firehose
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05 Nov 20:12
Castle, Storming the
by djempirical
Patron: “Hi, do you have The Princess Bride 2?”
Me: “No, I’m sorry, that movie doesn’t exist.”
Patron [disappointed]: “I checked at all the other libraries and they don’t have it either.”
Me: “Yeah, that’s because it doesn’t exist. Sadly, they never made one.”
Patron: “Well, I guess I’ll just keep looking.”
Me: “Uh, okay. Good luck storming the castle!”
firehose and -1 others like this
05 Nov 19:59
How To Write The Worst Possible Column About Millennials
So, you've committed to writing an anxious and hand-wringing newspaper column about the State of Millennials. Congratulations! But be warned. You are competing in a highly competitive sub-industry of journalism, so it's important to distinguish yourself in both style and substance.
firehose likes this
05 Nov 19:24
Wilson Writes the New Ms. Marvel, a Teenage Muslim Shape-Shifter
firehoseG. Willow Wilson!
Marvel Comics has unveiled a new Ms. Marvel, a teenage Muslim girl named Kamala Khan, who will star in a series written by G. Willow Wilson. UPDATED with cover and more info.
05 Nov 19:21
Stolen Adobe Passwords Were Encrypted, Not Hashed
by timothy
rjmarvin writes "The hits keep coming in the massive Adobe breach. It turns out the millions of passwords stolen in the hack reported last month that compromised over 38 million users and source code of many Adobe products were protected using outdated encryption security instead of the best practice of hashing. Adobe admitted the hack targeted a backup system that had not been updated, leaving the hacked passwords more vulnerable to brute-force cracking." 
Read more of this story at Slashdot.
Ronald.phillips, firehose likes this
05 Nov 19:21
So Wait... Now We're Teaching Robots to CHEAT?!?
by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey
Look. I've seen enough of these robot development videos to be okay with the fact that they will one day be our overlords, and will almost certainly crush my skull beneath their big metallic feet. I CAN LIVE WITH THAT. What I'm having trouble living with is that scientists are now teaching robots to cheat at "Rock, Paper, Scissors" and... what the fuck??? I have to get my head crushed AND lose at "Rock, Paper, Scissors"??? Here's the BBC report on the robot that wins at "Rock, Paper, Scissors" every stinking time:
It uses high-speed recognition and reaction, rather than prediction.
Technically, the robot cheats because it reacts extremely quickly to what the human hand is doing rather than making a premeditated simultaneous action as the rules state.
Taking just one millisecond (ms) - a thousandth of a second - to recognise what shape the human hand is making, it then chooses a winning move and reacts at high speed.
Now watch the goddamn cheating robot in action!
BOOOOOOOOO, CHEATING ROBOT! BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
firehose and -1 others like this
05 Nov 19:20
Sweater Time
by Marjorie Skinner
firehose5. Husky boys section of Target
Sweaters: it's time. For some reason, I rarely buy them, but I wear the ones I do have constantly during the winter. It gets boring. Let's work on this.
1. Vintage at Yo Vintage!
2. Nic + Zoe at Mabel & Zora
3. Mojave
4. Carolyn Hart at Radish Underground
05 Nov 19:17
Google Trends - Web Search interest: doge - Worldwide, 2004 - present
by gguillotte
firehosevery vertical
wow
firehose likes this
05 Nov 19:11
How The Houston Cop Who Killed An Unarmed, Disabled Man Was Found Innocent
firehosenever go
On October 24, the Houston Police Department announced the results of its yearlong investigation into the shooting death of Brian Claunch, a mentally ill double amputee killed by an officer last September after refusing to drop a pen. HPD cleared the officer, Matthew Marin, of any wrongdoing.
05 Nov 19:11
Male Novelist Jokes
firehoseQ: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: [4000 words from the narrator about his feelings on his childhood circumcision]
Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: You wouldn’t understand.
Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: “The cocaine isn’t the point. The cocaine is a metaphor,” he explained wearily over the pile of cocaine. She folded her arms. She didn’t understand his cocaine. “Didn’t you read my manifesto?” The prostitute had read his manifesto. Why couldn’t she?
Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: War is hell.
05 Nov 19:09
Film: For Our Consideration: Why Last Action Hero failed—and why it deserves to be rediscovered
by Ignatiy Vishnevetsky
firehoseco-signed; the only non-Terminator Schwarzenegger movie I would earnestly want to watch again
"Clearly, if there’s something at the core of the movie, it isn’t being expressed through the plot (which is self-consciously generic) or the characterizations. And since pure escapist fluff doesn’t exist, that something has to be contained in the movie’s comic sensibility, in the perspective-less elasticity of the style. ... Within the space of a few minutes, the movie goes from a fictional reality to a real fiction to a fictional fiction to a cartoon and then back to the fictional reality again, all in the service of gags and “visual melodies.” The fog around Elsinore turns into a puff of cartoon smoke. As fiction, it’s messy and nonsensical. As filmmaking, it’s pure."
Arnold Schwarzenegger has built his career on negating suspension of disbelief. He plays characters with comically Anglo names like Ben Richards and Howard Langston, despite looking and sounding exactly like an Austrian ex-bodybuilder. He’s good at squinting, smirking, and standing up while keeping his back straight, but not at convincing the viewer that he’s anyone other than Arnold Schwarzenegger.
His screen appeal lies in his un-believability. He’s incapable of disappearing into a role (though he comes close in The Terminator). Instead of becoming the character, the character becomes him. That’s the central conceit of his comedies; the humor depends on the viewer recognizing Schwarzenegger and thinking that it’s funny to see him do something un-Schwarzeneggerian. This is also the reason why most of his comedies are pretty bad.
Yet, despite his non-existent range, Schwarzenegger has continually taken on projects that either cast him as a ...
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05 Nov 19:01
Music: Fear Of A Punk Decade: In 1993, riot grrrl stormed punk’s boys’ club
by Jason Heller
She stalked the stage of Boulder’s Fox Theatre, her dress dingy and her feet bare. The name of her band was Cavity: two women and two men. Lorrie was the singer, a force of nature in thrift-store clothes and wild hair. “You think that you can touch me?” she snarled that night in the summer of 1993, her voice full of taunting animosity. “N-n-n-n-no-no, NO CAN DO.” It wasn’t a warning or even a proclamation as much as it was a simple statement of fact: Her body—her person—was not at your disposal.
The song, “No Can Do,” appeared on a 7-inch single titled “Crestfallen” that the Boulder-based Cavity released in ’93. I fucking loved that single. I’d just begun working at Wax Trax, Denver’s oldest underground record store (which, I’m happy to report, is still around), and the promotional poster for Cavity’s ...
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firehose and -1 others like this
05 Nov 18:57
'I Have Smoked Crack Cocaine'
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford finally admits that he has smoked crack cocaine.
05 Nov 18:55
Stephen Colbert's Newest Tweet Machine!
by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey
Fox News has been having a rough time of it lately—for allegedly creating false Twitter accounts to bolster their image, and for... you know... lying all the time. Luckily for them Stephen Colbert is there to help them out by setting up a brand new Twitter account called @RealHumanPraise, which substitutes Fox News anchors into lines from positive movie reviews... every two minutes! Watch his explanation here, and check out the small hilarious sampling below!
Mike Huckabee's haunting, hallucinatory Vietnam War epic is punditry at its most audacious and visionary. #PraiseFOX
— Real Human Praise (@RealHumanPraise) November 5, 2013
Beautifully written and anchored by the great Sean Hannity, bittersweet and heartfelt, this is sheer delight. #PraiseFOX
— Real Human Praise (@RealHumanPraise) November 5, 2013
History may be written by the winners, but On the Record with Greta Van Susterens tells the story of life's lovable losers #PraiseFOX
— Real Human Praise (@RealHumanPraise) November 5, 2013
If this doesn't rescue Fox News, nothing will! Read 'em all here!
05 Nov 18:54
Ryan Ferguson Update: Conviction vacated for Mo. man jailed for nearly 10 years - CBS News
NBCNews.com |
Ryan Ferguson Update: Conviction vacated for Mo. man jailed for nearly 10 years CBS News (CBS) KANSAS CITY, Mo. - Ryan Ferguson, the Mo. man imprisoned for nearly a decade for a murder he says he didn't commit, had his conviction vacated Tuesday by an appeals court. It's not clear whether the state will seek to re-try him. PICTURES: Inside ... Ferguson conviction overturned by Court of AppealsKRCG Appeals court overturns Ryan Ferguson's convictionsColumbia Daily Tribune all 28 news articles » |
05 Nov 18:52
Need to get a bunch of data onto Windows Azure? FedEx your hard drives
by Peter Bright
There's an old saw in computer science that one should never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes "hurtling down the highway." In this modern cloud era, the preferred storage medium may be hard disk, and the disks may be traveling by FedEx rather than in the back of a car, but the essential truth remains: as fast as networks may be, physically moving mass storage devices around can still be faster.
Following the lead of both Google and Amazon, Microsoft is now opening up Azure to allow data upload by truck. Still in preview, the new Azure Import/Export service allows users of Microsoft's cloud service to send and receive hard disks to and from Azure data centers to perform bulk transfers.
In line with the competing services from Google and Amazon, Microsoft will charge $80 per drive. Drives must be SATA and can be up to 4TB each. The drives must also be encrypted using BitLocker and formatted using NTFS. Shipping the drives is all handled by FedEx.
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05 Nov 18:51
iPad Air profit margins reportedly range from 45 to 61 percent
by Andrew Cunningham
firehose"Using iSuppli's numbers, this means Apple is charging about $300 for $60 of flash storage."
Andrew Cunningham
Apple's newest tablet, the iPad Air, sells for anywhere between $499 and $929, and the iPad has been sold in this general price range for about as long as it has been around. A new teardown and cost analysis report by IHS iSuppli (reported by AllThingsD) estimates that the tablet only costs between $274 and $361 to build, delivering profit margins between 45 and 61 percent for Apple.
The tablet's 9.7-inch 2048×1536 display is the single costliest component of the tablet at about $133 ($90 for the display itself and $43 for the touch components). The cost has been driven up by the same changes that have allowed Apple to make the tablet thinner and lighter than the previous Retina iPad: fewer layers of glass are required to enable touch, and fewer LEDs are required to light the screen. iSuppli reports that 36 LEDs are used to light the new display rather than the 84 LED lights used in the earlier Retina iPads. Layers of optical film are used to dissipate the light from those LEDs, reducing the number of lights needed and enabling Apple to shrink the battery.
Other notable components include the A7 chip (estimated to cost about $18), the 1GB of RAM (about $10), and the NAND flash chips (anywhere from $9 to $60, depending on the capacity). Those NAND chips in particular are a huge profit driver since Apple charges $100 to upgrade from 16GB to 32GB, another $100 to move from 32GB to 64GB, and yet another $100 to jump from 64GB to 128GB. Using iSuppli's numbers, this means Apple is charging about $300 for $60 of flash storage.
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05 Nov 18:48
Adult Wednesday Addams
by Frl_Sonntag
firehosevia Snorkmaiden
Click here to view the embedded video.
Click here to view the embedded video.
Natürlich gibt es nur eine wahre Wednesday Addams, aber Melissa Hunter macht das in ihrer kleinen Youtube Serie schon sehr gut.
05 Nov 18:37
"I had originally not wanted to see Galaxy Quest because I heard that it was making fun of Star Trek,..."
“I had originally not wanted to see Galaxy Quest because I heard that it was making fun of Star Trek, and then Jonathan Frakes rang me up and said ‘You must not miss this movie! See it on a Saturday night in a full theatre.’ And I did, and of course I found it was brilliant. Brilliant. No one laughed louder or longer in the cinema than I did, but the idea that the ship was saved and all of our heroes in that movie were saved simply by the fact that there were fans who did understand the scientific principles on which the ship worked was absolutely wonderful. And it was both funny and also touching in that it paid tribute to the dedication of these fans.”
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Patrick Stewart on “Galaxy Quest” (via ussawesome)
galaxy quest is a genuinely good and wonderful and touching film imo and is vastly underrated
(via 3liza)
Also according to a survey of Star Trek fans, it’s still a better Star Trek movie than Into Darkness
(via thestoutorialist)
Hartman.marcus, Rmahmud77 likes this
05 Nov 18:36
chicklikemeblog: "I mean sure we get a lot of our prayers...
firehosevia GN
attn: saucie, wrt the neighbors
"I mean sure we get a lot of our prayers answered but damned if our babies don’t keep getting carried off by goblins…"
Tomfhaines, firehose and -1 others like this
05 Nov 18:21
Fox wants to make a third Wolverine movie
by Meredith Woerner
firehoseshared for photo
The last Wolverine film was infinitely better than the first. So obviously that means Fox has to make 1,000 more of them. But do we really need another Wolverine movie?
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