Sarah Jamison

its true

IT’S UP TO YOU, REALLY. IT’S YOUR PARTY. YOU WANT A LITTLE SMOOTH JAZZ TINKLE OR DO YOU WANT ME TO JERRY LEE LEWIS THIS THING UNTIL SHIT STARTS FALLING OFF THE SHELVES?

_{[preorder the book]}

stillnotblinking:

i found out the computers in my high school 101 class had photoshop

Some girls:

Me:

SHAWN? SHAWN, IT’S ME, MARY. CAN YOU HEAR ME?

JESUS, YOU GUYS, HE SMELLS LIKE A DISTILLERY. I’M GLAD HE PASSED THE BAR EXAM, BUT DID YOU HAVE TO LET HIM DRINK LIKE THIS? YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST TAKEN OFF HIS SHOES. OH, AND HE’S STILL GOT GUM IN HIS MOUTH. THAT’S JUST GREAT. HE COULD CHOKE.

SHAWN? SHAWN, IT’S MARY. YOU FELL ASLEEP WITH GUM IN YOUR MOUTH. I’M JUST GOING TO GET IT OUT FOR YOU, OKAY?

_{[preorder the book]}

FUCK YOU NABISCO. JUST FUCK YOU!  Watermelon Oreos | Incredible Things)

nsfwhumor:

[@tbhjuststop]

flavorcountry:

This happened in a dream I had:

• I am working in the White House
• The American people have somehow managed to elect a tiger Vice President
• Like an actual, literal tiger
• The White House is now its hunting ground
• WE CAN’T SHOOT THE TIGER BECAUSE IT’S THE VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES…

(via tastefullyoffensive:video)

The costco here has a liquor store attached and it is a magical place

tastefullyoffensive:

Sorry, Florida. [via]

MAC Veluxe Pearlfusion Shadow Collection

It’s eye shadow innovation like you’ve never seen before. A versatile powder that brings out the pigment’s pure and true colour. The result is a glamorous, creamy and lightweight hybrid offering two distinctive effects: applied wet for a super saturation of colour that glistens with metallic brilliance, or dry for sheer coverage with a soft, sparkling finish. Six palettes feature five complementary shades that glide on and blend beautifully for infinite day-to-night looks: Pinkluxe, Bleuluxe, Pastelluxe, Greenluxe, Smokeluxe and Brownluxe.

Veluxe Pearlfusion Shadow ($40.00 U.S. / $47.50 CDN) (Limited Edition)

• Pastelluxe Bright champagne with pearl, peach pink with pearl, light pink, bright lavender and dusty grey
• Greenluxe Light peach, bright champagne with pearl, dark olive, blackened green with gold pearl and deep forest green with pearl.
• Brownluxe Egg shell, frosty orange gold, light yellow chocolate, deep bronze, blackened plum with pearl
• Smokeluxe Frosty pink white, deep bronze, carbon black, deep grey and platinum
• Pinkluxe Frost white pink, bright frosty pink, deep violet, blackened purple with purple pearl and blackened plum.
• Bleuluxe Metallic silver with pearl, light blue, blue with pearl, purple blue with pearl, black with blue pearl

Availability: North America June 20, 2013; International August 1, 2013 at all M·A·C locations, 1.800.588.0070 and www.maccosmetics.com.

See more photos!

MAC Veluxe Pearlfusion Shadow Collection

MAC Veluxe Pearlfusion Shadow Collection

MAC Veluxe Pearlfusion Shadow Collection

MAC Veluxe Pearlfusion Shadow Collection

MAC Veluxe Pearlfusion Shadow Collection

MAC Veluxe Pearlfusion Shadow Collection

MAC Veluxe Pearlfusion Shadow Collection

MAC Veluxe Pearlfusion Shadow Collection

thechurchofbobsaget:

same.

murica

sofapizza:

ruinscape:

my kind of music

well i was in the wrong marching band