Darendukes

No, this isn't a Bloomberg joke.

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This may be the pinnacle of human invention. Sports Illustrated had the fantastic idea to shoot supermodel Kate Upton into the sky and then film her while she floated around in a bikini. Now we all know what Kate Upton looks like at Zero-G in a swimsuit. The answer, unsurprisingly, is great.

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In a move that makes those overdue library book fines seem insignificant, a Pickens, S.C., woman was arrested for the failure to return a Jennifer Lopez movie she rented in 2005. Kayla Michelle Finley, 27, was charged with the misdemeanor of petty larceny in relation to a missing video tape of the movie Monster-In-Law, according to Fox Carolina and WYFF4 in Greenville, S.C. She was arrested on Thursday and spent the night in jail, says WYFF4.

According to warrants, Finley rented the movie in 2005 from the now-defunct Dalton Video. She was sent letters to return the video several times but never responded, according to a warrant, say Fox.

Read more: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/02/15/woman-jailed-late-video-return/5512821/

Scientists at JPL say that new analysis of pictures taken on Mars contains the "strongest indication" that there is water flowing on the red planet, right now.

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This tiny goldfish is a long way from being able to work the gas and brake pedals, but with a little technological help, it can steer a robotic car simply by swimming around its tank.

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Werewolf cats are so hot right now.

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Nothing could be more familiar than the original Star Wars poster, featuring Darth's head looming over our light saber-wielding heroes. But that poster has gone through a lot of mutations in its lifetime, as the movie journeyed across the globe. Here are some of the weirdest and most obscure Star Wars posters in existence.

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A brand-new trailer for the documentary about Chilean director Alejandro Jodorowsky's failed attempt to make a Dune movie has dropped, and the look it provides at what could have been is fantastic, bewildering, and a little soul-crushing, mostly because we never got to see Salvador Dali as the Emperor of Space.

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One section of Hieronymus Bosch's massive triptych The Garden of Earthly Delights depicts a hellish chorus singing a song painted on the buttocks of a sinner. Now a musician has transcribed it into modern notation for our asinine listening pleasure.

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In what is turning into an alarming game of Danish musical giraffe cages, another Danish zoo has announced that it may shoot and kill a second healthy giraffe to make way for a genetically superior specimen.

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Remember Johnny Quinn, the U.S. bobsledder who smashed through his locked bathroom in Sochi? Well, a SWAT team invited him to their training, and the Olympian accepted.

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The first large-scale, multi-million dollar brewery in Bastrop is expected to begin production within the next year.  Dave Quinn with the Economic Development Corporation says the Good Soul Brewing company will initially focus on a limited number of markets. The brewery will sell both keg and package products to customers that range from bars and restaurants to grocery and other retail outlets.

Photo taken in North London, of a sign for a cannabis energy drink. I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that this is not fully sanctioned branding by Warner Bros.

And Finally… The Not-Legitimately Licensed Batman Cannabis Energy Drink

Texas will pay Mack Brown $2.75 million that would have been owed him if he had been fired, and will place him in a $500,000, one-year job as a special assistant to the president for athletics. Texas spokesman Nick Voinis says today the school was honoring the terms of Brown's contract that ran through 2020. Brown, who resigned on December 14th, had been reportedly trying to negotiate for more money.(AP)

This is one way to get (very weird and painful) revenge: A woman who found out her boyfriend had cheated on her removed a tattoo of his name from her arm with a scalpel and mailed the bloody chunk of flesh to his home, which he shares with his new girlfriend.

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That's the premise of Rob Williams and Simon Coleby's new Vertigo comic Royals: Masters of War. In this alt-history, royal blood bestows superpowers, but these kings and queens have an agreement to never join their respective wars — that is, until World War II forces England's Prince Harry to take action. All that and more, in this week's comics!

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Disney hasn't yet released the final season of its urban fantasy series Gargoyles on DVD, but it has made nearly every episode of the cartoon available online. There goes the rest of our week.

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Malls that were once active but have since been abandoned ("dead malls") are fascinating relics of greed, consumerism, and our increasingly antiquated analog way of life that required actual motion through space to get the material possessions we don't need, per se, but covet. They're also creepy and kind of sad, if you think about the unrealized dreams of the people to tried to sell you that shit you didn't need. Dead malls are sweeping the nation in that agonizingly slow manner that dead things sweep.

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