Don’t get cocky. Big ups to r/PrematureCelebration for the inspiration and schadenfreude.

Life is tough. But it's even tougher when think you've won it all and have to stop...

Because the shot isn't going in:

Via sbnation.com

Because your rollerblades can't magically win first place:

Via wifflegif.com

Because there's someone right behind you:

Via giphy.com

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Thankyou, Portuguese Navy.

The Portuguese Navy tried to launch an experimental drone in a ceremony at Lisbon Naval Base on Wednesday. It... didn't quite work out.

youtube.com

Flawless.

Defence Minister José Pedro Aguiar-Branco, who was at the drone's launch ceremony, commented that it showed why it was "necessary to invest a lot in training".

Via youtube.com

Let's look at that from another angle.

Via youtube.com

Man dressed as a ninja throws plane in harbour. Textbook.

In fairness, as the video shows, the UAV did eventually take flight on a second attempt.

youtube.com

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For the first five minutes, we imagine getting paid to watch adult material would be rather interesting. After that point, however, we'd probably spend the bulk of our day quietly updating our resume. If we didn't, then we'd probably wind up as...

Ash and Lightning above an Icelandic Volcano

By David Christopher Bell  Published: April 21st, 2014  With all the advanced technology available to Hollywood today, it's easy to assume that they have a shortcut for everything. Today's lazy filmmakers can sit down at a MacBook and achieve the same kinds of effects that used to cost a million dollars a

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

What the internet giveth, it also taketh away... and then giveth back again (sort of). Back in January, the script for Quentin Tarantino's next film, a western called the Hateful Eight, showed up online and Defamer drew the web's attention to its...

Everyone in a bustling Chinese parade is attempting to elude pursuers, newly discovered cave paintings suggest early man was battling a lot of inner demons, and a xylophonist is shredding it.

Red Moon, Green Beam
This is not a scene from a sci-fi special effects movie. The green beam of light and red lunar disk are real enough, captured in the early morning hours of April 15. Of course, the reddened lunar disk is easy to explain as the image was taken during this week's total lunar eclipse. Immersed in shadow, the eclipsed Moon reflects the dimmed reddened light of all the sunsets and sunrises filtering around the edges of planet Earth, seen in silhouette from a lunar perspective. But the green beam of light really is a laser. Shot from the 3.5-meter telescope at Apache Point Observatory in southern New Mexico, the beam's path is revealed as Earth's atmosphere scatters some of the intense laser light. The laser's target is the Apollo 15 retroreflector, left on the Moon by the astronauts in 1971. By determining the light travel time delay of the returning laser pulse, the experimental team from UC San Diego is able to measure the Earth-Moon distance to millimeter precision and provide a test of General Relativity, Einstein's theory of gravity. Conducting the lunar laser ranging experiment during a total eclipse uses the Earth like a cosmic light switch. With direct sunlight blocked, the reflector's performance is improved over performance when illuminated by sunlight during a normal Full Moon, an effect fondly known as The Full Moon Curse.

Earth-size Kepler-186f
Planet Kepler-186f is the first known Earth-size planet to lie within the habitable zone of a star beyond the Sun. Discovered using data from the prolific planet-hunting Kepler spacecraft, the distant world orbits its parent star, a cool, dim, M dwarf star about half the size and mass of the Sun, some 500 light-years away in the constellation Cygnus. M dwarfs are common, making up about 70 percent of the stars in our Milky Way galaxy. To be within the habitable zone, where surface temperatures allowing liquid water are possible, Kepler-186f orbits close, within 53 million kilometers (about the Mercury-Sun distance) of the M dwarf star, once every 130 days. Four other planets are known in the distant system. All four are only a little larger than Earth and in much closer orbits, also illustrated in the tantalizing artist's vision. While the size and orbit of Kepler-186f are known, its mass and composition are not, and can't be determined by Kepler's transit technique. Still, models suggest that it could be rocky and have an atmosphere, making it potentially the most Earth-like exoplanet discovered so far ...

Whoever her stylist is deserves some serious credit for her looks throughout the Spider-Man 2 promo tour.

SGP/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES

FameFlynetUK/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES

HP/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES

FameFlynetUK/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES

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Shotgun not picking up all the pieces afterwards.

So Caterpillar decided to spice up a game of Jenga by using these five machines.

The game involved Excavators (large diggers) and Telehandlers (used for lifting).

Via youtube.com

This is going to be epic.

Via youtube.com

The Jenga blocks were slightly bigger than usual...

Via youtube.com

And the operators of the machines needed a little help manoeuvring the blocks.

Via youtube.com

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The former president based his portraits on photos of famous world leaders (and did a pretty decent job).

Flickr: TheBushCenter / Grant Miller / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: georgewbushcenter

Russian Presidential Press and Information Office / Wikipedia / Creative Commons / Via Wikimedia Commons

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If you can believe it, Syfy may be getting back to its pre-name change roots. A notable addition to its plans for the next year is a new TV series based on a popular series of sci-fi books known as The Expanse. The first book Leviathan Wakes snagged...

Gareth Cattermole / Getty Images

What's your wallpaper on your phone and/or computer?

My son.

When you walk into a bar, what do you typically order?

Stella Artois.

What's the one word you are guilty of using too often?

"Mahalo."

What is the last thing you searched for on Google?

My soccer team score.

Who is the last person that called or texted you?

Simon Pegg.

What was the last awkward situation you were in and how did you handle it?

Samuel L. Jackson mistook me for a security guard on The Graham Norton Show. I watched his back.

When is the last time you went to a theater?

1990.

What TV show should everyone should be watching?

Orange Is the New Black.

And what is your TV guilty pleasure?

The Hills.

What's the first CD you bought?

Japan, Quiet Life

What music are you currently listening to?

Wild Nothings.

What is the one food you cannot resist?

Digestive biscuits.

What movie makes you laugh the most?

[This Is] Spinal Tap.

What drives you absolutely crazy?

Rudeness.

Pick one: kittens or puppies?

Puppies.

New York or Los Angeles?

New York.

Comedy or drama?

Dramedy.

Bacon or Nutella?

Bacon.

'80s or '90s?

'90s.

Hannah Montana or Lizzie McGuire?

?

And finally: Tell us a secret.

I've actually never met Simon Pegg.

Cuban Fury will hit theaters Friday, April 11. In the meantime you can watch this!

You may have a good excuse to stay up late tonight. A rare total lunar eclipse, where the Earth casts a shadow over the entire Moon, is due to start at 12:53AM Eastern. Our celestial neighbor should be completely enshrouded by 3:06AM, producing an...

It’s to promote their Easter-themed rabbit pizza.

Perhaps anticipating a backlash, they made a statement on their Facebook page stating that rabbits are a pest in New Zealand, and the skins on their billboard were sourced from "professionals".

facebook.com

Backlash ensued anyway.

facebook.com

facebook.com

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Who are you kidding.

Fox / Via newgirl.wikia.com

[link] [29 comments]

There are a few to choose from.

2321. Whittled
2320. Skrilla
2319. Drucking Funk
2318. Boxed
2317. Ripe
2316. Trolleyed
2315. Snake-Bitten
2314. Gowed-Up
2313. Molly
2312. Looking Through A Glass
2311. In The Crowning Office
2310. Malt Above The Meal
2309. Flaked
2308. Drunk As A Rat
2307. Cornblasted
2306. Amuck
2305. Coxy-Loxy
2304. Beered
2303. Gone Under
2302. Flattened
2301. Torn
2300. Starting To Feel Rosy
2299. About Full
2298. Shouting Oneself Hoarse
2297. Glassy-Eyed
2296. Starting To Glow
2295. Racked
2294. Crocus
2293. Knocked One's Link Out
2292. Has A Slant On
2291. Kerschnickered
2290. Mulled
2289. Tapped
2288. Swallowed A Sailor
2287. Hung Out The Flag Of Defiance
2286. Looked On The Wine When It Was Red
2285. Taken A Horn
2284. Ratted
2283. Pissed As A Parrot
2282. Juiced-Up
2281. Lagered
2280. Bob, Harry & Dick
2279. Drunk As A Tapster
2278. A Date With Sir John Goa
2277. Carrying A Full Cargo
2276. Mellow
2275. Unkdray
2274. Swined
2273. Drunk As Blazes
2272. Feeling Juiced
2271. Tight
2270. Jacked
2269. Madza-Beargered
2268. Shot Down
2267. Bibacious
2266. Slugger
2265. Fuzzled
2264. Dazed
2263. Seeing Things That Aren't There
2262. Pissed Out Of One's Mind
2261. Blewed
2260. Paralytic
2259. Fractured
2258. Pied
2257. Dragging One's Bottom
2256. Has Taken A Chiruping Glass
2255. Plated
2254. Feeling One's Drink
2253. Burns With A Low Flame
2252. Stocked
2251. Stuccoed
2250. Haywire
2249. Glowed
2248. Squamed
2247. Zozzled
2246. French-Fried
2245. Befuddled
2244. Slug-Nutty
2243. Carrying Red Lights
2242. Incapable
2241. Blistered
2240. A Public Mess
2239. Topped
2238. Shiny
2237. Sotted In The Main Brace
2236. Imbibed Too Freely
2235. Afu
2234. Freaked
2233. Riding The Porcelain Bus
2232. Potched
2231. Podgy
2230. Cuckoo
2229. Knocked
2228. Flickered
2227. Up A Stump
2226. Rolled Off The Sofa
2225. Canonized
2224. Pifflicated
2223. Free And Easy
2222. Wholly Wassailed
2221. Ebriose
2220. Ashed
2219. Piffed
2218. As Wise As Solomon
2217. Fou As A Coo
2216. Toxic
2215. Pissed As A Pig
2214. Been To Bungay Fair And Broke Both One's Legs
2213. Mesmerized
2212. Swerved
2211. Whiskied
2210. Bacchus-Bulged
2209. Impixocated
2208. Spifflo
2207. Damp
2206. Cheerfulish
2205. Top-Heavy
2204. Pitching A Leave
2203. Corkscrewing
2202. Uppity
2201. Lubricated
2200. Aroused
2199. Winy
2198. Furschnickered
2197. Has An Edge On
2196. Starting To Spoil
2195. Housed
2194. Givin' The Town Hell With The Hide Off
2193. Bowzed
2192. Quenched
2191. Screwed, Blued And Tattooed
2190. A Sheet Or Two To The Wind
2189. Cut In The Leg
2188. Scammered
2187. Deceived In Liquor
2186. Chateaued
2185. Grogged
2184. Drunk As A Handcart
2183. Preaching
2182. Cut Over The Head
2181. Got One's Little Hat On
2180. Hiccus
2179. Swatched
2178. Swilled
2177. Blootered
2176. One's Malt Above One's Wheat
2175. Drowning One's Reason In The Bottle
2174. Can't Lie On The Ground Without Holding On
2173. Road Hugging
2172. Seeing Things That Ain't In Natural History
2171. Cornered
2170. Kettled
2169. Full As A Goose
2168. Drenching The Gizzard
2167. High As A Lone Star Pine
2166. Para
2165. Zapped
2164. Humming
2163. Amiably Incandescent
2162. Florious
2161. Mugged
2160. Someone Blew Out One's Pilot Light
2159. Biled
2158. Kicking One's Heels
2157. Imbibed Not Wisely But Well
2156. Alcoholled
2155. Sparked
2154. Smockered
2153. Hit On The Head By The Tavern
2152. Unsober
2151. Potsville
2150. Drunk As A Nurse At Christening
2149. Muzzled
2148. Fried To The Eyebrows
2147. A Jag On
2146. Drunk As A Besom
2145. Decanted
2144. Coasting
2143. Soberly Challenged
2142. Hearing The Owl Hoot
2141. Soused To The Ears
2140. Underway
2139. Swigged
2138. Messed
2137. Goat Drunk
2136. Sleazy
2135. Tight As A Rat
2134. Hung Out The Bloody Flag
2133. Whisky Sodden
2132. One's Head On Backwards
2131. Lifted
2130. Cornblinded
2129. Gingered
2128. Bewitched
2127. Has A Permasmile
2126. Wined
2125. Laying One On
2124. Fried On Both Sides
2123. Keeping One's Sails
2122. Moonshined
2121. Listing To Starboard
2120. Unsensed
2119. Staggerish

HBO / Via whatshouldbetchescallme.tumblr.com

2118. Unglued
2117. Bull-Dozed
2116. Perked
2115. Whipsy
2114. Bunged
2113. Drunk As A Wheelbarrow
2112. Het Up
2111. Lushington Is One's Master
2110. Warming
2109. Drunk As A Log
2108. Corky
2107. Running Amok
2106. Barmy
2105. Heated
2104. A Brewer
2103. Gummixed
2102. Drunk As A Plymouth Fiddler
2101. Striped
2100. Saturated
2099. Full As A Lord
2098. Loop-Legged
2097. Sunk
2096. Muffed
2095. Wuzzy
2094. Starting To Feel Good
2093. Drunk As A Fowl
2092. Maroc
2091. Piper-Fou
2090. Laid Out Like A Rug
2089. 86ed
2088. Been On Sentry
2087. Blind Chance
2086. Cupshotten
2085. Pealaid
2084. Hopped To The Eyelids
2083. Wine-Potted
2082. Toxicated
2081. Tanked
2080. Fozzed
2079. Been Looking Through Rose-Colored Glasses
2078. Going To Jerusalem
2077. Discombobulated
2076. Biargered
2075. Crapsick
2074. Fupped Duck
2073. Keg-Legged
2072. Paled
2071. Lion-Drunk
2070. Priddy
2069. Tweased
2068. Wee-Weed
2067. Drunk As Hell
2066. Somebody Stole One's Rudder
2065. Iron-Plated
2064. Haunted With Evil Spirits
2063. Cocking The Elbow
2062. Hit And Missed
2061. Heated With Brandy
2060. Liquorish
2059. Blonked
2058. Spoony
2057. Has The Blue Johnnies
2056. Buckled
2055. Teed
2054. Praying To The Porcelain God
2053. Plumb Drunk
2052. Ding'swizzled
2051. Gory-Eyed
2050. Bent And Broken
2049. Tippled
2048. Sober As A Judge On Friday
2047. Thrown Down
2046. Commencin' To Feel It
2045. Flaring
2044. Mortally Drunk
2043. Kissing The Cap
2042. Tuppence On The Can
2041. Cider Drunk
2040. Seeing Double And Feeling Single
2039. Bet One's Kettle
2038. Has The Malt Above The Water
2037. Biting One's Name In
2036. Maudlin
2035. Fully Tanked
2034. Grudo
2033. Hooched
2032. Shipwrecked
2031. Floating High
2030. Boska
2029. Spreeish
2028. Copped An Elephant
2027. Pilfered
2026. Hyped
2025. In The Tank
2024. Besotten
2023. Spanked
2022. Scrooched
2021. Temulent
2020. Been Crooking The Elbow
2019. Lit Like Broadway
2018. Boggled
2017. Seeing Pink Spiders
2016. Stupid Legged
2015. Kalied
2014. Drunk With A Continuando
2013. Coarse
2012. Simply Stinko
2011. Harty
2010. Gordoned
2009. Whipsed
2008. Called The Wharf Cat
2007. Got One's Shoes Full
2006. Shattered
2005. Snackered
2004. Drunk Oneself Dead
2003. Cutting One's Wolf Loose
2002. Tight-Wadded
2001. Drank The Three Outs
2000. Under Full Sail
1999. In A Vise
1998. Spiffled
1997. Hepped
1996. Bashed
1995. Illuminated With Champagne
1994. Full As Two Race Trains
1993. Bottled
1992. Bombed Out Of One's Kugs
1991. Washing One's Neck
1990. Sponge-Eyed
1989. Blammed
1988. Has A Crown-Fire
1987. Ripped To The Tits
1986. Pifted
1985. Selling Buicks
1984. Caught One
1983. Hearing The Birdies Sing
1982. Done A Daniel Boone
1981. Hosed
1980. Assed
1979. Delerit
1978. Slippery
1977. Watching Ant Races
1976. Skew-Whiff
1975. Goofed
1974. Roasted
1973. Better If One's Gone Twice After The Same Load
1972. Flipped
1971. Martin
1970. Full As A Fiddle
1969. Upped The Buckets
1968. Fizzled
1967. Commode-Hugging
1966. More Or Less In Liquor
1965. Thick-Legged
1964. Buoyed
1963. Hooted
1962. Has Punch Aboard
1961. Topy
1960. Far Out
1959. Got 'Em Thick
1958. Cut In The Back
1957. Beastly
1956. Staggered By Firewater
1955. Bottoms
1954. Vapor-Locked
1953. Tight As A Drum
1952. Sploshed
1951. Drunk As A King
1950. Can't Walk A Chalk
1949. Toasted
1948. Completely Squashed
1947. Drunk As Blaizers
1946. Gargled
1945. Inter Poculis
1944. Feeling One's Liquor
1943. Lumped
1942. Drunk As A Piper-Fou
1941. Whisky-Shot
1940. Sloppy
1939. Rooked
1938. Golfed
1937. Rummy
1936. Round The Bend
1935. Imbibed Giggle Water
1934. Topped Off
1933. Wetting The Whistle
1932. Drunk As Dancing Pigs
1931. Chasing The Kettle
1930. Has Tied On The Bear
1929. Pafisticated
1928. Heeled Over
1927. Merry
1926. Half A Load On
1925. Snot-Flinging
1924. Biffed
1923. Beyond Salvage

Columbia Pictures / Via alwaysmoneyinthebnanastand.tumblr.com

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Released a decade before Captain America was thawed out , the film follows an assortment of high school seniors who assemble with a common goal in mind: steal the answers to the SAT exam to get, you guessed it, The Perfect Score .

Since you live on this planet, it's highly likely you've contributed to Marvel's latest blockbuster opening weekend as Captain America: The Winter Soldier sits pretty on top of the box office with a $96 million domestic haul. Chris Evans reprises his role as the titular Captain of Great Abs and Scarlett Johansson aka Black Widow kicks even more ass than she did in 2012's The Avengers. Hindsight is a glorious thing, you see, because the first time Evans and Johansson graced a screen together was a total disaster. In 2004, The Perfect Score, produced by MTV Films, earned a 17% Rotten Tomatoes score and took in $10.3 million in theaters. Okay, so, the film isn't exactly critically-acclaimed, but you should still give it a chance because why wouldn't you want to watch Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff interact in high school?

rottentomatoes.com / Via toutlecine.com

Paramount / MTV Films / Via fanpop.com

Paramount / MTV Films / Via thegoodfilms.com

Bryan Greenberg's hair was so 2002.

But I'll never stop loving you, Jake Jagielski.

Bryan Greenberg / Via instagram.com

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Don't change your password. It's strange advice to hear when the so-called Heartbleed bug is leaving databases all over the web open and exposed, but it's applicable. Yes, security has been compromised for many of your favorite websites and services...

You need a vacation.

A week in an office:

explosm.net

Childhood career plans vs. current ones.

toothpastefordinner.com

Working retail/service for national chains:

amazingsuperpowers.com

amazingsuperpowers.com

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SO. MAGICAL.

IT'S

youtube.com

SO

youtube.com

BEAUTIFUL

youtube.com

youtube.com

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#1: poop

You don't have to share your peanut butter and then see it wasted all over the floor.

Via blogs.citypages.com

You don't have to deal with ANY OF THIS.

Via marginalizingmorons.blogspot.com

Or this. NOPE.

Via imgur.com

You can decide whether or not you want to decorate the walls.

Via rantaboutthisandraveaboutthat.blogspot.com

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Any fight that ends with a hug is my kind of fight.

View Video ›

Facebook: pedrojose.morenovelasco / Via dailypicksandflicks.com

I die.

facebook.com

I'm dead.

facebook.com

Mini Metro will make you forget your terrible commute.

Mini Metro is a free browser game that lets you plan a subway.

It's by the Kiwi developer Dinosaur Polo Club.

It's pretty simple. You draw lines between stations, increase station capacity, and build more cars.

If you don't build fast enough, passengers get stranded.

Anyways, I just built four new subway lines in 8 minutes. Where the hell is the 2nd Avenue subway "de Blasio"?

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167,903 emails: “Someone would like to add you to their professional network! :)”

qwantz.com

More dinos who don't want to add you in their professional networks at Dinosaur Comics.

Kevin Tang