Shared posts

28 May 17:53

Canadian man reading date never knows which is day and which is month unless day is above 12

by Luke Gordon Field

KITCHENER – Local man Dalton Strickland, whose data entry job regularly requires him to read dates off a form and put them into a computer, literally never knows which date is the day and which is the month unless the day is above 12. “Are we using the American MM-DD-YYYY system or the rest of […]

The post Canadian man reading date never knows which is day and which is month unless day is above 12 appeared first on The Beaverton.

28 May 13:49

Parents Just Called To Make Sure You Thought Of Every Possible Thing That Could Go Wrong In Life

HELENA, MT—In an effort to raise awareness of any and all potential catastrophes, your parents reportedly called Tuesday to make sure you thought of every possible thing that could go wrong in life. “Hey there, sweetie, just checking in to see if you understand that everything in your life is teetering on the edge of…

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28 May 13:49

Mom Has No Memory Of Telling Daughter She Looked Like Streetwalker Right Before 8th-Grade Dance

HACKENSACK, NJ—Shrugging her shoulders in a dismissive manner, local mom Dina Marchesi reported Tuesday that she had no memory of telling her daughter she looked “like a streetwalker” right before her eighth-grade dance. “Come on, that doesn’t sound like me,” said the woman who had just that morning snidely commented…

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28 May 13:48

Aaron Rodgers Rants To Pat McAfee About Windows 11 Tips And Tricks After Going Down Wrong YouTube Rabbit Hole

INDIANAPOLIS—Saying there were powerful people out there who didn’t want this information getting out, New York Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers delivered a rant about Windows 11 tips and tricks on The Pat McAfee Show Tuesday after going down the wrong YouTube rabbit hole. “I’m telling you, Pat, there’s an elite…

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28 May 13:47

New report blames transit safety problems on gaps in Calgary's shelter system

Two people sit on a bench. The woman closest to the camera has a large backpack and many bags.

A new study suggests a lack of confidence in Calgary's homeless shelter system is what's actually behind the social disorder on trains and buses. Fears of rape, assault, disease and theft led to people choosing to sleeping rough and riding the rails rather than seeking help.

28 May 13:47

Small Cat, Big Cat

by Reza
28 May 13:13

At least 7 dead in North Texas after severe storms

by By Ken Miller, Associated Press
The storms spawned a tornado that overturned heavy recreational vehicles and shut down an interstate near Dallas.
28 May 13:07

Excessive heat today before a pattern change returns us to summer lite conditions

by Eric Berger

In brief: Just a short update this morning due to the Memorial Day holiday, but it’s warranted due to the extreme heat over inland parts of the metro area. After today we’ll see somewhat cooler weather and a return of some modest rain chances later this week.

Monday

Today will be sunny and hot, with much of the area seeing high temperatures in the mid- to upper-90s. This will be the region’s hottest weather since late September of last year, and it will feel sweltering outside. Please take heat precautions if you are outdoors from the late morning to late afternoon hours. There is a slight chance of showers, and possibly a few thunderstorms, during the overnight hours as a boundary slides toward the Houston region. However the most likely scenario is that a capping inversion remains solidly in place, preventing the development of any storms. Lows tonight will be around 80 degrees.

Today will be very warm across the Houston metro area. (National Weather Service)

Tuesday

A partly to mostly sunny day with highs in the low-90s. Tuesday evening into Wednesday morning will see another chance for some storms, but once again they’ll be battling against a capping inversion. I’d peg the chance of showers and thunderstorms Tuesday night at about 20 percent, but we’ll need to fine tune this in tomorrow’s forecast.

Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday

These will be partly sunny days with highs in the upper 80s to 90 degrees. Each of these days will see a decent chance of rain, perhaps on the order of 40 percent or so, in the absence of high pressure. However, I don’t have a great handle on the details or the timing. Showers will be most likely along and north of Interstate 10, where accumulations of 1 inch or more are possible.

Saturday and Sunday

Rain chances will linger into the weekend, with highs likely in the upper 80s to 90 degrees. At this point both days should see at least partly sunny skies, with Sunday having the greater chance of being mostly rain free.

Have a great holiday!

28 May 13:05

How Was the Inaugural Edition of the Affordable Art Fair Austin?

by Caroline Frost

Over the weekend of May 16 – May 19, thousands of visitors poured into The Palmer Events Center to view work from 60 local, national, and international galleries for the launch of the Affordable Art Fair Austin, the city’s first international art fair. The first Affordable Art Fair debuted in London’s Battersea Park in 1999 and has since grown to 17 cities globally, with its affordability parameters set to include works between $100 – $10,000. Austin is one of Affordable Art Fair’s three new launches in 2024 (the other two openings are in Berlin and Brisbane). While the launch may be one small step for Affordable Art Fair’s expansive programming, it’s a giant leap for Austin’s evolving art market. Expectedly, the newborn limb has yet to find its stylistic footing, but a few notable trends emerged: abundant abstraction, limned landscapes, and the occasional (read: inevitable) cowboy.

View of the Affordable Art Fair walkway

Affordable Art Fair launched in Austin May 16 – May 19 at the Palmer Events Center. Photo courtesy the Affordable Art Fair

Abstraction’s universality makes it a safe bet for galleries gauging a new market and collector base. As I began navigating the maze of booths, it was quickly evident that the non-representational impulse was adopted by many participants — especially those exhibiting in Austin for the first time. Installed side-by-side in Galerie Duret’s booth (Paris, France & Brussels, Belgium) the undulating curvatures of Anna Kruhelska’s sculptural wall installations produced dynamic shadow play in contrast to Simone Christen’s painted pools of diluted blue, like dye drops magnified under a microscope, that offered stilling meditation. I found the earthy counterpart to Galerie Duret’s cool-toned fluidity at Shibori PTY LTD (Sydney, Australia). Striations of rich reds, deep browns, and orange-yellow caught my eye, leading me to their booth in the corner. At first glance, the work seemed deceptively flat, like a hyper-detailed photograph of Australia’s famous Banded Iron Formations. The works actually comprised hand-dyed textiles layered into shadow boxes of non-reflective glass. The cushy relief produced a topographical quality, reprising the geographical allusion initially brought to mind, like a vignette of a natural landmark — another prevalent subject among participating galleries. 

Works on a wall in a booth at the affordable art fair

From left: works by Anna Kruhelska and Simeone Christen on view in Galerie Duret’s booth at the Affordable Art Fair Austin. Photo: Rebecca Marino

Photo of a visitor looking at works on a wall at the Affordable Art Fair

Works by Karen Davis and Pepa Martin on view in Shibori PTY LTD’s booth at Affordable Art Fair Austin. Photo: Rebecca Marino

Perhaps it was the vast and varied landscape of Texas itself that inspired galleries to exhibit numerous representations of the natural world. Kristin Moore’s precisely painted compositions of Ruscha-esque Texas roadside scenes were offset by, again, strong abstraction in  Dimmitt Contemporary’s booth (Houston, TX & Austin, TX). Fremin Gallery (New York, NY) had a similar installation inclination in displaying Thannyo De Freitas’ floating forests in oil alongside Alex Voinea’s splashy streams of color. Other booths featured a fusion of abstraction and landscape, similar to Karen Davis and Pepa Martin’s work on view in Shibori’s booth, such as Marie Laforey’s haptic aerial moss assemblages and Isabella Menin’s photographically manipulated floral compositions in Muriel Guépin Gallery’s booth (New York, NY). 

View of a visitor looking at landscape paintings on a wall at the affordable art fair

From left: Works by Kristin Moore, Luke Diiorio, Ruth Borgenicht, and Michelle Weddle on view in Dimmitt Contemporary’s booth at the Affordable Art Fair Austin. Photo: Rebecca Marino

Visitor looking at abstract paintings on a wall at the affordable art fair

From left: Works by Alex Voinea and Thannyo De Freitas on view in Fremin Gallery’s booth at the Affordable Art Fair Austin. Photo courtesy Affordable Art Fair Austin

Of the wide range of subjects and styles on view, none was more befitting for Austin’s branch of Affordable Art Fair than the Neo-Western. After all, it wouldn’t be a proper Texas art fair without a proper Texas cowboy. Just through the fair’s entrance, Michael Gorman’s Giacometti-mannered cowboys and their steeds sprawled across Axiom Contemporary’s (Philadelphia, PA) two-artist booth, offering Austin up as the Western Art Capital within Affordable Art Fair’s kingdom. Austin’s own B Shawn Cox exhibited his sultry lenticulars that superimpose burlesque showgirls over cinema’s all-time-favorite cowboys in Davis Gallery’s booth (Austin, TX). However, the most defining component of Affordable Art Fair Austin was not a stylistic identity constructed from the exhibited work, but the significance of the fair opening in Austin as the city itself emerges onto the international art scene. 

View of visitors looking at work in the booths at Affordable Art Fair

From left: Works by Michael Gorman and Max-Steven Grossman on view in Axiom Contemporary’s booth at the Affordable Art Fair Austin. Photo courtesy Affordable Art Fair Austin

“The [selection] process began two different times, once four years ago, and then another two years ago, which is when we then decided to launch Austin as our next U.S. location. Post-Pandemic we took another look at Austin after the boom in real estate took place with people moving from each coast, but there were many factors that went into it,” said Cori Teague, Fair Director of Affordable Art Fair Austin. “We have a business development team who looks at every statistic you could imagine on who we are as a city. With Austin’s recent evolution and lack of an art fair of its kind, we just knew it was time.”

Portrait of Affordable Art Fair director Cori Teaque

Affordable Art Fair Austin director Cori Teaque. Photo courtesy Affordable Art Fair Austin

Over the course of the weekend, the Affordable Art Fair featured two panel discussions, two print workshops led by Flatbed Press, and a Director’s Tour. Jill McLennon (of McLennon Pen Co. Gallery who featured a solo booth by Austin-based artist Andy Coolquitt) led the panel discussion Art Advisors and Arts Initiatives Within Austin with Penny Aaron, Nick Campbell, Keli Hogsett, and Amanda Kadinov. “I think everyone in the Austin art scene is hopeful and optimistic about the upward swing that is happening right now; all the growth we are seeing. The art fair coming here is one of those major signals,” McLennon commented. “Our discussion highlighted some of the initiatives these art advisors have been doing in order to progress the art scene in Austin.”

View of visitors in the solo booth by Andy Coolquit at McLennon Pen Co’s for the Affordable Art Fair

Andy Coolquit’s solo exhibition in McLennon Pen Co.’s booth at the Affordable Art Fair Austin. Photo: Rebecca Marino

As for what to expect from the forthcoming iterations of the Affordable Art Fair in Austin, Cori Teague is keeping her finger on the pulse of the city’s humming creative hub to incorporate into the fair’s future programming: “I’m excited to evolve different programs throughout the year to continue to build a community of art collectors and enthusiasts, and I want the fair to grow as an event that everyone gets excited to attend every year. Austin can expect new curations, new galleries, bigger installations, exciting events, and more!”

View of the walkway of the Affordable Art Fair

Installation view of the Affordable Art Fair Austin. Photo: Rebecca Marino

Visitors talking with a gallerist at the Affordable Art Fair

Muriel Guépin Gallery’s booth at the Affordable Art Fair Austin. Photo: Rebecca Marino

Handing two and three dimensional works in a booth at the Affordable Art Fair

Dimmitt Contemporary’s booth at the Affordable Art Fair Austin. Photo: Rebecca Marino

View of the walkway of the Affordable Art Fair

Installation shot of the Affordable Art Fair Austin. Photo: Rebecca Marino.

The post How Was the Inaugural Edition of the Affordable Art Fair Austin? appeared first on Glasstire.

28 May 13:04

The Blanton Announces Bake-Off Winners

by Jessica Fuentes

The Blanton Museum of Art in Austin has announced the winners of its annual Bake-Off.

Earlier this year the museum opened a call for submissions for its fifth annual culinary competition. As in previous years, participants were invited to draw inspiration from the Blanton’s permanent collection. Submissions were accepted in three categories: Under 18 (for young bakers), Adult Amateur, and Adult Professional (people who make baked goods and pastries for a living).

Beginning on May 17, World Baking Day, the public voted online for the best entries in each category. Winners were announced via social media; they are: Tiffanie Huang, Karen Saenz, and Mitzi Avila.

A photograph of a layer cake that resembles a work of art by Lygia Clark.

A layer cake by Tiffanie Huang and Lygia Clark’s “Planes on Modulated Surface (study).”

In the Under 18 category, Tiffanie Huang’s layer cake inspired by Lygia Clark’s Planes on Modulated Surface (study) was selected as the winner. When sliced, the chocolate peppermint cake layered with vanilla sponge cake reveals the same composition as Ms. Clark’s study. On CBS Austin, Maggie Fucile, a museum educator at the Blanton, noted, “I love seeing that Tiffanie pulled from the Clark piece; our Latin American collection is well-known at the Blanton and it’s very cool to see a young baker pulling from such an important artist.”

A side-by-side comparison of a cake by Karen Saenz and a painting by Peter Paul Rubens.

A carrot cake by Karen Saenz and Peter Paul Rubens’ “Head of a Young Man.”

Karen Saenz’s three-layer carrot cake with a food color-painted fondant won the Adult Amateur category. Ms. Saenz drew inspiration from Peter Paul RubensHead of a Young Man, a study that is currently on view at the Blanton. In the Adult Professional category, Mitzi Avila won with her blueberry daisy cake roll with cream cheese and a perforated white chocolate sculpture. This is the second time in a row Ms. Avila has won the competition. Her creation this year was inspired by outdoor elements at the Blanton, including Kay Rosen’s HI mural and “Petals,” the outdoor canopies, which serve as sunshades and rain collectors, by Snøhetta.

A photograph of a cake by Mitzi Avila that resembles a mural by Kay Rosen.

A blueberry daisy cake roll by Mitzi Avila, Kay Rosen’s “HI,” and “Petals” designed by Snøhetta.

Learn more about the Blanton’s annual event via its website.

The post The Blanton Announces Bake-Off Winners appeared first on Glasstire.

28 May 13:02

does being salaried just mean I work a ton of overtime for free, coworker won’t share a file, and more

by Ask a Manager

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Does being salaried just mean I work a ton of overtime with no extra pay?

My position became salaried a while back and, while I understand the general idea of it (no overtime compensation), I’m wondering how working overtime hours should or does function in the real world sense.

For example, I’m compensated based on a 40-hour work week. For a variety of reasons, my work week is routinely more than that and in the last few months has ballooned into approximately 48-55 with evenings and even a weekend day tossed in. It’s a workload and resources thing and, yes, my boss and I have discussed the non-sustainability of this schedule.

Now, I am afforded flexibility in my day. If I need to come in late due to a personal reason (doctor appointment, family health issues, etc.) or need to leave for a brief time during the day to deal with an aging parent issue and then come back, there’s no pushback. But my workweek is still over the 40 hours.

Does being salaried mean I just have to eat all this extra time and oh well? When I was hourly, obviously I got overtime pay or could take that equivalent time off. Now that I’m salaried, am I just … screwed? I work 50 hours a week, they get all that extra work, and if I ever want a day off I have to use a PTO day? So they get a lot of extra hours and days beyond a 40-hour, five-day work week and I get no extra compensation on my end? I love the flexibility when I have to use it but it’s not like I’m “stealing” that time and not making it up (and then some). So how is this supposed to work?

Yes, being salaried (or more to the point, exempt) is often a scam. It’s exactly what you wrote: you can end up working tons of hours with no additional compensation. In return, you get some flexibility. Depending on how that balances out, it’s very often not worth the trade-off. What’s more, we’ve somehow convinced people that being salaried is better and more prestigious! That’s the real scam.

That said, you can try setting some limits with your boss — saying that due to (fill in the blank — family commitments, exhaustion, health reasons, whatever you decide on), you won’t be available to continue working these same hours so you want to talk about how to prioritize. That doesn’t work every time, but it works more than you might think. (Big caveat: if you’re in a field where it’s widely understood that the whole industry’s norm is to work a ton of hours — typically although not always in exchange for high pay — think big law — this won’t work.)

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is being salaried a scam?

2. I got chastised for intervening with a friend’s hiring efforts

A colleague (Ben) just got promoted and will be hiring his own replacement. We work closely together, but I am not his direct report or in his department. Ben is one of the best colleagues I have ever worked with, and we are personal friends as well (we travel to see each other outside of work, we were at each other’s weddings, etc.).

I was nervous about finding someone who would do as good a job as Ben did and was eager to try to help, but I helped in the worst way possible. We had a detailed conversation about what the role would require, and afterwards I thought I knew some other folks at the company would be interested in applying. I told them about the opportunity and gave them advice about the role as I understood it. There wasn’t yet a formal posting for the role or a job description; however, the fact that Ben was being promoted was public knowledge, as was that there’d be a backfill.

This turned out to be a pretty big mistake. I felt instinctively “off” about it after I did it, and a couple days later I got pulled into a meeting with Ben and my manager. Ben told me that what I’d done was a major overstep and was a big issue for him; the conversations we’d had were expected to be private and I was giving advice I should not have been giving, which was not entirely correct, to people who shouldn’t have heard it yet. My manager also made it clear it was not acceptable and not something that could be repeated. I apologized immediately, told them all the details of the conversations I’d had, and after the conversation went over with my manager exactly what the problems were and reiterated my apology. I intend to apologize privately to Ben also, between friends.

In retrospect, I don’t know what I was thinking. I got way ahead of myself and made an error in judgment; I can see why they were upset. But I did not realize it was as serious a screw-up as it was, and I’m not sure where to go from here. I’ve rarely gotten feedback this negative in my career. I have no other discipline issues and have never had one this serious before. I’m good at my job and have never had a bad review. HR was not on the call, but they were on an email following the meeting where Abe summarized what I was to not do, and I responded by reiterating my apology and making it clear I understood.

I’m afraid I can’t recover reputationally. I want to keep my job, and more importantly, I worry I’ve jeopardized a friendship. How can I gauge how big a deal this is going forward? How can I work to repair the breach of trust with my colleagues? Finally, given that I made the mistake, what else should I have done — I think I should have told my manager sooner?

I think you will be fine! This stuff happens, it’s been addressed, and you immediately took responsibility for it, apologized, made it clear you understood, and said you won’t let it happen again. You weren’t doing anything nefarious; you were trying to help and just overstepped. It’s mortifying to get dressed down like that, but one incident like this against the backdrop of generally having good judgment and being conscientious is not going to follow you around forever. (And the intensity of your current mortification tells me that you are someone who’s generally conscientious; people who aren’t don’t respond like this.) It’s likely that two months from now, no one is going to be thinking about this much anymore, including you.

As for what you should have done, ideally you would have told Ben and your manager about it as soon as you started feeling off about those conversations, framed as, “I think I messed up. I thought it was okay to do X, but in retrospect I don’t think I should have because of Y, so I want to let you know what I said and to who, in case there’s any damage control we need to do.”

3. My coworker won’t share a file we both use

I work with, but am not the boss of, our department’s administrative assistant. We have worked together for two years, started around the same time.

The previous administrative assistant maintained a shared file of POs and invoices so we could all access them. I have asked the current assistant to maintain that shared file, but she just created a personal file that she maintains for herself. She has been off a little more regularly this year (vacations, sickness, surgery, bereavement, etc). When she isn’t in, I am her backup and people come to me with the questions they would normally ask her and without access to the file, it isn’t as simple to answer. This past Friday I asked her to share it before she went on a week-long vacation (early in the day, well before the time she was leaving) and her answer was no and that I should be keeping my own file on the same information. I said no, she keeps the file and if she didn’t share it with me then I wouldn’t be answering any questions while she is off all this week.

I have other responsibilities and keeping a separate file seems ridiculous to me, and it was shared previously. But am I wrong? Should I keep my own file? Or should I insist when she returns that she makes the file shared? I may have to get our boss involved. We are usually on friendly terms and while she can be a brat with others in the department, she is normally fine with me (there have been a few times that she has gone silent on me but I have brushed it off). Do I need to keep our relationship just professional and not be friends? We usually work well together and usually have someone I consider to be a friend where I work. Is there too much of a gulf between our roles to be friends as well as colleagues? I am at a loss of what I need to do in this situation and need some guidance.

You should absolutely tell her she needs to keep the file shared. You’re responsible for being her backup, which means you could need access to that file without much notice. It was shared in the past and it needs to be shared now. If she refuses, then yes, you need to take this to your boss. Your colleague is refusing an obvious and necessary workflow and making part of your job impossible.

Whether or not you need to move to a more strictly professional relationship with her is up to you. If you’re happy to stay friendly with someone who periodically goes silent and flatly refuses work requests, have it at! That sounds loaded, like obviously the answer is that you shouldn’t, but I mean that — it’s really just what you’re comfortable with. But don’t let a desire to be friends deter you from bringing your boss into this. Your boss would want to know.

4. When your mom is your only reference

My daughter is applying for full-time jobs. Right now her experience on her resume includes two part-time jobs that are vastly different skill sets. One is hands-on (think along the lines of camp counselor, birthday party leader) and the other is an office job, with admin duties.

The issue is that I am her reference for the job with the admin duties. She has been working here part-time through college and since she graduated. When she applied for the other job, (which is suited to young college-aged people and is not a career job), she listed me as her reference. We have different last names. There is no one else here who could be the reference for her. When they emailed me for a reference, I asked if they would call me. They did and I explained that I wanted to let them know I was her mother, because she didn’t want to mislead them and did not know how to get that across on her reference list. I gave them factual info about her duties, hours, and reliability. Now that she is looking for a more career oriented job, how do we handle this?

Yeah, you can’t really be a reference as her mom. You might be entirely willing to list off all her weaknesses as objectively as possible (my mom sure would; for all I know she’s doing it right now without being asked), but reference-checkers are going to assume that you’re biased and can’t speak in a reliable way to what she’s like an employee.

Which leaves her with the problem of what to do with a reference for her one and only office job! The best thing she can do is to be very up-front about it. She should only offer up references for non-you jobs and if someone asks for a reference for the office job, she should say (without any evasion or defensiveness), “My manager for that job was my mother, so I figured you probably don’t want to use her as a reference — although I’m happy to put you in touch with her if you do.”

Lots of people starting out don’t have office job references; people checking references for very entry-jobs will be used to that. (That said, if she has the opportunity to get more office-y references, even if it’s just volunteering or temping, she should do it.)

5. How to remind employees of policies when they break them

My organization provides therapy to children with disabilities. Our field requires extensive compliance and documentation to ensure fidelity with clinical and operational procedures. All employees sign off on the company employee handbook at the start of their employment. How can I best reiterate policies and procedures to employees without feeling like I am repeatedly throwing the handbook at them? For example, when an employee incorrectly requests time off, I usually snip the handbook policy and offer alternative pathways to ensure compliance from all parties. Is this overkill?

Interestingly, the subject line of your email to me was “if you sign the handbook, are you bound by it?” and that’s a different question than what your letter is asking — which I mention because I think that not recognizing that is muddying your thinking. Your employees are bound by the policies in your handbook whether or not they sign it — but that doesn’t mean that everyone will read it thoroughly or, especially, retain what they read there.

People are going to forget specific policies or just get things wrong. When that happens, sending them a copy of the policy is a pretty stiff/soulless way to handle it. Just talk to them! Remind them of the policy and, to the extent that you can, explain why that’s the policy. That’s more likely to help it stick in their head, and it’s better for people’s morale to feel like they’re interacting with a human who understands they may have been confused or not not have fully understood how the policy should have played out in their particular situation.

28 May 12:55

Man excited to watch TikTok highlight reel of YouTuber reading Wikipedia summary of novel’s Netflix adaptation

by Mark Hill

CALGARY – After seeing all the hype surrounding the award-winning novel The Hornet’s Lament, 34-year-old Reagan Turner is excited to borrow the book from the library, read a few pages, then give up and skim increasingly succinct plot summaries online until he gets the gist of it. “I’ve heard nothing but good things about WordCrusher’s […]

The post Man excited to watch TikTok highlight reel of YouTuber reading Wikipedia summary of novel’s Netflix adaptation appeared first on The Beaverton.

28 May 02:25

So-Called Trad Wife Wasn’t Even Kidnapped From Village By Rival Viking Clan

CLAYTON, MO—Rolling their eyes at the homemaker’s ignorance, sources confirmed Monday that self-proclaimed “trad wife” Tessa Busby was not even kidnapped from the village of her birth by a rival viking clan. “Has she ever gotten stuffed into a sack and transported across the North Sea on a longship?” said one source,…

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28 May 02:23

Surely This The Year Amateur Beatboxing Career Really Takes Off

CHICAGO—Saying his lucky break was almost certainly right around the corner, local man Andy Rutledge told reporters Monday this would surely be the year his amateur beatboxing career really took off. “I’ve been honing my vocal percussion abilities for a long time now, and all that hard work is finally going to pay off…

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28 May 02:23

Veal Calf Approaching Slaughter Wishes It Had Seen More Of 30-Inch Pen

SOUDERTON, PA—Taking stock of his life as his looming death crept ever closer, a local veal calf approaching slaughter reportedly found himself wistfully wishing this week that he had seen more of his 30-inch-wide pen. “If I’m being honest, I regret not trying to turn my head more than 10 degrees in either direction…

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28 May 02:23

Man Who Had Seizure On Cruise Forced To Pay Bill Before Being Evacuated

A man who had a grand mal seizure while on a Royal Caribbean cruise was forced to pay a $2,500 bill before being evacuated to receive emergency treatment, saying that as he was put on a stretcher to be lowered onto a rescue boat, a cruise employee asked “How much can you pay?” What do you think?

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28 May 02:22

College Student Visiting Friend Shocked To Discover Other Schools Have Tradition Where They Drink To Excess

PROVIDENCE, RI—While visiting a hometown friend at Brown University, college sophomore Caleb Martin was reportedly shocked Monday to discover that other schools have traditions where they drink to excess. “It’s as if they stole the idea directly from our own lineage at Tufts, right down to the whole concept of…

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28 May 02:22

Report: Protestor encampment at McGill still cleaner than student residences

by Rob Ito

MONTREAL – A recent examination of the Pro-Palestine protest encampment set up on the McGill University campus has found that the students involved are currently living in conditions that are much more sanitary than in any of the university’s student residence buildings. “Right now we can’t bathe, we have limited power, and every time someone […]

The post Report: Protestor encampment at McGill still cleaner than student residences appeared first on The Beaverton.

28 May 02:21

Comic for 2024.05.27 - Not A Fighter

New Cyanide and Happiness Comic
28 May 02:21

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Apply

by Zach Weinersmith


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
Hope the socks and sandals don't make this NSFW for you.


Today's News:
28 May 02:21

Local Group

Cosmologists estimate the spaghetti strand to be about 200 septillion calories, though it could be higher depending on the nutritional value of dark matter.
28 May 02:20

Epicurean Fine Dining

by Corey Mohler
PERSON: "Welcome to the Epicurean Fine Dining experience, where we put pleasure above all else. "

PERSON: "Sounds wonderful."

PERSON: "For our first course, bread and water."

PERSON: "Oh uh...okay."

PERSON: "How is your food?"

PERSON: "Fine, i guess. Do you have any wine?"

PERSON: "Wine is an unnecessary pleasure. For our second course, however, we do have...bread and water."

PERSON: "But we want more than bread and water."

PERSON: "He who is not satisfied with a little, is satisfied with nothing."

PERSON: "True happiness comes from reducing our desires, and being content with a simple life. Chasing excessive pleasure only leads to unhappiness in the long run. "

PERSON: "But i don't want wisdom, i want wine!"

PERSON: "But you are still charging me $300 for this dinner."

PERSON: "Well yes, the food sucks, but the wisdom is priceless."
27 May 13:35

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Experience

by Zach Weinersmith


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
The weird part is that the second panel is a fantasy too.


Today's News:
27 May 13:35

Awkward Zombie - Natural Scientist

by tech@thehiveworks.com

New comic!

Today's News:

Okay, sure, we've retconned it so that there were actually a bunch of other people on PNF-404 at the time, but Olimar didn't know that.

26 May 15:12

Song of song of songs

https://www.oglaf.com/songsongsong/

26 May 15:11

Top athletes in training to bang the best at Paris Olympics

by Staff

TORONTO – Canadian athletes are deep in the grind as they practice day and night for the chance to bone the hottest people at the Summer Olympics. “Covid put a cramp in everyone’s ability and willingness to really go to town on one another in Tokyo,” remarked five-time medalist Marlon Burke. “There are definitely some […]

The post Top athletes in training to bang the best at Paris Olympics appeared first on The Beaverton.

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Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Energy

by Zach Weinersmith


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