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Remember when Procter & Gamble cruelly taunted the Internet with the prospect of bacon-flavored mouthwash? It was all an April Fool’s Day joke, but seemed just plausible enough to be real. We wanted it to be real. Now the same company is offering another oral care product that seems too amazing and can’t possibly be real: chocolate toothpaste.

Toothpaste flavored like agents of tooth decay is nothing new: you probably used glittery blue bubblegum-flavored toothpaste as a kid. Some brands have vanilla and cinnamon flavors, but chocolate? Chocolate?

Chocolate mint, anyway. Like brushing your teeth with a Junior Mint. It’s part of a new line of Crest toothpaste called Be. On a recent earnings call, the company’s finance chief told the reporters and analysts who hang out on earnings calls about this exciting new product. He says that the new line was designed for “experiential consumers,” whoever that is. People who like to experience things? Isn’t that “everyone”?

Anyway, Crest Be will start with the chocolate mint thing, then introduce “Lime Spearment Zest” and “Vanilla Mint Spark.” Both bold new flavors, but they can’t quite let go of mint. Maybe in a few years, once those experiential consumers start experiencing different toothpaste flavors and finally demand the bacon toothpaste of their dreams.

As far as we can tell, this is the toothpaste version of Campbell’s hipster soup pouches. If it mixes up boring old toothpaste flavors, though, we’re all for it.

Crest Discovers Toothpaste’s Missing Ingredient: Chocolate [WSJ]

From Drinks

[Photo: Drew Lazor]

Is it a bartender's duty to make sure drinks possess mass appeal? Guy Smith, bar manager of Philadelphia's High Street on Market, doesn't think so. Combining the juice of an already-divisive brassica with smoky-mouthed mezcal and dry seasonings more often found on ribs than in rocks glasses, he's created a vegetable-based cocktail so green it could double as a Kermit the Frog-inspired paint swatch.

"I wanted to make a cocktail that was edgy, to challenge peoples' palates," says Smith, whose taut cocktail list runs the gamut of accessibility—bottled martinis and Manhattans share menu space with a drink built around applejack left to soak with buttered bread. His Trip to the Chinese Doctor ($12), however, takes the gold in the Out There Olympics.

Inspired by High Street owner Ellen Yin's observation that the finished product tasted like the herbal remedies her mom used to concoct, the drink starts with an ounce each of El Jimador tequila and Las Joyas Mina Real Silver, the latter a balanced, subtly floral mezcal that steers away from the smoke-bomb nature of its counterparts. Smith adds in simple syrup infused with whole black peppercorns, juiced broccoli rabe, and a pinch of smoked sea salt to lock in the savory side, while lime juice and a bar spoon of Green Chartreuse take care of tang and sweetness.

"To me, everything in this cocktail is a play off mezcal itself—smoky, spicy, vegetal," says Smith, who finishes the shaken-and-strained rocks drink with a lime twist and cracked black pepper. Smith chose rabe, a green common in Italian cooking, for its unabashed funk and bitterness. The juice does well standing in for bottled bitters, but it's not a lip-curling drink—if anything, it's a tertiary flavor within each sip, with citrus and smoke leading the conversation.

That doesn't mean the Trip is an across-the-board hit. Smith says the curious diners there to check out chef Eli Kulp's progressive kitchen work appreciate risks on the drink list, but he's met a few who are turned off by it—including Philadelphia Inquirer food critic Craig LaBan, who recently observed that it could "grow chest hair on a kale martini."

Smith doesn't mind. "Let's be honest. Someone who drinks a Cosmopolitan is probably not going to like this," he says.

About the author: Drew Lazor is a freelance food and drink writer based in Philadelphia. Check out more of his work at drewlazor.com and say hi on Twitter: @drewlazor.

Ever open up a new Volkswagen and wonder why there are feathers stuck in it? I haven't, but maybe other people have.

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On Monday Randal Olson, a Computer Science graduate research assistant at Michigan State University, created this map of the top autocomplete words for each country in Europe after one for America arose.

Olson, who is the moderator of the r/DataIsBeautiful subbreddit and a BI contributor, also sent along the below up showing a Google autocomplete for Asia created by reddit user system637 in Hong Kong.

Google's autocomplete suggestions come from previous searches by Google users or other places on the web. Suggestions may include relevant searches the user has done in the past (if you’re signed in and have Web History turned on).

Here are the autocomplete suggestions for: "Why is [country] ...?"

SEE ALSO: Here's What Google Autocompletes For Each Country In Europe

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I’ll see you on the other side of figuring out if it’s within our budgets and schedules to visit Yellowknife in the next few months! (Via reddit.)

This is The Morning Shift, our one-stop daily roundup of all the auto news that's actually important — all in one place at 9:30 AM. Or, you could spend all day waiting for other sites to parse it out to you one story at a time. Isn't your time more important?

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Traffic sucks, so why not start your morning off with some music? You provide the toast and we'll provide the jams.

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The open world zombie survival MMO Rust must be one of those games, where shooting someone will not just freak out the victim, but also the shooter himself, thanks to glitches like this above. Maybe Clayface-physics are Rust's answer to the zombies in DayZ that can walk through walls and floors.

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Nintendo is making headlines in the mobile gaming world again, as this week a new report from Japanese publication The Nikkei (translated and relayed via Dr. Serkan Toto) details Nintendo's upcoming smartphone and tablet initiative which the company is expected to announce at a briefing this Thursday. As Dr. Toto notes, "The Nikkei writes that Nintendo wants to use smartphones to expand its potential user base by spreading information about new game releases, i.e. by using video to introduce future titles. (This will probably happen through some kind of official Nintendo app.) In addition, Nintendo is said to be planning to put so-called “mini games” on smartphones, playable demos of console games – content that can only be purchased in full on Nintendo hardware."

The news isn't really surprising, as it falls right in line with what Nintendo of America President Reggie Fils-Aime revealed in an interview this past December. And, just over a week ago, Nintendo President Satoru Iwata revealed that Nintendo was considering a "new business structure" and would be looking for ways to market to potential new customers using smartphones and tablets. The one thing I think doesn't seem very likely is "playable demos of console games" as it just doesn't make sense that Nintendo would go to the trouble of implementing a touch control scheme for a demo of a 3DS or Wii U game. But mini-games featuring the characters or certain elements from those seems much more likely. We'll find out soon enough I guess, as Nintendo's briefing is scheduled for this Thursday.

[Macrumors]

A new deliciously awesome creation by my friend Chef Jb Cada and Stephanie Santos from The Regali Kitchen. I’m not exactly sure why all these ships would meet up to battle the Death Star, but since the Doctor is involved, I guess it could be possible! Om nom nom nom.

Edit: And here’s another cake from The Regali Kitchen, and since the theme is a little similar, I’ll include it to this post as well!

[Source: The Regali Kitchen]