i worry that i am imagining that my mother abused me because i know she loves me. but my suicidal thoughts increase every time i’m around her. i don’t know how to escape this.
we do this to people when we tell them “they didn’t love you, because they abused you”; we do this when we draw a stark black line between love and abuse and say ne’er the twain shall meet, instead of accepting that the two things are often wound around each other like two sick strands of ivy, that love isn’t a golden pure thing that burns away all the horrors but often just the engine which drives them; we do this to people and they hear the inverse: “you cannot have been abused, because i love you”; and we give freedom to abusers because they can say “i love him, i love her, so how can i be abusing them?”
what my mother feels for me is love; what she did was abuse. neither of those things is a lie.
Just remember, that even if you are willing to commit to helping, it doesn't mean that the person you're critiquing wants or needs your help.
“
This is some advice I got from a priest mentor of mine years back. He said: ‘Here’s the rule, the airtight rule. Criticize somebody precisely in the measure that you are willing to help him or her deal with the problem you’re raising.’
The point is that if you are 100% willing to commit yourself to helping the person deal with the problem you’re raising, off you go. Critique ‘til the cows come home.
If you’re totally unwilling to take even one little step to help the person deal with the problem, then keep your mouth shut. Don’t say anything.
Maybe a little bit of commitment? Maybe a little bit of critique.
That has never left my mind, that little piece of advice. When I feel the urge to criticize someone, ‘alright Barron, are you willing to commit yourself to helping him deal with his problems?’ If not, keep your mouth shut.
author: Joe Hill
name: Jen
average rating: 3.79
book published: 2015
rating: 5
read at: 2015/10/20
date added: 2015/10/20
shelves:
review: I'm giving this five stars, but with a caveat. It's a great performance, but do not try to listen to this without having read the books first. It's a great audio-drama, this is not an "audiobook." The bridging narration is somewhat intrusive, and at times gives away plot points not yet covered in the story.
So, tonight, my psychotic cat decided to join me out on my balcony when I was hanging up some laundry to dry. Side note: the boyfriend is always telling me to close the screen door, and I always ignore him, because I've accidentally closed the glass door and locked myself out on the balcony. Twice. So SuperButtButt jumps out the door, runs around the balcony twice (with me chasing her, and then jumps onto the railing, and onto the roof/awning over the building's backdoor, and then down onto my neighbor's balcony. This was after 9:30, and her lights were dark, so I didn't want to knock on her door and wake her. Eventually hit on the idea of tossing cat treats over the roof and into the neighbor's balcony. SuperButtButt suddenly realized she could go back the way she came. Had a bad moment when I thought she was going to jump from the gable to the window on the third floor, but tossing more treats encouraged her to come my way. So, I hope my neighbors appreciate me saving them from Miss SuperButtButt's incessant whinging.
Worst waste of innuendo in a lede I've ever seen. Awesome idea, though.
Ending the drought in the West will require rain—not too much rain—and smarter ways to collect and store that water. But something else that can keep things moist? Believe it or not: Beavers.
oh my god so i was waiting at the bus stop with two men and one other woman and this guy was waiting at the stoplight right in front of us and he goes “hey beautiful” to the woman aND SHE GIVES HIM THIS GENTLE SMILE AND GOES “That’ll do, pig, that’ll do.”
“A study on masculinity and aggression from the University of South Florida found that innocuous – yet feminine – tasks could produce profound anxiety in men. As part of the study, a group of men were asked to perform a stereotypically feminine act – braiding hair in this case - while a control group braided rope. Following the act, the men were given the option to either solve a puzzle or punch a heavy bag. Not surprisingly, the men who performed the task that threatened their masculinity were far more likely to punch the bag; again, violence serving as a way to reestablish their masculine identity. A follow-up had both groups punch the bag after braiding either hair or rope; the men who braided the hair punched the bag much harder. A third experiment, all the participants braided hair, but were split into two groups: those who got to punch the bag afterwards and those who didn’t. The men who were prevented from punching the bag started to show acute signs of anxiety and distress from not being able to reconfirm their masculinity.”
I have so many feels about Hardison. Hardison, who thought “it was kind of cool being on the same side” when nobody else would admit it. Who painted that big, ugly picture as a joke, but carted it around everywhere they ended up moving like a family heirloom. Who worked so hard to build them an office that functioned like a home everywhere that they went - bought a building, bought an entire fucking brewery (and ran the damn thing, with fair hiring practices and, after a few missteps, fairly good beer no matter what Eliot says) to give them space to work. Who kept Nate’s secrets.
I think what chafes me most about the show is how much Hardison gave and gave and gave for that crew, and how much Nate took without ever giving back. Eliot was mean the way a big brother snaps or a kid pulls their crush’s pigtails (I like to think somewhere in between). Nate was cruel in his dismissiveness and irrational expectations, the way he shut down Hardison every time he showed too much pride - like a kid showing off and hoping to be praised by dad and getting chewed out instead. Because he was just trying to build a family all along. I think he got a taste of that, growing up, was lucky enough to stumble into his Nana’s care - but he never had a normal family, and he was always the odd man out at school, the nerd, the kid who finished his work before the rest of the class had even written the names on the page and acted out, started stealing, because he was just so damn bored. Kids can be so cruel and he found his validation online, sometimes through games and sometimes through the people who hired him to steal information or money.
Still, better than any of them anymore, Hardison is the one who knows what family actually looks like. Eliot drowned the man who had a normal family in blood a decade or more ago. Nate did his best to forget when he lost his own. Parker never had one. Sophie won’t tell, but girls like her don’t come out of good places. Hardison saw it and for a little while he had it, unconventional but all his. He’s just trying to create a new one for himself by giving them everything he can: his money, his designer homes, his grocery delivery orders with everyone’s favorites (just as long as Eliot cooks it), his carefully crafted briefings, his mind - the smartest one anyone of them has ever known. I always feel like he didn’t really succeed until Nate and Sophie left. Nate’s crew, Hardison’s family.
Queen Hatshepsut of Ancient Egypt. She has a lovely smile for someone who’s been dead for thousands of years.
she wasn’t a queen. she was a pharaoh and wanted to be referred to as such. she even had her statues modeled after the male pharaoh’s statues to state her dominance and authority. she was actually one of the most successful pharaohs in all of ancient egyptian history and she reigned longer than any other woman in power in egypt.
damn no wonder she died and smiled for a trillion years afterwards
The fact that we know about her is marvelous.
the next Pharaoh after her Tuthmosis III tried to erase Hatshepsut out of history ,chiseled her name off her monuments ,covered the text on her obelisks with stone,knocked down and defaced her statues .
she was even left off the list of pharaohs ..talk about some patriarchy bullshit
her name was lost for a couple of millennia, her body was found in a unmarked grave in early twentieth century
sad part is in Egyptian belief is if your are forgotten in the living world you don’t exist in the afterlife,so he was trying to kill her even in death
My best friend throwing down some herstory. A+ commentary
She wore a fake beard, you guys. She was the fucking boss.
If we remember her now does that save her from an awful afterlife?
I’m just picturing the Kemetic afterlife. All the Pharaohs are hanging out in some kind of swanky club, drinking and congratulating each other on being bros.
The doors slam open and Hatshepsut strides in, glorious, robes swirling, rocking the fake beard and the insane amounts of wealth and power. “Miss me, bitches?”
Then she punches Tuthmosis III straight in the dick.
Fox News and a few other wingnuts have been leveling complaints in regarding to Sam Wilson’s Captain America leaning too far to the left and taking on villains whose goals are well in tune with the ultra-conservative agenda…
but if you think about it, Cap has almost always been portrayed as a progressive, left-winger.
During Kirby’s awesome run, he had Cap relocated to Harlem, fighting for civil rights alongside Falcon and The Black Panther.
During Steve Englehart tenure, Cap took on the evil Secret Empire, only to discover that this nefarious group was run by a poorly-veiled representation of Richard Nixon.
Millar’s Civil War event was in many ways a metaphor for the reactive hysteria in the wake of the 9/11 attacks on America; and Cap definitely took the left-leaning position in the conflict.
More recently, Ed Brubaker had Cap take on representational stand-ins for Blackwater Securities, as well as the Tea Party (the later being edited out after complaints filed by the Teabaggers themselves).
The Ruso Brother’s sequel to the Captain America movie was an all out indictment of the Patriot Act.
So it actually makes perfect sense for Nick Spencer to have Cap standing in on a float at a LBTG+ pride rally as well as getting set to take down a racist minuteman style militia spouting venom that is all but verbatim lifted from Donald Trump’s stump speeches.
The more things change, the more they stay the same. Cap started off a New Deal Democrat and he’s progressively moved to the left ever since. Spencer isn’t infusing his own political ideology into the current Captain America run, he’s simply continuing a well-established, preexisting trend.
To quote a friend-of-a-friend, “So basically what I’m getting from this is that the rhetoric of neofascist white supremacist comic book supervillains is so indistinguishable from modern right-wing media rhetoric that [the modern right-wing media] think this is an attack on them.”
This is a great read on the newest Faux News controversy.
its so weird how ur gender supposedly dictates which shapes and textures of fuckening cloth u are permitted to drape over ur flesh prison
I like to imagine that a demon who is trapped in their human vessel is saying this
demon: and tbh wtf is up with hair like??? some genders have to have longer strands of dead proteins emitting from their scalps but other genders have to keep their protein strands short??? weird shit
possessed person: yes the gender binary is stupid and arbitrary can we be quiet now
demon: also this whole makeup thing is suspect as hell like why cant all humans put pigment all over their oral openings why would that be an issue
possessed person: craig please i am trying to sleep
do you want to see a movie where you have no idea what is going on for the first forty-five minutes? jupiter ascending is the film for you! other highlights include:
a ten minute long spaceship fight with no context or purpose, which destroys a city. “no one will remember” channing tatum growls as they leave the city, as if youtube does not exist
“here’s a latke for you, bitch”
someone using a menstrual pad as a bandage by slapping the sticky part onto the wound, leaving the actual blood-absorbing part just kind of…waving around
actors chewing the scenery so hard i’m surprised beautifully over-constructed bits of space metal aren’t just falling out of their mouths
a man trying to shoot thousands of bees in the middle of a cornfield
a gun that makes dog noises. it barks. the gun barks.
oedipus complexes so beautifully twisted and terrible that you will spend half the movie mouthing “oh my god” to yourself
related to that, the climactic line of the movie is “i’m not your damn mother,” so take that as you will
a breathtakingly gorgeous and complex universe used as a background for a romance between woman and a man. granted, the man is a wolf angel. but still.
I CREATE LIVES……………….
[whispers] and destroy them
no i’m sorry i have to keep going
“bees can sense royalty”
mila kunis having the powerful realization partway through that she is a furry, an epiphany that changes her life
“i love dogs” she whispers, eyes wide
SPACE BUREAUCRACY. A MONTAGE THAT IS JUST SPACE BUREAUCRACY. THEY FILL OUT SPACE FORMS. IN SPACE.
“bees can sense royalty”
channing tatum, shirtless in the void of space
a room FILLED WITH CANDLES
soylent green nectar…….is…………….peeeeoplllle
“bees can sense royalty”
sean bean’s apparent daughter, who shows up onscreen for a minute and a half, leaves to get supplies for dinner, and never comes back
yeah sean bean is in this too i didn’t believe it either
“bees can sense royalty”
a space wedding. it’s just like an earth wedding. BUT IN SPACE
mila kunis’ character’s name is jupiter
yes i am dead serious about this
she spends most of the movie falling
they really should have called it “jupiter descending” because that’s all she does
