Suko

castellankurze:

quasi-normalcy:

startrekships:

airyairyquitecontrary:

blue-author:

unstoppablyplushjuggernaut:

KIRK THIS WHY YOU GOTTA FILL OUT THE LOG

I’ve heard the theory that Kirk’s logs just get circulated round headquarters for lulz before being dumped in the circular file as obvious fabrications by someone bored with a frontier posting.

“Hey, have you seen this one? He says he fought Apollo.”

“What, the old earth probe?”

“Try the old earth GOD!”

“Hilarious! Classic Kirk! That’s better than the time when he was transported to an evil dimenison.”

The reason why in The Naked Now it was Riker who remembered that the previous polywater infection had happened is that he’s the sort of person who would read The Hilarious Adventures of Captain Kirk for fun.

I especially like this idea because of the implication that all the other captains in Starfleet are reporting perfectly ordinary experiences like visiting a space station, dropping off supplies at a colony, bit of a stand-off with some Klingons in disputed space but got out of it unscathed - and then there’s Kirk all, “sorry guys we’ve been off course this week because my first officer seriously needed to get laid (LIKE YOU HAVE NO IDEA MY NECK STILL HURTS)” and “let me tell you about the Chicago Gangster planet” and “WHIPPED AND THROWN IN JAIL BY SPACE NAZIS.”

I actually really like the above explanation

“So wait, they stole his first officer’s brain?”

I always preferred the idea that every single Constitution-class starship of the Kirk era was running into all kinds of insane shit and so the Enterprise’s adventures mostly just got lost in the shuffle.

“Sir, Starbase 12 reports a flock of space sharks cruising through the system.  They’re worried about them chewing on the antennae.”

“Can we get the Hood over there to monitor their path and shoo them off if need be?”

“No can do sir, Hood called in two days ago, says the Captain took his security detail down to the local surface to fight an army of evil komodo dragons.”

“Damn.  What about the Valiant?”

“Captain says she’s currently engaged in a duel of wits with a clone of Bismarck.”

“Like the battleship?”

“No sir, a clone of Otto von Bismarck, the German chancellor from the 1900s.”

“I’m scared to ask, but where’s the Potemkin?”

“Last reported in pursuit of a super-intelligent shade of blue.”

“God’s sake.  What about the Enterprise, are they available?”

“Something about a hole in space.”

“Christ, it’s always something.”

strictly-indian-fashion:

Sabyasachi Mukherjee | FW 2016

“Firdaus” by Sabyasachi Mukherjee | FW 2016

Jahanara by Good Earth | Festive trousseau wear with rich embroideries evoking the exuberant style of Jahanara, daughter of Mughal Emperor, Shah Jahan. Weaves of tonal embroidery on luxury fabrics like silk, mashru and handloom chanderi, bring her regal elegance and charisma to life.

Models | Priya Jain and Tridisha Baruah

an 1803 account of a mysterious ship carrying a woman that landed on Japan’s shore

In early 19th century Japan, there were several reports of a “hollow ship” allegedly washed ashore the coast of a village in Hitachi province (today’s Ibaraki Prefecture). An attractive young woman stepped off the sturdy boat with glass windows, but was unable to communicate in Japanese and eventually the locals returned her and the ship back to the sea.

she was carrying a white box and was wearing velvet trousers

A number of 19th century Kawaraban-newspapers recount very similar versions of the legend. The three most well-known are Toen shōsetsu (Tales from the Rabbit Garden, 1825), Hyōryū kishū (Counts of Drifters, about 1835) and Ume-no-chiri (Dust of the Plum, 1844).

The accounts are very detailed in what happened – down to the clothing of the young woman: she was carrying a white box and was wearing velvet trousers. Today, opinions differ on what that “utsurobune” (hollow ship) actually was – some say her saucer-shaped boat was a UFO. Others say that the woman was a European washed ashore a Hitachi beach, maybe even a European trying to spy on Japan, which had cut off contact with the rest of the world at the time. Yet others claim it was a goddess landing on earth. Or maybe it was an Edo-Japan fake news story… ?

the account includes mysterious lettering that was found engraved on the ship

No matter what the origin of the story, the utsuro-bune was picked up by the curators of the Mori Art Museum in Tokyo, who included it in the exhibition “The Universe and Art”. The Iwase Bunko Library in Aichi Prefecture stores the original description and has a video which details the account.

The Mori Art Museum always does a great job items from the art on display into merchandise at the shop and “The Universe and Art” is no exception. Next to a t-shirt, the museum sells a thermos bottle in green and white with a little utsuro-bune as well as the mysterious woman on it, made by the Swiss manufacturer SIGG. But for conspiracy theorists and fans of the occult the most sought-after item is the donburi rice bowl, a perfect match given the uncanny resemblance between the mysterious utsuro-bune and a rice bowl.

disgustinganimals:

This isn’t what they meant when they asked you to teach Python. First off, these aren’t python.

arlert-armin:

vvntheshort:

iswearimnotadumbblonde:

urethrafranklin:

I can’t decide if this is the best or the worst dad ever

If a man wakes up every day to put on a costume SOLELY to wave his child off to school, he is a dedicated father and truly one of the best out there, even tho this probably embarrassed the shit out of his kid

im going to be this father

sailershanty:

armalis:

sci-fi episodes i want:

• ship’s computer crashes due to virus acquired during a porn download from a lower decks ensign
• firmware update was pushed out to the fleet, has vital error in the clock program that causes every computer to repeat 2300. translators have to explain to the enemy why everyone is an hour late to peace talks.
• unintelligble message is sent out into the void because someone’s pet cat walked across their keyboard. message is interpreted as a marriage proposal.
• universal translators break, everyone is reduced to hand gestures
• viewscreen has dead pixels in the upper left corner, drives the captain a bit bonkers
• space gps tells us to take a right where we should take a left. plucky recent academy grad on the graveyard shift realizes that this would take us into the sun and makes the course correction. ship’s computer advises her for two hours to make a u-turn when it is safe to do so

“siri, how do I land a space ship” is heard over the ship speaker system.

A dry-dock stop at a known space station or long-colonized planet is marked by an absolute avalanche of Amazon/Etsy deliveries

queenofquell:

queenofquell:

After much debate with a lot of good friends, I am proud to present, Hamilton Characters as

Aaron Burr:

Alexander Hamilton:

John Laurens:

Marquis de Lafayette:

Hercules Mulligan:

George Washington:

King George:

Samuel Seabury:

Charles Lee:

Angelica:

Eliza:

And Peggy!:

Thomas Jefferson:

James Madison:

Maria Reynolds:

James Reynolds:

Philip Hamilton: 

George Eacker:

BONUS ROUND:

Benjamin Franklin, who was cut from the show very early in:

Another Couple John Laurens Ones:

Another Couple Alexander Hamilton Ones:

Another James Madison:

And HamBurr:

Practical armor - Photo by Olaf Winter

Centaur by Fahmi Fauzi

corvus-onca-sapien:

dat-soldier:

shadowmaat:

enrique262:

The disastrous Australian Emu War.

Someone turned it into a comic. YES.

never forget the emu war

@sin-cordura

cassandrashipsit:

standbyyourmantis:

jumpingjacktrash:

ayellowbirds:

glampersand:

fozmeadows:

scienceofsarcasm:

Evening Post: August 12, 1899.
“She immediately alighted, caught hold of the astonished youth, and gave him a sound thrashing, using her fists in a scientific fashion…”

I would love to know what this means.

I think that might be code for “punched him in the balls with devastating accuracy”.

it is absolutely code for “punched him in the balls with devastating accuracy”

As is the case with boxing, it most likely means that she was precise and methodical. So, yes. She punched him in the balls with devastating accuracy.

“to the delight of several colliers who were passing” just imagining these coal miner bros standing around all WHOO YOU GO GURL

I GOT UR HUGE FLOWER HAT BB KICK HIS ASS

It’s really hard to choose a favorite part of this story.

#goals

denchgang:

bluecaptions:

How English has changed in the past 1000 years.

the big mans a lad i have fuck all, he lets me have a kip in a field he showed me a pond 

what the

mate

i shall not want =/= i have fuck all

ye twunt

Virginia Hankins

arcticfoxbear:

the-grand-author:

wuestenratte:

val-tashoth:

crazy-pages:

radioactivepeasant:

arafaelkestra:

arcticfoxbear:

So there has been a bit of “what if humans were the weird ones?” going around tumblr at the moment and Earth Day got me thinking. Earth is a wonky place, the axis tilts, the orbit wobbles, and the ground spews molten rock for goodness sakes. What if what makes humans weird is just our capacity to survive? What if all the other life bearing planets are these mild, Mediterranean climates with no seasons, no tectonic plates, and no intense weather? 

What if several species (including humans) land on a world and the humans are all “SCORE! Earth like world! Let’s get exploring before we get out competed!” And the planet starts offing the other aliens right and left, electric storms, hypothermia, tornadoes and the humans are just … there… counting seconds between flashes, having snowball fights, and just surviving. 

To paraphrase one of my favorite bits of a ‘humans are awesome’ fiction megapost: “you don’t know you’re from a Death World until you leave it.” For a ton of reasons, I really like the idea of Earth being Space Australia.

Earth being Space Australia Words cannot express how much I love these posts

Alien: “I’m sorry, what did you just say your comfortable temperature range is?”

Human: “Honestly we can tolerate anywhere from -40 to 50 Celcius, but we prefer the 0 to 30 range.”

Alien: “……. I’m sorry, did you just list temperatures below freezing?”

Human: “Yeah, but most of us prefer to throw on scarves or jackets at those temperatures it can be a bit nippy.” 

Other human: “Nah mate, I knew this guy in college who refused to wear anything past his knees and elbows until it was -20 at least.”

Human: “Heh. Yeah everybody knows someone like that.”

Alien: “……. And did you also say 50 Celcius? As in, half way to boiling?”

Human: “Eugh. Yes. It sucks, we sweat everywhere, and god help you if you touch a seatbelt buckle, but yes.” 

Alien: “……. We’ve got like 50 uninhabitable planets we think you might enjoy.” 

“You’re telling me that you have… settlements. On islands with active volcanism?”

“Well, yeah. I’m not about to tell Iceland and Hawaii how to live their lives. Actually, it’s kind of a tourist attraction.”

“What, the molten rock?”

“Well, yeah! It’s not every day you see a mountain spew out liquid rocks! The best one is Yellowstone, though. All these hot springs and geysers from the supervolcano–”

“You ACTIVELY SEEK OUT ACTIVE SUPERVOLCANOES?”

“Shit, man, we swim in the groundwater near them.”

Sounds like the “Damned” trilogy by Alan Dean Foster.

“And you say the poles of your world would get as low as negative one hundred with wind chill?” 

“Yup, with blizzards you cant see through every other day just about.”

“Amazing! when did you manage to send drones that could survive such temperatures?”

“… well, actually…”

“… what?”

“…we kinda……. sent……….. people…..”

“…”

“…”

“…what?”

“we sent-”

“no yeah I heard you I just- what? You sent… HUMANS… to a place one hundred degrees below freezing?”

“y-yeah”

“and they didn’t… die?”

“Well the first few did”

“PEOPLE DIED OF THE COLD AND YOUR SOLUTION WAS TO SEND MORE PEOPLE???!?!?!?”

My new favorite Humans are Weird quote

“PEOPLE DIED OF THE COLD AND YOUR SOLUTION WAS TO SEND MORE PEOPLE?”

aka The History of Russia

aka Arctic Exploration

aka The History of Alaska

melodicdeathyeongha:

bellatrixt:

ritual-and-chaos-main:

imoquest:

“a beautiful painting”

this is the future of art

@karoldanvers

I cant believe Classical Art meme-ing will soon become a legitimate form of art appreciation / critique

thatgryffinclawchick:

mamasam:

seriouslyneglectedblog:

So I just need to get this off my chest:

For me David Kawena from Lilo and Stitch is the ultimate Disney prince because he is there for Nani AND Lilo and even Stitch despite everything that’s going on in their lives. They’re going through some tough stuff. Their parents die and all of the sudden Nani has to be a mom to her sister who is socially awkward and depressed and that’s hard enough as it is and then she gets her this ‘dog’ and everything gets harder and even though she can’t return David’s feelings he’s still there for them through everything. Even aliens. He’s amazing. I was watching Lilo and Stitch with my niece the other day and I cried watching David go through it all. He is the perfect guy. Like I just get emotional thinking about him.

Imagine if you had someone like David in your life - male or female. You would feel like a prince/princess even if you were living with next to nothing.

David is the ultimate Disney prince - even though he isn’t a Disney prince. He should be considered one.

Disney rant - over.

Reminder that David:

-has no curse to break
-does not have a deadline/ultimatum to find a wife
-has no financial/social gain from being with Nani
-is told ¼ of the way into the movie that Nani is too busy to worry about dating him AND PROCEEDS TO BE HELPFUL AND SUPPORTIVE ANYWAY.

David’s not a Disney prince because he’s too fucking awesome for that title. 

AN ACTUAL NON-IRONIC,NON-SELF DESCRIBING NICE GUY. 

A PROPER HUMAN BEING. 

From /r/dnd: Portrait of a PC

buzzfeed:

weirdbuzzfeed:

Police Set Up A Camera In Kansas To Find A Mountain Lion And WTF Is Happening

For their part, the Gardner police said in a Facebook post that they thought it was pretty damn funny.

“We would like to sincerely thank the persons responsible as it made our day when we pulled up what we expected to be hundreds of pictures of coyotes, foxes and raccoons. Thank you to the citizens who noticed the cameras. Your effort and sense of humor are greatly appreciated.”

jumpingjacktrash:

the-real-seebs:

ursulavernon:

            Frogs fall out of my mouth when I talk. Toads, too.

            It used to be a problem.

            There was an incident when I was young and cross and fed up parental expectations. My sister, who is the Good One, has gold fall from her lips, and since I could not be her, I had to go a different way.

            So I got frogs. It happens.

            “You’ll grow into it,” the fairy godmother said. “Some curses have cloth-of-gold linings.” She considered this, and her finger drifted to her lower lip, the way it did when she was forgetting things. “Mind you, some curses just grind you down and leave you broken. Some blessings do that too, though. Hmm. What was I saying?”

            I spent a lot of time not talking. I got a slate and wrote things down. It was hard at first, but I hated to drop the frogs in the middle of the road. They got hit by cars, or dried out, miles away from their damp little homes.

            Toads were easier. Toads are tough. After awhile, I learned to feel when a word was a toad and not a frog. I could roll the word around on my tongue and get the flavor before I spoke it. Toad words were drier. Desiccated is a toad word. So is crisp and crisis and obligation. So are elegant and matchstick.

            Frog words were a bit more varied. Murky. Purple. Swinging. Jazz.

I practiced in the field behind the house, speaking words over and over, sending small creatures hopping into the evening.  I learned to speak some words as either toads or frogs. It’s all in the delivery.

            Love is a frog word, if spoken earnestly, and a toad word if spoken sarcastically. Frogs are not good at sarcasm.

            Toads are masters of it.

            I learned one day that the amphibians are going extinct all over the world, that some of them are vanishing. You go to ponds that should be full of frogs and find them silent. There are a hundred things responsible—fungus and pesticides and acid rain.

            When I heard this, I cried “What!?” so loudly that an adult African bullfrog fell from my lips and I had to catch it. It weighed as much as a small cat. I took it to the pet store and spun them a lie in writing about my cousin going off to college and leaving the frog behind.

            I brooded about frogs for weeks after that, and then eventually, I decided to do something about it.

            I cannot fix the things that kill them. It would take an army of fairy godmothers, and mine retired long ago. Now she goes on long cruises and spreads her wings out across the deck chairs.

            But I can make more.

            I had to get a field guide at first. It was a long process. Say a word and catch it, check the field marks. Most words turn to bronze frogs if I am not paying attention.

            Poison arrow frogs make my lips go numb. I can only do a few of those a day. I go through a lot of chapstick.  

            It is a holding action I am fighting, nothing more. I go to vernal pools and whisper sonnets that turn into wood frogs. I say the words squeak and squill and spring peepers skitter away into the trees. They begin singing almost the moment they emerge.

            I read long legal documents to a growing audience of Fowler’s toads, who blink their goggling eyes up at me. (I wish I could do salamanders. I would read Clive Barker novels aloud and seed the streams with efts and hellbenders. I would fly to Mexico and read love poems in another language to restore the axolotl. Alas, it’s frogs and toads and nothing more. We make do.)

            The woods behind my house are full of singing. The neighbors either learn to love it or move away.

            My sister—the one who speaks gold and diamonds—funds my travels. She speaks less than I do, but for me and my amphibian friends, she will vomit rubies and sapphires. I am grateful.

            I am practicing reading modernist revolutionary poetry aloud. My accent is atrocious. Still, a day will come when the Panamanian golden frog will tumble from my lips, and I will catch it and hold it, and whatever word I spoke, I’ll say again and again, until I stand at the center of a sea of yellow skins, and make from my curse at last a cloth of gold.

Terri Windling posted recently about the old fairy tale of frogs falling from a girl’s lips, and I started thinking about what I’d do if that happened to me, and…well…

!.

You know how if you go through years and years of “best science fiction short stories”, every so often you find some short story you’ve never heard of before, but it’s just amazing and brilliant and leaves you wondering why you never read stories with that plot before? This is one of those.

Seriously, wow.

this made me smile.

i’m still smiling.

juhaniotsoberg:

So I found a site that does a subscription box for your period- it sends you basics like hygiene products, pain medication as well as snacks and pampering stuff to make you feel good, 

but the best thing is they have a specialty boxes, like vegan or kosher only snacks but also 

they specifically offer boxes for menstruating guys and nb folks. 

which is pretty darn cool.

it’s called bonjourjolie and I think it’s 1000% awesome tbh 

fyblackwomenart:

Caitlin Yarsky  - Nouveau LaVeau- Voodoo Queen  

h0odrich:

scientificphilosopher:

This Lovecraftian monstrosity may look like an amalgam of dying octopuses, but it’s actually a single creature called a Basket Star, a type of deep sea brittle star. They can reach up to 11 pounds in weight and 70 cm in length!

on today’s episode of hell the fuck no

thatawkwardtinyperson:

falloutphanboyz:

kaijutegu:

kaijutegu:

kaijutegu:

My ball python, Harker, is really scared of this one stapler.

Every time he sees it, he balls up.

I was grading today and sure enough, the stapler was still scary.

However, for the first time, I introduced a second stapler!

He was nervous at first… 

But it didn’t take him long to warm up to it.

Pretty soon it became his best friend!

There was nothing the new stapler couldn’t do!

Including protecting him from the other stapler.

The moral of the story?

My snake is a weirdo.

Update: Today I took Harker to my office, where he met another stapler.

He was fairly apathetic at first, but eventually they got on pretty well!

This stapler was smaller than either of the others, but one thing was sure: this stapler was definitely not scary!

Am I any closer to understanding my snake’s strange relationship with staplers?

Absolutely not.

UPDATE: it’s 2016 and I’m pleased to announce that he’s FINALLY gotten over his fear of the stapler!

He likes it now!

Tell him I’m proud of him

This post is so pure!

thelastsworld:

screamqueen96:

By Konjyouyaki

hehe!

brakken:

Uh oh.

frowningfoxbones:

agentquinn:

sepulchritude:

my fav trope is like, nonhuman characters not understanding human needs/customs but still being super supportive of their human companion

“look what I found while exploring this planet’s surface!” “kilrak please I’m trying to sleep” “ah yes your human circadian rhythm. *stage whispering* I am supposed to be quiet during this time in your rhythm, yes?”

“the book I purchased on ragnok V says humans require physical touch when upset. therefore, I shall engage in a ‘hug’ with you.” *supremely awkward five-armed hug ensues*

*human sneezes* “OH MY GOD SIL'EEN GET THE MEDIC OUR HUMAN IS DYING”

“this pamphlet I received recently says that humans require companions and packmates in the form of small earth creatures. you should have told me this before we departed earth, but it is no worry. we will have to stop at the next trade planet to get you one of these ‘cats’ or ‘dogs’.”

imagine the aliens really purchasing a kitten for one of their rough and world-weary scifi badass human companions and watching in helpless wonderment what ensues 

“she’s been cuddling that small animal for the past fifteen minutes just going ‘kitty, kitty’. did we - did we break our human?”

a more seasoned alien puts one of their tentacles around the younger one as the rest of the team gathers to watch their human make kissy noises. 

“no, kilrak,” the alien says. “we did good.” 

“Human-Steve! I have heard that today is the anniversary of your hatching! According to my human culture pamphlet, it is customary to set a sugary pastry on fire while chanting your species’ growth incantation and presenting sacrifices wrapped in shiny paper. I am afraid to ask, in case this ritual is sacred and this request therefor insensitive… but may I be allowed to participate? It sounds much more fascinating than molting.”

Makes me think of all the characters Suko plays… in a good way! :D