Cary

vampireapologist:

first time I ever went to the animal shelter and picked out my own animal was surreal. we had so many animals growing up but we never picked out any of them. and sure that’s normal for cats. they just showed up and we adopted them. but it didn’t end there.

we had a ball python because my mom was on a walk with her friends, saw it on the ground (this was Ohio) said “woah! that’s not native!” and put it in her purse. we advertised but never found the owner so we kept the purse python.

we ended up with a corn snake during a hurricane because my mom went out to get one of the cats and the corn snake was so little it came blowing through the air like a branch and my mom reached out and grabbed it out of the air to save it.

actually the point of this post is lost because I typed this far and realized the universe was maybe just sending my mom snakes specifically.

foone:

greyhoundone:

foone:

foone:

I wonder what the implications would be if the Pope became a zombie

Like say the Pope is off visiting Canada when the zombie outbreak starts and his little popemobile is overrun and he becomes infected and turns.

Can they elect a new pope right away? Or do they need to wait for someone to kill the zombie pope?

And if someone does, is that a sin for them? Or do you get like automatic sainthood, for services towards the catholic church?

What if the zombie!Pope isn’t killed and is instead captured. Does the catholic church try to get him to continue to serve as the Pope? Or do they figure out how to declare him unfit to serve as pope and elect a new pope? Or do they kill him/put him out of his misery? If so, how? Is there a papal executioner?

Also, in case of a zombie apocalypse, does the Pope declare a crusade against the undead?

Are there holy knights of zombie killing?

From my sister (a devout Catholic, consecrated virgin (yeah that’s a thing; don’t ask), with a masters in theology, currently studying canon law to practice for a diocesan tribunal):

“First, we’d need to define whether a zombie, as ‘undead,’ should be classified as alive or dead.

If being a zombie is like being infected by a virus that makes you go crazy, you couldn’t kill the pope. Technically, you couldn’t just kick him out of office, either. But other officials could confine him and limit his actions.

A physical assault on the pope is automatic excommunication, so you definitely wouldn’t get automatic sainthood.

Probably even if a zombie counted as dead, the attack on the pope’s body would still be wrong, although justifiable if that’s the only way to save yourself from the zombie pope as he’s attacking you. If the zombie pope counts as alive, you’re still morally allowed to defend yourself, and while the penalty of excommunication is automatic, it’d probably be lifted right away by whoever is in charge and not zombified.

There’s some theological tension in the idea that the Pope is the ‘first among equals;’ he’s in charge, but he’s also just a bishop among bishops. So a zombie Pope would definitely shift power more to the diocesan level, which could have interesting implications on the debate. In the past, sometimes rulers sent a pope into exile and a new one was elected. That’s not allowed under current law, but in a desperate circumstance, if a foreign power captured the zombie pope because of the threat he posed and would never release him, there might be a way to allow for the election of someone new. It’d mean treating the laws more like guidelines, though.”

Me: Fascinating contribution. Thank you! And I presume that if zombies did count as dead, the Church could proceed with electing a new Pope?

Her: Yes.

Cool! Thanks and thanks to her.

foreverial:

surgeon: sorry sir, we can tailor all the other stuff down there but we can’t give you scrotoplasty

me (in hospital gown in stirrups while a nurse holds a blowtorch to my taint): what? why the hell not?

surgeon: after tumblr was purchased by the us government in 2026 all posts about medical transition have been logged and vetted by AI for harm prevention. in 2023 you posted, and i quote, “the moment i get balls i’ll become a serial teabagger”

me: *sad chuckle* that’s true… i did…. and i would.

whatbigotspost:

saywhat-politics:

Robbie Harris passed away the other day.

Robie Harris, who wrote an often-banned book about sexuality for kids, dies at 83

A lil snippet from that^ article/listen:

A true hero & legend whose memory will be a blessing ❤️

How do you get from Kevin Bacon to shrimp? 🤔 Join us as we shellebrate the interconnectedness of our world, from the silver screen to the shimmering seas. 

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

iosonomer-blog:

<3 THIS IS THE SINGLE MOST WHOLESOME THING I HAVE EVER SEEN <3

huariqueje:

Pihlajanmarjat (Rowan berries)    -     Seppo Similä, 1984

Finnish,b.1950-

Oil  on canvas, 70 x 105 cm.

heedra:

electrificata:

heedra:

the football is an egg that needs to be incubated in the strong warm arms of players and tossed around violently by the strong warm arms of players and kicked by their strong warm legs to develop properly. and whoever wins the super bowl, their quarterback, gets to sit on the egg when it hatches so the young warbeast inside will imprint on them as its mama.

lydia tell me more about sports

if you look at a football stadium from above, it kind of looks like a giant cephalopoid eye and that’s because it is.

partlysmith:

Julius Caesar memes are fun and all, but make sure you don’t forget the true meaning of the holiday: Stabbing the fuck out of politicians for their flagrant, self-serving abuse of power.

petermorwood:

redscharlach:

terfypicrew:

Okay, so it turns out I could watch tigers on ice for HOURS.

“Tigers On Ice” would be a great stage show.

shu-of-the-wind:

lockedharrow:

weirdreindeer:

ALT

i used to work for a nature center and we would constantly have wild owls come and call out to the owls in their cages and try to 1.) get them to follow them or 2.) they were looking for a mate

in the spirit of this post: when you live in areas with wild horses, the number one culprit for horse theft is actually other horses, because the young stallions that get chased out of the herd wanna start their own, and oh, look, look at all those cute mares in just,,,,a fenced off grassy area,,,how easy would it be to lure them over the fence,,,like some four-legged yodeling pied piper,,,

i think about this a lot

prokopetz:

prokopetz:

If you’re lamenting the fact that you used to be able to shoot through a 500-page novel in like a day when you were in middle school and now you can’t, it’s worth bearing in mind that a big part of that is because when you were in middle school, your reading comprehension sucked. Yes, mental health and the stresses of adult life can definitely be factors, but it’s also the case that reading is typically more effortful as an adult because you’ve learned to Ponder The Implications. The material isn’t just skimming over the surface of your brain anymore, and some of the spoons you used to spend on maximising your daily page count are now spent on actually thinking about what you’re reading!

Reading as a kid: “I can tell that this is supposed to be an emotionally moving ending, but I genuinely cannot remember who two-thirds of these characters are.”

Reading as an adult: *reads a paragraph* *pauses* *reads the same paragraph again* *flips back and re-reads the preceding page to make sure you didn’t misunderstand something* *stares into space for ten minutes as the Implications sink in*

mxmollusca:

detectivesnail:

just learned about the granulated sea star …

dont talk to me

Hey, I’m gonna be that guy

So sea stars are echinoderms

Which means that they have a dermal skeleton of tiny plates basically infused throughout their skin

And while this lil guy looks like he gives the squish

His connective tissues are capable of becoming incredibly rigid, and so he’s quite tough to the touch

So unless your various orifices are in need of a good sand blasting, I’d say ol Romeo here isn’t exactly body safe

But I love the enthusiasm

lilacblossoms:

tiktoks-for-tired-tots:

this kills me EVERY. TIME. I WATCH IT.

Her deadpan delivery is just… *chef’s kiss*

hatingongodot:

Weeping at this. Frighteningly similar to how I sound

capricorn-0mnikorn:

mammalidentifier:

an-alarming-amount-of-bees:

drinkyourjuiceshelby:

sundermunder:

A pleasant surprise.

When he goes back into the dirt

i can’t believe this little shit has a completely armored back and then sleeps belly up just to dare predators to fuck with it

Six-banded armadillo (Euphractus sexcinctus).

The person in the video is speaking Brazilian Portuguese, which is my native language, so here’s what’s being said as well as a little bonus:

“You’d think he’s dead. He’s just cooling himself off in the sand. Here, check this out. Oop! What’s up, bro? You sleep well?”

“A pleasant surprise”

Pfft. Not for the armadillo, it wasn’t!

(thanks for the translation!)

cosmicretreat:

vigilantsycamore:

maniculum:

trek-tracks:

trek-tracks:

When a student copies an essay online instead of writing it and then painstakingly changes every word to a synonym until the text no longer makes any sense…

call that the Ship of Thesaurus

Any educator who doesn’t feel this on a visceral level has never had to experience the psychic pain of reading the phrase “Unused York City.”

A lecturer at Middlesex University in 2014, Chris Sadler, coined the term “Rogetism” for these. Perhaps the best:

ALT

Source.

I’m trying to hide my plagiarism but the clapping of my sinister buttocks keeps alerting the lecturer

sounds like someone needs to go in the water

curiositykilledthecas:

dapperboar:

Reblogging again because the art is spectacular. 10/10.

hotvampireadjacent:

studentofetherium:

hotvampireadjacent:

Ok I’m listening to knowledge fight from the beginning. In 2017 Alex jones was screaming that Mexico has a wall with Guatemala. MOTHERFUCKER NOW ITS PERSONAL. IVE BEEM TO THE MEXICO-GUATEMALA BOARDER MULTIPLE TIMES. THERES NO DAMN WALL. It’s very scenic and beautiful if any of you have the chance to go.

I still have a photo of it on my phone!!! This isn’t the literal boarder but a hairs throw away!!!!! There’s no damn wall

typical liberals… lying when the truth is right in sight

Wow, Mexico walling their own people in… really makes you think !

An Amazon chatbot that’s supposed to surface useful information from customer reviews of specific products will also recommend a variety of racist books, lie about working conditions at Amazon, and write a cover letter for a job application with entirely made up work experience when asked, 404 Media has found. 

This AI-powered chatbot is called “Ask about this product” and is hidden in plain sight on the Amazon mobile app above the customer reviews of most (but not all) products. It exists to help you search customer reviews written by real people, to generate answers about products when the customer reviews do not suffice, and to recommend other products to you.

ChatGPT banned at work? Open Amazon! pic.twitter.com/RYHeqXuubU

— Cake (@ILiedAboutCake) March 10, 2024

But in practice it is just a normal chatbot that does regular chatbot things, as was discovered by a Twitter user called Cake. I was only able to make the chatbot appear within the Amazon app and only when I was logged into an account. It did not appear on the desktop site though your mileage may vary.

counter-facts-i-just-made-up:

facts-i-just-made-up:

counter-facts-i-just-made-up:

facts-i-just-made-up:

This is actually a common misconception! While the Unicorn Dog did exist and was discontinued following the extinction of unicorns in 2009, the Corn Dog is not a rebranding of the Unicorn Dog! The Corn Dog was created in 2003 by James H. Corn, though it remained a relatively unpopular Ohio treat until 2010 when Mr. Corn took the opportunity left by the Unicorn Dog’s exit from the market to take over the niche.

Nicolas Demeersman aka Pretty Punk (b. 1978, Seclin) - Chaman Line Nazca, Peru. 2011 from ongoing Fucking Tourist series 2009-2014 Photography


Nicolas Demeersman aka Pretty Punk (b. 1978, Seclin) - The Fisherman, Set, France, 2013 from ongoing Fucking Tourist series 2009-2014 Photography


Nicolas Demeersman aka Pretty Punk (b. 1978, Seclin) - The Local, Monkey Forest, Bali, 2009 Fucking Tourist #1 of the ongoing series 2009-2014 Photography


Nicolas Demeersman aka Pretty Punk (b. 1978, Seclin) - Breeder (se), Lima-Cusco, Peru. 2011 from ongoing Fucking Tourist series 2009-2014 Photography


Nicolas Demeersman aka Pretty Punk (b. 1978, Seclin) - False Che, Havana, Cuba. 2010 from ongoing Fucking Tourist series 2009-2014 Photography


Nicolas Demeersman aka Pretty Punk (b. 1978, Seclin) - Cook, Wadirum Desert, Jordan, 2012 from ongoing Fucking Tourist series 2009-2014 Photography


Nicolas Demeersman aka Pretty Punk (b. 1978, Seclin) - Lady In Yellow, Kerala, India, 2013 from ongoing Fucking Tourist series 2009-2014 Photography


Nicolas Demeersman aka Pretty Punk (b. 1978, Seclin) - Papis revelers, Trinidad, Cuba, 2010 from ongoing Fucking Tourist series 2009-2014 Photography


Nicolas Demeersman aka Pretty Punk (b. 1978, Seclin) - Farmer, Gili Air, Bali, 2009 from ongoing Fucking Tourist series 2009-2014 Photography


Nicolas Demeersman aka Pretty Punk (b. 1978, Seclin) - Mamie, Trinidad, Cuba, 2010 from ongoing Fucking Tourist series 2009-2014 Photography

red-lipstick:

Nicolas Demeersman aka Pretty Punk (b. 1978, Seclin) Worldwide ongoing Fucking Tourist series 2009-2014 Captures The Resentment Of Locals With A Simple Gesture. (Info with each pic)

skull-bearer:

nickioeste:

memeuplift:

This sounded too good to be true, so I did a little bit of fact checking.

Mike Ilitch did in fact pay Rosa Parks’ rent for years, but it wasn’t because she was laid off. She needed a safer place to live after she was assaulted in her own home at the age of 81. He paid her rent from that point onward, for the rest of her life.

The more you know 🌈⭐

Little Caesars founder quietly paid Rosa Parks’ rent for years | CNN

When you fact check and it turns out even better than the original story.

I’ve gone back and forth but yeah.

Here’s Wyverns adoption page. If you’re in WA state he’s truly an excellent puppy who needs a home. I’d love to stay in contact and would be delighted to help with training if he ends up being the right dog for you.

My betrothed and I were allergic to him, and after ten days they started experiencing anaphylaxis in proximity with him so we had to give him up. He knows sit, down, wait, and come, with growing name recognition and recall.

Still working on leash manners and potty training.

grand-theft-carbohydrates:

iamalivenow: