firehose

in case you didn’t notice. (or maybe i didn’t)

yay!

#hitodd

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pizzoner:

mayra-quijotesca:

trustisforfools:

mrspiritual:

musicalpandas:

gainingconfidencexo:

havocados:

emorenita:

why aren’t these being reblogged more often?
i rather see these than “keys in hand”

Fatality

Umm so since I’m stupid could someone kindly explain each step for me like step 3 am i head butting him in the face or the chest? 

I think it depends on the height of the person, but I suppose the head is a more effective target. I hope this helps :)

Step 1: Step back the moment he reaches for you.

Step 2: Duck!

Step 3: Head butt him in the chin. It’s very important that it is the chin and not the chest because it is much more uncomfortable and disorienting to have your teeth bang together especially if it cuts his tongue (which it will if it is in the way). More than likely height won’t matter. He will be leaning forward from the missed attempt at grabbing you.

Step 4: Knee him in the balls.

Step 5: When he doubles over, jab him on his back. I believe at the base of the neck just above the shoulder blades would be best. I’m not an expert, but this seems like the best place, imo.

Step 6: Don’t lose contact. Bring your other hand over and slam your hands against the sides of his heads as hard as possible. Right on the ears is the best place; it is extremely disorienting if done correctly. Then take his head and bring it down on your knee as you bring your knee up. It’s very important that you avoid the nose because if you knee his nose it will definitely break and more than likely the bones will stab his brain killing him, so aim for his mouth instead.

Step 7: Keep your knee up and bring your foot out to kick him over. Personally, I don’t like the image because it looks like she kicked him with her toes. You do not want to do that. Instead kick him with the ball or heel of your foot and put power behind it with a push.

Step 8: He is on the ground. You could probably stop here and he would get the picture, but if you really want to…Your leg is still in the air from the kick. With all your force slam the edge of your your heel on his side. It will be more effective if you lower your body first by bending at the knee of the leg your weight is on. Done right, you can break a rib or two.

reblogging again for that^

Reblogging for the steps in the image and the explanation in the comments. I don’t so much like the explanation on the image proper, but I appreciate the thought behind it (here, have a self-defense thing, it could save you) and so I’m passing it on.

yes

One other note here: the ear smash should be done with cupped hands. You want to maximize the difference in air pressure between the outer and inner ears. Popping both the attacker’s eardrums will give him/her something else to think about, believe me.

Is that Ryo Hazuki driving an Outrun arcade cabinet? ⊟

I haven’t been paying attention to Sonic & All-Star Racing Transformed at all, but apparently it’s a top-tier kart racer? I don’t think I can disagree, not when it has Shenmue's Ryo Hazuki drifting in an Outrun cabinet (just like this crazy thing I wrote about three years ago).

It looks like this might be free DLC coming to the PC version, though I haven’t seen it ruled out for the console editions yet. There’s also a pic of Ryo riding a Hang-on sit-down machine in water. O_O

Credit to Wario64 for the GIF taken from the Yogscast Humble stream.

BUY Sonic and All-Stars Racing Transformed, holiday gift guide

I’m looking to hire a creative designer for a quick freelance assignment to create the design for a 3.75″H x 4″W printed insert for a charity event. Please email me at chris [at] smartfootball.com with a proposed price and a link to your portfolio. I can provide more details at that point.

Thanks so much.

Chris

The next time a college football coach complains about all the time he spends on recruiting, simply show him this Virginia coach's letter.

The Virginia Cavaliers have commitments from two five-star 2014 prospects. Mike London's staff is clearly talented at recruiting. Their secret? Play it cool.

So i opened this letter from coach london and I'm not really sure what it means haha. This is a new one coach L #UVA pic.twitter.com/IoydqDAs5j

— JF3-ERA (@jeffery_3) December 17, 2013

That's three-star Cavaliers commit Jeffery Farrar feeling the chillwaves wash over him.

Alternately, this is a terrifying thing to receive in the mail from a former undercover police detective. Mike London is a former undercover police detective. Either way, come play for UVa.

In terms of the best recruiting-letter oddities to be turned up by social media, how does this rank alongside Mississippi State's "Swag-O-Meter"? Mississippi State's "Can of Swag"? Mississippi State's "You're a Baller"? N.C. State's "You = Baller"? This mountain of correspondence? Rutgers' muscle man?

Previously, we tried to quantify just how much a "You're a Baller" letter is worth.

ht Streaking the Lawn

The 1980s anime series Space Adventure Cobra is finally getting a decent DVD/Blu-ray release from RightStuf, with English subtitles. And to celebrate, here's a brand new trailer, full of laser battles, space action, and scantily clad ladies.

Read more...

Malaga's Eliseu is very good at curling soccer balls.

This looks like a completely routine shot to the goalkeeper's right and OH CRAP!

(GIF credit: @bubbaprog)

Offsetting an odd number of route lines


Offsetting an even number of route lines

Tutorial: Creating Multiple Parallel Route Lines

Today’s tutorial comes from an anonymous question that I received in my Tumblr Inbox, which asked:

I design a bus transit map using a street layer. But how can i align correctly multiple lines on a street without overlap?

This is a great question. You’d be amazed how often I see people attempting to draw multiple parallel route lines manually, which is absolutely the most difficult way of doing things. You might be able to get away with it on a rectilinear transit map, but it’s almost impossible to get right when your route lines are overlaid on a standard road map – there are always curves and twists in the road that make it nigh-on impossible to manually draw adjacent route lines without things looking terrible.

For an example of a very poor attempt at drawing parallel route lines individually, you need look no further than the light rail map for Denver, Colorado (April 2013, 2 stars).

The most frustrating thing about seeing it done the wrong way is that there’s a tool in Adobe Illustrator that makes this task almost effortless.

Object Menu > Path > Offset Path…

The images above demonstrate how to offset route lines correctly – the first image shows how it’s done with an odd number of route lines; the second illustrates how to do it for an even number of route lines.

If you’ve drawn the street layer on your map yourself, then you’ve probably already got the first thing you need – a path that follows the centre of your street. Copy it and then Paste in Front (Cmd/Ctrl-F) so it sits exactly on top of the original. Then move it to its own layer above the street layer and stroke it the way you want your route lines to look. In my example, we’ve got an 8-point wide red route line. 

If you’re drawing your route lines on top of an aerial photo or Google Maps image, then you’re going to have to draw your own central route line. Be as accurate as possible while also using as few bezier points as you can. Again, put it on its own layer and make it look the way you want. Now the fun starts.

IF YOU NEED THREE ADJACENT ROUTE LINES (First image), then you’re going to use the central route line you already have, and use the Offset Path function to create a new route line on both sides at once. Select the path, then invoke the Offset Path command. In the resultant dialog box, enter the amount of offset you want, which is the desired distance between the paths. Here, I want a little gap to show between my 8-point route lines, so I entered 10 points. The middle part of the first image shows the results: Illustrator will offset your path to both sides of the line, so it’s basically done all the hard work for us. Now you just need to use the Scissor tool © to cut and then delete the pesky little joining lines that are created at the top and bottom (circled in blue in the image). From there, simply colour the route lines as required. If you need five, or seven, or more route lines, simply keep offsetting the outermost route lines by 10 points and then cutting the resulting new lines to only keep the outermost section each time.

IF YOU NEED TWO ADJACENT ROUTE LINES (Second Image), the process is almost the same, except that when you select and offset the original path, you only use half the required distance between route lines (in my example, 5 points). Then you can delete the original route line, keeping only the new offset paths, which now sit neatly on either side of the centre of the road. To create four, or six, or more route lines, continue to offset the outermost paths by 10 points as in the first example.

CNN

Coburn shows what $28 billion in government waste looks like CNN Washington (CNN) -- Q. What does NASA's "Green Ninja," calm wives and military weapons in Afghanistan have in common? A. They all made Republican Sen. Tom Coburn's annual book of government waste. The Oklahoma Republican, a devout believer in ... Sen. Coburn reports $30 billion in wasteful spending in 2013KRMG all 45 news articles »

And here’s the link to Imaginary Realities vol 5 issue 1!

For those who don’t know, Imaginary Realities is the mud-related journal originally published by David Bennett. It disappeared way back in 2001, but Richard Tew has resurrected it. I’ve already glanced through the first new set of articles, and there’s some interesting stuff there for both MUD devs and non-mudders, I think.

All the original issues are mirrored, so if you want to look at the stuff that ran from ’98 to ’01, it’s there too!

 

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Having coordinated the (temporary) rescue of yet another cat I am begging you not to get a kitten unless you are planning on a lifetime commitment (and hopefully the cat lasts longer than you). When you get an apt. and you get a kitten and then you have to do your hipster move or whatever and the new place doesn't take cats, or your roommates don't like cats, or you don't like the cat because it is no longer a cute little furball, who the fuck do you think gets it? OHS, Pixie, The Oregon Cat Project, etc. But they don't right now because they have no goddam fucking room you fucking piece of horseshit. So it comes down to some really dedicated folks who spend their time, money and resources to make sure that cat does not end up on the street or gets gassed. Think before you get a pet. Just please, for once in your life, bestir that damaged brain stem AND THINK. And if you can't do that, give the aforementioned charities plus the Feral Cat Coalition some of the money you were planning on spending on that fucking tat. "Tats for Cats!" Now that's hip!

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theatlantic:

Reminder: Acting is Work

It has been with much fanfare that Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen now share the stage for repertoire performances on Broadway. In No Man’s Land, Harold Pinter’s inscrutable work about life and memory, Stewart takes the role of Hirst, a successful essayist and literary critic. McKellen plays opposite Stewart as Spooner, an apparently failed poet and possible old friend and rival. On alternating nights, in Waiting for Godot, the philosophical exploration by Samuel Beckett, Stewart assumes the role of Estragon opposite McKellen’s Vladimir.

It’s not enough to say that each of these roles plays to the actors’ strengths. Rather, the roles reveal the sheer range of their talents and challenge the audience to wonder, what, if anything, are the actors’ weaknesses?

Read more. [Image: Cort Theater]

AFP

Obama jokes with tech execs about "House of Cards" CBS News Is the president of the United States privy to special previews of his favorite shows? Apparently not. Before getting down to business Tuesday in a meeting with executives from leading technology companies like Google, Apple and Facebook to discuss the ... Obama wishes real life Washington was like "House of Cards"AFP Tech giants get Obama's ear on NSAPolitico Obama wants a 'House of Cards'-style D.C.Daily Caller Mediaite -CNN (blog) -McClatchy Washington Bureau all 27 news articles »

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"It was motion capture, so I did roll around a bit on the carpet. He’s talking about the dragon porn that happened a little bit later, in the sort of third installment of our work together…they built the platform in the main soundstage at the post-production facility down in Wellington and it was great. It was sort of above [the floor] so I had this kind of thing of superiority. They built a wooden platform on stilts and they had this hard board that they’d padded with some foam and mats and stuff and on top of that they put this sheepskin. It was literally like 'Baum chicka baum baum,' me up on my Smaug-y platform. I was like, 'This is cool, I can slink around like a porn star dragon.'" - Benedict Cumberbatch speaking with L.A. Times' Heroes Complex about his time working on The Hobbit. Porn star dragon. This man, I swear... He went on to add...

toygeek writes "Earlier this year my family and I moved out into the woods, where high speed is simply not available. We traded in high speed for high latency, clean air and peace and quiet. We've made it work, and can even watch Netflix and Hulu while I'm off in another room working from home full time. Read along as I share some tips about how we've made it work, and the compromises we've had to make." It can be done; low-end DSL from AT&T is also what I somehow muddled through with for most of the last 18 months; though the connection often failed and the followup support was terrible, it worked well enough most of the time, and sure beat a 56K modem.

Read more of this story at Slashdot.

BigVig209 writes "In a follow-up to a story we discussed in May, the Chicago Tribune is reporting that London-based Datawind it will begin selling its $38 UbiSlate tablet computer in the U.S. early next year. 'The $38 7-inch touchscreen UbiSlate 7Ci tablet runs on Google's Android 4.0 and features a 1-gigahertz, single-core processor. It has 4 gigabytes of storage with microSD card slots for additional storage. The 7-inch display offers a resolution of 800x480 pixels.' The specs aren't the greatest, fastest, or most powerful, but, for under $50, they're still pretty decent."

Read more of this story at Slashdot.

Sometimes being selected in football and baseball isn't enough.

Russell Wilson just keeps getting drafted, doesn't he? First it's the Rockies, then the Seahawks, add in the Rangers and now Alaska Airlines can't keep their semi-frozen mitts off the debonair man about town.

Proud to join the @AlaskaAir team as their new Chief Football Officer. The Future is bright! #GoHawks #iflyAlaska pic.twitter.com/E1aKNNXgGn

— Russell Wilson (@DangeRussWilson) December 17, 2013

It's at the point now where Russ will get drafted simply by heading to a costume party. Dress like a zombie and suddenly he'll star in The Walking Dead.

Wilson should probably quit football and become a pilot.

The 14.04 "Trusty Tahr" operating system release will be the first version of Ubuntu Linux shipping SSD TRIM support by default...

Vets pull a tooth during an emergency operation on Simba the lion at Varna Zoo, Bulgaria. Photograph credit, REX.

Since losing the 2008 presidential election and almost completing a full term as governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin has remained on the edge of the national consciousness. She's like America's racist aunt; not evil, just painfully ignorant and around the holidays she usually opens her mouth and says something embarrassing.

Her newest book Good Tidings and Great Joy: Protecting the Heart of Christmas is like her others: a delightful read if you're able to disconnect the hate part of your brain and just focus on the imaginary world she creates. It's an amusing, Seussian world, featuring combinations of real and made-up words. "Obamacare death panels." "Lamestream media." And don't forget, "Liberal militant atheist secularists", the word-salad Grinches of her holiday diatribe. Instead of stealing Christmas with a Santa suit, they use what she calls "an extreme legal technicality" and other people might call "constitutional protection against establishment of state religion."

Her inability to use words correctly illustrates perfectly her disconnection from the world. My favorite example is her heartwarming story about Christmas 2012, which fell right after the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary. To celebrate the event (I guess?) she bought Todd Palin a gun for Christmas, which she referred to as an act of "civil disobedience". Not only is that a hilarious re-purposing of a term with a noble history, it's also a perfect misuse of BOTH WORDS. Buying guns is both legal and dangerous, making it an act of uncivil obedience.

But words are as far as she can think. At one point she gets so frustrated trying to put together complete thoughts (or reaching her publisher-required word count) she just starts spewing random words. "I've told you the power of words, so here are some good old fashioned words: Work. Honesty. Courage. Justice. Perseverance." If only somebody had told her the power of sentences!

If sentences are hard for her, logic is completely out of the question. Good Tidings reads like an exam question in Logical Fallacies 101. One third of the book is her vision of Christmas Yet To Come, in which she details all the horrible things that have happened because we lost respect for Jesusy Christmas. "You guys, in this future that I just made up, everything is terrible! So we should change."

Um, argument ad imaginarium? Good work, Alex. 10 points.

Here's how she deals with the fact that Christmas isn't historically Christian: "Does that mean Christians won the war on Saturnalia? You bet! And that shows the power of new traditions to shape culture." This in a book about how the way Christmas is being shaped by modern culture is inherently evil!

Argument self-contradictorium? Correct! 15 points.

And most importantly, she really wants to prove that belief in God makes one good and atheism makes one evil. "It was good Christians who opposed slavery and helped end segregation." And who was opposing them? Did I miss the part where a national coalition of atheists were pushing for slavery?

This one's actually got a real name, affirming a disjunct. 25 points!

Stores need to say Merry Christmas because that's the true meaning of the season but buying things isn't the meaning of Christmas so it doesn't matter what stores say but it's really important to them that you acknowledge their religion because words matter but militant atheists shouldn't get so easily offended by some simple words like "merry Christmas".

I'm just going to call that one argument ad Palinium for 50 points and an A+.

Again, she's not evil, she's just suffering from a major case of the stupids. The fun thing about reading Palin's books is she spent her life in a town of 9,000 and she doesn't read the news. When she feels attacked by The War on Christmas, it's actually the horrible realization that other people exist laying siege to her mental walls.

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Scott Hoy is a personal injury lawyer with a personal message for all you auto drivers out there: Stop having auto accidents. JUST STOP IT. He doesn't know if it's because of video games or what—but for the love of god, stop blaming people in the back seat! (Confused? I'm pretty sure personal injury lawyer Scott Hoy is confused, too. But the point is, STOP WRECKING CARS, K?)

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