree with that assessment.

Read more...

International friendlies are unusual in soccer in that nobody there — a bit like the only baseball game I've ever been to — cares very much about the outcome.

Read more...