Shared posts

02 Sep 00:40

McDonald's Will Serve Breakfast All Day, Thanks to Kitchen Upgrades

by Adam Clark Estes
Daniel Whitehill

OMG. FINALLY!

It’s been just over two years since Gizmodo wondered publicly why McDonald’s didn’t serve breakfast all day . And that was already years after hungry citizens everywhere wondered why they could eat Egg McMuffins for dinner. Now, McDonald’s has heard our call: All day breakfast will be available across America on October 6.

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01 Sep 18:55

One Chart That Shows How Much Money Ashley Madison Made Using Bots

by Annalee Newitz
Daniel Whitehill

Wow. This site is so corrupt.

Earlier today, I reported that Ashley Madison’s source code reveals a concerted effort to create an army of thousands of female bots called “engagers” to coax men into paying more for the site’s services. Now we have a chart from the company’s leaked emails that shows how much money they made from the bots.

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01 Sep 16:30

For Me?

Daniel Whitehill

ha. That is a good one with the peanut butter And the turkey AND the treat.

funny dogs image For Me?

Submitted by: (via Zek01)

Tagged: dogs , treats , funny , image
01 Sep 16:29

Woof, That Joke Could Use Some Work

funny dogs image Woof, That Joke Could Use Some Work

Submitted by: (via Hafiz_Kafir)

Tagged: dogs , funny , image
01 Sep 01:03

I'd Like To Butter Your Toast

dating-fails-id-like-to-butter-your-toast

Submitted by: (via Jonco)

Tagged: bar , pickup lines , bread
01 Sep 01:03

The Hair To Rule Them All

party-fails-the-hair-to-rule-them-all

Submitted by: (via brizzle227)

01 Sep 00:59

Add in Spanking and it Gets a Even Harder to Tell

Add in Spanking and it Gets a Even Harder to Tell

Submitted by: (via @jakeefischer)

Tagged: relationships , tweet
27 Aug 16:39

It's Always The Safest Entrance

Daniel Whitehill

ha. Awesome.

funny-parent-quotes-its-always-the-safest-entrance

Submitted by: (via poshanator)

27 Aug 16:14

Miley Cyrus on Tits

by Rich Juzwiak on Morning After, shared by Rich Juzwiak to Gawker
Daniel Whitehill

Wow. This is actually a great interview. Very entertaining.

For about six minutes last night, Miley Cyrus talked to Jimmy Kimmel about tits—having them, covering them, aging with them. It was a really good interview.

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26 Aug 18:27

Amazon Announces One-Hour Alcohol Delivery May God Have Mercy on Us All

by Hudson Hongo
Daniel Whitehill

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS. Oh wait. It's not in LA yet. Boo Hiss.

Amazon, the modern -day Moloch Machine that makes it perilously easy to buy a $75 Natalie Imbruglia single while blackout drunk, revealed a plan on Tuesday to remove the bleary-eyed middleman and bring the stupid juice directly to their customers’ doors. http://gawker.com/dont-forget-th...

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25 Aug 16:55

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS For August 24th!

by Michael K
Daniel Whitehill

Good ones.

caption082415

The Dow Jones may have taken a tumble today, but the Meow Jones is doin all right, son. – Nutty Poppins skabazzle

Upvote winner:

Meow money, meow problems. – FluffKitteh

Pic: Instagram (Thanks Rose)

25 Aug 16:11

K

dating-fails-k

Submitted by: (via Tumblr)

24 Aug 18:19

Every Kiss Begins With Kale

21 Aug 16:54

You Don't Need a TV to Watch Mean Girls When You are Them

Daniel Whitehill

hahahaha. Oh man.

You Don't Need a TV to Watch Mean Girls When You are Them

Submitted by: (via versaceslut)

Tagged: FAIL , theif , facepalm , grinder , TV , facebook
21 Aug 16:50

This Dog Can't Stop Bouncing to the Music

Daniel Whitehill

That dog is awesome.

Submitted by: (via Cryophobic Jenkins)

Tagged: dogs , cute , Video
20 Aug 21:24

New Hitman Movie One of the Worst-Reviewed Game Films Ever

Movies based on video games don't have the best track record when it comes to quality. Now, it looks like the last effort, Hitman: Agent 47, is not going to help turn things around. The film hits theaters tomorrow, August 21, but reviews for it started coming in this week--and they were generally unkind to the picture.

Based on 25 reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, Agent 47 currently sports a horrible 4 percent score on the site's "Tomatometer" scale. Meanwhile, the movie currently has a 27 percent score on GameSpot sister site Metacritic. Scores are expected to fluctuate slightly as more reviews come online, but it's not a good start.

By comparison, 2007's Hitman has a 14 percent score on Rotten Tomatoes and a 35 on Metacritic.

Agent 47 is on track to become one of the worst-reviewed video game movies of all time. Both Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic have nice roundups that list off the worst movies based on games, according to critics, and Agent 47 would be near the bottom.

Movies like the famous failure Super Mario Bros. and Mark Wahlberg's Max Payne scored significantly higher--16 percent each on Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic--than where Agent 47 sits right now. One of the best-reviewed video game movies to date was 2005's Doom, starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and Karl Urban. The movie boasts a 19 percent score on Rotten Tomatoes and a 34 on Metacritic.

Agent 47 isn't the worst-reviewed video game movie ever, however, as 2005's Alone in the Dark, based on the Atari horror game series, sits at a 1 percent score on Rotten Tomatoes and a 9 percent on Metacritic.

As for why critics aren't pleased with Agent 47, check out some review scores and editor opinions below.

The A.V. Club - D+

"Mostly it makes a clear, cogent case for why no one should ever make a Hitman movie ever again," - Jesse Hassenger [Full review]

New York Post - 1/4

"Impervious to everything, he glides through a series of interchangeably ridiculous mass-slaughter scenes in which, for instance, squadrons of assassins helpfully rappel down from the tops of skyscrapers to allow Agent 47 to shoot them. It's all as pointless as the asthma inhaler with which one character treats his advanced lung cancer." - Kyle Smith [Full review]

The Wrap - 3/10

"Don't expect this reboot of the Hitman franchise starring Zachary Quinto and Rupert Friend to break the curse of bad movies made out of hit video games." - Inkoo Kang [Full review]

The Guardian -- 3/5

"The story is baffling, the characters disappointing, and the twists anticlimactic, but this video game adaptation has violent energy." - Jordan Hoffman [Full review]

This is not the result that producer Adrian Askarieh would have wanted. He said in an interview last week that Agent 47 would be faithful adaptation of the franchise that fans would enjoy.

"Agent 47 doesn't do anything in this movie that he doesn't do or hasn't done in the video games," he explained at the time. "I think once they see it, they'll realize it's both--it is the character they love, and it is also a big, expansive action film."

Agent 47 stars Homeland's Rupert Friend as the murderous bald hero, alongside Star Trek's Zachary Quinto. Fast and Furious star Paul Walker was originally going to play the lead role, but Friend took over following Walker's death in 2013.

Commercials director Aleksander Bach made his feature film directiorial debut with Agent 47.

Despite the poor reviews, Fox appears to have plans for a sequel, as numerous reviewers noted that the movie features an end-credits sequence that strongly hints at a follow-up. In addition, Fox has already signed Friend for additional, unannounced installments in the series.

It's also worth noting that even poorly reviewed movies often make a lot of money. We'll report back with box office numbers in the coming days for Agent 47.

The next Hitman game, meanwhile, was announced at E3 and is due out later this year for Xbox One, PlayStation 4, and PC across digital channels.

20 Aug 17:04

New York Post Publishes Front-Page Rape Fantasy

by Tom Scocca

What does a grim news story of rape make you want think about? If you answered more rape!, you have a kindred spirit in New York Post editor and brutality fetishist Col Allan, whose paper’s front page today calls for the sexual violation of disgraced Subway pitchman Jared Fogle, who pleaded guilty to charges of child pornography possession and abuse of minors. “ENJOY A FOOT LONG IN JAIL,” the Post crows—a double entendre playing off the size of a large Subway sandwich, a product Fogle has endorsed, and the imagined length of a large penis, which the newspaper hopes will be used to penetrate Fogle’s body against his will while he is imprisoned.

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18 Aug 22:06

The Wet Hot American Summer Prequel Loves Jokes, Hates Plots, And Is Perfect

by Tom Ley on The Concourse, shared by Jason Schreier to Kotaku
Daniel Whitehill

Agreed. I thought the show was really well done and totally funny.

It’s kind of crazy that Netflix ever green-lit Wet Hot American Summer: First Day Of Camp, to begin with. The eight-episode mini-series acts as a prequel to the 2001 film Wet Hot American Summer: Last Day Of Camp which, after making squat at the box office, ended up becoming a minor cult classic thanks to a second life on DVD and Netflix. But even the movie’s most ardent fans probably never imagined anyone cared enough to justify rounding up the entire original cast for another trip to Camp Firewood. I am very glad that Netflix did, though, because we could really use more comedies like Wet Hot American Summer.

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18 Aug 00:02

Counting On The Force

Daniel Whitehill

ha hahaha. I LOVE this.

school-fails-counting-on-the-force

Submitted by: (via tpolisher)

17 Aug 17:55

Life Hack: Six Ways to Maximize the Size of Your Chipotle Burrito Without Paying Extra

Daniel Whitehill

I love this shit and use it regularly.

funny memes chipotle burrito life hack

Numbers nerd Dylan Grosz over at Apartment List did a series of rigorous tests (aka ate a lot of Chipotle) in order to determine the best way to get more burrito for no more money. Combine any or all of these tricks to get a burrito that is up to 86% larger without being charged extra. Results may vary based on how annoyed your local Chipotle employees are that you're trying to get away with this.

Submitted by: (via Apartment List)

17 Aug 17:55

And Clear My Cookies Too

Daniel Whitehill

so true....

17 Aug 17:52

Well Played, Neighbor

Daniel Whitehill

awesome.

17 Aug 17:13

It Is Tempting To Keep Him

Daniel Whitehill

Ha. Classy

funny dogs image It Is Tempting To Keep Him

Submitted by: (via Eat Liver)

Tagged: dogs , funny , image
14 Aug 18:29

Star Wars Han Solo, Boba Fett Spinoff Movies Get New Details

Daniel Whitehill

iiiiiiinteresting... Milk it Disney... MILK IT!

As the marketing machine gears up for December's release of Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, new details have emerged about two of the scheduled standalone Anthology movies.

2922061-solo2.jpg

In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy discussed plans for a film focusing upon the young Han Solo. Phil Lord and Chris Miller, the duo behind The Lego Movie and the 21 Jump Street films, have already been hired to direct the movie, which is now scheduled for a May 2018 release.

Kennedy addressed the issue of casting a younger actor as the "high teens, low 20s" Solo at the same time that Harrison Ford has returned to the role that made him famous in the continuing saga movies. Kennedy explained that the key to the film working would be to not spend a long time building up the character's backstory.

"I think the key here is that we are identifying an event or events in Han Solo's life that gives you some idea of who he is and why he is the character we have all known to love," she said. "We don't want to spend time going back and answering a lot of questions that, quite frankly, I don't think people want answered."

The choice of Lord and Miller as directors is key to understanding the approach that Lucasfilm are looking to take to the Solo movie, Kennedy stated. "You can imagine, given who we've chosen to come in and direct, it should be very entertaining and funny," she said. "Han Solo is the character inside Star Wars that everybody knows has a wit and sense of humor. So that's what this should be."

Screenwriter Lawrence Kasdan--who has co-written Episode 7, as well as The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi--will be penning the film, with his son Jon. Kasdan told EW that he chose the Solo project from a number of possibilities presented to him by Lucasfilm. "They said, 'Here are the things that we'd like to make movies about,' and I said, 'Oh, well, Han Solo. I would write a movie about Han Solo. He's always been my favorite.' And that's the job that I took."

Meanwhile, the Anthology film focusing on the villainous bounty hunter Boba Fett has been moved back to 2020, swapping places with the Solo movie. This follows the departure in June of Fantastic Four director Josh Trank, who left "to pursue some original creative opportunities." According to Kennedy, the project is still very alive.

"It's still one of the stories that we absolutely want to tell," she said. "There is a lot of innovative technology in and around what it is we're doing with that story, so for a lot of reasons, we were comfortable postponing that. But we're definitely still developing it. We're trying to get to a point where we're never rushing for anything."

Star Wars Episode 7: The Force Awakens will be released on December 18, 2015. The first of the Anthology movies, Rogue One, will follow in 2016, directed by Godzilla helmer Gareth Edwards.

14 Aug 16:11

Pranking Your Friends Requires Follow Through

14 Aug 16:11

I Do Not Think That There Could Be A Better Way To Write

Daniel Whitehill

good one.

14 Aug 16:11

Nesquik and Trill

Daniel Whitehill

ha. Random. I guess this "Netflix and Chill" thing is really a thing for this younger generation.

dating-fails-nesquik-and-trill

Submitted by: (via browncardigan)

Tagged: date night , milk , puns , chill , netflix
12 Aug 23:33

If Her Lips Are Moving, I'm Leaving

Daniel Whitehill

ha. Good one, emma,,,.

If Her Lips Are Moving, I'm Leaving

Submitted by: (via @goldenlights)

Tagged: Music , tweet , meghan trainor
12 Aug 23:32

Drunk Emailing Your Teacher

Daniel Whitehill

Dear lord, what a cool teacher.

school-fails-drunk-emailing-your-teacher

Submitted by: (via Heniboy)

Tagged: students , drunk , email , teacher
12 Aug 16:18

How to Stop (Some) Arguments

Daniel Whitehill

lol. Good one, Adam.

How to Stop (Some) Arguments

Submitted by: (via acidocasualidad)

Tagged: boobs , facebook , bewbs , dating