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11 Jun 16:59

Gif of the Day: One of the Best Cricket Plays Ever

Gif of the Day: One of the Best Cricket Plays Ever

If the ball had landed outside the boundary without bouncing first, the batsman would have scored the maximum possible runs from a single shot - 6. If the fielder catches the ball, he's out. However, if the fielder catches the ball but then steps outside the boundary, the batsman scores 6 runs again. What you see here is the fielder attempt to catch the ball, but realise that he can't do that without stepping the boundary. His teammate has read the situation and is supporting him within the boundary. When the initial catcher pushes the ball to his teammate (while still in mid-air) the catch is made and the batsman is out.

Submitted by: (via CoolAsACucumber)

Tagged: sports , gifs , cricket , g rated , win
11 Jun 15:15

Hillary Clinton, Do Not Feel Guilty About Your Pleasures

by Jia Tolentino
A.N

YES

by Jia Tolentino

i have this book it's pretty chill Hillary Clinton talked to the Times about her favorite books: some of the many names mentioned include Laura Hillenbrand, Toni Morrison, John Grisham, Pablo Neruda, George W. Bush and the Bible, which she says "was and remains the biggest influence on my thinking." In the interest of resisting the game of How Much Is This Q&A a Fake-Casual 'Hey' Text For America's Smart Conservative Moms, let me just draw your attention to this one part:

What are your literary guilty pleasures? Do you have a favorite genre?

Cooking, decorating, diet/self-help and gardening books are guilty pleasures and useful time fillers.

In an alternate universe she answered, "Listen, I don't feel guilty about shit, but as a person with an incredibly high-stress job I often find it nice to read books about how to have a prettier life, in which there's no theory or narrative, and the take-aways are always neat—and although people sometimes try to make me feel guilty about reading these books because they're in a feminized sphere, I refuse because I'm Hillary Fucking Clinton."

But this universe she has to be "relatable." Maybe when she's president we'll just start a White House petition to abolish the idea of women self-labeling as guilty for any action that is not explicitly morally incorrect. Change we can believe i- faints from exhaustion. [NYTimes]

6 Comments
11 Jun 14:08

How to Survive in NYC

by swissmiss

survive nyc 31survive nyc 30survive nyc 13survive nyc 65small_86_garbagescentdeath

These animated gifs explaining how to survive in NYC made me laugh out loud. Hat tip off to Nathan W.Pyle!

(via Eric)

10 Jun 19:15

Best Wireframing + Prototyping Tools for Building Websites

by Jason Tselentis

My first post about wireframing design looked at conventional methods like pencil sketches and familiar software from Adobe, but it only scratched the surface. A wealth of tools exist, including web apps, to generate information architecture and layout opportunities.

Best Wireframing + Prototyping Tools, Part 2

Mockingbird

wireframingMockingbird offers a lot of the features that Adobe users have come to accept (including grids and guides), and its UI is extremely friendly.

Also, Mockingbird invites multiple collaborators to work on one project in real-time, rather than having to chop it into parts and delegate components across the team – which is a big advantage. But if you do need to export a file for emailing and reviewing, you can save as a PNG or PDF.

Hotgloo

hotglooBilled as “more than ‘just’ wireframing,” HotGloo has a nifty interface, robust toolkit and built-in feedback acceptance system for internal team reviews or user-testing. Like Mockingbird, HotGloo allows real-time collaboration on a project. And as an added bonus, it offers a wealth of pre-built elements for easy drag-and-drop construction. In terms of bragging rights, HotGloo has been used for prototyping the Academy Awards’ website.

Moqups

moqups; wireframingOf the prototyping tools reported on here, Moqups looks the simplest, and the web app continues to grow incrementally. If you like using Dropbox or Google Drive for file management, you can port your work there. Real-time editing, collaborating with team members, commenting and a bevy of template assets make it a well-rounded tool. There’s also the ability to export your projects in Retina-display resolution.

Justinmind

justinmindAlthough it’s not a web app, Justinmind deserves to be mentioned here for its all-in-one abilities: You can design web or app prototypes all from one place. Justinmind has the ability for implementing gesture support needed for touchscreens into your prototypes, and a toolkit for developing for iOS, Android and let’s not forget Windows Surface. Oh, and you want to prototype for the desktop? Use Justinmind’s desktop design widgets. It’s full service.

Sketch

wireframing; website construction
Sketch probably deserves a blog post unto itself because it’s more than just a prototyping tool. It’s become a replacement for Fireworks, Adobe’s erstwhile interface design program that was a holdover from Adobe’s Macromedia acquisition. Since Fireworks is not included in Creative Cloud, digital and interface designers have had to make the transition from Fireworks to Photoshop, Flash, or InDesign, and oftentimes begrudgingly.

But in a very short time, Sketch has become a go-to solution that has designers asking themselves how they got by without it for so long. And with Sketch Mirror, you can see your design across every viewport at once. It’s not a web app, and if you’re on a Chromebook or Windows PC, you’re out of luck: Sketch is Mac native.

The Web App Advantage

One of the biggest advantages to using web apps for web design is easily previewing your prototypes in a browser. There’s no need to export files, import them into a browser and then go back to the app for modifications. In a web app, it’s all in the browser, so your workflow stays within the context of the end product. Another advantage is pervasiveness: having the design online, within a web app that’s networked, allows you to preview the design in any other viewport, be it a phone, tablet, laptop, desktop, or television.

But that doesn’t mean you should avoid stand-alone apps, especially if you’re working in an environment that may not have an always-on Internet connection. There’s something to be said for the ability to work un-tethered, so you can get work done on a long flight, train or car ride.

When choosing what prototyping tool (or tools) to use, consider testing it across the entire team before committing, making sure to see if it’s within budget and the option jives well with your hardware and operating system. Finally, look at transitioning out of the application. If the app happens to disappear, will you be able to move your work from one platform into another one? Bottom line: have a back-up plan. Since new apps are always on the horizon, keep up with latest releases to ensure your options are the best, and most up-to-date fit.

Want more of Jason’s interactive expertise? Check out the Expert Guide on Agile Methodologies.

agile development;

The post Best Wireframing + Prototyping Tools for Building Websites appeared first on HOW Design.

10 Jun 15:26

Yes, College Students, Hookahs Are Bad for You

by Olga Khazan

It was the first night of college, in that uncomfortable expanse after everyone finished arranging their Target "Dorm Collection" lamps but before anyone had splintered into permanent friend units. A group of us sat in the common room of my all-female dorm, debating what to do on our first night in Washington, D.C.—the big city.

"Why don't we go smoke hookah?" suggested the girl with the nose ring.

"No!" I thought, reflexively falling back on my D.A.R.E. program indoctrination. "That sounds like a drug, and I don't do drugs."

Instead, I meekly asked, "Um, like, what's hookah?"

"Oh, it's like smoking a cigarette, but you smoke the tobacco through water, so it's not as bad for you," the girl said. "My older brother does it all the time."

This was before iPhones, so none of us could find fault with Nose Ring’s impeccable logic.

Thus I spent the first of many college nights lounging in one of D.C.'s vaguely Middle-Eastern hookah bars. In between bites of oily hummus, we’d pass around a mouthpiece—which I coolly resisted wiping before each use—and sucked in smoke that came in flavors like “sweet melon” and “queen of sex.”

It turns out I was one of the 25 percent of college women who try hookah for the first time their freshman year. Perhaps because of their perceived relative safety, hookahs—also known as shishas or water pipes—are growing increasingly popular among young people. Almost twice as many high-school students smoke hookah as smoke e-cigarettes. A survey of eight North Carolina colleges found that 40 percent of students reported having ever smoked tobacco from a hookah—just slightly under the number who said they had ever smoked a cigarette (47 percent). The majority of hookah users think they're safer than cigarettes.

As with many things in life, though, I would have been better off listening to my inner dweeb. A new study suggests that hookahs contain many of the same risks that cigarettes do, including nicotine addiction and the inhalation of carcinogens.

For a paper published last week in the journal Cancer Epidemiology, Biomarkers & Prevention, researchers from the University of California, San Francisco asked a group of 55 regular hookah smokers to abstain from smoking for a week, and then to provide a urine sample.

The participants then spent an evening smoking hookah and gave another sample at the end.

As Healthday reported, the differences between the two urine samples were stark:

“Compared to the urine samples collected after a week of not smoking, the urine sample collected after the evening of hookah smoking had: 73 times higher nicotine levels; four times higher levels of cotinine; two times higher levels of NNAL, a breakdown product of a tobacco-specific chemical called NNK, which can cause lung and pancreatic cancers; and 14 percent to 91 percent higher levels of breakdown products of volatile organic compounds such as benzene and acrolein, which are known to cause cancer, heart and lung diseases.”

The spike in nicotine "raises concerns about the potential addictiveness of water pipe smoking and possible effects on the developing brains of children and youths who use water pipes," study author Gideon St. Helen said in a statement. "I have seen entire families, including young children, smoking water pipes." Nicotine is more harmful to the brains of teenagers and young adults.

Hookahs were among the devices included in the list of tobacco products that the FDA proposed to regulate for the first time last month. Better knowledge of hookahs’ risks might encourage freshmen to find a better way to impress one another—though the other options aren’t great, either.








10 Jun 11:30

Should Paid 'Menstrual Leave' Be a Thing?

by Emily Matchar

For most American women beyond the age of high school gym class, “I’ve got my period” isn’t considered much of an excuse for anything. We’re meant to pop an Advil and get on with things, Red Devil be damned. But in several, mostly East Asian, countries, so-called “menstrual leave” is a legally enshrined right for female workers.

However, as these countries attempt to move toward greater gender equality in the workplace, menstrual leave has come under debate. Do these policies simply further the notion that women are weak, hormonally-addled creatures controlled by their uteri? Or do they encourage more equality by accommodating female workers’ biological demands, much as maternity leave does?

The issue turns out to be surprisingly complicated, with complex historical roots and supporters on both sides of the liberal-conservative divide.

Japan has had menstrual leave since just after World War II. According to the 1947 Labor Standards Law, any women suffering from painful periods or whose job might exacerbate period pain are allowed seirikyuuka (literally “physiological leave”). At the time the law was written, women were entering the workforce in record numbers, and workplaces like factories, mines and bus stations had little by way of sanitary facilities.

The new law, writes researcher Alice J. Dan, was “a symbol for women’s emancipation. It represented their ability to speak openly about their bodies, and to gain social recognition for their role as workers.”

The number of women actually taking their menstrual leave has plummeted over the latter half of the 20th century, but female workers have been reluctant to give it up entirely.

Taiwan’s current menstrual leave legislation is much newer. The 2013 amendment to the country’s Act of Gender Equality in Employment guarantees female workers three days of menstrual leave a year, in addition to the 30 days of half-paid sick leave allotted to all workers. The act originally folded menstrual leave into the regular 30 days of sick leave, prompting a gender-diverse coalition of politicians to claim this was a violation of women’s basic rights. (Imagine, say, Barbara Boxer and Mitch McConnell banding together to support a woman’s right to period days.)

Indonesian women are entitled to take two days a month of menstrual leave, though many companies simply ignore the law, and others have even been accused of forcing women to drop trou and “prove” their need for time off. This month, a delegation of female workers pressed presidential candidates about workplace discrimination, including menstrual leave abuses.

South Korean workers were granted menstrual leave in 2001, though an experiment in extending the policy to female university students was deemed a failure (“faculty members decided that the policy was being abused as an excuse for absence”). The policy has lately come under fire from Korean “men’s rights activists,” who, despite Korea’s heavily male-dominated work culture, see it as a form of reverse discrimination.

These Asian menstrual leave policies appear to be based on the scientifically dubious notion that women who don’t rest during their menses will have difficulty in childbirth later. Some say the laws are therefore more about treating women as future baby-vessels than valued employees.

Then there’s Russia.

Last year, a Russian lawmaker proposed a draft law that would give female workers two days off a month.  His reasoning:

During that period (of menstruation), most women experience psychological and physiological discomfort. The pain for the fair sex is often so intense that it is necessary to call an ambulance … Strong pain induces heightened fatigue, reduces memory and work-competence and leads to colorful expressions of emotional discomfort.

Unsurprisingly, the bill was condemned by Russian feminists and, politically speaking, went nowhere.

But even in countries with well-intentioned menstrual leave policies, many women don’t feel comfortable taking it. They’re understandably embarrassed to tell their superiors they have their period, and they worry they’ll be viewed as weak for taking time off.

The fact is, menstruation is not debilitating for most women. But for up to 20 percent of women, period pain interferes with daily activities just as surely as a nasty cold or flu. Ample paid sick leave would seem to take care of the problem just as well without forcing women to share their lunar cycles with their bosses. It’s no coincidence that several of the countries with menstrual leave also have lackluster sick leave policies—neither Japan nor Korea mandate paid sick leave for non-serious illness.

But then again, neither does the United States. Perhaps we should start agitating for the Boxer-McConnell American Menstrual Leave Act after all?








09 Jun 20:33

The Most 90s Thing That Could Ever Exist

by Alexis C. Madrigal

Wow.

Just. Wow.

This image is bouncing around on Twitter thanks to Jehan Ranasinghe, who dug this thing up, presumably with a time machine, and then tweeted this picture.

Even better, someone has actually digitized the entire thing! It features what it claims to be the first "cyber sitcom" (I guess?), which is a bizarrely meta take on the Wizard of Oz (I guess?). It opens on the 5th floor of Microsoft with Jennifer Aniston and Matthew Perry singing, "Task bars and email and shortcuts oh my!" 

Yes, I am serious.

This is more 90s than Naughty by Nature. More 90s than Larry Johnson's Charlotte Hornets. More 90s than Doc Martens and flannel. More 90s than Road Rules, even.

You're welcome.








09 Jun 15:58

A Rear Window Decal of You, Two Cats and a Big Pile of Money

by Jia Tolentino
by Jia Tolentino

uhHere is a very interesting read at Maclean's about the social valences of stick figure decals: 

Decal-makers may try to be gender-neutral, but they’re going to fail, because the stick figure is never gender-neutral, Wade says. “If it’s a stick figure with a soccer ball, it looks like a boy, and if it’s a stick figure without a soccer ball, it looks like a boy. And if you look at two figures and one is taller than the other, everyone reads the tall one as male. To make it a woman or girl, you have to use gender signals—a skirt or a ponytail.” It’s impossible to avoid reinforcing gender stereotypes, Wade says. “That’s how power works.”

And, on the possibility of subversion in one of the least subversive arenas I can imagine:

What interests Wade most is the blowback to “traditional” stick-family families, from people like Pavlovic. “This is activism happening, when you see couples with no children put decals of two people and piles of money on their cars, or women choosing to put a figure of a woman with a cat, or six.” Identifying yourself as a same-sex couple is another form of resistance, Wade says: “It’s very visible. They’re not coming out to somebody; they’re coming out to everybody.”

Alternately: stick figure decals as a nice example of our ever-present choice between Engage The Trivial Enemy or Ignore Completely Forever; the latter, as always, is looking great to me. [Maclean's]

5 Comments
09 Jun 15:11

Allow This Little Girl to Show You How to Get Water Out of a Boat

Submitted by: (via Amir Azmi)

Tagged: pro tip , Kickass Kid , Video
06 Jun 15:09

"Low-alcohol wines are super hot right now"

by Emma Carmichael
by Emma Carmichael

"'Low-alcohol wines are super hot right now,' says wine writer Katherine Cole." OK, put on your best skeptical-but-listening face and please report back: [NPR]

2 Comments
06 Jun 13:28

Roll Your T-Shirts for Efficient Packing

by swissmiss

Fascinating tutorial on how to ‘roll’ your t-shirts in a way that they won’t crease and save space in your suitcase! Taken from this Lifehacker post on The Best Military Tricks to Make Your Daily Life Easier.

05 Jun 21:04

Moving Beyond Waterfall to Agile Development + Design

by Jason Tselentis

Waterfall has been an industry staple for decades. Find out why the Agile philosophy can make for a more nimble, efficient design process–and discover how to get started.

Whether you’re a designer, illustrator or artisan, you probably know the Waterfall process. It has a clear beginning (planning), middle (design) and end (production and release). This rather Aristotelean method of working in three—or more—acts has worked and continues to work for many of us. But it’s not the only method—so why do we default to using it?

The Waterfall process has its roots in manufacturing and construction. Consider the assembly line, a sequential process of construction where one part after another gets added to a product that finally rolls off the line when it’s completely built and ready for use. When designers embark on a project, we follow a similar process.

We’re familiar with the Waterfall method, and know it for the sequence of check-ins that have to happen before moving on to the next step. A project is initiated, and we learn about needs, scope and benefits through a creative brief we receive or create on our own.

When economic matters are involved—which is often—we consider the marketing factors, like overhead and return on investment. Research and planning requires us to learn more about the problem, perhaps collecting data related to the context and content. We analyze the data and assess what has to happen through the creative process, including issues related to staffing and production. And during this time, we constantly check back to the initial project brief.

Once we have enough information to work with, and understand the people, place, culture and production, we begin design by sketching or roughing things out. Web designers often call this the prototyping or “skinning” stage. Surface treatment such as color, typography, imagery and materials may come into play. We create additional prototypes, conduct reviews and testing in the form of internal critiques, and perform external assessments in the form of focus groups or client reviews. Then we have feedback to compare against the needs we perceived, be they functional, aesthetic
or otherwise.

Waterfall: design and review

Design and review may happen repeatedly until we get things “just right” and have polished the design to a ready state for production. We go through pre-construction where we may see a first draft printed or modeled, but even before doing so, it’s necessary to preflight all of our files and assets necessary for facilitation and production. Once those preliminary files have been assembled and tests have been incorporated and approved—with some edits being made at the blue-line stage of printing, for example—the design is created.

In the case of a website or app design, a very similar process happens, except the production necessitates back-end development in HTML/CSS instead of generation with ink on paper. There may be revisions or edits to make to a printed work, but in nearly all cases a website will have ongoing maintenance, upkeep and content addition, just to name a few tweaks needed as the process unfolds. And the operative word there is ongoing—as in, forever.

For designers, the Waterfall method has been used for most—if not all—of what we do because much of what we’ve produced over the past few decades has been print media. And although the tools we use have changed over those decades, the Waterfall methodology associated with it has changed very little.

Waterfall definitely has its advantages. First and foremost, personnel know what they have to do. Accountability gets distributed. If you’re a copywriter working on the text for a brochure, you know what you have to do and when you need to hand it off to the designer. It’s simply human nature to carry out activities through a kind of “if/then” sequence: If the sun sets, then we should get ready for dinner; if we feel thirsty, then we should drink some water. Our creative process is similar: If I have to lay out a book, then I need the text first; if I’ve designed the book, then I need to review it to make sure there aren’t any errors. Throughout those if/then steps, checkpoints ensure that reviews have been done—and done correctly—before a design moves to the next phase. This gives us (and our team) necessary reassurance.

Agile development for design: an iterative methodology

agile development; agile method, scrum

What is Agile methodology? Agile practices and methodologies date as far back as 1968, but contemporary practices have their roots in what was developed between the 1990s and early 2000s. Being Agile means moving through the development process in a way that is both efficient and effective, “releasing early and often,” and iterating along the way to change—ideally for the better. You release software, websites and products quicker. You stay in touch with your consumers and users, improve quality assurance and improve the product over time (while having something in the market to base your improvements on).

Designers and developers deliver a functioning product to the user, listen to their feedback and make improvements through a state of constant iterations. As such, Agile happens through what Craig Larman calls Iterative and Incremental Development, or “a subset of iterative and evolutionary methods.” IID requires releases to happen frequently, with each release having its own life cycle. Several iterations may happen over the course of a product’s lifespan, with delineated scheduling and staging happening in parts.

Timeboxing requires the team to establish a fixed iteration date or time on task. So if you plan to release something three hours from the time you begin it on a Friday afternoon, then that release time has to happen even if less critical functions aren’t ready by then. At the end of the timebox, you review the work to see if the goal has been met. As long as you’ve completed the one goal you established, you release it within the timebox. With a lifespan of a day to several months, timeboxes vary, and some even have their own moniker.

Agile development and iteration

Industry digital strategy experts, like Mike Arauz agree that an Agile process really works. Arauz will be providing an in-depth look at how to implement an agile workflow at the upcoming HOW Interactive Design Conference September 3-5, 2014  in Washington D.C.  Also here is an simple summary overview of what the Agile approach looks like in terms of the web design process:

Agile Development; agile method; waterfall

1. Develop. A quick release of a website’s single home page must happen. Develop only the home page over a period of four days.

2. Establish. Create five timeboxes to craft the written content, lay out the page, program the HTML/CSS, test it internally and release it.

3. Release. The single page of the site goes online.

4. Assess. Gain customer input and develop customer relationships through online data gathering, such as Google Analytics, feedback or review prompts and/or social media.

5. Research. Use feedback channels to learn what content users want, and to clarify site modifications in the project’s updated goals.

6. Modify. Work on those items to be added—the most important items—and get them integrated into the site.

7. Review. Pass designed items through the given review/acceptance channels.

8. Be Agile. You’ve released something quickly and have made changes based on feedback to evolve the site. You constantly check in with users and work on the most important items first, as dictated by customer requests.

Being Agile requires you to be an agent of change, and quality is important over the course of the changes you make. Don’t rush through the work during the production and design stages in order to meet your goals. Good design and good programming are as important here as anywhere else.

Implementing the Agile approach and delivering to the customer early and often isn’t a foolproof recipe for success, just like using the Waterfall method isn’t always a sure thing, either. For designers who work on websites and apps, the question of quality may come before the question of completeness. Being Agile may mean getting a project out the door with a less-than-typically-acceptable “look and feel.” The fonts may not look “just right” in the early iterations. Remember that quality is important, but try not to let striving for “perfect” get in the way of “good” and slow down your overall process.

Dig into more Agile processes in the complete Expert’s Guide

agile development;

The post Moving Beyond Waterfall to Agile Development + Design appeared first on HOW Design.

05 Jun 15:51

@SavedYouAClick is the Anti-Twitter to Today's Clickbait Internet

@SavedYouAClick is the Anti-Twitter to Today's Clickbait Internet

What you're seeing here are tweets from @SavedYouAClick, a Twitter account devoted to answering the dumb questions posed by today's internet headlines (not that we have ever used or condoned such intentionally-vague clickbaiting ahem ahem). With just a few words or a photo attachment, @SavedYouAClick does all the heavy lifting of internet skimming for you, and we're all the better for it.

Submitted by: (via @SavedYouAClick)

Tagged: twitter , headline , clickbait
04 Jun 18:31

Too Emotional, Too Sensitive, Too Much

by Rachel Vorona
by Rachel Vorona

♫♬ 2 much of something ♫♬ When I was maybe three or four, I wept upon seeing my mother after she returned from the hairdresser. She’d clipped a few inches and in doing so, irrevocably altered her visual context, and, as it seemed to me at the time, transformed into another woman who was not my mother. Later that same day, already devastated by the slight change in my mother’s coiffure, I announced—loudly—my displeasure at the way the ivy was placed on the clock that was hanging in the kitchen. Maybe it seemed oddly parallel to my mother’s haircut (the ivy hung down the sides of the clock, somewhat like hair); maybe my childhood eccentricity was the sort that would make me suddenly become invested in plant decor regardless.

In any case, I spent much of my childhood having prolonged, seemingly inexplicable outbursts like this, and my flummoxed mother came to describe me as a “raw nerve.” I was neurotic, haphazardly emotional, ultra-sensitive to change. Growing older has soothed this somewhat. I am much less inclined now to weep at the specific drape of a potted plant. But every once in awhile, I still worry that I am much too emotional and much too sensitive. Much too easily moved to tears. Simply: that I am just too much.

In 2010, my love of all things Victorian and most things Tim Burton sent me to the movies to see his adaptation of Alice in Wonderland. I left generally underwhelmed by the film but very taken with one of its terms: “muchness.” If you’ve seen the movie, you probably remember everybody bemoaning, over the course of the film, that Alice has “lost her muchness.” The word’s definition is left ambiguous, but it suggests an amalgamated form of courage, assertiveness, and passion. Until she can summon her muchness, Alice remains powerless to defeat the sociopathic Red Queen. And, of course, Alice and her muchness do prevail.

It pleased me to see female strength tethered to emotion in such a positive way, and to come away from the movie with this gift of an old visceral feeling articulated in language. But I also know that Alice’s “muchness," so empowering in this particular manifestation, is not the muchness that I have known. My version is much more fraught: the inconvenient tendency to burst into tears at the wrong moment, or to experience seemingly tame events in extraordinarily sensitized ways. It is something I often have associated with feelings of shame and personal diminishment; it is an emotional and physiological roadblock, something I have had to navigate on the path to being acknowledged as a reasonable human being; it is an innate tendency to respond passionately that I constantly worry diminishes my “professional persona.”

Depending on the circumstances, masking my emotional vulnerability can feel utterly impossible. As a graduate student I learned how important it was to learn how to “perform competence,” which tends to mean suppressing intense emotions, even in the most difficult circumstances. It is true that we admire the passion scholars bring to their research, particularly when it is manifested publicly. But however genuine, that passion can never be separated from performance—and to perform implies self-control. What we must not and cannot do is lose control.

I did not learn these lessons easily, and they are not unique to my field. In the workplace muchness is something that must be squelched; we must behave as expected. That is what I have endeavored to do so far—so much so that when my voice shakes in a public space, and my eyes start misting, I'm overwhelmed with anxiety that others will notice, and soon I'm awash in shame. On the one hand, I recognize the hyperbole of this reaction. But its magnitude stems from acute awareness that public vulnerability is regarded as inappropriate. And for women, it is especially damning.

For centuries, our society has tethered emotional expression to femininity. So many public spaces have been—and continue to be—hostile to women; expressions of muchness are almost always unwelcome. In muting myself for the sake of my professional reputation, I have accommodated and perpetuated a climate resistant to muchness, one that treats it as a shortcoming to be concealed at the very least, ideally overcome.

But vulnerability is not weakness. I wish it was not regarded as a marker of incompetence or lack of professionalism. Creating a more feminist professional sphere means supporting one another in our vulnerable moments without chastisement or judgment.

I asked some of my female friends whether they had experienced censure or feelings of shame for being emotional. One friend, also a graduate student, expressed her frustration with “female professors” who “seem invested in cultivating a generation of take-no-shit women who have no feelings at all.”

To an extent, I sympathize with what leaders like this are responding to: the stereotyping that casts passionate women as maudlin and irrational. But our answer should not be to attack emotional vulnerability itself. Uninhibited feeling in no way indicates one’s predisposition to taking shit.

Of course, I would rather have a good cry alone, or with someone close to me, not in public. But I wonder how much this preference derives from shame. I wonder what it would be like to live in a world where emotion carries less baggage, and we do not diminish others or ourselves—even subconsciously—for the temporary inability to “keep it together.” I loathe this expression because of the way it seems to both demand and exonerate emotional suppression.

Lately, Leslie Jamison wrote beautifully in The Empathy Exams about bodily wounds as “the threshold[s] between interior and exterior,” as self-exposure. When we ask others to “keep it together,” we ask them to seal a threshold created through the experience of—sometimes profound, unbearable—pain. We are saying, “I am not willing to bear witness to your wound, your muchness.” Yet I do want to bear witness. I, like Alice, draw power from my muchness. It has taken me years to understand this, but it’s true.

Rachel Vorona is an English doctoral candidate living in Washington, D.C. She also writes creative non-fiction and personal essays at positiveandpromise.wordpress.com. You can find her on Twitter here:@RachelVorona.

8 Comments
04 Jun 18:26

How I learned to live without a refrigerator

by Penelope Trunk

I lived in New York City for ten years. I had a 500 square foot rent-stablized apartment in Park Slope. Every week I lived there someone asked me to tell them if I’m planning to move.

To squeeze into 500 square feet with my husband, we put our winter clothes in storage. Then our books. When our son was born, all our belongings went into storage to make room for his. And when we had a second kid, we got rid of the beds. The kids slept on a counter that turned into a bed and a dining room table that turned into a bed.

I had phenomenal window boxes in the summer. Not so much because I liked gardening but because it seemed like free space and no one gives up free space in New York.

But eventually my baby rolled off his countertop bed, and a kid at school asked my four-year-old why he didn’t have a bedroom. And I had began to dream every night that I had more space.

I was making $200K a year as a writer and it was getting me nothing bigger in New York. So we moved to Madison WI, because I read how it was a top city to raise kids. After moving there I discovered it’s the most overrated city in the US.

I got a house in Madison with five bedrooms. Because I could. They stayed empty for a year except for a few mattresses on the floor. In hindsight I think I had post-traumatic stress from small spaces and could not recuperate fast enough to enjoy the benefits of cheap real estate.

I married a farmer and moved into his farmhouse and woke up every day nearly in tears at the idea that I had my own 125 acres. I felt like I just got a huge house on Fifth Avenue butting up against Central Park.

I became a decorating maven. I tried turn-of-the-century decor because that’s what I was used to in my four-story walk-up. But you can’t force Victorian style on a depression-era farmhouse.

I got to work creating a style that could bond me and the house and farmers who had lived there.

I made a music room with a spoon chandelier.

I told my kids their Garfield beanbag chair does not meet my decorating goals and I forced on them furniture with grown-up pre-war shapes. (I need to enjoy the photos now because my kids will probably spend years in therapy talking about how I wouldn’t let them decorate their own bedroom.)

My favorite room in the house is the kitchen. I cook three meals a day, something I never in a million years thought I’d be doing, but there is nowhere to go out to eat when you live on a farm. So I made sure to love every little thing in my kitchen.

And, like all people who love a room, there’s always one more thing they need. Mine was the refrigerator. I looked at refrigerators for a year and everything looked too modern, and even the 1950s replicas did not fit my 1850s atmosphere.

So I found refrigerators refurbished in France. The company would ship me a shell of an 1850s ice chest and I’d turn it into a refrigerator in the US. But when I saved up the $20K, I realized it would be another $20K to get the refrigeration part done.

Then my husband told me we had to get rid of our current refrigerator which was twenty-five years old. It was leaking each morning and ruining the floors along with all the food it wasn’t refrigerating.

“We are living like slum lords,” he said. “No one has a refrigerator like this.”

“I’m not spending money on a fridge I hate. I’m saving for the one I love.”

“How much is it?”

“Forty thousand.”

He walked out of the room.

Then he came back. “This is crazy. We can’t keep living with that fridge. I had a better fridge under my desk in my college dorm than we have in our house.”

“Dorm room fridge? Okay. I hear you.”

Kiss. Hug.

Three days later six dorm room fridges arrive from Amazon. I paint them with chalkboard paint and stack them horizontally because I have decided that in 1850 there were not cupboards and the vertical look in a kitchen is modern. I won’t have it.

My husband says, “Where’s the milk?”

I point. “In the drink fridge, can’t you see the picture of the straw?”

No one can find anything in my new fridge system. Not even me. The kids open a new ketchup every time they can’t find the old one. So before long we have a ketchup in every fridge.

Soon I realize we are not using refrigeration because we can’t find anything if we put it there. I channel my days in New York City where I could learn to live without almost anything, and I throw out some of the fridges. I tell myself I’m saving money because I’m coming up with a solution that does not involve buying a fridge for $40K.

I realize vertical is fine, if it’s right.

I have three refrigerators. We use one for medicine for the baby kittens that come every spring and have eye infections that must be endemic to our farm. We use one for sauces that I always forget to use. And we use one for sushi that I bring home as a treat from Chicago.

We eat what I cook meal after meal until it’s gone. No refrigeration. We have a cow, cut up in a huge freezer in the cellar. I thaw a section out in the sink and cook it that day. We eat out of the garden in the summer.

In the winter we have potatoes and squash and things that don’t need to be refrigerated. It’s boring, yes, but it’s not far from how people have been eating for centuries. And it makes the coming of spring feel like a feast.

There’s a lot written about minimalism. About small budgets and tiny homes. So much is possible that we haven’t thought of. At first the idea of no refrigeration seemed crazy to me, but now it feels fine.

For years I’ve told people to do what they want to do and stop worrying about money. I tell them to quit the job they hate and get a job they like. I tell them to homeschool their kids, I tell people to relocate to a place they can afford with the money they can earn.

But people obsess over what we give up. Dan Ariely’s research shows that we obsess over what we might lose and downplay what we might gain. Which means we are loathe to give up anything.

Dan Gilbert’s research shows that we have a steady state of happiness. Even if we lose our right arm, we will not change our happiness in the long run.

What I learned from living in NYC, and then from giving up refrigeration, is that we can give up a lot. We are way more flexible than we give ourselves credit for. Be brave enough to give up a lot to get what you want.

04 Jun 14:37

I'll Help You, Little Guy!

This little fawn gets stuck in a gate, and a kind-hearted person comes along to help it out!

Submitted by: (via hikeart)

Tagged: cute , deer , fawn , Video , rescue
04 Jun 14:13

Racism Lives On Under the Cover of 'Religious Freedom'

by Emma Green

In most parts of America, "separate but equal" seems like the vestige of a bygone era. Segregated lunch counters, race-divided bathrooms, signs reading "whites only"—these are anachronisms of the 1960s, half a century into the country's past.

Except where they're not.

In an interesting new survey, the Public Religion Research Institute found that 10 percent of Americans believe business owners should be able to refuse to serve black people if they see that as a violation of their religious beliefs. This was pretty much the same across regions, too; the Northwest and the Midwest had slightly higher percentages than the South and the West. Gen X-ers, not old people, were most likely to agree—13 percent said they support the right to refuse. Men were slightly more likely to agree than women, and Catholics slightly more likely than Protestants. Hispanics were the biggest outlier by far: 18 percent agreed with the right to refuse service to blacks.

Ten percent of the population may not seem like a lot, but it points to how racism and segregation are still potent 50 years after the end of Jim Crow. In the past five decades since the peak of the civil-rights movement, some racial policies have changed—for example, workplace discrimination has been outlawed. That doesn't mean prejudice has disappeared; quite the opposite, actually. But this particular attitude, that outward racial discrimination is permissible because of a "religious belief," seems extreme and dated; these days, socially acceptable racism is a lot more subtle

It's also telling that racial discrimination is being paraded as "religious freedom." A similar explanation was argued in the recent controversy over an Arizona photographer's refusal to take pictures at a gay wedding, and in this poll, a portion of respondents said it's okay to refuse services to gays and lesbians. Sixteen percent agreed that this is acceptable, including 19 percent of men, 21 percent of Republicans, and 26 percent of white evangelicals. Gay marriage and culture are gaining acceptance in the United States, but it's nowhere near "normal"—in a 2013 Pew poll, only 54 percent of respondents said they have a "favorable opinion" of gay men. 

And on other issues of belief and lifestyle, Americans are also more willing to accept discrimination. Fifteen percent of PRRI's respondents, including 19 percent of Republicans and 21 percent of white evangelicals, said it's okay to deny services to atheists. And 12 percent said the same about Jews, including 16 percent of Midwesterners and 14 percent of Gen X-ers, who were consistently most likely to agree with the right to discriminate throughout the survey. 

This way of thinking is the logical extreme of increasingly loud rhetoric about "the war on religion": Any belief, no matter how arbitrary, can justify economic segregation. It's the opposite of pluralism, a version of "religious liberty" that's both freedom to practice faith and freedom from others who don't. Buying and selling stuff is one of the most basic ways Americans interact with each other—if people can't tolerate difference in the economic sphere, they probably can't tolerate it anywhere. 

Ironically, this kind of thinking also shows up in an inverted form, like in calls to protest Chick-fil-A because the company donated to anti-gay-marriage campaigns. Although protests are different than outright refusals to serve gays and lesbians or racial and religious minorities, the attitude toward pluralism is the same: Don't trade with people who are different from you, or who believe different things. In this poll, the best explanation for the minority view is probably straightforward racism, homophobia, and anti-Semitism. But hovering beneath that is an important claim: Economic life is an acceptable realm for segregation.








04 Jun 12:15

New Facebook Feature Scans Profile To Pinpoint Exactly When Things Went Wrong

by Endswell

The new LifePoint function distills each user’s mistakes into one easy-to-find moment when their lives irrevocably took a turn for the worse.

The Onion via Doobybrain

03 Jun 18:46

No One Mad at Rosie The Puppy for Driving a Car Into a Pond

by Emma Carmichael
by Emma Carmichael

"After a walk with her owner in the morning, the puppy climbed into the car and got her leash tangled in the gear shift.

"While trying to break free, Rosie fell on the accelerator, sending the vehicle forward, Canton police said.

"The car landed in Bolivar Pond."

—Rosie, a five-month-old German Shepard, was not hurt. [Boston Globe]

5 Comments
03 Jun 17:56

How to Make the Narcissist in Your Life a Little Nicer

by Olga Khazan

Love is great, but it’s actually empathy that makes the world go ‘round. Understanding other peoples’ viewpoints is so essential to human functioning that psychologists sometimes refer to empathy as “social glue, binding people together and creating harmonious relationships.”

Narcissists tend to lack this ability. Think of the charismatic co-worker who refuses to cover for a colleague who’s been in a car accident. Or the affable friend who nonetheless seems to delight in back-stabbing.

These types of individuals are what’s known as “sub-clinical” narcissists—the everyday egoists who, though they may not merit psychiatric attention, don’t make very good friends or lovers.

“If people are in a romantic relationship with a narcissist, they tend to cheat on their partners and their relationships break up sooner and end quite messily,” Erica Hepper, a psychologist at the University of Surrey in the U.K., told me. “They tend to be more deviant academically. They take credit for other peoples' work.”

Psychologists have long thought that narcissists were largely incorrigible—that there was nothing we could do to help them be more empathetic. But for a new study in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, Hepper discovered a way to measurably help narcissists feel the pain of others.

First, she gathered up 282 online volunteers who hailed from various countries but were mostly young and female. They took a 41-question personality quiz designed to assess their levels of subclinical narcissism, checking boxes next to statements like “I like to have authority over other people” or “I will be a success.” They then read a story about a person named Chris who had just gone through a breakup, and then took another quiz to determine how bad they felt for Chris. The more narcissistic among them were indeed less likely to feel empathy for the fictional jilted man.

An important note here: The study participants, though they’re described as “narcissists,” were not clinically diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, a bona-fide mental illness. Psychologists aren’t sure how much overlap there is between functional people who are very narcissistic and those who suffer from NPD. One rule of thumb, Hepper tells me, is that most ordinary narcissists are happy, while NPD tends to lead its sufferers to extreme dissatisfaction with life.

Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin

For her next manipulation, Hepper and her co-authors asked a group of 95 female undergrads to take the same narcissism quiz, and then later to watch a 10-minute documentary about Susan, a victim of spousal abuse. Half were told to try to put themselves in Susan’s shoes (“Imagine how Susan feels. Try to take her perspective in the video...”), while the others were told to imagine they were watching the program on TV one evening.

The subjects who were told to take Susan’s perspective were significantly more likely to score higher on empathy. In fact, the more narcissistic they were, the more the trick seemed to work.

“I think what's going on here is that people who are low on narcissism are already responding to people—telling them what to do isn't going to increase their empathy any further,” Hepper said. “But the higher on narcissism you get, the less empathy [you feel]. By instructing them to think about it, it activates this empathic response that was previously much weaker.”

And the narcissists weren’t just faking it. In a third experiment, Hepper showed that extreme narcissists had lower-than-average heart rates when listening to a recording of a woman in distress. (That is, “Their lack of empathy is more than skin-deep,” Hepper writes.) But if they were told to take the woman’s perspective, their heart rates leapt back up to a normal level.

Hepper thinks that eventually, this research could help shape therapeutic interventions aimed at narcissists. Teachers or human resources representatives could use such tools to try to get their resident egomaniacs to be more charitable.

Perhaps one day we can banish all the world’s narcissists to a desert island littered with tanning beds and TV cameras. Until that day, this type of compassion training might be the best weapon we have against the self-absorbed. As Hepper said, maybe it can help make the world “a nicer, more prosocial place.”








03 Jun 12:50

2014 logo trends

by David Airey

LogoLounge

Another year, another logo trend compilation from Bill Gardner of LogoLounge.

Khoi Vinh shared thoughts on the compilation’s merit, much of which I agree with.

And here’s a relevant 2008 read from johnson banks.

02 Jun 15:38

It’s worse than I thought. Unless I thought it was worse at one point and just forgot how bad I thought it was.

by thebloggess

So, I saw this on Pinterest…

yep

…and I was like, “Holy hell.  Yes.  This happens to me every damn week when I try to sign up on a new website” and so I went to pin the picture on my board and then I got this message:

doubleyep

So basically I tried to pin a picture explaining how baffling it is when your computer is like, “What is wrong with you?  You’ve already done this, asshole” and then my computer was like, “What is wrong with you?  You’ve already done this, asshole.”

Awesome.  Things are worse than I thought.  Unless, of course, I thought it was worse than this at some point in the past but I’ve just forgotten just how bad I once thought that it was.  I really can’t be trusted at this point.

Ps.  No worries if you miss today’s post because I assume next year this’ll happen again and I’ll write almost the exact same post all over again.

PPS.  Is it just me?  Am I just getting old?  Or is it just that we have so many things in our heads nowadays that they have to be purged often so we have more room for algebra formulas and videos of cats falling off tables?

****************

And in other news, it’s time for the weekly wrap-up: sid What you missed in my shop (Named “Eight pounds of uncut cocaine” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

  • As requested, THE BLOGGESS IS MY COPILOT mugs.  This might seem a bit sacrilegious because Jesus is supposed to be your copilot, but Jesus is always having to “take the wheel” and give people piggie-back rides on the beach and be your copilot but technically Jesus never drove, so maybe stop making him your chauffeur.  Also, why do the same people who say “Jesus, take the wheel!” always have those bumper stickers that say “In case of Rapture, this car will be unmanned”?  It seems a bit selfish.  “Jesus, take the wheel! (Unless I’m already in heaven and in that case just let this car run into an animal shelter, because fuck those cats.)”  I might be misinterpreting that though.  I haven’t got the part in the Bible where Jesus got his learner’s permit.

What you missed on the internets:

This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:

This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Relish!, a truly cool meal-planning service for busy parents who like healthy delicious dinners, every night.  Unlike some menu planning services that tell you what you’re going to eat for the week, Relish lets you pick from a weekly assortment and choose what you’d like to make (with tons of 5 ingredient recipes). A cleverly organized grocery list is automatically created which lists the ingredients you need for a week of meals–all of which take under 30 minutes to prepare.  Subscriptions start at $5 a month, and five complete dinners for a family of four runs less than $85.   And check out their gluten-free sister site at Gfreecuisine.com.
30 May 19:35

There's No Such Thing as a Slut

by Olga Khazan

In 2004, two women who were long past college age settled into a dorm room at a large public university in the Midwest. Elizabeth Armstrong, a sociology professor at the University of Michigan, and Laura Hamilton, then a graduate assistant and now a sociology professor at the University of California at Merced, were there to examine the daily lives and attitudes of college students. Like two Jane Goodalls in the jungle of American young adulthood, they did their observing in the students’ natural habitat.

The researchers interviewed the 53 women on their floor every year for five years—from the time they were freshmen through their first year out of college.

Their findings about the students’ academic success later formed the basis for Paying for the Party, their recent book about how the college experience bolsters inequality. They found that the women’s “trajectories were shaped not only by income ... but also by how much debt they carried, how much financial assistance they could expect from their parents, their social networks, and their financial prospects.”

But in the process, they began to notice that the women’s attitudes about sex were also influenced by their families’ incomes. On top of asking the students about GPAs and friend groups, the researchers also dug into their beliefs about morality—sometimes through direct questions, but often, simply by being present for a late-night squabble or a bashful confession.

“We were there on the floor when these dramas would emerge about slut-bashing,” Armstrong told me. “We saw working class girls walk out of their dorms to visit boys, and the privileged girls would say, ‘why are you wearing that?’"

As Armstrong and Hamilton write in a new study published in Social Psychology Quarterly, economic inequality drove many of the differences in the ways the women talked about appropriate sexual behavior.

All but five or six of the women practiced “slut-shaming,” or denigrating the other women for their loose sexual mores. But they conflated their accusations of “sluttiness” with other, unrelated personality traits, like meanness or unattractiveness. It seems there was no better way to smear a dorm-mate than to suggest she was sexually impure.

“If you want to make a young woman feel bad, pulling out the term ‘slut’ is a sure fire way to do it,” Armstrong said. “It’s ‘she isn’t one of us, we don't like her and she's different.’”

Because most of the slut-shaming occurred in private, women were both targets and producers of it, and it was rare for the term “slut” to stick to any one woman. Instead, the other women were simply foils for each others’ supposed sexual virtue. One woman described her best friend like so:

“She just keeps going over there because she wants his attention because she likes him. That’s disgusting. That to me, if you want to talk about slutty, that to me is whoring yourself out.”

For her analysis, Armstrong divided the cohort in two, with wealthier women in one group and the working-class ones in the other. Each group tended to band together, with the poorer half feeling excluded from Greek life and other high-status social activities. Several of the low-income students, for example, balked at the cost of the $50 "rush" t-shirt, Armstrong said.

The rich women tended to view casual sex as problematic only when it was done outside of steady relationships, and even then, only when it included vaginal intercourse. Meanwhile, frequent “hooking up,” which to them included kissing and oral sex, did not a slut make. “I think when people have sex with a lot of guys that aren’t their boyfriends, that’s really a slut,” as one put it.

The poorer women, by contrast, were unaware that “hooking up,” in the parlance of the rich women, excluded vaginal intercourse. They also tended to think all sex and hook-ups should occur primarily within a relationship.

The two classes of women also defined “sluttiness” differently, but neither definition had much to do with sexual behavior. The rich ones saw it as “trashiness,” or anything that implied an inability to dress and behave like an upper-middle-class person.

One woman, for example, “noted that it was acceptable for women to ‘have a short skirt on’ if ‘they’re being cool’ but ‘if they’re dancing really gross with a short skirt on, then like, oh slut.’”

The poorer women, meanwhile, would regard the richer ones as “slutty” for their seeming rudeness and proclivity for traveling in tight-knit herds. As one woman said, “Sorority girls are kind of whorish and unfriendly and very cliquey.”

Armstrong notes that midway through their college experience, none of the women had made any friendships across the income divide.

To Armstrong, it seemed like even though the wealthy and poor women were slut-shamed roughly equally in private, it was mostly only the poor women who faced public slut-shaming. And it only seemed to happen when the poorer women tried to make inroads with the richer ones.

“There was one instance where one of the [working class] women, Stacey, was watching the show The OC and made some comment about the sexual behavior of one of the characters of the show,” Armstrong told me. “And a rich woman, Chelsea, said something like, ‘Oh, you're such a slut yourself, you shouldn't be calling her out.’ It was supposed to be a joke, but it misfired and [Stacey] ran crying from the room.”

A series of emissaries were sent up and down the hall in an attempt to make amends, but the damage had been done. “None of the other women in the room chimed in to defend Stacey’s virtue,” Armstrong notes.

By Armstrong’s tally, more rich women than poor women took part in hook-ups throughout college. The poorer women seemed to notice that their wealthier dorm-mates were more sexual, but felt they couldn’t get away with being similarly libertine. The wealthier women, meanwhile, seemed unfazed by accusations of sluttiness if they came from their lower-status peers. (Think of Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian, for whom public displays of sexuality were the rocket fuel on which they jetted to fame.)

“The high-status women would literally snub or look through the poorer women,” Armstrong said. “They would blow them off entirely. We spent a lot of time asking who would say hi to who; who would let the door slam in someone's face.”

According to Armstrong, one sorority member said, “I only see people who are Greek; I don't know who the other students are. They are like extras.”

The rampant slut-shaming, Armstrong found, was only a symptom of the women’s entrenched classism. But more importantly, the allegations of sluttiness had little to do with real-life behavior. The woman with the most sexual partners in the study, a rich girl named Rory, also had the most sterling reputation—largely because she was an expert at concealing her sexual history.

“Rory was going to lie till the day she died,” Armstrong said. “She would only have sex with guys who didn't know each other. She constantly misrepresented what she was doing and didn't tell people where she was going.”

One of the most striking things Armstrong learned was that, despite the pervasiveness of slut-shaming, there was no cogent definition of sluttiness, or of girls who were slutty, or even evidence that the supposedly slutty behavior had transpired. In the study, she notes that though “women were convinced that sluts exist” and worked to avoid the label, some of their descriptions of sluttiness were so imprecise (‘‘had sex with a guy in front of everybody”) that they seemed to be referring to some sort of apocrypha—“a mythical slut.”

“The term is so vague and slippery that no one knows what a slut was or no one knows what you have to do to be that,” she told me. “It circulated around, though, so everyone could worry about it being attached to them.”

Perhaps no recent example of slut-shaming is as horrifying as the shooting in Santa Barbara last week. Before killing seven people in his rampage, Elliot Rodger vowed to “slaughter every single spoiled, stuck-up blonde slut”— all while complaining that those very same “sluts” refused to sleep with him.

To Armstrong, the shooting highlighted that “slut” is simply a misogynistic catch-all, a verbal utility knife that young people use to control women and create hierarchies. There may be no real sluts, in other words, but there are real and devastating consequences to slut-shaming.








30 May 19:26

Tennis Player Novak Djokovic Wins the Crowd Over By Serving His Own Ball Boy During a Rain Delay

A.N

WTH did this make me tear up.

30 May 17:46

Moment of Zen: Here's a Goat Riding its Person Riding a Bike

Submitted by: (via MoveinJap)

Tagged: motorcycle , pets , goats , Video
29 May 20:51

Three-Ingredient Sauce for Steak and Other Delicious Things

by BenBirdy1
A.N

sharing so i don't lose it.



Oh, the end of May! I love it so much. It's like the Thursday night of the whole school year, is how I feel. You're not done yet, but you start to enjoy anticipating being done so profoundly that this moment might be even better than the later doneness itself because the whole summer is still to come, dawning in front of us like a golden orb of promise and lazy mornings and NO SCHOOL LUNCHES TO MAKE and camping and popsicles and oooooh, I can't wait.
The obligatory May cigar-vase photo. Didn't I just post one, like, yesterday? When the children were still small and peachy?
We spent Memorial Day with lots of our closest friends, and I am in such a strange state, such a vibrant wabi-sabi mix of excitement and melancholy (What? Me? I know!), that I spent the whole day accusing passing hordes of children of growing up too fast. Luckily, I was not alone in this project. All my friends feel the same way. "Look at him!" we cry. "Look at her!" about each other's long, lanky, hirsute, broad, pimply, gorgeous, mustachioed, breathtaking, bosomy children, even though it's only been, like, two days since we were all together. I cannot take it. I can't. And we've been to three funerals in three months, and that's only the half of it, and every time the wind blows, the dogwood blossoms snowfall to the ground, even though I have waited all year for that tree to bloom. Even though that tree bloomed just a second ago, and a second before that, and it will bloom again in the wink of an eye, the children all another foot taller. What?

What does this have to do with Three-Ingredient Sauce for Steak? Oh, nothing, I guess. Except that steak feels like such a harbinger of summer. Even though I cooked it in a pan, because it was raining and it breaks my heart too much to watch Michael at the grill with an umbrella. 

These are marvelous, wonderful skirt steaks. Oh, they are so, so good. I heat the pan on nearly high heat for TEN MINUTES before salting the bottom heavily with coarse salt and then adding the steaks. TEN MINUTES. This pan. The love of my life.

Did I mention salt?
But the sauce? I can't describe why it's so good. In the Venn diagram, it would almost entirely overlap with the wasabi-kicked soy sauce you'd dip your sushi in. 
I picked the only easy recipe in the book.
The mustard--and you really do have to use that fancy Colman's in a yellow tin--makes it crazy, nose-clearingly hot. Not spicy. Hot in the sinus way. And then the soy is there, mellow and salty and rich. And then the rice vinegar comes in all bright and floral. It makes steak sing. And the song it's singing is, "I am so fucking delicious, you are going to die!"

We are 3. Yes. 3.
The sauce is also excellent on plain brown rice, on edamame, and on fish, which is what it was invented for. Where I first had it, in fact, was at a restaurant called Roy's that my parents took Michael and me to in Hawaii, oh, 6 or 7 thousand years ago. And what I had it on was, at the time, the single most transformative meal of my entire life: Blackened Ahi with Soy Mustard Sauce and Beurre Blanc. I can hardly write about it still. It made me feel like I'd never actually eaten anything before that tasted good, and like I might never again afterwards. I'm sure it sounds very 1993 now, but wow. I talked about that meal every hour, every day, for years, to the point where my thoughtful brother finally got me the Roy's cookbook, to try to assuage my longing. And guess what I've made from the cookbook? This single 3-ingredient sauce. Not the whole plate of food, with the fancy tuna. Not any of the other recipes, with the slivered papaya or the flying fish roe or whatever. Just this one thing. And it was completely worth it.


What about me? Nobody even mentioned salt!
Three-Ingredient Steak Sauce
aka Roy’s Soy-Mustard Sauce

Okay, there are four ingredients, but are you really going to count water?

1/4 cup mustard powder, preferably Colman’s
2 tablespoons hot water
2 tablespoons [unseasoned] rice wine vinegar
1/4 cup soy sauce

Mix the mustard powder and hot water together in a cup [or small bowl] to form a paste. Let sit for a few minutes “to allow the flavor and heat to develop.” [Wah? I do it anyway.] Add the vinegar and soy sauce, mix together, and “pass through a fine-mesh sieve into a bowl.” [I skip the sieve, but I do use a whisk.] Cover and “refrigerate for at least 1 hour to allow the flavors to develop.” [I tend forget this whole 1-hour part, but oh well.]

29 May 13:39

Food for Thought of the Day: NdGT Gives an Idea of Just How Ridiculously Wealthy Bill Gates is With This Analogy

29 May 13:38

HELP LEVAR BURTON BRING BACK READING RAINBOW!!!

HELP LEVAR BURTON BRING BACK READING RAINBOW!!!

LeVar Burton has started a Kickstarter campaign to bring back Reading Rainbow. And, everyone at here School of Fail pretty much wet their pants with joy. We grew up with that show, and Star Trek: The Next Generation, so our normally dead and uncaring eyes cried joyous tears of nostalgia and hope. And, here's why:

Submitted by: (via Kickstarter)

29 May 00:57

I Guess There IS Such a Thing as Being Too Clean...

Wait for it...

Submitted by: (via ChizhikCat)

Tagged: kittens , baths , moms , Wait For It , Cats , Video
28 May 20:39

Don’t let anybody raise you. You’ve been raised.

by Shaun Usher


In 1945, weeks after graduating from high school and with no support from the child's father, 17-year-old Maya Angelou gave birth to her only son. Two months later, desperate for independence, she moved out of her mother's home, found accommodation of her own, and began to raise her son. Over the next 70 years, Maya Angelou achieved more than most as a celebrated and award-winning author, poet, educator, dramatist, actress, filmmaker, and activist. The first of her seven autobiographies, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, is considered a classic.

Eight years ago, she wrote a letter of advice to her younger self. It was reprinted in the book, What I Know Now: Letters to My Younger Self.

(Source: What I Know Now: Letters to My Younger Self; Image: Maya Angelou in 1993, via Wikipedia.)

Dear Marguerite,

You’re itching to be on your own. You don’t want anybody telling you what time you have to be in at night or how to raise your baby. You’re going to leave your mother’s big comfortable house and she won’t stop you, because she knows you too well.

But listen to what she says:

When you walk out of my door, don’t let anybody raise you—you’ve been raised.

You know right from wrong.

In every relationship you make, you’ll have to show readiness to adjust and make adaptations.

Remember, you can always come home.


You will go home again when the world knocks you down—or when you fall down in full view of the world. But only for two or three weeks at a time. Your mother will pamper you and feed you your favorite meal of red beans and rice. You’ll make a practice of going home so she can liberate you again—one of the greatest gifts along with nurturing your courage, that she will give you.

Be courageous, but not foolhardy.

Walk proud as you are,
Maya


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