firehose

An underage congressional intern rolled into work two hours late this morning, "absolutely hammered," "reeking of booze," and vigorously declaring his love for failed vice-presidential candidate Paul Ryan. Things only got funnier from there.

Image of June/EPDX archives

E. Burnside's June Restaurant called it quits over the weekend after a three-year run on East Burnside. According to a Facebook announcement just posted this afternoon, chef/owner Greg Perrault closed the doors last Saturday "for good," writing:

"Thank you everyone for your support over the last 3 years, it has truly been a pleasure for us. As of last Saturday we have closed our doors for good. What the future has in store is unknown, but we wouldn't have it any other way."

June opened in early August 2010 with a team of Perrault (previously of DOC), Daniel Mondok, and bartender Kelly Swenson, the latter of whom have long decamped for other projects. The restaurant was recently voted one of Portland's "most underrated restaurants" by Eater readers, despite just-as-recent mixed reviews. More information as it becomes available.
· All Previous June Coverage [Eater PDX]

Belly pillow, butt pillow - photos by Yuji Mori

I wanted to post something sweet after sharing that mean vine, and then I remembered it’s been years since I last posted #handholding photos from Mori’s collection. Look at how much this kid has grown since that 2009 pic (these were taken in 2011)!

I don’t know how one could page through Mori’s photos and not want to be part of that family.

SEE ALSO More handholding posts (our handheld gamer photo series)

With the economy showing moderate signs of improvement and definitely no longer vulnerable to the wildly unchecked aspirations of the American consumer, the Style Network believes the time is nigh for a reboot of Lifestyles Of The Rich And Famous. The series devoted to lavishing envious awe on the carefree spending of the wealthiest people in the world will begin shooting new episodes in the fall, replacing original host Robin Leach with omnipresent host Nick Cannon, during one of his few waking hours not spent hosting something else. The Hollywood Reporter says the show will bring an updated glimpse into “the homes of dot-com money, hip-hop fame, one-hit wonders and old money glitz” not seen elsewhere in Cribs, the Real Housewives franchise, myriad other reality series and gossip blogs, or the dangerous self-delusions of a society repeatedly encouraged to live well beyond its means.

“I want to remind people that ...

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This should be a basic law of the Internet, if it isn't already.

It's what we do in RSS, or any XML-based format. If you encounter something you don't understand, don't worry, just ignore it. The person who put it there was depending on you doing that. You shouldn't call it an error. No need to freak out.

You don't have to understand everything. No one does! :-)

This is one of those universal rules, much larger than just for techies. When we first introduced RSS, I wanted to link to the feed directly from my home page, with a little white on orange XML icon. The browser guys said "This won't do, people will see it and freak out." So they obscured it. Tried to make it look like a web page. It had the exact same content as the page you came from, but without the color and layout. It was even more confusing. Funny how that works.

When you make something look like something it isn't people get confused.

Imagine if you lifted the hood on your car, and instead of seeing an engine, a battery, a bunch of wires and tubes that you have no idea what they do (if you're like me) you saw another car interior. Seats, a steering wheel, a radio, etc. What would you think of that?

I like machinery that looks like machinery. I like the fact that I can lift the hood on my car and see what's in there. Maybe someday I'll be inspired to learn how it works. And then I'll know how to find it. In the meantime, because I don't understand it, I just ignore it.

• People, living their daily lives, have "ignore what you don't understand" experiences all day every day. It's how you keep your sanity in our complex multi-level reality.

I encounter that in the user community for "Fargo", which is a very diverse group of people, with widely varying interests and skills. Some are writers, and use the tools at a totally conceptual level, and others aren't writers at all, and like the software because it's like a Lego set, where you can put the pieces together in a lot of different ways. Because they all use the same tools, we get to have fun together. But sometimes the writers think they have to understand something technical. I try to say that they don't have to understand it -- but someone has to understand it for the whole thing to work.

So the rule applies to our user community. There's never any harm in asking what something's about. Anyone can understand any of it, with enough time and work. But if you don't understand something, feel free to ignore it. ;-)

I went crazy on twitter last night. I was doing some fiction writing (non rpg) when I suddenly stopped and thought about how I really haven’t been doing my job as “newbiedm”, which basically is to try and help new dm’s do their job right. So I started tweeting tips. And before I knew it, I had 20, then 30, until I ended the night with 87 tips delivered through twitter.

So here they are, for posterity. I hope you find them useful.  Expanding on each of these tips  can be blog posts on their own, and I may do that.  You may not agree with everything here, so feel free to comment below or add your own.

1. Remember when you were the kid who fell in love with #dnd the first time you played? Write adventures for that kid. #rpg
2. That annoying guy in real life? Put him in your adventure. He’s obviously memorable. #dnd #rpg
3. Don’t give npc’s too much small talk. Get to the point, or I may miss something important. #dnd #rpg
4. Your BBEG (and each PC) has a huge emotional crutch. What is it? #dnd #rpg
5. Signs your adventure may be sexist: you describe the clothes of every female npc in the world, but not the males. :) #dnd #rpg
6. If my character’s having visions, it better pay off down the line. Otherwise you’ve wasted our time. #dnd #rpg
7. Full page of description text? Not unless your name is Gary Gygax. #dnd #rpg
8. Ask yourself if you’d be excited about being a player in your own campaign. If you’d pick something else, back to drawing board. #dnd #rpg
9. Stop showing off what a good writer you think you are. I want a description of the area, not 10 pages of your lore. #dnd #rpg
10. Everyone’s fought some evil cult. Gimme something interesting. #dnd #rpg
11. “I don’t know” is not in the dm’s vocabulary. You have to know or I’m leaving. #dnd #rpg
12. If I hear that your npc is “the most incredible swordsmith in town”, I better see why. #dnd #rpg
13. Go heavy on what something feels like rather than what something looks like. #dnd #rpg
14. Swap genres to surprise your players. Serious campaign? Add a bit of comedy to lighten the mood. #dnd #rpg
15. I don’t want to hear about my destiny. My character is disposable and better not figure into your meta plot, otherwise I’ll know I live and challenges will be worthless… #dnd #rpg
16. Loot is earned, not found #dnd #rpg
17. The smaller the dungeon, the larger the pressure. #dnd #rpg :)
18. If you’re going to introduce a thieves guild, for example, have a basic idea of how one may work. I might ask you questions. #dnd #rpg
19. The only original thing in this adventure is you. You make these tired plots and monsters come to life like nobody else can. #dnd #rpg
20. Is your opening scene set at the local inn? Change your opening scene. #dnd #rpg
21. The more you draw it out, the more amazeballs your adventure’s ending has to be. We want a payoff! #dnd #rpg
22. Need a time out? Take a time out. DMing isn’t a job, it’s supposed to be fun. #rpg #dnd
23. Believe in your argument if you are violating the laws of physics. “Magic!” is sometimes stupid. #dnd #rpg
24. There’s a fine line between a buffoon, and an npc who couldn’t possibly function in a fantasy world or otherwise. #dnd #rpg
25. Adventure getting boring? Come up with something that makes them say “what the hell just happened?”. #dnd #rpg
26. The worst aging thing you can write is comedy. The clever lines in your older adventures? Check them before you run them again. :) #dnd #rpg
27. Stop telling me what you’re seeing in *your* head, dm. Describe the scene and let my mind take care of the rest. #dnd #rpg
28. What does your BBEG gain in each encounter before the players? He better gain something if they lose. #dnd #rpg
29. A rule’s in the way of something cool you want to try? Break it. But it better be cool. #dnd #rpg
30. You stopped and showed us “an important rare sword” in your adventure? Somebody better swing it. #dnd #rpg
31. Slow down and describe the smallest details only when it’s relevant to the character’s choices. Otherwise get on with it. #dnd #rpg
32. Quick npc voice on the spot? Think of a celebrity. Imitate him. #rpg #dnd
33. Tell the players what their character sees, and not what you want them to think is going on. #dnd #rpg
34. Not every bad guy GROWLS at the pc’s. Some of the best bad guys are calm and collected. #dnd #rpg
35. The best monsters have some sort of emotion. #dnd #rpg
36. Hide your boring exposition. It doesn’t always have to be the old man in the inn you sets the party off. Maybe it’s a few things. #dnd #rpg
37. “Oh, your setting has something cool!? I better see it.” #dnd #rpg
38. “cold, icy gaze” is a better way to describe your BBEG than just saying he has “blue eyes”. #dnd #rpg
39. Be ready to answer random questions about your setting. #dnd #rpg
40. If you can’t tell yourself why that encounter is there, then it shouldn’t exist. Kill it. #dnd #rpg
41. Atmosphere isn’t in the environment, but rather in how that environment affects and challenges the pc’s. #dnd #rpg
42. Every single pc at that table should have something to lose in this adventure. #dnd #rpg
43. Your npc’s are better off without that extra dialogue you want to add that you think is clever. #dnd #rpg
44. Make your pc’s create their own worst enemy. #dnd #rpg
45. First question to start off your new campaign: “What kind of encounters do you all wanna see?” Chances are, you won’t go wrong. #dnd #rpg
46. We’ve seen orcs before. What is it about *these* orcs…? #dnd #rpg
47. Your story better hook me from the start. Don’t have my character walking in circles trying to figure out what to do to get going. #rpg #dnd
48. Once your pc’s catch their breath and think they’re okay–make sure they’re not! #dnd #rpg
49. Build your adventure up towards its most important moment, the “oh shit!” moment. #dnd #rpg
50. Sacrifices have to be done by npc’s the players care about. Otherwise it’s just bullshit that players will laugh about. #dnd #rpg
51. Not everyone is a philosopher. NPCs have to be real. #dnd #rpg
52. Don’t make me do more math when I’m playing #dnd. “25 years ago” sounds better described to me than “in the year 235 of the Empirium”
53. If you point out a place in your world, you bet I’m going to go there. Be ready. #dnd #rpg
54. A good bad guy will make your pc’s cross a line they thought they wouldn’t. #dnd #rpg
55. A good first impression will hook me. Make the opening of your game pop! #dnd #rpg
56. Interesting worlds have interesting npc’s. One line of dialogue can make the difference. #dnd #rpg
57. Your character’s power isn’t what’s interesting & important. But rather what you choose to do with it. #dnd #rpg
58. Your players should be safe before they leave town, and when they come back to town. Otherwise they should always be in peril. #dnd #rpg
59. Be fair. The hardest choice the pc’s make should be the right choice. #dnd #rpg
60.  A good guy turned bad guy who we used to know hurts more than a bad guy we just met. Go for their gut. #dnd #rpg
61. You want your players “uncertain” about what’s happening, not “confused”. #dnd #rpg
62. Nobody really screams “Nooooooo!” #dnd #rpg
63. When describing, you’re not “explaining”. You’re “convincing”. #dnd #rpg
64. Make bad player choices mean something. Up the ante. #dnd #rpg
65. It’s cool if a few npc’s joke around or act like jerks all the time. It’s stupid if they *all* do it. #dnd #rpg
66. Know your BBEG first before you even know what he’s planning. #dnd #rpg
67. When playing in a licensed setting, find a way to leave your mark in that world. It’ll make it memorable. I have my SW dragon. :) #rpg
68. Your npc’s need to speak a lot less than you think. #dnd #rpg
69. Don’t go for the predictable. That road leads down to evil cultists sacrificing people at the bottom of a dungeon. #dnd #rpg
70. Flashbacks in an adventure: A good one will raise a question while answering another. #dnd #rpg
71. Go back to your older discarded ideas. There may be something there now for you. #dnd #rpg
72. Horror: Easier to shock than it is to truly disturb. Go for the latter. #dnd #rpg
73. If you can’t really describe well to the players where all the combatants are standing, this fight’s not gonna work. #dnd #rpg
74. Give the pc’s something they’ve never seen before. #dnd #rpg
75. Don’t save your cool stuff for your *next* session. Your players aren’t guaranteed to come back. :) #dnd #rpg
76. Your setting is interesting for how it challenges the players. Not for it’s history and its past. #dnd #rpg
77. Look at your first encounter. Now brainstorm a few ways to make it better. Move on to the second… #dnd #rpg
78. What’s the emotional anchor of each of your pc’s? Make sure you take it away from them. #dnd #rpg
79. The more your bad guy gets away with, the more your players will love him. #dnd #rpg
80. Let the PC’s breathe every now and then. Let them stop and emotionally feel something about their situation. #dnd #rpg
81. A good bad guy, a BBEG, isn’t just out to make your pc’s day worse. No, they make it personal. #dnd #rpg
82. How do you know you wouldn’t dm a particular genre well, if you’ve never tried it? #dnd #rpg
83. Your job is to convince players that the challenge they face is important and makes sense in your story. #dnd #rpg
84. if *you* don’t really love your BBEG, your players probably won’t either. Get him right. Make him memorable. #dnd #rpg
85. Don’t apologize for your weird setting or campaign idea. Own it, explain it, and make your players love it. #dnd #rpg
86. Don’t fret over eliminating large but unnecessary parts of your adventure. You created it, you can certainly destroy it. #rpg #dnd
87. Your set-piece battle isn’t memorable. How  fantastic your bad guys act and behave with the PC’s during the set piece, is. #dnd #rpg

follow me on twitter @newbiedm.

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If you would like to support NewbieDM.com, perhaps you’d consider visiting Amazon.com for your next rpg related purchase. Check out the following products:

Chessex Role Playing Play Mat: Battlemat Double-Sided Reversible Mat for RPGs and Miniature Figure Games (26 in x 23 1/2 in) Squares/Hexes

Dungeon Tiles Master Set – The City: An Essential Dungeons & Dragons Accessory (4th Edition D&D)

The Witchlight Fens – Dungeon Tiles: A 4th Edition Dungeons & Dragons Accessory (4th Edition D&D)

Thank You!

MALIBU, CA—Saying he had wanted to talk about the subject for years but feared it would damage his career, beloved entertainer Dick Van Dyke confessed Wednesday to being the infamous Zodiac Killer, the serial murderer who terrorized Northern Califor...

Stitched-soundwave of Love Will Tear Us Apart

Somehow, Fox News has managed to make the Reza Azlan interview situation even worse.

Maker Don McRae has created the Mug Marker, a crafty CNC machine made of cardboard that can draw patterns on mugs. McRae took the machine to Evil Mad Scientist Laboratories, who put the little robot through its paces and took photos of its construction.

images via Evil Mad Scientist Laboratories

Television ads are becoming increasingly unwelcome on television, with viewers becoming increasingly used to services like DVR and Netflix. Unfortunately, the often unreasonably loud advertisements are spreading from TV networks to social media. According to Bloomberg, Facebook's far reach and large user numbers during key times of day have led the company to decide to sell advertising spots for television ads. Worse yet, these ads will likely utilize the worst feature internet videos have to offer: Auto-play.

space-pics:

Michael Collins graffiti inside Apollo 11
http://space-pics.tumblr.com/

la-pitonisa-tropical:

Howl resting after a hard day’s work

Pow!

He recently tipped $3 on a takeout order at Del Mar Rendezvous, a Chinese restaurant in San Diego. The receipt with his tip and signature were leaked to "The Dirty," where he was ripped for being a "cheap [expletive] ... this is basically saying [expletive] you to the waiter." ... The owner of Del Mar Rendezvous passed along an apology and a donation to Brees' foundation in the amount of $888.88, which owner Daniel Shalom Schreiber said is the luckiest number in Chinese culture.

Quip is a cross-platform word processor that syncs documents across phones, tablets, and desktop PCs. The app allows users to collaborate on a single document, turn bulleted lists into checklists, and organize document edits and messages into threads. Quip is currently available to download from the iTunes App Store, a preview version of the in-development Android app is available to download from Google Play, and prospective users can sign up for an account on the Quip website.

images via Quip

Srsly tho, that Pokemon Tretta 3DS thing is huge

One of our commenters yesterday even compared the the token reader accessory to a CRT monitor. And look, you need to carry around a whole toolbox/shelf deal for all your tokens!

PREORDER Pokemon X and Y, upcoming releases

A wine opener usage George Orwell would approve of.

“When things get tough,” Neil Gaiman advised on in his fantastic commencement address on the creative life, “this is what you should do: Make good art. I’m serious. Husband runs off with a politician — make good art. Leg crushed and then eaten by a mutated boa constrictor — make good art. IRS on your trail — make good art. Cat exploded — make good art.” One could easily extrapolate, “Big Brother on your ass — make good art.” Amidst recent outcries against the present-day surveillance state we live in, what else is there to do but make good art? Cue in celebrated Chinese artist, provocateur, and human rights champion Ai Weiwei. From Do It: The Compendium (public library) — the fantastic collection of famous artists’ wide-ranging instructionals for art anyone can make based on 20 years of legendary curator and provocateur Hans Ulrich Obrist’s project of the same title, which also gave us David Lynch’s tutorial on how to make a Ricky Board — comes this antiauthoritarian creative project from Ai Weiwei, a DIY way to stick it — spray it, rather — to Big Brother:

CCTV SPRAY

How to make a spray device to block a surveillance camera:

Do you feel uncomfortable, confused, disgusted, or even irate because of a surveillance camera fixed at the wrong place? To block its view, spray-painting would be the best choice. It is highly accessible, inexpensive, and effective. Moreover, it is a perfect gesture in presenting street culture.

It is difficult to spray on a surveillance camera at a high place directly by hand. Instead of carrying a ladder on the streets, it is more practical to make an adjustable, easy-to-carry, and low-cost spray device.

It is best to use materials easily found from daily life to create this tool.

He goes on to list the materials needed — a spray bottle, a wine bottle opener, a bike bottle cage, a bike brake bar, a screw, and a stick — with the instruction to “choose materials that are as practical and reliable as possible” and are also “cheap and easy to obtain.” He then moves on to the step-by-step “Production Procedure”:

First find a long stick of suitable height. Considering portability, a collapsible tree pruner is recommended. Then select a stable frame that can secure a bottle or a can. For example, a bottle cage for bicycles would be a good fit. After that, find a trigger and fix it at the top of the stick. A wine bottle opener is a good choice, because its flexible lever structure can reduce the force and distance needed to press the spray nozzle.

We also need a linkage device to control the wine bottle opener at the top. A bicycle brake bar is an excellent choice.

Finally, prepare screws and nylon ropes as needed.

Under “Usage,” he instructs:

First fix the wine bottle opener at the top of the tree pruner (a.01).
Then set the spray can into the bottle cage. Make sure the handle of the bottle opener is affixed to the right position, where it gives easiest nozzle control. Use screws to secure the bottle cage (a.02). Fix the brake bar at the other end of the tree pruner (a.03).
Secure the spray paint can and use a nylon rope to fasten the flexible shaft (a.04).
Adjust the height of the stick. Then connect the handle of the bottle opener to the shaft of the brake (a.05–a.06).

The homemade adjustable spray device is now complete.

Complement this exercise in creative civic disobedience with BBC’s excellent Ai Weiwei: Without Fear or Favour.

Original Source

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NBCNews.com (blog)

Deputy shot, inmate critically wounded at Boston hospital NBCNews.com (blog) By M. Alex Johnson, Staff Writer, NBC News. A prisoner tried to wrestle a gun away from a sheriff's deputy Wednesday at a Boston hospital, firing a bullet into the deputy's leg, before a second deputy shot the inmate in the chest, authorities said. Both men, who ... Prisoner, sheriff shot at Mass. Eye and EarBoston Globe Inmate shoots cop at Boston hospital in struggle over gunWashington Times Prisoner Shoots Deputy Sheriff Inside Mass. Eye And EarCBS Local NorthJersey.com all 140 news articles »

Egill Gunnar backflips from one skateboard to another not once, but twice — after a few falls — in this video.

via UPROXX

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The post Time Magazine Covers Americans Weren’t Meant To See appeared first on Programming Fun Hub.

Menswear Dog Reinterpreted

Just when we think we’ve seen it all, the internet goes and does this. Felicity Sharpe, a 23 year old aspiring fashion designer & stylist decided to put her own twist on our favorite menswear mascot and dedicated a tumblr to reinterpreting MWD’s top looks for women. Best part is that she really knows what she’s doing, from the pieces she chooses to the way it’s organized and all neatly designed together. It’s an absolutely brilliant riff and one of the coolest things we’ve seen. Keep up the great work Felicity! All love from team MWD.

Visit her tumblr and polyvore for even more looks:

http://mensweardog-reinterpreted.tumblr.com 

http://fsharpe.polyvore.com

NEW YORK—As evidence of doping continues to mount against the 14-time MLB All-Star, reports surfaced Wednesday confirming that throughout the course of his 19-year career, Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez has sought steroids from roughly 4 in ...