Shared posts

08 Mar 13:21

Breaking: They aren’t “regressing.” They’re kids in a blown-up world.

by Janelle Hanchett

“Kids have regressed in innumerable ways since the pandemic began. Lately, we’ve been noticing that our kids (and our friends’ kids) don’t want to be left alone in a room. Codependency? Maybe. Irrational fear? Totally possible. Have you experienced this with your own kids (who should be “over” this stage in their lives) and if so, have you handled it with any success?”

-Huffington Post Parents on Facebook

Wow. This is absolutely rich coming from a bunch of people who bought all the flour and yeast in a five-mile radius within two weeks of the pandemic so they could obsessively bake their own bread for no apparent reason. We’re three seconds from grinding our own wheat as if it were 1830, nobody knows why, but we’re all on board because it feels right, so fuck it. This may be the end. “Irrational fear?” Nah, totally normal adult pandemic response.

The well-adjusted, non-regressing contingent of society is hoarding fourteen packs of toilet paper for a family of four as if water doesn’t exist but our kids are “codependent” because they want more hugs while everyone talks about disease, dying, and trying not to kill grandma.

Within a month we’re pouring 2pm cocktails, Tiger King, and middle-aged TikTok into the emotional void of our lives but find it concerning that our kids want to sleep on our floor and don’t seem too interested in Zoom math.

Truly cannot imagine why a child would want to find some comfort in their parents, one of the few things that have (sort of) remained the same after being cut off from every other source of routine, stability, and comfort in their lives.

How truly fucking odd.

Let’s be concerned.

My social media feeds are full of articles about how brain fog, inability to concentrate, and anxiety are totally normal–we even refer to it as “pandemic brain”–but apparently we can’t figure out why the hell our two-year-old isn’t on board with potty training.

What is it with our need to frame our children’s natural, reasonable responses as some sort of pathology? First of all, fuck anyone adding one more thing to our pandemic-worry list of bullshit. Fuck them secondly for a disingenuous framing of a non-problem as a “problem” so we can click on their articles that will then solve it for us.

To be clear, ASKING FOR MORE HUGS IS MY ACTUAL MENTAL HEALTH GOAL.

I yearn for the day when rather than turn to carbs or my phone to remove my brain or find myself yelling at a family member for existing, I turn to that family and say, “Can we snuggle? I’m scared.”

Oh, god. A shudder went up my body just thinking about saying those words with my actual mouth, letting people know that I’m a human being with actual needs who relies on people around her. As if I am, in fact, vulnerable, and cannot always find the strength within myself to power through to a better day, which I also suspect will never come.

Alright, I’m being hyperbolic, but am I?

Incidentally, HuffPost published an article a couple of weeks after their bullshit post letting parents know that this “regression” is normal. Because of course it fucking is. But they had to, first, lay the foundation of “worry,” rile us up just enough that we start wondering what’s weird or not weird or if our kids are “codependent” as our families navigate a once-in-100-year pandemic.

Look, my kids are in a country where they’re learning a second language, and they’re now both behind in reading. They were pulled out for three months of the language immersion school they were in, and then they lost months of regular Dutch school.  Zoom calls aren’t the same. They are squarely behind in their reading of Dutch.

But it’s okay. What the hell else is going to happen? What else can I expect? Aren’t we all given a bit of a Free Pass to Loser at this point? I know like three adults who claim to be functioning at full capacity and judging from their Facebook feeds I’m pretty sure two of them are lying.

How can we excuse and accept just about every iteration of physical, mental, and emotional deterioration among adults yet somehow expect kids to “keep on their studies,” continue unabated in their quest for independence, and stand proud and alone as if nothing has happened?

 

This is why I’ve always been skeptical about what they (the media, “experts”) say about raising kids. They pathologize our children so they can sell us shit to fix what they invented. They create “solutions” for problems that are often created by societal systems that do not allow us to be parents in a “normal” way, which varies by culture anyway and nobody can really define. See, for example, no paid federal maternity leave and the “need” for sleep training, weaning, etc.

I am not knocking sleep training—well, I’m definitely knocking some forms of sleep training–or weaning. What I’m knocking is the idea that we need to adopt their “tried and true” methods of parenting, which we can access for $19.99 on Amazon, that just happen to align perfectly with the patriarchal, capitalist way of being. Or a lot of clicks for them.

I’m sure it’s mere coincidence.

I believe, generally speaking, that we have at least some intuitive capacity to raise the kids our bodies produce. The alternative seems like a rather serious evolutionary error. Of course, judging from that gold Trump statue, clearly there are some serious evolutionary errors.

No but seriously, imagine being an animal that birthed a matching baby animal and was then like I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FEED THIS FUCKING THING. We’d have been gone eons ago. I highly doubt cavewomen were sitting there contemplating how often they should nurse their young, or whether or not they should carry the fucker.

“Honey,” she asks, “Should I put this thing down to not spoil it? What does your mother say? IS THERE A WALL PAINTING EXPLAINING HOW MUCH HOLDING IS TOO MUCH HOLDING?”

The idea that I need books and essays and “experts” to guide me in providing every step of basic care to my offspring—including hug quantity during a pandemic–strikes me as ridiculous.

Yes, I needed my mom to help me learn to breastfeed my babies. Yes, I asked my midwives a million questions and my friends and mother even more as my kids grew. No, I do not need you to tell me that it’s normal that my kid wants to sit on my lap while the world blows up.

Can’t we trust ourselves a bit? Our kids? Our families? Have we grown so disconnected from our children and their humanity, and our ability to respond to that humanity, that we see their need for extra closeness during an apparent existential crisis as “a potential cause for worry?”

It’s sad, and it’s nonsense, and if there’s ever a time when we can just settle into giving these little humans extra time and affection, trusting that they probably know what we all need better than their Tiger-King-sourdough parents, goddamn it’s now.

And isn’t it beautiful that we can still do that for our kids. We can just be there, and it can be enough. Someday, it won’t be. Someday, they won’t even ask. Someday, they’ll be the adult staring at the wall, phone in hand, looking at a child brave and clear enough to say, “Hey, Mama? Can I sit with you? I haven’t touched your body all day.”

My 6-year-old said that to me the other day. I took a picture to remember our shared regression. And how to be a human.

The post Breaking: They aren’t “regressing.” They’re kids in a blown-up world. appeared first on renegade mothering.

01 Feb 20:28

Soda Sugar Comparisons

The key is portion control, which is why I've switched to eating smaller cans of frosting instead of full bottles.
07 Apr 18:51

Help Name Zoo Brno’s Polar Bear Cub

by Andrew Bleiman

1_ZooBrnoPolarBearGirl_o

It’s a girl! …The Polar Bear cub, born to mom Cora at Zoo Brno, had her first veterinarian exam, and staff confirmed the sex. The feisty female was born at the end of November 2015.

The cub is now almost five months old, and the Zoo is ready to give her a name. Fans can offer suggestions, until April 10, via the Zoo’s facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/zoo.brno/

The winning name will be announced, and the cub “Baptized”, on April 16!

2_ZooBrnoPolarBearGirl_o

3_ZooBrnoPolarBearGirl_o

4_ZooBrnoPolarBearGirl_oPhoto Credits: Zoo Brno

 

Zoo Brno keepers had a watchful eye on the new family, after the cub’s birth, via a nesting box cam. Staff had also been working on getting Cora accustomed to necessary health checks, which would enable a successful inspection of the cub.

(ZooBorns shared news, photos, and video of the cub’s birth in early March: "Zoo Brno’s Polar Bear Cub Sticks Close to Mom".)

Polar Bears are native to the circumpolar north, including the United States (Alaska), Canada, Russia, Norway and Denmark (Greenland). They are at the top of the Arctic food chain and primarily eat seals.

Populations are declining due to the disappearance of sea ice, and experts estimate that only 20,000-25,000 Polar Bears are left in the wild. Some scientists believe if the warming trend continues, two-thirds of the Polar Bear population could disappear by the year 2050. They are currently classified as "Vulnerable" on the IUCN Red List.

5_ZooBrnoPolarBearGirl_o

6_ZooBrnoPolarBearGirl_o

7_ZooBrnoPolarBearGirl_o

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21 Jan 20:14

Quadcopter

I always have to turn off nature documentaries when they show these scenes.
03 Nov 02:17

Low points in dieting

by christiann

low points in dieting

Sad and entirely autobiographical. Originally appeared in Cosmopolitan.

26 Apr 22:02

Don’t quote me on that.

by Kerry

Writes our anonymous submitter: “After a year of passive-aggressive and straight-up rude behavior, my roommate left me this card to sum up just how wonderful of a person she is. Safe to say we won’t be bunking together again next year?”

'Thank you' from the bottom of my heart

related: Oh, gaufre yourself.

15 Feb 02:32

Tell That to Israel

funny-web-comics-tell-that-to-israel

Submitted by: (via Bing)

27 Jan 18:53

There's Always Room For a Dog

dogs seats web comics - 8428301824

Submitted by:

Tagged: dogs , seats , web comics
11 Aug 13:34

Seafood Diet

Fred see’s food and he eats it. 

08 Aug 13:29

The Dark Side About Shoes

03 May 05:32

It's Time to Slow Jam Saturday Morning With This Jazzy Version of the "Duck Tales" Theme Song

18 Apr 12:09

Free Speech

I can't remember where I heard this, but someone once said that defending a position by citing free speech is sort of the ultimate concession; you're saying that the most compelling thing you can say for your position is that it's not literally illegal to express.
09 Apr 19:49

Best Alarm Clock Ever

09 Apr 16:42

So It Goes

23 Feb 15:52

Classic Secrets

by Frank

ashamed

baby

balls

boring
Shhh- the cover and name of the new PostSecret book are a secret but you can pre-order it now; CLICK HERE.

chuck

cool

forgive

forgiven

guilty

meant

older

placebo

polite

rapist

kite

27 Jan 23:23

Winter

Stay warm, little flappers, and find lots of plant eggs!
14 Jan 18:41

"What Is Soil?"

kweenkmatt

Poignant.

I was discussing the last year or so of my life with my friend Brock yesterday. We were talking through the losses and tragedies I’ve suffered and whatnot, and I explained that I look at all of it as casualties for the greater good.

"I look at all I lost this year and I consider myself the luckiest person," I said. "I still have everything that truly matters. My eyes, my hearing, my health, my legs… I’m breathing and working every day. All of my losses are superficial. They were all elements of a life that was holding my real self back. The marriage, the company, the house, the lifestyle… All constructs of a life that isn’t really me."

"Your losses cleared the way for you to explore who you are?" he asked.

"Yeah, something like that," I said. "I consider losing all of that stuff the same as a farmer burning the fields to clear the weeds so that the soil is free to grow healthy, new crops."

Brock looked at me for a moment. “What is soil?” he asked me.

Now, Brock is a really, really wise dude. He’s brilliant, calm, open, aware and quite the conversationalist. But I had absolutely no idea where he was going with that question.

"Uh…" I replied. "It’s It’s nitrogen? Minerals? A safe and sound place for things to grow? The earth? The foundation of life? It’s the place you grow your roots? I dunno… What are you looking for as an answer?” 

“It’s a bunch of dead things,” he replied.

Whoa.

I sat there stunned by the brilliant elegance of something so simple. The foundation for all life is comprised of the remains of former lives. Soil is compost. It’s manure. It’s decomposition. It’s rich mineral and nutrient content comes from the passing of other things. Thus, it takes tragedy and loss for growth to occur. 

I’m still processing this. But I had to share it. 

06 Jan 18:01

#599 Walking around naked when you’re home alone

by nkspas

You are charged with one count of checking yourself out in the mirror, two counts of irresponsible couch usage, four counts of shower-to-bedroom carpet drippage, and seventeen counts of temporary nudity of the first degree.

How do you plead?

AWESOME!

Photo from: here


26 Dec 19:31

Scumbag Bosses Get Even Scumbaggier Around Christmas Time

19 Dec 15:01

Note to self: stop complaining and do shit…

kweenkmatt

Git 'er done!



Note to self: stop complaining and do shit…

04 Nov 21:24

Plus He Can Always Push Ink Around

Plus He Can Always Push Ink Around

Submitted by: Unknown

Tagged: sushi , squid , funny , web comics
04 Nov 18:44

Otter’s Vegan Korma Curry

by Silly Human

And now for something completely different!

korma
You may know that with all the rescued animals here, I’m vegan. That means for 4+ years now I’ve avoided all animal products as much as possible. (I was also vegetarian for several years before going vegan). But before all that, I used to looove korma. True korma is a sweet/spicy, yogurt-based Indian yellow curry. My favorite korma was from a restaurant in San Francisco called India Clay Oven. I rarely met a korma I didn’t like, but their recipe was my favorite. After missing korma for over a decade, I recently decided to find a good non-vegan korma recipe and try to vegan-ize it.

With 4 versions tried and eaten over the past month, I’m finally confident that this recipe is super tasty. It’s a little simpler than the recipe I started from, so I call it “Otter’s Vegan Korma Curry.” I tried versions with Beyond Meat and Gardein, but in the end, I prefer this combo of mushrooms, cauliflower and tofu. If you try this vegan recipe yourself, please comment and let me know what you think!

ingredients
Ingredients:
4 Tbsp olive oil
1 small onion, diced
3 cloves of a garlic bulb, minced
1 tsp ground ginger
1 1/2 tsp turmeric
1 tsp cayenne/red pepper (for medium; 1/2 tsp for mild, 2 tsp for hot)
2 tsp Indian garam masala
2 tsp Indian ground coriander
1 tsp cumin
1 1/2 tsp salt

1 pint sliced fresh crimini mushrooms
6 oz super firm tofu
1 chopped tomato
1/2 head of cauliflower
1 15oz (regular size) can coconut milk
1/2 cup cashew nuts or almond slivers
2 cups basmati white rice
_________________________________

Directions:
Break the cauliflower into small florets and steam or boil until softened but not soggy (12 minutes steamed).

basmati rice
Start the rice. Use basmati rice, preferably from Pakistan. It makes a big difference. Follow directions on package using about 2 cups of rice. It likely takes about 20 minutes.

onion
Using a high-sided pan over medium heat, add the onion and garlic to your olive oil and cook for 1 minute.

spices
Add the spices: turmeric, cayenne, garam masala, cumin, salt, and coriander. Stir for 1 minute.

ginger tomato
Add the chopped tomato and ginger, and then the tofu and mushrooms. NOTE: Adjust heat or add a bit more oil to ensure your spices aren’t burning.

mushrooms and tofu
Cook until the mushrooms and tofu soak up the spices (2-4 minutes). Add in your steamed cauliflower and cook another 1-2 minutes.

coconut milk
Stir in the entire can of unsweetened coconut milk. Let it all simmer for 5-10 minutes.

almond slivers
Right before serving, add the cashews or almond slivers. NOTE: Without the cayenne, you’ll need more salt. This recipe is a bit undersalted because of the variance in cayenne… adjust to your own taste.

bon appetit
Garnish with a bit of cilantro and serve over basmati rice.

Bon appetit!

korma
Makes 6-8 servings. Re-heats well in the microwave and is great for freezing.
Cooking time: 25 minutes.

24 Oct 13:48

The Brutality of History

ponies history friends trojan horse funny

Submitted by: (via Owl Turd)

23 Oct 18:30

New to Who But Don't Want to Watch All the Seasons?

Submitted by: slywlf

Tagged: doctor who , recap , Video
23 Oct 18:26

75 Years Of Man Of Steel

That John Williams theme is one of his best.

Submitted by: Unknown

Tagged: history , animation , superman
23 Oct 18:12

Eat Them All, My Precious!

Eat Them All, My Precious!

One meal to rule them all, and in the darkness bind them (with sheer yumminess)!

Submitted by: Unknown (via Kitchen Overlord)

Tagged: lotr , kitchen overlord , food , noms
22 Oct 16:14

Note to self: plant your own gardens…

by joethepeacock


Note to self: plant your own gardens…

14 Oct 13:54

Note to self: the bad guys…

by joethepeacock


Note to self: the bad guys…

02 Oct 12:52

Shadowfacts

'Look to my coming on the fifth day. At dawn, look to the east.' 'And look to the west to see our shadows!'
26 Sep 21:28

At Jenkinson's Aquarium, Tiny Horseshoe Crabs Have an Important Message

by Andrew Bleiman

1 horseshoe crab

Early one morning in August, an aquarist at Jenkison's Aquarium in New Jersey came across some tiny surprises: several hundred Horseshoe Crab babies had hatched in an off-exhibit holding tank. They have been doing very well and some are now on exhibit in the aquarium's classroom to promote a message of shoreline conservation, as migratory shorebirds depend on Horseshoe Crab eggs for a food source during their long migrations. 

The Atlantic Horseshoe Crab has been called a 'living fossil' because we find fossilized Horseshoe Crabs from over 200 million years ago. They are actually more closely related to spiders and scorpions than to crabs. This arthropod is in a class by itself though - Merostomata - which means 'legs attached to the mouth'. Trilobites that lived over 500 million years ago are actually a closer relative to this creature.

2 horseshoe crab

3 horseshoe crabPhoto credits: Jenkinson's Aquarium

The Delaware Bay region is home to the largest population of the Atlantic Horseshoe Crab, which range along the east coast from Nova Scotia to the Yucatan. Three other species of Horseshoe Crab live in the coastal waters of Japan and Indonesia. Horseshoe Crab spawning usually takes place in May and June during evening high tides at full and new moons. The female will dig holes in the sand, depositing thousands of eggs at a time, and then drag the male over them to fertilize them. Incoming tide waters cover the nests with sand.

The Delaware Bay’s Horseshoe Crab population has declined by 90% over the last 150 years, mostly due to over-harvesting. Horseshoe crabs are used as bait for fishing, and their bright-blue blood is also used by the biomedical industry, as it contains a powerful bacterial decontaminant used in intravenous drugs. Biomedical harvesters use a catch-and-release method which is meant to reduce the mortality of these creatures. 

As the number of Horseshoe Crabs in the area has declined, so has the number of eggs available for consumption by migrating shorebirds. Shorebird population numbers are plummeting as well, as many cannot gain the amount of energy needed to complete their migrations. One such bird is the Red Knot, which has been placed on New Jersey’s Endangered Species list. Many other shorebirds will be at risk as well if Horseshoe Crab populations are unable to rebound.