Here’s the thing about JUPITER ASCENDING, literally the greatest movie ever made. Is it “good,” or is it, more probably, garbage? I really don’t have the capacity to say. I’m not Saint Roger Ebert, olav hasholem, over here. I took one film class and it was about whether real stuff is, like, real, or is there even such a thing as, like, really real, man, you know?? (There isn’t. I got an A.) I’m not here to tell you if it is good. I am only a woman with eyes and ears and joy centers in my brain. Here is what I will tell you. Look at my icon. As daeontherun so rightly pointed out, my icon was both of our faces for the ENTIRE DURATION of this movie.
Do you need to know any more than that? Do you need to know any more than that you will be flooded with pure, innocent delight for two hours? Here is my feeling about this movie: it is your garbage. It is garbage for you. “Is this how straight dudes feel at the movies all the time????” I hissed at daeontherun SEVERAL times during this movie. “Like someone carefully noted down your early pubescent fantasies and then threw 100 MILLION DOLLARS at them?“
I would describe this feeling as, like, a combination of arousal, joy, and fond knowing chagrin. “Oh you,” you find yourself thinking at Jupiter Ascending as shirtless Channing Tatum gruffly but torturedly checks his weaponry, while Sean Bean voiceover rumbles in his beautiful Northern growl about how tortured and loyal shirtless Channing Tatum is and how he needs his PACK. Ten seconds before this, Channing Tatum and Sean Bean were sexily punching each other while yelling about their emotions. “You know what I like, you crazy beautiful bastard,” you say to Jupiter Ascending, shaking your head fondly. Mila Kunis wakes up in a beautiful dress, blinking slowly with her long gorgeous lashes. “Feel my skin,” naked Tuppence Middleton purrs at her [REDACTED 4 SPOILERS]’s clone, Mila Kunis, gently caressing her bare arm. Gugu Mbatha-Raw stands over Channing Tatum and sexily taunts him. There is a 20 minute Terry-Gilliam-evoking sequence about [REDACTED 4 SPOILERS BUT TRUST ME THAT IT’S AMAZING]. Eddie Redmayne flutters an elegant hand around while hoarsely gasping out sociopathic, vaguely incestuous promises in a fucking SEQUIN TITS OUT DRESSING GOWN with ARM WINGS in his EVIL SPACE CATHEDRAL THRONE ROOM!!!! “DO U LIKE DIS?“ Jupiter Ascending asks, glancing shyly at you. “I MAKED IT.” “Of course I like it,” you say, overcome by joy and wonder, kissing Jupiter Ascending on the forehead. “I’ve never liked anything this much, and I love you more than anyone in the whole world.” I don’t want to be controversial, but if I had to choose between Jupiter Ascending and Citizen Kane I would immediately travel back in time, murder Orson Welles, and walk away whistling. I would cheerfully burn the entire Criterion Collection to the ground for this movie. Go see Jupiter Ascending. You’re welcome.
i used to get self-conscious over the smallest things but friends let me tell you that today i had to smuggle a furious 8ft python onto the bus during the school rush and not a single person noticed. not one. if people don’t care enough to notice a shopping bag writhing and seething with barely-contained reptilian hatred then i promise you that no-one will pay any attention to that blemish you’re fretting about or how you’ve done your hair
Screenshotted this thread because you all need to see it.
(Cis LGB, I’m expecting you to reblog this.)
Little Light:
Let us assume that
our opponents are competent and have been studying our defenses for
some time, looking for vulnerabilities to exploit. They put out
little feints and test attacks, seeing who will defend who, who can
be divided off from the group, and so on. We’ve seen this. All of
these questions they need answers to: will Jews defend Muslims? Will
Asians support Black struggle? Where can the wedges be put in? The
Alt-Right 4Chan types are always talking about observing and
infiltrating online anti-oppression communities for intel and laughs.
All these little tests. What if they make up a pretend pedophilia
orientation? Will people defend it? Will they tight and divide over
it?
One vulnerability
they’ve consistently turned up is transmisogyny. Lots of groups can
be induced to vilify or wish away trans women. Useful! Remember a
little while ago when Milo put out that petition? “Remove the T
from LGBT”? They watched who signed and promoted that thing. It
was couched in anti-oppression boilerplate. And look! Cis gay men
promoted it. Some feminists and womanists promoted it. Useful intel.
They learned helpful info there: many cis LGB people were raring to
turn on trans people. They’d even say it was for their own
protection. They counted up who signed on, who elaborated on it, who
was excited about it. I’m looking at you, TERFs and enablers, in
particular. (They even discovered that some fanatical anti-trans
feminists would happily join forces with homophobic Christians, to
hurt trans women.) Nobody thought that T-out-of-LGBT petition was
going to DO anything. There’s nobody who DECIDES that. It was a
solidarity test balloon. So these laughing nihilists went
looking—along many lines–for cracks in solidarity, joints in the
armor, people who could be attacked 1st.
Why do I point this
out now? Because this week the rumor mill floated a general
anti-LGBTQ EO or bill was coming, & they gauged opposition.
Supposedly they decided that opposition to this anti-LGBTQ
legislation would be too much for now, and put it in the not-yet
column. And yet: Now the word is they’re paring down to a
specifically anti-trans EO. One focused on legal documents, probably
framed as for nat'l security. (After all, mismatched documents are
fraud, right? Terrorists could be using fake ID. And there’s all that
voter fraud to address. Right?)
Previous Intel
operations (& polls) have told them that the majority of the
country has turned to support LGB rights—but NOT trans rights. They
know from watching our intra-movement arguments online that there’s a
long history of cis LGB folks throwing trans folks under the bus.
They have tested to see if cis LGB people will readily abandon trans
people to save themselves. (Yes.) If they’ll outright attack us.
(Yes.) They’ve tested if there are blocs w/in the cis LGB community
so dedicated to hurting trans people that they’ll ally wtthe right
wing. (Yes.) They’ve watched some of these anti-trans fanatics STILL
obsessing over eradicating us, prioritizing that, even while the
country is on fire. Lo and behold: the regime floats anti-LGBTQ
legislation, withdraws it for now. Now they’re floating anti-trans
legislation. Right on time.
Their research
indicates that the general public will happily let trans people burn
first as expendable. That cis LGB people will, too. The plan? To
remove our ability to get legal ID documents. There goes voting,
travel, med. care, having an answer to “your papers, please.”
That and support for keeping us out of public bathrooms, away from
schools, away from gendered spaces, out of jobs and housing. Public
life.
I’m saying this
because they have good reason to believe they’re right that they can
come for us and no one will stop them. Their little intel operations
indicate that not only will no one stop them hurting trans people,
many will even help. Even cis LGB people. I’m saying this especially
for everyone who gave them reason to believe this. Who looked the
other way when trans lives were on the line.
When they come for
us. (They will come for us. They are about to come for us.) Prove
them wrong. Prove them wrong. Prove them wrong. Please.
Remember that the
specter of trans women was already a useful wedge issue &
get-out-the-vote driver in the 2016 campaign. There’s precedent. We
will be used as a weapon and a vulnerability against the rest of you
for as long as our opponents know we won’t be protected by the Left.
One of our lessons from fighting the anti-Muslim E0s in the last week
is this: we have to deny them every victory. Each one counts.
Whatever we teach them about who we will leave behind will be used to
hurt all of us. We have to show them we will abandon no one. not ever
Now is a time when it is clear & stark: solidarity saves us.
Together, we outnumber them. Together, we can win. Let us not be
broken apart. All of you responding with pledges to have our backs:
thank you. Bring your friends on board. As Octavia Butler said: So be
it. See to it.
During her weekly press conference at Capitol Hill on Thursday, Nancy Pelosi said aloud what everyone’s been shouting from Twitter’s rooftop for ages: Stephen Bannon is a “white supremacist.” She said it twice.
Worst Case vs. Best Case Scenarios by Karina Farek.
This is a great joke, but it’s also a wonderful strategy for reducing anxiety that I learned about in therapy. If you’re ever nervous about something, just ask yourself: what’s the best thing that can happen? What’s the worst thing? What will most likely happen?
Yeah mt Everest wasn’t discovered till 1856 but im sure the fucking mountain still existed
And much like Mt Everest, the people who lived on it for like all of human history damn well knew it was there even if they names they had for it are apparently less valid than the one an Educated White Man put on it.
18 year old American artist Lily Havesh designs complicated structures only to destroy them later with a touch of a finger. This domino artist already has over 250 million total YouTube views and more than 1,000,000 subscribers, making her the most subscribed dominoist on the entire web. It’s not uncommon for her to spend weeks on a single project (for example, one meticulous design took her 15 days and 30,000 dominoes). However, whatever time she invests pays off when all the pieces come crashing down in an orderly fashion.
Conservatives have so much fucking nerve talking about how “ENVIRONMENTAL REGULATIONS ARE OUT OF CONTROL” when absolutely no-one feels inconvenienced by them or has ever even encountered them in their personal lives unless they’re the CEO’s of a megaconglomerate bitter that they couldn’t rip up a national park and buy like their fifth house boat
Yeah, it’s literally the Kochs saying “It’s so UNFAIR that when the oil pipelines we own but don’t maintain bust and flood a town with toxic sludge, that WE have to pay to fix it.” and “An employee we forced to clean chemical storage tanks without the proper gear for 15 years developed cancer, and they’re allowed to sue us over it? TYRANNY!!”
Empirical Republican hatred of women/children through GOP legislation is a millions times bigger, and a millions times more cruel, than their hollow pro-life rhetoric claims to achieve.
