Leahgates

This animated short tells the story of a young trans girl who other people won’t let be a girl, and her journey to living on her own terms. A warning that it’s a tear jerker – Ellie Krnich’s picture book animation style brings me right back to childhood. The short is a personal, intimate story that I and a lot of other folks can relate to. Ellie’s bio and a transcript are after the jump.

Ellie Krnich is a 34 year old transitioned queer Femme currently making her home in the East Bay of Northern California, running a small little TV station in Berkeley. Truth Takes Time marks Ellie’s first venture into animation filmmaking. She just finished her degree in character animation at Animation Mentor and likes to eat frozen blueberry muffins in her free time.

 

Transcript:

MOTHER: ALEXANDER NICHOLAS!!!!
What the HELL?
Are you wearing your cousin’s clothes?
Your father would be so ANGRY for
what you’ve done. If he ever found out….
BOYS ONLY WEAR BOY’S CLOTHES.

TITLE OF FILM: TRUTH TAKES TIME

00:01:32 –> 00:01:34
ALLIE: It seems like every time I look in
the mirror lately…
… I can’t even see myself anymore.
I mean – it’s what everybody else
can see…
… but it’s not the real me.
Some days I think I could keep
living like this.
Hiding isn’t so bad, is it?
At least it’s safe.
But then I get reminded…

Like when I’m out with my friends,
there’s always this segregation between us.
It’s always subtle, but never to me.

DUDE: I don’t care what anyone says,
I love my ball. I love it man, I love my ball!

ALLIE: And the guys always try to talk to
me about things they think I’d be
interested in… Because they are.

DUDE: Hey I’m from LA! Kobe man!
Kobe all the WAY!

ALLIE: And no matter how much I try to listen
and be present for my friends, I just can’t.

DUDE: If you’d get rid of that gut, you should
play some more basketball.

ALLIE: I’m too busy wishing I was on the other
side of the room.

DUDE: Oh look at that right there!
She wants me! She is SO HOT.

ALLIE: … Where I know I belong.

ALLIE: There are these times when I can push all of this
gender bullshit out of my head.
And I actually… give myself a chance to just be.

[laughter begins]

ALLIE: But people just look at me funny.
Even though other girls my age can act the
same way without question,
I get stared down as if I just committed a crime!
And even though I should know better
than to care,
I can’t let it go…..

There’s no place safe for me.

So I stand, in limbo, waiting.
Waiting for nothing.

[voices of distrust and self-hatred]

ALLIE:
I can’t express myself the way I want to.
I can’t get others to see me the way I want to.
I can’t, I can’t!
I CAN’T!
My whole life is full of CAN NOT and DO NOTS.
Nothing ever changes.
I’m tired of having to accept being invisible.
I just want to be happy.
I know people will never stop
judging me based on how I look.
But I refuse to spend the rest of my
life living like this.
I will not become the old man looking
back at my life with disgust,
regretting every day that I pretended to be
somebody that I’m not.
Because it was safe. And convenient.
I’m ready for the next step.
I’m ready to walk through the
looking glass.

And as they say…

Here we go…

00:07:02 –> 00:07:04
Poppa…
Today I filed for a name change.
It’s not like.. I mean.
Things are just getting to this point that…
Using my birth name is getting confusing. For everybody.
Including me.

Poppa? Are you okay?

00:07:34 –> 00:07:37
POPPA: Ever since you told me about everything,
There are these nights that I just…
The same questions keep popping up into my head.
What did I do wrong?

ALLIE: Poppa – no…

POPPA: Was I around enough? Was she around enough?
I never wanted —
I tried to make it work with her.
And when it didn’t, I tried to be both.
Maybe it wasn’t en—

ALLIE: NO, Poppa. No.
None of this is your fault.

POPPA: How can you be sure?

ALLIE: I’ve spent the last 16 years of my life wondering everyday why I am the way I am.
And I look back at her. And then you –
The unbelievable you…

What if mom hadn’t hurt me that one fateful day?
What if she had been around more?
What if I hadn’t been so afraid to tell you it all so long ago?

00:08:38 –> 00:08:41
YOUNGER POPPA: Alex, what’s wrong?

ALLIE: I could ask a million what if’s, but there will never be any answers.
Not for this.

There is only right now.

For the first time in my life, I’m happy.
Which is all you ever wanted for me in the first place, right?

00:09:30 –> 00:09:37
ALLIE: People say you should always be yourself.
But hardly anybody lives up to that.
I don’t want to live my life being scared.

BARISTA: Here you go miss.

ALLIE: Not like so many others…

ALLIE TO HERSELF: Someday it’s going to work out. I promise.

EMMA: Allie? Are you ready?

ALLIE: I’ve always been ready.
The truth just takes a little time…

 

Lullabye, don’t you cry, hear the sweet singing tough guy
Whiny puppehs o’er spread, asplodey goes our head.
Lay thee down, don’t protest, (but I’m nooot tie-tie yet!)
Lay thee down, don’t you fret, start the honk-shu quintet.

“I’m trying to figure out a way to play this on a continuous loop on my sleep machine.” -Sasha’s Mum, long time CO Peep!

Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: Pups, Sleppy

franklindbulldog:

Hi everybody!

quirkyday:

We had an amazing wedding reception last night.  Sorry we couldn’t stream it, but there was no wifi at the venue.

Winston is a lively, spirited puppy who loves exploring his new city, Washington, D.C. He loves peanut butter kongs, trips to the local dog park, and hates balloons. Living with two journalists, Winston is a total newshound.

I can pretty much nail the colors, but I kind of have a problem with bicycles. Can you wear something with sailboats, maybe? Or how about skateboards?

Via Ray Bouknight.

Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: Matchingks, Unusual Animals

Hopping leaf to leaf
It’s not a bad way to live
For a grasshopper.

Spotted on The Animal Blog Tumblr. Photo by Bernie Lampert.

Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: Friday Haiku

And one smooch.

Fave Frames:

Two sloth bear cubs made their public debut 2 weeks ago at the CZSBrookfieldZoo, sent in to CO by Vena C.! (and is that Eric Johnson on guitar?)

Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: Bears

Over 400 years ago a pug named Pompey, saved the life of his owner, William the Prince of Orange. It was near the battlefront in the Dutch struggle against the Spanish when Pompey, sleeping at the prince’s feet, foiled a midnight attack against the prince and saved his life. Soon after, the Pug became the official dog of the Netherlands House of Orange and the Royal Monarchy of the Netherlands.

“I submit for your enjoyment Miss Daisy and Mr. Poe. Miss Daisy is using Mr. Poe as her pillow.” -Shannon M.

Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: Pups

The great defender of evil, Super Bacon is quite the leaper. Along with his friends, Trog the mastiff, Nikki the frenchie and Bulah the bloodhound, they fight doggie crime daily in south Florida!

To welcome a delegation of African leaders to Japan, the Yokohama Hakkeijima Sea Paradise park held a parade of penguins of African origin dressed in colorful tunics. So far, there’s no word if they’ll be coming to America.

Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: Birds, What Is This I Don't Even

This is Hamilton The Hipster Cat. Quoting SFGate.com: “He is….the most interesting cat in the world.”

Hamilton was having a hard time getting adopted at the Humane Society Silicon Valley, because he was a bit on the nervous side.

His new hoomin Jay S. saw something others didn’t, and now Hamilton is rockin’ the Interwebs. You know, Instagram, Facebook, the usual!

Photos from Ham’s Instagramster.

Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: Cats

When life seems hopelessly…er, hopeless, that’s about all there is left to do.

The Sad Cat sequel, from zefrank1.

Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: dogs

May 9, Oakland Zoo, CA. Ginger the River Otter gave birth to three baby boy otters.

They are named Kohana (Sioux for swift),

Hinto (Dakota for blue)

and Shilah (Navajo for brother).

Not sure how Ginger got her name, but she might be named after Ginger Rogers.

This is Ginger’s third litter.

In 2011 Ginger gave birth to a boy and girl, Tallulah and Ahanu. Ginger had a second litter in 2012.

Come on in! The otter’s great!

MercuryNews.com, Photos by Jane Tyska/Bay Area News Group.

Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: Otters, Unusual Animals

How about a little XYZ Affair?


President Booty reporting for duty


Virginia is for lovers mmm


Raid my treasury


Ratify /this/


umff

publius-esquire:

Founding Father Pin-Ups, 2nd Ed.: Tread on Me

‘What’s your biggest secret?’ ‘We all have a huge crush on freedom! (and syphilis.  we all have syphilis.)

melanist:

WANT.

In fact, they are kind of paying for citizens hospital care. The New York Times reports:

“The study, led by researchers at Harvard Medical School, measured immigrants’ contributions to the part of Medicare that pays for hospital care, a trust fund that accounts for nearly half of the federal program’s revenue. It found that immigrants generated surpluses totaling $115 billion from 2002 to 2009. In comparison, the American-born population incurred a deficit of $28 billion over the same period.”

Why is this? Most people are arguing that immigrants tend to be young and working age, and therefore contribute more to taxes than the older citizen population. I would also argue that it’s because immigrants use medical services much less. Recently arrived immigrants tend to be healthier than native-born Americans, and immigrants often avoid going to the hospital at all for fear of interacting with an institution that has a history of deporting them. Instead, they might rely on kinship networks to get the care that they need. According to the  Times, ”immigrants’ medical costs were 14 percent to 20 percent less than those of native-born Americans, even after controlling for other factors like emergency room visits and insurance coverage, which fewer immigrants have.”

Overall, this report is very timely, considering that Republicans are trying to include provisions in the immigration reform bill that would deport immigrants who do not pay hospital fees. The proposed reform bill also includes a 15-year wait for immigrants applying for citizenship to receive access to affordable health care. Considering that immigrants may be contributing more to government health care programs than taking from them, they should be given equal access to these life-saving services.

If you agree, hop over to the National Latina Institute for Reproductive Health and sign their petition. Once you’re done, tweet #4immigrantwomen on why you believe that #15years is too long to wait!

ionlyweardresses:

Hi Alpha,

Remember when girl hooman was training for her first marathon and she got a jogging stroller so she wouldn’t have to leave me alone too much but she never carried her cell phone and always felt bad she missed you downtown? 

I do.

Nigel Bear (the baby puppy years)

CORNELL (US) — Researchers have sequenced the genomes of 29 strains of a fungus that is responsible for the mass killing of amphibians around the world.

The fungus, Batrachochytrium dendrobatidis (Bd), is older than previously thought—and may have recently spread through global wildlife trade to new locations where amphibians have no immunity, a new study reports.

STANFORD (US) — Calls to lift protections for the Hawaiian green sea turtle may be premature, experts warn.

Although the number of Hawaiian green sea turtles has increased since 1978 when the species was listed under the US Endangered Species Act, the population may still be only a fraction of historic levels, the research shows.

my otp