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10 Mar 14:44

CDC Launches Ad Campaign Featuring Racist Mascot In Effort To Get More Conservatives Vaccinated

ATLANTA—Targeting the series of PSAs towards communities that were skeptical of inoculation, the Centers For Disease Control launched a new ad campaign Tuesday featuring a racially offensive animated mascot in an effort to get more conservatives vaccinated. “We’re hopeful that associating the vaccine with this…

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10 Mar 14:42

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Favorite

by tech@thehiveworks.com


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
Also he NEVER asked stupid questions.


Today's News:
09 Mar 12:39

‘Taco Bell For Life’ Winner Chooses To Receive Winnings As Single Lump Meal

Philip.paulsson

Haha! I would do that. Mmmm taco bell.

TAOS, NM—Arguing that incremental payments would favor the fast-food chain in the long run, ‘Taco Bell For Life” winner Jacob Lalu chose to receive his winnings Friday as a single lump meal. “The experts will tell you to get your Baja Blasts in installments, but I could really use those bad boys right now,” said Lalu,…

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09 Mar 12:38

Vaccine Guidance

I can't wait until I'm fully vaccinated and can safely send chat messages in all caps again.
24 Feb 15:12

Woman Reverts Back To Inner Primate To Snatch Up Fallen Razor With Toes

23 Feb 19:56

Check this out!

Today, while using my phone camera as a mirror, I managed to broadcast a Facebook Live video of myself applying haemorrhoid cream to my asshole. FML By What an ass
18 Feb 13:25

'Outer Wilds' is coming to Nintendo Switch this summer

by Mariella Moon
Philip.paulsson

This was a delightful little game.

Outer Wilds, one of our favorite games for 2019, is heading to Nintendo Switch. In the gaming giant's latest Direct event, it showed an announcement trailer for the action-adventure game set in space that was previously released for the PC, Xbox...
12 Feb 20:16

Jesus Christ: Mario And Yoshi Used A Warp Block At The Same Time And Emerged Onto The Mario Party Board As A Horrifying, Fused Monstrosity

Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. Gamers, this is bad. This is really bad. We don’t know how this happened exactly, but we were just playing a game of Super Mario Party a few minutes ago when Mario and Yoshi used a warp box at the same time and...dear God—emerged onto the board as a horrifying, fused monstrosity.

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12 Feb 12:29

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Oath

by tech@thehiveworks.com


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
What? You're saying YOUR books aren't 3 feet by 2 feet? Guess you're reading stupid stuff.


Today's News:
11 Feb 11:48

Andrew Yang Leading NYC Mayoral Race After Flipping Off Residents And Telling Them To Suck His Dick

NEW YORK—According to a new poll released Wednesday, Andrew Yang was reportedly leading the New York City mayoral race after flipping off residents and telling them to suck his dick. “I believe that every New Yorker, regardless of who you are or where you live, has the right to suck on these fat nuts,” said Yang, who…

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04 Feb 13:22

Will Ferrell picks a fight with Norway in GM's new Super Bowl commercial

by Andrew Tarantola
Philip.paulsson

This is hilarious

Will Ferrell has had it up to here with those smug Norwegians and their EV buying habits. So he’s going to do something about it and is taking Kenan Thompson and Awkwafina along for the ride in GM’s new 90-second “Big Game” ad.Perturbed by the fact t...
04 Feb 13:20

Man Scores Vintage Coin-Operated Texas Instruments Graphing Cabinet

SEATTLE—Unable to believe his luck at uncovering the classic item, local man Alton Yates was reportedly overjoyed Wednesday after scoring a vintage coin-operated Texas Instruments graphing cabinet. “I can’t believe I found one in such good condition,” said Yates, confirming that apart from an easily replaced cosine…

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03 Feb 02:59

Telegram makes it easier to import your WhatsApp chat history

by Jon Fingas
Telegram is still dealing with a influx of WhatsApp users upset over a new privacy policy, and it’s making sure those converts will feel more at home. WABetaInfo has noticed that the latest version of Telegram for iOS (Android users had to wait as of...
29 Jan 14:36

New Biden executive order makes science, evidence central to policy

by John Timmer
Philip.paulsson

It's so sad that they have to make an order for this... like, this is just how things should be?

Image of a man seated at a desk, with a man and woman standing behind him.

Enlarge / U.S. President Joe Biden signs an executive order in the State Dining Room of the White House in Washington, D.C., on Wednesday, Jan. 27, 2021. (credit: Bloomberg / Getty Images)

Yesterday, US President Joe Biden signed three executive orders. The order with the widest scope was focused on climate policy, and it received the most attention. But the other two, while more narrowly focused, may also have a profound impact because they seek to reorient the entire federal government's approach to science itself. That includes both protecting scientists from political interference and ensuring that government decisions are based on the evidence produced by science as often as possible.

PCAST is back

One of the two executive orders officially starts off the Biden administration's President's Council of Advisors on Science and Technology, or PCAST. The organization is typically set up by an executive order and runs for two years before being renewed by a second. It dates back to the George H.W. Bush administration and has a broad remit to identify the current consensus in relevant fields of science and technology as well as to advise the entire executive branch regarding them.

The importance of PCAST isn't just limited to science agencies; for example, an Obama-era council issued a report on forensic science that was relevant to everything from research-funding bodies to federal law enforcement agents.

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26 Jan 12:43

Deactivation of Flash may have crippled Chinese railroad for a day [Updated]

by Timothy B. Lee
Passengers pulling luggage ring a squat concrete terminal.

Enlarge / Dalian Railway Station. (credit: akiradhin / Wikipedia)

In 2017, Adobe announced it would deactivate Flash at the end of 2020. Earlier this month, on January 12, Adobe carried through on its plans, deactivating Flash installations around the world. One result, according to Apple Daily, was chaos in a Chinese railroad in Liaoning province.

Officials at China Railway Shenyang use Flash-based software to plan each day's railroad operations. As a result of the outage, Apple Daily says, "staffers were reportedly unable to view train operation diagrams, formulate train sequencing schedules, and arrange shunting plans."

As a result, the railroad was unable to dispatch its trains, "leading to a complete shutdown of its railroads in Dalian, Liaoning province," according to Apple Daily.

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26 Jan 12:39

Trash Compactor Party

What an incredible smell you've discovered.
13 Jan 12:57

Child Weirded Out After Bumping Into Teacher Outside Laptop

ARTESIA, NM—Still shaken after a surprise encounter with the 37-year-old educator, local first-grader Micah Dunn was reportedly weirded out Tuesday after bumping into his teacher outside of his laptop. “Mrs. Evans was walking around without moving out of frame—it was super weird,” said Dunn, who recalled feeling…

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13 Jan 12:56

Trump Doubles Down And Offers Bill Belichick 3 Presidential Medals Of Freedom

12 Jan 13:38

Moflin is the AI emotional support pet we all need right now

by James Trew
Philip.paulsson

Gah! It's a poof! (anyone else recently watch Save Yourselves! ?)

It wouldn’t be CES without something cute that melts even the coldest of hearts. This year, that honor goes to Moflin, an AI pet robot that looks like someone spilled water on a Mogwai boom mic. Moflin, like many of its adorable CES counterparts, com...
08 Jan 16:53

Insurrectionists’ social media presence gives feds an easy way to ID them

by Kate Cox
Philip.paulsson

They better arrest and prosecute every single one of these fuckers.

Men with flags and bizarre costumes pose for a photo in a neoclassical corridor.

Enlarge / The seditionists who broke into the US Capitol on Wednesday were not particularly subtle and did not put any particular effort into avoiding being identified. (credit: Saul Loeb | AFP | Getty Images)

Law enforcement agencies trying to track down insurrectionists who participated in yesterday's events at the US Capitol have a wide array of tools at their disposal thanks to the ubiquity of cameras and social media.

Both local police and the FBI are seeking information about individuals who were "actively instigating violence" in Washington, DC, on January 6. While media organizations took thousands of photos police can use, they also have more advanced technologies at their disposal to identify participants, following what several other agencies have done in recent months.

Several police departments, such as Miami, Philadelphia, and New York City, turned to facial recognition platforms—including the highly controversial Clearview AI—during the widespread summer 2020 demonstrations against police brutality and in support of Black communities. In Philadelphia, for example, police used software to compare protest footage against Instagram photos to identify and arrest a protestor. In November, The Washington Post reported that investigators from 14 local and federal agencies in the DC area have used a powerful facial recognition system more than 12,000 times since 2019.

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07 Jan 11:49

WhatsApp gives users an ultimatum: Share data with Facebook or stop using the app

by Dan Goodin
Philip.paulsson

Ugh, I really need to find a new app... Signal maybe?

In this photo illustration a Whatsapp logo seen displayed on

Enlarge (credit: Getty Images)

WhatsApp, the Facebook-owned messenger that claims to have privacy coded into its DNA, is giving its 2 billion plus users an ultimatum: agree to share their personal data with the social network or delete their accounts.

The requirement is being delivered through an in-app alert directing users to agree to sweeping changes in the WhatsApp terms of service. Those who don’t accept the revamped privacy policy by February 8 will no longer be able to use the app.

Share and share alike

Shortly after Facebook acquired WhatsApp for $19 billion in 2014, its developers built state-of-the-art end-to-end encryption into the messaging app. The move was seen as a victory for privacy advocates because it used the Signal Protocol, an open source encryption scheme whose source code has been reviewed and audited by scores of independent security experts.

Read 10 remaining paragraphs | Comments

05 Jan 18:12

technically this is a song about REPLACING a broken water inlet valve, not repairing it, leaving me and my kitchen high and, sadly, quite far from dry

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December 11th, 2020: Hey, I've got a mailing list for SECRET PALS! If you'd like to be a SECRET PAL, baby, now is your chance. I only send out a message like once a month!

– Ryan

18 Dec 12:24

Disaster: Next-Gen Loading Screens Are Going Too Fast For Gamers To Read Tips And Tricks And Now Everyone Is Forgetting How To Play Video Games

When we first got our hands on the next generation of consoles, one of the most thrilling prospects was the near-instant load times. Gone would be the persistent frustration of dying in a boss fight or while entering a new zone and having to wait three minutes to jump back into the fray. Little did we know, this power…

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11 Dec 12:24

New 'Among Us' map The Airship is coming early next year

by Igor Bonifacic
Philip.paulsson

This game is great w/ friends. With randos not so much.

As promised, during The Game Awards developer InnerSloth shared a look at the new map that’s coming to Among Us. You’ll be able to play the Airship when it comes out for free sometime early next year. The map comes with new tasks for you and your cre...
10 Dec 12:22

The Moon

by Reza
08 Dec 12:40

[Spicy] | Awkward

Philip.paulsson

I mean, yay FML seems to be back, but also... I don't think this is the type of content I need at this point/this year.

Today, I was ghosted by my next door neighbor, who I've been seeing/hooking up with for months. FML By Anonymous
12 Nov 12:38

Set in the Present

Philip.paulsson

Haha so true! Tho I'm torn... we saw some crime drama on TV yesterday where people were wearing masks, and I was thinking "I want my TV to be an escape, not a reminder about COVID!" But then I see another show and people are hugging and I'm like "where's the masks?!" So clearly I have no idea what I want.

She referenced Billie Eilish, so this must be getting pretty close to the pandemic. But we've seen the last two years in-universe, so if it's set in the future, they must be in at least 2023 by now. [*adds thumbtacks and string to wall*]
04 Nov 11:51

Poll: 94% Of Nation Would Rather Live In Authoritarian Dictatorship Than Wait 10 More Minutes For Results

WASHINGTON—With almost all respondents claiming there is no agony greater than anticipation, a new Gallup poll released Tuesday found that 94% of the nation would rather live in an authoritarian dictatorship than wait 10 more minutes for election results. “I would much prefer to be subjected to the cruel whims of an…

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26 Oct 11:33

Researchers 3D-printed a cell-sized tugboat

by Steve Dent
Philip.paulsson

Awwww so cute!

Physicists at Leiden University in the Netherlands have 3D printed what could be the world’s smallest boat, a test object known as Benchy (via Gizmodo). At 30 microns long, it’s a third smaller than the thickness of a human hair and about six times l...
22 Oct 11:26

Nation Glad To See Baseball Players Still Have Names Like Mookie Betts

ALTOONA, PA—Basking in delight and nostalgia as they watched the 2020 MLB World Series, the nation was reportedly glad Wednesday to see baseball players still have names like Mookie Betts. “There are very few things you can count on in this life, so seeing that there are still baseball players out there hustling in…

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