Today, my dad got a picture of himself and put it on a blanket. He gave it to me and calls it the "birth control blanket". FML
Philip.paulsson
Shared posts
02 Jan 20:25
15 French Fast Foods That Shouldn't Look As Good As They Do
Philip.paulssonFoie gras sushi? I'm in!
I’ll try anything once. Even a Big Mac on a bagel.
Le Grand Bagel Cheese — McDonald's
This new offering in McDonald's France serves up two beef patties, a slice of melted cheddar, a slice of melted Emmental, with a cheese sauce dressing on a poppy-sesame bagel. BAGEL.
Quick'n Foie Gras — Quick
Last January, the French fast food chain Quick launched a limited-time burger which featured a slice of foie gras on top a beef patty with lettuce and onion sauce. The campaign? "Your New Year's resolutions can wait."
Mik3park likes this
30 Dec 16:24
NASA's Christmas Eve Selfie From Space Is Hands Down The Best Selfie Of 2013
Philip.paulssonDefinitely the best selfie.
You could even say that it’s OUT OF THIS WORLD. lol sorry.
This amazing selfie was taken by Astronaut Mike Hopkins, Expedition 38 Flight Engineer. He was out on the second of two spacewalks at the International Space Station (ISS) took on Christmas Eve. He and the ISS crew successfully fixed a faulty water pump on the exterior of the station. Also, if you think about it, having the Earth photobombing him in the back makes it even more incredible.
Nasa / Reuters
Rebecca Silverman likes this
30 Dec 15:09
31 Biggest Dog Fails Of 2013
Philip.paulssonHahah love that the narcoleptic puppy made the list... that video must be from 1986.
It was a ruff year.
http://xe-stuff.tumblr.com/post/63786164665
This dog who just wanted to slide like the rest of the kids.
This dog who may never escape.
27 Dec 17:07
Watch Piers Morgan Get Whacked By A Cricket Ball Travelling At 90mph
Philip.paulssonHaha nice. Impressive that he kept going, too...
The CNN host takes on Australian bowler Brett Lee in the nets, and basically gets clobbered.
Former Australia fast bowler Brett Lee challenged Morgan to face him in the nets to give him an idea of how hard professional cricket is.
Cameron Spencer / Getty Images
27 Dec 12:35
The Weirdest New Year's Eve Traditions From Around The World
Philip.paulssonWeird.
Who knows, maybe they actually work.
Wear brand new pink underwear to attract love.
Worst case scenario, you're wearing nice undies :)
At exactly 12:00 step forward with your right foot to start the year with... YOUR RIGHT FOOT!
27 Dec 12:11
Anonymous says FML
by Anonymous
Philip.paulssonHaha!
Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML
Phil Goetz likes this
26 Dec 13:15
The 23 Greatest Pranks Pulled In 2013
Philip.paulssonThe first one is dumb, but some of the rest are pretty hilarious.
Greatest if you’re the one pulling them, that is. I imagine the victims have a different opinion.
Nathan Fielder's "2 grams for $40" text prank:
26 Dec 13:04
PityKitty says FML
by PityKitty
Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML
roxiop, Phil Goetz likes this
23 Dec 13:04
The 16 Best Moments From Last Night's "Saturday Night Live"
Philip.paulssonIt was one of the best episodes I've seen in a long time. Loved the Bloomberg appearance!
Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon reunited on SNL last night and for a few moments all was right in the world.
The literally perfect cold opening "Bring It On Down to Wrappingville," where Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake sang and dressed as Christmas presents.
When Paul McCartney showed up in the monologue!
23 Dec 13:00
Charlie Sheen Wrote A Poem Shaming Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson
Philip.paulssonLove that it's a poem.
A strange new addition to the Duck Dynasty saga. #TigerBlood
Jason Kempin / Getty Images
Theo Wargo / Getty Images
Presented without comment:
hey Mallard brained
Phil Robertso!
you have offended and hurt so many dear friends of mine,
who DO NOT have the voice or the outreach that I do.
well news flash
shower-dodger,
I will speak loudly and clearly for ALL of them.
so,
just when your desperately sub evolved ass thought the pressure was off,
you are now in the crosshairs of a MaSheen style media
beat down.
(I'll try to keep the big words to a minimum as not to confuse you)your statements were and are
abhorrently and
mendaciously unforgivable.the idea that you have a job
outside of dirt-clod stacking
is a miracle.the only 'Dynasty' you are attached to might be the
re-runs of that dated show.the only thing you should ever be in charge of building is a hole in the ground the exact size of your head.
perhaps your beard would fit as well if you plucked out the
army of scabies and
bull weevils sequestered deep in it's sarcophagus of dander and weasel pelts.shame on you.
you're the only surviving
brain donor I've ever known.when the gators and Egrets
kick you out of their
hovel,
you need to make serious amends to those you have
radically offended.on the eight day
when I was whittling my cosmic banjo,
I'm pretty sure YOU were the scattered dross I then used to light a fire and
locate the nearest
Andy Gump.repulsed by you;
c sheenhash tag;
Duck; that was me.
Via Charlie Sheen / twitpic.com
22 Dec 19:54
They've been a long time coming, but Facebook's new video ads are finally here. Confirming an earlier report from the Wall Street Journal that said they'd launch this week, the company said it will start rolling out promoted videos to a limited ...
Facebook confirms autoplay video ads are coming to your News Feed
by Matt Brian
Philip.paulssonAutoplay?! Screw you, facebook!
They've been a long time coming, but Facebook's new video ads are finally here. Confirming an earlier report from the Wall Street Journal that said they'd launch this week, the company said it will start rolling out promoted videos to a limited ...
22 Dec 19:37
33 GIFs From 2013 That Will Make You Laugh Everytime
Philip.paulssonThe Worst Way to Wake Up one kills me. I love how one of her eyes opens before the other, and the sheer panic is just hilarious.
Trust me.
This man taking the worst shortcut ever:
The worst way to wake up:
Chris Bosh's all confetti diet:
Via anythinggoes.com
These dogs imitating a baby crawling:
Via awegif.com
Maflores98 likes this
20 Dec 19:51
Back in 2011, Nest did the impossible: It made thermostats sexy. Apple veterans Tony Fadell and Matt Rogers applied their iPod-designing expertise to the largely utilitarian world of home-climate control, creating the Learning Thermostat, an ...
Nest Protect review: a smoke detector for the smartphone generation
by Brian Heater
Philip.paulssonOne of the very few reasons I'd want to own a home would be to be able to have stuff like this. I'd have the smartest and most internet connected home ever!
Back in 2011, Nest did the impossible: It made thermostats sexy. Apple veterans Tony Fadell and Matt Rogers applied their iPod-designing expertise to the largely utilitarian world of home-climate control, creating the Learning Thermostat, an ...
20 Dec 16:25
Reddit User Freaks Out When Secret Santa Named “Bill” Turns Out To Be Bill Gates
Philip.paulssonOh man... I wonder if the cookies I just mailed out yesterday to my gaming friends went to anyone famous?!
“Before I realized it was THE Bill, just thought it was a friendly fellow named Bill.”
"Bill holding my sign! AHH!"
A Reddit user named Rachel was shocked this week when she found out that the "Bill" who was assigned to her in the website's annual Secret Santa gift exchange was actually a billionaire.
Bill Gates gifted her a stuffed cow along with a donation to the non-profit Heifer International and the travel book Journeys of a Lifetime. Plus there was a photo of him in front of a Christmas tree with the book, cow, and note.
"I thought Bill sounded like a friendly fellow," Rachel said. "In fact, I had this whole image of this poor guy named Bill trying to navigate my wishlist full of makeup, nailpolish, glittery things to buy me. Quite frankly I felt bad for this 'Bill'…"
"The first thing I noticed was a stuffed animal. I didn't know I gave off the stuffed animal vibe, but I excitedly added him to my collection of teddy bears and other delightful friendly creatures. Next, I found the card. To me, from Bill. This still had not clicked, by the way, that it was Bill Gates."
"Before I realized it was THE Bill, just thought it was a friendly fellow named Bill."
"To me, From Bill," she wrote. "I opened this and it's a man holding a sign. Oh.... wait. holy shit. time out. and then it finally hit me. All the presents I just tore open, the charity, then everything-- was from Bill GATES."
Alisongrinter, Krankota and one other like this
20 Dec 16:18
The 23 Most Important Zlatan Ibrahimović Moments Of 2013
Never change, Ibra.
When he played Xbox in satin pajamas.
He is France's only Xbox One ambassador. Because of course he is.
When he overhead kicked England into irrelevance.
Sad Welbeck is sad.
Getty/Michael Regan/Staff
When he scored the world's only overhead backheel goal.
I mean, COME ON.
19 Dec 14:27
5 Facts About Being Poor (From a Rich Person)
By Christina H Published: December 19th, 2013
Writing about being poor has gotten popular lately, some say because the failing economy has put poverty on our minds, although I personally think it's because The Hunger Games is hot. Who can say? Poverty Fact #1: All poor people are good at archer
Craneteam87 likes this
19 Dec 12:25
The best science images of 2013. Come for The Day the Earth Smiled, stay for the Inflated Cat Lungs. NERDGASM [Cool]
Philip.paulssonThese are actually pretty neat. Lots are animated GIFs, but still.
18 Dec 17:58
Here's What Happens When A Bunch Of Adults Try To Do Fifth-Grade Math
Philip.paulssonHey, maybe I'm not so bad at math after all, I got them all right! Definitely need pen+paper though.
And this is why God invented the calculator.
This is the fifth-grade level math quiz we gave the editorial staff of BuzzFeed. Do it yourself first and see how you stacked against us.
...
18 Dec 16:38
Head over to Indiegogo today and you'll find a particularly wacky (and risky) project bidding for your investment. It's a device that goes by the name of No More Woof, which admittedly sounds like it does horrible things to dogs' vocal cords, but ...
Yes, this is dog: No More Woof aims to translate canine thoughts into human speech
by Sharif Sakr
Philip.paulssonFor Mr. Davison
Head over to Indiegogo today and you'll find a particularly wacky (and risky) project bidding for your investment. It's a device that goes by the name of No More Woof, which admittedly sounds like it does horrible things to dogs' vocal cords, but ...
Zizibaluba likes this
18 Dec 13:12
This Video Will Change The Way You Watch "A Christmas Story"
Philip.paulssonLove Actually is great, but I still think this is my favorite xmas movie of all time. And Rare Exports comes in a solid 3rd place.
Everything you need to know about the best Christmas movie ever.
Did you know there's a suction tube hidden in this pole?
No one told the cast about the singing waiters...
The mother couldn't stop laughing during filming.
This movie will NEVER get old.
18 Dec 12:54
This Video Of Black Swans Surfing Will Blow You Away
They can’t. They won’t. THEY JUST DID! Meet Australia’s surfing swans.
Everything starts out swimmingly.
Via youtube.com
Nothing to see here.
Via youtube.com
And then...
Via youtube.com
BOOM!
Via youtube.com
17 Dec 15:45
18 Struggles Of Being The Only Punctual Person In Your Friend Group
Philip.paulssonAt one of the hotpot dinners we went to in Chengdu, there was this poor dude at the table next to us, who had already ordered all the food and everything, and was sitting there fiddling on his phone clearly waiting for like, 6 other people to join him when we sat down. As we were getting the check after we'd eaten, his friends FINALLY showed up. And he didn't even flinch. Just calmly greeted them and they started eating. Dude must be applying for sainthood or something.
“Oh, you’re running late?” AGAIN.
The confusion of arriving at the appointed time and not seeing anybody else around.
Warner Bros. Pictures / Via collegetimes.ie
So you have to awkwardly fiddle around with your phone until they get there.
Paramount Pictures / Via agentvspromoter.tumblr.com
Or you wander in circles on the street, pretending you have somewhere important to go.
You've perfected the fake-confident stride.
But after a while, your legs get tired and you just settle on some random corner to sit down on.
Flickr: bondidwhat / Creative Commons
17 Dec 13:07
A Guy Went Up To People On Their Phones At The Airport And Started Answering Their Conversations
Philip.paulssonI really should bring in earbuds to work so I can watch stuff like this.
Don’t you just hate it when people talk loudly on their phones in public?
Greg and Kim Benson went to the airport and decided to have some fun with people talking on their cell phones at the airport.
The result is super awkward…
…and very funny.
This also isn't the first time they've gone cell phone crashing. Turns out it's just as awkward and great at a park:
17 Dec 13:02
This Guy Spent The Last Month Dressing Up Like Local Realtors And Pasting Himself Over Their Bench Ads
Philip.paulssonThis is hilarious. I love that he didn't even bother shaving to pose as the women.
OK, this is insane and pretty great.
On the left is realtor Lynn Morgan and on the right is Phil Jones.
For the last month Phil Jones has been recreating the ads from local realtors and then taping over them with his own version.
17 Dec 12:59
18 Things Only Midwesterners Understand About Winter
Philip.paulssonErr.... it's not "lower face sweat", it's condensation from your breath that is freezing. So more like "18 things only idiot midwesterners think they understand about winter". And schools closed for double digit negatives? Get back to me when you're in the -40s. When you regularly wake up and hear on the morning news "Today it's colder in Montreal than at the North Pole!" Midwesterners please..
Why do you have gloves on? It’s 40 degrees out.
An intimate familiarity with the peculiar phenomenon of frozen lower-face sweat.
Breathe out, breath warms lower face, lower face sweats, sweat freezes.
Jonathan Daniel / Getty Images
What do you mean 'snow day'? Our schools are only closing for one reason, and that reason is double-digit negative temperatures.
Cold day! Everyone just try to survive, ok?
What walkable ice looks like vs. what "I'm going to fall right away" ice looks like.
cheukiecfu / Via Flickr: cheukiecfu
How long it takes to wait out "I feel freezing" until you get to "I don't feel anything."
17 Dec 12:53
Police Chief's Facebook Response To Kanye West Is Absolutely Perfect
Philip.paulssonHahah nicely done, Chief Oliver.
Yeezy got served, basically.
"That mountain goes really, really high," he told SaturdayNightOnline.com, referring to his onstage performances during songs like, "Coldest Winter." He continued, "And if I slipped…You never know. And, I think about it. I think about my family and I'm like 'Wow, this is like being a police officer or something, in war or something. You literally go out to do your job everyday, knowing that something could happen to you."
Here's the moving mountain he was referring to:
In response, police Chief David Oliver, of Brimfield, OH, wrote this Facebook post:
Did I mention that Chief Oliver is also an author? Yeah, he wrote a book about being an officer.
17 Dec 12:33
Having a Bum Day? Let Darwin Cheer You Up!
Philip.paulssonHah!
Got chewed out by your boss? Darwin’s ghost may be your best cheerleader.
More poltergeist pep-talks available at Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. If you like Zach's work, please consider subscribing to his Patreon. Check out our other featured artists at our ComicsFeed syndication series.
16 Dec 20:58
Invite blocks in hand, we've braved the cold New York weather to pop by Instagram's big event. Naturally, the photo sharing service kicked off with some bullish numbers, noting that it has grown from 80 million to 150 million users this year. But the ...
Instagram debuts Direct, letting users share photos and videos with select friends
by Brian Heater
Invite blocks in hand, we've braved the cold New York weather to pop by Instagram's big event. Naturally, the photo sharing service kicked off with some bullish numbers, noting that it has grown from 80 million to 150 million users this year. But the ...