In addition, keep in mind that many autistics, in particular Asperger's types, are very, very, very vested in factual accuracy. They are generally utterly factual in their communications, and desire, need, and sometimes demand, that same utter factual accuracy from the world around them. So there's a beautiful irony here, that autistics are statistically more likely to be telling the truth at any given time, but because of their behaviors, they are statistically more likely to be accused of lying, deception, and sneakiness.
Love when there are “how to tell if someone is lying/manipulating you” posts on my dash and 90% of them are things I do as an autistic person
Stuff like not making eye contact, wringing my hands, having a closed-off posture, having to control the tone of my voice, preferring to talk over the Internet… The whole damn list is just a huge presumption that if you don’t act “normal” then you’re lying
Like… Buddy. My whole childhood I got in trouble for things I didn’t do because I couldn’t make eye contact and I laughed at inappropriate times because that’s how my body decided to deal with fear. It wasn’t the greatest tbh
Although can we have a thing where a ~great detective~ accuses someone of being a murderer based on body language during an interrogation and then they’re like “I’m autistic, you fuck. This is just what I do! …Nice work being ableist and letting the real killer get away btw”
^^^This is so important. And as a criminologist, let me also add that body language is actually a TERRIBLE indicator of truth telling & deception.
Unfortunately, all of the research shows that using nonverbal behavior when trying to detect deception is not very useful.
If you doubt that claim, please see what all of the leading experts on the topic have to say (see Science News).
And using technology to detect deception isn’t as useful as people think it is (see ScienceDaily Report).
Why is it so difficult to detect deception by watching a person’s nonverbal behavior?
A detailed explanation is provided below or you can skip ahead to the next page and read why it is even more difficult to detect deception by a loved one (next page, catching lovers lying).
To begin with, there is some truth to the idea that people display or “leak” their genuine feelings when lying. But, these genuine displays of emotion—called “micro expressions"—last only a fraction of a second. As such, these expressions are too brief to be of much practical use (see facial expression test).
Furthermore, the nonverbal cues identified represent “on average” what might happen when studying many individuals rather than identifying what any specific individual is likely to do.
For instance, imagine that you have a group of 1000 men and a group of 1000 women, and you know that, on average, the men are 2 inches taller than the women. Now, say you find out that someone is 5’9”. Based on that information alone, can you tell with any certainty, if the individual in question is a man or a woman?
Why not?
The problem with “averages” is that it is difficult to use the information obtained from a large group to make claims back to any specific individual without a lot of other information. After all, there are tall women, short men and everything in-between. So, knowing someone’s height, by itself, does not really help solve the problem of trying to figure out if any given individual is a man or a woman (see Truth, Lies and Romance—provides a detailed example of this type of problem).
Second, the nonverbal cues that have been found are based on small statistical patterns—they are not strong, informative (diagnostic) differences.
This time, pretend that you have a large group of men and a large group of women. But, now the average height difference between the two groups is very small—say less than an half an inch. That half an inch may still be a statistical difference, but because the difference is so small, it is even less useful when trying to guess someone’s sex just by knowing how tall they are.
This is the same problem that occurs when using nonverbal cues to detect deception. The cues represent small, statistical differences between two groups rather information that can be used the other way around; that is, to distinguish liars from ts.
For example, some studies show that liars blink a few more times on average than truth-tellers (and not every study shows this). Now, say you notice that someone blinks several times while talking to you? Are they telling the truth or not? Who knows? To begin with, both liars and truth-tellers blink when talking (you are probably blinking right now)… And some liars rarely blink while some truth-tellers blink a lot… The graphs below show why the differences obtain are of little use when trying to detect deception…
Differences in Blinking Between Truth-tellers and Liars
So, in any given situation anything might happen, and the nonverbal cues that have been found ONLY emerge when looking at group averages.
Long story short, because only small statistical differences in detection cues have been discovered. It is very difficult to identify group members (liars versus truth-tellers) based on the cues that have been identified.
Most people, however, do not believe this claim.
Most people believe that nonverbal behavior can be used to detect deception. But, all the research shows that people no better than “flipping a coin” when trying to detect deception, especially when it comes to love and romance (see Miller & Stiff).
The nonverbal cues that have been identified are not useful because truth-tellers and liars are more similar in their behavior than they are different. And there are many reasons why the nonverbal differences identified are so small and of little practical use (see Fielder & Walka; McCornack).
First, many of the lies that people tell come naturally with no planning, thought, or effort. Lying is often automatic and effortless. Most people are not even aware of the fact that they are lying when they do it. Deception can come across as being “natural” because for many people it is natural.
Second, even if there is some stress or anxiety present when people lie—people typically tell the same lies over and over. Accordingly, people become very comfortable with their lies as time passes. In fact, people tell the same lies so often that they actually begin to believe what they are saying.
Finally, telling the truth can sometimes be just as difficult and stressful than lying. Have you ever been agitated, confused, anxious, or upset while trying to tell the truth only to have people doubt what you are saying? “High stake” situations are stressful for both liars as well as truth-tellers. In such situations, both liars and truth-tellers can get nervous and give off the appearance of telling a lie.
Or think about the problem this way: if detecting deception were so easy, everyone would do it and there would a lot few problems. Affairs, crime, and fraud are only possible because people, even trained professionals, have a difficult time detecting deception with any degree of success.
And, for the most part, people are even worse at spotting lies when dealing with someone they love… (source)
Sorry for the long response, this just NEEDS to be said & known. I’m very sorry this happens to you @medicationmambo bc it absolutely should NOT *hugs*
It has sort of fascinated me, in the many places I have seen this article posted, and even in the comments on the article itself, there are two constants:
1) Women telling their stories of being ignored by doctors when they were in pain, sometimes to catastrophic effect, and finding community and strength from each other’s shared experiences and
2) Dudes – always fucking dudes, especially white dudes – coming in to the conversation to tell those women, it doesn’t matter where, whether it’s on Facebook or Tumblr or wherever, that there must have been some other reason that the doctor didn’t take them seriously. In other words, “honey, you’re making it all up.”
Which is exactly the point of the article itself.
And they are clueless about exactly what they sound like.
So if you’re thinking about commenting on an article like this, and you’re a dude, and you want to give some “reasons why” this might happen, even if you’re trying to think through solutions or talk through solutions, allow me to give you some helpful hints:
Don’t
Please, just Shut Up
Stay in your lane, the ladies are talking unless
Please, handle your fucking bros, because we are tired of them, and if you really want to be an ally, that’s how you can.
So, The Child has a box of pretend food that he’s recently rediscovered, and he’s become particularly enamored of a hollow plastic corn cob. He takes it to bath and likes to squeeze it underwater so it draws water in, which he can squirt out with much hilarity.
The thing is
This corn also has a personality, apparently, and it’s more than a little uncooperative and prone to pulling pranks, although The Child claims the corn does what he tells it.
Mostly.
And I keep thinking…
I keep thinking…The Child has somehow acquired a bit of @seananmcguire‘s Corn, and this is how The Corn spreads, and how new manifestations of The Corn choose their own Birthday Children–and The Child’s birthday is next week.
I really don’t wanna have to fight an immature eldritch abomination to keep my kid from being spirited off to an existence in the center of an inimical Unending.
I just want it to be Wednesday.
I really don’t wanna have to fight an immature eldritch abomination
to keep my kid from being spirited off to an existence in the center of
an inimical Unending.
if you are ever lost alone in the woods, just say that some popular fictional character is a lesbian and suddenly you’ll be surrounded by people trying to prove you otherwise
She had to kill Mal for his pants to take his power.
We’ve found a way to get through this week: a picture of Kaylee Frye dressed as Cap’n Mal!
Yeah yeah fine it’s actually Jewel Staite cameoing as a cosplayer on Alan Tudyk’s webseries Con Man, but in our minds Kaylee is the captain of her own ship now, and she’s stopping into a port to visit her good friend Wash, to whom nothing bad has ever happened.
An Alabama judge has an alternative to paying fines with money: Paying them with blood.
In the courtroom of Judge Marvin Wiggins, a circuit judge in Marion, Alabama, broke defendants can get a $100 credit toward their owed fine by heading to the mobile blood bank parked outside and donating a pint of a blood. A receipt from the blood bank also allows offenders to go home that day.
According to the New York Times, "For those who had no money or did not want to give blood, the judge concluded: 'The sheriff has enough handcuffs.'"
This crude variation on modern-day debtor's prisons violates courtroom principles as well as the general guidelines surrounding blood donation. Many have found this to be a bizarre, invasive, and inappropriate way of managing nonpayment. According to the Times:
On Monday, the Southern Poverty Law Center filed an ethics complaint against Judge Wiggins, saying he had committed “a violation of bodily integrity.” The group also objected to the hearing beyond the matter of blood collection, calling the entire proceeding unconstitutional.
Payment-due hearings like this one are part of a new initiative by Alabama’s struggling courts to raise money by aggressively pursuing outstanding fines, restitution, court costs and lawyer fees. Many of those whose payments are sought in these hearings have been found at one point to be indigent, yet their financial situations often are not considered when they are summoned for outstanding payments.
Such hearings are common not only in Alabama but in other states across the nation, as well. But the blood donation discount is unique.
Carl Crocker, the man who taped the judge discussing the arrangement, was in court because of payment owed. He said that he witnessed an "older man pass out after his blood was taken." He also stated that he felt uncomfortable with the trade that the court was offering.
Poverty is expensive in a lot of ways—not being able to afford healthier foods because they're more expensive, let alone buy foods in bulk; having a car that sucks gas or breaks down a lot; paying late fees because you're always juggling bills you can't quite pay. Even getting access to your own money can cost a lot. And over the past week many people using RushCard, a prepaid debit card marketed to low-income people who don't use banks, haven't been able to get access to their own money at all.
The complaints from users started rolling in early last week—cards weren’t working, balances were erroneously listed as zero. Many who called customer service weren’t able to get through, some who did connect were told their accounts couldn’t be found. Others said that paychecks, which they have direct deposited onto their cards, hadn’t shown up on time. For just about anyone, this scenario sounds like a nightmare. But for those who are already pinching pennies, missed or late paychecks and denied account access can be disastrous—leading them to take out loans of last resort, like those made by payday lenders, or, failing that, leaving them without money to pay rent, buy groceries, or put gas in their cars, which in turn can make it hard to get to work, which in turn can lead to being fired.
RushCard, which was started by hip-hop magnate Russell Simmons, blames the problems on its move to a new processing company, assures customers their money is safe, and is offering a fee holiday for several months (which can add up, since customers pay up to $1.00 per transaction). But none of that helps people who don't have the money to buy food or pay the bills because their debit card is malfunctioning:
In order to afford the gas she needs to drive to work this week, Betzy O. had to resort to searching for all the loose change in her house and taking it to a Coinstar machine. She netted $13. [...]
Her job is 35 minutes away from where she lives and she can’t call out, so she has to find money to cover the gas she needs to get there. She’s also going to school studying fashion and needs to buy materials for her projects. “When I need something, I need it now,” she said. “I’m pretty screwed on project stuff.” She lives with her mother, who covers most bills, but her mother didn’t get paid until Friday, leaving the both of them without any cash for nearly a week. Betzy also has three pets, all of whom have gone hungry since she lost access to her account.
ugh, like there is LITERALLY no canonical evidence for the ~han solo: space womanizer~ head canon. like, when he first meets the ONE female character in the entire series that he interacts with he is GROUCHY and SHOUTY at her, not sauve and dashing. she thinks he is a tool and tells him this multiple times. not really smooth and charming.
he then takes to following her around on Hoth and practically pulling her pigtails asking ” DO YOU LIKE ME? YES/NO? (PLS SAY YES)” with hearts in his eyes. (Chewie probably had to throw out like a HALF DOZEN old notebooks that were filled with awful power ballads/poetry/odes to her and “Mr. Han Organa” written in different fonts)
when it comes to the iconic ‘i know’ in response to Leia’s proclamation of love, Ford has stated that it’s out of PURE CONCERN for HER FEELINGS (“the point is that I’m not worried about myself anymore, I’m worried about her” - DIRECT QUOTE), it was NOT a ‘boss’ move or ‘so swagtastic it hurts’ it was an apology that he couldn’t be there for her, it was an attempt to make her smile, to make it hurt less than if he had said the words too and then was forced to leave her. (not that he would have been much help; remember that han solo spends the majority of the 3rd film mostly blind and feeble, unable to take care of himself and generally getting in the way while Leia Gets Shit Done)
when he does say the words, it’s with the most adoring and awestruck expression. those words are fused with more than just love and respect. he’s almost HONOURED that he gets to love this badass babe and that she allows him to exist in her orbit.
AND THEN he loves Leia so much that he’s willing to step aside so she can be happy with the man he believes she wants. and valuing a woman’s choices and feelings over your own is not exactly womanizing behaviour - so where did this headcanon come from??
And the weird concept that their brand of Christianity is the ONLY religion that actually exists, like, if this ONE particular sub-sub-sub branch of Christianity goes away, we'll all collectively forget everything about the existence of religion at all (see: Book of Eli).
It’s just an earlier strain of “let me tell you about Homestuck.”
Why do Americans call ‘Richard’s ‘dick’ and ‘Robert’s ‘Bob’ I don’t get it
I can explain this! Richard and Robert are English names originally, and for a while, rhyming slang was a quite common in Cockney English. Basically it’s just nicknaming shit with random words that rhyme with it. So you’d call the stairs “apples and pears” or the telephone the “dog-and-bone”. So as Rick is slang for Richard, “Dick” became slang for “Rick” because, well, it rhymed. Same goes for Rob and Bob. This construction has all but fallen out of use, and Dick and Bob are the final hangers-on of this weird little trend.
"Adults do terrible things to children, those children then haunt other adults. (Because they ate the original abusive parents.)
Early in Guillermo del Toro’s Crimson Peak, protagonist Edith Cushing (Mia Wasikowska) eagerly gives a story she’s written to a publisher. But he sends her away, with the condescending instruction that ladies should really be writing romance stories, not ghost stories. She balks at the critique—not just because he’s a sexist ass, but because he’s misinterpreted her work. It isn’t a ghost story, she says, it’s a story with a ghost in it. “The ghost is a metaphor for the past,” she grumbles under her breath, knowing he isn’t really listening.
Some think that being poor is simple. You don’t have enough money to buy a lot of stuff, so you’re forced to buy less stuff. But that’s not really how it works. When you’re broke, you can’t do all the little things that will improve your budget over the long run. It actually costs more to be poor.
I swear, when I'm outside, aliens could land right in front of the car I'm in and start shooting rockets in the sky, and I'll turn to the boyfriend and say "Hey, look, there's a dog over there!"
There is absolutely nothing in the world that tumblr users love more than dogs, and these text posts are here to prove it… reblog it reblog it reblog it reblog it reblog it reblog it reblog it reblog it reblog it reblog it reblog it reblog it reblog it reblog it reblog it reblog … Continued
“Sometimes the poor are praised for being thrifty. But to recommend thrift to the poor is both grotesque and insulting. It is like advising a man who is starving to eat less.”
An Alabama judge has an alternative to paying fines with money: Paying them with blood.
Poverty is expensive in a lot of ways—not being able to afford healthier foods because they're more expensive, let alone buy foods in bulk; having a car that sucks gas or breaks down a lot; paying late fees because you're always juggling bills you can't quite pay. Even getting access to your own money can cost a lot. And over the past week many people using RushCard, a prepaid debit card marketed to low-income people who don't use banks, haven't been able to get access to their own money at all.
