Hpecker

Here’s the thing, cops, you might feel embarrassed when you have to admit you hired a bunch of racists, but firing them will make the entire community (that’s the ALL LIVES your “supporters” are so fond of talking about) safer and better.

just-shower-thoughts:

There should be a game where it starts with old school graphics and as you level up it gets better and better

Only if they call it “game changer”

RP asked: Turns out there actually are a few good cops…or there were a few good ones before they all got fired for doing the right thing. (Not sure why the image doesn’t say it but that photo of Capt. Ray Lewis is of him getting arrested during a protest.)

Jesus fucking christ this is depressing.

BTW, you can tell you’re in the right when your side isn’t going to comb through the pasts of murder victims to prove they were “no angel.”

oh boy

i’m revisiting this comic that i did two years ago to include common arguments made by opponents of the comic. i have a hard time distilling these thoughts into structures that aren’t analogies, and analogies by their very nature are simplifications. if they do their job right, they at least make the reader consider how another side sees an issue. “okay. i can at least understand why it would be looked at that way, even if i don’t.”

my biggest problem isn’t even people who take issue with the analogy. it’s people who have argued against it via things like fire safety protocols. “actually, it’s a good idea to wet down a house if it’s near a fire. so what’s your point?”

the point is, all lives do matter. but lives in mortal peril need more immediate consideration than those that aren’t. that’s not to say there aren’t different levels of jeopardy in everyone’s lives, all of which need to be addressed. there’s always someone with a worse situation, and we get to decide which one to put our energy into. that’s how it’s always been. yes: all lives matter.

but i have the luxury of getting in my car today, getting pulled over for an expired sticker, and having a reasonable expectation that i’ll only receive a ticket instead of four bullets to the torso.

right now, a lot of people don’t have that luxury. “black lives matter” never meant “only black lives matter.” it means they matter as well. as much as. i am not black. i don’t feel devalued by that assertion in the slightest. why on earth would i?

good luck out there today, friends. and whatever your opinion is, be patient in the comments when voicing it. it’s worth the conversation, and i won’t put a lid on it if it’s done respectfully.

alwaysbewoke:

What, to the American slave, is your Fourth of July? I answer: a day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him, your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sounds of rejoicing are empty and heartless; your denunciation of tyrants, brass-fronted impudence; your shouts of liberty and equality, hollow mockery; your prayers and hymns, your sermons and thanksgivings, with all your religious parade and solemnity, are, to Him, mere bombast, fraud, deception, impiety, and hypocrisy; a thin veil to cover up crimes which would disgrace a nation of savages. There is not a nation on the earth guilty of practices more shocking and bloody than are the people of the United States at this very hour.“ - Frederick Douglass 

To show that Gothic script could be fatiguing to read, medieval scribes invented this joke sentence:

mimi numinum niuium minimi munium nimium uini muniminum imminui uiui minimum uolunt

The snow gods’ smallest mimes do not wish in any way in their lives for the great duty of the defenses of wine to be diminished.

In Ancient Writing and Its Influence (1969), Berthold Louis Ullman and Julian Brown write, “When this is written in Gothic characters without dots for the i‘s and with v written as u, it makes a first-class riddle”:

happy 4th! turns out once you get the purge on the books, there’s no way to take it off

First, you should stop hanging out with people that stupid? And second, tell him some of my best friends are white.

pokemonpika77:

Guys, this is season ONE of the Simpsons.

Articles of the pirate ship Revenge, captain John Phillips, 1723:

1. Every man shall obey a civil command. The captain shall have one share and a half of all prizes. The master, carpenter, boatswain and gunner shall have one share and [a] quarter.
2. If any man shall offer to run away or keep any secret from the company, he shall be marooned with one bottle of powder, one bottle of water, one small arm and shot.
3. If any man shall steal anything in the company or game to the value of a piece-of-eight, he shall be marooned or shot.
4. If at any time we should meet another marooner [pirate], that man that shall sign his articles without the consent of our company shall suffer such punishment as the captain and company shall think fit.
5. That man that shall strike another whilst these articles are in force shall receive Moses’s Law (that is, forty stripes lacking one) on the bare back.
6. That man that shall snap his arms or smoke tobacco in the hold without a cap on his pipe, or carry a candle lighted without a lantern, shall suffer the same punishment as in the former article.
7. That man that shall not keep his arms clean, fit for an engagement, or neglect his business, shall be cut off from his share and suffer such other punishment as the captain and the company shall think fit.
8. If any man shall lose a joint in time of an engagement, he shall have 400 pieces-of-eight. If a limb, 800.
9. If at any time we meet with a prudent woman, that man that offers to meddle with her without her consent, shall suffer present death.

That’s from Charles Johnson’s General History of the Pyrates, 1724. It’s one of only four surviving sets of articles from the golden age of piracy.

Phillips lasted less than eight months as a pirate captain but captured 34 ships in the West Indies.

The post So hot right now. appeared first on Indexed.

Shoutout to the Pew Research Center for publishing a study titled “On Views of Race and Inequality, Blacks and Whites Are Worlds Apart” and having this somehow be news. I expect a royalty check to the Yo, Is This Racist? Institute for NO FUCKING SHIT Studies.

PS. Also: PEW PEW PEW LOL

ETIQUETTE TIP: calling entitled white people “Mediocre Honkies” can be considered rude, try “Mediocre Honks” for a friendlier vibe!

Two envelopes contain unequal sums of money (for simplicity, assume the two amounts are positive integers). The probability distributions are unknown. You choose an envelope at random, open it, and see that it contains x dollars. Now you must predict whether the total in the other envelope is more or less than x.

Since we know nothing about the other envelope, it would seem we have a 50 percent chance of guessing correctly. But, El Camino College mathematician Leonard Wapner writes, “Unexpectedly, there is something you can do, short of opening the other envelope, to give yourself a better than even chance of getting it right.”

Choose a random positive integer, d, by any means at all. (If d = x then choose again until this isn’t the case.) Now if d > x, guess more, and if d x, guess less. You’ll guess correctly more than 50 percent of the time.

How is this possible? The random number is chosen independently of the envelopes. How can it point in the direction of the unknown y most of the time? “Think of it this way,” writes Wapner. “If d falls between x and y then your prediction (as indicated by d) is guaranteed to be correct. Assume this occurs with probability p. If d falls less than both x and y, then your prediction will be correct only in the event your chosen number x is the larger of the two. There is a 50 percent chance of this. Similarly, if d is greater than both numbers, your prediction will be correct only if your chosen number is the smaller of the two. This occurs with a 50 percent probability as well.”

So, on balance, your overall probability of being correct is

That’s greater than 0.5, so the odds are in favor of your making a correct prediction.

This example is based on a principle identified by Stanford statistician David Blackwell. “It’s unexpected and ironic that an unrelated random variable can be used to predict that which appears to be completely unpredictable.”

(Leonard M. Wapner, Unexpected Expectations: The Curiosities of a Mathematical Crystal Ball, 2012, following David Blackwell, “On the Translation Parameter Problem for Discrete Variables,” Annals of Mathematical Statistics 22:3 [1951], 393–399.)

Client: I think I’m done here, I think I have all the feels I need.

Client: *FILES!

Temporary rules adopted by London’s Richmond Golf Club during the Battle of Britain:

I had my doubts about this, but the rules are acknowledged by the club itself. While we’re at it: In A Wodehouse Handbook, N.T.P. Murphy notes two unusual tournament rules at the annual Bering Sea Ice Classic in Nome, Alaska:

• If a player hits a polar bear, he is penalized three strokes.
• If a player hits a polar bear and retrieves his ball, he is awarded five strokes.

Apparently those are local rules: In Extreme Golf, Duncan Lennard notes that officials of the World Ice Golf Championship actually wrote to the game’s governing body, the Royal and Ancient Golf Club of St Andrews, to ask what to do about polar bears, and received the ruling that “in the event of a polar bear wandering onto the ice golf course, the same safety procedure should be followed as for rattlesnakes and ants elsewhere in the world” — a free drop out of harm’s way.

High correlation between speaking English and being racist tho.

Raymond Smullyan offered this proof at a conference on self-reference:

A: Santa Claus exists, if I am not mistaken.
B: Well, of course Santa Claus exists if you are not mistaken!
A: So I was right.
B: Yes.
A: So I was not mistaken.
B: Yes.
A: Hence, Santa Claus exists.

Part of the reason why this webpage is in any way controversial is that racists somehow think that there’s still some semantic war over the word “racist” they can still win. Like, they are literally so used to having power that they think they can just say their obviously racist shit isn’t racist, and they can get away with it. And any time someone points out the obvious truth, that their shit is racist as fuck, they lose their minds. I don’t know, racists are stupid, racist politicians know this and pander to stupid people with lies, and everyone else, well, I guess it’s just a matter of stamina.

Hovertext: Until you teach someone calculus, they can't even walk finite distances. But they can get reallllllly close.

Submissions are closing soon! Get your proposal in while there's time! 

RACISTS: Rhetorically consistent with their bullshit arguments since 1861! (and long before, but, you know, slogans)

Seriously, if you’re personally against slavery but willing to kill to enforce it as an institution, that’s like saying you’re a Nazi, but only fiscally.

Proctologist W.C. Bornemeier explains why the sphincter ani must be preserved when performing hemorrhoid surgery:

They say man has succeeded where the animals fail because of the clever use of his hands, yet when compared to the hands, the sphincter ani is far superior. If you place into your cupped hands a mixture of fluid, solid and gas and then through an opening at the bottom, try to let only the gas escape, you will fail. Yet the sphincter ani can do it. The sphincter apparently can differentiate between solid, fluid and gas. It apparently can tell whether its owner is alone or with someone, whether standing up or sitting down, whether its owner has his pants on or off. No other muscle in the body is such a protector of the dignity of man, yet so ready to come to his relief. A muscle like this is worth protecting.

— W.C. Bornemeier, “Sphincter Protecting Hemorrhoidectomy,” American Journal of Proctology 11 (1960), 48-52

aaron wrote: Don’t worry, skynyrd is still a bunch of racists backpedaling for their racist fans.

oh phew, I was worried for a minute there. I love how racists think as long as their racist symbol isn’t racist TO THEM, it’s OK. How myopic of a view of the world do you have to have that you can’t see past your own shitty experiece that you can’t imagine what a Confederate Flag fucking means to, you know, actual, non-racist people, or worse, the people who that flag oppresses.

drewboigenius:

lavel-dynasty:

80sloveeegalaxy:

nefertiti–edgeskinky:

I could not possibly love this more

my heart just broke… this is beyond amazinggggg

😍😍😍😍😍

Ugh😩😩😩😩

Hovertext: Of course, when you're a cartoonist, all you get asked about is why you're not in the papers.