allie

Taco Bell’s Cap’n Crunch Delights!

Because somebody’s gotta keep the diabetes medication companies in business, Taco Bell is testing the perfect breakfast of champions for the stoner on the go! They have barfed up pink donut holes covered with Cap’n Crunch Berries cereal and filled with some kind of gooey milk icing (aka condensed milk, basically). Taco Bell let FoodBeast try them out, but FoodBeast didn’t really say anything about the taste. But you know, even if FoodBeast said they tasted like sweetened dried dog shit, I’d probably still put one in my mouth because SUGAR.

For now, Taco Bell is only selling these oozing diabetes balls in Bakersfield, CA. Having been to Bakersfield many, many times, I can say that this is the most exciting thing to ever happen to Bakersfield since Tara the Hero cat threw out the first pitch at some baseball game.

Those things look like the sweetened cum-filled rainbow nutsacks of a Lisa Frank unicorn. If rainbows could grow cysts filled with sugary pus, that’s what that mess would look like. It’s like a Care Bear’s goiter. And based on those descriptions, yes, yes I would. It has milk, wheat AND fruit. It’s a well-balanced breakfast in one bite!

Pic: FoodBeast

Letter, dated February 19, 1929:

Dear Madam:

You have received several letters about the small balance on your account but you haven't paid it.

Why spoil your credit reputation for $.90
Nothing is more valuable than a good credit record. There are times when everyone needs credit so you should be very careful to protect your good name.

Send us a money order at once so we can close your account, pass clear title to the merchandise to you and report you to the Credit Association as "good pay."

Yours very truly

SPEAR & COMPANY
R.L. Jones
Collection Department

Found in "Parish's Fancy" by Walter Kellog. Published by John Day, 1929.



-Click to enlarge photos-

How to be attractive
Bennett
1951, 2d ed., rev. and enl.

Submitter: The original edition was from 1948. Our copy does not have the cover shown – the library assistant who discovered this brilliant work (and read it cover to cover) found the cover on the web. We were struck by the fact that, for the most part, being attractive in this volume means being attractive to men (although there is that token glance at being attractive to women–but not that way, of course). The three-page discourse on what do to if a man becomes “fresh” (do some serious soul-searching and blame yourself) is particularly revealing. We were also charmed by the photograph of the woman moisturizing her hands (this photo was part of a two-page spread on the subject)–the child looks like he’s plotting serial murder. We are an academic library, and are happy to be weeding this little volume from our collection.

Holly: These self-care books for women in the 50’s just kill me. The woman on the cover looks like a manikin or a Stepford Wife or something. And submitter is right about the first picture below. All I can think is “It puts the lotion on its skin.”

More Beauty Tips for the Ladies:

Robot Beauty

How to be Pretty in 1974

Save Your Face!

Be a Sexy Woman with Debbie!

Ask a Man

Update: Jezebel has now added a update and apology to their piece, noting that a university spokesperson has clarified that the university requested that Walker delete the requirements because they were redundant with their compliance of the Clery Act.

With a swipe of the “delete” key, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker (R) has eliminated efforts to combat campus rape from the state budget.

His budget proposal deletes key provisions that obligate universities to incorporate information on sexual and dating violence into new-student orientation programming — provisions that are federally mandated under the Clery Act.

And, as Natasha Vargas-Cooper at Jezebel reports:

Under Walker’s budget, universities would no longer have to report the number of sexual assaults that take place on a campus to the Department of Justice. Under Walker’s plan, university employees who witness a sexual assault would no longer have to report it.

There are no policy recommendations in Walker’s budget how or what would replace these reporting mechanisms. The Governor simply instructs that they should be deleted.

The budget also eliminates recruitment and support programs for low-income students and students of color, as well as shared governance, the principle that gives faculty and students a voice in campus politics and policy-making.

You can check out the whole sad thing here.

HAVERHILL, Mass. — Greg Feldman, bassist for local hardcore outfit Forever Rises, has decided to quit the band following a 78-hour uninterrupted group text between the four members.

What had started as a simple iMessage discussion of an upcoming EP release show ended up in thousands of texts – the conversation veering wildly into discussions of local pit beefs, “Metal Flag” and who was the hottest member of Destiny’s Child.

“It was brutal. I couldn’t focus at work because my phone was blowing up every few seconds with someone saying they found a cheap van on Craigslist or that Afroman should front Screeching Weasel,” Feldman said, adding, “I mean, yeah, a cheap van would be nice and Afroman is certainly qualified, but I have shit to do instead of read texts all day – you know?”

When asked about the group chat, other members of Forever Rises described it as a mixture of personal observations, wrestling GIFs and Tom Delonge links.

“I personally thought it was great,” Michael Henderson, the band’s frontman, said. “It was making us closer as a band just sharing laughs and inside jokes – man, this shit is hilarious. Greg just didn’t get it.”

“I was getting bummed out every time I felt my phone vibrate,” Feldman said. “All day, all night. Unending. Someone would be saying that we should start color-coordinating for our ‘band image’ and then it’d just be three hours of sending each other the poop emoji.”

“Greg was always a turd boy,” guitarist Lawrence McKenzie said through an emoji-ridden text. “I’m breaking out the most prime Barstool Sports links and Gronk GIFs – which I call ‘Grifs’ – and he’s not even responding. Seriously, GRIFS, how good is that?!”

“Greg was always a turd boy.”

-Lawrence McKenzie

“It’s not just that it came in while I was in the meeting with my boss and the regional manager,” Feldman remarked, adding that his decision to leave the band initially went unnoticed for another 347 texts. “It’s that it hadn’t stopped for three fucking days.”

The post Bassist Quits Band Over Unending Group Text appeared first on The Hard Times.

You know, like this little guy. Maybe he’s thinking….”Altoids.”

Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: Happy Valentine's Day 2015, Hoomin Interaction

In London's vast subway system, stretches of tunnels have been abandoned. Gensler has a plan to put them to use: "We could repurpose the larger spaces at the platform level and actually put in a whole series of things down there, whether it be routes for pedestrians and cyclists, click-and-collect retail, or places for buskers."

READ MORE »

The US Department of Interior’s social media team is EN FUEGO. Yesterday, we got this from their Twitter account- today, Maureen (“They have so many wonderful pictures!”) P. grabbed this from their Instagram. “A Monk Seal watches a Bebeh Turtle crawl on the beach at Papahānaumokuākea Marine National Monument.”

@Interior #FTW!

Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: BFFs, Blorp, Seals, Turtles

Cuteporter L.P. just sent us this link about a place in (imagine this!) Japan called “Zao Fox Village.” We’ve seen Bun Island, of course. And Cat Island. So why not a Fox Village? (Here’s a more complete article from Japan Travel.) First, we get welcomed by…a giant gorilla. Go with it, it’s the Big J. They don’t need a reason.

So Zao Fox Village is located in an area called Myagi Prefecture. OOPS, wait, let’s buy some Cute Stuff in the Official Gift Shoppe! Two foxes, please.

They’re tame but semi-wild. For 100Y (.85) you can buy ‘em some Fox Munchies.

Additional content seen on Bored Panda.

Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: Here Now The Foxes, The Big J

workbleach:

Shakira, 1991

by Haley Mlotek

I approve of this image.

2 Comments

So, “FourFiveSeconds” is officially how “Pour It Up” orchestral twerker-turned indie guitar folk-pop singer-songwriter Rihanna is kicking off the R8 campaign, which is…well, okay then!

And now, there’s a video for the song too, because it’s really, really the lead single from the album. Alrighty!

The black and white clip’s got Rih, Macca and Yeezus. They’re all wearing denim and looking very serious, because that’s what you do when you’ve got some Serious Important Art at hand. The aspect ratio is annoyingly square — because it is Art, like a canvas upon which Yeezy and Rih have painted their dreams.

The entire thing feels like it’s trying particularly hard to be a moment of Very Serious Art, which is a shame, considering Rihanna is the opposite of a try-hard, which is why that Rihanna reign has otherwise never let up. But, hey — at least she looks real pretty!

Oh right, and they’re all performing it together at the Grammys too. So, break out the geetars at home and sing along! Or, you know, just mute the TV and put on Rated R.

“FourFiveSeconds” was released on January 24. (iTunes)

Valentino Spring 2015 Couture Collection.
The collection was inspired by quotes from Shakespeare, Dante’s Inferno, and paintings of Marc Chagall.

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: IMAXTree]

Photo, no date or writing.

Found in "Misery" by Stephen King. Published by Viking, 1987.

-Click to enlarge photos-

But then again, that glum cunt Kanye West always looks like he just watched that Nationwide commercial.

Because the world’s biggest attention whores couldn’t miss out one of the country’s biggest events of the year, former NFL pass-around-patty Kim Kartrashian and Kanye West took their asses to the Super Bowl this weekend. Kanye performed at DirecTV’s Super Bowl pre-party on Saturday night and went to the game yesterday. Kanye at the Super Bowl is just as happy as Kanye at a house full of waffles. Kanye only smiles for Louis Farrakhan, so it wasn’t not funny to him when two bro types posed with him as though he was a goat at a petting zoo. Yeezy was not amused, but then again, who would be?

HIS FACE! I love Kanye’s grumpy face. He looks like he’s taking a messy diarrhea in a public bathroom and just noticed that there’s no toilet paper in that stall. He looks like a sad kid whose parents forgot to pick him up from school and it just started to rain. He looks like a hungover you sitting in your cubicle on a Monday staring at a picture of Kanye looking like he has the Mondays. Kanye looks like he’s pissed and throwing an internal hissy fit because his cool camouflage shirt didn’t work and people can see him.

But seriously, Kanye is probably mad because Girls and Looking weren’t on last night and he really wanted to have a late-night phone kiki with Riccardo Tisco about that shit.

And I guess last night’s theme was forcing selfies upon the famous:

Kanye’s “fat kid on a diet” face of misery wins, but RiRi’s “I’m stoned as hell and you’re fucking with my high” side-eye comes close.

Pics: Instagram, Instagram, Twitter

BALTIMORE – Suffrage, a new all-male hardcore band, is a group of radical-minded men intent on proving that guys can rock, too.

Suffrage plays fast, loud and aggressive for a bunch of dudes. The unapologetic group doesn’t care how many times they get stopped at the door of the venue and asked if they are dating one of the girls in the bands; they are dead set on shaking things up in a scene that has historically been a girls’ club.

“If I get all hot and sweaty on stage you better believe I’m going to take off my shirt, and if you don’t like that, well, I’m not sorry,” frontman “Big” Tim Ramsey said, proudly sporting lengthy arm pit hair for the whole world to see. “I don’t wear sleeveless shirts for you; I wear sleeveless shirts for me, so if you can’t handle a full-bodied man in a position of power, then don’t come to the shows.”

Brian Worrick is a huge supporter of the band and has followed Suffrage from the beginning. “Discovering this band was the push I needed to finally build up the courage to start making zines that focused on men in hardcore,” Worrick said. “Beef Boys, which has its third issue coming out as soon as I make the first and second issues, gives a spotlight and voice to underrepresented straight white males in the scene like me.”

Only time will tell if this grand experiment will pay off, but fans of Suffrage are already taking to Twitter to voice their opinions.

During a recent performance with six other all-male hardcore acts, Ramsey had a bold message for the crowd. “You might not like the thought of men playing in hardcore bands, and it might be tough for you to wrap your head around, but we are here to stay.”

Article by The Hard Times Staff. Picture by Chase Perkins. Shower us with your praise and adoration on Facebook, Twitter (@REALPunkNews), and Instagram (@TheHardTimesNews).

The Aquarium may have been closed to visitors during recent storms, but the marine mammal trainers still reported to work. There were hungry mouths to feed and fun to be had! Check out Chiidax's reaction to all the white stuff. Patty and Kim stayed nearby so they could report for breakfast and, of course, a little fun with the seals and sea lions. Patty and Kim  Who needs to shovel when

Marshawn Lynch is a man of few words. In the week leading up to the Super Bowl, the star running back for the Seattle Seahawks is making more news for his hostility toward the NFL press corps than for what he's put on the record. His refusal to play ball with sports media (and a few epic crotch-grabs) has earned him $120,000 in fines and a stern warning from the league's headquarters. But it's also made him one of the most enigmatic players in the NFL.

Lynch has made his share of missteps: he's been arrested for driving with a concealed gun and for driving under the influence. Because he skips press events, refuses to answer the media's questions or he responds to them with some variation of "I'm here so I won't get fined, boss," Lynch has been wide open to some of the most outrageously racist criticism the sports world has seen in recent years. Take this column by CBS New York's Jason Keidel wrote last winter. He paints Lynch as both an uppity prima donna and an "ornery" ghetto brute who is only out to collect a check. He even uses Newark, where the press conference is taking place, to define the running back. A sample:

[He] did little on Media Day to change the perception of him. His testy, truncated responses -- all ending with a caustic "Boss!" -- was the story out of the Prudential Center, which, ironically, is in downtown Newark, as violent a city as any in America.

...If anyone can relate to a city that has surrendered to the violence and galling poverty of the ghetto, it's Lynch.

Lynch comes from an appalling part of Oakland, flanked by drugs, gangs and guns, the template commerce of the ghetto. A major network recently ran a special on Lynch, and lifted the curtain on the reticent star's life. ... He's been arrested several times since entering the public domain, and he's vowed to rebuild his image as someone who left the 'hood, but the 'hood never quite left him.

Perhaps his biggest mistake is being unapologetically black and rebellious in a league business that depends on military-like obedience. That's the subtext that runs through a lot of the criticism aimed at Lynch. Even ESPN's Stephen A. Smith insinuated as much when he said that Lynch's actions "sadden and disappoint me." "Marshawn Lynch seems to me to be a very authentic brother," Smith said. "He is a brother that could have some things to say that could have a profound impact on a lot of young minds out there because he is serious about his business, he is hardcore, and he is real." The point? Lynch is a role model for many young black football fans, and he should leverage that reality to do more.

But if you look past the non-interviews, it's not too hard to find reasons to admire Lynch, both on and off the field. On it, he's a dominant running back, arguably one of the most powerful runners the league has ever seen. Off it, he's a goofball who's fiercely protective of his hometown -- Oakland-- and still deeply involved in it. Here are a few facts about the man behind the myth.

He loves "The Town." Lynch was born and raised in predominantly black North Oakland and he was a legend at Oakland Tech High School, which he graduated from in 2004. Tech is where he earned his nickname, "Beast Mode." ("You find out what's in you and it just comes out," he said by way of describing how to go into "beast mode.") The city is also enmeshed in his style of play: "Growing up, being from where I'm from, a lot of people don't see the light," Lynch said of his spectacular run against the New Orleans Saints during the 2012 NFL playoffs in an ESPN E:60 segment. "I didn't see the light on that play. I guess you could say it's symbolic of where I'm from." 

 

He's still an Oakland school kid. Lynch is notoriously media shy, but that didn't stop him from making a cameo in a video for the Oakland Unified School District ahead of the 2013-2014 school year to promote school attendance. Check him out dancing with kids to a remix of Rihanna's "Please Don't Stop the Music."

 

He gives back to his commnity. "I'll be damned if somebody from Oakland say that Marshawn don't come back and be in his community," Lynch told ESPN. Through his Fam 1st Family Foundation, Lynch has helped raise funds to build a youth development center in Oakland that also hosts an annual four-day event for young people in The Town that includes a bowling night. "Oakland, it done taught me a lot," Lynch told reporters. "I mean, Oakland has really just taught me about life, and I feel that I'm proud of my city and I feel like [without it] I wouldn't have been the man who I am today. I'd had ups and downs and I've been able to overcome 'em, just because I feel like being from Oakland I had to overcome so much. The reason I feel I've been able to bounce back from that is because of the strong backbone that I have, and that I represent Oakland."

He's embraced his sweet tooth. Lynch is an avid Skittles fan, and one of few players to receive an endorsement from a candy company. Skittles have become a staple of touchdown celebrations at Seattle's CenturyLink Field. Lynch even staged a mock Skittles press conference to poke fun at the media's frustration with him.

 

If the Devil “made” you do it, you blew it!
Peterson
1989

If you remember, I resurrected an old title from 2009 and re-did the post. It’s your lucky day, I have yet another book from the same author.

I have included this lead off scenario about a kid robbing a McDonald’s and hanging around a bad crowd. This is what happens when you quit listening to your parents, quit going to church, and start doing drugs. I hope all of you are taking notes.

 

Mary

 

More Christian Advice:

Righteous Guide to being a Christian Teen

How to be a good church lady

Teenage Living

I am head over heels in love with this home and had to share. Discovered on Mad & Bolig, it is the residence of British interior designer Gabrielle Blackman. Paint-chipped floor boards and shades of grey on the walls are the perfect backdrop for industrial, mid-century and antique finds. A subtle edginess.

Some news calls for a box of tissues and a stash of chocolate to help you deal. Oh, wait. 

Thanks to a new settlement between Hershey's and Let's Buy British Imports (L.B.B.), Cadbury's chocolates made overseas will no longer be imported to American shores. The deal also applies to beloved British sweets like Maltesers, Yorkie chocolate bars, Toffee Crisps, and British-made KitKats. Woe.

While the ban strikes out against British chocolate that specifically violates certain existing trademarks — Yorkie's name, for instance, is too similar to the York peppermint patty — Cadbury's chocolate won't disappear entirely. The catch is that it will be made by Hershey's, using altered recipes. 

“It is important for Hershey to protect its trademark rights and to prevent consumers from being confused or misled when they see a product name or product package that is confusingly similar to a Hershey name or trade dress,” Hershey's representative Jeff Beckman told the New York Times.

British expats and shop owners aren't just being picky when they complain that the original British recipes taste better. Indeed, a British Cadbury's Dairy Milk bar has a higher fat content thanks to its main ingredient of milk, which lends it a creamy taste. The American version's main ingredient is sugar, with the addition of  PGPR and soy lecithin to extend the candy's shelf life. 

Yes, it's all very upsetting. British shop owners have threatened to involve the Queen. May we can follow suit and get President Obama on the case? 

Like what you see?How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

L.A.'s Best New Restos — & What To Wear To Each

Make Your Own Almond Milk — Here's How!

3 Pasta Recipes To Get You Through The Worst Of Winter

If at the end of the Miss Universe pageant, all of the losers took off their heels and beat Donald Trump with them, that would be the best part of the entire competition. That doesn’t happen, so the best part of the pageant is the National Costume contest, which went down in Miami last night.

Dozens of beauty queens from around the world risked breaking their necks, cracking their shoulder bones and pulling their back muscles while carrying forty tons of glitter-covered fuckery on their bodies. The National Costume contest is the competition that separates the queens who don’t give a shit and bought their costume at a Party City on Biscayne from the queens who go all out and let their patriotic fuckery flag fly high. Case in point: Miss Canada who gave us Canada’s answer to the legendary low-budget Transformers costume from Miss USA in 2013.

Allison should be proud of her home country today, because they broke the budget by throwing as much props as possible on top of Miss Canada. If Marie Antoinette moved to Canada, fell in love with a hockey-obsessed traveller and married him, this is what she would wear on her wedding day and that wedding would be featured on an episode of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding. She looks like the queen in The Sports Network’s version of Game of Thrones called Game of Hockey Sticks. The only way this costume could’ve been more hockey crazy is if she shot pucks out of her crotch at the judges. Yes, Miss Canada’s spine is probably broken now, but I’m sure she’ll look stunning in her bedazzled body cast when they wheel her onto the stage at the Miss Universe pageant to accept a bouquet of roses for winning Best National Costume.

I put over 30 costumes after the cut. I put them after the cut instead of in a gallery, because you can burn some calories by scrolling. And if you scroll really fast, you’ll know what it feels like to ride through the It’s A Small World ride on a speed boat while high on acid. Hunger Games Tribute realness ahead!

Miss Dominican Republic – Every Catholic abuelita wants to miniaturize Miss DR, put her on top of her TV and pray to her during commercial breaks while watching her stories.

Miss Egypt

Miss Netherlands

Miss Portugal 

Miss South Africa

Miss Spain 

Miss Sri Lanka – She looks like the living room floor after we’ve all opened presents on Christmas Day.

Miss St. Lucia 

Miss Belgium

Miss Australia

Miss China 

Miss Colombia – I’m pretty sure Phoebe Price has worn this entire outfit to The Grove.

Miss Czech Republic – She looks like a dining room after a flock of birds crashed through the windows and hit the round table hard before dying.

Miss El Salvador! 

Miss Brazil

Miss France

Miss Great Britain who is one of my favorites, because she looks like a Buckingham Palace stripper.

Miss Georgia 

Miss Germany

Miss Ghana

Miss Guatemala 

Miss Trinidad and Tobago

Miss India 

Miss Italy who is ALWAYS ren faire ready.

Miss Ireland

Miss Indonesia 

Miss Israel – I’m guessing that they didn’t even try or someone sabotaged her costume and she had no choice but to wear a dress she bought at Marshalls.

Miss Jamaica 

Miss Japan 

Miss Lebanon who also didn’t even try it and said fuck it by wearing a caftan she stole from a 60-something Palm Beach gay socialite.

Miss Mexico

Miss Thailand 

Miss Puerto Rico

Miss Russia 

Miss USA who looks like an exploding tub of Cool Whip and really should’ve just worn that Transformers costume.

Miss Singapore 

And finally, Miss Venezuela! 

Lacking stars, a big-name director, or a controversial, hot-take-y premise, Robert Eggers’s The Witch was not a buzzed-about title coming into Sundance. But thanks partly to an overflowing press screening Friday morning (and a hastily assembled, similarly packed second one later that night), this film – a horror movie set in 1600s New England – has become one of the festival’s early breakout titles. The hype is not unwarranted. The Witch is a very tense, frightening movie that places you firmly in the world of early Puritan settlers – a place of terrors both imagined and real, where freedom is a concept more paralyzing than repression and abasement.

“What went we off in this wilderness to find, leaving our kindred behind, our country, our fathers’ houses? …Was it not to the pure and faithful imagination of the glories of God?” These are the first words spoken in The Witch, and the dialogue remains at this level; a title at the end notes that much of it was taken from contemporaneous records. This establishes a certain period authenticity, but it does more than that: It puts us in the minds of these people. Slowly, their superstitions and fears become our own.

The film follows an extremely devout family as they’re banished from their plantation and settle at the edge of a dark, untouched forest. Upon their arrival, they pray for their good fortune, even as the dense, pitch-black woods beckon more with terror than wonder. That forest remains eerily present throughout the film, always lurking in the background – a blank canvas upon which this family’s innermost fears can play out. Young Caleb (Harvey Scrimshaw, fantastic) is starting to have lustful feelings for his sister Thomison (Anya Taylor-Joy, beyond fantastic), while the two twins Mercy and Jonas (Ellie Grainger and Lucas Dawson) claim to commune with the family’s black he-goat, Black Philip. Secretly, Thomison confesses her sins to God, saying she knows that she deserves only misery and damnation and that she’s broken all his laws, but asking for mercy regardless. No such luck: The very next scene, we see her taking her baby brother, Samuel, out to the edge of the woods and losing him by accident.

As the miseries and mysteries pile up, the family becomes consumed by pious anger and recrimination. Meanwhile, the film dances between suggested horror and grisly, possibly fantastical visions. (Are those gruesome cut-aways to a naked, withered figure doing horrible things out in the woods meant to be imaginary?) Eggers has borrowed a page – maybe even a little more – from Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining, and he uses tense, atonal, howling music and sustained, slow zooms to keep us on the edge about what exactly we’re witnessing. In doing so, he mires us in a kind of wonderfully agonizing uncertainty. These people live in a world where even the simplest thing is filled with mystery and terror. As we watch The Witch, and maybe even for a while afterwards, we’re in that world with them.

Read more posts by Bilge Ebiri

Filed Under: sundance 2015 ,the witch ,movie review