Crooooow

Wonkers! Put your deerstalker caps on and get ready to do some detective work, because we are about to jump down the weirdest rabbit hole I have ever discovered. This shit goes DEEP and I cannot do it alone.

Earlier this week a headline piqued my interest — Woman kills boyfriend after spat with reptilian cult. RELEVANT TO ALL OF MY INTERESTS, thought I!

Barbara Rogers fatally shot her boyfriend, Steven Mineo, in the forehead from point-blank range Saturday in their apartment in Coolbaugh Township, authorities said.

Rogers told officers Mineo, 32, was having “online issues” with a cult and asked her to kill him, said Lt. Steven Williams, of the Pocono Mountain Regional Police. She said her boyfriend believed the cult’s leader to be a “reptilian” pretending to be a human, according to an affidavit.

Rogers, 42, told police the group centers on “aliens and raptures.” Online postings associated with the cult detail a theory that a group of alien reptiles is subverting the human race through mind control.

But oh, did I ever not know what I was into, because as soon as the Daily Mail revealed the identity of the online reptilian cult, I went to check it out. And it is BONKERS.

Apparently, the cult doesn’t have a name. Its leader, if you will, is this lady Sherry Shriner, who has but one picture of herself on the internet, which I assume was taken at some point in the 1970s.

Sherry is claiming that she actually tried to warn Stephen that his girlfriend was a Vampire Witch Reptilian Super Soldier, but he wouldn’t listen, and that is why she murdered him.

She also made this video to explain how their last YouTube video proves this. It is amazing. Please, please watch it.

She also has approximately 85,000 different Geocities webpages, all of which are filled with WONDER and DELIGHT.

Here are some things I have figured out about Sherry and her beliefs so far!

— She believes she is or was an angel, and is also god’s daughter and Lucifer’s sister. As such, she wrote a book in which she interviewed her brother, the devil, and it is available for purchase on Amazon.

— She sells something called ORGONE BLASTERS. They’re basically just very pretty looking crystals that she claims do all the things.

My Orgone has destroyed the Capricorn Star-Ship, the Shema star-ship, Planet X – Comet Elenin, and thousands of UFOs!

It Works Folks! It’s the Only thing that works against Alien-Demonic-Zombie-Vampire- beings! The “dead” hate it! The Aliens hate it! Politicians who have been soul-scalped by Reptilians hate it! Obama hates the White House, Michelle sleeps in Hotels around D.C…the White House Senior Staff meets in air-sealed rooms under the Capitol…why?? Because they HATE the Orgoned air in D.C. !!

Orgone will cleanse your air/water/food, dissolve chemtrails above your home, keep evil beings out of your home and yard, stop night terrors, it has 101 uses.

Unrelated, there is also a very interesting Wikipedia page on this orgone stuff (Jack Kerouac and William Burroughs were into it, apparently).

— Reptillian Aliens are basically soul scalping EVERYONE these days, specifically Meg Ryan, Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift. And, obviously, the Obamas, because they’re not racist?

And so much more. Also, I discovered that she is currently feuding with another, equally ridiculous, online cult called Amightywind. Yes, like the Christopher Guest movie. Which she claims is run by a witch.

So all the witches online seem to be rallying their covens and fake Christian ministries to protect fellow witch Barbara Rogers and come against me and paint the lie Steve wanted to die. Almightywind Witch Cult is run by a woman who was a witch in the Great White Brotherhood of Indiana, broke off from them to begin her own “ministry’ online. She’s been making hate videos about me for years. Steve was well aware of them.

The witch she is talking about is Elizabeth Elijah Nikomia and her husband Ezra, who say they are not witches, but prophets.

Amightywind/Almightywind are a Jews For Jesus Pentacostal Zombie Apocalypse cult. But like, instead of killing zombies with orgone, they kill zombies with boards.

I tell you this now so when you see these things come to pass you will not fear his army of ZOMBIES that will be slain by the POWER OF THE CROSS of YAHUSHUA ha MASHIACH! Remember hit them with a board or wood that represents the CROSS. The dead in YAHUSHUA (Christ) which shall walk and witness to MY Glory will walk as in times of old and testify of Heaven, not to take the MARK of the BEAST! They shall prove there is life after death. MY saints you will hear and see in Glorified Bodies that CAN NOT BE KILLED!

Also, they have more singing.

There are like, 85,000 videos from each of these groups, and then also videos of them decrying each other, and then other cults decrying them, and it is some kind of all out crazy YouTube battle that is so much better than any of the Mommy Blog Wars of the early 2010s. It is amazing. Also, BOTH cults have lions on their Geocities webpages? What does it all mean? And how have I never heard about any of this?

I am trying to figure out if there is any crossover here with the flat earth people. There must be, right? The laws of crank magnetism demand it.

OH. While looking for pictures of Sherry other than that first one, I also found the blog of this one dude who claims to have been created in a cloning center. I have not yet been able to discern if he is involved in this feud?

I can tell you that it definitely appears as though the Amightywind group does not like it when people criticize them, and has a tendency to make retaliatory YouTube videos against ex-members who have made YouTube videos warning people about them. It is all very, very involved. And the amazing thing is that it appears to all mostly be online. You don’t even need to leave your house to be a cult leader anymore, I guess.

Obviously, this is just the tip of the iceberg here. There is so much. So if you feel like delving into this rabbit hole with me, together we can discover their secrets!

Should you like to thank me for bringing this weirdness into your life, click click click below so Rebecca can keep me here on weekends!

calamity-cain:

tater–th0ts:

masterofbirds:

sandandglass:

Professor Stephen Hawking believes Zayn might still be in One Direction - in a different universe

The important thing about this is that Stephen Hawking well understands the fact that you can enjoy and/or be upset about frivolous things while simultaneously enjoying and/or being upset about important things.

He also turned this into a massive encouragement for girls to become female scientists as they age.

I fucking love Stephen hawking he gave this a serious answer instead of trivializing teenage girls like most men (esp. highly intelligent nerdy men) do

god bless you sir

l0vegl0wsinthedark:

dracogotgame:

ufo-the-truth-is-out-there:

NASA: we used to have 9 planets but we now only have 8
Pluto: Stop telling everyone I’m not a planet!
NASA: Sometimes we can still hear its voice

Look, I’m not saying that demoting a planet named after the Roman god of Death stoked his rage and brought down on us his vengeful fury and retribution but…

*gestures at everything*

Finally, an explanation.

They say that music can channel the raw emotions of the oppressed, can serve as the voice of voiceless, the fence of the defenseless. They also say some people think Fox News is real. And so please, put your hands together and drop your jaw in amazement at “Fake News (The Enemy Of The People)” by the artist known as “Mint Chip.” It’s only a couple of minutes long, but seems so much longer!

It’s got the best words:

They be screamin’ “Russia!”
You’ve heard it
Even though it’s a nothingburger
Yeah Fake News created by the Fake News

They so desperate!
Cause they lost the election
CNN is the Clinton News Network
and they just can’t accept it!

Time to face the facts,
Trump won, you bitch,
Get your head outta your ass
and quit tryin’ ta blame the Putin.

We are tired of excuses,
Hillary is just a big-ass loser,
President Trump had to go against Hollywood and the Media
For them to blame Russia is supremely DUMB

The spread so many lies
But it didn’t matter
They tried to moralize
But it didn’t matter

And so on. God is on their side, and God helps Mint Chip bust mad rhymes like these couplets:

We are overwhelmed by the Fake News
Luckily we have Trump’s Twitter to see the truth
Every Tweet he posts
Liberals’ heads explode!

You don’t learn that kind of poetry in no university, dawg. Also, look at him symbolically burning a copy of the failing New York Times while rapping “CNN is ISIS, and so is NBC / They all are the Enemy.” He had to buy the paper to burn it, so they’re probably all kinds of upset.

The video got a warm mention from Pizzagate idiot Jack Posobiec and also from the influential Total Frat Forum, so you know it’s good. Also, it has jump cuts and ends with Mintyboy “rolling coal” in the great big truck, which the video’s description mentions he borrowed from a friend.

Not everyone was a fan, though:

Also, somebody noticed a disturbing resemblance between Mitt Chimp and Dale Gribble:

So, there’s your forgettable whiteboy rap for the day, keep making America surreal again!

It is now your OPEN THREAD.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Keep clicking the “Donate” linky and we’ll keep from singing, ever.

[Mint Chip on Twitter via Joe Prince on Twitter]

it’s small but it made a little positive difference for a lot of people. thank you microsoft or whatever.

Rachel Maddow did a BIG SCOOP on Thursday night, and we think it’s a pretty big fuckin’ deal. To cut to the chase, somebody (she doesn’t know who YET) used her “Send It To Rachel” tool to send her something that looks like a highly classified document about collusion between Donald Trump and Russia, but is actually a FORGERY. WHOA IF TRUE, right? Maddow said Thursday that if this thing was real, it would be “not only a smoking gun, but … a gun still firing proverbial bullets.” But it’s not, again, because it’s a BIG FAKE ASS DUMB FORGERY.

What this means is that somebody out there (somebody close to or in the Trump administration maybe?) is sending out fake documents, to try and fool the media into reporting actual fake news about the Trump-Russia collusion story. Or, as Maddow put it, somebody is sending “carefully forged documents to try to discredit news agencies reporting on the Russian attack on our election, and specifically on the possibility that the Trump campaign coordinated with the Russians in mounting that attack.” Damn.

How convenient that would be for the Trump regime, to get the media to report fake stuff, and then be able to expose that fake stuff as fake stuff! What a splendid way to punch the media in the face and make people stop trusting its reporting, don’t you think?

What’s fascinating about this weird forgery is that it appears to have been copied off the highly classified document NSA contractor Reality Winner sent to Glenn Greenwald’s The Intercept. Remember how The Intercept published a bombshell on Monday, June 5, that Russians had specifically targeted voting machine manufacturers and election officials during their 2016 cyberwar against American democracy, and that they got further than anybody ever knew? Greenwald and his coworkers immediately got on Twitter that day to shit all over their own story, because Greenwald And Associates are 100% JOURNALISM CERTAIN the Russia story is all lies. We sure did make fun of Glenn Greenwald that day, for being a shithead loser who used to be an actual journalist before he fell in with fuckheads like Julian Assange and Edward Snowden.

Also, remember how the FBI was able — when The Intercept verified the document by sloppily Snapchatting it to the NSA and thus burned its source — to immediately figure out where it came from and who printed it out, because of markings left behind by the printer, and because of how the page had obviously been folded? Maddow found the EXACT SAME MARKINGS and the EXACT SAME CREASE on the document she got. Forgery detected! (Later in the segment she explained that there were several other screwy things about the document, including that it actually named a high-up American citizen/Trump campaign person. According to the intelligence experts Maddow consulted, this type of document, if real, wouldn’t name an American all willy-nilly like that.)

Also strange is that Anonymous McWhoever sent “The Rachel Maddow Show” this fake document the very same week as The Intercept published its bombshell. Here is a screenshot of the timeline:

So on Saturday, June 3, Reality Winner goes to jail, because the Intercept, in vetting the document she sent, managed to expose her as the leak. According to the metadata on the file received by Rachel Maddow, it was created at 12:17 PM on June 5. Later that afternoon, The Intercept published its story. So …

Who sent it?

To be clear, the forged document was created before the Intercept published the real document it was based on. So unless Donald Trump’s 400-pound hacker on the Jersey Shore (no not Chris Christie THAT’S NOT FUNNY and we doubt he’s that good at computers) was working overtime that day, nobody would have been in possession of the original used to create the forgery besides Glenn Greenwald and the reporters who published the story in the The Intercept, the NSA, and the FBI. (Reality Winner could probably not send Maddow the document from #jail.)

Did the document fall into the wrong hands at the NSA or the FBI, after The Intercept sent them the document to vet it? Did Greenwald or somebody else at The Intercept make this forged document for Rachel Maddow in Paint? Did they leak it to somebody who did? Was this the penance Greenwald had to pay his comrades Julian Assange, Edward Snowden and Vladimir Putin, for being a bad boy and letting his website publish something about real Russian 2016 election hacking? We are just asking! Because considering the timeline, there are very few suspects here.

Is this a longshot? Maybe, but we really wouldn’t put anything past Glenn Greenwald, because he is quite unpleasant!

The implications of this are alarming. They didn’t fool Rachel Maddow (because Jesus fuck, what paste-eating moron actually thinks they are smarter than she is?), but we understand why they tried. She’s been on this Russia story since the beginning, and she’s hellbent on finding the truth. We bet, considering how treasonous the Trump-Russia crimes probably are, that knocking Rachel Maddow off the scent and busting her credibility would be at the top of any of these motherfuckers’ bucket lists.

Maddow ended her segment by noting that in the past few weeks, both CNN and Vice have had to retract Trump stories for being poorly sourced. The CNN story was specifically about the Trump-Russia scandal. Maddow recalled how Dan Rather’s evening news career ended because of a poorly sourced story about George W. Bush’s (lack of) National Guard service. The larger story was true! But because Rather was taken in by some shitty fake documents, the story was relegated to the #FakeNews pile, where it died an untimely death.

Wouldn’t Donald Trump, who screams “FAKE NEWS!” 24 fucking hours a day about REAL NEWS, just love to be able to do that to journalistic pursuits into his possibly criminal gay love affair with Russia? Wouldn’t Putin love it?

Watch out, journalists. These fuckers are playing a dirty game.

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