Shared posts

02 Dec 21:40

The Richardson Effect

by Greg Ross

How long is a coastline? If we measure with a long yardstick, we get one answer, but as we shorten the scale the total length goes up. For certain mathematical shapes, indeed, it goes up without limit.

English mathematician Lewis Fry Richardson discovered this perplexing result in the early 20th century while examining the relationship between the lengths of national boundaries and the likelihood of war. If the Spanish claim that the length of their border with Portugal is 987 km, and the Portuguese say it’s 1,214 km, who’s right? The ambiguity arises because a wiggly boundary occupies a fractional dimension — it’s something between a line and a surface.

“At one extreme, D = 1.00 for a frontier that looks straight on the map,” Richardson wrote. “For the other extreme, the west coast of Britain was selected because it looks like one of the most irregular in the world; it was found to give D = 1.25.”

This is a mathematical notion, but it’s also a practical problem. On the fjord-addled panhandle of Alaska, the boundary with British Columbia was originally defined as “formed by a line parallel to the winding of the coast.” Who gets to define that? On the map below, the United States claimed the blue border, Canada wanted the red one, and British Columbia claimed the green. The yellow border was arbitrated in 1903.

alaska panhandle dispute

02 Dec 21:37

Yo, Pope Francis just called out libertarian "trickle-down" economics for the inequality-generating bullshit that it is. I know being "best pope ever" is kind of like being "thinnest kid at fat camp," but still, credit when it's due I guess.

For a pope, this homeboy is regrettably the best.

02 Dec 21:33

holdentumblr: WORK: “Punctuation social personalities” Poster...

by joberholtzer


holdentumblr:

WORK: “Punctuation social personalities”
Poster by Carrie J Keplinger

02 Dec 17:20

Breakfast prices made easy….or more complicated? No,...

by beatingdrums


Breakfast prices made easy….or more complicated? No, definitely easy.

-beatingdrums

02 Dec 17:14

November 30, 2013


Wow. November is already over, huh.
02 Dec 17:14

Photo



02 Dec 17:14

I Heart MACCABEES

by Justin Pierce
Hpecker

none of these are great, but 3 aquaman references in 3 different comics? wth?

I refuse to join any religion that would have me as a member.

27 Nov 18:16

Rules For Dating My Daughter: A T-Shirt

by drew

top-ten-rules

These rules are asinine. I have rewritten the top 10 rules for dating my daughter below. They supersede the previous rules.

1. Daughters cannot be created, nor destroyed.

2. No outside food or drinks. They must be purchased from my daughter.

3. An illegal attempt to deceive my daughter will be considered a balk.

4. If my daughter lands on a triple word score, multiply her by three.

5. A daughter in motion will tend to stay in motion.

6. No one may place their hands on my daughter, except for the goalie.

7. My daughter is anonymous. She is legion. She never forgives.

8. You must raise your hand to talk to my daughter.

9. The pressure exerted by my daughter is inversely proportional to her volume, if her temperature remains constant.

10. If this is your first night, you must be my daughter.

27 Nov 15:04

“Grandpapa”

by Greg Ross

Grandpapa fell down a drain;
Couldn’t scramble out again.
Now he’s floating down the sewer
There’s one grandpapa the fewer.

– Harry Graham

27 Nov 15:03

Presidential Wordplay

by Greg Ross

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:President_Reagan_meets_with_the_Press_1981.jpg

In 1936, as Franklin Roosevelt campaigned for re-election against Republican Alf Landon, a group from Wall Street’s financial district sponsored a competition to find the best anagram for FRANKLIN DELANO ROOSEVELT. The winner was VOTE FOR LANDON ERE ALL SINK.

During the 1980 campaign, Jimmy Carter was accused of reversing his position on several issues to maintain his popularity. Edward Scher of New York University coined the palindrome TO LAST, CARTER RETRACTS A LOT.

Carter lost that election to Ronald Reagan, who inspired Howard Bergerson to compose a “press conference” in 1982 using only the letters in RONALD WILSON REAGAN. Here the Gipper describes his foreign policy:

We are sworn nonaggressors; we need law and order, we disallow war as lawless and senseless, and in a larger sense we also regard war as, now and again, needed. A needed war is no dead end or swan song, nor need we ride in war as no-good sinners on genderless geldings! We need androgens and derring-do! We need Old Glories, and seasoned soldiers garrisoned worldwide, generals in golden regalia, and raised dander! We need all-seeing, world-girdling radar, seagoing sonar and liaison ensigns, newer DEW lines and earlier NORAD warnings, larger arsenals and deadlier arrows in silos, R-and-D on lasers, and goodlier anger! We need no ring-a-ding dissensions and wild-goose rallies, nor do we need addled ding-a-ling diagnoses on wielding dread winged swords and daggers — or on wielding God’s own grenades! Ordained grenadiers alone assess, and ordained godlings alone will wield Gold’s sidereal grenades riding on Odin’s arrows. Godless Leningrad warlords and roodless, religionless Red warriors sold on Red-engendered Warsaw agreeings are as sidling sidewinders in loose sand! In nine innings (I disdain gridiron analogies) we will win — no one is dawdling! We are leaning on oars! We and God will engage all Red raiders, and, God willing, we will win odds-on! No one dragoons or goads God!

Reagan’s name can also be rearranged to spell INSANE ANGLO WARLORD.

27 Nov 15:02

When talking about the Redskins name, what the fuck is with these news people always saying "some see it as a racial slur"? It's not even debatable that it's a slur! Even if you're an asshole who doesn't think the name should change, it's still a fucking slur!

Hpecker

had this argument with friends on monday

Seriously, who the fuck do you think you’re fooling with your racist and cowardly false equivalency. GET YOUR SHIT RIGHT ASSHOLES

27 Nov 15:01

Haunting Attire

by Greg Ross

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ghost_Stories_January_1929.jpg

Why do ghosts wear clothes? If a ghost is the spirit of a living creature, how can it carry its inanimate garments into the afterlife?

“How do you account for the ghosts’ clothes — are they ghosts, too?” asked the Saturday Review in 1856. “What an idea, indeed! All the socks that never came home from the wash, all the boots and shoes which we left behind us worn out at watering-places, all the old hats which we gave to crossing-sweepers … What a notion of heaven — an illimitable old clothes-shop, peopled by bores, and not a little infested with knaves!”

In 1906 psychic researcher Andrew Lang argued that, far from confusing the notion of an afterlife, ghosts’ clothing might even help to corroborate its existence. “A pretty instance occurs, I think, in a biography of Warren Hastings. The anecdote, as I remember it, avers that at a meeting of the Council of the East India Company in Calcutta one of the members (I think several shared the experience) saw his own father, wearing a hat of a peculiar shape, hitherto strange to the observers. In due time came a ship from London bearing news of the father’s death, and a large and well-selected assortment of the new hat fashionable in England. It was the hat worn by the paternal appearance! If the circumstances are recorded in the minutes of the proceedings of the Council, which I have not consulted, then the hat of that spook becomes important as evidence.”

Even if we grant that a dead person can convey his most personal belongings into the afterlife, how are we to account for phantom ships, coaches, and railway trains? In his 1879 book The Spirit World, American spiritualist Eugene Crowell decided that, rather than being the spirits of “dead” earthly conveyances, these are constructed in the afterlife by the ghosts of mariners and railwaymen who want to ply their trades again. Spectral ships “glide over the waves without sinking,” Crowell explained, “and earthly winds propel them at rates of speed which our ships cannot attain.” If that’s true, then perhaps some ghostly tailor is simply manufacturing clothes for the naked spirits of the newly dead. Decent of him.

27 Nov 15:01

Unquote

by Greg Ross

“People who count their chickens before they are hatched act very wisely because chickens run about so absurdly that it’s impossible to count them accurately.” — Oscar Wilde

27 Nov 14:52

Photo



26 Nov 18:27

Is Rush Limbaugh Asshole of the Day (again)?

Hpecker

Rush: speaking truth to power

Is Rush Limbaugh asshole of the day for suggesting Planned Parenthood made Plan B ineffective over 176 lbs to get more abortions?

The news came out that the Plan B pill is ineffective in women over 176, and less effective between 166 and 176, so naturally Rush Limbaugh had to weigh in:

RUSH: Well, now we have learned that American women, 166 pounds and up, Plan B pill doesn’t work.  What will their option be?  A170-pound woman gets pregnant. She wants to go in and get her morning-after pill, and then she’s told, “Sorry, you’re too big. You’re too heavy. It won’t work.”  What are her options?  Well, she can either go on a diet, or she can get an abortion.  So what are the possibilities that Planned Parenthood injected some kind of a germ into these pills to make ‘em not work on women over 166 pounds? 

I like putting my own conspiracy theories out there just to toy with people.  But Planned Parenthood’s gonna be a clear beneficiary here of this little factoid about Plan B not working in women over 166 pounds.  Just a little thought. (interruption) Why can’t they just take two pills if they’re 166 pounds?  Oh, because the policy doesn’t cover that.  I don’t know. 

I still like my conspiracy theory: Planned Parenthood put this into the pills so they would not go out of business.  I mean, Plan B, the morning after pill, that’s not good for Planned Parenthood. That’s not good for people that make their money off abortion.  Why would anybody want Plan B to be taken by anybody, if you’re in the abortion business?

http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/daily/2013/11/25/big_fat_warning_plan_b_won_t_work_for_large_ladies

"In the abortion business"? There is no "abortion business", asshole. And abortion is only 3% of Planned Parenthood’s services.

Image source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Limbaugh_Award_cropped.jpg

26 Nov 18:27

On First Impressions

by jfineoriginal

On First Impressions


26 Nov 15:27

sketchplanations: Our atmosphere is as thick for the Earth a...

by joberholtzer
Hpecker

maybe this is even true, who knows?? it is the internet after all



sketchplanations:

Our atmosphere is as thick for the Earth a the skin on an apple.

Helpful reminder of how fragile the atmosphere is despite it looking pretty big when you’re standing outside.

26 Nov 14:50

nprfreshair: Gimme.

by joberholtzer


nprfreshair:

Gimme.

26 Nov 14:47

November 26, 2013

25 Nov 18:25

youmightfindyourself: The uncomfortable racial preferences...

by joberholtzer


youmightfindyourself:

The uncomfortable racial preferences revealed by online dating

The graphic shows what percentage of people responded to a “yes,” based on the gender and ethnicity of both parties (the data are only for opposite-sex pairs of people). Unsurprisingly, most “yes’s” go unanswered, but there are patterns: For example, Asian women responded to white men who “yessed” them 7.8% of the time, more often than they responded to any other race. On the other hand, white men responded to black women 8.5% of the time—less often than for white, Latino, or Asian women. In general, men responded to women about three times as often as women responded to men.

Unfortunately the data reveal winners and losers. All men except Asians preferred Asian women, while all except black women preferred white men. And both black men and black women got the lowest response rates for their respective genders.

Perhaps most surprising is that among men, all racial groups preferred another race over their own.

25 Nov 18:24

What I received after requesting a vector version of a...



What I received after requesting a vector version of a client’s logo

25 Nov 18:23

via tumble-pie:yeahwriters:jennlferlawrence:frostingpeetaswounds:...

by joberholtzer
25 Nov 18:20

A client faxed over a document, but she wasn’t satisfied with the quality.  So, naturally, she...

A client faxed over a document, but she wasn’t satisfied with the quality.  So, naturally, she changed the ink cartridge on her end and asked if the quality improved on our end.  

25 Nov 18:10

An American RETAIL

by Justin Pierce

A lady never tells where she keeps her Luger.

25 Nov 18:09

Photo



25 Nov 18:09

November 24, 2013

21 Nov 14:41

In a Word

by Greg Ross

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Barnacle_Geese_Fac_simile_of_an_Engraving_on_Wood_from_the_Cosmographie_Universelle_of_Munster_folio_Basle_1552.png

anatiferous
adj. producing ducks or geese

A deservedly rare word; it arises from the medieval belief that the barnacle goose (Branta leucopsis) grew underwater, emerging from barnacles that fell from trees. In his Topographia Hibernica of 1188, Welsh monk Giraldus Cambrensis wrote:

There are likewise here many birds called barnacles,(barnacle geese) which nature produces in a wonderful manner, out of her ordinary course. They resemble the marsh-geese, but are smaller. Being at first, gummy excrescenses from pine-beams floating on the waters, and then enclosed in shells to secure their free growth, they hang by their beaks, like seaweeds attached to the timber. Being in progress of time well covered with feathers, they either fall into the water or take their flight in the free air, their nourishment and growth being supplied, while they are bred in this very unaccountable and curious manner, from the juices of the wood in the sea-water. I have often seen with my own eyes more than a thousand minute embryos of birds of this species on the seashore, hanging from one piece of timber, covered with shells, and, already formed.

Apparently the belief arose because these geese were never seen to nest like other birds; it was not yet understood that birds migrate.

20 Nov 21:39

Is Ken Burns Asshole of the Day?

Hpecker

I mean, I think there are bigger contenders, but I loves me some Ken Burns hate

Is Ken Burns asshole of the day for having Obama read a version of the Gettysburg Address without “under God”, knowing how it would be reported?

President Obama’s recitation of Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address is sparking hysteria from the right-wing media who slammed the president for omitting the phrase “under God.” But ironically, in their hurry to attack the president, they omitted the fact that Obama was reading the first draft of the speech — a draft that did not include “under God” — at the request of filmmaker Ken Burns.

To commemorate the 150th anniversary of the Gettysburg Address, filmmaker Ken Burns compiled footage of important national figures — including Obama and all the living former presidents — reciting portions of the speech.

http://mediamatters.org/blog/2013/11/19/right-wing-noise-machine-fabricates-gettysburg/196969

Now Ken Burns doesn’t live under a rock. He knows how everything the president does is scrutinized. He has many other people reading versions of the Gettysburg Address, so why does he hand the one without “under God” to Obama?

Photo source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Kenburns.jpg

20 Nov 21:38

Is Trey Radel Asshole of the Day?

Is Rep. Trey Radel asshole of the day for voting to require food stamp recipients to get drug tests and then getting busted for cocaine?

In September, Rep. Trey Radel voted for Republican legislation that would allow states to make food stamp recipients pee in cups to prove they’re not on drugs. In October, police busted the Florida Republican on a charge of cocaine possession.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/19/trey-radel-drug-testing_n_4305348.html

Also we should point out that in Florida where drug testing welfare recipients was rolled out, it didn’t do much except for making the state buy a lot of clean pee. (Read more at Mother Jones: http://www.motherjones.com/mojo/2011/08/florida-welfare-drug-test-costs)

Photo source: http://www.treyradel.com/about/

20 Nov 21:38

11 Sexting Acronyms From the 1930s

by joberholtzer
Hpecker

is there context I'm missing here?