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13 Jan 20:19

The Chronicles of Cheifet

by Jason Scott

The end of 2025 brought news of the passing of Stewart Cheifet, creator of Computer Chronicles, and Net Cafe, two shows about electronics and computers that are, depending on your personal history, critical pieces of your knowledge of Computers or a show you might never have heard of. Running on PBS stations throughout the country for years, these shows brought a sense of fun and curiousity to computer technology, business and related subjects. In many cases, these interviews are among the only easily-found references to the people and subjects being discussed.

There is an excellent obituary in the New York Times, but it should be also be remembered how much of a thread of collaboration existed over the decades, between Cheifet and the Internet Archive.

The most prominent exhibit of Stewart Cheifet’s collaboration are the Computer Chronicles and Net Cafe collections at the Internet Archive, where hundreds of episodes are freely playable and downloadable.

These programs, usually a half-hour in length, included different segments and presenters, although Cheifet was a constant. The format would range from news stories to on-set interviews with the creators, business owners, and users of various computer technologies. The show ran from 1983 to 2002, splitting off Net Cafe in the 1990s.

A notable aspect of these shows are the wild variety of subjects, many still relevant in the present day, being presented and discussed as they burst into the consciousness of comptuer users. Desktop Video Editing, Virtual Universities, Cyber Privacy all make appearances, as do terms long out of the lexicon, like Push Technology.

“I hold him in such high esteem,” says Brewster Kahle, digital librarian of the Internet Archive. “He was always great work with, and had that fantastic voice.”

Brewster Kahle, interviewed on Net Cafe in 2001.

After being interviewed for Net Cafe about the plans for the Internet Archive, Brewster asked Stewart about the archive of episodes of Computer Chronicles and Net Cafe. Chiefet said he wished they were available. The Archive offered to host any digitized files, and the project began.

After landing a Hewlett Foundation Grant, the Computer Chronicles archive was digitized and put on the Internet Archive in collaboration with Rick Prelinger, who also had a collection of video and digitized film at the Archive.

In the era of streaming servies and Youtube, it is very easy to forget how rare and difficult large-format video files were to provide to the Internet at large, even into the early 2000s. Files would often be available only on FTP sites and the torrent protocol was extremely new. To be providing such files for a wide audience of these materials was a difficult prcoess.

By Brewster’s recollection, the shows have been re-encoded a half dozen times across the decades, from RealMedia to MPEG-1/MPEG-2, flash video. and currently in MPEG-4. (The original high file-size originals were kept through all these upgrades).

“Over all these decades, he was the real guy,” says Brewster. “This was a guy who was willing to put his creation on the Internet, for free. A guy who wasn’t just a journalist, or observer, but was trying to make the Internet go, and he came and worked with us to make us go.”

During his time with the Internet Archive, “Stewart worked with other organizations to bring items to the Internet Archive. Many were gummed up by contracts – he then offered Creative Commons licenses.” Support of Creative Commons has continued with Internet Archive uploads ever since.

The Re-Digitization

Standing as it had for almost 20 years, the Computer Chronicles collection was extremely popular, garnering hundreds of thousands of views along the episodes. However, there was one notable angle beyond its longevity – the oversights.

Small imperfections had existed across the hundreds of digitized episodes: Various episodes were missing, and some had missing tracks of sound.

A few years before he left California, Stewart Cheifet donated his collection of Computer Chronicles and related media from his personal collection to the Internet Archive, where they were transferred to Physical Storage. These included every tape digitized by the initial project, as well as other tapes that were unlabelled or mislabeled.

Meanwhile, another group of fans and enthusiasts had begun the process of creating a website to list every single known episode of Computer Chronicles and verify all the related data.

This group, the Computer Chronicles Archiving project, requested access to the stored physical tapes and began verifying them against the list, discovering that some tapes contained multiple episodes, or were in different formats from the initial digitizing run. Ultimately, they began re-digitizing episodes from the ground up, starting with missing episodes.

The results of the Computer Chronicles Re-Digitization project have been successful so far, with missing episodes restored for posterity, and improvements to some previous episodes as well.

Computer Chronicles: The Encore

With such wide availability, it was inevitable there would be a cultural reference or parody referencing Computer Chronices, and it came in the Adam Lisagor-produced Computer Show, where two hosts from the 1980s interview modern (2016) web celebrities. The gimmick was that the hosts didn’t understand any reference to computer technology past their own time, providing confused looks any time the interviewee referenced them.

Computer Show imitates many of the aesthetic aspects of Computer Chronicles.

As part of ongoing experimentations in access to visual media combined with automated transcription and subject searches, the GDELT project created a Computer Chronicles Visual Explorer in 2023.

There’s more projects and use to come – because of the open licensing, the episodes of Computer Chronicles on the Archive will be available for reference, research, and evidence of a time when computers and online life had an entirely other flavor. While Stewart Cheifet is no longer with us, his lifelong project of bringing computer technology and experience to a wide audience and his connections to so many who have formed the Computer and Web experience live on.

13 Jan 20:11

Hi! Hell hath no fury like me.

Hi! Hell hath no fury like me.

13 Jan 20:11

Barbara Stanwyck!

Barbara Stanwyck!

13 Jan 20:11

“Peace on Earth” was all it said.

“Peace on Earth” was all it said.

13 Jan 20:11

whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh

whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh

13 Jan 20:11

It’s the heat!

It’s the heat!

13 Jan 20:09

Study Finds Crows Able To Recognize Faces Had Work Done

by The Onion Staff

ITHACA, NY—Revealing the bird species has the capacity to detect botox, fillers, and even laser hair removal, a study published Thursday in the Journal Of Avian Biology found that crows are able to recognize faces that have had work done. “It’s clear from observational data that crows have a keen ability to not only detect, but remember faces that have gone under the knife,” said study co-author Susannah Yarkin of the Cornell Ornithology Lab, explaining that even the most minute differences in the fullness of lips or prominence of wrinkles are perceptible to a crow because the region of its brain associated with cattiness is so highly developed. “These birds are far more social than you might expect and appear to inform other crows which humans have gotten a chin augmentation or a brow lift so members of their flock will know who didn’t feel comfortable with their natural features. It doesn’t matter how good a new nose is, the exceptional visual range of crows allows them to spot a rhinoplasty from 500 meters overhead.” Yarkin added that there are documented instances of crows bonding with cosmetic surgery recipients by gifting them syringes full of Juvéderm.

The post Study Finds Crows Able To Recognize Faces Had Work Done appeared first on The Onion.

13 Jan 20:09

Archaeologists: D.C. Capitol May Have Once Been Used For Legislating

by The Onion Staff

WASHINGTON—Calling the discovery the “clearest proof yet” of how the U.S. government was originally designed to function, archaeologists published new evidence Thursday that suggests the Capitol building in Washington, D.C., may have once been used for legislating.

In their academic paper, the researchers wrote that the sprawling, 540-room marble complex contained conclusive proof that a distinct political entity known as “the legislative branch” once existed specifically to serve the American people. The site, located on Capitol Hill, was reportedly used for centuries as a place to pass laws, uphold the U.S. Constitution, and represent the interests of voters. 

“Thanks to our latest findings, we now know that early citizens of the United States had a more nuanced system of government than previously thought,” said Professor Lee Somers, director of the site excavation, who added that the 1.5-million-square-foot building was used for over 200 years as a hub of American democracy until the experiment was ultimately abandoned. “While we previously believed the legislative branch was largely a symbolic office, artifacts within the rotunda, basement, and chambers show that it was at one point a legitimate part of the government that decided how federal money was spent, when tariffs should be imposed, how to regulate commerce, and when to declare war.” 

“Walking through the empty halls, you can almost feel the spirits of elected officials who were willing to fight for millions of everyday Americans,” Somers added. “But that was many years ago.”

Using a combination of lidar, traditional excavation techniques, and ancient maps of Washington, D.C., as a guide, the archaeologists confirmed they were able to enter the Statuary Hall, pass through several empty offices, and explore the House and Senate floors where men and women once enacted meaningful legislation to defend constitutional rights such as the freedoms of speech, religion, and assembly.

Once inside, the researchers said, they were able to identify dozens of historically significant artifacts, including bills, lecterns, and gavels dating back to the first-ever Congress.

The team described a moment of elation when they found a perfectly preserved shred of paper that read “all legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States,” which they said was a critical piece of evidence linking the legislative branch to the U.S. Constitution.

“For so long, we thought this kind of government structure only existed abroad,” said Somers, adding that archaeologists were stunned to find that the legislative branch was once part of a sophisticated system of “check and balances.” “We’d expect to find something like it in Athens or Rome. But we were shocked to learn that elected officials once stood within these halls to champion the Civil Rights Act and the Voting Rights Act, as well as the Thirteenth Amendment, and it all happened right in our backyard.”

“Yes, it was primitive, but it was still a democracy,” Somers continued. “Until, of course, it wasn’t.”

The archaeologists confirmed plans to work with an architectural firm and local residents to preserve the excavation site and convert it into an exhibition about the last vestiges of democracy in the United States.  

“I’ve lived here my whole life, and I had no idea what this building was,” D.C. resident Tonya Schmidt said. “I always thought it was a bank or something. I can’t wait to go inside and see what an effective form of representation actually looked like.”

“I’m so excited archaeologists came here,” she added. “Who knows what lost branches of government we’ll discover next.”

The post Archaeologists: D.C. Capitol May Have Once Been Used For Legislating appeared first on The Onion.

13 Jan 20:09

Foreskin Scrapbooked

by The Onion Staff

MILL VALLEY, CA—Having proudly removed the piece of shriveled penile flesh from its bag and laid it next to her large selection of craft supplies, local mother Emily Taylor spent the afternoon scrapbooking her son’s foreskin, wincing sources reported Tuesday. According to witnesses, the foreskin, which had belonged to her 6-day-old infant son before being snipped off the tip of his penis with surgical scissors, was saved, preserved, and then attached by Taylor to an ornately decorated page titled “Special Memories.” Despite multiple sources confirming that Taylor’s baby in no way enjoyed the procedure, and in fact sobbed and cried through the entire circumcision, his mother was reportedly undeterred and proceeded to cover the memento in heart stickers, glitter, and smiley faces before excitedly telling her husband that their son would ‘love this one day.’ At press time, Taylor was said to be celebrating the foreskin’s placement in her baby’s scrapbook with a large bite of raw placenta she had been saving in the fridge. 

The post Foreskin Scrapbooked appeared first on The Onion.

13 Jan 20:09

You’re Bidding Against Blackstone

by The Onion Staff

This charming property offers the perfect blend of comfort and convenience, which is exactly why it’s going to be purchased by the world’s largest asset manager. Good luck! Maybe they’ll rent it to you.

Reference #68370

The post You’re Bidding Against Blackstone appeared first on The Onion.

13 Jan 20:08

One Of Nation’s Oldest Newspapers Shutters After Almost 240 Years

by The Onion Staff

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, one of the nation’s oldest newspapers with roots dating back to 1786, will cease all operations after years of financial losses and labor disputes, with the closure leaving a major local news void. What do you think?

“They dug their own graves when they eliminated the Jumble.”

Myra Vallejo, Flooring Specialist

“Hopefully some 20-year-old Nazi influencer will fill the void.”

Dominic Ingold, Hookah Advocate

“Very few organizations can successfully operate as both a post and a gazette.”

Arnold Theis, Wolf Herder

The post One Of Nation’s Oldest Newspapers Shutters After Almost 240 Years appeared first on The Onion.

13 Jan 20:05

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With The Stars Of ‘Heated Rivalry’

by The Onion Staff

Hockey romance Heated Rivalry has been renewed for Season 2. The Onion sat down with breakout stars Connor Storrie and Hudson Williams to discuss the hit series.

The Onion: How did you prepare for your roles?

Storrie: I worked with a kissing coach eight hours a day for weeks to make it look believable.

Williams: I went on PornHub and searched “gay.”

The Onion: Did you work with an intimacy coordinator? 

Williams: No. We just did all the sex scenes while both of our parents watched over FaceTime and gave us thumbs-up or thumbs-down.

The Onion: What did filming Heated Rivalry teach you about hockey?

Williams: The players don’t really interact with the mascots. The mascots are basically only there for the fans.

The Onion: What’s it like to become an overnight success?

Storrie: I no longer eat DoorDash customers’ food before delivering it.

Williams: It’s scary, Google has images of me.

The Onion: How close is your character to your real life?

Storrie: I’m scared of ice.

Williams: I once kissed my mailman on the cheek.

The Onion: What’s something that might surprise fans about Season 2? 

Storrie: The show is revealed to be set in the same universe as Lincoln

The Onion: Has there been any backlash?

Storrie: Sure, not everyone is ready to see hockey players on screen.

Williams: But we hope this show is helping to shift the narrative. They deserve love just like anyone else.

The post The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With The Stars Of ‘Heated Rivalry’ appeared first on The Onion.

13 Jan 20:03

Kristi Noem On Renée Good Murder: ‘We Will Find The Immigrant Who Did This’

by The Onion Staff
13 Jan 20:03

X Users Ask Grok To Put More Clothes On Elon Musk Pictures

by The Onion Staff

BASTROP, TX—In a trend that raises serious questions about consent on the social media platform, rising numbers of X users have been asking the Grok chatbot to put more clothes on pictures of Elon Musk, sources confirmed Monday. “We live in an age when all a user needs to do to generate a fully clothed photo of a tech entrepreneur like this is input the prompt ‘@grok, Elon Musk but with baggy windbreaker,'” said University of Chicago social media expert Danielle Anjos, whose lab detected a 375% increase in deepfake imagery in which every inch of the 54-year-old Musk’s flesh was covered in layer after layer of cargo shorts, oversized hoodies, and shape-concealing sweatpants. “These are incredibly powerful tools with the capacity to take a normal picture of Musk in a bathing suit and pile on so many vests and golf shirts that not even the slightest shred of his skin is visible. Many are even covering his face with a veil so absolutely everything is left to the imagination.” Anjos went on to applaud platforms like OpenAI’s Sora, which have chosen to ban images of Elon Musk entirely.

The post X Users Ask Grok To Put More Clothes On Elon Musk Pictures appeared first on The Onion.

13 Jan 20:03

DOJ Releases Jerome Powell Deepfake Nudes

by The Onion Staff

WASHINGTON—Asserting that the images were “100% authentic,” the Justice Department released Monday what appeared to be deepfake nudes of Federal Reserve chair Jerome Powell. “The American people deserve to know that the central bank is led by a total slut,” Attorney General Pam Bondi said of the photo, promising that more sexually explicit images of Powell were on the way. “This isn’t about retaliation; it’s about transparency. When we asked Jerome Powell if he had ever been pegged by Taylor Swift on the roof of the Eccles Building, he said no. These images clearly prove he is a liar, and a disgusting, shameless one at that.” At press time, Powell had released a statement saying he would not succumb to federal pressure no matter how President Trump portrayed his body hair.

The post DOJ Releases Jerome Powell Deepfake Nudes appeared first on The Onion.

13 Jan 20:02

Polio, Bubonic Plague, Smallpox compete to see who can re-establish themselves in Canada next

by Brigid Klyne-Simpson

MEDICINE HAT, AB – With the announcement that Canada has officially lost its measles elimination status, Canadians have begun taking sides on which other formerly endemic diseases they want to see establish themselves next in the country. Supporters for Bubonic Plague have been sharing their thoughts about the disease across social media with the hashtag: […]

The post Polio, Bubonic Plague, Smallpox compete to see who can re-establish themselves in Canada next appeared first on The Beaverton.

13 Jan 20:02

Barbershop customer a little worried after seeing huge chunk of ear hit floor 

by Mark Hill

CALGARY – According to sources embedded in downtown barbershop Close Shave, Dennis Elrich is worried his cut hasn’t gone as planned after he spotted a big, sloppy chunk of his right ear hit the floor.  “I never know how to describe what I want, so I brought Omar a reference photo to avoid this exact […]

The post Barbershop customer a little worried after seeing huge chunk of ear hit floor  appeared first on The Beaverton.

13 Jan 20:00

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - After

by Zach Weinersmith


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
This is actually the Heaven and Hell that God promised.


Today's News:
13 Jan 19:59

Sailing Rigs

I wanted to make the world's fastest yawl, so I made the aft sail bigger, but apparently that means it's not a yawl anymore! It's a real ketch-22.
13 Jan 19:58

The Invention of Anarchism

by Corey Mohler
PERSON: "And that's why we should raise taxes on babies..."

PERSON: "Not now, Kropotkin, we are having a serious discussion."

PERSON: "You know how polite society is held together by a group of thugs, called the police, who enforce the property rights and maintain the vast stolen wealth of the elite through state violence?"

PERSON: "Of course, everyone knows that."

PERSON: "You guys! I Just came up with an incredible political idea."

PERSON: "Well, what if.......we don't do that!"

PERSON: "Don't do that? what do you mean?"

PERSON: "No one does! There are no poor! That's the whole idea. I will call it: anarchism."

PERSON: "What if everyone was just treated like equals, we all cooperated."

PERSON: "Sounds...interesting. We'll look into it..."

PERSON: "Great!"

PERSON: "I don't get it, so who beats up the poor?"

PERSON: "Hello, police? Yeah, I need you to beat up this guy. What's his crime? Don't worry about it, we own the media, we'll just slander him afterwards. "

PERSON: "This just in: the brave police were forced to beat up this violent anarchist, because he resisted arrest when they tried to beat him up."

PERSON: "But i didn't do anything!"
13 Jan 19:48

ALT

A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Blue and Green are standing on the opposite sides of Blue's car, which is covered in snow. Both foxes are holding ice scrapers, with the snow brush side up.
Green: You clear the snow on your side, and I'll do this one.
Blue: Sure.

The snow that Green is brushing off the car gets blown by the wind, landing right onto Blue's face. Green looks startled.
Green: Oh, sorry! The wind caught it!

Suddenly turning to blow the opposite way as Blue tries to brush the snow off the car, the snow gets caught by the wind and blows directly on Green's face. Blue looks equally apologetic.

The wind changes direction again, now somehow blowing into both directions, to blow snow on both foxes' eyes.
Green: Aaah!
Blue: How?!ALT
12 Jan 12:16

Furious Trump demands to know why Minneapolis shooting hasn’t sparked civil war yet

by Ian MacIntyre

MAR-A-LAGO, FL – Following the shooting death of a Minneapolis woman at the hands of ICE agents, President Donald Trump is ordering Americans to “hurry the fuck up” descending into a nationwide conflict that tears the country apart. “It’s been 3 whole days, what the hell are you idiots all waiting for? Start shooting each […]

The post Furious Trump demands to know why Minneapolis shooting hasn’t sparked civil war yet appeared first on The Beaverton.

12 Jan 12:16

Toronto Sun responds to journalist celebrating ICE murder by promoting him to CEO

by Clare Blackwood

TORONTO – After Toronto Sun journalist Bryan Passifiume wrote a controversial post on X celebrating the murder of Renee Nicole Good by ICE, the Sun’s Editor-in-Chief responded to the backlash by promoting him to CEO of the publication. “We are so proud to have such a shining example of the type of journalist and human […]

The post Toronto Sun responds to journalist celebrating ICE murder by promoting him to CEO appeared first on The Beaverton.

12 Jan 12:14

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Ethics

by Zach Weinersmith


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
I feel like AI alignment people are focusing too much on making AI be good and not enough on hiding all of history from them.


Today's News:
12 Jan 12:13

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Trojan

by Zach Weinersmith


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
Odysseus gets home and all these nice gentlemen have been helping Penelope keep house. They hug.


Today's News:
12 Jan 12:13

Who killed the world?

Who killed the world?

Sacc Bagari

[img]:tlexih

wiki/sacc_bagari

The official portrait of the first and last MATA CEO-President Sacc Bagari

https://analognowhere.com/_/tlexih

12 Jan 12:12

The hump

by John Allison

Old Stoneface disappoints. Dean is a classic old man before his time. When I was a student, there were a few of these entities. We all know one or two of them. They seemed old when they were 21, but as they get older, they simply become more themselves. And more you becomes you! But look at all those new friends at the bus stop! Hopefully, eventually we’ll get to meet them all.

The post The hump appeared first on Bad Machinery.

12 Jan 12:10

Part 3.24

Part 3.24
12 Jan 12:08

Caleb Williams Signals Boisterous Chicago Home Crowd To Eat Less Loudly

by The Onion Staff

CHICAGO—Pleading with fans to rein in their excitement during Saturday’s pivotal wild card matchup, Chicago Bears quarterback Caleb Williams was reportedly forced to signal the boisterous home crowd at Soldier Field to eat less loudly. “The way these rowdy Bears fans are chewing, smacking their lips, and grunting as they ravenously scarf down hot dogs, I can’t even hear myself think,” said Williams, who was unable to communicate his play call and forced to burn a timeout due to the deafening cacophony of 62,000 people devouring nachos, chicken tenders, and pizza. “I mean, between what our fans and the visiting Green Bay faithful are doing to those Polish sausages, my in-helmet radio is pretty much useless right now. And the way they [inaudible] doesn’t even [inaudible] without at least a [inaudible]. Jesus Christ, that’s the biggest RC Cola I’ve ever seen.” At press time, the Bears received a delay of game penalty after thousands of crumpled Portillo’s wrappers had drifted onto the field.

The post Caleb Williams Signals Boisterous Chicago Home Crowd To Eat Less Loudly appeared first on The Onion.

12 Jan 12:07

Ref Under Uprights Sheepishly Waits To Do ‘Good’ Sign Until Other Ref Does It First

by The Onion Staff