“Maybe we can all get flippant and condescending about trigger warnings after we build a world where more than 3% of rapes lead to conviction, where we don’t shame and blame people for their own victimisation, where men don’t feel entitled to women’s bodies, and where millions of people aren’t moving through life yoked with massive, secret traumas.”
He told E! Online: “There is still so much to do. It’s not only even about legislation.
“It starts there by making it legally acceptable but socially there is so much prejudice and bias that is integrated into our culture and that’s going to be around for while.
“I hope one day in my lifetime we get to close the door on this group but there’s a lot more work to do.”
“Buzzfeed’s new video on female masculinity is pretty bad ass, asking people along the masculine-presenting-female perspectives to discuss how they see themselves, from butch to masculine of center to gender neutral. Also, what they see as the positives (less cat calling) and negatives (big boobs) of just being who they are and how society sees them. A much-needed conversation!”
While Walmart will probably find some way to recoup the losses that ends up punishing their employees, this is still kind of gratifying.
Wal-Mart Stores Inc.’s took a hit from the Affordable Care Act during the second-quarter. […]
Much of that was due to fewer customers paying for drugs with cash, which has higher margins, said Greg Foran, head of Wal-Mart’s sprawling U.S. operations. Fewer cash payments reflect “a marketplace shift in which more customers are now benefitting from greater drug insurance coverage,” he said, during a pre-recorded earnings conference call.
That's because one of the things that has to be included in policies now as a result of the law is prescription drug coverage. It's one of the ten essential health benefits that plans on the exchange, small group plans, and Medicaid and Medicare had to offer beginning January 1, 2014. Most employer-based insurance plans already provide it. People aren't having to fork over as much cash for their prescriptions now that they have insurance to help pay for them, and Walmart is feeling the pinch.
I wrote a post a while back about how some people are very good at getting away with doing intentionally creepy things by passing themselves off as just ~awkward~.
Recently, I noticed a particular pattern that plays out. While creeps can be any gender, there’s a gendered pattern by which creepy men get other men to help them be creepy:
A guy runs over the boundaries of women constantly
He makes them very uncomfortable and creeped out
But he doesn’t do that to guys, and
He doesn’t talk to guys about it in an unambiguous way, and
When he does it in front of guys, he finds a way to make it look deniable
And then some women complain to a man, maybe even a man in charge who is supposed to be responsible for preventing abuse in a space
and he has no idea what they are talking about, since he’s never the target or witness
And he’s had a lot of pleasant interactions with that guy
So he sympathizes with him, and thinks he must mean well but be have trouble with social skills
And then takes no action to get him to stop or to protect women
And so the group stays a place that is safe for predatory men, but not for the women they target
For example:
Mary, Jill, and Susan: Bill, Bob’s been making all of us really uncomfortable. He’s been sitting way too close, making innuendo after everything we say, and making excuses to touch us.
Bill: Wow, I’m surprised to hear that. Bob’s a nice guy, but he’s a little awkward. I’m sure he doesn’t mean anything by it. I’m not comfortable accusing him of something so serious from my position of authority.
What went wrong here?
Bill assumed that, if Bob was actually doing something wrong, he would have noticed.
Bill didn’t think he needed to listen to the women who were telling him about Bob’s creepy actions. He didn’t take seriously the possibility that they were right.
Bill assumed that women who were uncomfortable with Bob must be at fault; that they must be judging him too harshly or not understanding his awkwardness
Bill told women that he didn’t think that several women complaining about a guy was sufficient reason to think something was wrong
Bill assumed that innocently awkward men should not be confronted about inadvertantly creepy things they do, but rather women should shut up and let them be creepy
A rule of thumb for men:
If several women come to you saying that a man is being creepy towards them, assume that they are seeing something you aren’t
Listen to them about what they tell you
If you like the guy and have no idea what they’re talking about, that means that what he is doing is *not* innocent awkwardness.
If it was innocent awkwardness, he wouldn’t know how to hide it from other men
Men who are actually just awkward and bad at understanding boundaries also make *other men* uncomfortable
If a man is only making women uncomfortable but not men, that probably means he’s doing it on purpose
Take that possibility seriously, and listen to what women tell you about men
tl;dr If you are a man, other men in your circle who are nice to you are creepy towards women. Don’t assume that if something was wrong that you would have noticed; creepy men are good at finding the lines of what other men will tolerate. Listen to women. They know better than you do whether a man is being creepy and threatening towards women; if they think something is wrong, listen and find out why. Don’t tolerate give predatory dudes who are nice to you cover to keep hurting women.
It feels so real and heavy and substantial and holy crap, y’all, after years of work and doubt it’s actually done. Well, not done done because the book tour starts in four weeks, but still. And I heard Victor in the other room leafing through it and laughing out loud. And that man doesn’t laugh out loud. Best review ever.
PS. You’re in this book. Be prepared. (It’s all good though.)
PPS. Did you sign up for your free, autographed bookplate? Because they’re going fast. And I’m giving away a copy on that same post so leave a comment?
PPPS. Thank you. I would never have finished this without your support. I hope to God you like it.
““Once you’ve realized that you’re living in a world that believes women are “less than” in every imaginable way, one of the things that can be most frustrating is that very few men get it. You want the people in your life, the men you care about, to understand the awful toll it can take on you. Operating in a world that sees you as less than fully human can be soul crushing— but it’s also incredibly lonely. When you speak up about any sense of unfairness or injustice, you’re told that you’re overreacting, you’re too angry, too silly— shut up already. It takes a tremendous amount of fortitude to be able to live in this world as a woman, let alone a woman who wants things to change.””
What was so bad about Stephanie’s outfit that she was being punished for it? Her exposed collarbone. Her mother was called to the school but even after giving her daughter a scarf, the outfit was still deemed inappropriate.
“Melissa McCarthy, everyone’s favorite comedic actress-turned-fashion designer, has become an outspoken advocate for plus-size shoppers, calling out the industry for neglecting shoppers and keeping the clothes “hidden by the tire section.”
Now, McCarthy has rightly taken a jab at the term “plus size” altogether, saying it’s an inherently problematic concept that devalues women. The actress, who recently debuted her own line, told Refinery 29:
“You’re taking your biggest category of people and telling them, ‘You’re not really worthy.’”
She’s not exaggerating: “Plus size” typically refers to size 14 and above, which now applies to 67% of women in the United States. That makes plus-size clothing a $17.5 billion industry. As industry analyst Tamara Sender wrote in the Business of Fashion, “Plus-size consumers can no longer be considered a minority or a niche demographic.”
Model Stefania Ferrario started a campaign called #DropThePlus to jettison the term, pointing out that modifiers like “plus” only serve to separate out bigger women and cast smaller women as the norm. Models Robyn Lawley, Tyra Banks and Ashley Grahamhave allexpressed the same sentiment.
Now McCarthy is taking up the cause.
“I just don’t get why we always have to group everything into a good or bad, right or wrong category. I just think, if you’re going to make women’s clothing, make women’s clothing. Designers that put everyone in categories are over-complicating something that should be easy,” she told Refinery29.”
YouGov asked 1632 people to plot themselves on a Kinsey scale of sexuality, from 0 (exclusively heterosexual) to 6 (exclusively homosexual).
Among the population as a whole, 72% of adults chose 0 (exclusively heterosexual) – with just 23% differing.
4% ranked themselves as exclusively homosexual, with 19% identifying as somewhere on the spectrum in between the two.
However, among 18-24 year olds – who are likely to have grown up in a more accepting environment – the figures are shockingly different.
Just 46% of young people would rank themselves as 0 (exclusively heterosexual) – compared to 49% who picked something else.
However, the sharp increase is not due to a much greater proportion of people who are exclusively gay -with just 6% identifying as exclusively homosexual.
Rather, 43% of people identify themselves as somewhere between exclusively homosexual and exclusively heterosexual – showing people increasingly see sexuality in a less polarised way.”
Dyspraxia, a condition that affects a child’s motor functions, can sometimes affect a child’s ability to enunciate, making it difficult for them to communicate. That was the case for Josh Dunlap’s son, Sawyer, who recently shared a story on Facebook with James Gunn, director of Guardians of the Galaxy. In the story, he says that his son is affected with this condition, but after watching Guardians, he began to notice a few positive changes in his son’s behavior. More than that, he noticed that Sawyer latched onto a specific character whose odd manner of speech helped him communicate better: Groot.
In the full Facebook post, Dunlap said:
He began to mimic him and he would use the word “Bah” for a lot, but after he saw the film, he would change the tone in which he said it to convey a different meaning. He would also start saying Groot for many things as well.
From there, they’ve moved on to speech classes, and he’s been slowly getting better at communicating. Gunn responded in a comment, saying:
I have many friends who get a lot of negative messages online – I’m very grateful for the huge, vast majority of positive and kind people who follow me here, on Twitter, and Instagram. I get to hear stories like this, and then read all the amazing comments [below]. Truly wonderful.
Saving the galaxy, one child at a time. You go, Groot.
So the boyfriend and I were just using two different devices, and I told him that Seanan was going to make us start watching this show too, and he came, and was looking at exactly this post on his device.
“This is our fifth press briefing since midnight, and obviously there’s one story that going dominating news around the world for the next few days, and it would be easy to think that President Bartlet, Joshua Lyman, and Stephanie Abbott were the only people who were victims of a gun crime last night. They weren’t. Mark Davis and Sheila Evans of Philadelphia were killed by a gun last night. He was a biology teacher and she was a nursing student. Tina Bishop and Belinda Larkin were killed with a gun last night. They were twelve. There were 36 homicides last night. 480 sexual assaults, 3,411 robberies, 3,685 aggravated assaults, all at gunpoint. And if anyone thinks those crimes could have been prevented if the victims themselves had been carrying guns, I’d only remind you that the President of the United States was shot last night while surrounded by the best-trained armed guards in the history of the world.“ [and another quote for fun]
Congratulations, you have an argument against a Black Widow movie. Now let me tell you why that argument doesn’t really work.
Okay, but she wasn’t really well known to the general public before the movies, so it’s probably best to keep her in a supporting role. It’s just too risky otherwise.
*points to Guardians of the Galaxy*
*also points to Antman, which absolutely no one was clamoring for*
Okay, but she’s too well known now. She’s been in several movies and is very important in the team movies. That’s enough, isn’t it? Give other characters a chance.
*points to three Iron Man movies, soon-to-be three Captain America movies, soon-to-be three Thor movies, and two unsuccessful Hulk movies*
*also points to the fact that in one of those movies an important, character developing scene for her got cut because it “slowed things down” and that will always be considered an acceptable loss until there’s a movie about her and her development specifically*
Okay, but now you’re getting a Captain Marvel movie and a Wonder Woman movie.
*points to twenty million superhero movies starring dudes*
*also points out that lady characters are not interchangeable and that a Black Widow movie would not be the same kind of movie as a Captain Marvel one*
Okay, but she doesn’t have any powers, and that’s not very interesting for a superhero movie.
*points to Batman and his gazillion movies*
*also points to James Bond, Bourne movies, and other popular spy thriller franchises*
Okay, but they follow a strict timeline, so it wouldn’t make sense to do another origin movie for an established character.
*points to her current successful comic run that has nothing to do with her origins but still somehow manages to find interesting stories to tell about her, like, how do they even do it*
Now seems like a good time to add this one…
Okay, but Marvel has a GRAND MASTER PLAN, and they can’t just change it, because plans NEVER change, okay, and it will throw everything off or result in a rush job of a movie.
*points to Spider-Man and laughs hysterically because of fucking course*
In case anybody was wondering, Donald Trump just released his first official plan for his presidency on Sunday, 8/15, and HOLY SHIT is it scary
To sum up this racist fuckery he calls a plan for office:
•He intends to have the Mexican Government pay for a wall between the US and Mexico
•He has openly said that children should not be spared amnesty. He plans on shipping entire families back to Mexico
•He demands “mandatory incarceration and deportation” of any undocumented immigrants who are caught on US soil
•He plans on tripling immigration officers at the boarder
•He wants to make it much, much harder for Mexicans to gain American citizenship, even for those who were already living in the US
•He says that, “only the good ones” should be allowed to stay in the US or gain citizenship. (He has not defined the use of the word “good” by the way)
•I know I already said this but HE LITERALLY PLANS ON HAVING THE MEXICAN GOVERNMENT BUILD THE UNITED STAES A FREE WALL??? •He wants to change the 14th amendment to the constitution so that all children born to illegal immigrants will be classified as illegal as soon as they are born.
This is the same guy who, up until recently, didn’t even have a tab on his website for his plans for office.
This is the same guy who said on national TV that Megyn Kelly was “bleeding out of her wherever” while questioning him at the most recent debate.
This is the same guy that gave out a US senators personal phone number on national TV
This is the same guy who called a veteran, US senator, and national war hero a, “loser” because he, “doesn’t like people who got captured”.
And this is the same exact guy who announced his campaign for President of The United States Of America by calling all Mexicans drug users and rapists.
Donald Trump claims that he has a lot of respect for Mexico and their people, but he says this only so he can fall back on it when confronted about his prejudice.
He claims he has had thousands of migrant workers working for his company, and that he understands and sympathizes with them because of this. And yet he fails to recognize how essential, devalued, and underpaid migrant workers truly are.
He claims that he, “doesn’t mind if there’s a great big door in the wall”, and yet his plan is designed to make it as difficult as possible to gain an American citizenship.
The truth is, Donald trump hates Mexicans. He hates them with every fiber in his being
Donald Trump hates Mexicans to the point where he has sworn to use the power associated with being President of the United States to fulfill his own fucked up prejudice against the Mexican people.
And that makes me incredibly angry.
So… ya know what?
Fuck you Donald Trump. Fuck your plans for office, and fuck your incredibly fucked up beliefs. You don’t deserve the most powerful position in the world. You would find a way to abuse that much power and somehow turn it into a joke. America does not need a child who thrives on insults and never considers himself wrong as its’ president. America does not need a racist fuck making decisions that will affect millions of Americans, and we do not need someone who’s ego and arrogance will overpower his ability to be a formal representative of the United States of America.
Donald Trump, you are not going to make this country great again. You are going to turn this country into a mockery in front of the entire world.
After killing a black teenager earlier in the afternoon, police gather by the dozen at the scene shortly before sunset and illegally use tear gas on peaceful protesters without warning. They shoot the gas indiscriminately, gassing homes, churches, and young children in the process.
“For example, when an obvious innocent sits down with three experienced card sharpers and says ‘How do you play this game, then?’, someone is about to be shaken down until their teeth fall out.”
“Seventeen trans women are known to have been murdered in the United States this year alone – fifteen of whom were trans women of colour – leading activists to describe the the situation as “an epidemic of anti-trans violence”.
Speaking to Good Morning America, the Orange Is The New Black actress said: “We in the transgender community right now are reeling.”
Voicing her concern over the growing number of trans related crimes, she declared: “It really is a state of emergency.
“Your life should not be in danger simply for being who you are,” she added.
“I think the reasons why trans women experience so much violence has to do with employment, housing, health care etc., so we need to make sure that trans lives matter,” she added
Three trans women were reportedly murdered last week alone – bringing the total number of those killed in the US this year to 16 so far – though as there is little official monitoring, this may be a low estimate.
An official White House petition says: “Since January 9, 2015, [now sixteen] transgender women, mostly women of colour, have lost their lives due to hate and transphobia.
“With such a high death toll, something must be done to raise awareness and end the senseless killings of a targeted, vulnerable community.”
E-cigarettes are around 95% less harmful than traditional tobacco cigarettes, according to a new study from Britain’s Department of Health. It is the first time public health officials have asserted that vaping, though not risk-free, definitively causes less harm than smoking.
According to the study, nearly all of the 2.6 million adults who vape in Britain are current or former smokers using e-cigarettes to help them quit. Only a small fraction are teenagers.
The chemicals that contribute to smoking-related diseases such as cancer are largely absent in e-cigarettes. “The problem is people increasingly think they are at least as harmful, and this may be keeping millions of smokers from quitting,” said Kevin Fenton, director of health and wellbeing at Public Health England, which conducted the research.
The study also crucially points out that there is no evidence supporting the view that e-cigarettes are a “gateway” to smoking tobacco, for adults and minors. Only 2% of young people in Britain vape regularly.
Moreover, e-cigarettes could help eliminate health problems in poorer areas, where smoking tobacco is more prevalent. “E-cigarettes could be a game changer in public health in particular by reducing the enormous health inequalities caused by smoking,” said Ann McNeill, one of the study’s authors and a professor at King’s College London.
While Walmart will probably find some way to recoup the losses that ends up punishing their employees, this is still kind of gratifying.
Super Opinionated.
