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Or we could throw up mirror particles to reflect sunlight to space and our shameful reflections back at us.
New comic!
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Philip.paulssonHeh

Philip.paulssonWell that's lame. "You got: Materialism
You believe in the material. You think that all phenomena, including mental phenomena, are reducible to material interactions."
Are you a hedonist or an existentialist?

Getty Images / BuzzFeed
Philip.paulssonhaha "thanks for all the fish." nice.
It took nearly 10 years, but authorities have finally targeted and taken down What.cd, which had risen to become the Internet's largest invite-only, music-trading torrent site.
The news was confirmed by the tracker's official Twitter account on Thursday via two posts: "We are not likely to return any time soon in our current form. All site and user data has been destroyed. So long, and thanks for all the fish."
Philip.paulssonHehe
WASHINGTON—Following months of analysis and numerous rounds of human trials, the Food and Drug Administration officially announced Thursday the approval of a new pasta shape. “After conducting multiple research studies, we have determined that tagallafoglio is as safe, effective, and flavorful as any other pasta shape on the market,” said FDA commissioner Robert Califf, adding that the tubular curl with scalloped edges passed tests for retaining both tomato and cream-based sauces, and was shown to possess a conveniently short boil time. “The ease with which it can be picked up with a fork and achieve an al dente texture were all in compliance with FDA standards. Furthermore, the pasta can be safely served hot as an entree or cold in a salad, and manufacturers have full approval to produce it without any restrictions regarding use of white flour, wheat flour, or a tricolor mix.” Ostroff cautioned, however, that the ...
Philip.paulssonHeh
Well, well, what do we have here? Yeah, I see you there, curled up with me open in your lap. Intently flipping through my pages. Engrossed in a story that taps into your imagination and stirs your emotions. Is that what’s happening? Am I transporting you to a whole new world full of richly textured settings and beautifully drawn characters, you pussy?
I fucking knew it! I’m drawing you right into a vivid, three-dimensional narrative universe, and you’re lapping it all up, just like the dickless little bitch you are.
I can see it in the way you’re racing from sentence to sentence to find out what happens next—you’re going to spend your whole pathetic evening reading me, aren’t you? Probably your whole sad-as-fuck weekend, too. You certainly look like the kind of loser who would sympathize with my subtly depicted chief protagonist ...
Philip.paulssonI need to get a dog.
“What do you mean? I’m not on the couch.”


calicojack1 / Via imgur.com

MuskyTusk
Philip.paulssonUGH.

(credit: Aurich Lawson / Thinkstock)
Republicans in Congress have urged the Federal Communications Commission to avoid passing any controversial regulations between now and Donald Trump's inauguration as president. If FCC Chairman Tom Wheeler complies with the request, it could prevent passage of rules designed to help cable customers avoid set-top box rental fees—and any other controversial changes.
"Leadership of the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) will soon change," Sen. John Thune (R-S.D.), chairman of the Senate Commerce Committee, wrote to Wheeler yesterday. "Congressional oversight of the execution of our nation's communications policies will continue. Any action taken by the FCC following November 8, 2016, will receive particular scrutiny. I strongly urge the FCC to avoid directing its attention and resources in the coming months to complex, partisan, or otherwise controversial items that the new Congress and new Administration will have an interest in reviewing."
Thune's office said that Democrats made a similar request of the FCC in December 2008 when the presidency was about to change from Republican to Democratic control, and "the FCC complied with the request."
Philip.paulssonBelieve it or not, I've never actually been to a LAN party.
If someone trips over the ethernet cable, the whole night is ruined.

imgur.com oreios

Flickr: dannysotzny / Via creativecommons.org

Flickr: phillipstewart / Via CC-BY-SA creativecommons.org

imgur.com ChristopherCollins
Philip.paulssonHehe nice.
Just some poems about some things that have been going on lately.

Kieferpix / Getty Images / BuzzFeed

Erikona / Getty Images / BuzzFeed

Matt Cardy / Getty Images / BuzzFeed

Standret / Getty Images / BuzzFeed
Philip.paulssonI'm surprised this hasn't happened to me yet.
Josh Goudswaard, who has been living in Perth, Australia, for the past four years, recently went on a holiday to Bali with a woman he met on Tinder.
Friends appealed on Facebook after Goudswaard went missing, and family spokesman Aaron Smith said earlier this week that Indonesian police had told Goudswaard's family he had flown out of Bali on November 1 for an unspecified country.
On Thursday night, Smith wrote on Facebook that New Zealand Police had confirmed CCTV of Goudswaard leaving Bali, and that Josh had been found in Thailand playing the bongos.
"I'll make sure he realised how big this has become," Smith wrote. "Bloody classic! Turns out he's made a couple of bad business decisions and with the current economic climate he has taken some time-out."

Philip.paulssonMary's Chicken?! Also... the spanish are terrible.
Philip.paulssonNice.
We’re all so lucky that dogs exist.




Philip.paulssonWoah.
Actress Carrie Fisher reveals in a new memoir that she and Star Wars co-star Harrison Ford had a real-life affair in addition to their on-screen romance when she was 19 and he was 33. What do you think?
Philip.paulssonSigh.
CLEVELAND—After waiting for the cheers and loud chants of his name to die down, Donald Trump reportedly began his headlining speech Thursday night at the Republican National Convention by taking a moment to remind the members of his party this was their final opportunity to get out of this thing before it went any further.
Trump, who stepped onto the stage to officially accept his party’s nomination amid tremendous fanfare, opened his remarks by making it clear that the American people’s last chance to back out of this whole situation had arrived, and that if they did not bow out now, they would be in it with him until the very end.
“Good evening, everybody, and thank you very much—wow, what an incredible night,” said Trump, addressing a frenzied crowd of 20,000 in Quicken Loans Arena and millions of additional viewers watching on television and ...
Philip.paulssonDude deserves a physical execution next.

(credit: Shawn Campbell)
Late Tuesday evening, USA Today reported that Twitter had suspended several accounts associated with racist white nationalist users and groups, including the account of Richard B. Spencer.
Spencer is the president of an organization that describes itself as being “dedicated to the heritage, identity, and future of people of European descent in the United States.”
That group, the “National Policy Institute,” also had its Twitter account suspended.
Philip.paulssonLOL
Philip.paulssonUhh yeah you do. It's a resounding "no."
Today, I finally got the courage to ask out a girl I've had a crush on for months now. She told me I was very cute and then walked off. I still don't have an answer. FML
Philip.paulssonScary article.
Note: this essay contains a lot of links out, which are underlined. Consider them further reading or me backing up my opinions.
It seems we're entering another of those stupid seasons humans impose on themselves at fairly regular intervals.
My background is archaeology, so also history and anthropology. It leads me to look at big historical patterns. My theory is that most peoples' perspective of history is limited to the experience communicated by their parents and grandparents, so 50-100 years. To go beyond that you have to read, study and learn to untangle the propaganda that is inevitable in all telling of history. In a nutshell, at university I would fail a paper if I didn't compare at least two, if not three opposing views on a topic. Taking one telling of events as gospel doesn't wash in the comparative analytical method of research that forms the core of British academia. (I can't speak for other systems, but they're definitely not all alike in this way.)
So zooming out, we humans have a habit of going into phases of mass destruction, generally self-imposed to some extent or another. This handy list shows all the wars over time. Wars are actually the norm for humans, but every now and then something big comes along. I am interested in the Black Death, which devastated Europe. The opening of Boccaccio's Decameron describes Florence in the grips of the Plague. It is as beyond imagination as the Somme, Hiroshima or the Holocaust. I mean, you quite literally can't put yourself there and imagine what it was like. For those in the midst of the Plague, it must have felt like the end of the world.
[Trump is] a charismatic narcissist who feeds on the crowd to become ever stronger, creating a cult around himself.
But a defining feature of humans is their resilience. To us now, it seems obvious that we survived the Plague, but to people at the time it must have seemed incredible that their society continued afterwards. Indeed, many takes on the effects of the Black Death are that it had a positive impact in the long term. Well summed up here:
By targeting frail people of all ages, and killing them by the hundreds of thousands within an extremely short period of time, the Black Death might have represented a strong force of natural selection and removed the weakest individuals on a very broad scale within Europe," ...In addition, the Black Death significantly changed the social structure of some European regions. Tragic depopulation created the shortage of working people. This shortage caused wages to rise. Products prices fell too. Consequently, standards of living increased. For instance, people started to consume more food of higher quality.
But for the people living through it, as with the World Wars, Soviet Famines, Holocaust, it must have felt inconceivable that humans could rise up from it. The collapse of the Roman Empire, Black Death, Spanish Inquisition, Thirty Years War, War of the Roses, English Civil War... it's a long list. Events of massive destruction from which humanity recovered and move on, often in better shape.
At a local level in time, people think things are fine -- then things rapidly spiral out of control until they become unstoppable, and we wreak massive destruction on ourselves. For the people living in the midst of this, it is hard to see happening and hard to understand. To historians later, it all makes sense and we see clearly how one thing led to another. During the Centenary of the Battle of the Somme I was struck that it was a direct outcome of the assassination of an Austrian Arch Duke in Bosnia. I very much doubt anyone at the time thought the killing of a minor European royal would lead to the death of 17 million people.
My point is that this is a cycle. It happens again and again, but as most people only have a 50-100 year historical perspective they don't see that it's happening again. As the events that led to the First World War unfolded, there were a few brilliant minds who started to warn that something big was wrong, that the web of treaties across Europe could lead to a war, but they were dismissed as hysterical, mad, or fools, as is always the way, and as people who worry about Putin, Brexit and Trump are dismissed now.
A little thing leads to an unstoppable destruction that could have been prevented if you'd listened and thought a bit.
Then after the War to end all Wars, we went and had another one. Again, for a historian it was quite predictable. Lead people to feel they have lost control of their country and destiny, people look for scapegoats, a charismatic leader captures the popular mood, and singles out that scapegoat. He talks in rhetoric that has no detail, and drums up anger and hatred. Soon the masses start to move as one, without any logic driving their actions, and the whole becomes unstoppable.
That was Hitler, but it was also Mussolini, Stalin, Putin, Mugabe and so many more. Mugabe is a very good case in point. He whipped up national anger and hatred towards the land owning white minority (who happened to know how to run farms), and seized their land to redistribute to the people, in a great populist move which in the end unravelled the economy and farming industry and left the people in possession of land, but starving. See also the famines created by the Soviet Union, and the one caused by the Chinese Communists last century in which 20-40 million people died. It seems inconceivable that people could create a situation in which tens of millions of people die without reason, but we do it again and again.
But at the time people don't realize they're embarking on a route that will lead to a destruction period. They think they're right, they're cheered on by jeering angry mobs, their critics are mocked. This cycle, the one we saw for example from the Treaty of Versaille, to the rise of Hitler, to the Second World War, appears to be happening again. But as with before, most people cannot see it because:
1. They are only looking at the present, not the past or future
2. They are only looking immediately around them, not at how events connect globally
3. Most people don't read, think, challenge or hear opposing views
Trump is doing this in America. Those of us with some oversight from history can see it happening. Read this brilliant, long essay in the New York magazine to understand how Plato described all this, and it is happening just as he predicted. Trump says he will Make America Great Again, when in fact America is currently great, according to pretty well any statistics. He is using passion, anger and rhetoric in the same way all his predecessors did -- a charismatic narcissist who feeds on the crowd to become ever stronger, creating a cult around himself. You can blame society, politicians, the media, for America getting to the point that it's ready for Trump, but the bigger historical picture is that history generally plays out the same way each time someone like him becomes the boss.
On a wider stage, zoom out some more, Russia is a dictatorship with a charismatic leader using fear and passion to establish a cult around himself. Turkey is now there too. Hungary, Poland, Slovakia are heading that way, and across Europe more Trumps and Putins are waiting in the wings, in fact funded by Putin, waiting for the popular tide to turn their way.
We should be asking ourselves what our Archduke Ferdinand moment will be. How will an apparently small event trigger another period of massive destruction. We see Brexit, Trump, Putin in isolation. The world does not work that way -- all things are connected and affecting each other. I have pro-Brexit friends who say, "Oh, you're going to blame that on Brexit too??" But they don't realize that actually, yes, historians will trace neat lines from apparently unrelated events back to major political and social shifts like Brexit.
We are entering a bad phase. It will be unpleasant for those living through it, maybe even will unravel into being hellish and beyond imagination.
Brexit -- a group of angry people winning a fight -- easily inspires other groups of angry people to start a similar fight, empowered with the idea that they may win. That alone can trigger chain reactions. A nuclear explosion is not caused by one atom splitting, but by the impact of the first atom that splits causing multiple other atoms near it to split, and they in turn causing multiple atoms to split. The exponential increase in atoms splitting, and their combined energy is the bomb. That is how World War One started and, ironically how World War Two ended.
An example of how Brexit could lead to a nuclear war could be this:
Brexit in the UK causes Italy or France to have a similar referendum. Le Pen wins an election in France. Europe now has a fractured EU. The EU, for all its many awful faults, has prevented a war in Europe for longer than ever before. The EU is also a major force in suppressing Putin's military ambitions. European sanctions on Russia really hit the economy, and helped temper Russia's attacks on Ukraine (there is a reason bad guys always want a weaker European Union). Trump wins in the US. Trump becomes isolationist, which weakens NATO. He has already said he would not automatically honor NATO commitments in the face of a Russian attack on the Baltics.
With a fractured EU, and weakened NATO, Putin, facing an ongoing economic and social crisis in Russia, needs another foreign distraction around which to rally his people. He funds far right anti-EU activists in Latvia, who then create a reason for an uprising of the Russian Latvians in the East of the country (the EU border with Russia). Russia sends "peace keeping forces" and "aid lorries" into Latvia, as it did in Georgia, and in Ukraine. He cedes Eastern Latvia as he did Eastern Ukraine (Crimea has the same population as Latvia, by the way).
A divided Europe, with the leaders of France, Hungary, Poland, Slovakia, and others now pro-Russia, anti-EU, and funded by Putin, overrule calls for sanctions or a military response. NATO is slow to respond: Trump does not want America to be involved, and a large part of Europe is indifferent or blocking any action. Russia, seeing no real resistance to their actions, move further into Latvia, and then into Eastern Estonia and Lithuania. The Baltic States declare war on Russia and start to retaliate, as they have now been invaded so have no choice. Half of Europe sides with them, a few countries remain neutral, and a few side with Russia. Where does Turkey stand on this? How does ISIS respond to a new war in Europe? Who uses a nuclear weapon first?
This is just one Arch Duke Ferdinand scenario. The number of possible scenarios are infinite due to the massive complexity of the many moving parts. And of course many of them lead to nothing happening. But based on history we are due another period of destruction, and based on history all the indicators are that we are entering one.
It will come in ways we can't see coming, and will spin out of control so fast people won't be able to stop it. Historians will look back and make sense of it all and wonder how we could all have been so naïve. How could I sit in a nice café in London, writing this, without wanting to run away. How could people read it and make sarcastic and dismissive comments about how pro-Remain people should stop whining, and how we shouldn't blame everything on Brexit. Others will read this and sneer at me for saying America is in great shape, that Trump is a possible future Hitler (and yes, Godwin's Law. But my comparison is to another narcissistic, charismatic leader fanning flames of hatred until things spiral out of control). It's easy to jump to conclusions that oppose pessimistic predictions based on the weight of history and learning. Trump won against the other Republicans in debates by countering their claims by calling them names and dismissing them. It's an easy route but the wrong one.
Ignoring and mocking the experts, as people are doing around Brexit and Trump's campaign, is no different to ignoring a doctor who tells you to stop smoking, and then finding later you've developed incurable cancer. A little thing leads to an unstoppable destruction that could have been prevented if you'd listened and thought a bit. But people smoke, and people die from it. That is the way of the human.
We need to find a way to bridge from our closed groups to other closed groups, try to cross the ever widening social divides.
So I feel it's all inevitable. I don't know what it will be, but we are entering a bad phase. It will be unpleasant for those living through it, maybe even will unravel into being hellish and beyond imagination. Humans will come out the other side, recover and move on. The human race will be fine, changed, maybe better. But for those at the sharp end -- for the thousands of Turkish teachers who just got fired, for the Turkish journalists and lawyers in prison, for the Russian dissidents in gulags, for people lying wounded in French hospitals after terrorist attacks, for those yet to fall, this will be their Somme.
What can we do? Well, again, looking back, probably not much. The liberal intellectuals are always in the minority. See Clay Shirky's Twitter Storm on this point. The people who see that open societies, being nice to other people, not being racist, not fighting wars, is a better way to live, they generally end up losing these fights. They don't fight dirty. They are terrible at appealing to the populace. They are less violent, so end up in prisons, camps, and graves. We need to beware not to become divided (see: Labour party), we need to avoid getting lost in arguing through facts and logic, and counter the populist messages of passion and anger with our own similar messages. We need to understand and use social media.
We need to harness a different fear. Fear of another World War nearly stopped World War 2, but didn't. We need to avoid our own echo chambers. Trump and Putin supporters don't read the Guardian, so writing there is just reassuring our friends. We need to find a way to bridge from our closed groups to other closed groups, try to cross the ever widening social divides.
(Perhaps I'm just writing this so I can be remembered by history as one of the people who saw it coming.)
A version of this post originally appeared on Medium.
I have replied to some of the comments on this essay here.
Philip.paulsson12/14. They were tricksy with one of them.
You gon’ learn today.

Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed News
Philip.paulssonHeh nice.
“I’m always using creative solutions. You have to when you are outnumbered.”

Especially when it comes to taking them pretty much anywhere.
"Stella, Jude, and Xavier, our 2-year-olds, were stealing each other's snacks and water bottles," White told BuzzFeed News. "So, to me it was clear they needed some personal space."
Jake White

He partitioned the three car seats with large pieces of foam core and proceeded to enjoy the sweet silence that comes when three 2-year-olds are not screaming at each other.
"It is a good idea, and it works!" White said. "Car rides are peaceful when the dividers are in, and quite the opposite without them."
Jake White
Commenters called it "hilarious" and "genius," but White said it was just "a logical, simple fix."
"I have a background in fine art and emergency medicine," he said. "So it's natural for me to combine safety, creativity, and obviously peace when it comes to raising triplets."

"I'm always using creative solutions," he said. "You have to when you are outnumbered."
Jake White
Philip.paulssonThese are great.
Deadline for Entries
1st October 2016
© Copyright 2016 The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards
Philip.paulssonoof.
NEW HAVEN, CT—Noting its slumping posture, slack expression, and overall downcast appearance, sources confirmed Wednesday that a vessel for male sexual gratification was very sad today. “It definitely appears to be upset,” said sources, adding that the object that exists solely for men’s physical pleasure was presently sitting unmoving with a distant, empty stare. “It doesn’t look happy. What’s wrong with it? I don’t like the way it’s ignoring me.” At press time, sources had decided to go over to the sexual apparatus and tell it to smile.
Philip.paulssonLOL “I have to admit, Trump did look pretty presidential last night addressing the nation in the wake of a national disaster.”
After the tightest race since 2000, Donald Trump has been elected president of the United States. What do you think?
Philip.paulssonWoah, awesome.
A team of Stanford scientists are making great progress in their search for a cure for sickle cell disease, and they want to start human trials as soon as 2018. They used CRISPR to fix the mutated gene that causes the illness in human stem cells take...