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Erik Highter on Twitter: "This is still the third best Star Wars movie: https://t.co/2jvaRjkV05"
The Game’s Afoot! J.K. Rowling’s The Cuckoo’s Calling To Be “Major” BBC Series - BBC AMERICA? Please?
Not only is J.K. Rowling officially Hollywood’s most powerful writer, but she’s about to dominate the small screen, too: her detective novel The Cuckoo’s Calling and its sequel The Silkworm are set to be adapted by the BBC. Put all the amazing British actors in my eyeballs now, please.
The hero of Rowling’s detective series (originally written under the pseudonym Robert Galbraith) is Cormoran Strike, a veteran who becomes a PI after losing a leg in Afghanistan. According to Deadline, Strike’s story, although once considered a “hot property” in Hollywood, will instead be adapted by Brontë Film and TV, the same company helming the BBC adaptation of Rowling’s The Casual Vacancy.
BBC Television Director Danny Cohen said of the project,
It’s a wonderful coup for BBC Television to be bringing JK Rowling’s latest books to the screen. With the rich character of Cormoran Strike at their heart, these dramas will be event television across the world.
I eagerly anticipate my frantic attempts at streaming.
(Via Daniel Ogren on Flickr)
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Grand Juries Should Be Abolished
Before Detroit Can Move On, It Needs To Upgrade From Windows XP
Georgetown's live dog mascot Jack the Bulldog now knows how to skateboard
SKATEBOARDING BULLDOG SKATEBOARDING BULLDOG SKATEBOARDING BULLDOG GEORGETOWN WINS EVERYTHING
During tonight's Georgetown-Kansas halftime, there were multiple reports of SKATEBOARDING BULLDOG:
In other Hoyas news, Jack the Bulldog has acquired the skill "skateboarding"
A photo posted by Eamonn Brennan (@eamonnbrennan) on
At the KU-Georgetown game with @craighulse, our ladies and Jack the Bulldog. pic.twitter.com/jYHVRB5npg
— Justin Maxwell (@JustinMaxwell27) December 11, 2014
However, we couldn't find any video of Jack the Bulldog actually skateboarding. Luckily, somebody posted a pregame video. And we can't stop watching it:
If you're a real jerk, you will point out that Jack is not technically skateboarding. He just got placed on a skateboard and is smart enough not to shift his weight even a tiny bit while the skateboard is moving. However, if you think I care at all about these semantics, you are sorely mistaken. This is a skateboarding bulldog. It is a very good dog, and it is very good at skateboarding. Good job, Jack. I am giving you skritches and treats in my head.
Jon Lester replied to *everybody* who tweeted at him ... and had some good replies for the mean ones
Jon Lester broke some hearts in Boston by signing with the Cubs. He knows that, and was willing to listen, even if you were rude to him.
A lot of people tweeted to Jon Lester about his decision to sign with the Cubs. Some were congratulatory, some were disappointed, and some were straight up mean. He chose to reply to all of them... even the mean ones.
One person opted to come at him with a "your" and a "trader:"
@N_Ruggiero Sorry you feel that way buddy but i believe you meant "you are" and "traitor"
— Jon Lester (@JLester31) December 11, 2014
And to the more basic ones:
@NicoloJoe no thank you
— Jon Lester (@JLester31) December 11, 2014
.@JLester31 fan here. #Cubs pic.twitter.com/Ps71WnKLo8
— Joe Ostrowski (@JoeO670) December 11, 2014
As for the nice ones: Lester wrote "thanks!" a few hundred times:
@TJ_Sigsbee Thanks TJ, I'm excited too!
— Jon Lester (@JLester31) December 11, 2014
And even took time to sympathize with people who called him selfish and stuf like that:
@xxlilstevexx Can't say I agree with you but I understand the frustration
— Jon Lester (@JLester31) December 11, 2014
'Rectal Feeding' the CIA Used on Alleged Terrorists Had Zero Nutritional Value
Among the many "enhanced interrogation methods" (a.k.a physical and psychological acts of torture) that CIA personnel and independent contractors used on the men they designated as Muslim terrorists and imprisoned in Guantanamo Bay and "black" sites around the world was "rectal feeding."
The Daily Beast's Russell Saunders points out how this horrific act of violence has no medical or nutritional value:
Even if one accepts the highly dubious notion that anyone believed "rectal feedings" were a legitimate means of nourishing someone, there was no reason to consider such extreme measures in the first place. The rule of thumb in medicine is "if the guts works, use it," meaning that it's best to use the stomach to hydrate a patient if it's functioning properly. There is no indication that these detainees couldn't have had tubes inserted into their stomachs through their noses for the purposes of feeding them, assuming that respecting their right to refuse food had already been thrown out the window. For hydration, an IV would have been effective, as CIA medical officers conceded.
In other words, it's a sickening, humiliating twist on the already-painful force-feeding of imprisoned people through their noses.
Sony is planning a crossover movie between Men in Black and Jump Street
firehosewhat
A lot of very strange news has already come out of the Sony Pictures hack, but this might be the strangest. According to The Wall Street Journal, emails have been found in the leaked cache of documents that reveal the movie studio is planning to make a crossover movie involving the Men in Black and Jump Street franchises for a 2016 or 2017 release.
While the movie won't feature Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones, Jump Street actors Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum are expected to star. One of the emails uncovered comes from Hill himself, who expresses his excitement to Sony's studio head Amy Pascal by saying "jump street merging with mib i think that’s clean and rad and powerful." "jump street merging with mib i think that’s clean and rad and powerful."
Even though there is little in place right now, the movie will supposedly be one of the studio's tentpole films. According to another email from Hannah Minghella, the president of production for Sony’s Columbia Pictures label, that's not a problem. "We don’t have a script yet so we’ll be greenlighting the movie off the concept and the talent involved," she wrote.
The saving graces for this crazy idea might be Phil Lord and Chris Miller, who are apparently producing and writing the film. The duo have not only helmed the Jump Street movies, but also directed and wrote Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, The Lego Movie, and the short-lived cult hit MTV animated series Clone High.
Why… 😭 #9gag
firehosevia Albener Pessoa
"From creating a wisp of light to causing the ground itself to shatter and break, spells are a source of immense power."
Why… 😭 #9gag
SimCity 2000 is free right now
firehosehttps://www.origin.com/en-us/store/buy/simcity-catalog/pc-download/base-game/special-edition
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Watch footballs turn into deli meat in this whimsical stop-motion short
firehosePES beat
PES has spent most of the past decade turning everyday objects on their head, one inch at a time. The California-based filmmaker, real name Adam Pesapane, has become something of a stop-motion auteur since the debut of his first short, Roof Sex, in which two armchairs have sex on a roof. Since then, he's created viral hits like Western Spaghetti and the Oscar-nominated Fresh Guacamole, all in the same quirky aesthetic. In his universe, footballs are turned into cold cuts, dice become onions, and chairs give blowjobs.
Today, PES released Submarine Sandwich, the third installment in his food-focused series of stop-motion shorts. Set in a recreated 1920s-era deli, the film follows a clerk (played by PES) as he wordlessly constructs a submarine sandwich from behind the counter. As in his earlier films, the cuts of meat are not actually meat, but vintage sports equipment that he spent years looking for on eBay, Craigslist, and at flea markets. A boxing glove is sliced into thin strips of "ham" (represented by pink napkins), and 1970s-era tube socks (provolone cheese) are cut into white baseball patches and spread across the sandwich.
It's clever, cute, and definitely weird, but PES says it's just the way he's always seen the world. He has vivid memories of going to the grocery store as a child and imagining avocados as grenades — a vision that became the basis for 2012's Fresh Guacamole.
"I don't know if anyone else sees this, but those avocados are just like grenades."
"It’s just one of those little ideas, and everyone has these things that amuse you," PES said in a phone interview Tuesday from his studio in Santa Monica. "For me, I use them as cornerstones for films because that’s my way of saying, 'hey this is really funny, I see this in the world and I don't know if anyone else sees this, but those avocados are just like grenades.'"
The film was crowdfunded through a Kickstarter campaign over the summer, and took seven months to shoot. But the seed was planted a few years earlier, when PES fell in love with an old meat slicer he saw on display at the MoMA in New York. He was struck by its muscular design, and began wondering what a PES deli would look like. He was already familiar with the menu — he grew up in New Jersey in an Italian-American family, and his aunt owned a deli there — but recreating the atmosphere would prove difficult.
PES spent 18 months monitoring eBay for just the right deli cabinet, a 1920s-era piece from New York. He paid way too much for an old soccer ball in Peru, and scoured Los Angeles flea markets and sites like Etsy for any other memorabilia he could find. Once it was all collected, and with funding secured, he began the painstaking process of bringing it to life, one shot at a time.
It's a long and arduous process, but PES says authenticity is critical to his work. His entire career, much like the medium in which he works, is predicated on meticulous attention to detail — everything from the sound of the meat slicer to the texture of his materials. In the promo video for his Kickstarter campaign, PES made a point of stressing that all of his films are completely free of computer-generated special effects.
"I like giant cutting boards that are scarred over 200 years, I like knives that I found in Mexico that were handmade in the 1800s."
"I like touching things, I like handling things," he says. "I like giant cutting boards that are scarred over 200 years, I like knives that I found in Mexico that were handmade in the 1800s. I like deli cabinets that have oak doors on the back and really creaky hinges. I like stuff, and I like the texture of stuff."
"And so part of my films are about this sort of deification of stuff, and texture, and that beautiful thing about real life, versus that sanitary feeling that you often get from a computer."
Now that Submarine Sandwich is behind him, PES plans to devote more time to other projects, both personal and commercial. He's shot several commercials over his career, and wants to create a TV series in the same style of his celebrated shorts. And although he says he's not opposed to trying new formats or technologies, he seems intent on exploring the same twisted reality he sees every day.
"I've always been a bit of a documentary filmmaker at heart," he says. "I approach all my films as if they’re real, 100 percent believable. I’m just showing you, this is what happens if you cut a baseball, or two chairs are fucking on a roof and I happen to sneak up there and photograph them."
"I’m treating it like it’s really happening and that heightens the absurdity of it. It’s like yes, I really am making this dish, doesn’t it look delicious?"
Verizon admits utility rules won’t harm FiOS and wireless investments
firehoseall carriers suck forever
Internet service providers have consistently told the government that utility regulation of broadband would harm infrastructure investment. AT&T has (not very convincingly) claimed that it can't consider any new fiber upgrades while the Federal Communications Commission debates whether to impose utility rules on broadband under Title II of the Communications Act.
But Verizon struck a blow to that narrative yesterday when Chief Financial Officer Francis Shammo said utility rules will not influence how Verizon invests in its networks.
Speaking at a UBS investor conference (see transcript at Seeking Alpha), Shammo was asked, "Obviously there's a lot of commentary coming out of Washington about this move to Title II... What's your view of that potential occurrence down in Washington and does it affect your view on the attractiveness of investing further in the United States?"
Read 8 remaining paragraphs | Comments
Dad Makes His Kid Play Through All Video Game History In Chronological Order
firehose#nodads
Read more of this story at Slashdot.
cannonballhands: djekhradt: whut thu...
firehosevia Toaster Strudel
Iggy Pop Is Indeed Playing A Serial Killer In Dario Argento's New Film
Italian horror master Dario Argento made his mark with gorgeously gory films like Suspiria, Inferno, Deep Red, and Tenebre. His creative heyday (late 1970s to the mid-1980s) may be over (though 2007's Mother of Tears had its moments) — but the 74-year-old's latest boasts a bit of stunt casting so intriguing, it just might make the film worth seeking out.
[UPDATED] EA’s Peter Moore Unhappy With Twitter’s Handling of Harassment Just Like the Rest of Us
[UPDATE] During the writing of this post, the harassing account in question got suspended. Looks like Moore’s complaints paid off.
EA Games’ Peter Moore probably isn’t surprised that he gets some hate as the COO of one of the biggest video game companies around. But that doesn’t mean he has to just sit back and take it, and he’s not too happy that Twitter seems to think he should.
Last night, Moore retweeted a bunch of harassing tweets he received and then Twitter’s less than helpful response on the matter:
Here you go. I get lots of these, but the threats to my wife and family spurred me to report this to Twitter: pic.twitter.com/OavtBo2lMS
— Peter Moore (@petermooreEA) December 10, 2014
His harasser, whose very important driving force is not being happy with the most recent FIFA game, has been sending him the exact kind of tweets you’d expect (possible trigger warning):
@petermooreEA u scum I hate u and everything related to u.. I hope u ur wife kids family all die then there’s nothing left of u
— Robertclarke (@xbox_gamer87) December 9, 2014
@petermooreEA remove handicap it’s not a joke. Hope ur wife dies in a ditch u scum. Hurry up and die u old prick
— Robertclarke (@xbox_gamer87) November 30, 2014
@petermooreEA u scum I hate u and everything related to u.. I hope u ur wife kids family all die then there’s nothing left of u
— Robertclarke (@xbox_gamer87) December 9, 2014
By this point in this list of tweets, or just by our current point in the state of the Internet, most of you probably aren’t surprised that the harasser finds it easiest to attack Moore indirectly through comments about his wife—the nearest woman he could think of. Well, this next tweet really won’t surprise you, then:
@@petermooreEA hope your wife gets raped
— Robertclarke (@xbox_gamer87) December 4, 2014
And in case you thought the harassment would just be limited to wishing death on people and rape comments, know that some racism made it in there, too. (I know “Muslim” is a religion descriptor and not a race, but I’m willing to bet it’s all the same to this guy.)
Here’s the nonsense of twitter bans…an example of Rob’s earlier attacks . He created a new account, same real name pic.twitter.com/sW9pKBbZqS
— Peter Moore (@petermooreEA) December 10, 2014
Because when you want to attack a white guy it gets kind of confusing how to proceed, so just throw scattershot, tangential insults at any less privileged group you can think of. In fact, when I tweeted that, unlike my female coworkers here at The Mary Sue, I’d never been harassed over anything I’d written, someone tried to prove me wrong with a similar, very NSFW approach that I won’t link here.
And that last tweet is actually the main reason that Twitter’s response may be off base, too. Twitter’s rules state, “You may not create multiple accounts for disruptive or abusive purposes, or with overlapping use cases.” If this person created multiple accounts for the purpose of continuing harassment, that’s a clear violation.
But hopefully, with Moore’s tweets, Twitter’s new ability to report harassment of other users will help the situation.
@xbox_gamer87 @petermooreEA reported and other folks should do the same. pic.twitter.com/IohVy2euUt
— null (@Null78) December 10, 2014
And let this be a way to remind everyone: if you see harassing tweets directed at anyone, you don’t have to sit back and hope Twitter will listen to that person anymore. You can help them out and report it yourself.
(via Mashable)
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Seattle Mayor Ed Murray Tells Archie McPhee They May Keep a Unicorn in Their Parking Lot
.@Mayor_Ed_Murray If we manage to get a unicorn, can we have your permission to keep it in our parking lot? #fingerscrossed
— Archie McPhee (@archiemcphee) December 8, 2014
@archiemcphee Yes you can, but we'll have to figure out the permits.
— Ed Murray (@Mayor_Ed_Murray) December 9, 2014
On Monday, the good people at Seattle-based novelty dealer Archie McPhee posted a Twitter message asking Seattle mayor Ed Murray if they could keep a unicorn in their parking lot (provided they could find one). In short order, the mayor said yes–with the stipulation that the necessary permits would have to be sorted out. Archie McPhee has since posted a Notice of Proposed Land Use sign for their mayor-approved “unicorn playland.”
photos via Archie McPhee’s Endless Geyser of Awesome
submitted via Laughing Squid Tips
abrunetteandherbourbon: entertainmentweekly: Yup, we took...
Yup, we took Stephen Colbert out in New York City dressed as your (and his) favorite The Hobbit characters.
It was amazing.Photo Credit: Ruven Alfanador for EW
Omgomgomgomg
Nike unveils new uniforms for all 4 College Football Playoff teams
firehose'Alabama, Oregon, Florida State, and Ohio State are all Nike schools'
'14 of the 16 BCS titles were won by Nike schools'
These are the home versions of the digs these teams will wear in the Rose, Sugar, and championship games.
Nike has unveiled the home uniforms for the four teams set to play in the inaugural College Football Playoff. Alabama, Oregon, Florida State, and Ohio State are all Nike schools, and each will wear uniforms with a diamond-colored swoosh to symbolize the championship ring.
Oregon will be going a bit old school with their design, going back to the giant O helmet. For the most part, all of the teams' uniforms look pretty close to their normal get-ups, with the addition of that diamond swoosh. Alabama has a base layer (aka undershirt) with "mantras, quotes, and team inspirations" that also happens to look like an elephant's skin. Ohio State's base layer and gloves include handwritten notes from former head coach Woody Hayes.
Alabama
/cdn0.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/2532732/bamaquotes.0.png)
Oregon
/cdn0.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/2532742/oregonhelmet.0.png)
Florida State
/cdn0.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/2532756/fsuswoosh.0.png)
Ohio State
/cdn0.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/2532760/ohiostategloves.0.png)
The teams will be wearing some special cleats, as well.
Each pair of cleats worn by players in college football playoff were made using 5 recycled plastic bottles pic.twitter.com/ApKcSxois4
— Drren Rvell (@darrenrovell) December 9, 2014
As ESPN points out, 14 of the 16 BCS titles were won by Nike schools, so the all-Nike playoff lineup isn't unusual.
Critics Worried New CIA Report Puts U.S. At Considerable Risk Of Transparency
NFLPA, NFL at odds over new personal conduct policy
firehosefuck goodell
"On Sept. 10, two days after the second Rice tape was released, Goodell's team huddled into the night in an effort to figure out "ways to prove the commissioner wasn't covering up" for Rice. They ordered pizza, but nobody ate any because they waited for their boss to eat first. Not a good idea. Goodell was obviously more concerned with saving himself to eat, so nobody ate.
During a subsequent meeting, the WSJ reports that Goodell called his daughters to tell them that he would be home for dinner, which makes you wonder if they got to eat that night."
The NFL owners unanimously approved a new personal conduct policy, but the NFLPA has blasted the league for being unwilling to negotiate.
NFL owners are meeting in Dallas on Wednesday to discuss a final version of the league's new personal conduct policy. On Wednesday morning, the Wall Street Journal released a behind-the-scenes report covering commissioner Roger Goodell's journey to this point, telling the story from Goodell's perspective. It's filled with highlights about just how seriously he takes his duty to The Shield, from long nights without pizza to dutifully checking in on America's little people who clearly benefit from the NFL and the example it makes.
Some highlights:
The NFL turned away a proposal for thorough domestic violence training last year
A national non-profit group approached the league last year about conducting a domestic violence education program for players and personnel. The NFL turned them down.
An NFL executive told Esta Soler, president of Futures Without Violence, that the league preferred a short primer, she said.
The new policy, hashed out with owners in some of Manhattan's finest restaurants, is portrayed as one similar to the previous outside proposal, focused on education and prevention as much as player discipline. However, the NFLPA says differently. The union was mostly left out of the process to come up with the new policy.
Nobody gets pizza until Roger gets pizza
On Sept. 10, two days after the second Rice tape was released, Goodell's team huddled into the night in an effort to figure out "ways to prove the commissioner wasn't covering up" for Rice. They ordered pizza, but nobody ate any because they waited for their boss to eat first. Not a good idea. Goodell was obviously more concerned with saving himself to eat, so nobody ate.
During a subsequent meeting, the WSJ reports that Goodell called his daughters to tell them that he would be home for dinner, which makes you wonder if they got to eat that night.
Goodell can call you anytime he wants
Hungry and desperate for an answer, Jeff Pash, the NFL's general counsel, floated Robert Mueller to run an independent investigation to clear Goodell get to the bottom of the league's handling of the Rice case. It was late in the night. Goodell insisted they call Mueller anyway.
Other CEOs tell Goodell what to do
Remember the commissioner's rambling press conference apology that was heavy on filler? The CEO of General Electric, Jeff Immelt, suggested he do that.
Mike Singletary is helping shape NFL conduct policy
Goodell got former players to weigh in on what the league should do ... not the NFLPA, the legal representation for players, just some former players, including Mike Singletary, also a former head coach. Samurai Mike made a very strong point during a meeting with the commissioner, suggesting The Shield take a heavy-handed approach, slapping the NFL logo on the conference table and saying,
"This means excellence. If a player isn't living up to that standard, he shouldn't be part of the NFL brand."
We can only assume Singletary kept his pants on to make that point.
Roger Goodell occasionally checks in on the salt of the Earth
Chastened, the commissioner traveled to Austin to see the National Domestic Violence Hotline in action. He heard one caller's story about being abused, and it shocked him enough that he couldn't even take a glass of wine with his dinner that evening. Instead, he told the waiter, "I need a stiff drink."
He really is sorry, really
The story makes it clear that Goodell regrets not doing enough in the past when a player was involved in a domestic violence incident.
When you consider the report from Don Van Natta Jr. and Kevin Van Valkenburg of ESPN's OTL released back in September hours after Goodell's Frank Luntz-engineered mea culpa press conference, with the Ravens owner pushing to keep Rice's suspension minimal (it involved golfing at Augusta!), it sounds like the CYA version of saying you misunderstood the power and reach of TMZ.
bnoos: wikipedia literally goes out of their way to find the most god awful pictures of people
firehosevia Toaster Strudel
wikipedia literally goes out of their way to find the most god awful pictures of people
donrickles: the sony leak has been my favorite thing all week,...
firehosevia Toaster Strudel
the sony leak has been my favorite thing all week, it has everything i hate about the movie industry. if you’re ever like “well, movie studios know what they are doing,” remember that this is an official sony document on how to market the movie grown ups 2.
snoozlebee: rectumofglory: I’M SCREAMING this is all i want...
firehosevia Toaster Strudel
erathem: my favorite twitter account at the moment is @wikisext, a bot that tweets sexts based on...
firehosevia Toaster Strudel
beesmygod: takeiteasysatan: beesmygod: why dont the assassins creeds go back in time and kill...
firehosevia Toaster Strudel
why dont the assassins creeds go back in time and kill some dinosaurs
okay FIRST OF ALL you FUCKING CASUAL thats not even how it works!! they dont physically travel back in time, but have vivid hallucinations of time travel thanks to the magic of technology and agent pre-human godspecies!!!!!
why dont the assassin creeds just fly the eagles into the pope
Harvard's Ben Edelman, Web Sheriff, May Have a Conflict or Two - Businessweek
The Harvard economist who fought a $4 Chinese food charge values his time at $12 an hour - Vox
BBC News - Rosetta results: Comets 'did not bring water to Earth'
firehosehed: "Comets 'did not bring water to Earth'"
story: " The authors conclude it is more likely that the water came from asteroids, but other scientists say more data is needed before comets can be ruled out."