nevver:

Rokeby Venus by Valezquez, Audrey Wollen

wild-guy:

Edlyn Sammanasu, 34, is very clear that she didn’t convert to Islam as some sort of precondition for getting married. She fell in love with a man and also discovered an affinity for his religion.

“My husband didn’t  say that I had to become Muslim for us to be together; I wanted to be Muslim," she says. Edlyn is one of a group of American women who are converting to their partners’ religions when they get married, but not — as you might assume — because a rigid doctrine or dogmatic parents demand it. They're doing it because they want to. 

Religion in America is losing its rigidity. More of us than ever have no affiliation at all, and those who do are more likely to change. A recent Pew study found nearly half of adults now change religions in their lifetimes. The vast majority of those who switch are young adults, growing up into an increasingly secularized world and leaving their parents' beliefs behind. 

That leaves a cohort who grew up religious, but have no contemporary religious practice. As they fall in love and get married, many are re-introduced to religion via the faith of their partners — and some end up converting. 

“In the previous generations, the majority of conversions were for the sake of the parents,” says Mayan Sands, a rabbi and religious scholar. “But now, fewer people are marrying young, and people in their 30s are less likely to be influenced by their parents — at that point, they’re more concerned with general human compatibility.”

We talked to five such women, all of whom, in one way or another, adopted the faith of their husbands as part of getting married. Their stories are different, but they share strains in common: Each talked about missing the religion they'd had as a child, and all described feeling connected to the teachings of their new faiths — of falling in love with a person and with a practice.

Kelsey Osgood


My fiance and I have been dating for four and a half years. He was born Jewish. I was not, but I’d become really interested in Judaism for a couple reasons. I’ve always been fascinated by things that are different than me, and also communities that are very tight and insular, people who have a strong sense of religious and cultural identity. I think I was a little bit jealous of that.

My parents are secular; I’m not sure they would go so far as to say they are atheists, but they certainly don’t have a great attraction to faith. They didn’t raise us in a very secular way; we just thought we were really low-grade Christians. 

My fiance and I met in Miami, we were both living there temporarily for work, and we started dating really quickly. He comes from a Reform background. Reform is not the most liberal kind of Judaism, but it’s on the left end on the spectrum. They are very active in social justice, but tend to be less observant in other ways, like keeping Sabbath or keeping kosher. 

When I first started to consider the idea of converting, I didn’t want to tell my fiance — I wanted him to think it was a decision I came to on my own, not to feel like I had an ulterior motive. He never would have said, “I need you to do this; I want you to do this.”


I went to see a million rabbis all over New York. I knew I didn’t want to convert Reform, so I saw mostly Conservative rabbis, none of whom I liked that much. It became clear that I felt like I wanted to do an Orthodox conversion — because of my nature, that was the only way I was going to feel good about it. When I told him this, we got in a big fight.

A lot of people think it’s a big deal for me to convert — but it’s really a huge jump for him. He essentially grew up in a completely different religion; there are so many day-to-day activities that the Reform tradition doesn’t do. 

After a while, I found a rabbi to do the conversion. Now, it’s just timing: The rabbi would prefer that we don’t live together for too long in between my conversion and our marriage. It sounds old school, but I see where they are coming from.

Being a good Jew means you’re really supposed to be scholarly, to advance your knowledge. There’s a lot to learn, and some of it can be very overwhelming, but there’s also a lot of stuff that seems so logical — the idea of taking a day off and spending it with your family. Now, the weekend isn’t the weekend anymore, and I think it’s really smart that we have this thing built in that says you have to slow down, not worry so much about your phone.

I do worry that there are lifestyle changes that are going to make it more difficult, like not being able to do things on Saturdays. Even once you tell people that's the way it is, it still doesn’t register. 

Judaism understands that it is difficult and complicated to be a human being. It’s a really earth-based religion that is about what you do when you’re alive as opposed to what happens to you after you die. 

There are a lot of mitzvahs that are really concrete — you have to give to charity, you don’t eat meat and milk together — and, even though cheeseburgers are very good, that one's easier to do than learning to love people who are different from you, to treat people kindly even if it makes you uncomfortable. Being in a position that other people think is strange has actually given me a lot more respect for people who make weird decisions.

Karen Hunt-Ahmed 

I grew up Methodist in Tennessee. My family was very involved in the church, but it was a social community. Now, you think of churches as evangelical, but it was more of a social service community: We fixed houses in the Appalachian Mountains, did projects with inner-city kids. 

When I was thinking of getting married to my then-boyfriend who was Muslim, I learned that Islam is very social-service and community oriented and less about proselytizing. That’s what made me say I can convert to Islam — I saw my service background in Islam. I educated myself; I read the entire Quran. I had several friends who were Muslim. It’s not that we talked about religion all the time, but I liked how they lived and I respected how they lived. This was in the ‘80s and early ‘90s, when Iran and Iraq’s invasion of Kuwait was going on. There were starting to be some stereotypes out in the world about Muslims, but I didn’t see any of those stereotypes. The people I knew were just nice, normal people.

We lived in Dubai for the first five years that we were married; Islam was much more a part of our lives there. There, the holidays are major holidays. His family is there, and they observed the major holidays, went to prayers every Friday, and fasted for Ramadan. Fasting was kind of fun, actually. It was difficult sometimes, but everyone else was doing it; I’d go to work and half the workplace was fasting. 

In Dubai, everybody accepted me, I did not feel anybody questioning why I had converted, whether I was a real Muslim, or anything like that. In America, I feel people questioning. Not everybody — the imam I’m closest to is fully supportive of me — but I do feel like sometimes the average person is maybe judging me. That combined with the fact that I converted, and now I’m divorced — I think people are kind of confused about what I’m doing.

I’m continuing to practice — it’s been really interesting. I personally need a spiritual home, and since Islam is my spiritual home, it was pretty normal for me. For a while, after the divorce, I was actually going to the mosque more often than I did when I was married. After the divorce, my Muslim friends were the most supportive. A lot of my American friends dropped me. My Muslim friends were more open, they'd say things like, "Everyone goes through something."

A lot of American men think that Muslim men oppress Muslim women — and I’m an anthropologist, so I can say that. The only thing I’d say is that it’s really all cultural — it doesn’t come from the religion. My Muslim women friends have jobs. They don’t have to come home and cook all the time. The men pick up the kids from school. Most of those stereotypes are more cultural than religious.

The hijab part of it — I do not think the hijab is repressive. I think it’s a way women choose to express themselves religiously. I do agree with people who say that a woman covering her body gives her a lot of freedom that she doesn't have if she’s dressed in a more skimpy fashion. I’m not as strict of a practicing Muslim and that’s why I choose not to wear a hijab, but I think it’s actually a good thing.

Liberty Tillemann-Dick 

My religious upbringing paved the way for my embrace of Hinduism. I was raised Mormon but my mom’s family was Jewish. Her Jewish heritage was very present in our upbringing, as well — we always did Hanukkah and Sukkot and Passover. There were just a lot of festivals and faith going on in our home. 

Mormons have early morning scripture study, and during high school I had perfect attendance. I was pretty onboard, until I went to college. Then, I think it’s just what happens in college where you’re encouraged to start asking questions and really dig deeper into a whole range of topics. Faith and religion have always been some of the biggest things in my life.

In college, I started not just doing ritual (going to church and praying and reading my scripture) but trying to have some thought and purpose behind my actions. When I started thinking all of that through, I realized there were big pieces of it that I just didn’t believe. My husband was born in India. He’s very Western now, but his parents are pretty traditional. He was the first person of his family to date outside of his regional ethnicity — let alone contemplate marriage. He has younger cousins who have arranged marriages, and that was definitely along the lines of what his parents had envisioned for their oldest son. 

The second year we dated, I read the Bhagavad Gita and learned how to cook Indian food. I realized there was already a significant amount of pushback when it came to our relationship from his family, and so I wanted to do what I could to move that process along. 


I converted to make it clear that I wasn’t a total “other,” that we could move toward that common ground instead of focusing on the things that make us different. And, there were little things — I’ve been a vegetarian since I was four years old, which is very important to his family and to their culture. Little things like that really helped to make them see that this would not be such a huge change for them. 

I had had a difficult time with my family around leaving the Mormon faith. I think “renounce” is too strong of a word; I’d had a “conscious uncoupling” with Mormonism many years prior. My mother’s hopes for me were for a white wedding tied to very specific rituals within the Mormon faith, and I’d already made the decision that I didn’t want them. And so, for my mother to see that I was embracing some sort of faith structure was encouraging and comforting. 


My family is wonderful, and I think for them, this was just adding on to that patrimony that we had as a family of just embracing and bringing in more joy and fun and festivals. And, an Indian wedding — who can’t get behind that? My family were all thrilled to wear saris and eat really good Indian food. Even my brothers dressed up in Indian clothes.

We’re definitely going to have kids — we’ve settled on Hin-Jews. My grandparents were holocaust survivors, and I think Judaism and Hinduism mesh pretty easily. It’s all about the widening of the canopy and so we just want to make sure that both of our family traditions get play with our kids. And, I have a huge family that is very involved in Mormonism, so we know our kids will get a healthy dose of that without doing anything on our part.

Edlyn Sammanasu 

I was born and raised Catholic, before I became Muslim. I was raised in a religious family and very active in the church. My dad is well-read, but he’d say weird things, like “If I ever had to change religions, Islam would be the last one I’d ever pick,” or something like that. 

Growing up, I had questions about the Trinity or my faith, and I’d get answers from a priest or my parents that didn’t make sense. But, in my head, I had my own idea of God and religion. When I started to learn about Islam, it really started to come together.

I met my future husband one summer during a college internship. We ended up falling in love and around that time I started learning more about Islam. In college, they’d just started offering a few classes about Islam, and I took whatever classes were available. At some point during those classes, I felt like I was already Muslim. Of course, I don’t think I would have taken those classes if my boyfriend wasn’t in the picture, but it really felt like all of these puzzle pieces were just coming together.

I knew my parents would be against me having a future with my husband. I grew up in a pretty conservative household; I don’t think even the most religious Catholic boyfriend would have been welcomed, either. But, my parents knew I was going to visit this friend, and eventually my mom came out and asked if I was in love with this person. I started crying; there was a lot of drama.


Eventually, they met my boyfriend and told him that he needed to convert. In the most respectful way possible, my boyfriend said, "Heck no, that’s not going to happen. It’s not negotiable for me." So, my parents commanded us to stop seeing each other. We tried it — we broke up for a couple of months, but we were just too heartbroken and started seeing each other again in secret. 

Fast-forward to after I graduated from college and was living back at home with my parents. I hated having to hide my relationship from them and I didn’t want to convert until I could practice freely. At some point that summer I told my boyfriend that we had to tell my parents what was going on and that we wanted to get married eventually. I knew it wouldn’t go over lightly. 

I grabbed all the things I thought I’d need if my parents weren’t happy — my contacts, glasses, passport — and packed it up and went to talk to my parents.

They called 911 and said a guy was trying to kidnap their daughter. The police asked how old I was, and when they heard, they said they couldn’t do anything — but they came anyway and just stood outside. That was a Friday. I spent the night at a friend’s place and two days later we arranged to get married at a mosque. I had converted five minutes before we got married.


The marriage process is just signing papers with representatives of both parties. My parents definitely did not come, but I didn't exactly tell them. The whole marriage-in-48-hours-thing was out of necessity.

Now, 12 years later, things are a lot better. They still do not acknowledge the fact that I am Muslim. They’ll send my husband emails that say “Eid Mubarak!” and I’ll be cc’d on the email, but they won’t say it to me. I wear a hijab now, but I don’t wear it with them. They might know that I wear it; my mom saw me once at a park with it and my dad has seen my work ID card with it.

I’m trying my best to practice Islam, but I’m also trying my best to keep my relationship with my parents. It’s important that my husband didn’t say that I had to become Muslim for us to be together; I wanted to be Muslim.

 Tiffani Brooks 

I grew up in a very Christian, mostly white community in Washington State, where I wasn’t really exposed to other religions. Then, I moved to L.A. to go to grad school, where I ended up meeting my now-husband.

He’s Reform Jewish, not very religious, but as we started to date, the conversation definitely came up pretty early. “Hey, I’m Jewish; you’re not. This could work, but you gotta convert.” It’s a huge thing to say to someone. It was extremely uncomfortable. You could say something like, “My Judaism is really important to me. I’d love for you to learn about it; will you come to temple with me?” But no, that wasn’t the conversation.

He got very lucky, though: I’m really open, and I didn’t grow up in a religious household. We had values and traditions, but we weren’t religious, so, in my eyes, I wasn’t making a huge sacrifice. I thought: I’m bringing something new into my life, instead of giving something up. But, when you’re imagining marrying someone after two months, it’s all kind of hypothetical.

The awkward piece came when his mother sat me down. We’d been dating six months. His dad took him in his office, and his mom took me in the breakfast room, and she sat me down and said, “You have to convert; it’s not an option. We want the grandchildren to be Jewish.” We had the full sit-down. Apparently, his last girlfriend was also not Jewish and they told him, “If you marry her, we’re not going to give you the family business.”

So, I did an introduction to Judaism class at the temple, and he did it with me, and he ended up proposing to me after that.

My family is very understanding and welcoming. They didn’t know anything about it. But, when we got married, my mom and my grandma educated themselves. It was never an issue with my family — my mom was mostly concerned about what the right thing to do at Christmas was. (“Can I still get the kids stockings, can I use Christmas paper?”)

Currently, I’m actually going through a divorce. When that all went down, I started to explore. How does Judaism stay in my life or not stay in my life? I felt like I was never fully accepted. Like, they didn’t care if I embraced it or accepted it, just that I did it. 

And, I understand, it’s not their job to teach me about their religion. Here I was walking in as a 32-year-old woman, and playing catch-up. Now it’s really hard and I’m in a funky place. It’s not that I disliked it or like I’m glad that over. But to be honest with you, because I wasn’t exposed to it, I don’t really understand it.

There’s this family feel to Judaism, togetherness. I liked all that. And, I absolutely 100% love and adore the temple that we belong to. When you talk about family feel, these are the people who have embraced me from the very beginning, not judgmental. They know a lot about my current situation and have become my family. My son will stay in this preschool and my kids will go to Hebrew school and they’ll be bar and bat-mitzvahed. They are Jewish. Do I see myself increasing my participation? No. I don’t see myself in temple every night.

There are definitely certain aspects that I love. There’s a piece of it. There were a lot of sacrifices in my life, but things I wanted to do. I was in love. But it’s not — I think when you deal with divorce, there’s a lot of ugliness and bitterness, so there’s a piece that’s like "screw them," but it’s important to my children and ultimately I know it’s important to him and I’m not a vindictive person.

I have a lot of Jewish friends and community, people that I enjoy being with. It is something that’s very present in my life. The driving force will be the kids.

Другие классические игры будут доступны через Windows Store

Читать дальше...

bravenewwhat:

Being a cunt at Lunch Bytes but I stand by what I said 

kvltdad:

© SInIStEr_CLoWn on Angelfire

Turns out, America is just average when it comes to cooking — in terms of time spent, that is.

A new study from GfK found that the U.S. ranks 12th when it comes to hours spent in the kitchen among the countries researched. After surveying more than 27,000 respondents ages 15 to 60+ in 22 countries, the researchers found that cooks in India spend the most time in the kitchen — some 13.2 hours a week. Americans, on the other hand, only spend an average of 5.9 hours per week.

Following India is Ukraine, South Africa, Indonesia, Italy, and Spain. The least kitchen-friendly country is South Korea, where an average of just 3.7 hours are spent cooking on a weekly basis. Globally, the average time spent clocks in at around 6.5 hours each week. 

Of course, let's not start food-shaming everyone; the types of food native to each country all have varying prep times and less time spent in the kitchen doesn't necessarily correlate to less food knowledge. The study also found that the U.S. was decidedly more "knowledgeable" concerning food than its mid-ranked counterparts, with 35% of respondents displaying "great knowledge about food and cooking." 

Sure, some of this might be bragging, but it's nice to know that of the 15-to-19-year-olds surveyed, 31% of responders said they were "passionate" about cooking. Something to mull over as you browse the offerings on Seamless tonight. (Food and Wine)

Like what you see?How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

28 Delicious NYC Toast Dishes To Try

The Best Way To Use Peanut Butter & Jelly EVER

7 Chocolate Easter Eggs We Just Can't Say No To

Jackie Nickerson

Lookbook Kane West x Adidas Original

Знания, которые принесут больше всего денег

Читать дальше...

Let’s be real: You should be reading books, and books by women, every month of the year. But, since March is Women’s History Month, you have a built-in excuse to check out a few titles by some of our greatest female writers. That women have contributed just as much to our literary culture as men doesn't even need to be said. But, even in 2015, there are noticeable gender gaps in the kind of work that gets noticed and reviewed by the media.

Ahead, you'll find 30 suggestions for books written by women to crack open this month — from essays, memoirs, and fiction, to all-time classics and brand-new stunners.

Near to the Wild Heart by Clarice Lispector

What: A feverish, Joycean first novel that flicks back and forth through the life and memories of an irrepressibly wild and mostly amoral young woman named Joana.

Why: Lispector burst onto the Brazilian literary scene at a mere 23 years old with this incendiary novel, which earned her the title "Hurricane Clarice." It remains one of the most important modernist works ever written, full of shuddering power and unfiltered emotion.

Krik? Krak! by Edwidge Danticat

What: MacArthur Genius Grant winner Edwidge Danticat's first collection of short stories, mostly set in Haiti.

Why: In these stories, Danticat investigates the relationships women create — particularly those between mothers and daughters — and the struggles her characters face as they attempt to reconcile their pasts with their futures. Her prose is warm and inviting, even as she describes extreme suffering. The result is something uncommonly effective, no matter who you are.

Dear Life by Alice Munro

What: The most recent collection of short stories by one of the greatest living practitioners of the craft.

Why: Munro has a rare talent that gives every one of her short stories the weight and punch of a novel, investigating the lives and loves of everyday people in a way that never fails to captivate. Plus, the lady won the 2013 Nobel Prize in Literature — and for someone who only writes in the short form, that's an even more impressive feat.

A Room of One's Own by Virginia Woolf

What: Woolf's famous 1929 book-length essay that investigates the plight of the female artist.

Why: Because Woolf is one of the greatest writers of all time, and because her essay, which argues for both physical and psychological space for women to create art, is still important today.

Beloved by Toni Morrison

What: A Pulitzer Prize-winning novel that tells the story of Sethe, an escaped slave, complete with ghosts of all kinds.

Why: Toni Morrison is a giant of American letters, and this book is her searing, striving, terrifying best.

Bluets by Maggie Nelson

What: Technically a lyric essay, this luminous little book is a deeply felt love letter to the color blue.

Why: This book is unlike anything else you'll ever read, investigating life, love, philosophy, suffering — and yes, all things blue — in short, eloquent paragraphs. It reads like an extended prose poem that will rock you to the core.

The Luminaries by Eleanor Catton

What: A dazzling, vivacious novel set during the New Zealand gold rush and revolving around a set of mysterious happenings.

Why: Catton has quickly become one of the most celebrated young writers working today, winning the Man Booker Prize at 28, making her the youngest recipient ever. All hype aside, this book, a monster at 864 pages, will lure you in and keep you hostage for hours.

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

What: Didion's intimate memoir about the death of her husband and her daughter's illness.

Why: No list of recommendations for books by women — or indeed, any books — would be complete without a volume by Didion, our doyenne of the written word, a living legend. But, be warned: You won't get out of this book without at least one good cry.

A Tale for the Time Being by Ruth Ozeki

What: A complex novel that centers on the diary of a Japanese teenage girl who decides that the only way to cure her angst is to end her own life — but not before she documents the life story of her great-grandmother, a Buddhist nun.

Why: Not only is Ozeki's novel a great piece of storytelling, it also investigates the way stories shape and affect us — not to mention what it's like to be a woman, a storyteller, and part of a family in every stage of life.

Sleepless Nights by Elizabeth Hardwick

What: Part memoir, part novel, part scrapbook — all vivid sensory exploration of memory, personality, and experience.

Why: Hardwick was one of the most important critics and theorists of her time, and her most famous novel is still a unique creation — a piece of art that elevates quality of mind and language above all else.

Almost Famous Women by Megan Mayhew Bergman

What: Bergman's collection features fictional stories based on 13 real-life "almost famous" women — from dancer Butterfly McQueen to Allegra Byron, Lord Byron's daughter out of wedlock, to a pair of conjoined twins in Hollywood.

Why: Because what better time is there for celebrating the lesser-known heroines of our history, and reading some vibrant, generous short stories in the process?

The Liars' Club by Mary Karr

What: Memoirist and poet Mary Karr's first book tells the story of her roughshod childhood in a scummy Texas oil town, and is both hilarious and devastating.

Why: Karr's voice is like no other, and this year marks the 20th anniversary of this incendiary first memoir — so, if you've been dragging your feet, why? This book will knock you off them immediately.

My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante

What: A portrait of two girls growing up together in a small town in Italy, from one of that country's most acclaimed writers.

Why: This is one of the best books about female friendship in recent memory — so what better book to read during Women's History Month? After all, we all get by with a little help from our lady friends.

I Feel Bad About My Neck: and Other Thoughts on Being a Woman by Nora Ephron

What: The hilarious Nora Ephron's slim book of essays about aging, and particularly, the plight of the aging woman.

Why: This book is solidarity, wit, and wisdom you can fit in right your pocket — no matter how old you are.

Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters

What: A compulsively readable novel about the Victorian-era music hall girls, in all their gender-bending, sapphic, passionate glory.

Why: It's a historical novel with plenty of seduction and sex and pretty much zero men — which can feel like a breath of fresh air in our male-dominated cultural landscape.

The Wife by Meg Wolitzer

What: In this novel's opening passages, the wife of a famous New York novelist decides to leave him. We find out, over the course of the novel, just exactly why.

Why: With this book, both a hilarious work of satire and a compelling novel in its own right, prepare to delight in Wolitzer's dry wit and keen sense of humanity, as well as consider the plight of the "literary wife" — or indeed, any wife.

Men We Reaped by Jesmyn Ward

What: Over a mere four years in Jesmyn Ward's life, five men close to her died — from accident, from overdose, from suicide — and spurred this memoir, which investigates the reasons behind the tragedies.

Why: The book is about family, poverty, hopelessness and hope, men and women, but also an essential read about race in America from one of our brightest young writers.

A Girl Is a Half-Formed Thing by Eimear McBride

What: A strange, beautiful work of contemporary modernism that won the 2014 Bailey's Women's Prize for Fiction.

Why: Too often, narratives by and about women that are both emotionally raw and formally inventive are ignored. This one, about a girl's relationship with her brother, was one of the best, and most difficult, books of last year — don't ignore it.

Girl in a Band by Kim Gordon

What: The brand-new memoir from Sonic Youth founder and front woman Kim Gordon.

Why: Kim Gordon is a living piece of kick-ass women's history, and she's written a book about how she got there. Need we say more?

The Woman Warrior by Maxine Hong Kingston

What: An innovative memoir that blends Kingston's experiences with traditional Chinese folktales.

Why: Kingston's book examines the nature of oppression, womanhood, and both American and Chinese identities. She writes: “There is a Chinese word for the female I — which is ‘slave.’ Break the women with their own tongues!"

So the young Kingston revolted against her gender: “I refused to cook. When I had to wash dishes, I would crack one or two. ‘Bad girl,’ my mother yelled, and sometimes that made me gloat rather than cry. Isn’t a bad girl almost a boy?”

Dora: a Headcase by Lidia Yuknavitch

What: A novel that centers on 17-year-old Ida, a fictionalized version of Freud's famous case study of "hysterical" bisexual Dora.

Why: Because Ida takes back the term "hysterical," and because we need more out-there portrayals of femininity in popular culture — for Women's History Month and every other. “I want to create new girl myths,” Yuknavitch said of her writing. Let's have lots more where this came from.

The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir

What: An essential feminist text that asks its readers to examine gender — and our preconceptions of it.

Why: When better than Women's History Month to investigate the nature of woman-ness, particularly as its been constructed in our culture? Plus, if you've never read this ur-text of feminism, it's about time.

Heroines by Kate Zambreno

What: An urgent, insightful book about “the mad wives of modernism,” both historical and fictional, “who died in the asylum. Locked away, rendered safe. Forgotten, erased, or rewritten.”

Why: For reading in opposition to suppression of all kinds.

The Bloody Chamber by Angela Carter

What: Sexy, feminist retellings of classic fairy tales.

Why: Did you read the "what"?

The Golden Notebook by Doris Lessing

What: Lessing's influential postmodern masterpiece follows writer Anna Wulf, who keeps an account of each strand of her life in a separate notebook — "a black notebook which is to do with Anna Wulf the writer; a red notebook concerned with politics; a yellow notebook, in which I make stories out of my experience; and a blue notebook which tries to be a diary." — and weaves these in with another separate fictional account of Anna.

Why: Because this book is an antisocial, feminist touchstone, and Doris Lessing was a complete badass. Also, it will make you smarter.

Men Explain Things to Me by Rebecca Solnit

What: A slim book that takes on female self-doubt and our cultural gender gap via the all-too-prevalent trend of men explaining things to women that they assume — wrongly — women don’t understand.

Why: Women’s history includes the history of mansplaining. Solnit will help you battle it.

Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys

What: Rhys’ famous postcolonial prequel to Jane Eyre investigates race, cultural displacement, and the trope of the “madwoman in the attic.”

Why: History is full of madwomen in attics, in all their various permutations, but any investigation of the concept’s literary scope has to start here.

The Secret History of Wonder Woman by Jill Lepore

What: A book exploring the complex origin and history of the most popular female superhero ever invented.

Why: Because even fictional women deserve to be remembered during Women’s History Month — especially if that fictional woman is as badass and ubiquitous as Wonder Woman.

The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood

What: Atwood’s vision of a future, religion-dominated America in which women are relegated to status symbols or slaves for procreation.

Why: Because the first step in keeping anything like this from happening is to start thinking about it. Also, because this book is incredible.

We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

What: A rallying cry of an essay (and the one sampled by Beyoncé) with a message true to its title.

Why: Because we really should.

Like this post? There's more. Get tons of entertainment news, celebrity updates, and cat videos on the Refinery29 Entertainment Facebook page. Like us on Facebook — we'll see you there!

Like what you see?How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

The Novel That Begins Where Human Life Ends

The Definitive List Of 100 Biographies & Memoirs You Should Read

Madonna Read Fifty Shades Of Grey & It Was Awesome

youngstero:

do you think nut companies whose nuts are given out on planes are highly respected in the nut community or are they like the losers

i believe in hate at first sight

angryblacktenor:

I’m screaming at “the BEST  Journey songs OF ALL TIMES” 

this is 99.9% of the white dads I’ve met in my lifetime

that is frightening 

Stephen James Napier Tennant (21 April 1906 – 28 February 1987) was a British aristocrat known for his decadent lifestyle. It is said, albeit apocryphally, that he spent most of his life in bed. Stella Tennant’s Gran uncle

gasoilne:

ghoor:

Thx Cher

!!!!!!!

When Valentine’s Day rolls around, some quality chocolates and a bottle of bubbly are nice, but, really, we need a bit more to whet our appetites and stoke the flames of love. We’ve all turned to the trusty web to inspire creating a seductive atmosphere or cooking a swanky meal with aphrodisiac ingredients, but it can all be a tad intimidating — not to mention cheesy.

So, we decided to scratch all that, go back to the very beginning, and wonder about food and Valentine’s Day from perhaps the most divine vantage point of all. Imagine for a moment that every year on this day, mythological gods and goddesses of love gather for a gabfest over a simple but satisfying potluck meal. 

Consider these deities live for (and even embody) pleasure, their offerings would surely be indulgent, including everything from sweet wine to cakes that come from the moon. (Yes, cakes from the MOON! Why not?) While you might think that whipping up food fit for the gods is too hard to achieve at home, we assure you these recipes are doable and only a smidgen involved. Love gods are all about living it up, after all, not busting their butts in the kitchen all day. Read on for all the recipes you’ll need to have your own god-like Valentine’s Day dinner, and prepare to blow some minds (and maybe break some hearts). For more Imagined Dinner Parties, including A Witch's Halloween Feast and Santa's Staff Meal, check out Impatient Foodie. 
Aphrodite (Venus), Goddess Of Love & Beauty: Ambrosia & Aperitivo
No Valentine’s Day dinner would be complete without Aphrodite (AKA Venus), Goddess of Love and Beauty. While her son Eros (you know him as Cupid) is working his big night, Aphrodite gets to kick back and share a special wine that is normally reserved exclusively for the Gods on Mount Olympus, called Ambrosia. Mortals can get a taste by way of supermodel and actress Carole Bouquet’s absolutely delectable and sweet passito wine, Sangue D’Oro. We also imagined that Aphrodite would have brought a platter of traditional Greek finger foods, including herbed olives, spiced honey nuts, and pomegranate. These hand-delivered bites have a way of drawing attention to your mouth. Just sayin'…

Venus' Honey Spiced Nuts
Adapted from a James Beard recipe.

Ingredients
2 cups halved walnuts
2 tbsp honey
1/2 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp ground coriander
Sprinkle of cayenne pepper, to taste
Salt and ground pepper, to taste
Instructions
1. Heat oven to 400°F. Line a baking pan with parchment paper, pour in your walnuts and allow them to toast in the oven for 10 minutes.

2. Meanwhile, in a pan, heat the honey, cumin, and coriander over high heat. Stir frequently and do not allow the honey to start boiling. Once it’s melted, turn the heat off.

3. Once walnuts are toasted, pull them out of the oven, pour on the honey mixture, and stir well to cover all the nuts. Sprinkle with a bit of salt and cayenne pepper.

4. Put the walnuts in the oven for 3 minutes. Once the time is up, remove and stir frequently while the nuts cool.

5. Add in salt and fresh ground pepper to taste. Add more cayenne if you like more spice. Serve. If stored in a cool, dry space, these will keep for 2 to 3 weeks.

Rati, Hindu Goddess Of Love: Curry
As Rati is a Hindu goddess, her offering is a completely vegetarian option for the dinner party. Garlic and onion are usually at the base of curry recipes, but foods offered to (and, in our imaginations, made by) Hindu gods go without because, apparently, alliums act as sexual stimulants and mental suppressants, according to Vedic scriptures and Ayurvedic medicine. Unless you are a Hindu god or close observer of the Hindu faith, a couple of cloves of garlic and a yellow onion can (and should) be added to Rati’s curry recipe. And, um, isn’t the whole point of Valentine’s Day to “sexually stimulate,” anyway?

Rati's Curry
Serves 4 to 5

Ingredients
1 cup basmati rice
3 tbsp ghee
1 1/2 tbsp whole cumin seeds
1 tbsp curry powder
1 1/2 tbsp grated ginger
1 tbsp ground coriander
3/4 tbsp tumeric
3/4 tbsp chili powder (This makes the dish very mildly spicy, so add more if you like heat.)
1 tsp white sugar
2 tbsp tomato paste
2 tomatoes, coarsely chopped
2 cups vegetable broth
2 cups light coconut milk
1 cinnamon stick
Salt and pepper, to taste
1 eggplant, cut into 1-inch cubes
1 bunch broccolini, cut into florets
1 small sweet potato, peeled and cut into 1-inch cubes
1 large carrot, peeled and cut into 1/2-inch thick rounds
1 15 oz can of chickpeas, drained and rinsed
2 handfuls of baby spinach
2 tbsp lime juice
Lime zest
Chopped cilantro, to garnish
Greek yogurt, to garnish

Instructions
1. Be sure to prep and chop all your vegetables first. This will make life a lot easier and the cooking go a lot smoother.

2. Combine 1 cup of rice with 2 1/4 cups of water and bring to a boil. Once boiling, turn down the heat, cover with a tight-fitting lid and allow to cook for about 40 minutes.

3. In a separate pot, melt ghee and add in the cumin seeds, cook until fragrant. Add the chopped eggplant and cook for about 2 minutes. 

4. Add in grated ginger and coarsely chopped tomatoes. Cook for about 1 minute. 

5. Reduce the heat to medium and stir in all your powdered spices (curry powder, tumeric, coriander, and chili powder). Heat for about 30 seconds, until fragrant. Powdered spices can burn easily, so be careful.

6. Stir in sugar and tomato paste; blend together well for about 1 minute.

7. Add in the broth, coconut milk, and cinnamon stick and bring to a boil. Then, add in the carrots, sweet potatoes, and broccolini.

8. Allow the pot to boil and then reduce the heat to medium. Cover and let simmer for 20 to 25 minutes until vegetables are tender.

9. Discard the cinnamon and stir in the chickpeas, spinach, and lime juice and cook until spinach has just wilted. Add salt and pepper to taste.

10. Garnish with cilantro and serve over rice with a dollop of Greek yogurt and lime zest.

Yue Lao, Chinese God Of Marriage & Love: Mooncakes
Yue Lao, Chinese God of Marriage and Love (AKA The Old Man Under The Moon), ties destined couples together with his red silk cord. Once he connects a couple, legend has it, nothing can sever their union. He is said to live on the moon, so, naturally, we couldn’t resist the idea that he would bring Chinese mooncakes to this imaginary dinner party, even if these delicacies are traditionally enjoyed during the Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival. 

We asked Yasmina Jacobs of EatMakeCelebrate to reimagine the mooncakes with red bean paste filling. These snowskin mooncakes are a lighter version of the traditional Chinese dessert. They are beautiful and not too sweet. If you are in NYC and making mooncakes feels a little out of your comfort zone, they are available at several bakeries in Chinatown; they're also available online here. 
Snowskin Mooncakes
If you live near an Asian grocery store you can buy all sorts of delightful pastes to use as fillings. Lotus paste is traditional, and green tea and black sesame are two of Yasmina’s favorites. If you don't have that luxury, you can easily make your own red bean paste. It’s painless, and so delicious we could eat this stuff by the spoonful!

Ingredients
For The Red Bean Filling 
1 cup red beans (Ideally adzuki beans if you can find them.)
1/2 to 1 cup sugar (Adjust the sweetness to your liking.)
1/3 cup solid coconut oil
1 vanilla bean (or 1 tbsp vanilla extract)

For The Mooncake Dough
1 cup glutinous rice flour (If you can find pre-cooked glutinous rice flour use that and skip steps 1 and 2.)
3/4 cup confectioner’s sugar
1/4 cup coconut oil
1/4 cup cold water
2-4 drops rose water (or other flavor/extract) 
2 drops red food coloring 

Instructions
For The Red Bean Filling 
1. Rinse the beans and cover them in cold water. Soak them overnight (or at least 4 hours). Drain the beans and put them in a pot. Add enough water to cover the beans by 3 inches or so.  

2. Bring to a boil and then drop down to a simmer. Simmer the beans for an hour, adding about 1/2 cup of water every 20 minutes to prevent drying out. 

3. After an hour, the beans should be mushy. If they still feel firm, cook for another 20 minutes. Drain the beans. 

4. In a food processor or blender, combine the beans, 1/2 cup sugar, and the seeds from 1 vanilla bean (or vanilla extract). Pulse to combine. Taste the mixture and add more sugar if you'd like it sweeter.

5. Add in the coconut oil and blend to combine. Once the mixture has a paste-like consistency, place it in a sealable container. If you used a vanilla bean, add the empty pod to the paste so it can continue to give off flavor. 

6. Refrigerate for at least 3 hours and up to a week. Discard the vanilla bean when you are ready to make your mooncakes.

For The Mooncake Dough
1.  Glutinous or sweet rice flour needs to be cooked for this recipe, so spread out the flour on a baking sheet. Use a bit more than a cup so you have extra. Bake the flour at 325°F for about 45 minutes. Check on it midway through and stir. The flour will get fragrant and become slightly darker, going from white to a light beige color. 

2. If it doesn’t appear to have changed at all, bake for another 15 to 20 minutes. It’s helpful to keep a pinch or two of the uncooked flour near the oven so you can compare the color. Once the flour is cooked through, take it out of the oven and let it come to room temperature. 

3. In a mixing bowl, combine the rice flour and sugar. Add in the coconut oil, working it into the dry ingredients with your fingers. 

4. In a small bowl or glass, add 2 drops of red food coloring and 3 drops of rose water to very cold water. Feel free to play around with flavors and colors to create a variety of mooncakes! You may not need all the water, so add it one spoonful at a time to the flour, sugar, coconut mixture. Using your hands, mix the ingredients until the dough begins to come together. 

5. Knead the dough for a minute or two. If it feels dry add water as needed, aiming for a soft, malleable consistency — almost like Play-Doh. If the dough feels sticky, cover it in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 20 to 30 minutes.

6. Roll the dough into 10 equal-sized rounds (you may have to adjust the number to accommodate the size of your mooncake press).

7. In between 2 sheets of plastic wrap, roll out one of the rounds into a disc. Place some red bean paste in the center of the dough, which is called snowskin; you want to have roughly matching amounts of filling and exterior. 

8. Fold the snowskin over the filling and roll it between your hands to smooth out any edges. Place into a floured mooncake press to shape it. If you don't have a press, take your mooncake ball and gently press down to flatten the top and bottom, then use a toothpick, fork, or mold to create a pattern or shape. Refrigerate your completed mooncakes for at least one day to set them before you eat them.      Freya, Icelandic Goddess Of Love, Magic, & Divination: Apple Tarts
You may be thinking “Um, hello, apples are so not Valentine’s Day,” and we would agree. But, unlike many other deities, Norse gods are subject to aging and can only retain their youth by eating magic apples from the Goddess Idun. So, we imagined that Freya rode her chariot of cats over to Idun’s, picked up some of the magic fruits, and baked these gorgeous apple rose tartlets. Again, we asked Yasmina of EatMakeCelebrate to imagine what these magic apples would be, and, yes, they are surprisingly easy to make at home.

Freya's Rose Apple Tarts
Makes 1 large tart or 4 individual tartlets.

Ingredients
For The Pie Dough
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp sugar
1 stick of butter (cut into cubes)
1/3 to 1/4 cup apple cider or juice

For The Pie Filling
2 apples 
1 tbsp vanilla extract
3 tbsp sugar
Juice and zest of 1 blood orange
Juice of half a lemon

Instructions
For The Pie Dough
1. In a food processor, combine flour, salt, and sugar. Add the butter and pulse a few times until incorporated.  

2. Slowly add in the juice. You may not need all of it so start with half and drizzle in a bit more if needed. The dough should come together but it will still be crumbly.

3. Place the dough onto plastic wrap and form it into a disc. Wrap it well and refrigerate overnight.

For The Pie Filling
1. Preheat the oven to 350°F.

2. Roll out the chilled dough and place it into the pie pans. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes. You want to make sure the bottom is set but that the dough is not yet browned.

3. In a medium bowl, combine the sugar, vanilla, lemon juice, and blood orange juice.4. Peel 1 apple. You will be using the peel, so peel carefully. Thinly slice both apples.

5. Place the peel and apple slices in the sugar and juice mixture. The blood orange will add flavor, color, and make the apples more vibrant.

6. Assemble the pie by rolling 1/4 of the apple peel into a bud, then add in the apple slices around it, building a rose as you work your way to the exterior of the pie crust.

7. Pour any leftover sugar-juice mixture over the pies before baking them. Bake at 350°F for 20 minutes until the pastry is golden.

Erzulie-Freda, Voodoo Spirit Of Love: Coconut Rice Pudding
Erzulie-Freda is so gorgeous and bewitching that she has three husbands, which is why she wears three beautiful rings. She is also known as one of the most generous goddesses and loves everything luxurious and decadent. As she adores sweet rice (Who doesn’t?) and has Haitian roots, we imagined she would bring a luscious coconut pudding, complimented with aphrodisiac vanilla to really get those sparks flying.

Coconut Rice Pudding

Ingredients
1 cup arborio rice
1 13.5 oz can coconut milk
1 16 oz bottle of raw coconut water (We like Harmless Harvest brand.)
1/4 cup sugar
1 whole vanilla bean
Tiny pinch of salt
1/4 tsp of ground cinnamon (+ some for dusting)
1 tsp of ground ginger

Instructions
1. Slice open your vanilla bean and use the pointy edge of your knife to scrape out the seeds in the pod. Set aside.

2. Put canned coconut milk, coconut water, and sugar in a pot over heat, stir, and let sugar dissolve.

3. Add and stir in the vanilla seeds, 1 cup Arborio rice, and a pinch of salt.

4. Bring the heat down to simmer, cover, and allow to cook for about 20 to 25 minutes until rice is cooked and most of the liquid is absorbed.

5. Once rice is cooked, add in the ground cinnamon and ground ginger and stir well to mix. Serve warm or cold, dusted with a tiny sprinkle of cinnamon.

Qetesh, Ancient Egypitan Goddess Of Sacred Ecstacy & Sexual Pleasure: Kebabs
While civilians in ancient Egypt subsisted on a mostly vegetarian diet, Egyptian gods were offered hearty meals rich with beef, goose, duck, and pork three times a day. In fact (a little forensic history for ya!) carbon dating shows that many ancient Egyptian priests died from coronary heart disease, likely due to the fact that they ate these rich foods after ritual offerings…often.

Because she clearly has enough to go around, we imagined that Qetesh would bring a beef kebab covered in traditional dukkah spices for the Gods' Valentine’s Dinner. And, while dukkah might sound super-fancy and exotic, fear not — the spices in dukkah can be easily found at any grocery store. Throw ‘em together and the results are divine.

Qetesh's Kebab
Makes 2 

Ingredients
0.85 lbs of sirloin tips (cut into about 1 to 1 1/2-inch cubes)
1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
2 garlic cloves, chopped
1/2 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp coriander
Salt and black pepper
1/4 cup toasted sesame seeds
Bamboo (or metal) skewers

Instructions
1. If you are using bamboo skewers, the very first step is to be sure that you soak them in a glass of water for a few hours, so that they don’t burn when you cook the beef.

2. Combine olive oil, garlic, cumin, coriander, and a pinch of salt; let beef marinate in the fridge in this mixture for an hour or up to 5 hours.

3. Remove the beef from the marinade and grill over a BBQ, or you can also cook them in a 375°F oven for 20 minutes, rotating once at the 10-minute mark. 20 minutes will produce a rare steak, so increase time if you prefer yours more thoroughly cooked. Don’t forget to turn them every 10 minutes!4. While beef is cooking, gently toast the sesame seeds until they are golden brown. When beef is done, sprinkle seeds over entire kebab and serve immediately.
Special thanks to: Carole Bouquet, Yasmina Jacobs, Autumn Adeigbo, Jenel Stevens, and Sujata Thomas.


Like what you see?How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

The Fat Jew's Secret To Next-Level Poutine

Next-Level Bacon To Take Your Breakfast To New Heights

Take Your Guacamole To The Next Level With These 2 Key Ingredients

Компания не собирается возвращать деньги за абонентскую плату

Читать дальше...

baehamas:

thisiselliz:

What if god was one of us

that sign in the back says meme aids

nyctaeus:

Trevor Paglen, ‘Drone Vision’, 2010

Juno and any other subsequent winter storms are nothing to Anya Lyagoshina. She's from Siberia; she's used to it. "I loved it when it was cold," she says, "because they'd cancel school, and we'd just stay inside all day." Snow days are nice and all, but staying out of the sun can make people...cagey. Or pale at the very least. Anya has a solution for this, too: Drawn-on freckles.

To be fair, Anya's face already has a head start with a smattering of very cute specks. "I hated my freckles in school," she says. "People around me didn’t have freckles—I got them from my mom—so I would use lemon juice and things to try and bleach them out. I was 12! Obviously it didn’t work, so I stopped. Now at the shoots, they’ll add more. So they’ll do skin and eyebrows and more freckles with a eye or lip pencil that’s the same tone as my freckles."

Sounds like instant summer to us, so we handed her the MAC Veluxe Brow Liner in Brunette and demanded (nicely) a tutorial. With the dull-ish pencil, she dotted her face with a little swivel action—over her nose and on the apples of her cheeks—and patted down the color gently with her fingers. Swivel, swivel, swivel. Pat, pat, pat...until desired coverage is reached. Now your face should match your sunny disposition, despite the forecast.

Anya Lyagoshina (The Society) in YSL Volupte Sheer Candy Glossy Balm in 01 Lush Coconut, MAC Veluxe Brow Liner in Brunette, Kjaer Weis Mascara in Black, Topshop Cheek Jelly in Museum. Photographed by Tom Newton.

The post Anya Lyagoshina’s Fake Freckles appeared first on Into The Gloss.

954mm:

where can i buy this?

Пока — у владельцев Nexus 5

Читать дальше...

"I want to be in action movies. I want to kick a lot of ass. But not in an overly sexualized way."

genderoftheday:

Today’s Gender of the day is: We are a website

femme-fatiguee:

ftcreature:

Fried Egg Jellyfish Are Kind of Adorable – & That’s No Yolk.

There are two species that hold the whimsical title of “Fried Egg Jellyfish”: Phacellophora camtschatica and Cotylorhiza tuberculata though the two are quite different from each other in all aspects beside appearance.

Phacellophora camtschatica is a huge jelly that prefers colder waters. It’s bell can reach up to 2 ft across and its dozens of tentacles reach over 20 ft long! If you don’t think this floating egg creature looks very menacing, you’d be right. It has a very weak sting and many small crustaceans take advantage of the jelly by riding on its bell (breakfast to go…?) while snatching up extra food.

Cotylorhiza tuberculata is a much smaller jellyfish that hangs out in warmer waters. It only reaches about 35 cm in diameter, so don’t go for this Fried Egg Jelly if you want a big breakfast. Unlike most jellyfish, C. tuberculata can swim on its own, without relying on the currents for movement. It’s sting (if you can even call it that) is so feeble that it has very little to no effect on humans at all. I mean, it does look like a breakfast food, after all… how powerful could it be? 

crumb