the funniest thing in the entire pirates of the caribbean series is definitely that one scene in At World’s End where they have parlay but davy jones is part of it, and rather than have him stand in the shallows or something they get a big bucket of water and have in stand on it on shore
who thought of that idea? who thought “put davy jones in a bucket of water” and had the guts to suggest it aloud? and then who went “hey that sounds like a great idea!”
at some point someone told davy jones their idea was for him to stand in a bucket of water and he agreed to it
*stands majestically in a bucket*
ok but notice the trail of buckets behind him meaning he walked from the ocean through three other buckets of water before he got into the one hes standing in
It’s even funnier when you consider how he must have figured all this out in the first place.
Some folks are asking “well, if he can avoid the no-dry-land curse simply by standing in a bucket, doesn’t that ruin his whole motivation?”, but he’s not on dry land here.
The parley takes place on a sandbar - which, for the unfamiliar, is a temporary “island” of sand deposited by breaking waves, unconnected with the shore, that spends most of its time submerged, being exposed only at low tide.
What Jones is doing here is rules-lawyering his curse. Can you imagine the trial and error he must have gone through in order to determine that this would actually work?
“Okay, do islands count as dry land? How about parts of the shore below the high tide mark? Reefs? Shoals? What if I stand in a pool of water on a shoal? Does it have to be seawater, or will any water do? Does it have to be a natural tidepool, or can it be something artificial, like a bucket?”
What I am saying is that there must have been a process.
Pretty sure that this implies that the reverse - a bucket of sand, floating on the water (big bucket with just a bit of sand), would qualify as dry land. That’s absurd, so I’m pretty sure that his lawyer pulled a fast one over the curse governor.
It may be absurd, but the text of the film bears it out. Davy Jones can sense the presence of his heart while it’s at sea, but not while it’s on land (indeed, that’s why he buried it on land in the first place: to break his connection with it) - yet placing the heart in a simple jar of dirt conceals it from Jones’ awareness just as surely as burial on land does, even if the jar is on a boat at the time. Suitably prepared vessels filled with dirt absolutely count as dry land for the purpose of Jones’ curse.
Then the reverse should also be true. If he buried it in a jar of water, no matter how far inland it is, he would be able to sense it. So by this logic, any container of seawater counts as not dry land, ergo, the bucket is a perfectly viable loophole.
Not necessarily. It’s traditionally a lot easier to accidentally get whammied by a curse than it is to weasel around it - I figure that’s why he’s using multiple layers of indirection here. He’s forbidden to set foot on dry land, but it’s technically not dry land (it’s a sandbar, a non-permanent landform exposed only at low tide) and he technically didn’t set foot on it (he’s standing in a bucket of water). It’s entirely possible that either one of those things alone wouldn’t make the grade.
okay but this all raises one further, very important question: if it’s specifically “dry land” he’s forbidden from, what about wetlands.
can Davy Jones fight you in salt marshes? can he throw down in a peat bog?Swamp Battle?
This is the quality content I come to Tumblr for.
could he step on land if his shoes are wet?
No matter how ridiculous PotC gets I will love it. Especially when it results in conversations like this
What if he crawls around on his hands and knees, with his feet raised slightly into the air? Can he walk on his hands? Can he ride around in a litter or a wheelchair?
can he be in a wheelbarrow?
@prokopetz where are you getting this idea that sandbars don’t count as dry land. yeah they’re not permanent, but that doesn’t have shit to do with dicks, when they’re out of the water they’re dirt with no seawater on it, which is clearly all it takes to constitute dry land for the purpose of the curse.
i’m all for pedantically overanalyzing fiction but that particular point is based on nothing at all.
Curses don’t operate on the basis of dictionary definitions - they’re all about symbolism, metaphor, and even outright wordplay. In popular folklore, you can work around a curse with a goddamn pun, if it’s a good enough pun. Strange technicalities are SOP when it comes to curse management.
(As an aside, a friend of mine pointed out another potential layer of indirection that’s being employed in this scene. The half-barrel that Jones is standing in is all rotted and gnarly, which suggests it was scavenged from the Flying Dutchman itself. If that’s indeed the case, there’s another technicality that might be being exploited here: how could he possibly be on dry land if he never left his ship?)
Holy crap what a mastery of textiles! How does he do this without paint or bleach? Those reflections are astonishing.
A brush and canvas make a perfect pair for producing beautiful art, but creatives like UK-based Ian Berry love to think outside of the box. This unconventional artist has pushed aside the paintbrush and picked up a pair of jeans. Denim is his medium of choice and there’s no tricks or illusions to his creations. “Everything you see in my work is denim, nothing else, no paint, nor bleach,” he tells us in an email.
Rather than burning, bleaching, or painting directly onto the sturdy fabric, Berry opts to reshape the material with scissors and adhere layers atop one another with glue. Using blue, black, and gray jeans, he manipulates the assembly of various shades to capture brilliant contrasts of light. He’s able to mimic remarkably lifelike visions of shadows and depth within his textured “paintings.” The results are astoundingly photorealistic depictions of everyday life.
Berry’s most recent work focuses on launderettes—a place you’d commonly find jeans, tumbling in the washer. The series pays homage specifically to the launderettes of London. With so many of the city’s laundromats closing down, Berry has fond memories of what these overlooked establishments symbolize. “They’ve been places where people could meet and talk and get to know each other. Now, they’re disappearing,” he says. “They were the heart of the community, and the fabric of our city is changing.”
The series, titled My Beautiful Launderette, is one of Berry’s two exhibitions currently on display in London. For this particular series, the artist went so far as to create a life-size launderette made of denim. To see it in person, head over to Catto Gallery—and be quick because the exhibit only runs through November 30, 2016.
The final Dragoncon 2016 post! Sunday afternoon was a vintage style themed outfit, much like my Star Wars Walkaway dress. A Disney Princess Bleach Dress! I was super proud of this one and it went over so well. I had been planning to do a Disney version of the bleach dress ever since I made the Captain America one. I think it turned out even better than the Cap dress.
I used Simplicity 1606 for the bodice, with straps from another pattern. The skirt is a basic circle skirt. The dress was assembled and finished minus the straps and bias tape before bleaching. Then I arranged my princesses around the skirt and sprayed it with bleach, along with the cut strap and trim pieces. I didn’t get a picture of the finished back on me, but I did remember to snap one when I finished the bleaching.
The parameters of which princesses/heroines made it onto the dress fell under the category of “Cause I wanna.” In other words, I don’t care that some of them aren’t offical princesses. The 16 ladies who appear, from back seam clockwise: Elsa, Kida, Esmeralda, Jasmine, Snow White, Pocahontas, Belle, Ariel, Tiana, Rapunzel, Aurora, Mulan, Cinderella, Meg, Merida, and Anna. It took quite a few minutes for me to decide who went where.
I made the hat with extra fabric and gold sinamay.
What did you use for cut outs and how did you secure it so bleach doesn’t soak sideways and make edges blurry?? o_o
Contact paper! The kind people line silverware drawers with; it will stick to the fabric, and then pull off easily. Just make sure after you spray it, dry off the cutouts before you pull them off. Otherwise it can drip and mess up the design
I wish I had been there while they worked on flaming arrows. I guess I'll just have to trial-and-error it myself...
“If this is to end in fire then we will all burn together.” It took years for us to develop our fire arrows to actually stay alight until the hit their targets. And it is oh so rewarding 🔥. But that is why we let @fletchings_deep do most of the shooting. because accuracy is important when forest fires are the consequence of missing 😬 photo by @nicolasbruno (at The Vales of Ithilien)
So, I went and got my Bitch Planet tattoo today, and someone in the shop asked, “That’s pretty… Visible. Aren’t you afraid of being that obvious?” And I replied, “I’m pulling aggro.”
But the more I think about it, the more this metaphor fucking works. I’m a white middle class woman with low expenses, no criminal record, and I live in liberal-ass New England (or at least, I thought I did before the Trump/Pence signs cropped up like fucking forsythias but that’s a whole other post.) I’m safe. Even if I get in a knock-down-drag-out, I’m not going to be seen as an agitator, or a troublemaker, or the “problem.” I have money for bail. I am privileged.
While I have physical disabilities, they actually don’t get in the way of me feeling like I could get in a scrap. If anything, the opposite. I have this whole other post (yeah I think of more all the time like this) about the genetic evolution of Ehler’s-Danlos Syndrome but suffice to say, you can’t hold on to me and you can’t break me easily. I have martial arts training, but I look harmless, so even if I did get in a scrap, the cop is going to go, “You got in a brawl with a 35-year-old fat woman… Yeah… whatever.”
I have mental health limitations, but they actually don’t get worse from being exposed to this shit - I’d feel way worse and more anxious if I didn’t step in. I’m the kind of person who would just second guess and eat themselves alive in thinking of how they should have jumped in to help someone.
I’m a tank. I’m tough, I’m bendy, and bigots aren’t going to shock me or hurt me.
Not everyone is a tank. This is super fucking important. Some people are healers. They deal with the fallout when someone like me comes home shaking and breathing in a paper bag because holy shit I just took a picture of a guy in a CVS who tried to grab my tit. Some people are DPS - they leap in and fucking maul people with cited facts on Facebook arguments and are physically imposing and probably could punch a bitch out.
It’s okay to be what you are. And it’s also okay to take care of yourself. If you’re a tank, you gotta heal up. You need downtime, or you get hypervigilant and debuffed and you’re too fucked up to help anyone. If you’re a healer, you need to get your resources back so you can do what you love without taxing yourself unduly. It’s like that.
So I’m a tank. And I’ll wear my Non-Compliant Genderqueer tattoo with pride. I wear my “Respect Existence or Expect Resistance” tattoo the same way. I wear them so that the girl with the neutral gender haircut who just wants to fucking ride the bus isn’t as inviting a target as I am. I pull aggro. I don’t want a fight, I won’t start a fight, but you better fucking believe I’ll step in the way.
Taunt, pull, peel, sustain, rest, drop your stacks, and fight on.
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THAT’S THE CUTEST THING OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY FUCKING GOD LOOK HOW FUCKIN STOKED SHE IS ABOUT THE RAIN LIKE “THERE’S WATER FALLING OUT OF THE GODDAMN SKY RIGHT NOW IS THIS THE REAL LIFE HOLY SHIT THIS IS A W E S O M E” I CAN’T EVEN DEAL WITH THIS ADORABLE MAGICAL CHILD’S HAPPINESS BULLSHIT BYE
So true, but the one that made me go huh! is the "lighting department at Home Depot" one. I never thought about it but there really is something off kilter about it. More than the tile department or the plumbing department, certainly.
• any target
• churches in texas
• abandoned 7/11’s
• your bedroom at 5 am
• hospitals at midnight
• warehouses that smell like dust
• lighthouses with lights that don’t work anymore
• empty parking lots
• ponds and lakes in suburban neighborhoods
• rooftops in the early morning
• inside a dark cabinet
playgrounds at night
rest stops on highways
deep in the mountains
early in the morning wherever it’s just snowed
trails by the highway just out of earshot of traffic
schools during breaks
those little beaches right next to ferry docks
bowling alleys
unfamiliar mcdonalds on long roadtrips
your friends living room once everybody but you is asleep
laundromats at midnight
what the fuck
galeries in art museums that are empty except for you
the lighting section of home depot
stairwells
•hospital waiting rooms
•airports from midnight to 7am
• bathrooms in small concert venues
therockAfter
we feed her, Jasmine just loves looking at daddy’s tattoos. I think it
helps her digest😂. Can’t wait to one day explain to her what all this
means. Chat about her cultures (Samoan, Armenian, African American and
Italian). And while these symbols may appear to be primitive,
unsophisticated and crude - they’re extremely sacred, thousands of years
old and very powerful. My mana (strength). Ironically enough the symbol
she’s fixated on is our ATUA (our God) protected by the small building
blocks of my life and then by shark teeth.
More proof that Dwayne Johnson is basically a perfect human. I’m glad that this beautiful little girl is growing up with so many cultural heritages. Glad that Dwayne is so proud of the culture of his grandfather. Glad that he is exposing her to that even now.
Worked like a debutante’s coming out used to… (incidentally the debutante’s coming out is where we get the terminology) and so being gay or trans or what have you meant getting presented to the reigning monarch.
“Your majesty, may I present… a gay”
I would love this as a story conceit? Like, an upper class who have to engineer elaborate confections to present the younger generation of queers in the Appropriate Manner for Social Advancement.
“Have you heard about Lady Hemington’s youngest? They’ll be coming out as genderqueer!”
“Oh, poor dear Lady Hemington - so hard on the heels of the first two. She can hardly arrange a come-out until the first two have had their chance to shine…”
“And the cost of another nonbinary ball - !”
“The costume changes alone will be terribly hard to bear. But, of course, one mustn’t skimp. Not when that wretched Lucrezia Netherbottom threw such a come-out for her first.”
“Oh, I know, my dear, I know. I’m so terribly grateful that my wife was able to present our boys at Court herself - I’d simply die if the Netherbottoms had an advantage in wooing the Prince, just because Lucrezia’s quite willing to spend thousands on a French cosmetic surgeon.”
“And you’ve got that dear little daughter who’s looking quite Hard Butch, isn’t she?”
“Oh yes, we do hope it isn’t just a phase; ‘twould be such a nice change to throw a proper Lumberjane Ball…”
Nice! I really like the way it is sorted. It's like how I started trying to sort my font collection but gave up when I just wanted to tag everything and couldn't find something to do that properly.
I got pretty fed up with looking for words to replace said because they weren’t sorted in a way I could easily use/find them for the right time. So I did some myself.
I’M DRUNK OR JUST BEING WEIRDLY EXPRESSIVE FOR A POINT/SARCASM Hooted Howled Yowled
I WONDER Pondered Voiced Wondered
OH, YEAH, WHOOPS Recalled Recited Remembered
SURPRISE BITCH Revealed
IT SEEMS FAKE BUT OKAY/HA ACTUALLY FUNNY BUT I DON’T WANT TO LAUGH OUT LOUD Scoffed Snickered Snorted
BITCHY Tattled Taunted Teased
Edit: People, I’m an English and creative writing double major in college; I understand that there’s nothing wrong with simply using “said.” This was just for fun, and it comes in handy when I need to add pizzazz.
In addition to a little pizzazz in the dialogue tags, these are also super useful as part of the narration, or summing up/paraphrasing something that has been said, or even in a character’s dialogue as they describe how someone was talking!
Person A owns a flower shop and person B comes storming in one day, slaps 20 bucks on the counter and says “How do I passive-aggressively say fuck you in flower?”
Omfg
MY TIME HAS COME
so you’d need a bouquet of geraniums (stupidity), foxglove (insincerity), meadowsweet (uselessness), yellow carnations (you have disappointed me), and orange lilies (hatred). it would be quite striking! and full of loathing.
im no Florist but I thought I’d try my hand at such a beautiful gift of absolute loathing
My Mom’s sitting outside our house on our dock. She’s sitting on a deck chair with our house skeleton sitting beside her. She’s set up two glasses of champagne on the little deck chair table.
Our skeleton is wearing a wide-brimmed hat for sun protection.
