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11 Apr 16:11

‘School Choice’ Is Just a Ploy to Defund Public Ed

by David R. Brockman

Another session of the Texas Legislature, another push to spend public dollars on private and religious schools.

Vouchers and voucher-like schemes have been floated repeatedly by Republican legislators over the years, and just as repeatedly have been shot down by the combined opposition of Democrats, rural Republicans, and public school advocates. This time, however, GOP leaders are going all out to make vouchers—in the form of education savings accounts (ESAs)—a reality here in Texas under the sunny mantra “school choice.” As Rev. Charles Foster Johnson, founder and executive director of Pastors for Texas Children, told the Texas Observer, “‘School choice’ is a deceptive misnomer” because the choice lies not so much with parents as with the private schools, which “are highly selective about who they enroll and who they do not enroll. They will not take the economically disadvantaged, at-risk, special needs, socially and emotionally challenged child because it is too expensive to teach that child.”

However, Republican leaders have laid the groundwork for ESAs through well-funded efforts to undermine confidence in public schools, along with an equally well-funded push by Christian nationalist donors to elect voucher-friendly candidates. Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick (who has long championed vouchers) said he and Governor Greg Abbott are “all in on school choice”; both have listed it among their legislative priorities for this session. Abbott has embarked on a statewide “parent empowerment” tour of private schools—so far, all of them Protestant Christian schools—to tout ESAs. And last week, the Senate passed the leading “school choice” measure, part of the omnibus education Senate Bill 8, on a party-line vote—though as of this writing, it faces an uphill battle in the House. 

But in another, deeper sense, there is nothing new about this session’s “school choice” push. Having spent nearly a decade researching and writing about Christian nationalism—the movement to make the United States an explicitly “Christian nation” governed by Bible-based laws—I see this year’s push to fund private and religious schools as just the latest front in that movement’s decades-long battle to undermine what Thomas Jefferson called the wall of separation between church and state, and thereby establish conservative Christian dominance over government.

Prominent Christian nationalists in Texas are involved in the ESA push, and a win could undermine not only Texas’ venerable public school system, but our nation’s even more venerable tradition of church-state separation. That should worry all Texans, religious and non-religious alike. 

Though not all “school choice” supporters are Christian nationalists, it’s hard not to notice the strong Christian nationalist presence among them. As I detail in a recent report, both Abbott and Patrick have voiced Christian nationalist sentiments. The Christian nationalist Texas Pastor Council enthusiastically backs using taxpayer money for private schools. And NBC News reports that the “school choice” push has been funded in large part by “a Christian nationalist-aligned political action committee … bankrolled by a pair of West Texas billionaires,” Tim Dunn and Farris Wilks, who “have expressed the view that Texas state government should be guided by Biblical values and run exclusively by evangelical Christians.”

While Christian nationalists seek conservative Christian dominion over law and public policy generally—especially in matters of gender and sexuality—public education has long been a primary concern for them.

They often trace what they see as America’s abandonment of its godly foundations to early-1960s landmark U.S. Supreme Court rulings underscoring church-state separation in public schools. For instance, First Baptist Dallas pastor Robert Jeffress, in a sermon titled “America is a Christian Nation” (discussed by scholars Andrew Whitehead and Samuel Perry), declared that “‘secular Supreme Court justices’ in the early 1960s … removed prayer and Bible reading from public schools,” leading to a “retreat from America’s founding, biblical ideals” and putting the nation on a path of “homicide, single-parent households, and sexual depravity.”

Accordingly, controlling education is crucial to Christian nationalists’ efforts to, as some put it, “take our country back.” 

“[T]he philosophy of the classroom in one generation will be the philosophy of the government in the next,” wrote Cynthia Dunbar, former Texas State Board of Education member. “This battle for our nation’s children and who will control their education and training … is crucial to our success for reclaiming our nation.”

Here in Texas, Christian nationalists’ battle to undermine church-state separations has been waged on two fronts: one involving shaping what is taught in public schools, the other involving spending taxpayer dollars to pay for religious instruction in religious schools.

The first front has been active for over a decade. As I’ve discussed here in the Observer and in a longer study, in the late 2000s a bloc of Christian nationalists took effective control of the Texas State Board of Education, which governs curriculum content and textbook adoption. In 2009, Christian nationalist board members inserted language into the science curriculum standards that, critics said, opened the door to creationist objections to the theory of evolution. In the same period, the bloc worked to shape the social studies curriculum along Christian nationalist lines. For instance, they insisted that students learn that the biblical figure Moses influenced America’s founding, drawing scorn from scholars. The board also required students to learn about the alleged biblical origins of U.S. democracy, a claim that aligns with Christian nationalist beliefs but has little support among scholars. While Christian nationalists were never able to capture the curriculum standards completely, their influence on the curriculum has served to weaken church-state separation in Texas public schools. 


If Christian nationalists’ influence on the public school curriculum amounts to removing bricks from the wall of separation, their second front—“school choice”—seems intended to undermine the wall’s very foundations. It would do so in a very obvious way: It would use our tax dollars to fund outright religious instruction in religious schools. Although ESAs could also be used to pay for instruction at nonreligious private schools, the most blatant threat to the wall of separation lies in spending tax dollars for religious schools. 

That should worry Texans—religious and nonreligious alike—for several reasons.

First, it effectively gets the government into the business of funding religious instruction—using tax dollars to propagate religious beliefs and viewpoints. Of course, religious schools also teach academics like math and English, and many may do so quite effectively. But there is often a strong religious component as well. For instance, one Christian school Abbott visited on his “parent empowerment” tour advertises its mission as “training, equipping, and educating students to impact the world for Jesus.” Two Dallas-Fort Worth-area Christian schools I picked more or less at random tout their commitment to “Biblical worldview education” and “Imparting a Distinctively Christian Worldview.”

I see no difference in principle between using tax dollars, on the one hand, to proselytize schoolchildren in a set of religious teachings and, on the other hand, to proselytize adults in those teachings—to use tax dollars to support evangelism or mission work, or even to pay clergy salaries. To be clear, no one on the “school choice” side advocates going that far. But as the old saying goes, once the camel’s nose is in the tent, the rest of her may soon follow.

A second problem with using tax dollars for religious instruction is the potential threat it poses to religious schools themselves. The Baptist Joint Committee for Religious Liberty (BJC) notes that government money usually comes with strings attached. “If churches and other religious institutions choose to feed at the public trough,” BJC notes, “they often do so at the expense of their freedom to use the funds as they would like.” 

True, under the legislation currently under consideration, religious schools that accept ESA dollars are not required to satisfy the same requirements public schools must meet (accept any and all students, meet state curriculum standards, engage in nondiscriminatory hiring practices, etc.). Indeed, this lack of accountability is a major objection from voucher opponents. Since right now the political winds in Texas favor conservative white Christians, they may be able, for the time being, to keep the government from regulating religious schools. (SB8 specifically forbids government entities from obliging an ESA-participating religious school to act contrary to the school’s “religious or institutional values.”) 

But if the nationwide decline in the white Christian share of the population continues, and if Texas continues to become more diverse and more secular, future Texas governments may impose conditions on religious schools that accept taxpayer dollars. Meeting those requirements might force religious schools to choose between violating their beliefs or refusing public funds to which they have become accustomed.

Finally, as the Baptist Joint Committee also points out, vouchers and voucher-like schemes violate basic religious liberty. Such schemes “ask taxpayers to support indoctrination into religious views they may not agree with. … We should not be required to support others’ religious views.”

Indeed, the current fight over “school choice” brings to mind a debate in Virginia back in the nation’s early days. Patrick Henry—he of “give me liberty” fame—proposed a bill that would have provided taxpayer funding for “Teachers of the Christian Religion.” James Madison thought it wrongheaded and wrote his landmark “Memorial and Remonstrance” to enumerate the dangers of Henry’s scheme. Among them, Madison wrote, the measure would cause the government “to intermeddle with Religion.” “If … we begin to contract the bounds of Religious freedom,” he argued, “we know no name that will too severely reproach our folly.”

Texans would do well to keep those wise words in mind this legislative session.

The post ‘School Choice’ Is Just a Ploy to Defund Public Ed appeared first on The Texas Observer.

11 Apr 16:04

What to know as Gov. Abbott pushes to pardon a man who was just convicted of murder

by Bill Chappell
Whitney Mitchell (center), Garrett Foster

Sgt. Daniel Perry hasn't been sentenced in the killing of Garrett Foster. But the pardons board is already starting to review his case, at Texas Gov. Greg Abbott's request.

(Image credit: Sergio Flores/Getty Images)

11 Apr 03:07

If We Lose the Internet Archive, We're Screwed

by msmash
An anonymous reader shares a report: If you've ever researched anything online, you've probably used the Internet Archive (IA). The IA, founded in 1996 by librarian and engineer Brewster Kahle, describes itself as "a non-profit library of millions of free books, movies, software, music, websites, and more." Their annals include 37 million books, many of which are old tomes that aren't commercially available. It has classic films, plenty of podcasts and -- via its Wayback Machine -- just about every deleted webpage ever. Four corporate publishers have a big problem with this, so they've sued the Internet Archive. In Hachette v. Internet Archive, the Hachette Publishing Group, Penguin Random House, HarperCollins and Wiley have alleged that the IA is committing copyright infringement. Now a federal judge has ruled in the publishers' favor. The IA is appealing the decision. [...] Not only is this concern-trolling disingenuous, but the ruling itself, grounded in copyright, is a smack against fair use. It brings us one step closer to perpetual copyright -- the idea that individuals should own their work forever. The IA argued that their project was covered by fair use, as the Emergency Library provides texts for educational and scholarly purposes. Even writers objected to the court's ruling. More than 300 writers signed a petition against the lawsuit, including Neil Gaiman, Naomi Klein and -- get this -- Chuck Wendig. Writers lost nothing from the Emergency Library and gained everything from it. For my part, I've acquired research materials from the IA that I wouldn't have found anywhere else. The archive has scads of primary sources which otherwise might require researchers to fly across the country for access. The Internet Archive is good for literacy. It's good for the public. It's good for readers, writers and anyone who's invested in literary education. It does not harm authors, whose income is no more dented by it than any library programs. Even the Emergency Library's initial opponents have conceded this. The federal court's decision is a victory for corporations and a disaster for everyone else. If this decision isn't reversed, human beings will lose more knowledge than the Library of Alexandra ever contained. If IA's appeal fails, it will be a tragedy of historical proportions.

Read more of this story at Slashdot.

11 Apr 03:06

Supporters Rally For Library Digital Rights on the Steps of the Internet Archive

by chrisfreeland

More than one hundred supporters gathered on the steps of the Internet Archive last Saturday to rally support for our library in the face of a judgment that threatens the digital future of all libraries. 

Digital rights advocate Lia Holland of Fight for the Future read from the letter signed by Neil Gaiman, Naomi A. Klein, Chuck Wendig, Karen Joy Fowler, Cory Doctorow and more than 1,000 additional authors who are speaking out on behalf of libraries, demanding that publishers and trade associations put the digital rights of librarians, readers, and authors ahead of shareholder profits.

Cindy Cohn, the Executive Director of the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF), who are representing Internet Archive in our lawsuit, underscored the valuable role that libraries play in protecting reader privacy; values that are not shared by the corporations and platforms that have become intertwined around ebooks. “When libraries can’t own ebooks, how private will your reading be?” Cohn asked. “Everyone deserves the right to read without someone looking over their shoulder.”

The Internet Law & Policy Foundry’s Lili Siri Spira spoke from her perspective as a “Gen-Z-Millennial cusper growing up on the Internet” about the importance of access to quality information in the face of book bannings and attacks on libraries. “As a former open-source investigator, I know first-hand how important open and free access to knowledge is in order to address the world’s injustices…As a former misinfo analyst, I know what information is out there to replace these burned books and it’s not good,” she said.

Brewster Kahle, the founder and digital librarian of the Internet Archive, gave an impassioned plea about why the lawsuit against the Internet Archive is harmful to libraries and the entire publishing ecosystem. “[The lawsuit] doesn’t make any sense for authors, it doesn’t make any sense for readers, it doesn’t make any sense for libraries, and it doesn’t make any sense for publishers. The library system…has always bought lots of books. But now, [the publishers] are saying you cannot buy an ebook. This makes no sense!” 

The rally wrapped with cheers for continued action in support of libraries’ digital rights. As EFF’s Cindy Cohn shouted to roars from the crowd, “On to the court of appeals!”

The post Supporters Rally For Library Digital Rights on the Steps of the Internet Archive appeared first on Internet Archive Blogs.

10 Apr 17:00

someone or something is deleting our work emails

by Ask a Manager

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes:

My coworker, Jane, and I share a common Outlook mailbox and the emails get sorted out to each team member chronologically. Example: first email gets assigned to me, second email gets assigned to Jane, third email gets assigned to me, fourth email gets assigned to Jane. And so on. We can tell who each email is assigned to, as the person sorting adds the appropriate initials to the subject line.

Anyone can do the sorting of the emails, but I find that I do it the majority of the time. And because I do it, I also see follow-up emails that come in — people asking for a status update on email sent in a week or more ago. When these come in, I do a quick search through the mailbox to see if Jane or I have started processing this email and are just waiting on some more information before it’s completed. This does happen sometimes and, in those cases, I reply that the issue is being worked on and what is needed before completion. But more often I have been finding the first email in the deleted folder, having been untouched.

For example, Joe Smith emails on 3/22 asking for the status of a request submitted 3/6. And I find the 3/6 email in the deleted folder, with no replies or forwards and no work having been processed in our systems. And the pattern I am noticing is that all of these emails found in the deleted folder were originally assigned to Jane. I let my manager know when I find these scenarios and then reassign them out as appropriate.

This has been happening for years now, and it happens more frequently in our busy periods. We have had other team members come and leave the department and the only time an email is found in the deleted folder not having been worked on, that email was originally assigned to Jane. We have had team meetings to discuss how this might be happening. My manager suggested once that it’s possibly a system error but IT is unable to tell who or what is deleting these emails. And Jane is just as seemingly baffled as the rest of us.

I have my suspicions that this is not a systems error, because emails seem to disappear a few times a week for a month, we have a team meeting about it, no more emails disappear for three or four months, and then it starts up again. I, of course, have no way to tell if Jane is intentionally deleting emails. Maybe her computer has a serious bug that randomly deletes emails in Outlook. But a lot of red flags are being raised.

I have come to realize that this is somehow not as big of a deal to my manager as I believe it is, so I’m not really expecting anything to change. But it did make me wonder what my options would be if I was the manager.

Could Jane actually face disciplinary action for this if she maintains that she is not intentionally deleting emails and there is no way to determine how these emails are being deleted? How would this even be addressed from an issue of how to make it stop? I can’t imagine she could be put on a PIP if there is the possibility of a systems error, let alone outright fired. What are your thoughts?

Also, does it ever get to be my responsibility to raise this to someone above my manager seeing that it keeps happening?

It seems really unlikely that this is a systems error, given that it’s only happening to emails assigned to Jane, and especially given that it stops for a few months after it’s addressed with you both and then starts up again. (I’m assuming only you and Jane have access to this mailbox.) I would bet money that Jane is deleting emails to avoid having to deal with them.

It’s bizarre that your manager doesn’t seem terribly concerned about this when not only are work requests going ignored (a big problem in itself), but it’s potentially due to the deliberate negligence (and cover-up) of a staff member.

I’m curious who the requests come from. If they’re internal requests from other teams, this has the potential to harm your team’s (and therefore your manager’s) reputation. If they’re coming from the public, maybe she thinks there won’t be real consequences since each sender will think it’s a one-time fluke … whereas if they’re internal, word will start to get around that your team is unreliable.

But I wonder if your manager actually spoke to IT about this or if she told you they can’t resolve it without actually checking with them — because IT should indeed be able to track down some useful data on how items are getting deleted. And they’re unlikely to want people to just accept “oh, we have a bug that randomly deletes emails.” If such a bug existed and they didn’t act, that would reflect badly on them. So my hunch is that she didn’t talk to them, or she did and she’s misrepresenting what they said because she doesn’t want to deal with it.

You asked what your options would be if you were the manager. First, you’d talk to IT, who could probably help you. If for some reason they couldn’t, you could consider ways to build more oversight into the system (for example, more frequent spot-checks, a weekly check of the deleted folder, or a different way of assigning tasks). But there’s also enough here to warrant a manager having straightforward conversation with Jane, pointing out that the deleting stops for a few months every time you address it, it’s only with her emails, and what’s going on? I’d also be looking more closely at Jane’s work generally — is her workload too high? Is she cutting corners in other places? Is she good or bad at follow-through with other tasks? If she’s really deleting emails on the reg to avoid answering them, it’s highly likely that you’d find other problems with her work, and it could make sense to focus there rather than getting sidetracked on having to “prove” this piece of it.

What shouldn’t be an option is just throwing up your hands and saying “oh well,” as your manager seems to have done for years now.

You asked whether Jane could face disciplinary action if there’s no way to prove she’s deleting emails. I remain skeptical that IT can’t help but for the sake of argument, if they couldn’t, you could certainly require her to do things like a regular check of the deleted box to fish out anything that “got deleted on its own.” But also, that’s where the look at the rest of her work comes in — if she’s deleting emails to avoid work, you’re probably going to find other problems.

As for whether it’s your responsibility to raise this to someone who’s not your manager … it depends on the content of the emails and how much your organization would care. If they’re really low-stakes emails (like feedback from the public on something that doesn’t really require a response), it might not rise to that level of escalation. If they’re higher-stakes, I’d look for a way to bring it to someone’s attention, although whether and how to do that will depend on the internal politics there.

10 Apr 16:21

Clarence Thomas Secretly Accepted Luxury Trips From Major GOP Donor

A recent ProPublica investigation revealed that Justice Clarence Thomas and his wife, conservative activist Ginni Thomas, have gone on several luxury trips involving subsidized travel and stays at properties owned by a GOP megadonor. What do you think?

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10 Apr 16:20

Politicians Explain Why They Oppose Gender-Affirming Care

At least 13 states have passed laws banning gender-affirming care for trans youth, including life-saving treatments like hormone therapy and puberty blockers. The Onion asked politicians why they oppose gender-affirming care, and this is what they said.

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10 Apr 16:16

‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

LOUISVILLE, KY—In the hours following a violent rampage in Kentucky in which a lone attacker killed at least five individuals and injured six others, citizens living in the only country where this kind of mass killing routinely occurs reportedly concluded Monday that there was no way to prevent the massacre from…

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10 Apr 16:16

Awkward Zombie - Gunplay

by tech@thehiveworks.com

New comic!

Today's News:

Half-Life: Alyx did a great job of providing the player with objects that are fun to play with in VR, but this did give me the impression that Alyx is a person who is easily distracted by mundane displays of physics.

10 Apr 05:49

Birthday!

by Billy Glenn
10 Apr 01:43

DistroWatch Weekly, Issue 1014

This week in DistroWatch Weekly: Review: carbonOS 2022.3, LibreELEC 11.0, Kodi 20.1News: Linux Mint polishes its themes and icons, Fedora plans to offer encryption by default, elementary OS improves sideloading experienceQuestions and answers: Finding processes, WINE security, favourite distributionsReleased last week: ExTiX 23.4Torrent corner: KDE neonUpcoming releases: FreeBSD....
09 Apr 20:10

Necking

https://www.oglaf.com/necking/

09 Apr 20:04

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Stop



Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
Oh wait, shoot, would you mind if I did a quick full body scan before never speaking to you again?


Today's News:
09 Apr 19:09

Mark your calendars! A total solar eclipse is coming one year from now

by Joe Hernandez
A Mapuche Indigenous family uses special glasses to try and observe a total solar eclipse in Carahue, La Araucania, Chile, Monday, Dec. 14, 2020. The total eclipse was barely visible from Carahue because of an overcast sky.

Viewers located in a strip of the mainland U.S. stretching from Texas to Maine will be able to see the moon pass directly in front of the afternoon sun.

(Image credit: Esteban Felix/AP)

09 Apr 14:23

A long-winded 1-year ownership report on my Hyundai Ioniq 5

by Technology Connextras

Almost entirely good!

00:00 Intro / overall thoughts
01:14 My car’s paint is s p e c i a l
03:32 I had an oopsie
04:31 Problems getting it repaired
10:10 I got bitten by the 12V battery discharge bug
16:30 Charge scheduling issues
20:06 A tangent about new car reliability
23:30 Other incidental issues
25:57 I’m really happy with it - and why
32:19 Efficiency (HEAT PUMPS FOR THE WIN)
37:49 Highway Driving Assist
40:35 Two HDA glitches
44:56 A small Android Auto glitch
46:50 The stereo is… okay
48:10 Some controls are buried
49:45 The car really should have a rear wiper
51:25 The Brake Lights Are Bad
58:00 Some HDA behavior could be better
1:05:36 Recap? I guess?
09 Apr 14:12

Texas governor seeks to pardon Army sergeant convicted of murder

by The Associated Press
This booking photo provided by the Austin, Texas, Police Department shows U.S. Army Sgt. Daniel Perry. Perry was convicted of murder for fatally shooting an armed protester in 2020, a Texas jury ruled Friday.

Army Sgt. Daniel Perry was convicted of murder for fatally shooting an armed protester in 2020 during nationwide protests against police violence and racial injustice, a Texas jury ruled Friday.

(Image credit: AP)

09 Apr 14:09

Ben Ferencz, the last living Nuremberg prosecutor of Nazis, has died at 103

by The Associated Press
Benjamin Ferencz, Romanian-born American lawyer and chief prosecutor of the Nuremberg war crimes trials, speaks during an opening ceremony for the exhibition commemorating the Nuremberg war crimes trials in Nuremberg, Germany, on Nov. 21, 2010.

Ben Ferencz tried Nazis for genocidal war crimes and was among the first outside witnesses to document the atrocities of Nazi labor and concentration camps.

(Image credit: Armin Weigel/AP)

08 Apr 20:54

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Dowsing



Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
I can detect sky with my eyes closed.


Today's News:
08 Apr 15:55

Try Wikipedia

New Comic: Try Wikipedia
08 Apr 03:21

Worst of the rain now east of Houston, leaving us with clouds and cool temps for Easter weekend

by Matt Lanza

Well, we hope everyone got some sleep last night. For parts of the area, it was quite the noisy evening. Here’s the rainfall since yesterday evening:

This map shows rain totals from Thursday evening through Friday morning. The heaviest rain fell south and west of Downtown Houston and out toward Sugar Land and Fort Bend County. A small area of extreme rain fell south of Lake Charles. (NOAA)

Rain totals since yesterday evening have been certainly manageable by Houston standards with the main issue being minor street flooding and/or ponding. The heaviest rain fell from near Memorial Park through Alief into Sugar Land, with about 2 inches, give or take. Galveston received around an inch of rain, but it’s also been quite breezy there, with winds gusting as high as 49 mph (before 2 AM). We fortunately missed out on extreme rainfall yesterday and overnight. That hit just south of Lake Charles, where as much as 8 to 10 inches of rain fell.

Today starts the transition out of this wetter pattern, setting up a cloudy but overall fair Easter weekend.

Friday

We think the worst of the rain is over for Houston. However, that doesn’t mean all the rain is over. Expect off and on showers, drizzle, or light rain today across the area. Our higher resolution modeling is trying to fire back up a period of slightly heavier rain and storms later today to the west of Houston. So I would not be shocked to see one more round of perhaps some moderate to heavy rain and thunder later today or this evening.

Heavier rains should be mostly over with in Houston, but up to another inch or so is possible in some spots with lingering showers later today. (Pivotal Weather)

With all that said, we will discontinue the Stage 1 flood alert. We do think some minor ponding is still possible, especially in areas that have seen a good bit of rain since Wednesday, but for the most part, we should be able to manage what’s left to come without too much trouble. As always, use care with the wet roads.

Outside of rain, today looks cloudy and cool. Temperatures will warm only a bit from where they’re currently sitting (50s from Houston N & W, 60s S & E of Houston).

Saturday & Sunday

We can’t completely rule out rain tomorrow, but at this point it looks like any chances will be mostly in the morning and mostly minor in nature. Expect a good deal of clouds for Saturday, with morning lows in the 50s, warming into the low-70s.

The European model cloud cover forecast for Easter morning shows a good deal of clouds (in blue) over most of the region. Clearing should commence by afternoon. (Pivotal Weather)

The biggest problem this weekend will be cloud cover. We are going to have a lot of low level moisture “trapped” under an inversion (or “cap”) in the atmosphere. In addition, we’re going to have middle and high level clouds overhead too. On Sunday, we lose those higher clouds, so hopefully the sun will scour out some of the low clouds during the late morning or afternoon.

Temperatures for Easter morning will be cool with 50s in much of the area and low-60s from Houston south to the coast. (Pivotal Weather)

So, for Easter Sunday, expect morning clouds giving way to some afternoon sunshine. We’ll have morning lows, as seen above, generally in the 50s to low-60s. The afternoon will depend on sunshine, but we will call it mid-70s on average for now. Rain chances won’t be quite zero, but they are low.

Monday & Tuesday

For Monday, we may be able to squeeze out a few showers in the area, but skies will be partly sunny for the most part. Morning lows will be near 60, with highs in the mid-70s once more. Tuesday looks very similar, so we’ll simply copy and paste Monday’s forecast for now, but we may need to downgrade Tuesday a bit when we get closer.

Mid to late next week

The rest of next week looks pretty decent here in Houston. I would suspect we see increasing sunshine and also increasing temperatures, along with slowly increasing humidity. Look for highs in the 80s and lows in the 60s by the end of the week. We may want to watch for slightly higher shower chances Wednesday, but overall it looks fine right now.

One item of curiosity: The Gulf of Mexico may see some shenanigans next week. While we aren’t looking at anything serious, and we are not looking at anything in Texas right now, we may be looking at “a thing.”

Models are developing some sort of upper low and surface low over the north-central Gulf next week. This should keep our weather mostly dry for later next week as long as this stays as forecast, while bringing some rain and/or breezy conditions to areas to our east. (Tropical Tidbits)

Models have been pretty consistent in some type of surface low pressure developing under an upper level low pressure system in the north-central Gulf and slowly working inland between New Orleans and Panama City, FL. It’s not tropical in nature, as other meteorological processes are driving this, but it could bring some rain and modestly gusty winds to parts of the Gulf Coast well east of our area later next week. There has never been a tropical storm that has formed in the Gulf in April that we know of, and frankly, this system is probably too close to the coast to have enough time to pull that transition and feat off. Still, if you are planning a trip to the eastern Gulf Coast next week, keep tabs on the forecast and maybe prepare for some less than desirable beach weather.

08 Apr 03:00

Polestar 2 One Year and 38,000 Miles Later

by Aging Wheels
08 Apr 01:45

Nextdoor CEO Recruits Army Of Fanatics For Holy Crusade To Reclaim Neighborhood

SAN FRANCISCO—Declaring that the time had come for San Francisco’s chosen residents to rise up and take back the streets and cul-de-sacs that were rightfully theirs, Nextdoor CEO Sarah Friar reportedly began recruiting an army of fanatics Friday for a holy crusade to reclaim their neighborhood. “I call upon all…

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08 Apr 01:42

Conservative Boycotting Bud Light Forced To Drink 6 Cans Of Something Else Before Hitting Kids

SIOUX FALLS, SD—After he vowed not to patronize the Anheuser-Busch company because of its marketing partnership with a transgender TikTok star, sources reported Friday that a local conservative man boycotting Bud Light was forced to drink six cans of something else before hitting his kids. “Tonight I’d love nothing…

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08 Apr 01:42

Kansas GOP Bill Authorizes Genital Exams Of Schoolchildren

The Kansas state legislature has overridden a veto by the state’s Democratic governor to pass a ban on transgender students participating in sports, which could be enforced with mandatory genital inspections. What do you think?

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08 Apr 01:41

Justice Thomas Given Disciplinary Trip To Gary, Indiana

GARY, IN—Asserting that the jurist had shown clear ethical lapses in accepting lavish gifts and globe-trotting trips from Republican megadonor Harlan Crow, the Supreme Court reportedly dispatched Justice Clarence Thomas on a disciplinary trip to Gary, IN Friday. “The associate justice displayed evident poor judgment…

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08 Apr 01:39

Man Assuming He One Of Those People Whose Leadership Qualities Emerge In Crisis

FAYETTEVILLE, AR—Suggesting that he must possess all kinds of useful traits that would lie dormant until the right occasion presented itself, local man Ken Pearson told reporters Friday that he must be one of those people whose leadership qualities would only emerge in a crisis. “I’m assuming that if the shit ever hit…

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08 Apr 01:38

Italy Proposes New Law To Ban English Words

Italy’s ruling party has introduced a law that seeks to ban governments and corporations from using English in official communications under threat of fines up to $150,000. What do you think?

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08 Apr 01:37

Pope decrees that every Friday is a Good Friday when you’re hanging with your buds

by Mark Hill

VATICAN CITY – Supreme Pontiff Pope Francis has marked the holiest week on the Christian calendar by reminding Catholics worldwide that it’s important to kick it with your pals. “On Good Friday, we fast to honour the sacrifice Jesus made for us on the cross,” the Pope told the faithful assembled in St. Peter’s Square. […]

The post Pope decrees that every Friday is a Good Friday when you’re hanging with your buds appeared first on The Beaverton.

08 Apr 01:37

I Am Noah and I Need to Look at Your Animals’ Pee-Pees

by Becky Mandelbaum

Dear Farmers and Black Market Animal Traders of 2300 BCE:

My name is Noah, son of Lamech and ninth descendent of Adam. I am six hundred years old and I need to look at your animals’ pee-pees. Long story short, God’s sending a colossal wall of water to cleanse creation of wickedness, which means I’ll for sure need to take a peek at basically every species of animals’ nuggins and noodles within the next, like, two or three weeks.

To be clear: this isn’t something I want to do or have dreamed of doing ever since I was a tiny prophet in my mother’s arms and first laid eyes upon the sumptuous underbelly of our neighbor Jehoshabeath’s prized meat hog, and I’m definitely not making this whole flood thing up so I can go around the lands of Ararat and score a gander at a bunch of titillating animal down-unders.

I promise this whole thing is totally by-the-books, God-told-me-to-do-it stuff. I just need two of every animal in existence, including those living on the other side of the flat world in jungles and swamps I don’t know about. Most importantly, I need one girl wee-wee and one boy pee-pee, which will require I take a long, contemplative gaze at every single beastly undercarriage in God’s earthly kingdom.

You might have some questions, such as:

Q: Am I trained to sex every species of animal on Earth?
A: Absolutely not.

Q: Do I think I can probably do my best to distinguish an innie from an outie?
A: Sure thing.

Q: Is it possible I’ll fail to differentiate between a fish with a hot dog and a fish with a bun, and nobody will ever enjoy a delicious miso-ginger-glazed salmon fillet in some ridiculous postdiluvian future where people consume things other than bread, wine, and the blood of their morally bankrupt grandchildren?
A: Yes, totally possible. Not saying it’s not.

Q: Is it also possible I have no idea what any of these animals eat, and they’ll either gradually starve to death or begin violently devouring each other within forty-eight hours, resulting in a total bloodbath nightmare scenario in which I will be forced to drown my family and then myself to spare us the agony of being eviscerated by a smoking hot lady cheetah?
A: I guess we’ll find out, won’t we?

Again: I possess no zoonotic or veterinary training whatsoever. Biology isn’t even a thing yet. You have to trust me on this one because sometimes I just do things. I’m kind of that guy.

One example: I recently built an enormous wooden ark without any carpentry or boat-building skills to speak of—I don’t even know math. Full disclosure? I can’t even read. I’m having one of my slaves write this for me. Is the ark riddled with cracks and holes? Maybe. Did I spend three days installing a light-up disco dance floor and no time building feeding troughs? That’s between myself, God, and the future of creation. The point is: I’m Noah. Out of all the dudes in the world, God chose me. This is why I really, truly, super bad need to cop a quick glance at all your animals’ nibbles and pibbles.

Perhaps you don’t believe me. Or maybe your livestock are a little shy. Doesn’t matter. One way or another, I will be looking at every earthly creature’s meat basket and rump splitter to make sure our planet remains a diverse ecosystem once the holy floodwaters literally destroy everything in existence except for myself, my entire immediate family, and my aforementioned tricked-out animal party ship.

Blessed Is Our Lord and All His Sizzling Hot Animal Creations,
Noah

08 Apr 01:27

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