




firehose'Since at least 2001, the US government has had access to all the internet communication passing through at least one and possibly more fiber-optic hubs in the US. That would give the NSA access to a vast amount of data without “direct access” to company servers. ... US spy agencies have even warned that the gradual shift away from the US as the primary hub for internet communications could make it more difficult for them to eavesdrop.'
!["[W]e have not joined any program that would give the U.S. government—or any other government—direct access to our servers," says Google CEO Larry Page.](http://qzprod.files.wordpress.com/2013/06/larry_page_usa.jpg?w=640)
Google CEO Larry Page just said in a blog post that Google has never heard of a program called “PRISM,” and that the US government does not have “direct access” to Google’s servers, as alleged by recent media reports. Assuming that the PowerPoint slides published yesterday by the Guardian and Washington Post and purporting to be from the US National Security Agency aren’t simply fake, how then is it possible that the NSA has broad access to Google’s data without Google ever giving it up?
The answer, says 30-year NSA veteran turned whistleblower William Binney, is simple: Since at least 2001, the US government has had access to all the internet communication passing through at least one and possibly more fiber-optic hubs in the US. That would give the NSA access to a vast amount of data without “direct access” to company servers.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that something more sinister doesn’t exist, says Binney; the NSA might have more than just peripheral access to some internet companies. Assuming that the NSA’s detection systems are placed only on major hubs for internet communication, as the one discovered in 2005 was, the NSA might be missing internet traffic that doesn’t travel through these hubs. So PRISM, hypothesizes Binney, might have been initiated in order to capture internet communications the NSA was not able to record already. (If such a system tapped directly into company servers, though, it would contradict Brin’s statement today.)
“I figure they could get 80% on what’s on the network and the other 20%, the companies [like Google and Facebook] have to fill in,” says Binney, who adds that these numbers are “just my estimate” based on what’s known about how much traffic flows through the Internet’s busiest hubs.
Binney also points out that, given the structure of the internet, the NSA is best equipped to spy on Americans, not foreigners, because the hubs it has access to are all in the US. Despite this fact, much of the world’s internet traffic travels through the US anyway, making it a uniquely advantageous place to put listening devices. US spy agencies have even warned that the gradual shift away from the US as the primary hub for internet communications could make it more difficult for them to eavesdrop.
firehose'it is awfully suspect for Sensenbrenner (to) claim that the Patriot Act struck an appropriate balance; that it had a worrisome potential for abuse; and that it has in fact been abused by Obama -- especially when the abuse in question is exactly the sort of thing critics warned against!
Yes, this is just a letter dashed off in a single news cycle. But Sensenbrenner has had ample cause to rethink the wisdom of the bill he authored on several previous occasions. He has a curious history of insisting that it is good law, then feeling "betrayed" by the people implementing it.'
The Atlantic |
Author of Patriot Act says NSA phone records collection 'never the intent' of law
Fox News The author of the Patriot Act said Thursday that a secret program under which the Obama administration was collecting phone records from millions of Americans is "excessive" and beyond the scope of the law. Rep. Jim Sensenbrenner, R-Wis., who wrote the ... Jay Evensen: Government collects personal data ... are you surprised?Deseret News NSA's Verizon records collection: "Calm down," Reid saysCBS News Admit It, Rep. Sensenbrenner: You Were Wrong About the Patriot ActThe Atlantic Red Menace (subscription) -NPR -Slate Magazine all 113 news articles » |
firehoseslothface beat
Melbourne, Australia-based artist Isaac Moores (aka “Izac Less“) has created a “Face Folding Films“, an ongoing video series where he takes famous movie scenes and compresses the faces of every character. Previously we wrote about Isaac and his animated version of Patton Oswalt’s Star Wars: EpIsode VII plot proposal.
Here is episode 2 ofd “Face Folding Films,” which was recently released:
Lord Voldemort (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2)
Ferris Bueller (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off)
Scott Pilgrim (Scott Pilgrim vs. the World)
firehoseone of my favorite toy concepts is the modular DIY sonic screwdriver
would love to see more modular toys and kits come out to encourage custom assemblages without being as granular as, say, LEGO or complex as machining/printing your own stuff
Prop and costume maker Bill Doran of Punished Props has launched the Prop Space Gun Project with the goal of creating do-it-yourself kits of Doran’s original space pistol design for anyone to build, modify, and paint themselves. In addition to creating DIY space gun kits, Doran is also offering a limited number of “collectors edition” models already assembled and painted. The project is currently seeking funding on Kickstarter.
images via Bill Doran
On June 20, Bandai Namco will release Kuma Tomo for 3DS in Japan, a game in which you are pressed into the service of a horrifying teddy bear brought to life somehow.
This unnatural creature requires you to cook fresh food for it, even though it can’t possibly have a digestive system. Naturally, since you’re cramming food into its magically animated fluff, you have to wash your Bear Friend as well.
BUY Nintendo 3DS and 3DS XL consoles, upcoming games
firehoseI was about to be excited when I realized they will just make Google+ the new Meebo bar, and holy fuck you shit hell
We won't have the Meebo bar to kick around any more. A year after Google acquired the makers of the social networking web page plug-in, the company has shut down the Meebo bar and integrated its team with Google+. "We have decided to focus our resources on initiatives like the recently launched Google+ Sign-In (which includes interactive posts and over-the-air app installs) and the Google+ plug-ins," Meebo said in a post on its website.
Unlike the decision to shut down Google Reader, the end of Meebo hasn't generated much outrage since it was announced last year. While it started as an instant messenger embedded on websites, it morphed into a tool publishers used to generate traffic and revenue by exhorting readers to share stories in a pop-up that appeared at the bottom of every article page. It was the subject of intense criticism for years.
Now the team will work on integrating Google+ into other websites, a high priority for Google's social team. Here's hoping Meebo's future work at Google is less obtrusive than its signature product.
firehose"external keyboards get around the timing lockout associated with the virtual lockscreen keyboard"
ha ha great

It’s quite common to have a timed lockout after entering several bad passwords. This simple form of security makes automated brute force attacks unfeasible by ballooning the time it would take to try every possible permutation. The lock screen on iOS devices like iPad and iPhone have this built in. Enter your code incorrectly several times and the system will make you wait 1, 5, 15, and 60 minutes between entries as you keep inputting the wrong code. But there is an exploit that gets around this. [Pierre Dandumont] is showing off his hardware-based iPad lock screen attack in the image above.
He was inspired to try this out after reading about some Mac EFI attacks using the Teensy 3. That approach used the microcontroller to spoof a keyboard to try every PIN combination possible. By using the camera kit for iPad [Pierre] was able to do the same. This technique lets you connect wired keyboards to the iPad, but apparently not the iPhone. A bluetooth keyboard can also be used. These external keyboards get around the timing lockout associated with the virtual lockscreen keyboard.
We’re of the opinion that this is indeed a security vulnerability. If you forget your passcode you can simply restore the device to remove it. That wipes all of your personal data which can then be loaded from an iTunes backup. Lockscreens are paramount if a device is stolen. They will give you the time you need to change any online credentials which might be remembered by the device.
firehosevia saucie
ridiculous production values on kids rapping about school uniforms
firehose'A 26-year-old corporate cybersecurity consultant, Lostutter lives on a farm with his pit bull, Thor, and hunts turkeys, goes fishing, and rides motorcycles in his free time. He considers himself to be a patriotic American; he flies an American flag and enjoys Bud Light. He's also a rapper with the stage name Shadow, and recently released a solo album under the aegis of his own label, Nightshade Records. The name dovetails with that of his Anonymous faction, KnightSec. ... If convicted for hacking a Steubenville football fan site, he could face 10 years. The rapists got one and two.'
firehosethanks, Obama
Yellowstone Gate |
Obama proposes lifting Lower 48 wolf protections
MyNews3 Las Vegas KSNV BILLINGS, Mont. (AP) — The Obama administration has proposed lifting most remaining federal protections for gray wolves across the Lower 48 states, a move that would end four decades of recovery efforts but that some scientists say is premature. State and ... Allysia Finley: Lone Wolf Seeks Same—No Stalker Homo Sapiens, PleaseWall Street Journal APNewsBreak: Plan lifts Lower 48 wolf protectionsThe Missoulian Interior Department proposes removing gray wolf from endangered listThe Hill (blog) KLCC FM Public Radio all 129 news articles » |
firehoseyou know you're doing something right when this asshole talks shit about you or your city
fuck the falcons
firehoserobots, apple stores, google+
Read more of this story at Slashdot.
firehoselol why would palantir be involved lol
lol u dumb journalis lol google reader lover lol
lolol palantir lol
Earlier today, Talking Points Memo surfaced a new theory about the NSA and FBI's PRISM surveillance program: that it originated with data mining software company Palantir. "Palantir has a software package called 'Prism': 'Prism is a software component that lets you quickly integrate external databases into Palantir,'" wrote an anonymous source. "That sounds like exactly the tool you'd want if you were trying to find patterns in data from multiple companies." Palantir, which offers its services to a variety of industries, is well-known for its national security work. Likely coincidentally, it even once proposed a smear campaign against journalist Glenn Greenwald, who released information about both PRISM and a court order requiring Verizon to turn over call logs. But the company says its Prism program has nothing to do with surveillance.
"Palantir's Prism platform is completely unrelated to any US government program of the same name," the company told us. "Prism is Palantir's name for a data integration technology used in the Palantir Metropolis platform (formerly branded as Palantir Finance). This software has been licensed to banks and hedge funds for quantitative analysis and research." Palantir's overview of the program describes it as a way to integrate databases into its software.
So far, none of the companies named in the PRISM leak has given us a statement either admitting or denying Palantir's involvement. Yahoo and AOL referred us to previous statements about PRISM, reiterating that they do not provide government agencies with access to their servers. As Talking Points Memo's source points out, of course, that technically means they could be granting access to a third party like Palantir. Likewise, Palantir isn't explicitly ruling out involvement with the NSA (which has been openly identified previously as a client) — but it is saying that the Prism program isn't part of any surveillance effort.
firehosehow much apple product placement will this one have

He brought the Good Book to the wasteland in The Book of Eli. Now Denzel Washington has signed on for another Dystopian flick titled Shovel Ready. Hopefully this one won't actually be about a shovel.
CBS News |
FBI: Shannon Richardson tried to frame husband for ricin letters sent to Obama ...
CBS News TEXARKANA, Texas Shannon Richardson had been married to her husband less than two years when she went to authorities and told them her suspicions: He was the one who had mailed ricin-laced letters to President Barack Obama and New York Mayor ... Texas actress charged in Obama ricin threatKEPR 19 Texas actress arrested in ricin caseStephenville Empire-Tribune 'Walking Dead' actress arrested in connection with ricin caseKingston Daily Freeman JDJournal.com -Aledo Times Record all 751 news articles » |

It's been 20 years since Method Man first threatened to "lay your nuts on a fucking dresser and bang them shits with a spiked fucking bat," and the Wu-Tang Clan is celebrating by encouraging us all to reunite with our families. The Clan is still in the studio working on a new album, but they just released "Family Reunion," a single that RZA said he hopes will "inspire family reunions throughout the world." Not to be confused with that time he encouraged decapitation.
You can listen to the single and order a 7" of it here. List of tour dates below.
6/14/13 - Manchester, TN - Bonnaroo Festival
7/5/13 - Quebec, Canada - Festival d'Ete International de Quebec
7/6/13 - 80/35 Festival 2013 - Des Moines, IA
7/7/13 - Ottawa, Canada - RBC Royal Bank Bluesfest
8/30/13 - 9/1/13 - Chicago, IL - North Coast Music ...
Jennifer Olivarez has created an adorable crocheted sweater to turn Myrtle the turtle into Super Mario Bros. villain Bowser. Step by step directions for how to make your very own Bowser turtle sweater are available at Olivarez’s website Squirrel Picnic. Previously, we wrote about Katie Bradley’s tiny turtle cozies available for purchase on Etsy.
Bowser, image by Nintendo via Wikipedia
images via Squirrel Picnic
via Geek Crafts, Pxlbyte
firehose"Even if the extreme reaction of the last week has forced some people off the political fence and onto the side of the protesters, AKP can still count on support from much of its conservative base, who helped elect it to a third electoral victory in 2011."
Remember, the protesters are more in favor of a permissive secular military junta than an oppressive democracy led by a right-wing Islamist (but more like our religious right than, say, Hezbollah). AKP swept into power after Turkey tweaked its constitution toward Western democracy and removed protections on military coup leaders, tightened their courts, and added protections for elected officials in defunct or sanctioned political parties in order to join the EU.
Ideally the protestors would like a secular democracy, but that's kind of hard when the secularists don't bring enough votes to the polls in an actual democracy.

Turkey’s story has been one of cycles of conflict and then calm, not long-term violence in which citizens gather arms against the regime. Turkish military intervention could, for decades, be counted on to impose order on a divided public or allegedly Islamic-leaning political leaders.
While the current protest over Istanbul’s Gezi Park have escalated in violence, domestic tensions no longer portend a coup.
The army, long the Turkish public’s most trusted institution and the self-styled guardian of Kemalist secularism, has seen its role as domestic watchdog neutered by a combination of democratizing reforms (that have placed it more firmly under civilian control) and political maneuvering that has removed many of its most vigilant generals from office.
Without plausible military intervention, AKP is far more emboldened than any previous right-wing party in Turkey might have been and will almost surely retain full power over the military and law enforcement.
But as for the idea that everyday Turks might rise up against the state, and the military? That’s even less likely. Despite the hundreds of thousands of protesters on the streets and the millions more that might sympathize with them, AKP too has millions of supporters. Even if the extreme reaction of the last week has forced some people off the political fence and onto the side of the protesters, AKP can still count on support from much of its conservative base, who helped elect it to a third electoral victory in 2011.
Three outcomes are possible. Least likely is that Erdogan will concede to demands for his resignation and early elections that could sweep AKP out of office. He intensifies his rhetoric daily and defiantly insists that construction on Gezi Park will go forward. Having painted himself into a tight political corner, Erdogan sees himself unable to respond to protesters without looking weak, no matter how many people head to the streets—a shame since even acknowledging the protesters could do much to calm the situation.
A second, more likely outcome is that the protest movement will peter out after several more days or weeks, dissuaded by the ongoing injuries, arrests, and deaths that will accompany continued police violence. We must only hope that the state response stops short of harsher tactics like increased arrests and the ordering of civilian deaths, which would seriously harm human rights as well as Turkey’s international standing. In the longer term, successfully evading calls for reform would probably entrench Erdogan’s domineering tendencies, which could potentially spell a tragic, slow slide into authoritarianism.
A third possibility—a long, Syria-like intractable civil conflict—seems premature. Erdogan, for all the current chaos, is not Assad. As far as we know, internet connections have not been tampered with, the police have not been authorized or instructed to kill civilians, and organizations within Turkey seem to feel comfortable publicly lodging their complaints. In short, things are not as bad as they could be and there is room for compromise. Erdogan should seize it and rein in the police force’s more extreme methods. The situation is precarious and any or all of the above factors could yet change to galvanize anti-AKP forces and make civil conflict more likely.
Also a mediating factor is the collective understanding within Turkey that the country has come incredibly far economically and politically in recent years. Everyone, Erdogan included, is loathe to undo years of progress. Full breakdown would not only hurt Turkish citizens, but also Turkey’s standing as an emerging regional power and the oft-lauded model of Muslim-majority democracy.
Nonetheless, intractable conflict is not entirely off the table and could become more likely if intensifying crackdowns spur and radicalize protesters rather than disperse them. Turkish society has historically grappled with its main divisions—secular/religious, elite/working class, and right/left—in fits and starts of conflict that have eventually abated, albeit sometimes with military intervention. Now, with an enervated army and the national media largely stymied by AKP, protesters know that their prospects are limited.
If crushed without any governmental concession or acknowledgment, they might write off Turkish democracy as a sham, disengage from public life, and leave the victorious AKP to lead a country made unstable by ossified social divisions that push dissidents toward violence.
Erdogan would be prudent to make reasonable overtures before the viability of an unlikely Turkish Spring, or, worse yet, a long-term civil war, are put to the test.
We welcome your comments at ideas@qz.com.
firehoselol Tumblr as an intel source lol
…So it looks like the only largish player they’re NOT interested in is Tumblr.
MOAR MEMES EVERYBODY! :)
firehoselolwut
By Nathan Grayson on June 7th, 2013 at 6:00 pm.

Remember the days before Volition exclusively made (admittedly marvelous) games about superpowered crimelords/US Presidents dubstep gunning virtual reality aliens? Those were very different times. For one, we didn’t have smartphones or Facebook or music players we have to actively worry about ingesting or anything like that, but mainly that era saw the Saints Row’s developer craft some of the finest space combat sims in all the ‘verse. Unfortunately, Freespace and Freespace 2 couldn’t out-dogfight the then-mighty retail mothership, and the Interplay-published series crashed and burned. But here’s the fun part: Via Volition, Freespace ended up at THQ, who’s now sold it back to… Interplay.
Yes, Interplay, the company who’s only slightly more existent than THQ at this point. The publisher sealed the deal with a cool-as-an-airless-vacuum sum of $7500, which is a disturbingly small amount of my total yearly rent. If I moved someplace else, I could own Freespace. Right now. I will carry this regret to my deathbed.
In recent years, Interplay’s kept itself busy by battling with Bethesda over the rights to a Fallout MMO and attempting to crowdfund a resurrected Black Isle… with hardly any of its original talent or franchises. They’ve been pin-drop silent since the end of last year.
So, is Freespace in good hands? Who knows. Perhaps Interplay’s assembled some kind of old-school game development uber-team, though a near-comical plague of financial issues says it’s not likely. Maybe we’ll find out, er, someday? Here’s hoping, but I’m not holding my breath.
firehose"If a relationship is built on trust, then Microsoft sucks at relationships. ... Xbox One's policy, as it stands, includes all of the burdensome aspects of PC gaming and none of the best."
After a month of vague corporate comments from Microsoft executives, we now know the Xbox One's game licensing policy was written from the ground up for companies. It's aggressively anti-consumer and anti-middle class, and it outright ignores underprivileged gamers. It's gross, despicable, greedy, pathetic, cowardly and out of touch with a growing global resentment for corporations.
Microsoft has designed a policy by committee, with that committee representing the interests of large video game publishers and retailers, and internet providers. "Participating retailers" have the privilege to be the exclusive resellers of games, torpedoing the consumer-to-consumer resale market, while third-party publishers have the option to restrict the resale of games entirely.
As speculated for months, we now know for a fact all owners of the Xbox One will be required to have an internet connection, so that their new console can ping Microsoft every 24 hours, alerting the mother brain as to whether or not the child's been caught stealing from the cookie jar. If a relationship is built on trust, then Microsoft sucks at relationships.
The Xbox One is out of touch with a growing global resentment for corporations
You have limited rights, despite being the theoretical owner of the hardware and software. You can't rent games; you can't trade games; you can't resell games, at least not without sharing a cut with Microsoft's favored retailers.
Microsoft has girded itself from criticism with puny asterisks, like the one-time option to give a game, and the needlessly perplexing family share plan. Both asterisks are themselves asterisked by Microsoft's reserved right to modify or outright strip these rights at a later date, should the company see fit.
The thinly masked intention of this policy is to have an advantage over the consumer, to control how they play games, where they buy games and for how much. The policy shrewdly restricts competition by annihilating entire alternative marketplaces like eBay, rental shops and person-to-person trading or sharing. Without competition we can assume static and high prices. Why can we assume that? Because each time Microsoft's approached a road diverged in a yellow wood, they've chosen the one that makes them and select partners the most money.
If you're low on money, you're out of luck.
Let's say you have money, though. You can afford the console, controllers, games, internet and Xbox Live. Are your living arrangements fit for gaming on the Xbox One?
The "1.5 Mbps" necessary for a comfortable experience is nothing to blush at. For cloud computing (expected to be mandatory for Respawn Entertainment's Xbox One and PC shooter Titanfall) the bandwidth requirement may be higher. Assuming your internet connection still handles that speed, what about the other people in your home who'd like to use the internet? If you have one person downloading videos on a computer or two people surfing on laptops, what sort of reliability can you expect from the Xbox One cloud service?
As a teenager, going on the internet meant asking everyone else to stay off the phone. Off the stated policy, I wonder if playing the Xbox One means asking everyone in my home to stay off the internet.
I've seen one recurring defense of the policy.
Will playing the Xbox One mean asking everyone in my home to stay off the internet?
Some commentators have compared the Xbox One's internet-connection and used-game policies to PC gaming. And sure, the Xbox One does appear to share the worst parts of PC gaming: obtrusive DRM from AAA publishers; complex if not impossible methods for sharing games; the need for an internet connection to play some games, connect to some digital merchants and ping some third-party servers.
But the Xbox One policy doesn't share the good aspects of PC gaming. PC games can be given away by developers. PC games can be sold without DRM. There are alternative retailers, allowing the consumer to choose where he or she buys from. And because there is choice, there is competition, and because there is competition, there is competitive pricing.
On PC, you can "donate" to the Humble Bundle and choose precise amounts of cash to award a game's creator. On PC, you can play alpha builds of games that are months if not years from completion, and participate in some capacity in that game's development. On PC, publishers are free to do all of the awful things offered by the Xbox One. But they're also free to do things that are responsible and consumer-friendly.
PC publishers are free to be consumer-hostile or consumer-friendly
One additional thing that doesn't pertain to Xbox One's policy per se, but the system itself. A PC is compatible with a massive catalogue of over two decades' worth of games. An Xbox One is not. Never have the words fresh start sounded so awful.
Xbox One's policy, as it stands, includes all of the burdensome aspects of PC gaming and none of the best.
Next week, I will visit the Electronic Entertainment Expo, the annual celebration of video games' biggest corporations. Microsoft will be hosting a lavish press conference to further acquaint the world with its new system. But the company's executives won't be meeting with much of the press. They canceled their post-press conference interviews, all of them as best I can tell, and have even canceled some interviews at the show itself. I understand. They probably couldn't fit everyone in between all the CEOs they have to meet with.
Microsoft is married to business now. They don't have time for consumers anymore.
firehosehey guyes its palantir again
firehoseworst-formatted share ever
Union Square Donuts
mostly novelty donuts from stupid fucking New York and Chicago but no Blue Star, no Voodoo, no beignets
Image 1 of 18 Image 2 of 18Dun-Well Doughnuts
Brooklyn, NY
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Orange-Pistachio
You'd never guess from tasting this unique combo of citrus and nut that all of Dun-Well's pastries are vegan, but they are. Those tree-hugging health maniacs have infiltrated even our most sacred ground: dessert!! But once you tast these 'nuts, you'll finally like vegans. The place's also got a Cadbury Creme Egg donut that's only available at Easter, and is miraculously made without sacrificing the lives of ANY Cadbury chickens, even though that doesn't make sense. Image 3 of 18Endgrain
Chicago, IL
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Bourbon Vanilla
It's never a bad thing when you've got bourbon in your dessert. Add to that a Bacon Butterscotch number and one called Nutella Milk Stout, and you've got the well-rounded meal of arhinomanly donut-fiend. Just be sure to get at least a six-pack, like we did, so you don't have to play favorites. Image 4 of 18Glam Doll Donuts
Minneapolis, MN
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Peanut Butter Sriracha
It's just like your classic PB&J, except instead of jelly, it's COVERED in Sriracha, then sprinkled with peanut shards. Given that it's served alongside The Starlet (strawberry frosting, chocolate sprinkles), The Calendar Girl (chocolate glaze topped with sea salt, with a melted caramel center), and a maple-glazed, candied bacon-topped Long John, you won't mind a little spicy Asian invasion in your American classic. Image 5 of 18Doughnut Dolly
Oakland, CA
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Hand-Filled "Naughty Cream"
This place is named after the women in WWI who would bring coffee and donuts to soldiers (so THAT'S what "total war" entails!), and the woman who makes 'em injects flavors like chocolate-hazelnut, raspberry jam, and the above unmentionable delight. Image 6 of 18Federal Donuts
Philadelphia, PA
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Mint Chocolate Cookie
After sending their 'nuts through a robot fryer, FD coats them in flavored sugars (Turkish Mocha, Strawberry Fennel, Vanilla Spice), then tops them with delicious "mixes" like the above Mint Chocolate Cookie, Maple Bacon, or Spicy PB&J. Did we mention they've also got coffee-fried chicken? They've also got coffee-fried chicken. Image 7 of 18Do Rite Donuts
Chicago, IL
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Maple with Candied Bacon
Like all of Do Rite's flavors, the fellas above are lovingly made in batches of three dozen, and are technically closer to fried dough than donuts, hence the cruller-esque appearance. But hey, a donut by any other name would still smell as sweet, thanks to delicious fried cake, icing, and CANDIED FREAKING BACON. Open-faced jellies with peanut butter mousse and raspberry jam are their other, um, jam, so you should probably just get all three dozen yourself. Image 8 of 18Union Square Donuts
Somerville, MA
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Maple Bacon
Combine the ladies who teach you how to cook and do all sorts of DIY at City Chicks with the kombucha/ice pop cyclists at Culinary Cruisers, and you gethand-knit kombucha koozies?scrumptious small-batch donuts (duh!), like their drippingly-delicious maple bacon, hibiscus rose, or stuffed orange-ginger cream. Image 9 of 18Donut Bar
San Diego, CA
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Maple Bacon Bars
"But those donuts aren't even round!", you say. "But they are delicious!", we say. "Mhhrsmwhmmna", you say, as you stuff your face with these life-altering bars. They've also got Crème Brûlée donuts that they make by caramelizing the sugar on top with a blow torch. Or, if neither of those do it for you, opt for their Chocolate Euphoria topped with chocolate curls. Image 10 of 18Astro Doughnuts & Fried Chicken
Washington, DC
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Maple Bacon and Brooklyn Blackout
Aren't they just the purtiest little things you ever did want to inhale in a gluttonous rage? The guy on the left's got a generous helping of Benton's bacon, but if you're more in the mood for "pre-owned" cutoff Beatles tees and mother-shaming haircuts, opt for that BK number on the right, with devil's food cake and cookie-crumb topping. Oh, and in case the name wasn't clear, this place also sells fried chicken. Image 11 of 18Glaze
Denver, CO
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Japanese Circular Cake
Okay, so this one isn't technically a donut, but it IS a crazy Japanese cake with a bajillion layers that takes forever to make/cut/serve. This flavor is Matcha Green Tea with limoncello, and it serves 4-6 people, or just you, you insatiable fiend. Image 12 of 18Gourdough's Public House
Austin, TX
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: The Freebird
The term "donut" may have to once again be a bit flexible to include this monstrosity, but there is technically a donut underneath all that. There also happens to be cheese cake filling, cream cheese icing, graham cracker crumbles, strawberries, and blackberries. Given that the place also has a cocktail called the Grandpa's Breakfast with maple syrup, blood orange, egg white, bacon-infused bourbon, and a STICK OF BACON, it'd be un-American NOT to make the trek out to Austin to snag one of each. Image 13 of 18GBD
Washington, DC
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Brioche with Chocolate Filling and Cocoa Krispies
Surprise! This guy's made of brioche, stuffed with a ring of chocolate, dipped in milk chocolate ganache, sprinkled with Cocoa Krispies, then drizzled with vanilla frosting, allowing you to live out those two dreams you thought were incompatible: fancy beret-wearing writer in a French cafe AND stay-at-home child living in your mom's basement and eating Cocoa Krispies out of the bag so messily that they fall out all over your donuts. Who says dreams can't come true? Image 14 of 18Glazed and Infused
Chicago, IL
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Bar Snack
M&Ms, pretzels, peanuts, potato chips... you can get practically a week's worth of junk food out of the way with a single Bar Snack donut from Glazed and Infused. They've also got banana cream cheese, a Key lime custard-stuffed (topped with graham cracker streusel!), and a bacon-maple Long John, so you've pretty much got all of your junk-food bases covered. Image 15 of 18Surdyk's Cheese Shop
Minneapolis, MN
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Maple Glazed with Bacon
Donuts from a liquor store? Yourwashed-up detectivelife-long dream is finally a reality. Surdyk's fries up their donuts in grape seed oil, resulting in a crispier dough. This fella's glazed in maple and then sprinkled with Benton's bacon, but they've also got lemon-lavender chocolate glazed and a cinnamon, cardamom, clove, and orange Chai Spice donut. Plus, every donut comes with a free donut hole. Sorry, kindergarteners. Image 16 of 18Peter Pan Donut & Pastry Shop
Brooklyn, NY
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Red Velvet Cake
This shop has been around since 1961, so you know this donut with cream and crumbled red velvet cake, all for $1, is totally legit (vanilla glazed with rainbow sprinkles for photo-friendly propping not included). Also, it's from Brooklyn, so you know it enjoys vintage snapbacks. Image 17 of 18Firecakes Donuts
Chicago, IL
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Coconut Cream
This small-batch 'nut shop in Chi-Town coats this coconut cream number in toasted coconut flakes and tops it with a delicious pile of coconut shavings. Or, if you need a little something extra to put out your fire, snag their blood orange with raspberry jelly, Tahitian vanilla glazed, or Nutella Long Johns (!). Image 18 of 18Do or Dine
Brooklyn, NY
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Foie Gras
This place is known for pushing the boundaries (they've got a shot called The Spherickle Back, which is a pickle back in a crazy floating sphere), but a foie gras donut is a serious mind-blower. You may never have imagined you'd be eating a goose liver-stuffed donut, but you DEFINITELY never imagined that a goose liver-stuffed donut could be this tasty.National Donut Day is Friday, June 7th, which is basically the equivalent of having another birthday. Unless your regular birthday is June 7th, in which case you've just got one donutbirthday. Wait, let's call it a Girthday. Yeah, that's it.
But, on such a momentous day, you don't want you to settle for just any donuts -- we took the liberty of rounding up the finest in all the land, right here in this handy list. Track them down and get to celebrating.
Image 2 of 18Dun-Well Doughnuts
Brooklyn, NY
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Orange-Pistachio
You'd never guess from tasting this unique combo of citrus and nut that all of Dun-Well's pastries are vegan, but they are. Those tree-hugging health maniacs have infiltrated even our most sacred ground: dessert!! But once you tast these 'nuts, you'll finally like vegans. The place's also got a Cadbury Creme Egg donut that's only available at Easter, and is miraculously made without sacrificing the lives of ANY Cadbury chickens, even though that doesn't make sense. Image 3 of 18Endgrain
Chicago, IL
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Bourbon Vanilla
It's never a bad thing when you've got bourbon in your dessert. Add to that a Bacon Butterscotch number and one called Nutella Milk Stout, and you've got the well-rounded meal of arhinomanly donut-fiend. Just be sure to get at least a six-pack, like we did, so you don't have to play favorites. Image 4 of 18Glam Doll Donuts
Minneapolis, MN
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Peanut Butter Sriracha
It's just like your classic PB&J, except instead of jelly, it's COVERED in Sriracha, then sprinkled with peanut shards. Given that it's served alongside The Starlet (strawberry frosting, chocolate sprinkles), The Calendar Girl (chocolate glaze topped with sea salt, with a melted caramel center), and a maple-glazed, candied bacon-topped Long John, you won't mind a little spicy Asian invasion in your American classic. Image 5 of 18Doughnut Dolly
Oakland, CA
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Hand-Filled "Naughty Cream"
This place is named after the women in WWI who would bring coffee and donuts to soldiers (so THAT'S what "total war" entails!), and the woman who makes 'em injects flavors like chocolate-hazelnut, raspberry jam, and the above unmentionable delight. Image 6 of 18Federal Donuts
Philadelphia, PA
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Mint Chocolate Cookie
After sending their 'nuts through a robot fryer, FD coats them in flavored sugars (Turkish Mocha, Strawberry Fennel, Vanilla Spice), then tops them with delicious "mixes" like the above Mint Chocolate Cookie, Maple Bacon, or Spicy PB&J. Did we mention they've also got coffee-fried chicken? They've also got coffee-fried chicken. Image 7 of 18Do Rite Donuts
Chicago, IL
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Maple with Candied Bacon
Like all of Do Rite's flavors, the fellas above are lovingly made in batches of three dozen, and are technically closer to fried dough than donuts, hence the cruller-esque appearance. But hey, a donut by any other name would still smell as sweet, thanks to delicious fried cake, icing, and CANDIED FREAKING BACON. Open-faced jellies with peanut butter mousse and raspberry jam are their other, um, jam, so you should probably just get all three dozen yourself. Image 8 of 18Union Square Donuts
Somerville, MA
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Maple Bacon
Combine the ladies who teach you how to cook and do all sorts of DIY at City Chicks with the kombucha/ice pop cyclists at Culinary Cruisers, and you gethand-knit kombucha koozies?scrumptious small-batch donuts (duh!), like their drippingly-delicious maple bacon, hibiscus rose, or stuffed orange-ginger cream. Image 9 of 18Donut Bar
San Diego, CA
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Maple Bacon Bars
"But those donuts aren't even round!", you say. "But they are delicious!", we say. "Mhhrsmwhmmna", you say, as you stuff your face with these life-altering bars. They've also got Crème Brûlée donuts that they make by caramelizing the sugar on top with a blow torch. Or, if neither of those do it for you, opt for their Chocolate Euphoria topped with chocolate curls. Image 10 of 18Astro Doughnuts & Fried Chicken
Washington, DC
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Maple Bacon and Brooklyn Blackout
Aren't they just the purtiest little things you ever did want to inhale in a gluttonous rage? The guy on the left's got a generous helping of Benton's bacon, but if you're more in the mood for "pre-owned" cutoff Beatles tees and mother-shaming haircuts, opt for that BK number on the right, with devil's food cake and cookie-crumb topping. Oh, and in case the name wasn't clear, this place also sells fried chicken. Image 11 of 18Glaze
Denver, CO
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Japanese Circular Cake
Okay, so this one isn't technically a donut, but it IS a crazy Japanese cake with a bajillion layers that takes forever to make/cut/serve. This flavor is Matcha Green Tea with limoncello, and it serves 4-6 people, or just you, you insatiable fiend. Image 12 of 18Gourdough's Public House
Austin, TX
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: The Freebird
The term "donut" may have to once again be a bit flexible to include this monstrosity, but there is technically a donut underneath all that. There also happens to be cheese cake filling, cream cheese icing, graham cracker crumbles, strawberries, and blackberries. Given that the place also has a cocktail called the Grandpa's Breakfast with maple syrup, blood orange, egg white, bacon-infused bourbon, and a STICK OF BACON, it'd be un-American NOT to make the trek out to Austin to snag one of each. Image 13 of 18GBD
Washington, DC
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Brioche with Chocolate Filling and Cocoa Krispies
Surprise! This guy's made of brioche, stuffed with a ring of chocolate, dipped in milk chocolate ganache, sprinkled with Cocoa Krispies, then drizzled with vanilla frosting, allowing you to live out those two dreams you thought were incompatible: fancy beret-wearing writer in a French cafe AND stay-at-home child living in your mom's basement and eating Cocoa Krispies out of the bag so messily that they fall out all over your donuts. Who says dreams can't come true? Image 14 of 18Glazed and Infused
Chicago, IL
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Bar Snack
M&Ms, pretzels, peanuts, potato chips... you can get practically a week's worth of junk food out of the way with a single Bar Snack donut from Glazed and Infused. They've also got banana cream cheese, a Key lime custard-stuffed (topped with graham cracker streusel!), and a bacon-maple Long John, so you've pretty much got all of your junk-food bases covered. Image 15 of 18Surdyk's Cheese Shop
Minneapolis, MN
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Maple Glazed with Bacon
Donuts from a liquor store? Yourwashed-up detectivelife-long dream is finally a reality. Surdyk's fries up their donuts in grape seed oil, resulting in a crispier dough. This fella's glazed in maple and then sprinkled with Benton's bacon, but they've also got lemon-lavender chocolate glazed and a cinnamon, cardamom, clove, and orange Chai Spice donut. Plus, every donut comes with a free donut hole. Sorry, kindergarteners. Image 16 of 18Peter Pan Donut & Pastry Shop
Brooklyn, NY
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Red Velvet Cake
This shop has been around since 1961, so you know this donut with cream and crumbled red velvet cake, all for $1, is totally legit (vanilla glazed with rainbow sprinkles for photo-friendly propping not included). Also, it's from Brooklyn, so you know it enjoys vintage snapbacks. Image 17 of 18Firecakes Donuts
Chicago, IL
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Coconut Cream
This small-batch 'nut shop in Chi-Town coats this coconut cream number in toasted coconut flakes and tops it with a delicious pile of coconut shavings. Or, if you need a little something extra to put out your fire, snag their blood orange with raspberry jelly, Tahitian vanilla glazed, or Nutella Long Johns (!). Image 18 of 18Do or Dine
Brooklyn, NY
Donut You Absolutely Need to Eat: Foie Gras
This place is known for pushing the boundaries (they've got a shot called The Spherickle Back, which is a pickle back in a crazy floating sphere), but a foie gras donut is a serious mind-blower. You may never have imagined you'd be eating a goose liver-stuffed donut, but you DEFINITELY never imagined that a goose liver-stuffed donut could be this tasty.