This post, interviewer wants my current employer to say they know I’m looking, friend asking for free work, and more , was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. Interviewer wants an approval letter from my current job, saying they know I’m interviewing
I’ve had a few interviews with a company, I like them, they like me, they want to make an offer. But my current employer uses their products (think software). Because of this, the company wants a letter from my current employer’s HR stating that HR is aware I’m looking at a job with this company and that it’s okay. Oh, and they haven’t actually given me the offer yet, I don’t even know how much I’d be making, just an idea from a range that I mentioned in the first interview.
Does this sound strange to you, or have I just been lucky to never run across this before? Is this due to some potential conflict? Even though we use their software, my current employer and this company are not at all in the same line of work, so I feel like that doesn’t work well as an explanation. I emailed the hiring contact looking for more clarification, but they just reiterated what they originally asked for (that it needs to be on company letterhead, signed by HR, and needs to have what I mentioned above). I’m afraid that it would somehow get out at my current job or that HR would need to speak to my manager and then they’d know I was looking for another job but I wouldn’t have this new actual offer as back up.
What on earth! No, this is not reasonable. It sounds like they’re concerned that your company will feel like they “poached” you (a highly problematic concept, but a thing none the less) and be upset about it, so they want your company’s blessing first. But that’s very much not in your interests — you don’t have a firm offer from them yet and it could fall through, or the offer could be for less than you’d accept, or there could be some other reason things don’t work out. And if that happens, you’ll have essentially announced to your employer that you’re job searching, and while that might not be an issue, most people have good reason to worry about it — you can end up being pushed out earlier than you’d otherwise want to leave, or sidelined from projects, or on the top of layoff lists since they assume you’re on your way out anyway. It’s a bad deal for you.
You can try saying, “My employer doesn’t know I’m looking and it could jeopardize my job to inform them at this stage. If you offer me the job and I accept, I’ll certainly make sure at that point that it doesn’t affect their relationship with you, but I’m not able to give them a heads-up at this stage.” If they won’t budge, you’re better off walking away from the prospective job than letting them push you into something so risky for you.
2. I backed out of a job offer — can I ask if they’ll still hire me now?
I recently went on a job interview. I loved the position and I loved the people. After a month of waiting, I accepted their offer. During my waiting to hear back from them, I went on an interview with another company and the day before I was scheduled to start with the first company, the second company offered me the role. They offered me a higher salary and a higher position. So I accepted that offer and apologetically rescinded the offer with the first company.
Now a month into my new job, I am not happy. It really isn’t a good fit for me and I wish I didn’t take it. Clearly, all that glitters isn’t gold. I see that the first position is still available. Do you think I can reach out to the first company and possibly ask if I can take the job or should I just move on?
Well … they’re likely to be very cautious. You’d committed to their offer and then backed out the day before they thought you were starting, which means they’re likely to be wary of counting on you again (especially if they had cut loose other candidates and had to start their process all over). It’s not that you did something horrible by looking out for your own interests. But they have to look out for theirs too, and at this point they’d need to wonder if you’re going to leave for something better again right after they invest in training you.
That said, if they really liked you and you hit just the right tone in approaching them now, they might consider it — but that tone needs to include a lot of “I know this inconvenienced you and I completely understand if this doesn’t make sense on your end.” Even then, a lot of hiring managers would be a hard no (I probably would be). But I don’t think you have anything to lose by explaining what happened and seeing if they’re up for talking again.
3. Friend/client asking for free work
A few months ago, I reached out to a friend (and former colleague) who runs their own business, to offer my services freelance should they and their business partner need it. They took me up on it and I prepared some written materials for them, which they said they were pleased with (I was paid for these projects). They indicated they really needed my help and would have more work for me shortly.
That was several months ago and I had not heard from them since. Today, my friend reached out to me to essentially ask for free advice to help them build their business further. They didn’t directly say they wanted free advice, but it was pretty clear from the tone of the message that’s what they meant. There was no mention of payment for my time and effort. Is there a diplomatic way to tell them that if they want my advice it is not available for free?
The easiest way to handle it is to respond as if of course payment is a given. So something like, “Sure, I can help with that! For this kind of consulting, my rate is $X, which would include ___. If that sounds good, I’ll send over a contract and we can get started.”
Or — any chance she’s only looking for something like 10 or 15 minutes as a friend rather than as a client? If so and you’re willing to do that, you could say, “Let’s talk and see what you’re looking for. If it’s more than a quick conversation, I charge $X/hour for consulting, and we can figure out if that’s what you need once we talk.”
4. Should you always negotiate salary, no matter what?
I recently accepted a major promotion at work (I’m SO excited!) and when the salary was offered to me, I did not negotiate. My reasoning was:
– I know the salary band for this position, and the salary offered to me was the low end (but within the band — in other words, they didn’t try to screw me by offering me something lower than the band).
– I feel the salary is in line with the market.
– This promotion is a “double” step up for me — I’m essentially skipping a level to take this role.
Given that this is such a reach for me and I felt satisfied with the compensation, I didn’t try to negotiate. But was that the wrong move? Obviously it’s too late now (I’ve signed the offer letter and accepted the salary) but was my reasoning off? Should you ALWAYS negotiate, no matter what?
You should usually negotiate, but not always. For example, if the offer is obviously generous (meaning well above market, not just a lot to you) and/or you’re on the low end of experience for the job, asking for more could look out of touch. Or if you’d told the employer the range you were looking for and they match or exceed that, asking for more can make you look like you’re not operating in good faith.
In your case, it sounds reasonable that they’d offer the low end of the range since it’s a stretch role for you. I think you could have tried negotiating, but it wasn’t a big misstep that you didn’t.
5. Can I ask why the previous people in the job left?
I am going to be interviewing for a new position with a competitor in the same industry as my current job. I know that the two people who were most recently in the job that I’m interviewing for left the position (and the company) after 2-3 years. This is a senior level position and the industry I work in does not generally have a high turnover rate. I have been in my current position for eight years and am interviewing for this other company as this would be a promotion.
My question is whether or not it would be appropriate during my interviews to ask why the last person (or last two people) in this position left? How about mentioning that I’m aware that the last two people in the position had a pretty short tenure? I don’t want to offend anyone but I also want to try to determine if this may be red flag.
Yes, you can ask that! It’s fine to say, “It looks like the last two people in the job each left after a couple of years. Can you tell anything about why they moved on?” Just keep in mind that you won’t necessarily get the straight scoop — they’re very unlikely to say, “The workload is crushing and the culture is oppressive.” So make sure you’re doing your own research too.
![Was this your car? [looping 'image loading' animation]](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/heart_stopping_texts.png "Was this your car? [looping 'image loading' animation]")
